The Hectic Holiday Season
“It's a crazy time, but one to be savored and enjoyed. It's also a time to remember those who are not having an easy time, those who are in the hospital this Christmas.”
I'm making a list. Get the Christmas tree. And it has to be the right one. Shopping. More shopping. Fight your way through the post office. Find where you stored all the ornaments last year — that place you thought you'd never forget. Full body scan. As if the holidays weren't hectic enough, the normal parts of life with cancer continue as well.
I have to confess here that I am a procrastinator. You will see me out on Christmas Eve, doing that last-minute, panic-driven combat shopping. There are times when it all seems too much. Everyone always talks about how anxiety levels skyrocket during the holidays. So does depression.
Last Christmas was a very different holiday for me. I had just had brain surgery, and still had that line of staples up the side of my head. The world had shifted dramatically beneath my feet. The future was foggy and full of unknowns. And I'll never forget lying in my hospital bed as volunteers came down the halls singing Christmas carols.
This year is more normal. I'm still way behind on that list of things to do. But this year, I'll be able to go out and get the tree myself, rather than watching others do it like last year. I'm strong enough to brave the crowds myself. I won't be wearing a hat to hide that line of staples.
I love the holidays. It's a time of optimism and joy, and also a time for reflection. There's just something about sitting in front of the tree, staring at the lights and thinking about the things that are important to us.
But I also have to find time to get up to the hospital for blood work and that body scan. There are a lot of decisions to make: when to go back on chemo, whether I need radiation on my spine, and oh yeah, what do I get my mom and my sisters?
It's a crazy time, but one to be savored and enjoyed. It's also a time to remember those who are not having an easy time, those who are in the hospital this Christmas. Those for whom the phrase "tidings of joy" may have a very different meaning. So I'm going to enjoy this Christmas, but I'm not going to forget last Christmas either.
6:09 AM ET | 12-13-2006 | permalink
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