it was with such pure child like innocence that my first operation took place this past august. my surgeon led us to believing that this was going to be a simple removal of "the" lump and in actuality it was a "wide open excision," requiring half of my right breast to be sliced opened and stitched and stapled back up! the surgeon smiled as he said i was "node negative" when my husband asked about the lymph nodes. yes, at the moment, node negative was a blessing but it was the pathology report 2 weeks later that told the real truths about the invasiveness of my cancer. sometimes i wish i still had that child like innocence throughout our battle with breast cancer and other times i as an adult know that knowledge is powerful.

Sent by marianne dalton | 6:41 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Ruth, sending the best of all healing thoughts your way. Don't be afraid it just feeds the monster.

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 6:56 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Here, here!

Sent by Chris | 6:56 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Amen!! Ruth, I will pray. Leroy is right, you are not alone in this. Use our strength. We have discovered in this journey that we have plenty to give.

Sent by Kathy B | 6:57 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Thank you Leroy for all your support. I want you to know that reading your blog today made all the difference in the world to me. I know that you truly understand what I am going through and that makes your words to me special. I got all teary eyed reading them, you are an angel, did anyone ever tell you that before. Thank you again for sharing your strength with me.

Sent by Ruth White | 6:59 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Leroy,

You are a generous and giving person. I know your words for/about Ruth will help her as soon as she can read them. I'd like to join you in hoping for the best and sticking around for the worst - at least as much as a person can do that on your blog.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 7:00 PM ET | 02-09-2007

good luck on Tuesday, Ruth. I will be thinking of you and sending positive, peaceful thoughts.

I will also keep my fingers crossed. Maybe that should be our signal to each other.

Sent by em | 7:02 PM ET | 02-09-2007

What a wonderful entry offering support from yourself and this network. My thoughts will be with Ruth next week.

Sent by Dona | 7:03 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Your blog today is timely. I am scheduled for prostate surgery this coming Monday. Your blog "prayer" is helpful. Thanks.

Sent by John McCrillis | 7:04 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Just wanted you to know we learned about Radiologic Ablation through you column. My husband is a stage 4 melanoma patient with liver involvement and he is having the procedure next Wednesday.

Sent by Joan Kelly | 7:09 PM ET | 02-09-2007

I'll be saying some prayers for you, Ruth.

Sent by crow | 7:10 PM ET | 02-09-2007

I'm hoping and praying for you, Ruth. Leroy couldn't be more right — you are not alone. Best of luck on Tuesday.

Sent by Adam | 7:14 PM ET | 02-09-2007

I can't not read this every day. I wish I was able to share these insights while my husband was struggling, but still it is helping me now. This site is special.

Sent by Mary | 7:16 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Leroy's words are so true. And speaking of being all in it together, Ben Lee's song "We're All In This Together" is a feel-good song that puts a smile on my face when I hear it.

Maybe some of you will find the same pleasantness and joy in it that I have found.

Sent by Thomas Kegler | 7:17 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Ruth, We are all with you.... Loving thoughts and prayers will be circling around you before, during, and after. Thank you for having the courage to share your fears and allow all of us to respond in loving ways this forum makes possible.

Sent by Missy | 7:19 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Godspeed, Ruth. You will have a lot of people thinking about you and praying for you.

Sent by Art Ritter | 9:04 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Peaceful journey, Ruth. You will be in my prayers, especially on Tuesday.

Sent by Karen | 9:06 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Will surely be saying a prayer for you Ruth and sending lots of positive/hopeful vibes your way.

Sent by Chandana | 9:07 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Good luck to you, Ruth. We will be thinking about you.

Sent by Gene | 9:09 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Just discovered this blog, will be following it from now on. Thank you Leroy and others for sharing your strength and knowledge. Keeping a good attitude is easier when reading your words and feeling the love!

Sent by Sue | 9:10 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Leroy — Thank you for all you are doing for those of us in the cancer community with this blog. We are learning, sharing, coping, mourning and feeling connected.

Ruth — my heart and prayers are with you that your surgeons will be successful and you will be back out soon and going on with your life or treatments or whatever.

My wife Beth went in for surgery to relieve a blockage two Mondays ago. We have been through so many surgeries and her CEA was so low, we figured this was just a bump in the road. It was a washed out bridge instead. There was far more cancer than expected and things did not go well. After a week and a half we were offered the chance for more surgery that "may" help "if" it could be done, but we'd heard enough after the first surgery to know the odds weren't great. He was offering a slim chance of life but almost none of quality. So know Beth is receiving comfort care and has stopped all hydration, feeding and antibiotic IVs and we wait. We, the immediate family, feel such a deep, deep sadness, but know so well that it is the right choice and the choice any one of us would make if it was our problem.

Sorry to be so morbid, but I really think the worst case is really getting rare with the advances in medicine and surgery, but it really is looming just around the corner. Beth was going to be in the 5% that makes it we said, but it is going to be one of you out there instead.

Peace to all of you, and especially you Ruth. You have our prayers.

Sent by Chuck | 9:13 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Dear Leroy, What greater gift could there be than the last two paragraphs of your Feb. 9 blog entry? We stand with you in these wishes for and promises to Ruth, and to all who are part of this blog community. This collaboration is so powerful. Thank you for facilitating it. You have made the world a very different place by your reporting, and by this blog, and I can tell from your entries, from the way you are a friend to your friends.

Bright blessings!

Sent by Sarah | 9:15 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Leroy, you used a phrase I use... that of wishing the person the "best possible" outcome of a situation. Most people just wish for it to be "good." and to me that means "NAD" and that isn't always going to be a real option for them . But there are still options... perhaps a smaller lump, or a less aggressive tumour, or less radical surgery. Hope doesn't just mean NAD, sometimes the bar has to be set lower for there still to be good news.

I hope I have made sense here in articulating what I was thinking.

Ruth, may you get the best possible news.

Take care.

Sent by JJ | 9:16 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Leroy — Today's commentary leaves me with one hopeful thought — As to my dear friends and relatives, as well as myself who had or have various forms of cancer, some were told that their Cancer was " inoperable." That meant that their cancers were either too far advanced or in places where surgery was not a viable option. The very fact that the doctors are willing to operate on Ruth would seem to me to be a very hopeful sign. Don't you think so?

My operation over twenty yrs ago was successful. Good Luck Ruth. Have Faith in your doctors!

Sent by Jeanne C. Rakowski | 9:19 PM ET | 02-09-2007

Ruth you are in our thoughts, well wishes, and most importantly as Leroy says, you are not alone. You are in our community. We will be with you by our intentions. And you, too, John!!! We have you covered as well.

Sent by Pat Z. | 9:20 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Ruth, There are many people who have you in their thoughts and prayers.

Leroy, can you see what you have done with this column? You have brought together people of all ages, faiths, races, beliefs... and, just like cancer which is no "respecter" of such things, the difference is you've brought us together for good. This vast group of people is not just caring for you, but also for each other.

What you are doing is life-changing! You, our dear, dear friend, have made a difference in this world.

Sent by Sandi Li | 9:22 AM ET | 02-12-2007

What beautiful, simple words of caring and support! I'd like to add my voice to the chorus. Ruth, I'll be thinking of you Tuesday and hoping and praying the news will be good. I'll also be praying that your fears will dissolve, leaving you calm, strong, and at peace with whatever is to come.

Sent by Doris | 9:24 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Ruth, I'll be sending positive thoughts to you for Tuesdays procedure and have my fingers crossed. Em's idea of crossed fingers as the "secret signal" is a great one. I'm going to use it!

Sent by Ann Stern | 9:25 AM ET | 02-12-2007

All the best to you Ruth. We are all pulling for you and sending positive thoughts your way!

Sent by Sandy Lathe | 9:26 AM ET | 02-12-2007

This is for Ruth, John and Joan's husband having surgery next week. You are all in my thoughts. I will think only positive thoughts and I know a higher spirit will take care of you. My heart is filled with love, please take as much as you need.

Sent by Gail Hunsberger | 9:27 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Thumbs up for John on Monday, and Ruth on Tuesday. Know that many are praying for you.

Sent by Heather | 9:28 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Dear Leroy and Fellow Followers —

This day's message made me think of a quote from Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech: "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

It is truly powerful to see how one man's struggle with fear and uncertainty becomes the liberator for so many others... Many thanks Leroy.

And many blessings to everyone inspired to turn and face their own fear.

Sent by Mindy Cardenas | 9:30 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Thoughts are with you Ruth. Please know you are not alone.

Sent by Sharon | 9:31 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Ruth,

I also prayed for you, and will be interested in hearing the results.

Sent by Greg Sheryl | 9:32 AM ET | 02-12-2007

My best wishes and prayers are for Ruth, and all fellow travelers on the road to recovery from cancer and its multiple forms of treatment. However, I don't understand the concept of not doing something once you have put the victim through the agony of going in. It's not like we are put together with velcro or a puzzle toy.

Sent by Joseph P. Lyons | 9:33 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Well said Leroy. Ruth, dear... my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by Toni | 9:35 AM ET | 02-12-2007

I heard Leroy Sievers piece on NPR (the one about the funeral arrangements) and went to check out the blog. I was diagnosed at age 40 with a stage 3c ovarian cancer in December 2005, had an optimal 5&1/2 hour surgery followed by 4 months of chemotherapy (including 2 months of the new IP procedure). As soon as the treatments were over and quite frail, I went to a macrobiotic center in France where I stayed 4 weeks and got help from the main teacher there and learned how to cook. It is a restrictive diet. I read about you having a hard time giving up coffee and chocolate because of antibiotics, so I hesitated about sending this e-mail but how could I not? It has been tremendous for me, at all levels of my being. I am in awe of the power of this diet, on my body (health, vitality and well being) but also on my spirit. There are also good counselors here in the states. With cancer, you have to see somebody with a lot of macrobiotic knowledge, especially if after chemotherapy to get vital instructions on what to eat to rebuild the body. Best wishes to you all.

Sent by Satya | 9:36 AM ET | 02-12-2007

Wishing you peace before your surgery and the best outcome.

Sent by Irene | 11:32 AM ET | 02-12-2007

I am so moved, genuinely moved by the response from all your followers on your blog. Thank you all so very much for your kind words, wishes and prayers. I cannot express how much this means to me. God bless you Leroy and everyone who reads this blog. I'm ready to go tomorrow, thanks to you all.

Sent by Ruth White | 1:28 PM ET | 02-12-2007

I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma almost 9 years ago. I was in remission until 2 years ago when I had a recurrence on my right tibia. The radiation used to destroy the tumor also destroyed much of the bone. I now need a crutch to walk, funny I never feared the effects of the cure, I was afraid of the cancer. Shows how much we don't know about what to fear.

Sent by Shirley Gossett | 1:48 PM ET | 02-12-2007

My husband is also in this battle — has stage IIIB, distal node involvement. Almost made the 2 yr mark before recurrence (one day short). The same week we found out the cancer was back - my very best friend got diagnosed but hers is stage 4. They did go in to remove the part of the liver and like your message says — aborted once in due to the fact that her liver would have looked like swiss cheese if they tried to remove all they found. We just keep praying and trusting in our God.

Sent by Marie Holm | 1:49 PM ET | 02-12-2007

I cried when I read your last 2 paragraphs. Isn't that all that a person wants? To know that people willingly give their strength and caring to one another in times of need? To be alone with the burden of suffering and death is a human predicament. It's an act of grace to be with each other in that time.

Sent by Judith Nast | 5:10 PM ET | 02-15-2007