A Very Important Day

 
“Even if my tumor-free time is limited, it's all worth it. Because it will mean that, even for a short time, I have beaten this disease. The monster didn't get me this time.”
 
 

The following essay is from the NPR My Cancer weekly podcast:

Tomorrow is a big day. Probably the biggest day in the last year and a half for me. Tomorrow I will undergo the third and final — at least for now — Radio Frequency Ablation procedure. There's one last tumor still alive in my lung and this procedure should kill it. So when the drugs wear off and my head starts to clear in the recovery room, I should have... well, I'm not sure how to put it: No more tumors? NED — what the doctors call "No Evidence of Disease"?

I don't want to say I'll be cured, because I don't think that's right. As big a day as tomorrow will be, I know it's more than likely that the cancer will come back somehow, somewhere. But that's a worry for another day. Maybe I don't fear that as much as I used to, because I have new weapons for that day. Another tumor in my lungs? We can do the RFA again. In my spine? Attack it with radiation. And so on. Chemo is still on that list, too, but I have to admit I don't really think of that as a very effective tool any more. But that day may come, too.

I have a hard time looking too far into the future. It does take a while to recover from the RFA. Hopefully, I won't have another collapsed lung. I really don't want to go through that again. Even if that doesn't happen, it takes almost two weeks for the coughing to stop, for the pain to go away. And of course, at some point, I'll have to take the bandage off. That hurts — a lot.

Then I'll need to get to work rebuilding my body. Get my wind back. Start working out regularly again. Try to do many of the things that stopped abruptly back when the doctors told me I had tumors in my brain and lungs. I'm looking forward to that, but I know I have a long way to go before my body will be anything like it was before.

And I've thought a lot about what would happen if it all goes terribly wrong again. What if multiple tumors show up all of a sudden? Another brain tumor? Multiple brain tumors? Well, quite honestly, if that happens, I won't be much worse off than I've been this last year or so. There have been times that looked pretty bleak, and we got through them. I can do that again. So even if my tumor-free time is limited, it's all worth it. Because it will mean that, even for a short time, I have beaten this disease. The monster didn't get me this time.

But I really need to push those thoughts to the back of my mind, and concentrate on this next procedure. Because tomorrow is a very, very important day.

 

Comments (Send a comment)

My father showed the same kind of real courage during his cancer treatment. I salute you Mr. Sievers, and hope and wish for the best.

You are also a true hero.

Sent by Charles Byrne | 12:31 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good health to you Leroy — I send positive vibes your way for a speedy recovery and long lasting health!

Sent by Dorothy | 12:32 PM ET | 03-12-2007

I cannot fully express how much Leroy Sievers regular reports about his journey through cancer means to me. I greatly appreciate his directness, courage and willingness to share his specific experiences with cancer. This greatly helps me with my work as a therapist dealing with my clients who travel their own unique journey of cancers ebbs and flows. Thank you, Leroy for your outstanding gift.

Sent by Etta Robin | 12:34 PM ET | 03-12-2007

All good wishes to you on this day. Others may laugh at this: I've been in remission for years, but still I think it WILL return. I'm just now going through a bad scare with my little kitty, Maggie. She has a very aggressive form of fibrocarcinoma that exhibited so suddenly that I'm in shock. After major and extensive surgery to remove the mass, the fluid continues to show lots of cancer cells. It's 50/50, the vet tells me. She's still recovering in the hospital and I'm able to visit her daily. But, what I wanted to say is that I'm really scared again. For her, but (and I hate to say this) for ME. I'm reminded all over again that cancer can strike again, any time, in any site. Here's little Maggie putting up a game fight, and 10% of my mind is on my fear for myself! That thought will pass, I know. Partly banished by my full attention to helping Maggie, and comforting her brother, who misses her.

You may not regard this as a concern of interest, but I am truly surprised at the force with which the fear-wave rolled over me again.

I take great solace from your essays. See you on the 'morrow!

Sent by Kathleen | 12:36 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

Please know that you are in the conscious awareness of your many friends around the world who wish you continued blessings in your fight to recover your good health. I know from working with you in the old days what a courageous journalist you are. You prove it every day with your honest writing on this struggle within. Good luck and God bless you today.

Sent by Jack Laurence | 12:38 PM ET | 03-12-2007

GO GET EM LEROY!!!

Kill the Bastard!

Much positive energy is being sent from me... and I'm sure from the rest of this community that you built! Thank you Mayor Sievers. Now if you could do something about my noisy neighbors...and my parking tickets, we'd be all good!

Sent by Michael | 12:40 PM ET | 03-12-2007

What can we all say to you today that hasn't already been said before? We all know exactly what you are about to undertake, we all can relate to the pain, the recovery, the "what if" questions for the future... but the item that will always remain the same for all of us out here .. we stand together in our battle for life until our body tells us to stop. I, will take one hour at a time this time for you Leroy, and I will patiently wait until you return so that we can have an NED celebration!!

Sent by Marianne Dalton | 12:43 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy, I am thinking good thoughts for your RFA tomorrow. I hope you do not suffer another collapsed lung. Good thoughts for your doctors, too. What is that saying? — Hope Springs Eternal.

Sent by Jill Jamieson | 1:01 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Best of luck tomorrow Leroy. I hope you will finally go to Hawaii and hoist a few Mai Tais to celebrate life. I've been in NEDland for 3 months now and my body is beginning to rebound. I have 24 inches worth of scars, my hair sticks strait up, my breasts are gone, my muscles are in hiding, but I look at myself in the mirror and think how lovely I am. There's no rationale for this, but it is truly the way I feel. I used to wish my abs were tighter, my breasts higher, and on and on. This cancer has allowed me to appreciate myself (and others)in ways I never did before.

Sent by Patricia | 1:48 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good luck, Leroy. We are all pushing for you and hoping for the best! . . . and no collapsed lung this time!

Sent by Margo Gerber | 1:50 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Bless you and your loved ones tomorrow... a very, very, important day.

Sent by Missy | 1:51 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good luck to you tomorrow, Leroy. Since I didn't find your blog until the last few months, I was reading your early postings last week and I am stunned to hear what you have overcome. NED? That's wonderful and amazing, especially in light of your earlier prognosis. I'm sure all of us will be thinking about you tomorrow and wish you only the best.

Sent by K. Ives | 1:53 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

Best of luck with the procedure. Why not pack up some reading material or some movies and just spend the night tomorrow to be on the safe side.

Sent by Irene | 1:54 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Just wanted to wish you all my best. Hang in there and think positive thoughts.

Sent by Roger C. | 1:55 PM ET | 03-12-2007

My prayers are with you. I am a cancer patient who wonders how we physically and emotionally even have the nerve to go into the operating room. One thing we learn — the will to live trumps tremendous fear. Good luck.

Sent by Mary Casey | 1:56 PM ET | 03-12-2007

All good thoughts and prayers with you! May this RFA be the easiest yet.

Sent by Carol | 1:57 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Awesome! The very best of luck to you tomorrow. We all will be thinking about you and hoping for all to go well for you! Take care and stay strong! You're important to us all!

Sent by Sandy Lathe | 1:58 PM ET | 03-12-2007

God be with you, Leroy.

Sent by Gail Walker | 2:00 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Godspeed Leroy. I'll be pulling for you tomorrow.

Sent by Rhonda | 2:02 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good luck. I have health issues, too, and often the hardest thing is being patient with recovery. Best of luck and I hope you receive good news.

Sent by MT | 2:04 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy, I hope tomorrow's procedure goes smoothly for you. NED... what a lovely acronym to say for you, having gone through so much this past year. Sending good thoughts your way.

Sent by Sheara | 2:11 PM ET | 03-12-2007

You're a brave man, Leroy. It's so good to hear you full of hope despite all that has happened. I'm praying tomorrow's procedure will go well, with no glitches.

Sent by Doris | 2:12 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Know that there are literally thousands of us that will have you in our thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Lesa | 2:13 PM ET | 03-12-2007

First, please let me apologize for my ranting last Friday. I felt very small and self centered after I sent my post. I had to postpone chemo again for a few days and everyday that I postpone is another day of waiting for it to be over. But today I saw my nurse Julie and we did the second Taxol treatment... 3 more to go. A very nice looking man my age with an adorable wife was there for their first treatment. You never know if people will feel comfortable sharing so we were laughing about the fact that the pre-med Benadril makes me very chatty (just the opposite of the affect on most people) I told them to tell me to be quiet if I bugged them. Through 4 hours of chemo I got to "know" them. He is 54, works for the state, they have two almost grown daughters, a good life....and pancreatic cancer with liver metastases. I just looked at him stunned. He said the chemo was just a stop gap, to give him more time. I lost it and wept. (Not the best thing to do but unfortunately I couldn't hold it back my brother was 55 in 1996 when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer...he lived exactly 48 days). His wife got up to take a break and while she was gone he opened up to me. It is amazing how readily he accepted that there was no chance for a good outcome. And even more amazing that his only concern was how he was going to make her life easier when he was gone. He was worried about her not knowing how to pay bills on line... did he have enough retirement for her. So! I am so sorry for being such an incredibly insufferable idiot. I have so many things to be thankful for.

Karen: you are so kind... thank you. Please pray for my new "friend." FYI he found out he was sick on his 25th anniversary on a trip to Hawaii... another weird coincidence their wedding anniversary was one day to the year of mine and my husband's. He has his house in order, so to speak. I asked him not to give up and quoted so many of your thoughts and miracle stories. I have to believe that someone was sending me a message today. Get off your tush, brush yourself off, bandage those skinned knees and get your positive attitude back. Be thankful for your blessings! Thank you again, dear people for this forum and your wonderful thoughts. Leroy, thank you most of all. Good luck tomorrow?enjoy this day and "worry about everything else tomorrow." We are all with you.

Sent by Patti | 2:20 PM ET | 03-12-2007

I wish the very best of luck to you tomorrow Leroy. I can imagine how important to you this is. Having no more cancer in my lungs was a big deal to me, and cheered me up no end! Believe me, going from st 4 to NED is a GREAT ride, and is one that I hope that you're on for a long time.

As far as getting reconditioned after long bouts of surgery, treatment and inactivity, I've been there, and can make some recommendations. Get a referral to a physiatrist, one specializing in rehab of cancer patients is ideal. The physiatrist can write a prescription for physical therapy, and oversee your physical recovery. Therapists who specialize in rehab of cancer patients would be great, and I imagine that a place as good as Hopkins has them. Give water therapy, then water aerobics a try. It feels so good to be in the water after all of the junk we've been through, and it's a great way to get reconditioned without too much strain on joints. You'll be tired out much to easily for a while, and getting to therapy may feel like too much of a demand, but it'll pay off in a big way, and you'll feel much more like you once you've made some progress. I wish you well on your way back to strength and endurance.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 2:22 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy —

Best of luck with your coming procedure. You'll do great.

You should count your blessings, that you have good insurance, and are in the hands of some of the best doctors in the country. If I recall right, you're at John Hopkins, and that's a pretty dynamic place.

One day at a time, Leroy. Things are looking up for you.

Sent by Laura | 2:28 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

You will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Just remember what I told you my dad said that rings true for me, not only on days that are fraught with conflicting emotions, but every morning I am allowed to wake up:

"Today is my favorite day."

Sent by Teri Thomas | 2:29 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good luck for tomorrow, it must feel weird and wonderful to be almost tumor free. I was wondering how much the Radio Frequency Ablation costs per session?

All the best.

Sent by Chrissie | 2:35 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

As you go into the (hopefully) last tumor zapping procedure, I and all your loyal readers will try in our own ways to be the wind beneath your wings.

I am a catastrophizer, so I really get your worrying about what will happen. How could you not? Yet it does detract from the love and the goodness that today might have to give.

I think it is to some extent a matter of focus and mind control. Refusing to look at what is out of my control and focusing on what is has helped me in the past. I have to talk to myself when my thoughts wander.

Blessings upon you and good luck tomorrow. If someone could let us know how you are, I am sure each of us would appreciate that a lot.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 2:39 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

Along with many others I am cheering for you. May all the "what ifs" vanish from your thoughts today, so that you can feel the positive energy coming your way.

Sent by Merry Marcotte | 2:44 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Mr. Sievers:

Your family has my very best wishes. Thank you for your courage. Godspeed.

Sent by Sarah | 5:18 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

I read your essays every day. My sister has stage 4 breast cancer and reading what you have to say helps me so much. For me reading your essays is like attending a support group. I am very happy for you that you may be cancer free! Beat wishes.

Sent by Karen | 5:20 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and sending my best wishes that the RFA goes well. You are an inspiration to us all!

Sent by Kathy | 5:21 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good luck tomorrow, Leroy! Lots of positive thoughts, energy and prayers are being sent up for you.

Sent by Sondra Scott | 5:22 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

All best wishes for tomorrow and all the NED-licious days to come after! My dad recently passed away after a nine-month battle with pancreatic cancer, and I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to read that your cancer didn't get you. Whether that lasts for one day or ten thousand, I hope you hold on to all the wisdom you've won at such high price.

I am a poet, and have been working on a chapbook centered around our family's walk through that one-way door you describe into the cancer world. Your writing has inspired, healed, and humbled me, and I'm forever grateful to you. The very best of healing, happiness, and unhurried recovery to you and to your family.

Sent by Jess Neiweem | 5:23 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

You are a true hero with a very strong positive energy. Now that my Doctors are not sure how to continue with me, I feel myself becoming slightly weak in the knees as they say. Every morning I wake up to my 2 children and try my hardest to going on like everything is okay and that I don't have chance of leaving them. In the same time that they give me the strength to continue, they make me weak because of the pain they are going through. My daughter is 8 years old and she is very sensitive and loving. My son is 7 and is just starting to understand what is wrong with mommy.

I see people like you and wonder if I am just loser to give up.

I started so strong from the first moment I was diagnosed with cancer. I didn't even cry, I just said ok what do we need to do? Of course once I started treatment and had time to be myself I asked many times why me? Why now?

After now 3 years of up and downs in treatments, surgeries. I don't feel like the same person going into this.

I really hope tomorrow goes well for you and my prayers are with you.

Sent by Nichole | 5:24 PM ET | 03-12-2007

I will send many prayers to you tomorrow. Your essays help me a lot as I struggle with my cancer.

Sent by Terry deBen | 5:25 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Best of luck to you Leroy.

Sent by Jen | 5:26 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Best of luck Leroy! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I found out, through many surgeries, that there is a product they can use that makes taking the tape off go a little more pleasant. Ask if they can try something different.

On the "what if" game...ah, I play that a lot. It used to be that I would analyze worst case. If I can handle that, I can handle what happens.

With cancer, worst case is a paralyzing thought. I start to truck down the "what if" path, stop my self and say "what if it doesn't happen?", "what if I'm OK?". That seems to settle things down.

Like you, I know if the cancer comes back, I'll be sad but I will fight on. Nothing I do today will make that day easier, so I can't waste today worrying about tomorrow. I'll handle it if/when it happens.

Sent by Karen | 5:35 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Good Luck Leroy... My thoughts and prayers are with you... I am NED for one year (breast cancer)...Without your blog I don't know how I would have made it...I just lost a dear friend, Bill, at age 60, a wonderful teacher/mentor to pancreatic cancer after a valiant two year fight. His primary was concern were thoughts of his wife and he'd wished he'd had more time with us. I also just lost it. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Sent by Getty | 5:37 PM ET | 03-12-2007

This little poem came around to me in an e-mail — I send it along to you...

This morning when I awakened

And saw the sun above,

I softly said, "Good morning, Lord!

Bless everyone I love."

Right away I thought of you

And said a loving prayer,

That He would bless you specially,

And keep you free from care.

I thought of all the happiness

A day could hold in store,

I wished it all for you because

No one deserves it more.

I felt so warm and good inside,

My heart was all aglow.

I know God heard my prayers for you,

He hears them all, you know.

Sent by Emile | 6:04 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

In Holland and Belgium, good luck is said with the Dutch word "succes" and indeed, may both words as we mean them be very much in evidence tomorrow and for many, many tomorrows to come!

Sent by Maris | 6:05 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Many of us will be praying for you, your family and your medical team during tomorrow's procedure. You're a blessing to many folks around the world. A bucketful of courage comes your way too.

Sent by Joan | 6:06 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

All the best to you! You are a true inspiration!!

Sent by Kristina | 6:07 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy, the very best of luck to you. I wish you good health and a long life. You are the very bravest person I have never had the chance to meet. Very truly yours —

Sent by Candace | 6:08 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Dear Leroy, Your treatments started just after mine ended. You never seemed to feel defeated, even when the prognosis was not optimistic. The loss of hope is the great enemy of us all. Good luck with your operation, there are a lot of people who will be pulling for you.

Sent by Lee Giler | 6:10 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy, Best wishes for tomorrow and going forward. I've been NED for three years from lung cancer, never having smoked. (It's such a guilty cancer, I have to explain that.) It's okay to be scared — still feel that way in cycles myself. The important thing is that you get up every day and keep plugging away. You go fella. Cheers to you!

Sent by Didi | 6:11 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy,

Good luck tomorrow, well be praying for the best... look out NED, here you come!!!

Sent by Lorraine | 6:12 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Leroy, Have a great day tomorrow and zap those tumors to outer space. Then rest up so when you get the go-ahead, you can charge forward. Getting back in shape after a cancer battle feels wonderful. If it hits again, you'll be that much more in shape to handle it physically. Plus, you're just plain stronger to enjoy everything you want to get back to. Hang in there!

Sent by Martha | 7:27 PM ET | 03-12-2007

Hi Leroy!

You've traveled a mountainous road successfully so far, another tomorrow, then your rehab. Successful because of your strong, positive approach and outlook toward your CA. More than anything else, keep your courage, determination, and positive perspective.

Positive perspective includes being overjoyed with life, enjoying each day to the fullest (even when you hurt like hell), and living ONE DAY AT A TIME. Avoid speculating on the future, e.g. "what if my tumors all come back?", because that's negative thinking and it interferes with your healing. Live in the present — I am OK today — tomorrow will come soon enough. Think Positive thoughts.

Sit outside (best in the sun if Doc allows) or walk, as these give mind, heart, and soul a soothing yet energizing elixir.

I'm in your corner cheering for you tomorrow!. GOOD LUCK and BEST WISHES to be NED!!!!!

(p.s. I live in Wisc.)

Sent by Carol Gurtz | 9:29 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy, as one of your fellow travelers wrote not too long ago... think as you breathe in, I am....and breathe out...at peace. Wonderful mantra that I intend to share with the women in my upcoming retreat.

Patti....don't beat yourself up, you are entitled to good and bad days...but I was honest when I suggested finding a retreat. You deserve it and it will help, I promise! Hugs to you, Nicole, as well...find the support you need.

Blessings to you tomorrow, Leroy....breathe in, breathe out. Piece of cake!

Sent by Karen | 9:30 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy,

Heartfelt good wishes from yet another e-friend. I'm surprised the NPR website hasn't crashed from the number of people who must be writing in to wish you well in this latest chapter!

Sent by Suzie | 9:31 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy,

Sending you blessings, hopes and prayers. You are an inspiration and a "true" warrior.

Sent by Penny | 9:33 AM ET | 03-13-2007

God Bless you and your family. We want you to triumph!

Sent by Michelle | 9:34 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Best Wishes tomorrow and the days after, Leroy! May you have a long and fruitful remission.

Sent by Marilyn | 9:35 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy,

Can't you just feel all this love coming at you? Wrap yourself in this blanket of love and caring. Take it with you tomorrow. We are with you for every step.

Sent by Jordis | 9:41 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Your courage and spirit inspires us all. I have an uncle whom I learned today has lung cancer. I sent him a link to your blog.

Sent by Manny Hernandez | 9:49 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Go Leroy! Enjoy every single moment of being ... yes, cancer-free!

Sent by Nancy O. | 9:51 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Today is your big day. Next Tuesday is mine...I ask my oncologist about this procedure...which I had never heard about until connecting with your blog. Our diagnosis is somewhat similar...so perhaps I might benefit from "blasting" my lung tumors from within. Truly hope your day was a success...and that you get the "all clear."

Sent by Terry O'hara | 9:53 AM ET | 03-13-2007

I haven't been online for a while, but got on tonight specifically to check to see if there was any news from you. This procedure is a step in the process that will allow you to enjoy good health and wellness. You are and will be in my thoughts.

Sent by Cathy Ginsberg | 10:07 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Dear Leroy,

Good luck to you tomorrow. NED to you!! You can then trade cancer treatments in for the gym. Either way you are trying to take care of yourself, and the gym is just so much better. Just a little each day does amazing things for how you feel, all the way around.

And to Patti and Nichole:

The first thing everyone seems to tell a person fighting cancer is how important it is to stay positive. Well, it is important. But it can also be excruciatingly hard to stay positive all the time. It is cancer after all. Its not the lottery or adventure that anyone is hoping for. Don't be hard on yourself if you slip. Let it out, and when you're ready try again. Cancer is hard enough. Writing in a journal, if neuropathy isn't too bad, helps a lot. Just don't lose the book at your favorite writing hang-out.

For me, writing helped a lot. I had no one to talk to because no one around could relate to my situation at all. Leroy's blog has done a tremendous amount to resolve that sense of isolation for me. I discovered some experiences with cancer are universal.

Sent by Lilly T. | 10:22 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Good luck tomorrow. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Hope this one is complication free.

Sent by Chris | 11:08 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy, I am sending these good wishes to you on Monday at 11:00 p.m. I notice you usually write your blog between 5:45-6:30 a.m. I am hoping you just check your comments one last time before heading to the hospital. Thinking good thoughts for you as you go to John Hopkins tomorrow.

Sent by Elizabeth | 11:10 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Like many others, I wish you the best of health, and that the Lord grants that your cancer may be permanently gone.

Sent by Greg Sheryl | 11:11 AM ET | 03-13-2007

NED dreams to you and I, my new friend. I have been following your saga faithfully. I have stage 4 lung cancer and find your blog to be most helpful. I tell my friends to read it if they want to really know what the experience is like. I hope I can someday get RFA (my tumor is too large) so I'm pulling for you in every way possible.

Hugs to you and your family. Best wishes. NED!!!

Sent by Kathy | 11:12 AM ET | 03-13-2007

You'll be in my thoughts—wonderful news that you're about to zap that last tumor! I'm sure the elation about that will help your recovery from the procedure.

Sent by N.R. | 11:13 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy,

My prayers are with you tomorrow for your procedure — that it is successful in removing the final tumor and your recovery is easier, with less pain. Please know how many pray for you and appreciate your willingness to share your journey, which encourages us all.

I am off to my 6 month follow up from my breast cancer treatment, and am amazed at how much better I feel each day. Recovery from all the chemo, surgeries, and invasive procedures is slow but after feeling yucky for almost a full year, the feeling of having increasing strength and energy again (and full movements) is much appreciated. I'm glad you are looking forward to that as you head into this procedure.

NED — I hadn't heard that term before, but will now consider myself NED until someone tells me otherwise. And I'll count my blessings daily. You are one of them!

Sent by Karen | 11:15 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy,

I'll be thinking of you. Good luck.

Sent by Lisa | 11:16 AM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy — thanks you so much for sharing your life with all of us — it is an inspiration — and a revelation. I hope you understand how much you are helping all of us who read your column and especially those of us who write. Your life is a blessing. God be with you and your medical staff today and always.

Sent by Jeri Shaw | 12:59 PM ET | 03-13-2007

Best wishes, Leroy, on tomorrow's procedures. I want to thank you and all the people who post for your wisdom. I have been one of your silent readers as I went through 6.4 weeks of radiation therapy. I have learned so much, lived through so much vicariously, by reading Leroy's columns and the posts that respond to them.

Today was to have been *my* big day -? the last day of treatment, the beginning of a lifetime (hopefully a long lifetime) of scans to make sure that the treatment worked and that I am NED (new term I learned from you today). I gave little presents to my therapists (pottery coffee mugs), and an extra big tip for the valet parking guys with the sweet smiles. But I had a disappointment. One more day of radiation, because last week a therapist made a mistake and lined me up wrong. I had a dose of radiation to my head, and not to my neck. So I need to make up the lost treatment tomorrow. Much more importantly, I have to worry what that treatment gone wrong will do to me down the road. Eleven carefully timed zaps to ... where? The machine thought it was hitting the bed where the surgeon had taken out my thyroid cancer, but it was really striking 11 cm higher. My radiation oncologist, who bravely owned up to the whole thing, assures me that I won't get cataracts or a brain tumor from 1/32nd of a cancer treatment ? but how can he know? It is the first time they have had this happen at our excellent cancer center ? three safety nets fallen through. I guess I am grateful that they take daily lining-up photographs, that they caught the error, and they are honest enough to own up to it. *They* are lucky that I am not the suing kind.

Has anyone else out there in Leroy's cancer community had this sort of thing happen? How did you react? I am still in shock, I guess.

Sent by Genevieve S. Edwards | 1:07 PM ET | 03-13-2007

Leroy — I sure do hope this ablation works out great for you without any hitches. Who knows maybe this will be a great hope for the many of us. Good luck & hope to see your blog tomorrow.

Sent by Dave Snipes | 1:18 PM ET | 03-13-2007

Dear Leroy,

Thanks so much for sharing your many thoughts, which definitely echo mine in so many ways. There seem to be different issues for those of us with Stage IV disease and your blog has encouraged me numerous times.

You are in my prayers today and tomorrow especially.

Sent by Sue Snyder | 1:19 PM ET | 03-13-2007

I told you when you started this blog that these things happen. Being realistic does not mean accepting your imminent death, part of it is understanding that medicine has a lot to offer a cancer patient these days, and who knows?

This is great news!

Sent by Cathy Wilder | 2:44 PM ET | 03-13-2007

I stumbled onto your "My Cancer" journal very late, Leroy...on

February 2, 2007 to be exact, just after a friend of mine had been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. On that day, you spoke of Sharing Strength and how hard it is for friends and family of cancer patients to stand by helplessly...knowing the pain and anguish that lies ahead, before hopefully there will be a diagnosis of NED. I found that days entry so descriptive of my own reaction at the time. I have followed entries each day since then, and want you to know that my prayers and best wishes are with you as you have the last of your Radio Frequency Ablation procedures tomorrow!

Sent by Retha Clark | 3:03 PM ET | 03-13-2007

You go Leroy!

Two years ago today my wife was calling me Golem, in honor of the famous Lord of the Rings character. I was 150 lbs, yellow and had just patches of hair barely clinging to my scalp. I still had four chemo treatments to go. At this very moment I am in between sets on my work out routine. I am a muscular 210 lbs. and my hair is back. Believe you will beat it Leroy. If you can beat this, you can beat anything.

Sent by Bill O'Connor | 5:55 PM ET | 03-14-2007

Like everyone else here, I am wishing you the very best success in both the immediate and long term. I can't help wondering what's the point of learning the lessons cancer teaches us—all this compassion for others (and for ourselves)—if we cant live long enough to practice it, and set examples for others so maybe they wont have to be hit with the Cancer Brick and learn the hard way.

Its good to know we are all here for you, and by both implication and direct evidence, for each other. You've brought us together, Leroy, and while it's a club I wouldn't have volunteered to enter, it's a club of which I'm proud to be a part.

Sent by Ginny Elser | 5:57 PM ET | 03-14-2007

Having a very rare, incurable stem cell (blood) cancer isn't meaningful. Being one person in 500,000 is not distinguishing. It may be even more lonely.

But after listening to your collective experience and talking with several "survivors", I find hope not in a cure, but in the camaraderie of a support group with similar feelings and in improving vitality and meaning of life in my remaining days.

Thank you for your meaningful NPR broadcast - my first! And thanks to all who wear the badges of honor from cancer survival. You are now part of my new life.

Sent by Glen | 11:51 AM ET | 03-15-2007

When you have active cancer, everyday is a big day.

Sent by Liam Kennedy | 1:58 PM ET | 03-16-2007

i realy like thise story i read it at school

Sent by melissa | 10:43 PM ET | 03-21-2007

Hello Mr Sievers, I have an older brother named Leroy...he hates his name and prefers to be called "Lee"....So of course, I call him Leroy :

Sent by Nancy Sims | 3:44 PM ET | 03-24-2007

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Leroy Sievers

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Leroy Sievers in the Ted Koppel Documentary

A Ted Koppel documentary focuses on his friend Leroy Sievers' "My Cancer" blog and the response it evokes.

 
 
 

About 'My Cancer'

My Cancer will be updated Monday through Friday with posts and commentaries from Leroy Sievers. A journalist for more than 25 years, Leroy has worked at CBS News and ABC News, where he was the executive producer at Nightline. You can follow his story through this blog, his weekly podcast and his monthly series on Morning Edition.

 
 

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