An Invitation to 'Talk'

My name is Jenn and I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer at age 37.
As far as your comments on what to do to fight this cancer? I've been trying to figure that out too. Everyone has their opinions, well intentioned mind you, but overwhelming as well. People talk about being positive and fighting this cancer with all i've got. When your body is pumped with chemotherapy drugs and you're given all kinds of other drugs to help with the symptoms, I find it weighs me down emotionally, spiritually and physically. So to then find a positive attitude when your defenses are down? Very challenging. Guided meditation helps me calm down and maybe guided meditation to shrink the cancer or get rid of it would be helpful?
Thank you for your blog, really helps to know i'm not alone out there.

Sent by Jenn | 7:49 AM | 4-10-2007

Oh, man! This damn cancer. I'll be post-chemo on Monday otherwise I'd be down to DC in a flash. I'll be listening ringside though about all our battles.

Sent by Martha | 8:36 AM | 4-10-2007

You asked what we do to fight cancer. I left a low-paying job that I hated, ended an unhealthy relationship, changed my diet, started making art again, and redesigned my life, trying to do what's best for me. And I've been fortunate to be cancer-free for 3 years.

Sent by Larry Benfield | 9:00 AM | 4-10-2007

I wish I could be there.
I fight my cancer by keeping my family and friends positive. Obviously I have to stay positive myself, but helping my family to remain positive is my most important contribution to my recovery. It is also the one that takes the most energy, but returns the most energy to me. Even now, having been clear for so long, I still need to remind them to stay positive. The other just might not "drop", and if it does, we will deal wiht it.

Sent by Brit | 9:16 AM | 4-10-2007

What have I done? What do I do?

I have become active in raising awareness, I have become a volunteer at the American Cancer Society. I reach out to every preson I know who is battling cancer or has a loved one that is fighting the war. I share this blog, I share a book, and I share hope.

For the past 2 years I raised money for BC and the ACS. I am participating in the ACS Relay for Life as a team captain. It may be small, but I believe the little I do will help fight cancer.

As a BC survivor I also have modified my diet. I try to avoid process food, limit dairy and soy. I haven't given up wine because I hear it has antioxidant features! =0)

I live. I hope. I pray.

Sent by Janis | 9:45 AM | 4-10-2007

i would give anything to be at this conversation next monday !!! there is sooooooooooo much to talk about!

Sent by marianne dalton | 9:48 AM | 4-10-2007

Another thought provoking question, Leroy. I think your thoughts could be answered two ways--fighting cancer on a personal level but also responding to cancer as a serious issue facing millions of Americans. Due to my husband's rectal cancer, our family responded collectively in various ways. I think you fight cancer every day with sharing your experiences through this blog. Somehow, I don't think that is what you had in mind with your question, though.

Sent by Andrea Clay | 10:01 AM | 4-10-2007

I wish I knew the magic answer. Just getting out of bed is a start. Being with family and friends and talking and laughing about everyday life. Doing some yardwork - listening to good music -enjoying a good book; anything to take your mind off the cancer. I dream of a day I won't think about it; but becuase of the physical things it has done to me that will never happen. Just finding the strength to go on gives me courage. And don't forget to ask for meds to help on the meltdown days...I refuse to feel guilty about that.

Sent by Mary C. | 10:06 AM | 4-10-2007

Leroy -

I relate with what both you and Jenn are saying. Everyone tells you to "fight" the cancer, but just how, exactly, does one do that? Should we send bad thoughts its way, as you facetiously suggest or imagine the tumor(s) shrinking?

The only thing that I did that felt like a contribution in my battle was the mental imagery I performed when being zapped on the radiation table or while lying in bed after chemo treatments. I imagined the cancer cells dying and being carted away by white-blood cells. Don't know if that helped in any way, but I'm sure it didn't hurt. Other than that, I, too, didn't feel like much of a participant in my "battle" with cancer (other than providing the battlefield upon which the battle took place).

Thanks for raising this issue, Leroy. I think it deserves our close consideration and I'm interested in learning how others dealt with or are dealing with it.

Sent by Adam | 10:22 AM | 4-10-2007

Have been reading your blog for months and find it therapeutic. Wanted to share what I do to fight my cancer. Have been diagnosed with breast cancer last year and went through lumpectomy and radiation. So far so good. Have had an allergic reaction to standard hormone treatment, tamoxifen and have been working on a complementary diet therapy with my doctor's knowledge. Am convinced that a healthy environment for my body's cells may help reduce the risk for reoccurance of cancer. Whatever I eat or drink needs be healthy and current research is uncovering certain foods may have a protective effect against cancer. Have read about your enjoyment of rich foods, but now that you've asked, please consider an option of attacking this battle at the cellular level and put up a fight with each bite!

Sent by Naomi | 10:23 AM | 4-10-2007

I was diagnosed in Feb 2006 with stage 4 lung cancer with mets to bones and given one year prognosis. I did the chemo for 6 months and am now on 2nd line agent Tarceva. What I have done recently is change my diet radically. After reading The China Study, I decided a vegetarian diet is a low cost way to try to beat the cancer or at least make it work harder to beat me. The decision was reinforced by testimonials of several friends who were doing the same thing or know cancer survivors who had done it.
And a spiritual peace helps me keep stress-free which I hope also helps my body fight the cancer.

Sent by John | 10:32 AM | 4-10-2007

While I was going through chemo, radiation and surgery, I just hoped to survive. But since then (for about two years), I have tried to do positive and proactive things for myself, and not just let my body feel like a battleground. I have changed my diet. I have not taken all the pleasure out of eating but, like Laura said a few days ago, I feel that I am doing my body good. I like fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grain bread, red wine, dark chocolate. I walk every day. Again, it gives me pleasure to take my dog for a walk, take step after step, think about things or not, feel myself go stronger. I am also much kinder towards myself and towards other people. All those everyday aggravations seem so unimportant now. Getting angry takes so much energy, it just doesn't seem worth it. It seems so much easier to be kind, to try to understand the other person's perspective. I think there is a lot we can do. The cancer might come back anyway, but our life will be so much more wonderful.

Sent by Liliana | 11:02 AM | 4-10-2007

Leroy,

I don't wish cancer on anyone, and I don't want it, ether. That said, I'd like to share what I think.

While there are things that put us at risk for cancer - genetic anomalies, smoke, asbestos, etc., some people with these risks get it and some don't. The truth is we don't know for sure who is going to be a victim, except in certain rare cases.

Cancer is an unwanted, but entirely natural happening. Cells mutate, grow in a disorderly fashion, and there you are. We catch it in time to do something about it, or we don't. I hear so often, "You've got to fight this thing."

I don't know why we have to do that. It seems easier to let the treatment do its work as long as it can and go on about our business as long as we can.

Cancer doesn't attack us; it happens. We don't like it, but it isn't an enemy. It is a naturally occurring phenomenon that we'd rather not have.

I'd be scared s***less if I got it, but that would be because I didn't know how it was going to go and I'd be right in the face of my own mortality. SCARY stuff.

Cancer is neither my friend nor my enemy. It is a biological happening
that wreaks havoc with the lives we want to lead.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:06 AM | 4-10-2007

My fight with Prostate Cancer is being fought on two fronts.
The medical front is clear cut. My medical team and I focused on the available treatments and chose the best for me.
The other front, the physical/mental front is more wide open. After my Radiation and Brachytherapy operation (3 years ago), I went to The Wellness Community for several of their free programs, Yoga and Tai-Chi. Those programs brought back some of my lost flexibility and strength, so much so that I've done two 1/2 Marathons (the last one in sunny Jamaica).
While doing Yoga I was introduced to Meditation and it's powerful calming effect. My wife also used Meditation last year while preparing for her Breast Cancer operation.
Another Wellness program was one on Poetry, using poetry as therapy. It works! I relieved a lot of my anger and frustration by writing poems. It's been compared to writing a letter to the editor; you usually feel better after writing that letter.
Although the poems were written strictly for me, one of them came to the attention of a dean at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in NJ. The poem was about Doctors and Compassion. She invited me to speak at an annual Transition Program for medical students going from their first two years, book learning, to their next two, clinical work. Each year there are over 150 students along with their families, and the faculty . The theme is humanism in medicine. My talk was a blend of poetry and physician stories, good and bad, from my Support Group members. I've been at that Ceremony two years now, been invited back for this year.
My indirect battle with Cancer, the physical/mental one, is different than the physical one- but it's just as vital!

Sent by Don Winslow | 11:14 AM | 4-10-2007

I have been lucky enough the past 6 months to be part of a study at UNC Chapel Hill about exercise and breast cancer, the goal being to show that moderate exercise post-treatment can help you feel better. The upshot of it for me has been a personal trainer 3 times a week for free! I absolutely hate to exercise, but I knew that it was an important piece in preventing recurrence. This study has turned my attitude about exercise around completely, as I can honestly say that I feel better than I did before I was diagnosed with cancer. And mentally, it feels so good to be doing something to improve my health, as opposed to the feeling of so many things being done to me in the course of my cancer treatment.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 11:20 AM | 4-10-2007

Apropos to the topic, in case you missed them, see the stories of these two courageous people:

Newsweek, April 9 -- Jonathan Alter

US News and World Report, April 9 -- Bernadine Healy

Sent by Emile | 11:20 AM | 4-10-2007

I'd love to hear more details from respondants, especially about changes in diet.

My neurosurgeon and neuro-oncologist both told me to never eat nitrates and nitrites, as they are clearly carcinogenic. So I've made that change.

I've thought about switching to a headset with my cell phone, but I haven't done it yet.

We've always been healthy eaters, working hard to stay away from packaged/highly processed foods. But since my diagnosis I'm buying more organic. I'm eating more fruits and vegetables when I can.

I'm not juicing, which is probably wrong, but juicing combined with my chemo just makes things run a bit too fast, I'm afraid.

Sent by Jordis | 11:34 AM | 4-10-2007

You continue to favor the language of "fighting," and my journey began there, but morphed into something different than fighting along the way. I approached the first two rounds as a kamikaze pilot, arming myself with every shred of detail I could find in the medical library (to the point that when I asked my oncologist if he was going to do a staging laparotomy, splenectomy, liver wedge biopsy, below-the-diaphragm lymph node biosies and bone marrow biopsy, he was taken aback and said, "Please, let ME tell YOU." So I learned first of all, to have a go-for-it-with gusto attitude, learning all I needed to know, but allowing other people key to the process to function in their comfort zone. I learned to laugh and love best the black humor responses from a few friends, as they were the key antidote to too much gloom. I also read books and found that visualization was important in my life to transform the radiation into something healing (not negative in any way) and the same for the chemo chemicals. One sister send me a photo of a flower that one of my stronger drugs was derived from and that helped me visualize the plant as an ally during chemo. Perhaps most important of all, I looked at my life and what I found myself longing most to do before I died, and I started working on those things. I rewrote my memorial service (with poems, music, etc. that I wanted shared), and my will. I credit my husband of that era for hanging in at the end of our disentigrating marriage until I was back on my feet again. And I credit us both with moving on into a form of friendship separate from marriage that gave us back the ability to easily love one another. I feasted on solitude and select friends, was able to keep up with work, and gave back through a cancer support group I'd long volunteered with. Having cancer myself gave me a greater sense of "street cred" in that volunteer role. I moved, and opened up my life in new ways, and had FUN with the docs and nurses, establishing play and drama and relationships. A good friend body-painted my head a la Peter Max when I was bald; others thought my lack of hair was a fashion statement. I felt worn out, but got energy from being playful with hats and wild earrings. There is joy to be found in the damnedest places, as so many of you reveal in your own stories. I still am vigilant, get tests, surgery, radiation, etc. as needed now when cancer arrives anew. I keep meeting remarkable providers, keep loving that they do this work with heart, keep being dazzled by the advances in treatments, and keep my eyes on what I STILL want most to do before I die. I also hold dear to my heart the knowledge that there will come a time (from cancer or something else) when I'll likely have to say "enough is enough." My first oncologist taught me the goal of keeping the treatment for my cancer less onerous than the cancer itself. Years ago I knew I could die happy any time. I still feel that way in general, even as there are still joys left I really hope to experience. But my relationship with cancer is no longer a fight. I try to support my life so much with joy that it is strengthened. And when cancer shows up, I understand in some cases that it is secondary to the treatments that saved me the first time 21 years ago. And I also recognize it as a "booster shot" of sorts reminding me to not forget to love every day with a passion. I try to let each cancer know I am doing my best to hear what it has to teach me and incorporate it in my life so it does not feel a need to keep reminding me. Yes, symbolic language, and maybe magical thinking, but it helps me get the most benefit I can find out of each new trip into C land. I've had four bona fide journeys and lots of other biopsies and scary blood counts. I think the journey in the end, and the joys along the way, are immense payoff enough for me. I do not want to fight anymore. At 52 I want passion, engagement, and intensity, but not a battle royal. At least in my life, cancer has been a gateway to greater learning and much clearer sense of being present and fully inhabiting my life. And of giving back to the larger cause by 1:1 support or by donating money and time. Wars take energy. I want that energy back for putting love into action. Like the title of that book, "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," I think this is one of many roads we can consider as we face cancer. And I think each one of us can custom-tailor all approaches to fit their lives, spirits, and needs. In the end, being TRUE to ourselves is as strong a response to cancer as one can offer, whether that means becoming vegan, or writing an ethical will, or going full bore into combat against the mutant cells... we've got choice in how we FRAME the experience of cancer, and how we respond with our whole selves to that experience.

Sent by Sarah | 11:43 AM | 4-10-2007

Yes, the spirituality and attitude play a huge role in the "survivor mode" but as my mother always told me, "it's up to us to do our part as well". Our part is to exercise, eat well balanced meals(as best we can)and rest. When I was diagnosed 3 years ago, I continued to keep up some semblance of an exercise routine, albeit much less in intensity, but exercise nonetheless! Leroy, you've said it too recently, that you're starting to work out again. It's huge! Even if you get out for a walk for a few minutes a day, the payoffs in terms of strength and endurance are phenomenal. Recently, I've added 'Stott Pilates' to the regime. It helps with core strength and breathing. This really helps me to feel strong, focused and ready for the next round of chemo, a bit like having control of the uncontrollable. Check out www.stottpilates.com.
I wish I could be in Washington next week...maybe we can plan something else for our little blog family.
Lorraine Powell

Sent by Lorraine Powell | 12:47 PM | 4-10-2007

Janis-
God Bless you, but the ACS Relay stuff isn't as important as Breast Cancer Action's work, or the Enviormental Working Group's carcinogen origins work. The ACS is more marketing and big money, than BCA. Not much really goes to women who need financial help IMHO from all the walking events.

Check out the Think Before You Pink campain on the Breast Cancer Action site, and 'The Body of Evidence' Enviornmental Factors Report too.

The Enviornmental Working Group has linked a bunch of stuff in plastics, food sources (pesticides, hormones, additives), water, etc... to cancer. These guys are doing the FDA's job.

Speaking from someone who's been there, there are a lot of marketing gimmicks taking advantage of us Cancer folks.

Sent by Laura | 1:03 PM | 4-10-2007

Just this morning, before reading your blog, here's what I did to fight cancer:

1) I had a cup of green tea with a bowl of the "healthy, anti-oxidant-filled" kind of cereal topped by strawberries and banana and nonfat milk.

3) I went online to the Susan G. Komen website to check on donations to my team in the May 12th 5K Race for the Cure here in Sacramento. I now have 19 team members and a little over $1500. raised! The race will be 8 days after my last chemo. I will finish 17 months of treatment for breast cancer on MAy 4th.

3) I had a long talk with my oncologist on the phone regarding my letter to her in which I had strongly requested an MRI of my remaining breast rather than a mammogram. I had sent her copies of all the recent research saying MRI's are preferable for women who are breast cancer survivors, and in our discussion, continued to be assertive and calm rather than backing down in the face of her report of a Kaiser committee's negative decision on the matter. My surgeon had told me the mammogram 2 years ago failed to find my Stage III cancer because of my "dense breast tissue" -- and now they want me to rely on a mammmogram again?!? Anyway, my point is that one way I fight cancer is by refusing to lie back and be a passive victim.It's a little scary to risk offending my doctor, but nowadays I speak up and I keep myself very well informed.

4) I showered and put on my workout clothes. Three or four mornings a week, I go by a nearby fitness club on the way to my job for a 30-minute workout, trying to get my muscles firm and regain lost strength so I can lead an active life.

Someone made the point that cancer is not an Enemy or Monster, but just a natural process. I don't really think of it as an enemy in a huge battle, either, but I do want to do everything I can to extend my life as long as possible and feel healthy.

I'll be listening to you on Friday, Leroy.

Sent by Doris | 1:44 PM | 4-10-2007

Stay positive.

Be happy.

Enjoy every minute.

Laugh with family and friends.

Meditate, cogitate, levitate----if it makes you happy, do it.

Sent by David Larsen | 1:51 PM | 4-10-2007

Leroy,

I was diagnosed with stage 2, triple negative breast cancer in July 2006. All during the chemo, surgery, and radiation the one thing that kept me going was laughter. (Thank God for family and friends.) I know that there are days that laughter is probably the last thing anyone wants to think about, but it worked for me. I think you have to keep your mental outlook good and that will carry your body along through the abuse it has to take. There were days (usually a week) right after chemo that my laughter was at myself. I would feel terrible and would get so down. That is when the self induced pep talk would start up. The next thing I know I would be laughing at myself.

I have also started eating better and I make sure I walk everyday. I would walk the first two days after chemo because I knew the next three would be really bad. Before cancer I was always outside since I live on a farm. The animals helped me on the bad days also. Just to go out and visit with the horses did me so much good.

I had wonderful doctors and nurses at KU Med Center and I just let them worry about the treatments they were going to put me through. I didn't want to stress about that since I needed to worry about keeping a good attitude.

And you know, if you have that fight factor in you, it really helps. I know I was told to keep on fighting and you know, I'm not about to stop.

Sent by Laurie | 3:39 PM | 4-10-2007

Many people don't know their hereditary risks and what that means. When cancer runs in a family, I heard the younger people should get checked when they are ten years younger than the onset of the disease in older family members. Prevention is everything. People are not asking the right questions. Prevention is everything.

Sent by Caregiver | 4:21 PM | 4-10-2007

For myself, watching my diet and making sure of the obvious, that is, that I get lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, is very important. There are some things in that category that research shows may be more valuable than others like blueberries and tomatoes, cruceriferous vegs such as brocoli and cauliflower, green tea, etc. I also like to do research on which herbs may help boost the immune system so it is at 100%: there are some that reseach is showing make us stronger and better able to fight. You have to do good research and check sources, because tons of money is made by companies without ethics who sell supplements making false claims.
Dealing with negative situations at work and home in a healthy manner is important so you are not carrying anger/resentment around on a daily basis. Meditation, and prayer are important for me personally to stay positive and optomistic. In general these things can help you to feel more in control: and a feeling of being in control is shown to be helpful for those undergoing treatment for cancer.

On a different level helping to facilatate the move toward health insurance for EVERYONE, so that all people can practice preventative health care, is terribly important. Way too many people present themselves to doctors or clinics with Stage Four cancers because they do not have health insurance, nor the money to go see a doctor when that first set of symptoms appears. What a preventable tragedy. On this same level, we really need to advocate for more money to fund clinical trails and research. This is a terribly underfunded area.

Thanks for the chance to speak ! Nancy

Sent by nancy O | 5:18 PM | 4-10-2007

Get "in line" and get back on "the ride" focus on what's in front of you...our past has it's victores and losses... you have taught me many things... and this is one of them.

much Love,
Richard Wlliams
Marysville, Ca

Sent by Richard Williams | 6:16 PM | 4-10-2007

Oh, boy, Leroy, you just hit one of my hot buttons. And I'm sorry I can't be in DC to talk about it in person.

I really, really hate the "fight your cancer" mantra. Almost as much as I really, really hate the obituaries that inevitably include "lost her courageous battle with cancer." Everyone I know has sworn on whatever they hold holy to never apply that phrase to me.

Okay, maybe all the imagery and meditation provide some people with a comforting sense of empowerment and control. And no one can argue against making positive changes in diet or lifestyle. If you have cancer, you just have to take whatever approach works for you. But I am not in a battle - I am the battlefield. The ammo is my oncologist's knowledge, my own knowledge, and the drugs and other treatments that are availble. Someone else commented that we are biological entities and therefore subject to the whims of biology, and I have to agree. Oh how I wish that all we had to do to be forever cancer-free, and fear-free, was to eat right and visualize slain cancer cells. Some people think that if you don't use battlefield language with cancer, you're either in denial or not engaged or you've given up. But if you've decided on surgery or radiation or chemo, you know damned well you are not passive - you've opted for treatments that expose human biology in all its wonders and horrors. I do not want to fight anything - I just want to live my life the best I can.

Sent by Marcia | 6:19 PM | 4-10-2007

On my way to my chemo treatment today I started the silent conversations with my physician. The topic of your essay (I hadn't read it yet) was my topic. Am I actually doing anything to help myself? Should I? It's a new chemo, it's working, and I have this conversation with myself and ultimately my doctor whenever we change treatment. He always tells me to do whatever I feel like doing and just don't lose any weight. (What a nightmare to me who is 100 pounds overweight - to think my obesity is key to staying alive). I still don't have the answer to the question. I tend to believe my attitude is key. Although teaching wears me down to bone weary at the end of the day I think that also keeps me alive. I want to be able to sincerely tell the people who ask how I am that I am doing well. I am sincerely glad your MRI reading was corrected too Leroy. I look forward to hearing you on the NPR broadcast.

Sent by Cheryl | 7:40 PM | 4-10-2007

"Fight". That word implies a force of will. Diet, exercise, positive thinking, chemo, those are responsible duties you perform because you have to. They seem as abstract and divorced from yourself, your personal heroic will as the abstraction that is your cancer. What is it you're fighting, exactly? Death, no? You're not fighting "cancer", you're fighting death. So the answer seems obvious. You fight death by living. Mind you, very few people really know how to do this, especially in the U.S. I don't have the strength to enumerate all the escapist pitfalls of American culture, but buddy, you're smack in the middle of the biggest deadening zone in the history of civilization. You want a fight? Resist your entrenched, humanity killing culture of running away. Own yourself. Be terrified. Smell stuff. Confess. Run a feather over your tushy. Even you - an intelligent, creative, contributing person - are not yet a fully realized human being. As long as you are here, there is always more of you to discover and embrace and you weed that stuff out by diving into experience. Depth of experience is one of the most elusive challenges there is. The truth is we can die at any moment, for any reason or none at all, and unfortunately many of us will live poorly, without much feeling or integrity and that is the deep and real tragedy. Really fighting death is not about staying alive. It has something to do with conquering fear and being fully aware of the world itself and it's a different, individually defined hurdle every day. I've been playing the piano since the age of 4 and fear of getting it wrong constantly diminishes my expression and opinion. Every day when I sit down to play, I fight death by thinking "This may be the last thing you ever say, so speak!" Living well is a fight a cancer patient, and any average Joe can get their will dug into.

Sent by Deborah Ayer | 7:42 PM | 4-10-2007

Ladies (& Gents too) Please do check out the Breast Cancer Action and Enviornmental Report (their website), and The Enviornmental Working Group.

All those Race For A Cure events, is marketing. Not much goes to research. Most of it pays for the non-profit, and many of their top people make way to much dough, and its the victims that lose out. How long have they been 'racing for a cure?'

BTW, the same chemical firms that are making us toxic, are part of the pharma firms, sister firms. I researched this. I am an Accountant.

Sent by Laura | 9:10 PM | 4-10-2007

Leroy ~ I'll be there in the audience next Monday. I live just outside Washington, D.C. and would love to meet you in person. Although I've only been reading your blog and comments by your other readers for a short time, you have become my hero.

I, too, like a number of other readers, have turned to a healthier diet. Lots more fruits and vegetables and less meat. My one pitfall, though, is sugar, specifically chocolate. And I know anyone with cancer should avoid sugar at all costs. Why, then, do I have such a terrible time doing it? Am I feeling sorry for myself and indulging in a little self-pity?

On another note, a friend told me that you, Lance Armstrong, and Ted Koppel will be doing a Life with Cancer program on the Discovery Health channel. I personally have not seen anything on this. Is it true? What are the details?

Sent by Geneva | 9:37 PM | 4-10-2007

Within many of the issues that are raised are 4 basic issues that all humans share just by the fact of being alive. I think that a dx has had the effect of making such issues much clearer and of a greater importance to myself.

1. Death anxiety - particularly relevant to people with a cancer dx or alife threatening illness - such a dx is sometimes referred to as a "boundary experience". This means a time when we can become very aware of our own frailty and mortality.
2. Meaning - what meaning do we have in our lives? This is rather like the topic you mentioned yesterday when you asked about what you will be when you grow up.
3. Isolation - that we come in to the world alone and that we leave alone...an isolation beyond that felt as being separate from others. I have felt a strong sense of isolation at times since my dx. perhaps it's only in my own sense of reality, but it is how I feel based on feeling rather different to many of the people around me.
4. Responsibility - Today's topic - This is about personal responsibility...not blaming yourself for everything that has ever gone wrong and using it as a stick to beat yourself. More seeing that you have a hand in much of what goes on in your life and as such you have power and control to make changes. Some things cannot be changed, some things are inevitable and then perhaps the only thing that can be changed is ourself and our attitudes towards such things.

I cannot take any credit for these insights as they belong to Dr Irvin Yalom, a US psychotherapist.

Sent by JJ | 2:58 AM | 4-11-2007

Hey Leroy, Great Blog. I've beean following your fight almost from the beginning, right after my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August 2006. Your always in my prayers. Wish we were in the Washington DC area as I'd love to meet you in person! I'll mark my calendar and hope that my husband and I can tune in at least. Thanks for being there for all of us Leroy! God Bless!! If your ever going to be in the Kansas City or St Louis area let us know!!

Sent by Toni | 8:15 AM | 4-11-2007

When my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago I thought the things she did to fight it were the most inspirational and amazing things I have ever seen. She researched everything. She created a post-chemo diet that was easy to handle and exceptionally nutritious based upon a book she read about chemo diets. She pulled friends in from all over to help her with food the day or two following each treatment and cooked and stored dishes to reheat. Her freinds were a huge thing for her. She relied on us as little or much as she needed throughout it but we were not only there to fetch and carry and prepare food, but for our love for her - for distraction or just quiet time for her - or to water her plants or make ice tea. She joined a support group that helped immensely and gave her more info on how best to get through it. She made new lasting friends through that group. She began a personal chemo work out program to stay strong physically. She stayed positive and began meditating. She stayed close to the people at her temple. She worked as much as she could. She knew every single thing the doctors were considering and researched each treatment, drug, and therapy. She changed our lives with her inspirational and successful trip through that very scary land. She took control and fought it with grace and humor and practicality. I think there is so much you can do and wish you strength to create your own army of friends and consultants and strategies. God bless you...

Sent by Michael Case | 12:52 PM | 4-11-2007

Leroy,
I hope you will be able to discuss some of the preventions against cancer such as the HPV vaccine for cervical cancer. Maybe there will be a mom or dad listening who will hear that they can protect their daughter from cervical cancer instead of thinking that by giving the vaccine they are encouraging promiscuous behavior. I bet that if you asked any parent,"There is a vaccine to prevent cancer, do you want your daughter to receive it?" The answer would be a resounding yes. Maybe we can help parents make good decisions that will prevent having to fight the fight. Thanks and good luck.

Sent by Gayle | 10:48 PM | 4-11-2007

Aloha, Leroy,
No that doesn't mean that it's time for mai tais! I heard about your blog from my sister, who lives in Hawai'i, and who is in treatment for gall bladder cancer---an "exotic" cancer, as she calls it. I am a breast cancer survivor of ten years. She found some study that said that relatives of breast cancer survivors are more likely to get gall bladder cancer. Surely hope I didn't "give it" to her! Anyway, I am writing to say that, since I no longer live in Hawai'i, but in Northern Virginia, I will be lucky enough to join you tomorrow, Monday, April 16, at NPR. I surely look forward to the conversation. See you tomorrow! Aloha, Gini

Sent by Gini Moore | 11:04 AM | 4-15-2007

Wow. There is no ONE answer, is there? From the instant that I learned of the cancer in my body to....now....I have done many things. Almost superstitious at times, the hopes with which we imbue certain things, behaviours. Whatever the result, e.g. whether it gives me more time to live, whenever I feel better NOW, well that's good. Now I am fund raising for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society thru its Team in Training. I am so glad to be able to do this. After the event (Lake Tahoe bike ride), I will do more yoga. I did yoga thruout 6 months of chemo (4 days in hospital every 21 days), and 21 days of stem cell transplant, and almost every day since then (Feb 2006). And spend the summer with my family. That's as far ahead as I plan. Overall I can say that if one had any doubts 'before' (cancer) about 'what is the most important thing', facing cancer helps you know. It helps you focus your life, your energy. Weird, huh?

Sent by Kaye | 11:25 AM | 4-15-2007

Dear Leroy,
I have been following your blog since it began. I lost my mother to cancer last year. It has been helpful to me to hear your thoughts and experiences, thank you for sharing them. As far what you can do? Some believe in the brains ability to heal yourself from disease thru changed thought process. The book "You can heal your life" by Louise L Hay. I am not sure if I believe in it or not but would be interested in hearing others experiences to see if it proves to be true.

Sent by Samantha Roberts | 1:27 PM | 4-16-2007

As a 25 yr survivor of non-hodgkins lymphoma (and later vulvar sarcoma and now dealing with breast cancer)I think I can comment clearly on what I DO. I am persistently questioning anything proposed as a given, and mindful that my body is not some static unit of numbers which qualify me as well or cancerous. I have the capacity to change the internal environment of my body, and to engage with the external world in ways that foster my ability to breathe deeply and with love. Change, though tough, has accompanied every step of my life. Embracing the new opportunities change has allowed makes it all go more smoothly, and leads this non religious woman to a deep place of faith.

I was a child, 19, for the first round. I had no say in the choices made to rescue me from a massive, lifethreatening tumor. I was a guinea pig who paved the way for others with my brand, and those receiving chemo now will not suffer huge doses given over short time, and hopefully they will neither suffer from cardiomyopathy, fibrosed thoracic veins and osteopenia before their time, as a small payback for surviving the initial disease.

Ironically, these late effects have made traditional treatment now nonsensical, reasonably impossible for me now. It was with great deep breaths and a serious alignment of my mind with my soul that I opted for partial mastectomy only, in the face of the vast array of anticancer arsenal recommended. This battered survivor body could take no more toxin in the forms of radiation, chemo or even surgery.

So my meditation is for balance on all levels, my visualization one of creating a peaceful (not panicked) playground of wellness inside, a body that knows well how to detox and process the herbs I love for their gentle straightforward energy, a kindness toward myself as I release the emotional patterns and habits that block, and to find meaning in the simple moment to moment beauty around me.

My path makes my surgical oncologist uncomfortable, her only role being an every-three-months breast exam, but she cannot deny the change for the better in my skin color, my gums, the light in my eyes. I have stepped away from the numbers-counting games of traditional protocol, only because those protocols themselves reached maximal useful levels. I am a guinea pig again, but this time for the hoistic side. I am the driver. And this time it's ok, because in the 25 years since my first success with cancer, I have become a master of knowing all I can about how I work, and how critical it is for me to honor and take on the role of patient, attendant listener to my inner voice. I did not choose this, but it is my lot. And in accepting it, I have found resilience and drive and peace and faith coexisting.

for any who seek responsible, scientifically based info on supportive and intergrative approaches for their cancer, please visit http://www.breastcancerchoices.org
If anything is keeping me alive now, the cutting edge info there is.

Sent by Katrina B Crie | 7:01 PM | 4-22-2007

I was diagnosed 2/06 with colon cancer. Surgeon, just before releasing me from hospital,and with pathology report in hand, told me that it was STage 2. Six days later, at Oncologist's office, I found out that it is actually Stage 3. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Survival rate drops from 80-85 % to 45-50% from a 2 to a 3. Confronted surgeon on my post-op visit. He gave me a slimy smile and said,"so what, it's still treatable isn't it"? My oncologist did not confront him, saying that Dr.'s don't confont each other. I have not yet gotten over this incident. My point in all this is that, in my opinion, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to find Dr.'s we can trust and in whom we have confidence. Problem is, now I have no confidence in my oncologist or any other medical person. The "Medical Mafia" seems to be more important than the individual patient. I have finished 6 mos. of chemo (Xeloda) and am now doing the every 3 mos. visits. I wish I could be more optimistic, but I know too much about staging and 5 year survival rates. If I had been given the correct info to begin with, I would have accepted it and gone on with the appropriate treatment. To leave the hospital thinking I had much better odds than I really have really affected me and my thinking about the medical community. It would be so nice to be able to rely on my Dr. to do the right thing in terms of my care; that more than anything else, be it diet, faith, exercise or whatever is what puts a cancer patient's mind at ease. I can't change Dr.s because of my Insurance. Any thoughts on this?

Sent by Toni Adamatis | 12:46 PM | 4-23-2007