Good News and a Trip to the Bakery
“When [my doctor and I] finally hung up, I sort of deflated, let out a long breath and just sat there for a little while. One more hurdle crossed.”
The following essay is from the NPR My Cancer weekly podcast:
The phone rang about 9 on Friday morning. At least I thought it did. I was in the shower and didn't get to it in time. There was no message on the machine. Maybe I just imagined it. I was waiting for the call from my oncologist with the results of my brain scan. But 9 a.m. seemed too early for the results to be in. Did that mean good news? It was so clean it took them no time to read it? Or was it bad news, a new tumor so large it was obvious? Or was it just a wrong number?
For the previous 24 hours, I had been playing the usual games with myself, trying to get ready for bad news. This latest scan was especially important. There had been some controversy over the previous one. The initial read had been a new tumor. But after a more detailed look, my doctors said no tumor. Thursday's scan was supposed to settle the issue once and for all ... at least for now.
Finally, about 11 a.m., my oncologist called. I have to admit, my heart started racing. He's very good; he says hello and then gives me the answer. This time, everything was clean. He said he had made sure the radiologists were extra thorough, so there would be no confusion.
I think you get a little giddy when you get good news. At least I do.
When we finally hung up, I sort of deflated, let out a long breath and just sat there for a little while. One more hurdle crossed. I know I'm not completely in the clear. I'm not cured. I'm pretty certain there's cancer hiding somewhere in my body. But so far, we haven't found it.
When I was first diagnosed a year and a half ago, my doctors said they wanted to buy me time. As much time as they could. I think they've succeeded in that. Each clean scan means a little more time free from the disease. Time I never thought I'd have. So I think I may go out and treat myself to something. I mean, it's important to celebrate good news, right? Usually with something chocolate? Of course, I say the same thing about bad news, then I need a treat to make myself feel better.
But today, that treat is going to be extra sweet. Oh yeah, my next scan is already set: June 6. Probably a full-body scan. But there's lots of time between now and then. I'm heading to the bakery.
6:19 AM ET | 04-30-2007 | permalink
