I hear this from a lot of my patients...'what was important before I was diagnosed'...because afterwards, they focus on the disease, treatments, side effects, and trying to 'do' as much as they can with their loved ones, etc.

Leroy, i'm sure your life was full to the brim of work, play, pleasure, and pain--before and during these past few months battling this disease.

I always tell my patients, never let cancer define who you are... you are never the disease... you are who you were before...only stronger..both mentally, and physically (although the later might not seem true). You have a lot of people to teach...both in the medical and nonmedical field.

What I've also learned from my patients, is to let go of the 'little things' in life that sometimes get in the way. Reality hits hard, and that in itself, gives you a brand new perspective on the 'bigger things'.

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 7:57 AM ET | 04-05-2007

Dear Leroy:
Your essay today touched me deeply because I have often reminded people of a scene in the play "Our Town".
The main character, Emily, recently deceased, gets to go back and observe a day in her life. She ends up crying because she sees everyone in her family going about their business during breakfast time, and her lament that no one truly looked at one another has stayed with me always. I don't always remember to, but I try very hard to be extra aware of random moments and those around me sharing it. I try to be "in the moment" and not thinking ahead about what I need to do next. Having been treated for cancer has made me even more aware of noticing moments. I don't claim to do this daily or often, but I do it and that is what is important to me.

Sent by Harriet | 8:31 AM ET | 04-05-2007

B.C., before cancer. It's like a date stamped in our lives. In some strange ways my life is much better now than before cancer became part of my everyday thoughts. My priorities have changed greatly. What seemed so important then, now for may things is insignificant. My relationship with my wife and children has never been better and how we communicate our love to each other is now direct. Yes, the uncertainty and worry remain, I try not to let it turn into fear. For me the B.C. date is now 2 1/2 years ago, each and every day seem like a gift. A gift from whom or where I'm still not sure, but I appreciate every second much more than at any time in my life.....Fight the Good Fight!!

Sent by David Grimmius | 9:07 AM ET | 04-05-2007

I am not naive when it comes to what the possible outcomes of having cancer are. However it seems lately that there is to much talk about the inevitable deadly outcome that will happen sooner or later. I know people who have been cancer free for decades. (I like the sound of that word "decades") Cancer can be beat and I realize that being realistic is definitely necessary but having hope and being positive and not giving up is what allows goods things to happen in life. Maybe I know about the reality but my mind wants a rest from that knowledge and I need to hear from others that winning is possible. There is a fine line between having cancer and being realistic and knowing that a cure is possible and life can go on, maybe not exactly the same way but on days when I have big gaps of time when I do not think about it my life is normal. I like those times. I don't want to be reminded, I get nervous when I am reminded.

Sent by Anthony Sorce | 9:36 AM ET | 04-05-2007

Leroy,

Could it be that cancer both robs us of our innocence about the real nature of life and gives us a new awareness of its preciousness? That is how it has felt to me when unwanted things have happened to me. I miss the "old" life and, if I'm not too flattened by what has happened, try to find the lesson in what is new. I don't seem to learn as much from the joys of life (although I prefer them)as I do from the painful stuff. In any event. cancer is one of those pivotal events that send you down another road, like it or not.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 9:54 AM ET | 04-05-2007

i agree with diana ! B.C.- as my husband and i were floating in our pool on one of the most gorgeous days of last summer ; we were in a conversation of how lucky the two of us were at this point in our lives....kids almost gone and off the "payroll", our parents still in good health for their ages , our dear friends , having health issues but here we were feeling so fortunate about the path that our lives were on...and we actually commented on, how at this point in our lives that our health was THE most important item to both of us!neither one of us smokes,drinks , we are physically active every single day.we eat healthy..and then less than a week later we are hit with a BOMB.wondering ..what now, where do we fit into this whole cancer picture...what did we do wrong...less than a year has gone by ...i have "let go" of those questions. i can't say that i regret anything i did BC... there is a reason that i was dealt the cancer card,but we still haven't figured that one out yet!...no time to look back...and so little time to go forward.

Sent by marianne dalton | 10:23 AM ET | 04-05-2007

When I read your words, "What did I worry about?" (before cancer), I laughed out loud. Just yesterday, I came across an article I wrote that was published twenty years ago in the Houston Post called "When Life Isn't a Rose Garden." It was about the period leading up to my husband's job loss and subsequent year-long unemployment. We were under a lot of stress,just waiting for the inevitable doom to descend, as were many others in that community. Due to the steep decline in oil prices, many who worked in the oil industry were affected. However -- in the years since then, twoclose family members have struggled with mental illnesses and another with addiction. And of course, I've spent the past year and a half fighting cancer. Looking back, it seems almost quaint -- naive, melodramatic or just plain dumb! - to have worried so much about something that seems so trivial to me now.

Sent by Doris | 11:02 AM ET | 04-05-2007

My cancer experience clearly marks life 'before' and life 'ongoing'. It has been seven years, with two primary cancers, one of them now chronic. I have not returned to the work world. My family doesn't plan ahead more than two weeks (as one of us commented a few days back).

What I see about my life before, and in the lives of my friends, is a need to fill up the time with over-commitment, over-planning, multi-tasking. The illusion of control and indespensibility masks what our bodies are telling us, until they scream louder.

I have learned to appreciate that 'less is more', being intent upon one thing at a time, moving with my breath rather than panting to keep up with myself.

Thank you for triggering this reflection. We have all the time we need.

Sent by Joan Schatz | 11:17 AM ET | 04-05-2007

B.C., doesn't seem that long ago but still a change of everything I took for granted. The things I worry about now are always peppered with a grain of salt. Is this really important in the grand scheme of things, and usually it's not. It's important that we take care of each other. It's important to enjoy the simple things. It's important to take a deep breath and appreciate the world and people around us. For me,it's important to remember the time when I was under treatment when all these other things were threatend.

The day BC, I was just back from vacation, doing mounds of laundry, starting a colonoscopy prep,getting my children ready to go back to school, paying the bills and making the incorrect assumption the gynecologist didn't really feel anything. The DA, I was in an operating room. I was a patient under treatment.

I never want to be in that position again, but I may. In the in-between time, I want to say I've used my life well and wisely.

Sent by Chris | 11:43 AM ET | 04-05-2007

And life goes on after cancer, too. Last night I had the honor of participating in the birth of my first grandchild. What an experience. And to think that 6 months ago I really doubted that I would even meet him. What a precious moment for me, my daughter and her newborn son.

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 1:35 PM ET | 04-05-2007

Leroy,

In my six months BC I had plenty of symptoms and I saw my doctor several times. My symptoms were dismissed with advice to change my diet and lose weight. I did and my symptoms just got worse. I was miserable but determined to continue life as usual. Like you I had outward symptoms that friends and family noticed but said nothing about. I no longer enjoyed my day-to-day BC life. Finally to be diagnosed with cancer, know why I was miserable, and what needed to be done to fix it was a relief.

During the months I was unable to work I took a close look at what was really important to me. I took note of who was a part of that time and who disappeared from my life. Cancer actually caused me to make some significant positive life changes. My AC life as a survivor is so much better than BC.

Sent by Joan Marie | 2:08 PM ET | 04-05-2007

It's such a shame that it takes cancer for many of us to have the revelations that have been documented here. When I think of life when I was much younger, it seems as though the pace was much slower then. Kids didn't make "play dates"...they rounded one another up and just went out and played. Kids weren't being taken to every possible sports activity, lesson or club under the sun by their parents every day, and we sat down and ate meals together. Of course, our society has changed greatly, and much of the change of pace has to do with having both parents working in many families. I've noticed it in traffic, too. Here in the northeast, traffic can be so cut throat that it seems sometimes that people are being carjacked or forced to drive getaway cars!
So...you get cancer. All bets are off about continuing the life that you took for granted before. Part of our self-defense mechanism is to strive to regain a sense of control over our lives. Having our days so driven by doctor and treatment and test apts and perhaps not being physically able to do what was normal daily activity before cancer is frustrating and can be depressing as well. I love the fact that doctor apts are much less often now, tests are mostly twice a year, and spring is hippity hopping closer, and I can smell the spring flowers and see the river run full.
Stephanie, congratulations on meeting that little soul that arrived last night to fill your heart with hope. I'm so happy for you and your family.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 2:53 PM ET | 04-05-2007

" the things I worry about now are always peppered with salt" -- now that is a phrase to remember. Leroy- store that one- it's good.

Re the ALS Frontline special, I was glued to the tv as my father died from ALS 18 years ago. He died within 2 months because he was a smoker and went fast. To see what that family went through was inspiring. So much love and dedication from the family and optimism from the patient.

Leroy- you inspire all of us I suggest you start your Cancer Guidebook now- you never know how much time you have- noneed to tiptoe around any of your issues. I truly appreciate you.

Sent by Linda Hilsen | 10:43 PM ET | 04-05-2007

I have waited for the day to come where I couldn't conceive of life before my son's cancer diagnosis. I figured that it would mean I had come to accept the "new normal", and perhaps wouldn't struggle with moments of incredible rage and sadness when hints of our formal life showed themselves. It's been almost a year and it hasn't come yet, although the moments are fewer and far between where I think about those days and moments leading to the change. I wonder if the past will ever sit quietly in the corner and leave us to our present.

http://vampdaddy.blogspot.com

Sent by Vampdaddy | 11:19 PM ET | 04-05-2007

BC I used to think about tomorrows that were 10 or even 20 years down the road. AC I am only comfortable thinking about a 6 to 12 month future, my prognosis for a stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma. I have already lived a year and a half since the diagnosis, and I am slowly beginning to extend my psychological horizons. But the underlying truth is something that I think all cancer survivors learn quickly: that each day is precious and the future is unknown. This was also true BC, of course, but the lesson seems more poignant now.

Sent by Andy Halpern | 8:52 AM ET | 04-06-2007

Leroy,
It is human nature to look back and wonder what filled our days before a life-changing event. I remember doing it as a college student looking back on how easy I had it in high school. Then again when I began a career, looking back on the simple life of a college student. Once again, it happened when my husband and I added children to our family. I laugh at how much spare time I had when all I had to juggle was work and my personal liesure time. I now realize the key is to enjoy the moment - no matter how busy or hard you think your life is and not spend your energies longing for an easier time. Now if only I can practice what I preach...

Sent by Ellie Boylan | 11:59 AM ET | 04-06-2007

Hi,
Today I discussed the results of my recent PET/CT scan with my oncologist, Dr. Slater. As you know back in the fall of 2005 I had cancer in my breast, lung, hip bone, and liver. I've been on chemotherapy and herceptin for most of the time since then. This week's scan shows 2 small tumors on my lungs that seem to have gotten slightly bigger since the last scan which was 6 months ago. The left breast has some small activity on both the outside and the inside. But there doesn't appear to be any cancer in my liver or bone. My tumor marker CA 27-29 is still low at 14; it was 200 when I was diagnosed. So, I think for the most part, it is good news.

Dr. Slater wants to stay on top of the cancer of course, so I will have a simple mastectomy sometime in the next two weeks; I have an appointment with the surgeon on Monday. And in two weeks I will start a new chemotherapy(Xyloda) and a new HER2 agent called Tykerb. Dr. Slater is very excited about the research on these medications. Also, they are both oral medications, so no more IV's for awhile! I can take them at home. And they are said to have fewer side effects than the ones I have been on.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. Your support means a lot to me; it keeps me going through what seems like a long bumpy road.

Warmest regards,
Cindy

Sent by Cindy H. | 9:20 PM ET | 04-06-2007

To find "Cires" for cancer, our medical and political establishments whould focus on the cause. Our nation pours, sprays, and dumps over 70,000 chemical toxins into the environment. According to preventive medical professionals like Dr. Gabriel Cousens of the Tree of Life Foundation, and Dr. Michael Greger of Cornell, there are many ways to decrease the risk of cancer(and MOST other degenerative diseases)by adopting an organic plant based diet. Eating animals, animal fat, and the added risk from the hormones being pumped into "farmed" animals to ensure they grow to "market" weight as fast as possible, saving industry from feed costs, has detrimental consequences on human health. The media stays safely away from airing information about cancer prevention which is as simple as eliminating what causes it, and decreasing risk through a nutrient dense diet. What is shameful and inexcusable, is that billions are spent on research and animal testing, while pathetically little is spend on education programs to ensure children learn that organic plant foods are humans best medicine against cancer, and meat and dairy are in fact, the worst things to eat for optimal health and immune strength.
www.CancerProject.org and www.drgreger.com are useful in learning how to PREVENT and survive cancer. It's truly incredible that the foods that help keep us healthy, are also the foods that could repair the broken and unsustainable agriculture system being hyjacked by Monsanto, ADM, Cargill, and other biotech monsters who care nothing about human or animal health. Cancer tragically, is as symptom of a much larger multi headed hydra that puts profit over people, and market shares over childrens health and the health of our environment. The best treatment for cancer is to fight the politics that allows the health threats in the first place. Perhaps Leroy could do series on super foods that help protect cells from mutating into cancer cells.

Sent by Laura Slitt | 7:09 AM ET | 04-13-2007