by Leroy Sievers

Susan's right. There is a gate, and once you pass through it, you can really never go back. But at the risk of sounding corny, isn't that what life is all about anyway?

I was going back and reading all the comments that you have sent in. I do read them all. And I saw this note from Susan. She has had surgery for two brain tumors. The cancer had metastasized from her lungs.

I know not who I am or why this is happening. There seems to be a space between life and death that takes on a form of its own, but I am just now walking through that gate. I am very, very scared.

I know that fear. We all know that fear. I wish there was an easy way to make the fear lose its power. A few magic words that would take care of it. But if those words exist, I don't know them. I can say that over time, the fear will lessen a little. But it won't go away. I don't think it ever really goes away.

What is it that we are afraid of? Death? Certainly. But I think what is also scary is the loss of our old lives ... who we were, what we could do. The loss of things that we took for granted. New things take their place, of course. New knowledge, new friends, really a new life. But I don't know that we ever fully come to terms with the loss of who and what we were.

Susan's right. There is a gate, and once you pass through it, you can really never go back. But at the risk of sounding corny, isn't that what life is all about anyway? We pass through countless doors. Our lives change constantly, in ways big and small.

I have found comfort in a saying that I think about a lot. We are not given the burdens we deserve, we are given the burdens we can bear. My message to Susan, and to all of you, and to myself, is that we are stronger than we think. We can bear these burdens.