Hawaii: It's Just a Vacation, Really!

 
“This is going to be a real vacation, the first one since this ordeal began. I can't wait. I do own several Hawaiian shirts. But I like to think that, as Hawaiian shirts go, they're not too bad.”
 
 

The following essay is from the NPR My Cancer weekly podcast:

I'm going on vacation. Going to Hawaii, one of my favorite places in the world. Ordinarily, when you tell people something like that, they all say how great it is. But this time, when I told my friends, there have been some awkward silences. I have to quickly say, "No, I'm not dying." I'd better explain.

When I was first diagnosed, I told my doctors I didn't want to die in a hospital, connected to machines and with tubes coming out of me. My plan was to go to Hawaii and drink mai tais until the end. I made my doctors promise to tell me when it was time for me to go to Hawaii. It may sound silly, but this was a serious conversation.

Now there was one hole in my plan that I never quite worked out. What if I timed it wrong? What if I went to Hawaii and then survived for weeks ... or months? Then I would just become "that old drunk that sits out by the pool." I still haven't figured that part out yet.

So it came as a shock earlier this year, when my doctor suggested it was time to go. He quickly added that it was not because my death was imminent. It wasn't. But my case was going badly. The chemo had failed, the tumors had grown and spread, and we were starting to talk about getting my affairs in order, as they say. It was unlikely that I would survive past the summer, let alone to the end of the year.

He felt that at the time of that conversation, I was probably feeling as good as I was going to feel. And so it would be a good time for Hawaii. One last vacation while I could enjoy it.

Well, a lot has changed since then. Through radiation and a relatively new procedure called radio frequency ablation, we have managed to kill the tumors we knew about. My recent scans have been clean. And while I'm always quick to add that I'm not cured, that it's pretty certain the cancer is in there somewhere, right now I'm in pretty good shape. I'm in a place where I never thought I'd be.

So this is going to be a real vacation, the first one since this ordeal began. I can't wait. I do own several Hawaiian shirts. But I like to think that, as Hawaiian shirts go, they're not too bad. When I was at Nightline, I actually instituted Hawaiian Shirt Fridays, a step beyond Casual Fridays. That may be one reason I'm no longer there.

But I'm going over there not because it's the last trip I'm going to make. No, I'm going over there just like the thousands of tourists who go every week. To get away for a little while. And that first Mai Tai? It's going to be sweet. And, oh yeah, I am going to continue to write the blog from over there ... but I think I'll write early in the day. Before it's mai tai time.

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Congratulations and enjoy the trip. I appreciated the "Living with Cancer" show by the way, especially the emphasis on living.

Sent by Crawford | 7:06 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Watching your story on Living with Cancer last night and reading your blog this morning yanked me back - in the best way possible - to the place I need to be inside myself. I hit 8 years in what the doctors call remission and what I call my "beautiful reprieve" from Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma on April 27th. During chemo I put a list of three things on my refrigerator that I would do if I survived. One was to write a novel and to finally go back to working as a writer in some capacity. The other was to take a trip to Europe. I've managed the first, walking away from a 20 year career as a paralegal and back to the journalism and communications I pursued in college. It was hard and took 5 years of struggling, but it was worth it. I was so focused and pumped up after cancer. I became a First Connection volunteer, I cycled 100 miles in Tahoe to raise money for Leukemia & lymphoma, I wrote for my local paper about my experience. I lived in Erie, PA, then and I regularly went to the peninsula to walk, roller blade and bike. I would look at the blue sky and the blue water and thank God for this reprieve, promising to use my writing to do something good. I wrote my first novel, never sold it, and dove into the second.

Then I moved to Cleveland to work at Case Western University and at first it was great. I was writing for a vision center that worked toward corporate social responsibility and sustainability, I was working on improving my creative writing, I finished my masters and published my thesis. I felt centered and whole and making the most of my new post-cancer life. Then my center closed and I landed at an insurance company in a brutal environment doing useless work and just crashed. I've been in a bad pattern of shutting down emotionally to make it through the work day - a waste of 40 hours each week of my precious new life - and spending hours sending out resumes that are probably lost in someone's spam blocker somewhere. I've had lots of health problems and have been worried this job would cause a relapse. I'm never hopeless, but I've been pretty bummed out.

Then I watched you on Ted Koppel's show last night, read your blog this morning, looked in my e-mail box and saw that one of the tons of job alerts I get had two jobs for writers at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and one for PR at the Lance Armstrong Foundation. I felt the old me who pumped that bike up a dangerous switchback in Lake Tahoe to help others with cancer come back.

No more whining and being bummed out. I will just fight harder to get out of Cleveland, get a better job and make a difference for as long as this beautiful reprieve lasts.

And I'm going to plan that trip to Europe, even if it takes a long time to make it really happen.

Thank you for pulling me back to the center that cancer created within me - a terrible disease that ultimately taught me to following my true calling to write and to be a better person in the process.

Sent by Janet Roberts | 7:20 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy: My name is Francesca and I am 34 and 6 weeks ago got diagnosed with satge 4 Non Hadkin's Lymphoma. My word has gone upside down but I am a fighter and i know I will be around a while longer , or at least I hope so so my 3 year old will have memories of me.. just like you mentioned yesterday on the documentary on Discovery. I got set to watch the special really thinking of both Lance Armostrong and Mrs. Edwards but I eneded up being so inspired by you and your story. I think we look at this disease in very similar ways ...and I also hope that when I am gone people will remember me as being less fat! Thank you for your inspiration and ENJOY HAWAII! I will definitelly be back at the blog.. all the best, Francesca

Sent by Francesca Giessmann | 7:22 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Enjoy Hawaii and the Mai Tais Leroy! This is a more perfect time for that vacation than you ever thought you would have--I'm glad you're taking advantage of it.

I enjoyed the Ted Koppel show last night.

Sent by N.R. | 7:32 AM ET | 05-07-2007

After watching the documentary last night, I had one comment to my husband. I wondered if anyone watching was saying "enough all ready, I am sick of this cancer thing". My husband replied," Most probably the only ones watching this are those somehow affected by cancer". Could that be true?

Sent by Maddy Ayre | 7:40 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy ~

The documentary last evenng was wonderful. I continue to learn the most and relate the most to your outlook, perspective, and candid remarks. Have a wonderful trip...you deserve it!

Sent by Maria | 7:40 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for being on the Discovery special last night and this blog. I'm glad you are going to Hawaii and hope you enjoy it tremendously. The program last night was special, I couldn't have watched it even a couple of months ago. What I got from it was - how special you are Leroy and that you are doing a service for all cancer patients, that everyone appreciated their nurses (myself included and I am an RN) and that Elizabeth Edwards openly admitted that having financial stability helps a lot even though no one finds cancer easy. Thank GOD you are still here Leroy and the world got to see you last night. Your words resonate with me and I share your feelings.

Sent by Vicki | 7:58 AM ET | 05-07-2007

What a terrific program last evening!! Thank you for sharing your story along with Lance. I must tell you that when I was diagnosed, I bought Lance's book -It;s Not About the Bike". In it he says (paraphrase)- "It's ok to be afraid BUT always leave room in your heart for HOPE". This stuck with me through the darkest hours because I was/am afraid but I do believe in the power of HOPE, not unrealistic Hope but just Hope.

I was struck by the comment of your oncologist - "He will die from his cancer". Statistically, scientifically and every other way one can imagine, his words were true at the time. What he failed to recognize and acknowledge is that we are all unique individuals ( the stats are for large groups )and how our bodies respond to various treatments is equally unique. This is why, in my opinion, a cancer patient who is willing to fight must continue to try the next therapy available even though the previous one has failed. We are all searching for that combination that will work for us before the time runs out. One of the great and unsolved mysteries of cancer is why one treatment will work for you for your specific type of cancer but will not work for me! If this enigma can be solved, it will bring us closer to a cure.

With all of this said, I have also been a witness/helper/supporter of several friends who pursued an aggressive regime but each failed to keep the cancer at bay. They came to that point when they were "physically and emotionally too tired" to continue their fight. I understood. They made a heroic attempt to save their lives but their time and energy were exhausted and they died. Each of us must face this as a very good possibility. When is the right time to "give up the fight"? I don't know today but I will know when my time comes.

I must also say that I have seen the oncologists "give up" on patients and send them away with no chance and no Hope. I believe that as long as the patient is willing to fight, the oncologist should be "in the trenches" with them trying to find the right combination. A broken spirit, a spirit with no Hope and no goal will most certainly wither and die. Let the patient decide.

I have also witnessed a "cancer miracle". A young friend with tumors everwhere, sticking out from his neck and collarbone, chest, etc. I sent him to my oncologist. My oncologist told me later that he had never seen a person with so many visible tumors and that he said to himself that this young man was dead. He put him in the hospital and started chemo. This continued over many weeks. Today he is cancer free. Scans don not show any tumors in his body!! Miracles do happen.

Continued best wishes and prayers for you and yours Mr. Sievers. Continue your good work because you say for many of us what we feel but often don't have a forum to express our feelings.

Sent by Al Cato | 7:58 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I watched you and others on television last night; you, Lance and Elizabeth spoke a lot of truths that others needed to hear. I, too have cancer, just diagnosis on January 8, 2007 with colon cancer than on January 10 with metastasis liver cancer. The care each patient receives is the most important part of the journey for it is the foundation of your spirit and outlook. Just as you, Elizabeth and Lance, I have received the best care possible, due to two extraordinary physicians, one local and one at Cleveland Clinic. I owe my physical well-being to both of them and a host of other great physicians who have helped in the healing process. I have a friend with stage II colon cancer, she took a different path, and her journey has been, in my eyes, awful. She chose to follow one doctor???s guide and not educate herself on the disease and treatments available. I have read everything I can on both the disease and every treatment available or studied. I have had surgery and 2 out of 12 chemotherapies under my belt. Except for those days following chemotherapy I feel good and am even able to work. Thank you for having the ability and strength to share your story on national television, it had to be difficult. I am new to your blog and blogging altogether but it will be a wonderful outlet for the many trials, tribulations, and emotions that go with cancer. Enjoy Hawaii.


Sent by Bonnie Allman | 8:12 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, I enjoyed "meeting" you yesterday on your special. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Enjoy your trip and try to forget about cancer for a while.

Janis

Sent by Janis | 8:28 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy - the show was really good last night. Kudos to you, Ted, Lance, and Elizabeth, as well as all the people in the studio and those behind the scenes that worked so hard to put it on. It was a neat angle to have your medical team on there - they seem like a great team.

Enjoy your vacation - well deserved, I might add. When I had lymphoma, I had to cancel a trip to Yellowstone that was greatly anticipated. I had wanted to see it all my life, and the day I cancelled it was the only day I remember feeling truly sad during chemo. I wondered if I would ever have another chance. A few years later, we went to Yellowstone, and to the Grand Tetons and Glacier National Park. It felt great to have survived and done the trip after all, to see so many amazing things.

I wanted to comment on Janet Roberts' comment. I also am a First Connection volunteer for the LLS and also a Team in Training Alumni, with two marathons. It was a great feeling, wasn't it, to survive and come back to do marathons in my case and a Century bike ride in yours? I don't think I ever would have done this had I not experienced cancer. Also, with First Connection, I made a call a couple of months ago to a man who was to start chemo the next day for stage 4 Hodgkin lymphoma. When we finished talking, he said that after talking to me, his fear and stress of facing this was gone and replaced by a confidence that all would be OK. It was the most wonderful feeling to know that through my experience, I was able to help someone else get ready to face his ordeal and turn fear into hope. I imagine that you (Janet) have had similar experiences. Good luck with the new job, Janet.

Sent by Art Ritter | 8:58 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy

I must say I was deeply moved by the special last evening and it has directed me here.....

I am a 32 year survivor of testicular cancer (stage II pure embryonal carcinoma with vascular invasion.. a very rare form of the disease comprising some 5% of testicular cases).. diagnosed at a time when much less was known about the disease and how to treat it.. I was not supposed to survive.. but survive I did!! I was told by my doctor that he knew of ONE patient that had the same pathology as mine and lived....

Not only did I merely survive.. but I have THRIVED and lead a fulfilling and "normal" life....

My cancer experience changed me as would be no surprise.. I became a very driven person... I found focus in my work and became somewhat of a "workaholic"... it has allowed me to do things I am not so sure I would have been able to do otherwise!!

Despite my very grim prognosis (less than 10% 5-year survival and 50/50 2-year survival).. within hours of that diagnosis/prognosis I never again even considered the possibility I would not survive! Yes I knew that was a very real possibility... but until such time as I was on my last breath.. I was not going to give up.

I became nearly two people or personalitites... one that was sick and dealt with the treatments as necessary and the other that was so focused on LIVING.. I got chemo on Friday's and was back at work on Monday!

My journey was ceratinly not "fun".. but I also knew and in the last year I have had the good fortune to meet some of the most amazing people I could ever imagine that have and continue to endure sooo much more than I ever did! Though I have not truly "met" you... You are now one of those people to me....

Back when I was diagnosed... you simply did not talk about the big "C" word.. and especially for a 20 year old male and with the "sexual connotations/implications"... the end result was I was totally ALONE in my fight and journey... there were no support groups... no internet to do research or communicate with others...

I kept completely silent about my experiences and fight!! Approxmiately 2 years ago I faced the 30th anniversary of my diagnosis and my 50th birthday and it brought me to a very retrospective point in life.. I got complete copies of my medical records and researched everything they contained.. I have since written my survival story and begun to speak out about my experience.. I have beocme involved with several cancer organizations including the LAF.. and I have co-founded www.canceradvocatescoalition.org...

I will be silent NO MORE!!

I am very grateful for your courage to speak out and share your journey through cancer.. the ups and downs... you are certainly an inspiration to many and I will also draw on this inspiration to continue to speak out.. to do my best to share my story with the hopes of giving even one person hope when there may not be any otherwise...

Anyone interested is welcome to communicate with me as you may get my email address at the above website.

Sent by Ronald K. Bye | 9:07 AM ET | 05-07-2007

With tears in my eyes, I thank you for sharing your message of hope on the Living with Cancer show aired last evening. Enjoy Hawaii, enjoy your family, enjoy those Mai Tai's. You deserve a break!

Sent by karen | 9:08 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you Leroy, the special last night was wonderful. I am so appreciative of all your hard work, and willingness to be so totally honest and open. My Dad died almost two years ago and I still regret not having the conversations we all imagine we will have. I think if he had seen your special it may have made a difference. Have a wonderful vacation, and a mai tai for me.

I do have a question... so many of us that have been reading your blog consider you a friend and care deeply about you. How does that make you feel knowing virtual strangers have such feelings? Perhaps we aren't really strangers?

Sent by Susan | 9:10 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Yeah Hawaii!! Have a great time. Maybe you can buy some new Hawiian shirts.
Thank you for the show last night, it was very well done.

Sent by debbie | 9:11 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I've tried to put my finger on exactly what it is about your blog, Leroy, that so touches my heart---even beyond your searing honesty and your laser-like ability to articulate thoughts I sometimes haven't even whispered to myself.

Reading Al Cato's moving commentary this morning may have finally put it all together for me. Not only are your musings more often than not inspired, but they clearly bring out in your loyal band of cancer world buddies the most deeply felt and valuable wisdom one could hope to hear on issues many of us are facing moment by moment as we go forward in these stupifying times. Thank you Leroy! Thank you, Leroy's friends! You are awesome!!

Sent by Anita Solomon | 9:20 AM ET | 05-07-2007

What you had to say last night transcends cancer. You calmed and organized my fear of the disease. I have grown to a new understanding of lifes possibilities. Thank you

Sent by elizabeth sebastian | 9:21 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,

Thank you for showing us all cancer isn't all it's cracked up to be. Ted Koppel's special last night was astounding and you, you beautiful big guy, almost moved me to tears. Elizabeth actually accomplished that. One look at her, her openness, her soft eyes reflecting that "knowing" thing that all cancer survivors have. For the first time in a while I felt understood.

As I listened to Lance Armstrong speak about his rumble with cancer, I saw a bit of myself, or at least what I aspire to be as a cancer survivor. Whereas I secretely see myself as Joan of Arc, he brightly shown as knightly one slaying the cancer dragon. I feel myself falling short so often of my idyllic goals, yet he shines, Elizabeth glows and you, you write, keeping all of us believing in the beauty of the every day.

Thanks Leroy. Now I'm not too afraid of my next appointment with my oncologist, even though I've been telling myself the strange olfactory things and dizziness are because I'm blonde. I'll tell him about it this time when I see him.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 9:21 AM ET | 05-07-2007

The documentary last night was just so wonderful, Leroy - so many things covered and touched upon that ring true for those of us in cancer world. It was especially nice to hear from Laurie - I've often wondered how she felt about her place in your cancer, and how all of this, including your blog, was affecting her. You have said many times how tough cancer is on the ones who don't have it, but are forced to participate anyway, and your decision to discuss your cancer in such a public way surely has had ramifications for Laurie. So thank you both, Leroy and Laurie, for sharing your story for the benefit of all of us. And have a wonderful time in Hawaii!

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 9:22 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Last night I watched the special "Living With Cancer" and I had to write to tell you how moving it was to me that you shared your story. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you have a wonderful time on vacation.

Sent by Carolyn Morris | 9:31 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for speaking out for those of us who are traveling along the roads of Cancertown.

Sent by Cory | 9:38 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I watched your special last night and was deeply affected by your strength. I am a nurse and care for profoundly retarded patients in a 24 hour nursing facility and I must say it becomes very difficult, but rewarding at the same time. I see your fight, I hope you win. I also believe in miracles...I am praying for yours.

Warm hugs,

Sent by Robin T | 9:39 AM ET | 05-07-2007

It seems you are telling my (and countless others) story in a much more concise and creative way. When people want to know how i feel I can just send them to this blog. By the way as a sarcoma (very rare) surviver there is the added stress of losing major body parts (arm and shoulder) and organs (kidney so far). This makes blending into a crowd much harder. I liked it better when I didn't look like I had cancer. Thank you for willing to be our voice.

Sent by Russ | 9:49 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Thank you for sharing your story last night, I have esphogeal cancer, diagnosed in Feb. I am a 46 year old woman with 2 children. Cancer is so weird, it does turn your life upside down. I never in a million years thought I would be someone who has it, or how it would effect my life. So many things you said were exactly how I have been feeling, most times unwilling to burden my family with the non positive. I'm not sure how cancer will effect my life long term, but I will never give up, my family needs me and I need them. One thing is for sure, you find out who you really can count on and every day you are grateful for those people. Have a great vacation, you deserve it.

Sent by Chris Fitzgerald | 9:56 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy

My wife and I watched the show last night, "Living with Cancer," and I thought it was very well done. Although it was largely about you, I imagine the producer in you had something to do with how it turned out. Thank you for the show, the blog, and your perspective. Enjoy the vacation!

Sent by David | 9:57 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you Leroy for your comments on the special last night. It was nice to hear from a patient, rather than a doctor.

As a recovering alchoholic (almost 8 yrs sober) and now cancer patient, a Mai Tai is the first drink I have craved in years. I really do not want to drink, it's just I figured that when the "end is near" I too have mentioned a beach, a gallon (or 3) of Mai Tais and a carton of Marlboros as the proper way to go out.

Thank you for the special last night, though I couldn't watch the entire thing. I recorded the entire thing on DVR, but when your oncologist said "he will die from this cancer", I had to stop watching. I have heard the same thing from every doctor I have seen in the 3 months since I've been diagnosed. Whay can't they find a better way to put it? Why can't they quote the number of survivors, or folks who are living with an uncurable cancer rather than the number who die?

Hearing your doctor say those words brought back the emotions that I have successfully repressed for the past month. I have been living, quite happily I may add, in total denial of my prognosis. I get my chemo, I go in for my scans, I did set up a trust but the only way I have been able to live, is by imagining a future. To do that, I have to believe that my cancer can and will be controlled.

I will try to watch the rest of the special, but it may take a few tries...

Enjoy your vacation, drink a Mai Tai for me, and have a wonderful time.

Sent by Steph | 10:00 AM ET | 05-07-2007

"Living With Cancer" showed the world what cancer truly is, and it did it with enormous courage and humor. Thank you for devoting a portion of it to discussing your (very successful!) radiofrequency ablation procedure. I have been a cancer patient since 2002, and was also told to "go home and get your affairs in order" by two of the biggest cancer treatment powerhouses in the world. I stumbled on RFA by divine intervention, and it literally has saved my life. I am now a patient advocate for a cancer treatment facility in Jackson, MS that specializes in RFA. Radiofrequency ablation is a key procedure that allows patients take charge of this disease, rather than the other way around. I've had RFA in the lungs and the liver several times, with amazing results. Your position in the media and your willingness to share information will save countless lives. Thank you.

Sent by Cathy Forsythe | 10:01 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Mahalo, and thank you, Leroy for your honesty and inspiration. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed I am. I was so happy to hear about your true vacation, please have a mai tai for me. We all have a 'story', yet our feelings and emotions about this disease find a common thread. Funny, I listed the Molokai Ranch resort shortly after my treatment, in my favorites, in the hopes I can spend it with my children someday. We all need something to look forward to.
I am a Stage 3 breast cancer survivor and I thank you and Ted for what you have done for me and so many others. After the show, I felt I finally had a real friend who understands. I only wished I could've had my friends and family around me to see the show as well, so that I could say...see, this is how I feel.
Kudos to Ted for mentioning at the very beginning how easy it is for others of affluence. I am finding it difficult, feeling very much alone in all this. As a single mom, I want so much for my kids (22,20,12) to understand, yet I may be expecting too much. Of course, their problems are unsurmountable! My ex stopped paying child support and alimony after my treatment which forced the sale of my home, and resulted in moving my youngest away from his friends and school. I sometimes feel that the stress, not the cancer will kill me! I no longer can afford this home and need to move again, after only one year. I have NJFamily Care insurance and cannot earn anymore than $17,000/yr or I lose it. I remain positive, and know all I can do is keep going. After all, this is the small stuff when you have been told you have cancer. I also keep in mind those who have it worse and am thankful. I sometimes wish I could get this 'stuff' out of the way so that I can start to live, but then realize that these distractions are part of my life. They allow me to forget about the cancer until the next follow-up, or feeling the side effects of my treatment, so I guess it is a 'good thing.'
Sorry, didn't mean to 'vent'. I feel we are ultimately alone, in our thoughts, feelings, our diagnosis, our journey. Each one of us is different, in the way we heal, how we deal with it and what we believe. I firmly believe with the love and support that surrounds you, worldwide, you will be the one to beat the odds and have many more Hawaiian vacations...my love, appreciation and prayers are with you.

Sent by Lynn Michele | 10:02 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I watched the documentary last night and I admire your candor for admitting to crying and being upset. I am a nearly 2 year breast cancer survivor. I had a bilateral mastectomy in Nov. 2005 after a second cancer was foun in the left breast.. I had just finished 4 rounds of chemo for 3 tomors found in the right breast. My lymph nodes were all clean, so I am grateful and thankful. I also have hope but I will never be able to say I'm grateful for having cancer and that I`m a better person for having it, or that I woudn`t change a thing from the last 2 years.. Has it made stronger? Most certainly. But so have many other life experiences. I hate the feeling of dread prior to every lab draw, and oncologist visit. I hate the stomach churning feeling I experience for every ache and pain that lasts for more than a day. I`m tired of people telling me how brave I am. After all what is the alternative to this grueling treatment? DEATH. So don`t make me live up to being brave, I`m too busy fighting this disease that has rocked my world. Believe me, I don`t whine and cry all day, but if I have a bad day once in a while, it's my right. Your story is truly an inspiration and you have humanized this disease, and I am very grateful for that. Please enjoy Hawaii, and have a Mai Tai for me!

Sent by Judy | 10:05 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Thank you for being so open and honest. It is so hard to mentally get to the point/place that you so elegantly put into words last night.

Eight months ago my husband had a pain. Within a month we had the colon resection and at the age of 50 a Stage IV colon cancer with liver metastases diagnosis. At the age of 49 I was a Stage IV colon cancer caregiver. He has finished 6 months of chemo and we are preparing to have the liver resection at Johns Hopkins this month.

My thoughts are with you, enjoy your vacation.....you have made a difference.

Sent by kathy | 10:05 AM ET | 05-07-2007

What a great job on "Living With Cancer." It was a surprise and delight to see Marianne in person. I am so glad you all made a special acknowledgement to oncology nurses. What would we do without them. Have a great time in Hawaii and have a Mai Tai for us all!

Sent by Cherie Cuneo | 10:06 AM ET | 05-07-2007

There is a comic strip called "Zits" about a teenage boy and his (parents'?) trials and tribulations. I used to swear that the cartoonist was hiding in a closet in our house and writing about our then teenage son! Last night, watching "Living with Cancer," I would have sworn you were hiding in my closet and writing down my thoughts about having cancer! (Fortunately, you do it a bit more eloquently than I would.) While I would not have chosen to join this community of survivors (Stage IV Breast [incurable?] cancer), I have so far been able to find the positives in this experience. Had I not contracted this disease, I would never have known the depth of the love of family and friends. Perhaps I would have preferred to own a beach house to discover that, but one plays the hand one is dealt. Enjoy Hawaii!

Sent by Jennifer Kalkhof | 10:09 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy - I had been sneaking peeks at your blog for 3 weeks--ever since my doctor told me I might have lymphoma, but before the diagnosis.At that time, I didn't want to believe I could have cancer, but wanted to see how a real human being was dealing with it. Now I have my lymphoma diagnosis, so it felt safe to watch the Discovery program last night. It was a pleasure "meeting" you, Elizabeth and Lance and all the other people who spoke at the town hall meeting. My husband, 15-year-old son and I all watched together, since this will be a journey for all of us. It helped initiate the discussion of difficult issues, but gave us hope as well. Thanks again. I hope your trip to Hawaii is everything you want.

Sent by Susan B. | 10:15 AM ET | 05-07-2007


Of course I watched the Living with Cancer special, with only one misgiving, the one I am embarrassed to admit I ofen have. Why is so little attention paid to lung cancer? I have never smoked and never had a cancer symptom, but was diagnosed with stage 4 on 2/8/06. The patients with breast, prostate, colon cancer are "lucky" enough to have tests that can lead to earlier detection. There was a brief flurry of attention over Dana Reeve...and then the media as usual moved on. Lung cancer kills 4x as many folks as breast cancer each year. I have a friend who smoked for years and asked her doctor for a chest x-ray that she would pay for. The dr. refused to write the order. What are we, the vulnerable esp., supposed to do?

I heard a couple days ago (via an interview with Ted on WAMC) that you were going to Hawaii and I have been so excited for you since. Have a mojito for me please, as the chemo and drugs preclude it for me! I look forward to the tropical postings and hope it is all that you imagined.

Sent by Jan Shotwell | 10:25 AM ET | 05-07-2007

The only words I heard one week ago were, "He has not had a stroke, he has a brain tumor".

As a registered nurse for many years, all of my knowledge left me. I looked over at my father-in-law of 14 years and thought, "How am I going to do this?". Selfish I know, but truthful.

His symptoms started out very similar to yours. Slurred speech, facial drooping etc. A stroke was in my mind, it terrified me. How I wish that had been the answer we were searching for.

As I watched the special "Living With Cancer" last night, I was taken back to one week ago, when my life took a turn I was not expecting.

Your honesty and candidness were exactly what I needed. I know the part I am to play in all of this. I am "the nurse" but I couldn't quite get my mind around the details to make decisions. Your voice still resonates in me this morning as you said, "I was at a good hospital but if I would have stayed there I probably wouldn't have made it".

As a nurse, I know the limitations healthcare facilities, along with the dedicated employees face, it is heartbreaking but it is reality.

I know what I have to do. I am joining the fight. When the physician looked at me last week and said, "He might have 6 months", I accepted it with no questions. I now have questions. This morning, 6 months is not acceptable. I want answers and I want better explanations. Today is the day I will start getting them.

I am putting on my "Leroy" face.

Thank you so much for being what I needed in my life.

Sent by L Jackson | 10:27 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy: As the caregiver to a cancer survivor, I can honestly say your story is, in a very real sense, our story. Last night's program was difficult in many ways to watch because it was so familiar and still so painful. But I thank you so much for having the courage to share so intimately and to express all the range of emotions that we all go through so eloquently. We are bonded together by this disease and it has changed all of our lives. You are so right when you say we have to live it everyday. Thanks also to Ted Koppel, Elizabeth Edwards and Lance Armstrong. I believe what you have done and are doing will truly help those who aren't living with this disease to better understand those who are. We are also planning a special trip out West and we, too, are hopeful that it will certainly not be our last. Enjoy Hawaii!

Sent by Patty | 10:28 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Caught the show - kudos!
Although watching you in the chemo room, made my stomach lurch, at the memory.
Enjoy your holiday!

Sent by Karen | 10:35 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy, Last nights show was great. Thak you for sharing. Enjoy Hawaii. Just one question- yellow or orange speedo?

Sent by Ron | 10:37 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy:

It was great to meet you (one of my heros) in person last night at the Townhall meeting. Your family, friends, medical team, and community that you have built are simply amazing human beings.

I was touched my Ted's kindness, and his deep regard for your friendship, I was moved by Elizabeth Edwards and her candor about life with cancer, and I was inpspired by Lance and his cancer that made him 'stronger'.

Have you made a difference? Heck yeah you have. Please don't ever doubt that.

Enjoy Hawaii, learn how to surf if you can.. (that or get a great tan!)

I feel honored to have finally put a face to a 'name on a blog'....and yes, I did comment today despite running on 'no sleep'.. but isn't that what doctors do? (kidding).

Safe travels. Take lots of pictures to share!

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 10:42 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Saw the Koppel special last night. Nice to put your face with the voice and words. I was especially impressed with the attitude toward death. The lady with pancreatic cancer was impressive. I recommend Art Buchwald's book "It Is Too Soon To Say Goodbye".
I am looking forward to our annual family Thanksgiving in Hawaii. I am not sure if I will play golf.
I am scheduled for prostate surgery follow-up in two weeks. Then will come radiation and hormone treatment to contain the spread. I don't feel sick and I don't look sick. Still, it freaks out my friend to know that I have cancer. But I will live with it.
Keep up the good work.

Sent by John McCrillis | 10:43 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I just "met" you - on the Discovery Channel Show last night. You were wonderful. I watched, because my brother-in-law, who I dearly love, has been on the Cancer roller-coaster for almost a year and a half now.

AS FOR YOUR TRIP TO HAWAII - be sure to go to the west side of Maui and find the spot where people stack rocks. You'll see it from the road. Create your own stacks. The stacks are to let people know that you were happy there. And you will be!

Sent by Denise Casey | 10:46 AM ET | 05-07-2007

You've done a great national service Leroy. I was struck by the national conversation taking place on television on a subject most Americans flee from: mortality. The sense of honesty carried the day. No time for BS when you're staring down cancer. Thanks for reminding us that we continue to LIVE and that living is the gift and hope that cancer underscores. Right now I'm watching the latest cycle of migratory birds comes through the back yard. The orioles are back!
I was not going to watch the program last night, but my partner needs the community you created. My son holed up in the back. His wife had to be at work, I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for dessert when my partner reminded me that she wanted to see the program. I'm so glad we did, for both our sakes.
Now, you go on to Hawaii and enjoy yourself. Hope the passport office is caught up with their processing. I'm still waiting for mine!
Strength for the journey good sir.

I was married yesterday and I'm looking forward to the conversation between myself and this wonderful friend/lover/partner/collaborator

Sent by Aida Mancillas | 10:49 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for sharing your life with us -- last night's show was fascinating, even for those of us who have not had cancer. Have you had a PET scan to determine if you are cancer free?
I understand what you go through from the visits at Hopkins. My 23 year old son, Clark, has terminal vision. We take him to Hopkins every year (since age 4) and leave devastated with the news of his progressive blindness. Clark over compensates so well, we become optimistic in between visits. You are so correct when you stated how important it is to be near good medical care.
Lance Armstrong is his idol and Clark is now into competitive cycling (on the back of a tandem).
We try to end our hospital visits on a positive note and eat at Little Italy afterwards. I would love to know where you get the your favorite grub afterwards!

Sent by Tanya Rachfal | 10:50 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you. As a medical oncologist I listened to every word. As the husband of a wife who started chemo for metastatic breast cancer friday I shed tears. And as a member of a family I sat while my wife, our daughter, and I all cried, laughed, and tried to understand what we are all living. Thank you and you without a doubt ARE making a difference.

Sent by Tom Gaddis, MD | 11:06 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,

Thank you and Ted Koppel for the special last night. As a 3 time cancer survivor, Hodgkins at 16, Breast Cancer at 39 (2000) and 44 (2004) I can't tell you how moved I was by it. My mom and sister are both breast cancer survivors. I am dealing with my father-in-law now with stage 4 lung cancer and after 5 miraculous years, he is now in the end stages.
I just was so moved by all of you, But most especially by you and Ted Koppel. He brought realness to this disease and that fact that we can LIVE with cancer.

Enjoy your vacation! My only wish is to someday meet you and Ted Koppel and Elizabeth Edwards in person. Your are all amazing.

Sent by Andi | 11:07 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Enjoy Hawaii! I can relate to your Mai Tai conversation with your doctors. I recently insisted on receiving some CT scan results before leaving on a planned trip to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico; if the results had been bad, my plan was to stay at a snazzy all-inclusive beach resort until my money ran out.

I'd also like to thank you for the Discovery program last evening. Among other things, it has inspired me to share my own journal, which I've entitled "Welcome to The Hotel Melanoma".

Take care, and have a wonderful trip. Rich McDonald

Sent by Rich McDonald | 11:07 AM ET | 05-07-2007

The Discovery program last evening was worth the wait, Leroy. You all did a wonderful job. Stephanie, you're beautiful, and so is your family. I know that the show will make a great difference for many people, in that it'll make the experience of having cancer and the needs that we have much more understandable and available to the public at large. I hope that it will also start a much wider conversation about the gap in treatment that allows some patients to die because they don't have access to the care that they need, or because the care that they're able to afford is inadequate. I also hope that we turn some of our attention to the prevention of cancer, and what the country can do to avoid preventable cancers, find the causes for many of the cancers that are epidemic, and re-focus the attention away from blaming patients for not living spotless lives before diagnosis to what is in our environment and perhaps the products that we use that could be contribuiting to this problem.
You and Mrs. Edwards, Lance Armstrong, and Stephanie Dornbrook, and others in the town meeting who got up and spoke put a human face on cancer. I thank you all for your bravery.
By the way...Dr. Marissa Weiss got up and spoke and discussed the "whale in the room" of having cancer. She has done, and continues to do a huge service to those of us with breast cancer and those who care about us by founding "Living Beyond Breast Cancer", and by founding and running "Breast Cancer.org, the site for accurate information about breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, surgery, reconstruction options, and of the bc chat room that I and thousands of others go to for support, answers, and companionship with others who understand. I can't say enough for the wonderful work that this radiation oncologist, who is one of the best doctors in the Philadelphia area does on behalf of people with breast cancer all over the world.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 11:07 AM ET | 05-07-2007

LeRoy:
I watched the show last night and really have mixed feelings. I actually feel ashamed about the way I feel about Cancer. I was told that I had Kidney Cancer a few months ago and they took the Kidney out and instantly I'm a Cancer Survivor. A few week later they discover I have bladder cancer. I go in for treatments at the cancer center. No Chemo, No Sickness, No after effects and again I'm a Cancer Survivor. But what you and countless others have and are going thru are the true cancer survivors, I'm just a guy that has had cancer. Because so far it's been easy for me, I guess I feel guilty being called a survivor after watching the show last evening - best of luck and have a great time in Hawaii.

Sent by Gary | 11:08 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
What a gift last night's program was to me and I hope, to all those who have had their lives impacted by cancer. Today I finished my last radiation treatment for breast cancer, exactly 8 months from the day of my diagnosis. What a journey through surgery, the scans, chemo and radiation but I'm loving my life, am blessed with family, friends and the disease has definitely changed me in ways that I'm continuing to discover.
My hope is to be able to help others who are also living with cancer, in any way I can and to live my life as fully as I can.One of my goals during treatment, was to be able to go to Boston for Fourth of July to hear the Boston Pops play the "1812 Overture", that was the music that helped me in my fight,so I'll be there this July to celebrate and hopefully waving a Pink Ribbon Flag.
Know that you will be in my thoughts and enjoy your trip to Hawaii....a gift of beauty and peace.

Sent by Judith Tynan | 11:09 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I cried when you asked if you had made a difference. Of course you have. You have said it for all of us.
Use sunscreen.............
Mary

Sent by mary casey | 11:15 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I am a colon cancer suvivor for the last 3 and half years.

Sent by Beth Morrison | 11:17 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
I have been reading your blog for several months now. I'm not sure why I started, I sort of stumbled onto it. A good friend's mother died of lung cancer last year, and no one in the family told me, I had to find her obituary in the paper. I wish I had known. I would have liked to thank her for being my friend. I also stumbled onto Ted Koppel last night, and I said, hey that's the guy I read on NPR! So I very much enjoyed meeting you; quite an oak of a man you are. Thanks for doing this.

Sent by Dianne Rhodes | 11:17 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Wonderful show last night, although quite emotional to watch even after having followed you for so long. Great Jacket!!!

Enjoy Hawaii. I believe travel enriches every part of our being and you can also pretend "normalcy". The other drunks on the beach will never know you have cancer. Peace.

Sent by Dona | 11:19 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Quick background -- 28 year broadcast journalist, in fact Chris Bury worked form me in his first or second radio gig way back when. But I got out of the business at a good time, when I was recruited into another career in finance. Nine years out from prostate cancer - phenomenal early catch by my doc.
But what I really want to say has less to do with cancer and more to do with your living and the work I saw last night on the air. You made me proud. What a great job you guys did. I undetand the difference between your saying "I'n not angry" and Lance saying he is -- he's angry about the lack of commitment in the war on the disease. You were speaking personally. I never had anger, either. These days, I keep a stock of those yellow bracelets in my desk at work, and at home. Any client or friend that gets diagnosed gets two -- one for him or herself, the other to pass on to another survivor. It helps get them over that initial stress. And by the way, if you have not seen it, Lance's Foundation hands out a pretty impressive binder full of stories and advice -- for free! I've taken to ordering those for friends, as well. The veery best of luck to you - you are an impressive member of "the club".

Sent by BIll Hoel | 11:20 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,

How wonderful that you are taking a vacation rather than heading toward your death. I am on the verge of six months diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and I long for my first "vacation". I think the difference is that you will be there to enjoy yourself, not waiting for "the shoe to drop". enjoy cancer free moments, even if you are not. Watch the sunset and do not think that it will be the last you see, because it will not be, and drink Mai tais, or mojitos, or whatever and celebrate that today you are alive and today your cancer is MUCH smaller than you!

I only was able to catch part of the program last night. I am 39 and I have 5 young children, one of whom is an infant who currently has a bad case of stomach flu so I was not aware until today that you too have been afflictied with lung cancer. I wanted to reenforce what Jan said in an earlier comment. The statistics shown last night showed that lung cancer will KILL three times more people this year than ANY other cancer, yet we hear nothing. When I go to my cancer center for appointments and treatment there is so much for breast, and prostate and other cancers, and NOTHING for lung cancer. I thinkit may be time for we survivors to begin to voice that not all of us are or were smokers. I do not know if you ever were Leroy, but I have always been a very anti-smoking advocate (ironic huh?!). Each day more and more of us are being afflicted and each day we are told that we caught it too late for early treatment. I had a cough in September, I thought it was part of my asthma..I was so wrong! Somewhere somehow there must be a way to convince the medical community, the government, the entertainment industry...ANYONE that those of us with lung cancer are people worthy of help and dignity, not punishment for doing it to ourselves. While I work on that I will continue to live. I am interested in the place for good cheesesteaks by Hopkins, I have to visit there on occaision to meet with my oncologist there, and I can always go for a good sandwhich! Keep up the good fight. Thank you for letting everyone into your journey, all of our journey. Someday I would love to share more with you, but for now know that I wish you nothing but sunshine and mai tais!

Sent by Bernadette Hale | 11:25 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for sharing your life as it has unfolded for you in the past year. You said that you wanted to know if you made a difference. Even if it is just in the life of one person, you have made a difference and an impact on several people. Thank you again - and I look forward to many blogs from you ahead!

Sent by cynthia massey | 11:30 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Go baby go!!!!!!!!!! I was blesed with a trip to europe with my daughter by a brother of mine after I finished my chemo/radiation for lung cancer. My advice. Don't pack too much stuff. Wear the same clothes more than once and take a lot of pictures!!!! We have great memories now and are so grateful. See, some good things do come from cancer. I really thought the show last night did a good job expressing so many things/thoughts/feelings Ihave dealt with. Thank you and Thank you Ted too!

Sent by Ann Cavalier | 11:34 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, First - Enjoy the sweet smelling air of Hawaii and of course, those Mai Tais!
Thank you for sharing your cancer journey with all of those people that watched the show on Discovery.
I was 36 at Dx with Breast Cancer. Today I am 39. I am still receiving treatments for mets to my lungs. So far, I've taken 12 different chemotherapy agents and I am going to enter a clinincal trial at the NCI in just a few weeks.
Several things in your show moved me. You were right on with every thought, feeling and emotion. I feel everything you feel so I know I'm not alone in my feelings. The comments about "crossing the line" made me chuckle because I tell my husband all the time, I have to go into a room with a skull and crossbone on the door and a big sign that says RADIOACTIVE MATTER Your radio frequency ablation gives me hope. My Dr. is very cutting edge (she found me this new gene therapy trial at NCI) and I've seen Dr's at MSK in NYC but I wonder if this type of treatment would work for me? My onc. has told me that because of my nodules in my lungs, that getting radiation would be like buck shot to my lungs and I wouldn't be able to breath. You've given me hope and I am going to look more into this treatment that you've received.
You inspired me last night whether you meant to or not. Lance Armstrong has been one of my motivators all along (I read his book at first Dx and it helped me so much). I wear the yellow LiveStrong bracelet not because it's trendy....because it reminds me everyday to be strong and live strong!
Thanks again and keep up the good work!

Sent by Catherine Beuttenmuller | 11:34 AM ET | 05-07-2007

I watched the "Living with Cancer" program last night, at my husbands urging. He is recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and your program was to be part of our education. Thank you, I can't say that enough. Good luck and God bless

Sent by Rhonda | 11:40 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy: My name is Jim and I am a cancer survivor. My relationship with the disease began just under two years ago when I noticed that I had a small lump on the left side of my neck. I ignored it. For almost six months, I went on with the business of living life in the fast lane, and I tried to pay no attention to the clear signal that something was wrong with my body. As the lump grew from the size of a marble to the size of a baseball, I continued on, simply pretending it wasn't there.

Finally, my wife Cindy made an appointment with our family physician, who sent me to an oncologist at Pennsylvania Hospital in Philadelphia. The diagnosis was not good, not good at all. I had non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and the disease had progressed well into the fourth stage. Scans revealed that the lump in my neck had plenty of company throughout the rest of my body. In all, I had about ten tumors, ranging from the size of golf balls to softballs, that were spread throughout my chest, abdomen, neck and groin. My oncologist, Dr. Lee Hartner, ordered that I begin chemotherapy almost immediately.

For four months, I underwent heavy chemo and monoclonal inhibitor treatment at the hospital. As you know all to well, the experience was physically miserable, mentally exhausting and spirtually challenging. In the end, however, the drugs and my damaged immune system beat the cancer down. Last week I celebrated my first anniversary in remission.

I was blessed to have a great doctor, and unbelievably supportive wife, and a type of cancer that, while deadly, was very treatable. I am a lucky son of a bitch. No doubt about that.

Today I am doing well, but to say the disease changed my life is a gross understatement; it's like saying that Babe Ruth changed baseball. Like all survivors, I live with the memory of the illness, the knowledge that it could return at any time, and a very clear sense of my own mortality. For some reason, I am okay with all of that. Maybe it's because I have always been a little bit crazy. I think that helps.

If I can pass anything on to your readers, it is these lessons.

1. Get regular physicals, at least once a year.

2. Don't ignore lumps, or any other signals that your body may be giving you. That one sounds obvious, but it's not. Too many of us ignore the warning signs until it is too late.

3. Most importantly, any person who has been diagnosed with cancer must be willing to fight. To take the cancer down. To rage against the dying of the light. Doctors and drugs cannot kill cancer by themselves. Ultimately, I believe, the patient must kill it, must slaughter it. I don't believe there is any other way to win the fight.

For you, Mr. Sievers, I have the utmost respect and admiration. Watching your story on Discovery last night brought back so many of the feelings and thoughts that I had when I was actively sick, and I thank you for that. Those feelings, and the lessons they ultimately teach, must never be forgotten.

As for your health, I will pray for it every day because, even though I am still undecided about the existence of God, I believe very much in the power of prayer. That's another lesson we cancer fighters learn.

Just remember this, Leroy: you are a tough son of a bitch, and it's gonna take more than a few rogue cells to
take you out. Listen to me.

Keep up the good fight. The world needs you.

Jim

Sent by James Ray | 11:50 AM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
I thank you so much for what you shared with all of us last night on the show. My husband has been a runner all of his life and I am a martial artist. We both very much enjoy participating in marathons. Lance Armstrong is a world champion athlete and a formidable man, but Leo and I both so completely related to you on a personal level as though we had known you all of our lives.

Leo was diagnosed a year ago with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. We were told that he just needed to be monitored and that it would probably be quite a while before he actually needed treatment. Only a very short time after that, while we were training to do the Little Rock Marathon, he started feeling "abnormally old" and mentioned it to his doctor. Well, in a very short time he had gone from "just needing to be monitored" to needing chemo. He had an allergic reaction to his first chemo treatment and it nearly killed him. They changed his coctail and he has been taking his chemo treatments every three weeks since January. As you have said, the cancer didn't make him sick, but the chemo is truly a drag. He says it's like being hit in the face with a velvet frying pan. He can't do anything he's used to doing. He can't stay focused on anything for very long at a time. Absoslutely nothing that was just normal every day every minute existence is the same as it was. As soon as he starts to fell almost normal, it's time for his next treatment. You put all of that into words for him. You made it ok on levels that I couldn't do for him and I thank you so very much for that.

I'm glad that you have been given more time ... enjoy Hawaii ... you've more than earned a great vacation.

Sent by Marie Trisollini | 12:00 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I just want to say that i saw you last night on Living with Cancer and i was so intrigued! You are an amazing person and i look up to you in a big way! I lost my father to colon cancer in 2004 when he was only 45. I was only 17 then and although we had tryed to prepare for his death, it still came as a shock when i watched him take his last breathe. Watching the show last night really boosted my mood. Although you talked about some sad things i couldnt help but think about my father as you told your story. I remember his wonderful oncology nurse Linda and how much she meant to him, and i also remember those four hour treatments where the chemo would just drip...I was hooked as of last night i felt like many of the things you had experienced was a deja vu of what my father had and i had to know more! Hence why i have logged on to your blog. Your right it really is the little things in life that he thought about and shared with us that meant the world and while i sat here this morning to read what you had to say today i couldnt help but giggle! I saw that you are off to Hawaii and i am very excited for you but what made me giggle was when you mentioned that you owned Hawaiin shirts! My father had a closet full of them and would wear them everywhere from the ever so often family BBQ to nights out on the town so while this struck me as hilarious that another man understands this passion about these crazy shirts! all i have to say is AT LEAST you are going to Hawaii! I think my dad will be living vicariously
through you.
Have a great time Leroy!!!!!

Sent by Danielle | 12:02 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy - Thank you so much for an incredible thing you did for all of us affected by cancer. I can't imagine letting the cameras come into my life during those times that I feel most vulnerable - but so incredibly thankful you did. I cried throughout the entire program because it made me feel that all of the "crazy" ideas that run through our heads are "normal" for someone fighting the good fight. I watched it with my husband & I think he became tired of me exclaiming "yes - that's exactly how I feel!".

I am a 12 year survivor from my first melanoma diagnosis & 3 years post-diagnosis of my second stage IIIb melanoma. I am 38 years old with three children (19, 13 & 12). I am like all the others with children that were on your program last night. My first terrifying thought was I don't want my children to grow up without a mother.

I have one of the many dreaded types of cancer in which there is only one approved treatment. If that doesn't work, the doctors basically tell you that there is nothing else they can do. After watching your program, I have learned that you keep fighting & searching for someone else that is willing to help. After three surgeries & many months of adjuvent therapy (torture) - I am currently cancer-free. Like you, however, my doctors tell me that the odds are very high that it will return. As you said, I feel it's most likely there "looking for a place to live". Hopefully, real estate prices are just too high & it will remain homeless : )

We all learn to "live" with what I call the gorilla on our backs. My life will never be the same. Some bad, but also good. I can honestly say that I look at the world through completely different lenses now. I always appreciated beauty in nature, sunsets, the smile on a child's face...but now, I am absolutely aw-struck & overwhelmed by it to the point that there are no words to articulate it.

Thanks friend...you are making a difference in this world.

Sent by Michelle Murphy | 12:03 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,.. to see you speaking from your soul, to radio listeners was very moving and inspiring. Actually, seeing the words you spoke, "on the tv screen", gave me an insight of how my brother may be thinking.
My brother, at age 49, was diagnosed last July with lung cancer, Phase 4, with a tumor on his back. It has been a devasting experience for him and his wife, who married August 2000, a first marriage for them both. They have two beautiful daughters aged 4, and almost 3. My brother does want to see them grow! Thus, the awesome documentary by Ted Koeppel, is a New Hope On the Horizon! My brother has been told a couple of times, "there is no cure.".
Thus, finding Leroy Sievers Blog this morn', was inspiring, to say the least, when I proceeded to read the postings of the morning!
Kudos to Al Cato and Cathy Forsythe for insight and information...and the many other postings, I read this morning. God Bless you All with Hope.

Sent by Diane Hurley, Michigan | 12:09 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for sharing your self, your striggles, your hopes and dears and emotions with all of us last night.
You made a difference in my life and many others lives by doing so.
En-JOY your vacation, Leroy!
God Bless you.
Vivian

Sent by Vivian | 12:13 PM ET | 05-07-2007

So grateful to everyone involved in last night's production and to the Discovery Channel and, especially, NPR for presenting this show and the blog. While I was only a caregiver, I was on the journey. Lance was my husband's inspiration as a cyclist himself. He announced to his oncologist after coming back from the brink of death, "I have to be well enough to train for and ride in the Ride for the Roses." He was and he did. He rode two more years! He never really reached remission, but we never gave up hope and our journey was easier because of that hope. Our medical team had lots of hope -- never false hope -- clear and straight forward, but always positive. It made all of the difference.
Bless everyone and peace to all who responds to your blog today.

Sent by Deborah Compton | 12:14 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Wonderful Show last night. I do not have cancer nor have I had anyone in my family with it. Thank you for opening my eyes and reminding me to be thank ful for my good health and that of my family. GOD BlESS YOU

Sent by Jody Kepp | 12:16 PM ET | 05-07-2007

One more comment. (I think)
Those of us with lung cancer don't "deserve" it either. It is not like back in the day of Jesus on the earth when lepars were told their sin caused their illness. But smokers are made to feel that way. Do people really think that? Really?
Also, most people do not seem aware of the fact that one cancer can be in many places via metastisis. If lung cancer spreads to the brain it is still a lung cancer etc.... More should be told about this. A friend I made in a support group kept saying she had liver cancer because her lung cancer had spread to her liver. They are entirely different and the treatments are different as well.

Sent by Ann Cavalier | 12:18 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I am a colorectal cancer survivor/ I too have tumors in my lungs 4 very small in my right and 2 small ones in my left lung. I have been to University of Michigan, Mayo and Nih. Where I was in a clinical trial for a colorect cancer vaccine study. It didn't work.
Now I am in Grand Blanc, Mi. I really have faith in my Oncologist Dr.Paul Adams.We will talk about radiofreqency ablation.

I really enjoyed last nights show with Ted Koppel, you, Elizabeth Edwards and Lance Armstrong.
The sad part about the program was I told all my family and friends about it. But no one watched it. How disappointing no one watched it. I can't understand it . I am living with it,however they can't even watch something that is important to me. They are very scared I know. Fear is a very strong emotion. No one wants to go there. Cancer equates fear. Believe me if I had a chance I wouldn't have gone there either. I so enjoy your blogs. Talking is very freeing it is important to get the emotioms out. I too have cried bucket. I also have had days of feeling cancer light. However, you are right It never goes away. I is the silent under tone that follows you everywhere.
I would like to blog with others and talk of our hopes and fears. Is there a site that one can go to to talk about cancer other than yours.
Not that I don't enjoy your blog because I do.
Recently, I was taken off chemo because my cea was going up. I had a cat scan friday. NOw the wait!!!!! Thursday is an appointment with my Oncologist. We will see. I do not want to go through the down and out heavy duty chemo for the summer. You know you have only a so many summer in your life. I want my summeer chem free.... If I can.
Thank you again for the show last night, it is comforting to know that I'm not alone........... You did a great service to all of us survivors.

Be well and enjoy Hawaii.... and have a Mai ti for me........

Sent by Beth Morrison | 12:18 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I so enjoyed your show last night. I am a 2 years breast cancer survivor, but have a close friend at work with sarcoma and not a good outcome. I was very interested in your radiation treatment you talked about and we are looking into this for him. I understad they do this in Oklahoma also, we are in Seattle. Someone else at work has spent a fair amount of time looking into this already, but your show reinforced how great this can be. My friend just returned from Hawaii with his family, his first time there. He wanted to feel the warm sun, breeze and sand beneath his feet. And also spend some quality time with his wife, four kids and entire family.

I missed the first hour of your show, I will rewatch tonight. Thank you for doing this for "us"

Sent by Carol | 12:19 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Wonderful show last night. I wish there had been more of a discussion about Radio Frequency Ablation because I would bet that 95% of cancer patients have never heard of the procedure. And I assume their oncologists don't tell them about it either because they are generally only interested in drugs. An investigation into why this is so, would be a great benefit to the public.

Sent by Eileen Baum | 12:27 PM ET | 05-07-2007

My wife & I watched your show last night. I must tell you I felt that you were saying the same things that I have been saying to family and friends since I was diagnosed with cancer. You said so many things that I am thinking and feeling that it was scary. I said to my wife after the show was over that I was so disappointed that the show was not shown on local TV stations because it excluded many people who can't afford cable TV. The message is one that needs to be heard by every one. I was diagnosed with stage three prostate cancer in February and since I had no symptoms, this blind sided us. I find that your statement about how your life changes planning and schedule wise is hard for people that don't have cancer to understand. I want to thank you for doing this show. Great Job!

Sent by Tim Wise | 12:29 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Where can I send you money? I will buy you a mai tai!

Sent by Mr. Scott | 12:34 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy- I saw you on the Discovery Channel last night and am very glad you are doing so well given what you've been through! Keep up the great attitude. Best, Joe.

Sent by Joe Regan | 12:36 PM ET | 05-07-2007

LeRoy -
Thanks for last night's show. I'm looking for kidney specialists. This thing doesn't seem to want to take 'post' from me.

Sent by Andy Hickman | 12:36 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Thank you for the program. I am a prostate cancer patient (NO, I'm a cancer survivor!) Like many others, I was deeply moved by every word. By the end of the night, I was exhausted. I fell into bed and pleaded with my wife to get the physical she'd been postponing.

This morning brought an email that the sister of a dear friend had lost her fight with cancer. (A more effective punctuation of the oveall message is not possible.)

Enjoy your trip, life is for the living. (I will wear a Hawaiian shirt for you. Cheers!)

Sent by Don C. | 12:46 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,

Please just ditch the idea that you haven't lived a good enough life or done enough. You did more in one night to bring cancer out of the closet than most do in a lifetime.

I used to live in Hawaii and cry every time I see it from the air when I visit. It is the most beautiful place I have ever been. I don't know which island(s) you are going to, but if you go to the big island, have dinner at the Volcano Lodge on the edge of Volcano National Park. My best friend owns it...and they make great mai tais to go with the gourmet cuisine!

Thank you for the program last night. I've seen your picture, but didn't know you were such a teddy bear! Consider yourself hugged by an old lady who has come to admire you greatly.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:48 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Enjoy your holiday. My husband and I enjoyed "LIVING with Cancer." As a cancer survivor and Army reservist,I've been told I can't go to war. People are so afraid of cancer. They don't realize it is a fact in our life stories not our entire life story.

Sent by Sherri Kent | 12:48 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Your last comment,"..but I think I'll write early in the day. Before it's Mai Tai time.", is interesting. Since you were not positive/definite it implies that you might write late in the day, after Mai Tai time.
Now that might make for some interesting reading! Come on Leroy, give it a whirl, at least for one day out of your trip.
Don
PS I taped the show for any of our Support Group that may have missed it. Great program!

Sent by Don Winslow | 12:50 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I may have said Volcano Lodge when I meant to say Kilauea Lodge. If so, forgive the brain fart.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:50 PM ET | 05-07-2007

A terrific show last night. I didn't want to watch it because I was afraid it would remind me of something that I want and try to forget. My husband suggested that we watch it together and I am so glad that we did. Our stuggles began 3 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A new home, a new area, a new job, a new child--wham--a new diagnosis. How absolutely terrifying for everyone receiving the news. It does profoundly change people. For myself, I am more understanding, more sympathetic, and a much better listener. Thank your for sharing your story. It will make a difference to a lot of people just hearing your journey.

Sent by gloria | 12:52 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, Last night I cried tears for a man I didn't even know. I listened to your voice and heard your words and felt I got to know you. When Ted announced bad news and then went to commerical, I was thinking, if he comes back and says Leroy died before this documentary could be finished, I'm just going to burst into tears. I am so glad you are alive and I plan on visiting your blog. I work for a hospital and I hope to buy copies of the program on DVD for our patients and their families to watch. I learned so much and was deeply moved. What a wonderful friend you have in Ted Koppel. Thank you for sharing your story.

Sent by Anna Wilson | 12:52 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I stumbled over your blog a couple of weeks ago while googling "chemo brain". I was amazed! I thought "This man has been wandering around in my head!" I was diagnosed with Stage IV GBM brain cancer the first of December. Thank you for putting words to my thoughts and emotions. No matter what kind of cancer we have we all have a common bond. Maybe it is a finite length to our lives that is sooner than any of us wants or expected.
Enjoy Hawaii. I think I will go to Venice, buy a good bottle of wine and sit at some small cafe on some small side canal and watch the world go by. Keep on keeping on.

Sent by Gene | 1:07 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy -
I would never have watched last night's program had I not been initiated into the cancer ranks with news two days before this past Christmas that I had colorectal cancer. Up until that time I had spent 56 years in perfect health. I've been through the chemo, the radiation and the surgery, and am now going back on chemo for 5 1/2 months. Watching and listening to you last night I came to the conclusion that I might be wise to shed my private battle and become a bit more open about my situation. I was especially taken with your comments at the end of the program about the dilemna you found yourself in when greeting someone at a party and they asked how you were doing and you weren't sure whether or not she knew of your cancer. I've felt this awkwardness every day and "coming clean" and being more open will probably make it easier for me as well as others. It's not earth-shattering, but for me it's a step forward that I probably otherwise would not be taking without your experience, insight and willingness to share. Thanks!

Sent by Chuck Wielgus | 1:08 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Mr. Sievers, I watched the Ted Koppel interview last night and it was excellent. I have had breast cancer since 2000. I am currently being treated again. You did not seem open to any alternative treatments, but the medical profession does not have it all. Please read "Outsmart Your Cancer" by Tanya Harter Pierce. Don't shortchange yourself by relying entirely on medical. At the present time I am taking treatment out of the U. S. and I am seeing many people who were written off as "no hope" patients being helped greatly. Please consider this. If I could talk to Mrs. Edwards, Tony Snow, etc., I would surely encourage them to consider alternatives.

Sent by Irene Metzger | 1:09 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

I have followed your blog for almost a year now. It helped me through my chemotherapy and radiation. I just completed my radiation about a month ago and I have no evidence of cancer.

Your blog have made a difference. Thank you. Thank you for sharing and thank you for your eloquence. 5 was crying while watching you on the show. My heart goes out to you and your wife for being so brave and strong.

Enjoy your Mai Tai. I will order a Mai Tai and drink to your health. Salut!

Sent by Myrna | 1:13 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you Leroy for opening up your life and your experience with cancer to the rest of us on the show last night. It was an amazing three hours. I am so happy for you that you found this new technology to get rid of the tumors and that you can go to Hawaii with a smile on your face! You've earned those Mai Tais! I go in Wednesday for my 7th chemotherapy treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I am the mother of two small children, so Elizabeth Edwards words about having cancer when you have children hit very close to home. Although I have a very good prognosis, there are still 1000 people a year that die of Hodgkin's. That and the risk of a secondary cancer are the elephants in the room for me. After treatment #8, I will have a PET scan, then I will have radiation treatments. Because I had lymph node involvment in the chest, I will get radiation to the chest which makes me much more likely to get breast cancer down the road. Add to that that my mother is a breast cancer survivor and my risk goes up even more. This is the cross all cancer survivors must bear. Even if we are "cured" we are never truly free from it.

Even though no one would ever want cancer, it does have it's benefits. It's given me permission to speak up for myself more than ever. Although I want my life to be as normal as possible, I also want to enjoy the present. I don't want to argue with my husband over spending $200 on new pillows for my screen porch where I can rest and recuperate after treatments. I want it to look nice and I want it to look nice RIGHT NOW! I'm not going to sit around and wait so much anymore. It's not like I stopped contributing to my IRA or anything, but I have a more balanced outlook. My husband doesn't always get that, but I sure as hell don't lay awake at night worrying about how he feels about that $200 anymore.

Have a great trip and THANK YOU for the show last night. Aloha,

Sara Behnke
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Sara Behnke | 1:16 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Bill (my partner) and I watched and cried, not only for you but for us! We understand what you r going thru, Bill was diagnosed 7/05 and you have expressed everything he's wanted, but couldn't! I think and hope now we will be able to discuss the "taboo" subjects we've been avoiding. Could you pls give your audience and update and maybe include a portion on caregivers, and the uninsured cancer victims??? I will continue to read your blog and pray for you and all cancer victims and families. Thank you again for your story and GOD BLESS!

Sent by EMILIA ROSADO | 1:26 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy, I found out on Thursday that my cancer(dx.2004) had metastasized. Not shocking, because I have an aggressive form of cancer and my tumor markers have been sky high.
Processing this sad news, I thought of you. Be like Leroy, I thought. Went off to a wedding in the mountains of Virginia and enjoyed being with dear friends. Now the biopsies start, the surgery and the recuperation. Watching you last evening was inspiring---you looked handsome in the navy sports coat! Thanks for the show, the blog and for making a difference in how I face this next roller coaster ride. Enjoy Hawaii--pack the new sport coat-it will go nicely over your Hawaiian print shirts.

Sent by Elizabeth | 1:38 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
We enjoyed your program last night. I noticed the man with testicular cancer who asked if there was anyone matching cancer survivors with newly diagnosed patients. Here in Huston we have been doing this with great success since 1990 through an organization called CanCare. We train and match volunteers by age, sex, and diagnosis to offer HOPE to these patients through survivors of their type of cancer. It is a very strong message and many of the patients become volunteers. More information is available on our web site CanCare.org.
Thank you for what you are doing.
abob aboyd

Sent by Dr. Bob Boyd | 1:50 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hi, I saw a good part of the "Living with Cancer" program last night and appreciated seeing what people had to say. I've been a survivor of ovarian cancer for about 26 years, and it was caught at a time when it wasn't terminal. I prayed to the Lord about it and worked on both body and soul, learned about how the human body works, and focused on my immune system. Details can be found at http://www.soulwellmall.com/cancer.html and I also have a commentary page at the site on boosting one's immune system, and I can be reached from there. God bless you all! Monica

Sent by Monica | 1:55 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy - I am fairly certain I have read every blog entry you have made, but I do not recall you mentioning how you support yourself. Do you live off of disability insurance? Were you wealthy before your cancer? Are you supported by a family member? Seems like finances are also a part of dealing with cancer. Thanks and keep up the great work!

Sent by John in Bethesda | 2:18 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I really enjoyed the documentary last night. Truthfully, I was afraid to watch it, probably afraid to face my own history in watching someone die with cancer as well as afraid of my own mortality. One thing that struck me, that no one really touched on during the Q&A was the being treated as "walking dead" syndrome Lance Armstrong spoke of in his interview. The media in this country really emphasized that with the recurrence of Elizabeth Edwards' cancer, which is a shame, because she is living with cancer, not sitting around waiting to die. Thank you so much for the gift of this wonderful documentary. It was amazing.

Sent by chris | 2:21 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience last night. I watched in Wisconsin as my father watched in Illinois. It was important to me that he watch the program to validate his feelings, his worries, his nightmares. My father was diagnosed with liver and pancreatic cancer three and a half years ago. The tumors have spread to the lungs, the abdomen, the lymph nodes, etc.... He originally was given about 3-6 months to live. Here we are nearly 4 years later and he is still with us. As you said last night, people look at my dad and do not know he is ill even though on the inside cancer is just taking over. My dad has always been able to keep cracking jokes even in the worst of times. I saw that in you last night and I think it is such a great quality. I am unsure that if it were not for my dad's sarcasm and stubbourness that he would still be here today. I love my dad with everything I am and it just kills me to know of his situation. The best I can do is be there for him and keep him smiling and laughing at the little things in life to keep our focus of the big things. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It helped me greatly.

Sent by April Kovara | 2:25 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you so much for expressing so many of your honest feelings and sharing your thoughts and experiences in your journey with cancer. My brother is dealing with it right now and has for many years. His spirit is indominatable and he does try to LIVESTRONG. I too have been diagnosed with MDS, Myelodysplastic Syndrome. Thank you for adding your strength and helping us understand how important it is to just LIVE each day. You have and are doing a wonderful service for us all. Thank you so much for the program last night and have a Wonderful time in Hawaii! Enjoy!

Sent by Barbara | 2:26 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Having lost my mother to stomach cancer in September, it was with great trepidation that I tuned in to "Living With Cancer" last night. I am so glad that I did. I had so many unresolved issues regarding my mother and the way she handled her treatment and her preparation for the end that was to come that I thought I would never have answers to. Listening to Leroy made me see some of the things my mother did/did not do in a whole new light and made me see things from her perspective - not merely mine as someone being left behind. Thank you Leroy for giving me some piece of mind that I thought I would never have. I admire your spirit and will keep you in my prayers.

Sent by Tracy Campbell | 2:30 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, it was a pleasure "meeting" you on the Ted Koppel special last night. I've read your blog sporadically since being diagnosed with lung cancer last September, but now you're firmly established at the top of my bookmarks along with lchelp.org and onctalk.com. I hope you have a great vacation in the 50th State. Visiting Hawaii is NOT on my "to do" list -- but only because I've lived here the past 35 years!

When I started my cancer journey last year from the family doctor to the pulmonologist to the thoracic surgeon to the oncologist, I tried to convey that I was not interested in outdated prognosis numbers, but only in exploring the best treatment for my condition at the time. To their credit, no physician has ever offered those statistics, I've never looked for them, I still don't know them, and I don't care. I'm an individual and they have no real meaning for me or any other individual. My goal, which now seems achievable, is to keep this thing beat back until I'm old enough to die of something else. That's probably the best I can hope for, and it's good enough! Best wishes and Aloha.

Sent by Ned | 2:35 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy, I don???t have cancer, I have Auto Immune Hemolytic Anemia, a rare blood disorder, Pseudo Tumor Ceribri, Hepatitis C and an unidentifiable fungus in my lungs is the latest diagnoses. During my last trip to the hospital I was in a coma for 3 weeks. I found your story to be of inspiration to me. I have nearly died three times in the last 14 years. I don't think I can go through another diagnoses, but I know I will handle it as I always have, with courage, strength and a sense of humor. I refuse to die and I will continue to fight and I hope you will do the same. Best of luck!

Sent by Janine Licausi | 2:38 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
My name is Lindsey. I am 20 years old, and I happen to see the documentary last night. I sat there through the whole show and cried. I couldn't believe how amazingly strong you are. It is almost unbelievable. You have allowed me to understand that life is precious no matter what, whether we are scared of dying or we know that we have about 20 more years ahead of us. I realized last night that cancer is a really unforgetable scare for not only the person that has the cancer but the loved ones of the person. I wanted to write you because you have opened my eyes to realize that you only live life once, you don't get second chances after death, and you have to make the most of the time you have.
My grandfather passed away in july 2002 with stomache cancer, it took a big toll on me because he was my hero. I didn't think I would ever be able to forgive God for taking him away from me, but I did. I know that my grandfather like you wasn't afraid of dying. He knew that no matter what he was either gonna "die from the cancer or from getting hit by a bus." those words really struck me because he felt the same way. I just want you to know that you are an inspiration to me and i will try to write you everyday! I hope you have a wonderful vacation! And make sure you have a drink for me!!! I hope that your scans forever show you'll be ok, make sure you keep me posted, cause I'll be watching you and praying the best for you!
Forever your friend,
Lindsey

Sent by Lindsey Paulk | 2:46 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I have heard your commentary on NPR, and watched the terrific show last night. It home for me, I have Stage 3 ovarian cancer diagnosed in 05, had surgery and chemo and was doing well. Then then a scan showed it was back. I had surgery 5 weeks ago and last night was the night before restarting chemotherapy, I was feeling very sorry for myself, however after hearing your story, Lance Armstrong's story and Elizabeth Edwards, It turned me around an put things back into perspective. I can do this again, and i need to. Every point you made, I have thought about, and it is hard to have permission to verbalize them to others, people do not fully understand.
I got angry at my sister once when she told me, WE were going to beat this cancer. I told her it was mine, and I wasn't so sure, but I was going to try to do everything I could to do so.
Enough you have a great vacation in that beautiful state of Hawaii. I love it there myself, it is just the hours in the plane that get to me. This is a wonderful gift you give to us, Thank you

Sent by Rita | 3:03 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I was moved by the telecast program on cancer Sunday night and felt compelled to read your blog. Wish you a wonderful vacation and drink an extra mai-tai for yourself --- you earned it.

Job well done on the telecast. You cannot imagine how many people were enkindled with renewed hope.

Sent by Richard Rysiewski | 3:16 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Last night's program on the Discovery Channel was excellent. As an onocology nurse I am grateful to the recognition given to the role of RN's in cancer care. As a caregiver I felt it was a real window to the world of cancer to those who have not had to look inside before. I am so thrilled for you and the others on the panel that surviving and living is exactly what you are able to do. Enjoy Hawaii you so deserve it!!! My husband was diagnosed one year ago with an inoperable brain tumor. The initial treatment stopped working after 7 months and his tumor has grown unfortunately brain cancer is all about location, location, location. He hasn't been able to work since his diagnosis, he is now often confused and can't be left alone. He has great difficulty expressing himself. Luckily we discussed the hard issues early in his disease. We have three children under 21 and it is the most painful thing watching their Dad slowly change from this terrible disease. There is no cure just keeping the beast at bay. No, I can't say I am glad this came into our life...I hate this disease and I hate what it has done to my family. Thank you for helping others to understand it.
Karen

Sent by Karen Morin | 3:19 PM ET | 05-07-2007

My name is Dave. I am 43-years old and was diagnosed with esthesioneuroblastoma on June 7, 2005. I had to have major sinus, eye and brain surgery on July 13, 2005 at University of Pennsylvania to remove these tumors. This was followed six weeks later by six weeks of IMRT radiation to my head and neck. That was followed by four rounds of in-patient chemotherapy. It was supposed to be six rounds but I got so sick from the chemo that they decided that four rounds was sufficient. No data to support the benefits of six versus four rounds as this is such a rare cancer in abults.

I have two children and a wife. My boys were 8 and 10 when I got diagnosed. I will never forget my doctor telling me that I had cancer. Like you, I knew I was in trouble when he asked if my wife was in the waiting room. I heard him say esthesioneuroblastoma and I didn't hear anything after that. What the hell is an aesthesioneuroblastoma? I battled depression for about a month or so after the diagnosis but before the surgery. I was certain I was going to die and leave a wife and two children.

I remember driving home from the doctor's office. My mom was watching our kids. I had to tell her that I had cancer (which had claimed her mother and several siblings). I remember telling her that "I am not brave and I am not strong". How could I ever endure this treatment? Much like you stated in the show, you kind of learn to do whatever you have to do. It's not so much bravery as it is necessity. I was afraid of needles. I hadn't had a blood draw in years just to avoid getting a needle stick.

I am very lucky. I am very much alive and very healthy presently. I gained all my wieght back (65 lbs.)and have returned to my "regular life". I ski again. I play racquetball again. I coach my son's baseball team again.

Somewhere along the way during my treatments I started to believe that I was going to live. Then the ordeal became an issue of grinding it out from day to day. For ten months you just had to say - it's going to get better, just keep going.

I was mesmerized by last night's show. I found myself constantly nodding my head in agreement with the things being said by the audience and by the panelists. My chemo nurses were the best. My neurosurgeon was the best. My radiation oncologist was/is a wonderful example of humanity. My maxillofacial dentist had a heart of gold. I never realized how many people cared about me until I got sick. It changed my life in a positive direction that likely never would have happened without becoming ill. I met so many people and made so many friends.

To me, cancer was the great equalizer. I am pretty much a country boy who was thrust into life in inner-city Philadelphia during most of my treatments. Cancer doesn't care if you are rich or poor. If you are black or white. If you are young or old. If you have a doctorate or if you are in preschool. Every day I would sit and wait for my radiation treatment. Typically they would run 1-2 hours late. Almost everyone in that waiting room knew everyone else's story. In a way, it was like a giant group therapy session every day for six weeks. You didn't have to explain the fear or pain or anxiety to these people. They were living it right beside you. Politics makes strange bedfellows. But cancer makes stranger bedfellows.

I admire your courage for sharing your story. I also respect your wife's (?) decision to not participate on camera. That is her personal choice and nobody elses.

I must disagree with your assessment that you are not a hero, though. You are a hero. So am I. So is everyone who goes through this - caregiver or patient. You cannot be weak and go through this.

Like you, I too have cried more in the last two years than I did in ages. September 11th made me cry a lot because it made me think that evil was beating good on our planet. Too much hate and not enough love and understanding. It sounds corny, but it's true - hate rarely has ever solved anything.

Ironically, just yesterday I found out that my best friend has advanced prostate cancer. Things do not look optimistic. His wife called me to talk to me. I told her that I owe it to her and Joe to be there for her any time any way I can. So many people did so many nice things for me when I was sick that I could spend the rest of my life trying to pay back these favors and never get even.

Thanks for having the courage to share your story. I pray that you continue to endure. Enjoy as much of your life as you can. If that is 25 more years so be it. If it is 25 more days, then try to enjoy them as much as your can.

Sent by Dave Ulery | 3:25 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you. I hesitated about watching the program last night, however I was so glad I did. Much of what you said in the broadcast has passed around in my own head. You articulated the daily changing thoughts and feelings of coping with the effects of the disease on a considered life. Thank you for your ponderings and for sharing it all.

I was diagnosed with Her2 positive breast cancer in late July 2006 and immediately started researching my options. This cancer accounts for about 25% of the breast cancers and is more agressive. However, new treatment options seem to be available with increasing frequency these days, and I hope I am fortunate enough to benefit from the new treatments I have received. Even three years ago the options were fewer and outcomes more frequently deadly.

Like you, I find the nurses, doctors and other healthcare professionals to be honest, kind and warm people who do what they can to lessen our discomfort and anxiety. I am grateful that so many fine people choose oncology for their healthcare careers.

Thanks to Discovery and NPR for the in- depth coverage of this topic that touches so many of us. And thank you, Leroy, for verbalizing your thoughts so truly. Enjoy the mai tais and warm breezes of Hawaii with the satisfaction of job well done and well appreciated.

Sent by Martha Anderson | 3:27 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hey LeRoy,
I watched the entire show last night. It was really heartfelt. What an amazing ride you have been on. I am a 2 time breast cancer survivor and also a friend of david and nancy dow.
Have a wonderful vacation in Hawaii..and have lots of mai-tais and wear all your hawaiian shirts!

take good care

Mary Kay McLoughlin

Sent by Mary Kay McLoughlin | 3:35 PM ET | 05-07-2007

First--Thank you Leroy for your incredible sharing last night. I will probably watch it again tonight. So often I felt you were voicing exactly what I feel.

Second--I too am headed of for a vacation. To the Galapagos! All my life I have wanted to go there--but, as stage IV lung cancer as a diagnosis--I have stopped putting it off. Live each day--as you said last night.

Sent by Sally Yeo | 3:40 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for sharing your story and having the courage to lay bare the pain and emotional up and downs and turnarounds inherent in living with cancer.

I live in a small southern Oregon town. My breast cancer was missed through several sets of mammograms and ultrasounds. Then, after finding the tumors myself, I couldn't convince my doctor's schedulers that I really did need to get in. The cancer got the upper hand.

Although Medicare is my primary, I had the could fortune to have secondary, employer insurance that picked up some of the "housing" costs for "out-of-town" treatment and so I am now under the very able hands of oncologists See Phan and K. Horst at the Stanford Cancer Institute. Although I thank God each day for this opportunity, I feel guilty that I am getting this chance while others are not.

Through your story I learned that hearing the truth from my doctors and still maintaining hope may not be as difficult a task as I had originally thought. And, like Elizabeth Edwards, I'd like to know that while my doctors are imparting the truth they are reaching into the medical toolbox for the best early diagnostic tools and treatments that are available.

But what is in that toolbox? Before "Living with Cancer" I'd never heard of some of the treatments discussed. When you get back from Hawaii, had you and Ted Koppel thought of doing more "Living with Cancer" specials. I'd love to know more about innovative cancer treatments offered by the nation's premiere cancer centers. Knowing what is in the toolbox helps kindle hope and goes a long ways to equalize the opportunity for all people to receive the best medical care.

Finally, like all three of you (Leroy, Lance and Elizabeth), I do not know what the future holds, but thanks to you, Ted Koppel and the Discovery Channel, I feel less isolated and alone in facing my life with cancer.

Appreciatively,

Cheryl Walker

Sent by Cheryl Walker | 3:41 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I wish you a vacation full of huma-huma-nuka-nuka-apuahas, breezes, tropical flowers, and of course mai tais. In spirit of enjoying life, I wish you well! Americans don't take nearly enough vacations and I am one of them.

Well, here is my survivor daughter Carli's webpage:
www.caringbridge.org/wa/carli.

Thanks again for the show last night. I wonder how big your blog is going to get : )

Sent by Erin Waterman | 3:53 PM ET | 05-07-2007

ENJOY!! I went to the Rivera Mayo in Mexico in March! Spent time on the beach and by the pool, drinking pina coladas, and thinking this must be what heaven is like. Through our cancer treatments we've been to hell, so enjoy a bit of heaven!

Sent by Jean Balough | 3:56 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Thank you for sharing your story with the world. Cancer is heavy in my family. I lost my Father to Colon Cancer last year and it will most likely come for me one day. If and when it does I hope to have the same courage you have displayed and hopefully the same sense of humor.

Thank you again and enjoy those Mai Tais.

Sent by Ryan Cole | 4:00 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Your the Man! Great show! Kudos to you & Ted. Thanks for your sharing. The answer to your question "Have I been a good enough man?" I think has been answered with a resounding "Yes!"

If your visiting the Big Island on your Hawaii trip I have a 2nd home that may be available for you & Lori's use if you want. Also happy to hook you up w/ private tours with my connections (Volcano, botanical gardens, farms etc.). Or at the very least my friend's recipe for mojitos drink (2 rums...). Better than my mai tais in my not so humble opinion. Keep up the interesting post. Glad you've made it this far! Anyway, best regards & wishes on your continued progress & to Lori for putting up w/ under all conditions ;) . Sincerely, Rick & Mary Ann Olson

Sent by Rick Olson | 4:01 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

Let me know if you need a surfboard, I'll lend you mine. I missed your show last night since I was on a plane back from Oahu but am hoping my brother taped it for me.

Aloha,

Adam

http://www.adambeldycki.com

Sent by Adam | 4:02 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Let me add one more thank-you for your show last night. I was diagnosed one year ago this month with Stage IV breast cancer with bone metastises. There were so many things you said that made me remember hey I felt the same way or I had that same thought. But best you made me realize that was ok to think or feel the way I did and do feel. For the time being I am called "cancer free" but I know in the back of mind that it can and mostly probably will come back even though the chemo worked to shrink my tumors and permited me to go ahead with the mastectomy. I continue on Zometa treatment for the bone involvement just every 3 months now and the daily Femara pill. Always a reminder that I am surviving the dreaded C word. You have reminded me that it is ok to get depressed and feel alone with this disease even surrounded by my husband, son and many co-workers who offered unending support even when I thought it was just too much to go through another day of chemo.

So this year I will celebrate a new birthday and that is the day my scans came back clear, well, at least clear for now. Enjoy your trip, mine is to the Grand Canyon to scratch off one more thing on what seems a very long to-do list. Thank you again.

Sent by Helen | 4:15 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Just look at the response to your blog! AMAZING! I was exhausted after working all weekend but wouldn't have missed the show for the world (taped it for my husband, also a cancer survivor, as he was away) Thanks so much for bringing us together and have a great time in Hawaii!

Peace,

Betsey

Sent by betsey kuzia | 4:19 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Every day i read your blog and there is usually about 40 or so comments, so i was taken aback to see 105 when i logged on! Perhaps your TV programme reached a lot of people. I am glad to hear you are going to Hawaii and in such good health. I hope that you have a great time. I was tempted to say "have a mai tai for me", but seeing as everyone else is saying it...!!*!!
Maybe you can spare a moment to raise your glass,... but to know that 106+ people are thinking of you.
Take care
JJ

Sent by JJ | 4:22 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I truly enjoyed watching Ted Koppel's "Living with Cancer". I have a rare form of salivary gland cancer called Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma. It was well under control for 10 years. It has now metastisized to my liver and is not a type of cancer which responds to any type chemotherapy. You being able to share your thoughts and outlook of your life dealing with cancer, brought that lump in my throat feeling as I watched the show last night. Many of your mudane thoughts of whether to buy new clothes or see an eye doctor are quite to similar to what I have thought about these past few months. It makes you feel more human to know others share those same thoughts, some gloomy and some happy.
Enjoy the Mai Tais and thank you for sharing a very personel part of your life on the show last night.

Sent by Adele Mahoney | 4:23 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for going on the "Living with Cancer" program to represent the millions of people struggling with cancer. There is "hope" for you.
I am writing a book about cancer treatment programs that most people are unaware of. The problem is due to a lack of communication in the medical community. This is about solid research in well known medical schools that works. It is about some very important clinical trials that have been extremely successful, with minimal side effects. There are two major programs in these medical schools that have shown this type of success. One is "Immunotherapy", which trains your immune system to recognize your cancer & destroy it. The other is "Virotherapy", which uses specific viruses to target cancer cells. A good example is the "Reovirus" clinical trial at the Calgary Alberta Medical school for "brain tumors". They inject the tumor with the "Reovirus", a simple RNA cold virus & it targets & destroys the cancer cells, without affecting the normal cells. They have a wonderful animated website, which shows how this works.
Please look this up, for you could help influence many people to find a road to recovery.
Sincerely,
Ben

Sent by Benjamin Holston | 4:25 PM ET | 05-07-2007

How inspiring the show was! I do not have cancer (as far as I know anyways) but I am always inspired by pure human spirit and hope. I hate it when I hear someone say they were given X amount of time to live! So I think the phrase you use "living with Cancer" Sounds much better.... I have a new one for you to use.. " I have cancer but it doesnt have me ! "

take care and God bless!

Sent by Sabrina Albrecht | 4:34 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Mr. Siever's

A few weeks ago I saw the commericial for your show, as I was sitting next to my 12 year old Son's bed in the hospital. I immediately got a lump in my throat when I heard you say, "I'm not ready to stop living." You see for over 6 years now I've been praying for my only Son to continue living. When he was 6 years old and they found the Wilm's tumor cancer, they told me take him on a trip, he has six months. The cancer has returned once, taking one of his kidneys, attacking his liver, taking most of colon, spreading to his lungs, abdomen... My only Son has been through chemo 2 times, over a year each time, maxed out on radiation, and has had over 8 surgeries.

Cancer has caused my Wife, Family, and me a world of problems, but the number one thing it has done is, it has brought all of us closer with God! We know God is good all the time even if your only Son has cancer.

I forced myself to watch the show and found myself crying. For one the pain of your story and knowing exactly what your talking about, and the fear it brought back.

My Wife and I have said a million times and have prayed that we could have the cancer instead of our Son.

Know Sir, we will now pray for you to.

Sent by Jason Colyer | 4:48 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I am SOOO happy for you going on a real vacation to Hawaii. . . it's so beautiful there. I'm so sorry that I missed the broadcast last night and just checked with Discovery and they don't have any immediate plans to re-broadcast it. Do you know how I can get a copy of it?

Thanks and Good Luck!
Margo

Sent by Margo Gerber | 4:49 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
I saw your show with Ted Koppel last night. Many of the emotions and feelings you spoke about From your diagnosis to your treatment were the same as I experienced during my treatment for prostate cancer.
This is the first time I have put in writing any feelings I have about being a "High Risk Cancer Patient". Why did I take so long to do so? I don't know. I don't think I am in denial, but maybe I am. I have prostate cancer. Why it happened to me I can't say. No one in my family as far back as I could trace on both sides have had this disease. I am one of six boys. None of my brothers have it. They rushed for checkups as soon as I was diagnosed to confirm that they were clean.
I was 53 when I heard the news. I had no symptoms that one might feel should accompany cancer. I had no pain. I was not sick or weak. I was a healthy person who worked out regularly at a gym. The idea that I might have cancer was far from my mind. I had a slightly elevated PSA score a year before but a biopsy had come back negative, so I was sure that this new biopsy, initiated by another elevated PSA score would also come back negative.
My doctor called on a Sunday morning to say that he wanted to tell me as soon as he received the results of my biopsy. I wished he had called the next day, to call on a weekend means something terrible, right? It was like a gut punch. It took my breathe away. I was in a daze until I met with him on Tuesday.
He covered my Gleason score, what they considered the stage the cancer was at and gave me an enormous amount of literature to digest. I vowed, at that moment, to become the best educated cancer patent ever. (And I did research prostate cancer until only a doctor could have known more). I asked him what would happen if I elected to do nothing, no surgury, no radiation or no drugs. The next thing he told me was like a second blow to the midsection. He said based on the Gleason score, the agression of the tumor, and the cancer stage, I would possibly live four years, the first two relatively symptom free, the last two in agony.
19 Months later, after chemo therapy and starting a two year androgen deprivation therapy program, I am biochemically cancer free.
I went through the nausea, hair loss and pain, plus the side affects from the hormone therapy, to reach this point. I am told that I will always be a cancer patient, that the cancer is still there somewhere and that I am likely to die from the disease instead of any other cause. How soon, no one can tell me. My Oncologist said I could relapse and die in a year or last for twenty, but most probably fall somewhere between. I don't know what end of that spectrum it will be but it is weird to know the probable cause of my death and the approximate time. Before, time seemed to stretch into the future so far I couldn't see the end. Now there is a finite wall out there that I will smash into with lethal result, and I can see it from here.
I am not depressed when I consider my death. Maybe, because there is a enough uncertainty as to the timing I am rationalizing to myself that life will continue to go on. I am more concerned with the pain my death will cause my loved ones than with how it affects me. I can come to grips with not being here, I think. I have a harder time dealing with the effect it will have on my family.
I continue to work and carry on life as normal as I can. And some days I almost forget.

Sent by Ernie | 4:59 PM ET | 05-07-2007

"Living with Cancer" came at the right time for our family. My father was recently diagnosed with a very agressive type of cancer. Unfortunately, he was misdiagnosed and 12 weeks elapsed while it spread. Anyway, we are moving forward and trying to get him the best care possible. I was so impressed with the team of doctors that worked with you at Johns Hopkins. We have been to two well known cancer hospitals and for some reason we can't seem to find that kind of compatability and compassion with our doctors. I would appreciate the names of the doctors that assisted in your recovery. We are desperate for some direction. Thank you for the hope and inspiration given to my family by you and the others on the show. The disease makes Elizabeth & lance real people who must cope with the same problems that we all have to deal with. The show humanized the plight of millions of people who are battling cancer. I smiled, and cried throughtout the show, but I also came away with a feeling of hope and a different attitude about life. Thank You and enjoy your Mai-Tai's!

Sent by Dora | 5:18 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I watched "Living with Cancer" last night mainly because I've missed you & Ted Koppel since you both left "Nightline". I recall when you were out for the colon cancer, but I had no idea what you've been thru since you resigned from ABC. I'm sorry to learn this but am most appreciative of you & Mr. Koppel doing this program, along w/Elizabeth Edwards & Lance Armstrong. I've never had cancer but have friends who are survivors and have lost a few friends to cancer. I've learned more about living from those friends than anyone else. The rest of us tend to complain about the most minor things... I try not to do that anymore. I've registered for your e-mail so that I can now keep up w/you. I also watch faithfully for Ted's specials on Discovery Channel. May God continue to bless you and you most certainly will be in my thougths & prayers.

Sent by Rebecca Weber | 5:28 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I tried to post this morning to say how "worth the wait" it was to finally see the Discovery Program and my computer burped and it didn't work. So, I thought I would try later. I didn't realize it would be over 140 posts later. What could be a better tribute to what you have done with your commentaries and with the blog to create a community. The special last night served to open our ranks even more. Congratulations to you and Ted Koppel for a thought provoking and moving program. It was so satisfying to finally put a face to your words. And even better, you were here to view it too. Have a Mai Tai for me in Hawaii, you deserve it. Be sure to send us all a postcard and don't forget the sunscreen.

Sent by Chris | 5:41 PM ET | 05-07-2007

It took me a while to figure out why I was depressed after watching Living With Cancer. I finally realized that it was the oncologist's attitude. It was so passive and pessimistic--not truth in any sense. Leroy, you were lucky that you got the bone metastasis and found a radiologist who could help you with the lung tumors. Your oncologist would have just let you suffer, going from chemo to chemo.

My oncologist is the same. I've got metastatic breast or ovarian cancer (they aren't sure which) and have been on chemo the last 3 1/2 years. I'm being treated at at great center, UCSF, but each center has it's specialties. I've found other successful treatments, but they are generally across the country--and my oncologist is generally pessimistic about them.

I wish there had been more attention to new treatments. Right now my money is on a treatment that developed outside the medical community by John Kanzius, an owner of radio stations. When John had leukemia, he felt so badly about the kids getting chemotherapy he was thinking there had to be a better way to treat cancer. When he was up all night on the steroids he was given, he started thinking about how radio waves harmlessly pass through the human body unless one is wearing metal. They burn wherever metal touches the body.

It's already known that cancer is more sensitive to heat, but hypothermia hurts normal cells too. Radiofrequency ablation (what you got) is invasive and heats areas of the body, but doesn't specifically target cancer cells.

When Richard Smalley, who got the Nobel prize for nanoparticles, heard about what Kanzius was doing, he realized that if he could create nanoparticles with metal that could be taken up only by cancer cells, Kanzius could use his invention to send radiofrequency waves through the body to kill only cancer cells. (btw, Richard Smalley died of cancer last Oct--too late for him). Two sets of researchers started studying this. Dr. David Geller at Pittsburg Med Center and Steve Curely, an oncology surgeon at MD Anderson.

Steve Curley gave a presentation last Saturday. The cell culture results will come out in journals in the next few months. He reported that the large animal studies have also had extraordinary results. Only the cancer cells are killed. There appears to be no pain and the animals' bodies eliminate the destroyed cancer cells without problems. Potentially, unlike chemo and radiation, this treatment could be applied again and again without problems as it only affects cancer cells. The big issue is going to be to create nanoparticles that only cancer cells pick up. I'm not sure how they do that yet. Curley says he can't say until the journal articles are published. Curley says it might be two years before human subject experiments will be allowed. This seems a crime to me. There ought to be hundreds of centers focusing on this.

Advances have been so slow in cancer. I was impressed by the activism of AIDS patients who got new treatments ready for testing very fast. I wish Discovery would do a program on how to help speed this testing up. It could benefit people with many different types of cancer.

Sent by Jill Caire | 5:46 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,

I remember when you wrote to all of us who were Nighline e-mail subscribers to inform us of your original cancer diagnosis. We all watched and prayed and cheered when it appears you had successfully emerged from that scare. Then -- no more Nightline as we knew it, no more e-mails and though I am an NPR supporter, I am not a frequent listener. So it was a great shock in flipping past the Discover Channel in order to catch a rerun of Chris Matthews Sunday show that I glimpsed Ted Koppel and realized he was talking to YOU. The subject matter, the reality of what had happened in the intervening years took my breath away. I never did see Chris Matthews, I watched your show, barely breathing though parts of it so fearful this had an ending that would make me profoundly sad. The remission was beyond wonderful and my prayers will be that you are here on this planet for decades, not merely years. You have made a difference, and continue to enrich the lives of those of us who know you only by your written and now spoken words. I have signed up for your blog and hope never to be without the words and thoughts and humor of Leroy Sievers again.

Sent by Elizabeth Barrett | 5:47 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hi Leroy-
I am not a cancer patient, but the spouse of a cancer patient. Mike, my husband, was diagnosed with a rare cancer 2 years ago. Our good news recently as well was a clean scan, so we can definitely relate to the "cautious optimism" referred to in last night's program.

I appreciate that your wife did not participate in the documentary (I know she was asked about it in the Q&A). I spend half my time as the spouse of a cancer patient, the other half trying to be a "normal" person. I was glad the show only focused on the patient, because it gave me the opportunity to sit back and really appreciate what my husband is going through, not necessarily what "we" are going through.

You have impacted us both greatly. We can relate to your words and your commentaries and blogs have been cathartic for us, and especially for my husband.

So, thank you. Enjoy your vacation. I absolutely cannot think of anyone else who deserves this one!

Sincerely,
Melanie (Denver, CO)

Sent by Melanie McClanahan | 5:50 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005. We caught it early, stage 1. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

I started blogging in 2004. When I was first diagnosed, I searched out the existing livejournal breast cancer communities and joined a couple.

Just where I needed to be.

I got incredible support from everyone on my friend's list, but the breast cancer communities kept me balanced. The support was immediate, sensitive and no nonsence.

I have several friends who went through chemo and radiation at the same time I did. We still correspond. There are friends going back for chemo for the third or fourth time. Hope is never far away, humor is our strength. There are friends who have been diagnosed very young. They are the most inspiring. They are going to kick cancer's *ss, I tell you.

I watched "Living with Cancer", last night. Thank you for sharing your story. You are blessed to be in a position to educate so many...and using that blessing wisely.

A sign I saw at the Seattle Cancer and Wellness Center a while back. I can't remember it exactly, I have chemo brain, after all:

It isn't you have learned you are going to die.
It's you've learned you are alive.

Walk in peace and beauty. Enjoy Hawaii!

Sent by Stephanie | 5:52 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Well (!), after hearing about Radio Frequency Ablation, I must say, I am not as scared for my husband, who was diagnosed in February '07 with Stage IV NSCLC with mets to bone and brain. Right now he is taking 150 mgs of Tarceva everyday and is having much success. However, some people become resistant to Tarceva and hopefully, if that happens to him, he can have success with RFA. I wonder if he would be a candidate and certainly I will question his oncologist. I am writing to thank all of the people responsibile for "Living With Cancer". What inspiration your show has given us. A special "Thank You" to Mr. Sievers for sharing. Wishing you health, always. Robin W.

Sent by Robin Wilkie | 6:01 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy -- You have asked yourself if you have made a difference. You did to me.

Sent by Barbara | 6:01 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Mr. Seivers:

I watched as much of your story with Ted Koppel as I could. Sorry, but a month ago, I thought cancer was something that someone else gets.

SURPRISE. One little "urinary incident" and two weeks later, I'm having my left kidney removed and another two weeks later, I'm at the City of Hope. As I gather my thoughts, I will watch the balance of the program and soon. For me, fresh in the cancer world, it was a bit difficult for me to listen to you. As I heard you speak, you were speaking many of my exact thoughts. Some of which I was intentionally ignoring.

One of your thoughts provided me with some cynical comical relief. I too have learned to "read" the medical personnel. During my first visit (where everyone thought I had passed a kidney stone), the sonogram technician grew quiet. That was a "tell." When she was done with the exam, she asked that I wait to see if the Dr. was available instead of setting up an appointment in the next day or two. This was the second "tell." When my Doctor entered the examining room, he wasn't anxious, but he did ask that I go with him to his office. I did not need any further "tells" or "signs."
At that point, I felt a kindred to a member of the Bourgeois class under Stalin when asked to step into "the next room." They knew their fate and I immediately accepted mine.

As you know, I have entered a whole new world. One that I have never experienced and one that I never wanted to experience. I have already learned a lot and thanks to your sharing, I think I can deal with this better than I imagined.

Also, during the past month, I have wondered if I lived a "good life" or even a "life that was just good enough." I have my own insecurities and doubts regarding my life and will assess those as I move forward.

However, I can tell you, at least for me, that I have no doubt that you have lived a life far and above "good".

I'll write again.

Take care.

Steve Albright

Sent by Steve Albright | 6:11 PM ET | 05-07-2007

My father has pancreatic cancer and my mom is a breast cancer survivor.

I'm sure, one day, I too will be diagnosed with some form of the disease. But in many respects, I'm already dealing with the same feelings you shared in last night's special; feelings of fear, uncertainty and sadness.

I'd like to see more attention paid to caregivers, especially children of people with cancer and how they cope with the fear that someday, they too may be diagnosed. I'd also like to learn more about why people get genetic testing, and how that influences their choices regarding screening and preventive care.

Cancer doesn't have you, Leroy. You have cancer. Thanks for that.

Sent by Becca | 6:40 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Bravo! That is a small word to express what I think about the documentary you and Ted Koppel did. I should probably be embarrassed to tell you, Mr. Sievers, that before last night I did not even know who you were. But, listening to you read your own thoughts and respond to Mr. Koppel's questions, I learned that we are kindred spirits. You put into words almost every feeling and thought I have experienced since my stage IV breast cancer diagnosis almost two years ago. Have you always been so wise? Probably not. Don't we learn so much more from the negative experiences in our lives? Certainly, I have learned MUCH more about our health care system by being a patient in it than I did in the previous 30+ years of working in it as a professor of nursing. All the advanced degrees I have don't add up to squat when compared to learning what it feels like to trust someone ELSE'S skill to access my port and put the right drugs and the right doses into my body. It's like falling off a cliff backwards and trusting someone to catch you. Thank you and thank you some more for doing the documentary. Blessings to you, and wonderful wishes for a great vacation! Sandra

Sent by Sandra Shuler | 6:47 PM ET | 05-07-2007

You newscast did not mention getting
2nd, 3rd and 4th opinions.
These, in my case, are priceless.
Luckly my late cousin had a lifelong Doctor friend that, thru email, helped me thru this by recomending tests and visits to a Onocolgist that the KP surgeon did not suggest. So far, and unless something very unforseen is found during surgery, this family friend Doctor saved my having a total stomach removal.
My tumor was found by accident during a EDP. The first surgeon I talked to at KP decided this was a stomach cancer and my whole stomach needed removal, even though both biposys came back inclusive.
I went to UCLA on my dime and their recomendation was a minor wedge section removal of the tumor.
I finally found a Onocoligal Surgeon at KP and he is treating this as a non cancerous tumor.
My surgery date will be in June 07 and hopefully when I am opened up there wont be anything to require a major portion or all of my stomach to be removed.
Multiple opinions are priceless.
They can always go back and remove more of my innards, but once removed they are gone forever.

Sent by W. Tom Foster | 6:55 PM ET | 05-07-2007

What a wonderful presentation and beautiful account of your journey...open, honest, and very very real. You make a difference in countless lives each and every day. I come to your blog to reflect and dream. Your words often strike a chord and create a great deal of thought. As I watched your documentary last night I wondered how many people suddenly learned that there were options like RFA and gamma knife and treatment teams that will step up to the plate and outside of the box. It's refreshing to think of the many lives that were potentially lengthened, changed, or saved because of your willingness to be open.

Have a wonderful vacation....and after your blog each day please try to celebrate as many cancer free minutes as you possibly can! AND take lots of pictures!

Sent by Suzanne Lindley | 6:57 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, thank you for your hope. Thank you for not giving up. But most of all, thank you for sharing this journey with all of us and providing so many a place to connect. Like most of us, I have lost many I loved to cancer. I am very grateful for the message you, Elizabeth, and Lance gave us last night...don't give up! Enjoy those Hawaiian sunsets, mai tai in hand. Peace and all good, friend. Vicky Lang

Sent by Vicky Lang | 7:01 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I really needed that program last night! I needed to know the range of emotions I have gone through were pretty common for one battling cancer. I took a page and a half of notes!
And, just as you are taking a vacation, I'm going to Disney World next week!
I lost a kidney due to cancer in September 2005 and since have gone through nine weeks of bladder treatments, four months of chemo, finishing radiation soon, and a few surgeries in between. I figures I need, well better I earned, this vacation and look forward to being a kid at heart in the Florida sun.
I shall be sure to indulge in a cocktail also and give you a special toast!
Be well.

Sent by Robert in Edgerton, WI | 7:03 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy --

We watched "Living With Cancer" last night. We're both 38, were just married in January, and one of us was diagnosed with diffuse large B cell lymphoma in March.

We respect Elizabeth Edwards a great deal. But we found her question to your wife, about why she did not participate in the documentary portion of the special, seemed to miss a point about the different ways people deal with cancer. Ms. Edwards is a public figure, that was an important part of her life before cancer, and that is part of her identity. Being very public about her situation was probably a healthy approach for her. Others of us are more private, and find that continuing to live our lives despite the cancer means continuing to live the fulfilling private lives that we lived pre-cancer.

The best to you and your wife!

Dan and Andrea

Sent by Dan and Andrea | 7:06 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I am a 2 time survivor of hodgkins lymphoma..Leroy u said u dont want to be told ur courageous..well then..can
I say u are truly an inspiration to all of us!! I have been told that again I am in early stage (petscans
are not agreeing to that)as the lymph nodes are not considered pathologically sizeable, but having the symptoms again tells me otherwise.
I was told I would need a stemcell transplant.After watching the show last night I felt strong and will do what I have to do to survive..I have been putting off buying a newer vehicle in fear that if I get sick again I will have a financial
burden..Im going to get a vehicle!!!
No more putting my life on hold fearing
what if Im sick again as no one knows
when that will happen or if it ever will .gotta enjoy life..thank u again
Leroy/Lance/Elizabeth u all touched
home to many of us and I now know my
feelings are normal.

Sent by Mary Beth | 7:07 PM ET | 05-07-2007

My heart skipped a beat a little when you mentioned Hawaii- thanks for the clarification though. Phew.

I also caught most of the show last night (just couldn't stay awake for the Town Hall meeting) and it was so odd to see (and hear) what you really look like. I imagined something totally different. What a pleasant surprise to put a face to the words but now it has changed the way I read your words. Funny.

Enjoy yourself, look forward to hearing updates soon from the sunny beaches of Hawaii.

Sent by Patty | 7:08 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Mr. Seivers -

You did make a difference! This show was amazing! I am so very proud to be a cancer survivor. An no, I am not courageous or amazing, I am just a person that got a bad set of cards! I deal with it and love live and find humor in all of it. Thank you again and again! It was amazing... look at the response to this blog! I only wish I had known about your blog sooner!

Best wishes -

Sent by Andi Arabak | 7:23 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy - thank you so much to you and your guests and audience for last night's Living with Cancer program. It should be pretty clear to you by now that the answer to your question "Have I made a difference?" is a resounding affirmative. I think that the number of responses received here on last night's program should afford you enough evidence of the difference that you have made to all of us in Cancer World. Thank you for the wonderful job done in articulating what so many of us struggle to do with our friends and family.

I hope that when you show up in Hawaii with your collection of shirts and maybe that new sport coat you had on last night, that you won't have to pay for a single Mai Tai. Perhaps you will be able to write a few blogs on travelling with cancer, which for me was a little different on my first big trip after 10 months of chemotherapy. I was amazed at the collection of drugs, lotions, and other assorted medications necessary to treat every side effect that I could anticipate, and then wondered what the TSA folks would say. Perhaps they will open a special "cancer" line at the security screening so that you can get through faster, like the idea of the cancer lane at the toll booth. Maybe there's an opportunity for the airlines to have a special "cancer class" seating area that would give us a little more comfortable seating, but with a price that cancer patients can afford. OK, it's just an idea, but think about it on your way to Hawaii...

Sent by Bob Maimone | 7:29 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, thank you for your honest and articulate approach during the Discovery broadcast. Having just recently lost my husband to a 2 yer battle with oral cancer, I am cheering you on all the way. Please drink a mai tai for me. Amy

Sent by Amy | 7:31 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy -

My wife and I were glued to the set for Living With Cancer last night. As a six year Oligodendroglioma survivor, I'm so proud of you and I share a lot of the feelings you divulged during your interview segments; I also shared many of them with my wife for the first time, so thank you for that opportunity. My family and I are off to Hawaii in June, as well, for some much needed R&R . . . and my 45th birthday. I could go on and on here, but let me simply say, "Aloooohaaaa!" I'm pulling for you, brother.

Sent by Tom | 7:32 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, I was glued to the TV last evening for three hours. If it hadn't been for the commercials...!
I went back to work today for the first day since January 10. I had what my four surgeons called a "Big surgery," then recovery, then radiation. Going back to work at the high school this AM was like breathing again, as though I had been holding my breath for four months without even noticing it.
Thanks for your frankness last evening. I will read your blog regularly now.
I particularly idntified with Elizabeth's comment that what she wanted from her Drs was hope. I have been told, "You have a bad cancer," (what cancer is good?), that the previous patients treated by my radiation oncologist for my type of cancer are all dead now, and "I know you wanted to die from old age and not soft tissue sarcoma, but...." while I appreciate their frankness, I also want to hear that so and so is doing a study at thus and such and who knows? And Do you want to participate? Etc.I have not heard the first word of hope. But I still have it!
Have a great time in Hawaii. The first thing i did when I got home from my "Big surgery" was make reservatiions for a trip to Alaska. I leave June 6. YEAH!
Liz in Tennessee

Sent by Elizabeth Crawford | 7:58 PM ET | 05-07-2007

The show last night was amazing...I was very touched by you and your story. It brings those of us without cancer back to the reality of enjoying each day and each moment, because we never know when it will be our time. Your words were haunting at times, but also important ones to hear and be reminded of. I am currently in school to be an oncology nurse and I loved the "hurrah" you gave to your nurse. I can't wait to be part of a profession that can have such a profound impact on people's lives, both physically and emotionally. And with my sister fighting an aggressive breast cancer, I know what a blessing these nurses can also be for the families. Thank you for the gift you give all of us daily!!!

Sent by Tracey DeWire | 7:59 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I turned 50 in October,in 1999. It was a year to remember. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer on December 2. I knew it was coming. My doctor had been looking for almost a year as my PSA steadily climbed. It was found after a session of 13 biopsies. I had the cancer removed on Jan. 27. It's like the day Kennedy was shot. You never forget the date you were told, or the date of your operation. I have learned to ski since then, I backpack whenever I get the chance, and I enjoy our world a whole lot more especially sunrises. But cancer has taken a toll emotionally and physically. My marriage has suffered, I have been depressed, and I worry about new cancer. I did have a melanoma removed from my cheek. I found it, asked about it, and had it removed the same day, and then had radiation. That was 5 years after the prostetectomy. It was cancer's way of reminding me it isn't over. So I live day to day, wondering if that sore joint, or cramp, or new blotch on my skin is something else that needs checked out. It is like being on guard duty twenty four hours a day, with no breaks ever. It wears me out at times but then I think, I am still here and for now the cancer is gone. Bring on another sunrise.

Sent by Rick McCarren | 7:59 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Bravo Leroy!....for your gift of participation on Living with Cancer and for your trip to Hawaii. The fact that one of your best friends was interviewing you was very special...what a conversation between friends! Go to Hawaii and make some special memories!

Sent by Linda Newson | 8:01 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hi Leroy,
I loved the show aired last night with Ted Koppel. Thank you for your courageous vulnerability that you chose to make public.
I am a nurse psychotherapist, ( a psychiatric nurse practitioner) working with cancer patients, and wish I had had the opportunity to join your project. The psychological work that you intuitively have done on your own, does not come naturally to many folks. That's where I come into the picture. I listen, reflect, ask questions, bring family members in, when appropriate, and work hard to help the person dealing with cancer manage their hope. I"d love to have conversations with you about my work and how it relates to your blog. Have a great vacation. Wendy Peterson APRN

Sent by wendy Peterson | 8:18 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Travel is a great escape and you are ready for one!
The Discovery show last night on Living with Cancer brought tears to my eyes. It sounds odd, but I felt like I was being recognized - that people not around cancer might understand me better. The photos of Lance your yourself undergoing treatment were especially valuable to those not familiar with what cancer treatment involves. Many people heard Lance Armstrong had cancer, and then gee, suddenly he doesn't! It's magic! I don't remember reading in the papers or seeing photos of the pain he went through to obtain his recovery. All we hear about is the good stuff. People don't realize the harm that the treatment itself causes. It was a wonderful program and despite the tears made me feel more positive as well as connected to others suffering cancer. By the way, you looked great in your new jacket - a major improvement over the hospital gown in previous shots. (My question is why do they always pick the UGLIEST prints available in hideous colors to make the gowns? And can't they use thicker material that isn't see -through? And do the washmachines eat the ties on them? Every other gown is missing at least one. )
Have a mai tai for all of us cancer survivors! (That should keep you at the bar for a while).

Sent by Marcia Greer | 8:27 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you so much for speaking out on cancer in such a public format. You're points so touched home, especially regarding crossing lines where no one should go. Your words last evening so expressed how I felt the first time I went for a PET scan and saw the radiation warning signs, the thick doors, and the techs scurring out of the rooom while I was the only one left in there - scared and alone. Enjoy the well earned vacation, and please, PLEASE on behalf of all us melanoma patients (myself Stage IV) - wear some sunscreen - Neutrogena SPF 55 with the ingredient avobenzine in it - best thing going according to my dermatologists. Have a drink for us all!

Sent by Rocco | 8:29 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I hope you enjoy your trip to hawaii I'm sure you will have the time of your life. My son was diagnoised over a year ago with AT/RT it's a rare brain tumor found in infants. He was 13 months old at diagnosis and is a little over two now. He is doing great!!! He has been off treatment for 7 months and his MRI's come back NED. Being a parent of a child with cancer, is much like having it yourself. I won't say that I know what you have gone through but I do understand. Listening to the interviews last night brought back so many memories of when Owen was first diagnoised, when we heard those dreaded words, your son has a brain tumor and he won't make it to see his second birthday. they gave him a less than 10% chance of making it 7 months. He has proved them wrong every chance he has gotten, they don't fully inderstand cancer and I think that's what is scarry. Enjy your trip you deserve it, we are getting Owen on the make a wish list when he turns 2 and a half. He has a carringbridge site if you ever get the chance. www.caringbridge.org/visit/owenlyons
Take Care,

Sent by Cyndi Lyons | 8:34 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hi!

I was diagnosed with metastatic colorectal cancer in July of 1999 and old "Mr. Henderson you need to put your affairs in order. I was 40 years old. I've had all kinds pf surgery, radiation and chemo treatments and I'll make my 8th anniversary of survival.

I saw the show last night and was moved, I too have become an advocate. I've been working on a project called "Big C" for 3-4 years (go to www.myspace.com/bigcproject to learn about my fight and what "Big C" is all about. The music part is just completes and I'm now co-producing a documentary aimed at newly diagnosed cancer patients and their families. Keep up the fight!

Regards,
Jon Henderson

Regards,
Jon Henderson

Sent by Jon Henderson | 8:43 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Hello Leroy. I watched you on the Discovery Health show last night. Thank you so much for sharing. I had no idea of your blog, no idea of any of this. Until last night. My dad has cancer, now there are tumors on the spine and more in the lungs. He's already been through shots for the prostate cancer, radiation for the spinal tumors and we're waiting for some scans to see if it worked or not. He is down to very few options, conventional medicine wise. I flew over to the computer after watching the program to google your doctor, Christos. After I spoke with dad today about the program (he was scared to watch it... he was afraid it was going to be "depressing"), my dad has opened his mind to the fact maybe there is hope. I'm going to contact Dr. G's office immediately and see if they will review his case. If he cannot review it, I will ask for a referral. Dad has hope. I have hope. My sister and brother have hope. It is a wonderful feeling after walking around numb for the last few weeks with all this new bad news popping up with his scans.

My dad is my hero. He really is. All my life I have watched him silently sacrifice things for his family, be strong and live a life of loyalty to his family. He can fix anything, he can do anything. He is not boastful, rather he is very humble. He is my true hero. I need him more than I need anybody, he is so important our family, no matter how much we explain it to him, he downplays his importance. But, he is the lynchpin for the family.

So, all this brings me back to you... to thank you again for sharing, for educating, for everything. I cannot pretend to imagine how you must feel, even after watching the program and seeing the ups and downs. What you did in sharing your story is truly incredible and a gift to so many people. Writing this to you doesn't seem nearly enough to convey my gratitude. These words are not eloquent, and they are probably full of grammar errors, but they are from my heart and I will forever be grateful. No matter how things will turn out with dad, today my dad and my family all have new hope. Its a wonderful day.

Sent by Jennifer | 8:44 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Yes, you make a diffrerence and so does Lori.

Sent by Lailani Dana | 8:51 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,
Startled out of numbness is the only way I can describe what your words did for my husband and I last night.
My husband has rectal cancer, a year ago after aggressive, painful, and tiring chemo/radiation/multiple surgeries we received a Cancer Free proclamation and the words "you should be doing great before you know it". Unfortunately, the post cancer months have been far worse than the time prior to the diagnosis, none the less, we have laughed, cried, and held everyone and us together.

From the beginning my husband wrote humorous, informative emails and shared them with our family and friends.

Just two weeks ago we received the worse possible CAT/PET scan results.
Just two weeks ago he felt better than he has since the beginning.
Just two weeks ago we were left numb.

The last two weeks there has been no tears, no words, just a feeling of emptiness.

It is always a mystery when you feel understood. My husband and you are very much alike; the words you shared were my husband's words; right down to the "should I go to the beach and start drinking 'till it is all over?"

You made us laugh, cry, and start talking again.

Today was the first of the verification procedures. We went strong and ready. Today's results were good. We did start with the easy, just in case test. Next Monday will be the final Biopsy.

We are ready; still scared, still a little numb, and still leery of what is to come.

Thank you for helping us over this unknown and helping us to be strong for the next. These are not the right words nor do they say how you reached us, but as you know since we began living with cancer, nothing is ever enough except life.
Have a drink for both of us and enjoy!

Sent by Kathy Frossard | 9:11 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I enjoyed last night's show immensely. More than words can possibly say. So much so that I've encouraged others to watch Discovery's repeat that's on tonight.

It was refreshing to see a program based on the "human element" of cancer; not the clinical.

I'm a 6-year stage 3A non-small cell lung cancer survivor. I developed a secondary cancer (interductal...a simplified term) in my right breast due to the chemotherapy and radiation. I couldn't have reconstruction. Again, due to the radiation.

I wasn't as fortunate as some with my lung surgeons. My diaphragm was damaged and I now live in pain 24/7....but, I'm alive and a survivor in more ways than one (along with refusing pain medications because I want them to work if and when I "really" need them.) I should be dancing in the streets, but, of course, I can't with this damage. This isn't how I planned to spend my retirement (I'm now 67), but I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'd have to say these recent years are the happiest I've ever had.

I often wondered if other cancer victims had the same thoughts as myself when I learned I had cancer. I wondered if others felt like I did going through chemotherapy. Last night, all my questions were answered. Your "gift of words" made it perfectly clear that, yes, others are the same as myself. I no longer feel "alone" with my thoughts thanks to you and the others associated with this program.

The first book I bought when I got my diagnosis was Lance Armstrong's book. It gave me more hope than any other factor at that time. Along with visualization, trusting in my Higher Power, and the support of family and friends, that hope turned into a reality.

All of us who've survived the "5 years" always wait for the other shoe to drop...but we might as well dance while we can. As they say..."No one's going to get out of this life alive."

With that said...enjoy Hawaii. A well earned vacation from "everything".

I'll be a repeat visitor from this day forward....

Sent by Pat Ryburn | 9:20 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
My name is Eden Stotsky and I am a 9.5 year survivor of Stage 3 Rectal Cancer. I am also the patient educator/navigator at the Johns Hopkins Colon Cancer Center. Furthermore, I was in the audience last night watching "Living with Cancer" and observing the town hall meeting - both were terrific. You are amazing and I appreciate what both you, and Lance, have done to bring cancer, especially "living with cancer," to the forefront of people's minds. I'd like to reiterate that your medical team - Dr. Meyer, Dr. Georgiades, and your oncology nurse, Pierse Byrnes - are an incredible trio. Their honesty and compassion are amazing - I feel they are genuine role models for the medical community. I truly admire you for the fight you are fighting and for your attitude. I also admire you because you have shared such an incredibly personal experience with the world. So many of us, feel or have felt, the way(s) you do. Thank you again for sharing your story. I look forward to meeting you at Hopkins one of these days and hope you have a FABULOUS trip to Hawaii! Enjoy the mai tais!!! Take care, Eden

Sent by Eden Stotsky | 9:34 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thanks for your honesty in dealing with cancer. We too have a family member who has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Your show helped us in so many ways. Not just for our cancer patient, but for us as a family. Thanks again!

Sent by Cindy | 9:45 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Enjoy your trip. Wear those great shirts and soak up up the sun. Enjoyed the show. Thanks.

Sent by Anne Lumberger | 9:52 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank You!! Your story was a wonderful breath of fresh air. Your comments were the words most of who have Cancer long to say, but cannot find the words to express what is happening to us.
I am 57 and have a reoccurrence of Ovarian Cancer. I was told I had Cancer in May 2005, was "currantly cancer free" for 2.5 months and now have been on chemo for over a year. Having Drug reactions to several Chemo meds,I'm still fighting to get to that Cancer Free Area again. My Cancer Family of Medical and Chemo Buddyies are just as you discribed. May you be blessed for being so open and using your professional talents to open the eyes of the world to the our lives of "Living with Cancer"
I would like to know if there is a way of getting a copy of last nights show, or if it is going to be on another time. I would like to make it available to the Chemo clinic for others to watch.

Sent by Barb Hetland MN | 10:07 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy, 135 comments!!! Remind me to put the word "Hawaii" in my blog tags.

I can see you, in my mind's eye, with a great big colorful Hawaiian shirt. I'll stop short of saying it's a scary thought, but it's certainly a delightful one. I know from your show last night that this is a happy trip; an ordinary, regular tourist trip.

Taking that cue from you, I took a small step, by going to the Bronx Zoo today, just to see the big cats with no interference. I'd been thinking about going, but that was it; I just thought about it. Now I've done it. It's not Egypt, or even Hawaii, but it's a start.

I've been so ptsd over treatment and chemo has fried my frontal lobes so badly that I rarely leave the house. I was ill at ease and tired, but the cheetahs were worth it. So were the tigers.

I even learned how to take videos on my new camera. The videos are dreadful, but it's another start.

I think the thing that hurt most about cancer was that the friend with whom I was living tossed me out after my 3rd chemo treatment. I had found a place to live permanently but she prevailed upon me to stay with her when I was diagnosed.

After coming home from the hospital where I had been admitted for a neutropenic infection, she told me I had three days to leave. She got quite deranged about it.

Compared to that, the cancer treatment itself was easy. A day at a time, a spiritual challenge, a look at death as part of life. I would have taken a bullet for this friend. It hurt more than anything the doctors could have come up with.

I got stuck at that spot, and it's been hard to get out of it. I've been reluctant to let anyone close to me since then, and it's sort of rewritten my map of humanity against my will. I can't accept it.

You have seen so much of what people do to one another in this old world...perhaps that is what has made you so strong that you could work, even part of the time, through your illness.

Until I can make some sense of it, I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

Sent by Alycia Keating | 10:25 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

Yes - you've made a difference! Before this blog and with this blog. Enjoy your vacation!

Sent by Lilly T. | 10:31 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Deat Leroy, Thank you for your honesty above all. I lost my father in june of 2000 to lung cancer that had mets to his liver. It was a short but very emotional 6 months. My mother who is 81 was diagnosed with a rare fibrocystic hystiocytoma sarcoma in 2005. She had a less than 30% chance of survival. She went through 6 months of Chemotherapy, Surgery at the University of Michigan, then on to 33 straight days of Radiation. I would like to say that she is well today but that would be a gross understatement, she if fabulous!!! They gave her a chemotherapy that was for Breast cancer because it was the closest thing that they could think of. I forgot that the tumor was in the soft tissue on the side of her left knee. It had mets to her lungs, both where she had more than one dozen tumors. Her CT scans of her chest come back as normal and she is cancer free so YES it does happen. She has been clean for over 1 year now with excellent outlook for the future. I believe in the power of possitive thinking, prayer and love. I just wanted you to know that yes, sometimes the doctors just do not know what to say. Have a wonderful vacation, you deserve it after the fight for your life....sincerely, Becca V.

Sent by Rebecca VanderWal | 10:34 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Last May I went to Paris. At the time, I had a small lump in my neck, but had decided to have it checked out upon my return. I am a nurse, so I knew it could be a problem, but I couldn't give up Paris. I recall walking along the Siene thinking "if this is all I get, it is enough". When we returned home, I saw the doctor and in short order was diagnosed with Stage IV Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I began chemo in August 2006 at MD Anderson, Orlando, and received the best care I could imagine. I was remarkably lucky and am currently in remission. Although it is not curable, it is treatable, and for that I am grateful.
The Discovery program verbalized so much of the common experience we all share in cancer. Please enjoy your vacation. I am off to Italy with my husband this week. I am happy to be alive!

Sent by Katy Gerritt | 10:36 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy, I have been listening to your story since the beginning on NPR. I was delighted to finally see you on TV last night with Ted K. (you are cute!)and to hear that things were going so well for you. Enjoy your trip to Hawaii! If you get tired of the mai tais, try a "pain killer"... they are good too.

Sent by Alison Jones | 10:38 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you for contributing to the show "Living with Cancer". I watched it last night as I am drawn to many things associated with cancer since losing my father in January. He battled renal cell carcinoma for 6 six years when the doctors gave him 2 years the most. He defied the odds. He also had 4 heart attacks if that tells you anything about his strength. My father was my rock and like you, no one could really tell he was sick.. until the end. I never really thought about cancer or thought it would affect my life until it showed up at my father's doorstep. It became part of the family, unfortunately. Now, I am aware, donating to the American Cancer Society and volunteering in the Relay 4 Life... I can't do much but I can help create awareness. If it means anything, my dad would tell you to live each day as it were your last and to never take what the doctors say for granted. They do know what they are talking about but when one only gave my father 6 months to live, he proved him wrong. Maybe it was luck? The dark, gloomy outlook that was once given to my father in the beginning changed as he fought & kept his head up. Even after losing a kidney and part of his lung, he kept going. I am sure if he had the money he would have also headed to Hawaii for a Mai Tai... Right now, that is where I think he is! After watching the show and hearing you speak and watching you I feel there is a brighter outlook for you and it's not so dark...I really feel there will be more good news to come and like my father always said, never give up. I did not know who you were until last night's show. I admired how humble & brave you are. You are looking at cancer in the face and giving it what you got. I hope it brings some comfort to know that many are thinking of you and are behind you all the way!
Godspeed
Toni

Sent by Toni A. D'Anna - Hernandez | 10:39 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Let me start off by Thanking you, and giving you the utmost respect, not as a man, or a Cancer Patient, but as a Cancer Survivor. I am 24 years old, 3 year Survivor of Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma 4T, also known as Head and Neck Cancer. Watching you documentary was something we all needed, especially me. I am really in the dumps about my life and how its going, with the complications and all, I still cant eat food by mouth but Via feeding tube inserted into my stomach. I suffer from bad head, neck, shoulder and back pain from the heavy radiation treatments I had. I can relate to you 100% on the effects of the Chemo, boy did that kill me, espcially at the end when I had 2 chemo's at one time, one right after another ( Cisplatin and 5FU ). I got emotional after watching the documentary, it touched base with me in so many ways, you got an edge of me though, I cant seem to find anything funny. I am not the comedian I once used to be, its so hard for me to laugh and enjoy myself now that its not even worth the shot at times. I cant seem to put it behind me, but then again I cant, because each day that goes by I am reminded of the Cancer and the fight I had to stay alive with the problems I have on a daily basis. You will be hearing from me often, I am going to be a regular, I just hope that one day we can communicate with each other by email, your a great man, someone to look up to, someone who gives others the reason to want to be a Cancer Survivor. Thank You

Sent by Bryan Haught, 24 Brooklyn, NY | 10:53 PM ET | 05-07-2007

I watched your conversation with Ted Koppel and enjoyed the commentary. I was diagnosed in Oct. 2006 with stage 4 lung cancer which had spread to the bones. Have had 10 chemos, the ones with Taxol being extremely tough but am going in this week for scans as my Oncologist is very optimistic that we have this in remission. Have had one lung operation and now sport a 17" gash and two holes in my right side.
Like you, I have thought about death but refuse to accept it. I have found it interesting that 40% of cancer patients die of malnutrition. It is for that reason I strongly recommend the book Beating Cancer With Nutrition by Patrick Quillan.
My new diet eliminates many of the foods I formerly ate and I feel much better after being on it for 2 months. Give it a try as it certainly can not hurt and I will be interested to see ,if done, your reaction.
Diet, medicine, a fighting spirit and the good Lord can beat cancer. I am 62 and plan to be around well past age 70.
Don't underestimate the power of prayer as it does work. Good Luck!!

Sent by Roger Hill | 11:15 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Thank you so much for the documentary and for this blog, both are exactly what I need right now. I am a six month survivor of kidney cancer and have been going through something similar to Janet's experience although in a much more brief span of time. I feel I have been on such an emotional roller coaster since my diagnosis: worried, scared, hopeful, angry, determined. Then elated when after surgery my last CT scan showed no cancer. I decided I was no longer going to put off doing what makes me happy, so I quit my job and moved to San Diego without any hesitation. Also without a job. Despite having good skills and an education,I have been unemployed for over 2 months, and on Sunday was feeling, as Janet said, not hopeless but really bummed out, and really questioning making such a impulsive decision. Seeing the show and reading these blogs has not only made me feel better, but has rekindled that feeling that I can accomplish anything I try to do, and that it's especially precious and important to do what makes me happy! Thank you to all, and have a wonderful vacation Leroy!

Sent by Louann | 11:30 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I saw "Living with Cancer" and for the first time i heard someone who feels the same way I do about having cancer. I had a nueroblastoma at five months old and breast cancer at thirty seven. I have lived all my life with some kind of health issue related to my treatments.I now have diabetes as a result of radiation to my abdomen as an infant. None of these problems really says who I am. They are just part of my life. I live every day knowing how fortunate I am. I have a dream job and a wonderful employer. My passion is horses and I am lucky enough to take care of them for a living. My husband is the best caregiver I could ask for. Cancer is a part of my life but there is so much more!

Sent by Leigh Gray | 11:54 PM ET | 05-07-2007

Leroy,

Great Program!! A big eyeopener to many issues..I've just had a small tumor from my urinary bladder removed (T2 low)..I'm due for my second visit to my urologist next month..I have no clue where I'll be going from here..but watching your program and all the people out there was most inspiring!! Just hearing all you people out there does help with the loneliness one exeriences especially when you've just been diagnozed. All the best to all of you & God Bless!!

Sent by Robin K | 12:00 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Dear Leroy:

Tonight I finished watching "Living with Cancer" - I watched part of it in transit on Direct TV yesterday and the rest tonight on the rebroadcast. Thank you for participating even though it's difficult to let strangers see you in the hospital gown with all the tubes attached. Please enjoy your Hawaiian vacation & especially if you have never been to Maui if you feel well maybe try to go see the top of Haleakala. It's the closest I've ever come to seeing what it's like on another planet - magnificent and otherworldly at the same time.

Sent by Lela | 12:39 AM ET | 05-08-2007

I sat glued to the TV for the whole three hrs. last night.
I,too am a survivor. I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in Dec. 1997.
Four weeks of radiation before surgery and four more weeks of chemo after, left me feeling "cured" for almost five yrs. Then it metastisized in my liver.
Not a good thing. The surgeon asked me if I had things in order such as a will etc. I just didn't get it. No, I didn't. After 16 day in the University of Wisconsin hospital, and minus 70% of my liver, I went back to my old lifestyle, feeling, this time I'm cured. Then two yrs. later a lesion showed up on what reamined of my liver. Cryosurgery froze it to death. OK, says I, now I'm done. But no, my fourth opportunity to beat it again presented itself in the form of a couple nodules on or in my left lung.
This time my oncologist didn't feel surgery was the best path so from Jan.3rd,2006 through August I did the chemo thing 48 hrs. non stop every two weeks. In May a PET scan showed no growth of the tumor, "and that's a good thing" as Martha Stewart would say.But at that same time, my sister suggested I drink 8oz. of 100% Pomagranite juice every day, so I did.
Suddenly, 12 weeks later, another PET scan showed, to quote the conclusion of the report, "No evidence of metastatic disease". Now, today, 9 months later, to the best of my knowledge, I'm still cancer free, and I still, religiously drink my 8 oz. of Pomagranite juice. The other very powerful weapon, that I believe is helping me, is a very positive attitude not just concerning my cancer but about everything in my life. Doctors agree that a positive attitude is helpful but of course, they apparently don't have a clear medical explanation of how it works. I don't know if a positive attitude can be taught. It's been suggested to me by several people that I should give motivational talks about it.
In Dec.2005, my Oncologist told me that I'm a stage 4 cancer patient and my chance of surviving more than 24 months is less than 1%. My only, and immediate reaction was, "I've got no problem with that. I'll just be part of that 1%. No big deal.
At no time was I depressed. At no time did I have anyone to care for me or give me support. I don't need it, because I'm going to lick this bug. To me it is just a mere inconvenience.
Sure I felt rotten each time I had chemo. I would have been disappointed if I wasn't because feeling rotten, told me that those expensive, exotic drugs were waging war on the bad cells and that there were casualties, and those dead cells naturally upset the normal functioning of my body. I looked forward almost with enthusiasm, to my next chemo treatment. Just like Leroy Siever, I'm thankful that I am a cancer survivor. Every morning when I wake up, I'm excited about my day. I believe that I'll probably die someday of cancer, but I will do everything I can to postpone it as long as possible. I have big projects that I'm working on, including building a plane in my basement, and helping my son build a plane in his garage. I look forward to finishing and flying both of them even though it'll take at least five or more years to complete. Yet, each day I live it as though it may be my last, because after all, I might get killed in a car accident. I'm only 71 year young and have loads of energy to burn.
I have and still am living a charmed life and wouldn't trade places with anyone, because I'm a four time cancer survivor and the next time it shows up, if it shows up, I look forward to doing whatever it takes to beat it asgain. With a little bit of luck and a powerful positive attitude, I'll probably die in my sleep when I'm 92, after a wild and crazy active day with some young lady of 70.

Sent by Roman Bukolt. Madison, Wi. | 1:13 AM ET | 05-08-2007

I thought a while before tuning into the Living With Cancer program last night. I thought about putting this thing called cancer behind me, not looking at its ugly face in another person again. But I am thrilled that I watched the program with my husband last night. He and I are both cancer survivors. I was diagnosed with breast CA almost 2 years ago and he with prostate CA one year to the day after I was. Nice anniversary gift. We don't know what the future holds. All we can do is HOPE that lightening doesn't strike again. Because despite all that we are doing to fend off a relapse, the organic diet,the exercise, natural cosmetics, etc, etc...we don't really know what's going to happen in the future. We don't know if we will be the lucky ones who survive and live a normal life span or not. But we can't dwell on that everyday or we may as well lay down and die now. It is a waste of time to worry about the things that we have little or no control over. I am a RN and everyday I take care of people with cancer. I had a patient a couple of months ago with pancreatic cancer say to me "I just never wanted to die of cancer". I feel the same way. Don't we all just want to go to sleep one night after having lived a very long life, and not wake up in the morning? That's how I want to go. But the reality is that most of us will not die that way. The best quote that I read recently, by Jeffrey Steingarten was, "The sole purpose of life is NOT longevity." Isn't it true? We praise people for simply hanging around this planet for a long time. And somehow fairness always figures into our thinking. It isn't fair that I had cancer and someone else who is a really rotten person doesn't. Why do I have to live with the whale in the room for the rest of my life? It isn't fair but neither is it fair that a 16 year old is killed in a car accident or an 18 year old is blown away in Iraq. It is all basically a crapshoot, so we'd better enjoy the time that we have. Every morning I wake up and thank God for another day of life to enjoy my family, friends and work, and hope that I make a difference in someone's life, even if it is just to bring a patient a warm blanket or a smile. And cancer will not take that away from me. Can I say that cancer is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, as Lance Armstrong did? Well, I am different. I am more patient and understanding. I am also very acutely aware of the loss of innocence and that makes me sad. The care-free days are over. But I am here, cancer free and happy.
Your program showed all of us that people with cancer are not damaged goods. I think that people with cancer feel that way, kind of ashamed and embarassed that we got the big C. Your life has touched so many, your words are our thoughts. We are strong and ever hopeful. Maybe we are lucky in a strange way.
Have a lovely vacation.

Sent by Burlene Krider RN | 1:15 AM ET | 05-08-2007

God Bless You . . . you have helped more than you know.

Sent by Dan | 1:43 AM ET | 05-08-2007

After seeing Mr. Koppel on the Daily Show I had SO intended to watch Living with Cancer... but I got side tracked. It's been 18 months since "real" chemo, but I'm still on chemo in a pill so maybe chemo brain is a viable excuse. Since I am blue in a red state, I doubt that my representatives will propose a "cancer lane" on our Texas Tollways, but I think that would be a great idea. My son was grateful I survived long enough to see him get married. It hadn't occured to ME to worry. I hope to live long enough to see HIS kids get married. May YOU live long and prosper with your new treatment successes.

Sent by Dana | 2:49 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Dear Leroy Sievers,


My name is Carole, I saw your Discovery Show with your friend Ted. I want to than you for making that show. I will be showing it to my family and friends.

You see, I like you, have hereditary colon cancer called Familial Adenomyosis Polyposis or for short (FAP). I knew my whole life this was something that "might" happen to me as it did too many family members and that they have died from this disease. But I can tell you because of this disorder in my gene(s) I have lived the most fascinating life. I thought for a long time it was fascinating because I was more aware of things around me but as I tell my life story to others they this it is amazing also or not enough people tell their story about their life.

I have had eight major surgeries on my abdomen that have saved my life. I have never had Cancer so never though I was a Cancer "survivor" in the true sense. I was always screened and the surgeries happened before the turning into Cancer. High dysplasia is the closest I have ever gotten to Cancer so in away I am lucky.

Then I realized that I go through the same surgeries as a Cancer survivor so I guess I am one also. I have no large intestine and Doctors made an internal J pouch. I have many new growths elsewhere and looking into more surgery.

Many twilight zone happenings happen to me all the time. Over 20 years ago I married a man with the last name of Ehlers. I met him at an accounting firm. His father was a colon/rectum surgeon. So I felt I really found some one who could "get" my issues. In 1999 I went to see a Rheumatologist and he diagnosed me with possibly having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS for short). Then by a geneticist for certain in 2000. EDS is a genetic collagen defect in certain parts of the body. There are many different types of EDS and some have a short life span due to aneurysms. But the main feature of all is hypermobility (or what some call double-jointedness) and extreme everyday pain from dislocation, subluxation, joint deterioration and most of all muscle pain.

I have 6 siblings and 5 out of the 6 so far have both genetic disorders and there are possibilities of many other genes that effect us also. My oldest brother just had a kidney removed due to kidney cancer. We all are very ill and know that many of us will die from Cancer.

I cannot work now and battle many things from an ex who left due to the EDS diagnosis to social security paying for procedures. I need many more surgeries for my joints and to take out my duodenum due to polyps growing there now.

I have never known not to fight. Watching my father, cousin, and uncle die I felt I had no other choice. My mother just died this year and my brother said to me that his next birthday is one more year older than what age my father died at. All my sibs measure success by living pass the age of our father. I find that very dysfunctional. There are so many other factors on how the disease progresses that to set sights on just that is so wrong.

I felt compelled to write you. You read Harry Potter, love Hawaii and watch 24 and I am a nut about those things also (I live in Valencia where the bomb went off in 24!!). I think we have much in common but I have never had chemo but my niece and brothers have. I have taken chemo levels of Celebrex but nothing like chemo that you have gone through.

We wonder how we can endure all this but somewhere out there are all those medical people who are working to fight Cancer. Then there is one person who has a better something to offer and with that thin as a hair of hope we keep plugging along...

All my best,
Carole

Sent by Carole | 3:03 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Wow, you have a lot of comments. Must have been the show. We did not get it here on AFN. Maybe later they will air it. I will look for it.

Enjoy Hawaii, enjoy your life and do good. That is what it is all about. I look forward to reading a mai tie influenced blog. It is very important to "center" ourselves,as one of your commentators said. I too have to remind myself that my life is a blessing and I should not waist any of my time.

Sent by Betty in Germany | 3:14 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy: I'm watching the "Koppel on Discovery" program now. It occurred to me that I haven't checked your blog for a few days and part of me truly wishes I could be the first one to buy you that mai tai. I discovered this blog last summer while coping with my father's cancer (stage 4 bladder) and it has really given me a richer and more informative perspective. Your candor and willingness to open up is remarkable.

I can't even remember the last time I had a mai tai but I plan to have one in your honor very soon.

Aloha,

Greg
Honolulu, Hawaii.

Sent by Greg | 4:11 AM ET | 05-08-2007

really enjoyed your premiere tv show!
what a pity it had to be on a commercial channel. and that snake-oil spamming by the woman from those rip-off artists at cancer centers of america sure wasn't appreciated! Otherwise a good show.

Sent by martin j boyce | 4:14 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy ~

After watching the show tonight (I TIVO'd it) I saw myself shining through your eyes. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 12 months ago. I looked and felt healthy (except for an annoying cough). I'd never smoked, didn't grow up around smoke, but for some reason at 47 years old I "joined the club".

It's as though we've all been given the same script. I do think my life is richer because of cancer. If I died tonight, my family can rest assured that I lived a happy life with no regrets. I've been writing a blog since my diagnosis as well (though my words aren't as fluid as yours - I'm not a journalist). The theraputic value I get from writing, is Priceless.

Have a Mai-Tai for me and don't forget to wear sunscreen.

Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And...never regret anything that once made you smile.

Dream Big,
Doreen

P.S. I love the idea of having our "own lane". That's why I TIVO everything. Who has time for commercials?

Sent by Doreen Schmitt | 4:33 AM ET | 05-08-2007

the worlds best sugar coated hot bun is the portuguese treat malasada 60 cents sold at leonards bakery just a couple miles east of waikiki. you have to eat them hot cuz when they cool down they taste different, call ahead to find out when theyre gonna cook a fresh batch.

Sent by dickawa | 5:57 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Dear Leroy:
I don't know which moved me more: the "Living With Cancer" program or the moving comments here on the blog. Those of us who have known you through this medium for a long time were moved to SEE you go through the different treatments and highs and lows of the past 16 months; those who have read this and/or written in for the first time have found the safe harbor it offers. As so many have already said in so many different ways.....
you have done something here that is extraordinary, and long lasting, and so so valuable and comforting.

Sent by Harriet | 6:34 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Hey Leroy - Great job on the show! Cancer isn't always the Brian Piccolo story. It's normal people trying to cope with an abnormal life and make the best of things. The heatlh care providers you have are so typical of the staff my wife and I have encountered. The nurses RULE! And unfortunately, the oncologists (we call ours "the Chemist") are usually emotionally inaccessable. I guess they have to be, when they have to cope with the kind of numbers he threw out.
Keep pluggin'! You're doing a great job. I second Barbara's sentiment - You're making difference to me.

Sent by Tim | 8:47 AM ET | 05-08-2007

After watching your story, I was lying in bed watching Matt's lantern flickering on the porch across the street. Matt was my son's best friend. After a 5 year battle with leukemia, Matt died at 16. His parents keep a lantern constantly burning at his grave during the summer months, and keep it on the front porch during the cold months.
You know, I think that lantern is burning a little brighter now.

Thank you.

Sent by Sue | 9:54 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
I have been reading your blog since last summer. A good friend introduced me to it. I do not have cancer. My family has been touched by cancer through the loss of my cousin Trish, and loss of our good friend Dennis in September. I have a husband and 3 kids. My 10 year old son has grandparents who both have had cancer recently. To answer your question a couple weeks ago, I am a volunteer. I am very passionate about the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life events. I have been touched by the Hope that cancer survivors give. I am touched by the hope and inspiration that you have also given to me and to all of these people! Much like you have given other cancer survivors strength, hope and inspiration, you have given me those things also. It is hard for me or us ( people without cancer) to automatically know what to say or to do when someone we know has cancer. Thank you for sharing with us insights of how it felt from your end and how you would like people to react. I think that is very important for people to know.
Since i have been reading this blog, i have felt that i have come to know you, and yet we have never met! Sunday night's program was a bitter sweet moment as i really felt that i "met" you for the first time! You are a true volunteer in my opinion! All of you who respond to this blog are an inspiration also! Keep up the inspiration to others and know that you are motivating us all (cancer survivors or not) to live and to celebrate life! Nice to meet you Leroy! Have a wonderful Vacation!

Sent by Krista Hanson | 10:11 AM ET | 05-08-2007

LEROY!

FEEL THE LOVE, BABY!

What an awesome show and as a member of "The Club" I will only tell you that not only you but each of has truly made a difference as we traveled this journey.

I was a little disappointed you and Stephanie didn't do the big hug for all of us although I know the moment your eyes met, you rushed into each other's arms, hugged, cried, laughed, etc.

I feel as if I saw a close friend on the show although we have only met in the digital world. I can't remember how long I have known you but it seems like we grew up together it has been so long.

I just returned from a trip to Valdivia, Chile to hang out in the Andes with my larger-than-life photo journalist Uncle Shin. As we laughed, traveled, fished and ate, I often though of you and wondered why you weren't invited.

Anyway, have a great time in Hawaii and before you take the first sip, please raise the glass to all of us...and receive each and every day.
praise Him for the blessings we all
May the miracles drop in your path all the days of your life.

Ed

Sent by Ed Brown | 11:30 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Thank you for the documentary. My husband has stage IV Kidney Cancer (Clear Cell Renal Cell Carcinoma) and has gone through hell since his diagnosis 9/04. He had a tumor on his right kidney that grew into his Vena Cava. During surgery, at John Hopkins Bayview Hospital Center, to remove a football sized tumor and his right kidney he lost 70 units of blood due to the vena cava involvement. He survived the surgery but because of the large volume of blood lost he could not clot and remained in the SICU for 2 additional days with his wound open until he started clotting. He returned the 3rd day to surgery where they closed his wound and he returned to the SICU where he stayed attached to a breathing tube for 13 days due to other medical problems he incurred. He is currently on a 17 AGG clinical trial at University of Maryland in Baltimore and is the longest surviving patient on the trial (Now on the trial for over a year). He tends to shy away from support groups and doesn't do much in the line of learning about his condition and treatment options probably because it depresses him. I'm his advocate and joined a support group and search for new clinical trials that can be helpful if this one stops working.

I knew that the documentary was going to show and asked my husband to come and view it with me. His answer "I don't need to see it because I'm living it too!" So I went and sat to watch it myself. To my surprise he came and sat with me and we watched the program together. I'm so glad he watched the program and to hear what was said by you and the others. I think he now has more hope.

Thanks you, Thank you.

Sent by PB | 11:32 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy,

That Mai Tai and all it symbolizes about your terrific attitude may be better than any medicine for you. Your spirit is like that of our son John, amazing us with his courage and outlook.

Blessings and every wish for many beautiful years for you,

Margot Woods

Sent by Margot Anne Woods | 11:57 AM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy,

I watched the Discovery show and felt is so important to bring the "truth" to the public about cancer. As a social worker and an oncology support group facilitator, I found the discussions are ones I have with the patients and caregivers. The show serves as a wonderful tool to bring about discussion in a group. Will there be videos available to purchase? If so, who would I contact. Unfortunately, I did not record the program and, believe it or not, there are some members in my group who do not have cable.

Thank, Sue Degnan, LMSW

Sent by sue degnan | 1:22 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy, Reading some of the comments, I came across whether only people affected somehow with/by cancer watched the show. Well, as far as I know I'm cancer-free and I watched the show. The biggest reason being: you look like me (not literally). We all will face that day, and whether we will have a warning shot or not is unknown. It was nice to see a real guy, with a horrible disease; not made out to be a hero or a superman. You are real, and that's a little scary to me, because until I "met" you, I thought only heroic people got sick, and since I was no hero, I figured I was good. I guess I'm trying to say that I admire you sharing this with us all, and I'm sure we all will get something out of this, whatever that may be. Hope not to see you in Hawaii anytime soon.

Sent by Dann | 1:35 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy, I first want to say ...I wish I could meet you. Watching the special living with Cancer, really made anxious. To introduce myself, I was 33 diagnosed with advanced bresat cancer after 3 years of several doctors telling me it was nothing to worry about. This was in 1998. Today I have been living with stage 4 for close to 7 years. My cancer is now active in my bones. Really that's not the hard part. What is, is all the things that go on in your head...Living with the cancer...It was so incrediable to watch and listen to you Sunday night and more importantly my husband listen to you...I felt you took all my thaughts right out of my brain. I was ok your friend didn't want to be a part of the interviews, the message was clear to my husband how I feel everyday.. Your story was the most impacting on me as a 9 year survior at the age of almost 42...

Sent by Norma App | 1:56 PM ET | 05-08-2007

I watched you on the Ted Koppel special on cancer and it was sooo interesting. I have a brother-in-law whom is a doctor that is suffering with pancreatic cancer. It's so very sad and I feel so helpless. I will read your blog as you are so frank and real. Have a GREAT time in Hawaii. You deserve it!

Sent by DiAnn | 2:36 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy I watched you on the IV special the other night, I did not sleep well after that. Wow, what a special person you are and what an impact you have made on me. I have now signed up for you blog. We need more people like you in this world. Have a great vacation, I look forward to the next blog!!!

Sent by Jane | 3:22 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Leroy -
You go guy!!! Savour every moment of your trip! Many of us will be with you in spirit, cheering you on as always!! I see the blog has grown since the airing on TV. Thank you again for opening up the important dialogue and for continuing to bring awareness to the needs of those living with cancer.
Your story has touched many lives!
Blessings to you!

Sent by Kathleen | 4:39 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Dear Leroy,

Listening to your documentary was as if you read them from my personal journey with my father. I actually watched it twice. My dad was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct cancer) and lived 6 months. The journey began as a routine colonoscopy screening that my mother scheduled for him, but instead we heard those words that so many have heard, words and a look from the doctor that actually causes you phyiscal pain. I often wondered what my father he was thinking when I would see him in deep thought and I thank you for putting a voice to those thoughts. I kept a detailed journal of our journey. That's right, our journey...his and mine. Many have had, are having and will continue to have the journey of "living with cancer." Thank you for having the courage to enter that sacred part of your soul that part is the most private, that part is your journey.....

Sent by Ronda Gilliard | 5:35 PM ET | 05-08-2007

I read the summary of the NPR coverage on melanoma. It was a terrible ordeal -- failure of triage at my medical care provider (military) -- thus delayed diagnosis and surgery while 6 months passed from the time I first saw the tiny white bump on my ear, and became immediately concerned. To do over I would go to any health care whether at my expense or not. I recommend that to anyone. When I did reach a dermatology specialist at the regional military hospital, the staff immediately became alarmed and ran around frantically. Somebody began taking pictures. I felt like an idiot for not taking better care of myself and letting my irksome insistance that my health care provider was going to keep its end of the condition of my decision to join the service (incidentally, once referred, medical care was excellent). Ironically, preternaturally ironically, it was a statistician at the World Health Organization where I was on professional loan, who first diagnosed my melanoma. In the middle of a meeting, he saw it, and immediately picked up the phone and called WHO employee health to make me an appointment. He got my personal promise to show up for the appointment. The Dr took one look and picked up the phone to call a surgeon. I stopped her because I knew my branch of the service would never pay the $100,000 bill I estimated I'd get, and I did not want to risk stiffing a Swiss hospital. My appointment at the regional military hospital back in the US was for a few days later, but she made me solemnly promise to keep that appointment. Although I am not an MD, I work with innumerable MDs, only two of whom asked me anything about it -- a scabbed sore on my ear. One said skip the system and pay for good medcial care if I had to, and was about to call a city hospital. I remember saying, no I'm gonna make sure my health care provider pays every penny their obligation to me warrants. Besides the lesson to take care of oneself first, another lesson is that no other MD except a dermatologist can make even a preliminary eyeball diagnosis. My diagnosis put me at a 25% mortality risk over 5 years, according to studies I could find before I despaired of looking at the research. Now I learn from NPR that even cancer dermatopathologists are subject at a high rate of error when reviewed by even more specialized dermatopathologists. The whole misadventure cost me two surgeries --one extensive and somewhat disfiguring -- and the other serious enough. Worse, it cost me a part of my sanity. This melanoma plus another family tragedy plus the mother of all job stress from hell, cost me my ability to do anything requiring concentration, including my profession. Also has cost me 9 years of psychotherapy. Upshot is, there has never been any sign that the melanoma went anyplace but my earlobe, which makes me a very fortunate survivor against terrifying odds, if it was ever there to begin with, I have learned from NPR. Appreciate this blog, it is a real service, and I wish you God's own good gift of health to you.

Sent by george cauthen | 5:56 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Dear Leroy,

Amazing show the other night. My mom was diagnosed leiomyosarcoma this past October. She has undergone a radical surgery that removed an 8 lb. cancerous tumor from her abdomen and is finally feeling better. The cancer has spread to her lungs and is in her bloodstream.

I wasn't going to watch your show, but there I was at midnight channel flipping, sleep is no longer my friend, and there you were. I am so glad I watched it and as the tears flowed, I realized I am changed forever, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Thank you for your perspective, your light, your honesty and for putting into eloquent words what so many of us in the Cancer World feel.

I think a grass skirt would be rather fetching on you. Enjoy Hawaii!

Sent by Melanie Hunkapiller | 7:47 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Enjoy, and Aloha!

Sent by Stanley Suan | 7:55 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Have a wonderful time. You absolutely deserve it! (I blogged our Hawaiian vacation last December - check it out!? http://northwestladybug.blogspot.com/)

You are absolutely full of life. I wish my mom could have met you before she died of ovarian cancer in April, '04. I kept a journal for her (also on my blog), which I have considered publishing because I wish I could have read about a caretaker-daughter's perspective when I began the journey with Mom in '01.

Carol

Sent by Carol Snider | 10:22 PM ET | 05-08-2007

Thank you for the show you have done and the awareness you have raised in many respects.

I saw myself in you when you spoke and shared your feelings and emotions about being diagnosed and living with cancer, it made me cry.

Also, a very important subject was brought up by you, Elizabeth Edwards and Lance Armstrong about being lucky to have good insurance as opposed to having poor insurance, I someday dream of sharing my experience to the world about how well the Teamsters insurance treated me and took care of me and how my HMO (which took effect in the middle of treatment) delayed my care and then finaly shut my care down in late 2003, I lost my healthcare 4 years into my cancer treatment and have been with out ever since, my HMO hospital director told me that "people who have or had cancer always freak out about their health". I am uninsurable and scared every day I wake up that my cancer is back and I don't even know it. My cancer was Stage 3 Melanoma, of which my grandma passed away from.

In closing, you have touched me and you will always be in my thoughts, and you will beat this I just know you will.

Sent by Stephanie Milika'a | 11:44 PM ET | 05-08-2007

I was told that within a short period of time I will be needing chemo for my leukemia. Although I asked questions, I didn't know what getting chemo would be like until I saw you on the special. Thank you for wiping out the mystery. I'm not afreaid. Thanks.

Sent by I M | 11:47 PM ET | 05-08-2007

og today with a big grin. I'm delighted that you're going to Hawaii as just another tourist!!! Have a great time. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Sent by Connie Brown | 12:18 AM ET | 05-09-2007

I just watched Ted Koppel's show on Living with Cancer. Something you said opened a window for me about something I have been struggling with for over 10 years, since my breast cancer treatment. You said, "I knew I had cancer because they told me I did." I have always felt that there was something wrong with me for feeling sort of numb around the whole cancer thing. I thought I should feel something more ... more dread? fear? I certainly had the initial feelings of shock, and the lonely nights on occasion. But I couldn't understand why I wasn't reacting more intensely, since I am a pretty intense person. When you spoke those words, it was as though I woke up. You are so right ... I couldn't feel the cancer, couldn't see it, I had no physical or emotional connection with it. It was all about surgery results and lab tests, chemo and radiation ... but at the same time it seemed unreal. I didn't feel that I was "legitimately" a cancer patient. As your oncologist said on the show, I just didn't get it. While the cancer has not recurred, I've been loathe to get my tests on time ... I'm sick of people palpating me, marking me, injecting me, and positioning me. I just want to be left alone. But now I will call and make that mammo app't, and insist on regular colonoscopies (I've had one polyp). I wanted to thank you for your words, they made a difference for me.

Sent by Jean Lamb | 8:54 PM ET | 05-17-2007

Dear Leroy

I have been reading your blog since before the TV show Living with Cancer and I have not responded because:

you get so much mail

my story is not a big deal

you are saying all the things I think and feel, almost

These are my excuses not to share my story with you and other amazing persons that are courageous enough to talk out loud to anyone who will listen, even if they don't. Keep talking. Pretty soon the scary energy is taken out of the work and life goes on.

I have been writing about this event Breast Cancer and Chemo and effects and how it is like a magnet that draws all the love and support from friends and family. But there has been some close friends and family that have stayed away. Cancer is not catchy.

One of my mantras is I can make the plan but not the outcome. So today I can do anything, like always. Can I share my blog below?

CANCER

I have been very busy removing clothing I have been saving for when I get thinner. Cancer is a great leveler in that there is no going back. If I do get that size again, I will want to treat myself to new clothes.

I have been reading a lot of material by cancer survivors and they all seem to suggest that if you are not mad, sad, depressed or scared that your probably in denial.

I felt pretty proud when my son John commented in his note that he liked how I was handling my cancer, without fear. I have not felt fear. I also have not felt any of those other feelings either.

Growing up I prided myself in how the problems in our home ???Didn???t effect me???. It took a long time before I stopped pretending that ???I???m fine???. When I was not fine. Am I still doing that?

I don???t like that I have Cancer; I also don???t like having Diabetes. Not because they might kill me, but that now my Insurance might not cover me or I might not be able to drive.

I also have awareness of how drastically I have changed physically. I used to notice my reflection in a mirror or a window and think, ???Who is that???? I have been changing so fast, that I really don???t know what I look like anymore.

I figure that people are still attracted to me and don???t seem to be concerned with how I look.

I haven???t kept a journal about my cancer treatment and it???s effects, because I just wanted to get to the next stage of feeling better. I knew that around 72 hours after my treatments I would have a rough time for about 48 hours, and I figured that I could stand anything for two days, knowing it would be over soon.

In the first hours of knowing I had Breast Cancer, my girls made it clear that they wanted and would be involved, every step of the way. They in turn made it clear to the other family members, how they were needed and they also stepped up to the plate. My children gathered round me so tightly that there was no way that I could fall, or not get through this together.

I had a goal and was bound and determined to reach it. All my chicks would be together in Ireland in June. For my youngest son John and Sarah???s wedding It has been the light at the end of the tunnel.

My doctor has cooperated in that he ended my treatment in time for me to be fully healed of the toxic medicines I have been given. My daughter Nancy has been buying me outfits and underwear wherever she goes and has outfitted me in the most gorgeous dress I have ever tried on.

I???m pretty sure this is the outfit I will wear the day of the wedding, but things can change.

Sent by Peg Heglund | 3:56 PM ET | 05-18-2007

I want to thank you for your commentaries and blog , which I have followed closely. I work at a major cancer center; not as a care giver, but in an administrative position. I have always been uncomfortable with our patients. You have made it easier for me to relate to our patients, even if all I do is smile and say "hi, how are you doing today?" And they are great, because they honestly tell you how they are doing.

I have been so impressed by the caregivers at our facilities. We decorate for every holiday, including Mother's Day and Father's Day. We host parties in our waiting room, even parking lot cookouts for the fourth of July. I guess this is my tribute to all cancer professionals and their patients and families. It's a dreadful disease that I see handled daily with dignity, grace, humor, and honesty.

By the way, I'm a 26 year survivor of uterine cancer. I rarely think about it anymore. It's no longer in the back of mind, waiting to pounce at the odd moment. My cancer left me with the ability to treasure each and every moment of each and every day. If you can do that, cancer will never win.

Sent by Anonymous | 10:13 PM ET | 05-18-2007

We have a guest house in the middle of the Chama Wilderness in NM. We are across the Chama River from the Monastery of Christ in the Desert. 30 miles from the town of Abiquiu. It occured to us that maybe some of you would like to have a remote vacation, no electricity, phone etc. This is a canyon with the beautiful red sandstone cliffs rising in front of the house. We have an organic garden, a spring for our water and total peace as no one can come here, both entrances to the canyon are on Forest Roads and they are locked. We are the only people in 15 miles in any direction, except for the Monastery. Let us know by this blog if any of you would think this could be helpful. The thought came to us as Leroy was enjoying the ocean. This too is an ocean of peace. Thank you. Elizabeth Sebastian

Sent by elizabeth sebastian | 5:32 PM ET | 05-19-2007



   
   
   
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Leroy Sievers

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Leroy Sievers in the Ted Koppel Documentary

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A journalist for more than 25 years, Leroy Sievers worked at CBS News, the Discovery Channel, and ABC News, where he was the executive producer of Nightline. He wrote this blog daily until his death in August.

 
 

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