Hey Leroy,
Thanks for the postcard, it's almost as good as being there. Enjoy, you're worth it! XOXO

Sent by Katie | 6:47 AM ET | 05-10-2007

YOU GO BOY! Soak up the sun, drink them drinks and relax. You've done some hard work and put in some long hours at "the office". You deserve it.

Sent by Heidi | 8:39 AM ET | 05-10-2007

with that wonderful thought of "wish you were here"..know that in my imagination i am in hawaii.... well, except for those moments when it would be totally unapropriate to be there! thanks for the survivors' guilt trip..but really, my turn will come and besides..you deserve it ..so ENJOY and bring on those amazing hawaiian poolside drinks.

Sent by marianne dalton | 8:53 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Thanks for the thoughts Leroy and to be truthful, I wish I was there too even if I am past the chemo and radiation stage of my cancer.
What I would like for you to remember is this trip is for YOU. You deserve it and you have earned it. Just enjoy.

Sent by debbie | 10:46 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

I find myself in an almost similar situation. After 15 months of treatment and hospitalizations for Stage 3B inflammatory breast cancer, yesterday I met with my oncologist who told me that I was cured. And then she told me that I was 90% done. Although it sounded like double speak to me, I was prepared, since she'd earlier mentioned hormone replacement therapy for another five years. (And, of course, those who live in the Cancer World know not to expect that things will be cut and dry.)

Cured. Cured. Hard to believe...and part of me does and part of me doesn't. The part of me that does has already made reservations for my own trip to the former Yugoslavia. I can hardly wait. Since my diagnosis, my only travel has been a brief visit home to tell my parents of my diagnosis and that I was doing well. Now I will be traveling for the joy of seeing somewhere new, of meeting new people, of going outside my boundaries to explore someone else's reality. Though I have just one life, travel provides me the opportunity to taste and imagine alternate lives. I am so grateful that I will have this opportunity.

Like many others, I am so happy to think of you in Hawaii, especially given your earlier prognoses. Please know that we are with you in our hearts, sharing your joy, reveling at the whispering of the waves, the touch of ocean breezes.

All the best to you!

Sent by Shosh | 10:54 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Amidst the incomprehensible war with an enemy that is no enemy, these are the true wars that we must fight...with or without cancer. I wish Mr. Sievers all the best and here's another example of someone fighting for the war of cancer: http://www.seetheend.com.

Sent by nae cho | 11:04 AM ET | 05-10-2007

I'm into the 5th month of my experience with Bile Duct Cancer. I'm on my chemo "week off" right now, but have one more session of 3 weekly treatments and then radiation.

ENJOY Hawaii as you have paid your dues. My Oncology surgeon has told me to take my long awaited, and often put off, trip to Italy 'n Greece with my wife as soon as the treatments are over and my strength has returned. We're going in the Fall. We deserve it much like you deserve Hawaii and others deserve to take their dream trips.

Your documentary made a difference in my recovery as you put into such eloquent words the same feelings I was and am having, but couldn't find the right words.

Nothing to feel guilty about! An attitude of gratitude always trumps misplaced quilt. Enjoy your well earned trip.

Sent by Bruce | 11:12 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Hi, Leroy!

Don't waste any time feeling guilty in the least. We're all there vicariously with you, enjoying your posts and the lovey descriptions of your present surroundings. You've been through more than anyone should; we all have. So, put on your suncreen and go have some fun!

Sent by Erica | 11:16 AM ET | 05-10-2007

We are with you, Leroy, in Spirit if not in body. So let go and enjoy.

Kate

Sent by Kate Fuehrer | 11:16 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Hi Leroy, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself... you deserve it! Don't feel guilty, you deserve to be happy. As you know... life it too short. And don't sweat the small stuff!

I myself have been going through various different chemo's for 6+ years. I'm going through clinical trials right now. My cancer is Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and the tumors are in my neck, on each sided spreading under my arms, into my chest around my aorta and into my abdomen. Through each treatment, the tumors will shrink or stay the same, but I haven't been able to get into remission yet, they shrink small enough to make me feel a little better, but they haven't gone away yet.

When I feel good enough to go out and socialize, I get the same thing... "oh, it's so nice to see you out" ! Its hard to explain to my friends why I don't go socializing, and that I'm tired or feel drained and "loopy" most of the time. I hear rumors from them and find a lot of them think I just sit around feeling sorry for myself because they think I look fine and not sick even though I am. Then I start to feel guilty about wasting away the days just sitting or doing my own thing and relaxing at home. They ask if I'm lonely and I tell them not really. I find myself sometime trying to come up with excuses for my "just sitting at home" and I really shouldn't let what they say get to me. I've got some house critters, (my 2 cats, some fish and a snake). I've got my computer and my phone to keep in touch with people. And I also just enjoy going out on my bike (I ride a motorcycle) and just riding around by myself thinking. It can be peaceful. Sometimes it feels good just to do nothing... no stress... "Don't worry... be happy!"

So I say to you, (as I say to myself) don't feel guilty!! You deserve it!

Shirley

Sent by Shirley | 11:18 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy

RELAX!!

ENJOY!!!

You have "done your time"... you DESERVE this...

I know it is hard to simply accept the "good times" like this after what you have been through and also knowing others continue to go through it.. but the truth is.. no one would EVER begrudge you this time of solice.... and denying your own happiness will NOT change anyone else's situation one bit.. other than those immediately around you.. as you make them MISERABLE too by simply denying yourself! :-)

I personally struggled for 30 years and still today sometimes struggle accepting my own happiness... I am not sure the "survivor guilt" ever really goes away... we just need to learn to accept it and live with it and KNOW that we do deserve HAPPINESS and solice too!

Have FUN... wish I was there too! :-)
(other than that hellish plane ride to get there)

Sent by Ronald K. Bye | 11:38 AM ET | 05-10-2007

What Mysteries are you reading????
Indulge, Enjoy, Have some wonderful "down" time.

Sent by Sondra | 11:48 AM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy, I can feel the sun and hear the waves. Chill out, kick-back, do whatever comes to you as a good idea. Don't feel sorry about anything. You're on vacation from the road trip called life.

Sent by Pat Zalewski | 11:49 AM ET | 05-10-2007

To Leroy, from all of us back at the office ---

"I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there"

... I'm Already There.
by Lonestar

Sent by Emile | 12:10 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

Don't waste any time feeling guilty. It's not your fault you got cancer and you are still allowed to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. I think cancer patients always feel a little guilty...feeling that because of something that has happened to you, you are making everyone else miserable. Cancer alone is enough of a hairshirt. If you didn't have cancer you would go to Hawaii and enjoy your mai-tais, so why not now?

I've been thinking about your post on travel and airplanes. I traveled extensively as a youngster and young adult. My father was a geophysicist who travelled to most of the oil-producing countries in the early 60's through the 80's, mapping out where the major reserves could be tapped. No matter where we lived, the motto was this is home and we will like it, no matter what! A lot of times I would take that last step off of the airplane, not knowing what was waiting for me. In a way, I think that experience has helped me through my diagnosis, treatment, and now survivorship ( I still hate that word, but until I come up with something better...!) of cancer. Now, instead of that last step, I wait for scan results, blood tests, biopsies. I hold my breath until I hear my oncologist say, "I think you are doing great." But each time, that last step is there and I never quite know what is waiting for me. I hope that if that last step ever brings less than hoped for news, I will learn to accept it, and make it home, no matter what.

For you, it's Hawaii. For me, it's a little island off the coast of Colombia called San Pedro de la Majagua, where there is a hammock, swaying in the gentle breeze and an ice cold Club Colombia with my name on it.

Best,
Mo Spikes

Sent by Mo Spikes | 12:13 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy,

I think it is nice that you think about the people on your blog - "the family."If you are like me being in a good place (in every sense of the word) is even sweeter when tempered by the other realities of life. I don't believe guilt is healthy, but thinking about us - absolutely!

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:28 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy- But we are with you. I'm working in my cube, wearing my Hawaiian shirt, and I'm part of the collaboration/celebration/vacation. Tomorrow my kids (3 and 7) want to wear their Hawaiian shirts too, so I'll iron great shirts for 3 of us tonight.

Sent by Barbara in NJ | 12:39 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Do not feel guilty, enjoy life today,go for the gold. You did bring up a good word, GUILT, I have been in remission for 33 years from Hodgkins, I find myself feeling guilty when my friends die from cancer, and I did not. It is a lot like soldiers feel when they come home from war. They are really thankful but then remember their brothers in arms who did not come back. I served in Vietnam 5 years before I got my Hodgkins, so I was aware of these feelings, but didn't really understand them until my 10 year remission mark. You just have fight the MONSTER and get as much done as you can, while you are here.

Sent by Sam Means | 12:44 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Please don't feel guilty. For the first time in years, I gave myself permission to go to the beach and allow the waves to crash against my feet. What a wonderful feeling of being alive! Thank you for sharing your vacation with us - trust me - we are there in spirit cheering you on! You have given us such a gift in your sharing yourself us. And I think I will go to the beach again tonight. I will send a couple of waves your way. :0)

Sent by Kay | 12:55 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Survivor guilt. It's a odd thing and, I believe, a dimension of the cancer world. So far, I am almost a three year survivor of breast cancer. I feel that guilt daily. That unanswered question, "Why me?" Well, why not me! I've been told that guilt is a useless emotion. In part, I disagree as it would seem to just disregard those feelings. Perhaps, instead, this is an aspect of this journey/world that should be put to good use. The only way I can channel those emotions in a healthy way is to participate in walk/runs and raise as much money as I can. I do it for those who can't right now and we know that there are too many of them. There are many other ways to channel that guilt. Volunteer, become a mentor to newbies, take your great dog to the Children's Hospital Cancer Unit, assist families with hospice. Perhaps we get those feelings in order to motivator us because once you are in the cancer world, you are always in.

Enjoy this vacation. You've earned it and deserve it.

Sent by Kathy Bauer | 12:58 PM ET | 05-10-2007

I'm fairly new to CancerWorld; coming up on 9 months. In brief, mastectomy to chemo to trying to find the right "5 year pill" to my current stage of recovery; reconstruction.
Question from the new girl, how do we vacation when symptoms persist from our treatments? I know they're many and varied. The pronounced ones for me are neuropathy in my hands and pain in my bones and joints.
It's more than wonderful that you're away, but how do we in CancerWorld "vacation" in our every day? How do we truly have some time without cancer on our minds?
Do we have to embrace it like an unwelcomed pebbles in our shoes and dance through life in spite of it? Have I answered my own question? Are you dancing now? I hope you are. And smiling, too.

Sent by Lorraine | 1:10 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy,
Enjoy the sounds,the scents,and the beauty of living....try not to feel any guilt because the true meaning of life is very real to you. I know you are thinking of everyone else "in the club".... thank you for that. It's part of a beautiful bond that we all share. My wishes for you and Lori are joyful days and peaceful nights! Blessings to you.

Sent by Judith Tynan | 1:28 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Hi Leroy,
Glad you're there in Hawaii. Enjoy to the fullest. I'm the pancreatic patient
who just finished radiation. Next week we're flying up to Seattle (Poulsbo)area to visit an old Marine buddy from 50 years ago. He's another survivor. Diagnosed with melanoma 7 years ago and given 6 months to live. He's as healthy as a horse now. Problem is his wife was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer right after I told them about my cancer. She's not cured but doing well with management. I told her she can get a miracle just as her husband did, and as I expect to also. Positive attitudes count so very much in our world.

Sent by Lou Mayers | 1:34 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Mahalo

Sent by Brit | 2:27 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Dear Leroy:
You are truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing your life, both struggles and hopes, with all of us. You are really amazing. We hope that you and Laurie have a fantastic time on Maui, that you get to see lots of whales, and that you will return next winter so that we can have the pleasure to enable you to be eye to eye with a whale and name it in your honor. We would like to suggest that while you are on the Islands, if you have the opportunity, that you visit Kalaupapa Historic National Park and the holy grounds of Blessed Father Damien of Molokai, a Belgian priest who dedicated his life to working with leprosy patients on Molokai in the 1800's. The experience is amazing. In the light of the fact that Fr. Damien is currently being considered in Rome for canonization to sainthood for healing a terminally-ill cancer patient, that May 10th is the feast day of Blessed Fr. Damien, and that Fr. Damien interceded to miraculously save Mark's life, we pray that through the intercession of Blessed Fr. Damien of Molokai, you may experience a miraculous healing and that Our Lord will send you innumerable blessings throughout your life.
Our Love to you and Laurie, Aloha, Debbie, Mark, and Chantelle
Center for Whale Studies

Sent by Mark, Debbie, and Chantelle Ferrari | 3:39 PM ET | 05-10-2007

WHHHHHHHHOOOOO WHO ! You enjoy and relax....you deserve it!!

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 3:48 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Enjoy the trip to paradise. Leave the guilt for another time. Who could possibly deserve this trip more than you? Nobody. We're with you.

Sent by Dave U. | 4:18 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Dear Leroy, It sounds like you are suffering from a case of survivor guilt. Don't you dare! ;-) For all of us, enjoy and don't give us a thought. We have lots of others thinking about us. My husband and I leave for Paris at the end of this month, in between my chemo sessions. I plan on enjoying myself and want you to as well. Just think how far you have come and how hard you have fought to be where you are and under the best of circumstances - not because you are terminally ill, but because you are not! May you be blessed with blue skies, sand between your toes, delicious mai tais and ahi tuna and a clear conscience! Aloha...

Sent by Ellie Algatt | 4:42 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Dera Mr. Sievers. My wife enjoyed your show with Mr. Kopple. I have had pancreatic cancer that has gone into my liver.
Was wondering if you could pass this on to (along with my email address) Ms. Stephanie Dornbrook who also has pancreatic cancer. Would like to discuss with her, the type we both have and how it is being treated.
My type is a rare form of non-funtioning Islet Cell and there is no treatment for it.

Sent by Juan Falcon | 4:55 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Thanks for the postcard. Maybe next time i'll meet you there! Pretty bold for someone you have never met. lol I to love Hawaii. Something about the air. Just feels like someone you love is wrapping their arms around you. You know as well as any of us when you have the energy or the chance, RUN WITH IT BABY! Enjoy your time. You and your wife need to be wiggling your toes in the sand, holding hands and loving this time together. All this cancer stuff just makes these times mean so much more..

Sent by christine | 5:26 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy,
Enjoy the mai tais and the beautiful location. You deserve it after your trip to hell and back.
We'll all enjoy it with you vicariously.
Don't get caught up in the guilt.
I had my third anniversary checkup yesterday and all was clear. When I walked by the chemo room and saw all the women getting treatment, for just a moment I felt a little guilty. So I took a deep breath and let it go. Aloha!

Sent by Mary Sebastiani | 5:44 PM ET | 05-10-2007

It's okay to enjoy your blessings, Leroy. Each of us is blessed in a special way, so rejoice and enjoy. Many thanks for lifting my spirits in so many ways.
Peace, Joan

Sent by Joan | 6:34 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy, you brought tears to my eyes today, because I was so touched by the idea of you thinking about all of us back here in cancer world. While I wish you wouldn't feel guilty (because we all deserve a fabulous vacation at some point in the cancer journey!), I can appreciate why you feel that way, and I thank you for thinking all those good and kind thoughts for your (not so) little blog family.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 6:57 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy-
I was recalling recently, the days of sitting for hours on end staring at a blank pale green wall. Frequently I would conjur up the soft sounds of waves lapping against the shore of a lake where our family frequently vacationed growing up. I returned there only once since then, and that was a somber ocassion to spread the ashes of my wonderful "Aunt" Jean. I plan to return this summer, and truly relish in the one of the most relaxing moments in the past four years.
I don't quite see it as guilt, but I believe more so, enjoying the life that those that left before us wanted us to live

Sent by Ehren Heyer | 7:06 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Hi Leroy,
I'm new to this board. Never even heard of you until watching you on The Discovery Channel. I was very inspired by your story and know exactly what you went through - well - to some degree. I did post the other day explaining a little bit about myself. I was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 2 years ago. Did the mastectomies - chemo - radiation so understand all that. Thankfully, I was stage 2 and my cancer didn't spread to any other parts of my body. BUT I can and do relate to just living with a cancer diagnosis - the uncertainties - the fears and the overall learning to live "with our new normals." I, too, have experienced "survivor guilt" and wondered many times "why I'd been spared what so many others go through?" Naturally, only God knows the answer to that question and I believe He has spared me (at least for now) to finish doing the work I am here on earth to do.

Enjoy your trip - savor each and every moment. Life is a gift - each breath is a gift and the only difference between you, me and the person who never heard the words "you have cancer" is that we were forced to look at our mortality - our mortality literally smacked us in the face - said to us WAKE UP. We are the fortunate ones. We had the time - the warning - to pay attention to our life. Some never get that chance.

Sip a mai tai for me. OK?

Hugs from Wisconsin -

Mary Jo

Sent by Mary Jo | 7:24 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Hope you are unwinding! Let the guilt go 'cause it serves no purpose. You are where you are because you are supposed to be where you are. Profound, huh!

I believe that we have a purpose in life. Some find it early while others find it later. Your purpose is to do what you have done and are doing each day for all of us - give us a voice, bind all of us kindred souls together to support each other and you by following your blog each day. This is your purpose now but perhaps it was something else before. It is not a burden but a noble purpose given to a noble man, you. Think for just a moment how much you have affected hundreds perhaps thousands of people in such a positive way. As the word spreads, more will come because of what you offer - understanding, comfort, care, support and solace. You offer us all a safe place to express our fears openly to a ready audience of kindred souls who have walked or are walking a common path, Living with Cancer.

Please enjoy your time in paradise ' cause you have seen the hell of cancer.

Blessings as always for you and yours and the larger group you have drawn together on this blog.

Sent by Al Cato | 7:30 PM ET | 05-10-2007

I was lucky enough to be able to move to a place on the ocean when I was no longer able to work due to multiple myeloma. The water, light and skies are a daily reminder of how fortunate I truly am. I have taken up painting / revisited journeling; something I planned to do when I retired (well I guess I am retired, sorta). Enjoy your vacation, and thank you for so eloquently and accurately expressing yourself. Here's to another Mai Tai. julie

Sent by julie baxter | 7:34 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Do not feel guilty - enjoy every moment.
You are enjoying it for all of us in cancer world because we share your joy as well as your trials. You deserve this. Thanks for sharing your fun:)

Sent by Vicki | 8:08 PM ET | 05-10-2007

I watched the documentary and read your blog for the first time today. I was so struck by your wish that the only radiation bombarding your readers was the sun. While I was undergoing radiation treatment for breast cancer last year, I imagined exactly that. Each day as the treatment started, I imagined I was on the beach in Hawaii being warmed by the healing rays of the sun. (I did worry a little it might change my experience of Hawaii the next time I go back, but it got me through a challenging time.) Have a fabulous trip, you deserve it! Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

Sent by Bonnie S. | 8:24 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy and Ted thanks for your special the other night. It was a great insight to the trials and tibulations we as cancer patients go through. I think you opened many peoples eyes to how emotionally and physically draining this experience can be. So Leroy enjoy the sun and the drinks. I have a special - place Siesta Key, Fla. That I consider my soul searching place. And my celebreation place. I pray everyday that I will see that place again and be able to thank the lord. I was told I had Pancreatic cancer in Dec. 2005. Had surgery and Chemo. You tell people it is Pancreatic and they look down and say "Oh I'm sorry". Boy that just cuts right threw you. You know some of us do make it and beleive me I plan to be one of them. I was clear in Nov. 2006 but in Jan. of this year I was told it spread to both of my lungs. Now I am in a trial at the James Cancer Clinic at The Ohio State University and back to the grind of chemo. Now when people see my chemo port in my chest they assume I have breast cancer. Why because I am a 47 year old women I ask? They say yes because they do not about Pancreatic cancer. I guess my next challange is to work on getting the word out. I have the pleasure right now of emailing with Stephanie. We hooked up after your show aired. Her husband attends the same cancer support group that my mother attends. So again thank you. Your show helped in so many ways for me and I plan on being a new member of your email family. I look forward to continuing to read your blog and wish you nothing but sunshine blue skys and a life cancer free. Cathy - Columbus,OH

Sent by Cathy Kern | 8:37 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy-
I'm going to chemo on Monday and I'll wear a hawaiian shirt in your honor and lie back and listen to the waves, soak up the sun, and dream that I'm sitting on the beach right there with you. Enjoy yourself- we are living vicariously through you!

Sent by debbie | 9:00 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Dear, Leroy.

I wanted to respond to the post by Juan Falcon and Ms. Stephanie Dornbrook, as I also have non-functioning Islet Cell carcinoma that metastasized to my liver. I suspect we could all benefit from sharing our treatment experiences. Please pass my e-mail on to them when you have a moment. Thanks and keep enjoying your vacation. No guilt allowed, only joy...and sunscreen...;->

Sent by Erica | 10:05 PM ET | 05-10-2007

from robert again in triple hot phoenix, left when you did with younger son camping at the beach a in carlsbad calif, listning to the surf like , you , campfire just like last year, and the year before that////////// cept, we are now in your class of hope, and wonder?/ gosh i like my life now after the radition and chemo atomic bombs, this is the scond time around, so lets all keep praying for the newbe:s , and the ones that make it to the oldbe s, like us

Sent by roberthighsmith | 11:16 PM ET | 05-10-2007

Leroy, I understand survivor's guilt. It's hard to shake. But keep in mind that your success story, every success story is a lifeline of hope for other cancer patients. Hearing about someone surviving is like being under fire in a war zone and watching someone making it across the field. Maybe we can make it too. Even if the odds are bad, we saw someone make it. So there's a chance. The remission is your blessing. Knowing your story is ours. Thanks for sharing it with us. We love that you're sipping Mai Tai's and are with you in spirit.

Sent by Laura | 11:54 PM ET | 05-10-2007

I saw your documentary and read your blog for the first time today. Thank you for sharing your personal life with us. It was one year ago when my husband was diagnosed with stage three squamous cell esophageal cancer. He received radiation/chemotherapy treatment for seven weeks. He received his first CT scan and everthing looked good. Three months later when he went back for his first three month check up it had metastized throughout both lung fields. He has been on chemotherapy for the past six months and not responding, the tumors are getting larger instead of smaller. I have not yet reached the acceptance stage but your show did give me some hope and inspiration about the new drugs they are using. If you have any input or have any further knowledge about esophageal cancer survival rate i would appreciate your input. And i wish you the best of luck, you are an inspiration to all

Sent by sasha | 1:14 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy! Enjoy! We are there with you. I had chemo today and because of so many mixups/problems in the clinic I sat in the chemo room for 2.5 hours instead of 1 hour. I fell asleep at one point and was dreaming that I was floating in the ocean. So, maybe I was there with you. We have to take our breaks and rewards when we can get them. Don't worry will will get ours too. Enjoy!

btw I decided to tell a couple more people about my reoccurance...it does fell a little better.

Sent by Jill | 2:09 AM ET | 05-11-2007

It actually gives me a lot of pleasure to think of you relaxing with Lori in Hawaii. Sort of like, "Take that, Cancer!" It puts a big smile on my face.

But at the same time, I think I can understand how you're feeling about the ones you left behind, too. There's a level of intensity and honesty in relationships with others who are struggling with cancer that is unusual. To find oneself back in the "real world" for awhile must feel a little strange...sort of like getting out of prison, but then finding yourself missing those you knew so well and cared about back in the joint?

Anyway, thanks for the postcard. Hope you come home relaxed and tan.

Sent by Doris | 2:21 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy, Iam so happy for you. You do deserve the peace. Something that has eluded you for far too long. I am sure you've heard this,"Thank You!" I recorded the show "living with cancer". It has helped me open up and share some of the feelings,(which you voiced perfectly on the program), I go through with my family. I am facing my third go around with Adrenal Cortical Cancer. I have been fortunate. I have battled this disease 16 years. I have a wonderful family and a 5 year old boy the docters said I would never have. Unfortunately after 2 rounds of radiation and 13 total surgeries, the cancer has really taken hold this time and it does not look good. I smile as I close my eyes and picture you sitting in the sun, enjoying a drink. After all you have been through, and all you have done to help others facing this dreaded disease you deserve many years of peace, and we are praying for a long life as well. You have helped me face the inevitable, but still hold on to some kind of hope. Something, I think prior to the show had started to slip away. God bless you. Enjoy Hawaii and the rest of a long life.

Sent by Joe Thiedt | 2:51 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Hi Leroy,

Please stop feeling guilty! Just relax and enjoy!! Don't let guilt creep in and steal time from your much needed and well-deserved vacation! Savor and enjoy it. This is also an important healing experience for you. So try to relax, try to focus on being in the moment & not letting the guilt cloud your day (no matter how hard it might be, the guilt serves no positive purpose for you). And try not to post everyday! Hey, you are on VACATION, lol!

P.S. (I am a first time poster on your blog.) Super enjoyed and appreciated your documentary the other night, and even found myself struggling to fight back tears at times. I am the mother of a 2 year old who was recently diagnosed with leukemia. He is in remission, but still in treatment. The most important lessons that I have learned from our experience are that life is so very precious and it can be so beautiful at times, and to appreciate & enjoy this beauty on a much more intense level than I had previously, and also to just love and savor the company and time spent with loved ones. You must savor your precious time in Hawaii right now. Thanks for everything you have done and continue to do by sharing your story, educating people and inspiring others. Now go have another Mai Tai, enjoy the outstanding scenery & weather, definitely enjoy your company, or a take a delicious nap in the shade while the crashing waves serenade you.

Sent by Maggie Compton | 3:29 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Very jealous of you right now, but so glad you are enjoying yourself!!!

Sent by Miriam | 6:07 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy, Enjoy and relax! You've inspired me again - reminded me that I've always wanted to go to Hawaii and haven't yet. I better get going!

Sent by Marilyn | 6:21 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy: dont feel guilty.. I am heading to the chemo room... but as I drift to sleep ( bendryl works wonders..) I will think of Hawaii.. which is one of the places I will visit once this is all done..
Enjoy! You deserve it! we all do!
X
Francesca

Sent by Francesca Giessmann | 6:49 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Oh, but don't you see that you have given everyone with cancer a gift far more enduring even than a ticket to Hawaii? With your travel our spirits rise that we too may go into remission. With your stories come the gift of Information The Doctors Never Give You, and that is that even tho the statistics look very very grim one MIGHT still overcome them for a brief -or perhaps even a long - time and soar. MUCH better than a trip to Hawaii.

Thank you,

Sent by Nsncy O | 7:14 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy, did you ever think you would be so loved by total strangers. Interesting how life plays out. You are now "king of the realty shows". I am sure that is something you never thought would ever happen either. You have joined so many people together by doing the documentary and blog. You have opened peoples eyes and most importantly the lines of communciation. What is going on here (documentary/blog)not only helps people dealing with cancer but other life altering situations. Just knowing there is a network of people going through the same thing and sending there good wishes and hope to everyone else in the network is a powerful tool. Enjoy the rest of your vacation.

Sent by karen cop | 7:57 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Thanks for thinking of us leroy. It's good to see people do take a vacation right after treatment. I'm planning mine which will be a challenge. No vacation time left at work not to mention $$ from bills. But I'll do it one way or another. Enjoy your time and keep writing; it's providing some nice visualizations for me.

Sent by Lisa | 7:59 AM ET | 05-11-2007

I am on my way out the door to my final chemo treatment this morning. I hope you enjoy every moment of your vacation, feel no guilt, and have many cancer free moments of pleasure.

Sent by Jan | 8:42 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy~ I, too, just heard of you for the first time on the Koppel special. What a powerful message you gave; so raw but inspiring! I was diagnosed with Hurthle Cell Thyroid Cancer when I was about 20 weeks pregnant with my precious Sophia, after undergoing a partial thyroidectomy at 18 weeks along. I was only 25 years old. On May 3, 2007, I went in for a metastatic bone survey and scan of my lungs...I totally related to the agony of waiting for the results...it was a terrifying WEEK of waiting. BUT I'm a lucky one...my cancer HAS NOT spread to my bones or lungs! All I can attribute that to is prayer and our God.

I just wanted you know to how much your story has helped me AND my family and inspired me to LIVE my LIFE! I start radioactive iodine treatment in August and am hoping that will be it. I wish I was there in Hawaii with you physically, but I'm there in spirit. I will visit your site daily for inspiration and hope...thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story with the world. I hope you realize how much HOPE you have given to all of us in "Cancer World". Drink a Mai Tai for all of us and I hope that when you feel the sand between your toes or feel the sun beaming on your face, you feel all the well wishes and prayers coming your way. You have touched my life forever.

Sent by Tess from KY | 9:14 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy:

Enjoy Hawaii, you deserve the break, both from the cancer and from being our hero.

We have been off the blog for a couple of weeks...back in the hospital with the husband.

We were able to watch your Discovery piece late Sunday night...despite fighting sleep at times as things weren't going well that night and we were so tired. My husband's only comment was "everyone looks too good" where are those of us who can't stop throwing-up...who are dying and won't get that break. You and I know they were there, but he is becoming depressed and doesn't see things as hopeful much anymore; things are much more desparate now and even my state of denial and calm are wearing thin.

In fact, going to the hospital seems a safe place for Burge...a place where they can give him something for the pain, immediately, and I suspect this may become his new home out of fear.

He's lost another five pounds and in his clothes doesn't look too bad, just like the people in your TV show, but undressed all the tone he used to work so hard at keeping (he is a farmer and worked very hard physically) is gone and my 50 year old husband looks like my 94 year old Mother with his hanging skin and ribs showing. To him, the man he used to be is gone forever and has been replaced by some old person with tubes coming out all parts of his body.

Maybe the world isn't ready for pictures of those who don't make it and I agree we must keep what dignity they still have alive, but there is that other side of dying that has no dignity and when your viewers see it, they may run for those cancer screening tests. They need too.

love as always,
Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 9:30 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Hi Leroy,
Enjoy it for us. I am past treatment but my head is still in a bad place. Each person gets their own suffering. You've had yours. Now enjoy your peace. It's a tribute to your generosity to wish to share the peace and beauty.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:38 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Hawaii is one of my favorite places in the world. I've only been there once, but I can close my eyes and imagine you there with the deep blue ocean and fantastic foliage. It always reminded me of Dr. Seuss. I am 39 and recently diagnosed (a month ago) with lymphoma of the duodenum, which my docs tell me is very rare. I don't know the future, but I am scared. As someone here wrote, my friends are sympathetic, but they just can't understand about the elephant in the room. I feel so lucky that I have come across your blog and want you to know how much your words have spoken to me and given me comfort. Thank you for that and please say hello to the Honus for me! I wish you the best.

Sent by Cassandra Kniffin | 9:57 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Have a great, great time. Hawaii is THE best. When I was there post-chemo, I kept wondering if any Hawaiian tourism agency has looked at the number of cancer patient/survivor visiters they get. It seems like every cancer patient dreams of going to Hawaii. Keep having a wonderful time. Aloha!

Sent by Martha | 10:17 AM ET | 05-11-2007

Leroy-

Please don't spend your time in paradise feeling guilty, in any respect.

In my 3 1/2 year cancer experience (presented with metastatic breast cancer at the age of 32 and 7 months pregnant), I've found the (preferably beach) vacations that I've been fortunate enough to take to be the closest escape from the cancer rigamarole available, and have luckily returned refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to head back to the regularly scheduled programming of my treatment schedule upon my inevitable return.

This isn't to say that cancer hasn't interfered in some trips. I did have to receive IV fluids etc. at a posh Caribbean resort from the barefoot "house doctor," who my husband assisted by finding a hangar from which to hang the fluid bag from the headboard -- not quite the professional standard I'd grown accustomed to. That trip was abbreviated as said husband was quick to get me back to the States, just in case. Now all trips are taken with maps to the nearest major medical facility in hand and taken only to locations with such facilities in reach. Nevertheless, I keep seeking out the beach and even take chemo-breaks to accomodate them and to insure a few "better" days. I now accept these trips as deserved and even necessary.

Like you, I often ponder when and how to determine that it's time to leave all of this behind and head to paradise (and I speak of the tropical and not the spiritual kind here) for good. It's not time yet for either of us, so consider this trip part of your treatment plan and soak up the sun for if nothing else it's good for the soul.

Enjoy your escape, and don't worry about any of us back home.

On a slightly more general topic, I want to thank you for your participation here and in the "Living with Cancer" program with T. Koppel. For a long time, I've been struggling with how to communicate to others the difference between "living" with cancer as opposed to being in treatment for a less advanced diagnosis or being a "survivor." It is a special kind of limbo, a different place to exist, and your honesty and frankness both on the program and in the NPR pieces has certainly helped others to better understand the difference and unique considerations of living with cancer. Fortunately, with the continued development of new generation drugs (Herceptin being my favorite and responsible for my being alive today) there will be more and more people "living with cancer" and I believe that it's important for conversation about what that is and what it means to be taking place both within the medical establishment and without. You've made a hero's commitment and a prized contribution -- thank you.

And, finally, you've gotta love RFA, huh? I've already had 2 liver tumor RFAs and am planning a third as new lesions make themselves known. Like you, my procedure (treating breast cancer lesions on the liver as opposed to liver cancer) was considered fairly new if not experimental. Luckily there are a few docs out there willing to take a chance on a girl with widespread disease...

Sent by Megan | 12:37 PM ET | 05-11-2007

Dear Leroy, I didn't realize that you were in Hawaii when I wrote to you earlier this morning. I was too consumed with telling you about my situation. I just want you to know that I am so happy to hear that you are relaxing and enjoying your vacation. Again, the very best to you. You are a wonderful human being and I am so so happy that I got involved with these wonderful people on your site and able to share my thoughts. And by the way, easy with the Mai Tais, lol

Sent by sasha | 1:42 PM ET | 05-11-2007

Dear Leroy,

I've got a story I'd like to share.

When I first started a new chemo/biologic agent protocol for a brain tumor, I asked my neuro-oncologist to put me in touch with somebody who had been through it. Somebody I could talk to. And he did. He put me in touch with a lovely woman who'd really been through the wringer. She had a non-operable glioblastoma, and she'd been on this new protocol for about six months. She gave me plenty of insight into the protocol, but one comment particularly stuck in my mind. She said,

"I always got better when I went on vacation."

Somehow, I found that comment to be a real guilt soother. You're not vacationing, Leroy, you're healing. Cancer cells absolutely HATE Hawaii.

Sent by Jordis | 3:55 PM ET | 05-11-2007

Thanks for being on TV. Glad to have met you! I feel pretty alone in this thing. My lungs and lymph notes are clear. I'd hoped for the word remission this week, but my chest is still actively doing something. I'm not sure Stage IV ever really goes away, does it?

Sent by Diane | 10:05 PM ET | 05-11-2007

Mahalo, Mr. Sievers*
God Bless You and Ted Koppel for this documentary, to broaden the awareness..THAT IS MUCH NEEDED*
So many, are floundering with what to do for our loved one, who has cancer, in Phase IV. There are NO Phase IV, Clinical Trials...that I have seen. My brother just had a Pet Scan, this past Monday5/07. The faxed report from the radiologist states that his cancer has grown and looks to have spread.
At his APPT on Fri morn', his oncologist states his tumor looks smaller. So, the oncologist berates the radiologists here in our town.....so, J. is going for a 3rd opinion at Karmonos, to an oncologist who has his history. Then---he will decide whether to try radio frequency ablation....which looks to be his ONLY HOPE* His oncologist here, stated..yesterday morn', that "it" would NOT prolong his Life for a Day*....What kind of statement is that?! I had printed all of the info needed for his "visit" to "his DR.". so, he could be referred to John Hopkins.
My brother looks great---it is not like he is on his death bed!!! He was diagnosed last July with non-small cell/adenocarcinoma in the lung that moved to his spine, as well. He had some chemo, and radiation---and is on Avastin/Zometa. As you stated---The cancer patient is on a never-ending roller coaster ride, of not knowing!!
I am new to your blog, and feel so grateful for it; I am sorry, for writing so much, but it has helped eleviate the anguish I feel in my heart, for my brother and Now, as I read.... to so many Others. Thank You

Sent by Diane Hurley, Michigan | 11:35 AM ET | 05-12-2007

Hi Larry, We really enjoyed your documentary. I found it oddly reassuring. My husband was dignosed with Bladder Cancer in Oct 2004 at the (young for that type of cancer)age of 57. He actually had two separate types of cancer at diagnosis. He's had multiple recurrances,three types of chemo and most recently had his bladder and other pelvic organs removed in Nov.

I have to admit to jealousy that you've been able to travel to Hawaii, but the good kind. A happy jealousy.

We went to Montana the last two summers, but each year we have sandwiched 3 or 4 days away between chemo treatments.

This summer we'll take time off and stay home when our new grandchild arrives...almost better than a beach, but we'll continue to dream of a real vacation.

Glad you made your trip and tickled that you could make it under such good circumstances.

Sent by Lennea | 12:07 AM ET | 05-13-2007

Aloha, Leroy!!
It's midnight and I have just returned from a week in Playa del Carmen, Mexico - my bit of paradise. I just read your post from Hawai'i and can appreciate your excitement about getting away - to just BE: Leroy, by the pool with a cocktail in hand; not Leroy the cancer patient. Being between treatments, with energy and appetite to spare, my time away was healing: hot sun, cold margaritas, turquoise water, white sand, and a friend to solve the world's problems with. Now it's back to chemo - but with a smile on my face that will last for a good while - AND a new tattoo!
Enjoy - you deserve it!!

Sent by Alan Beauregard | 12:21 AM ET | 05-13-2007

Saw only part of the "living with Cancer" .Will it run again. Our son just finished a year of surgery, radiation, chemo (staph, abcesses,neutropena, etc) for esthemianeuroblastomabut is in remission

Sent by Evelyn | 2:48 PM ET | 05-14-2007

ENJOY!!! Wake up early to watch the sunrise, nap on the beach, watch the beautiful sunset... make beautiful memories with your wife!!! nah you don't need us there for that...

Sent by Cheryl | 12:46 AM ET | 05-15-2007

My husband and I watched the documentary last week and, despite his initially not wanting to watch it, he said it helped him. He was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer five years ago May 7. It has been a roller coaster ride with four surgeries and almost constant chemo (which he will be on "the rest of his life".

Jim has blossomed during this time, discovering new friends (rediscovering old), good will, prayers and support.

I am grateful for the attention cancer is getting as it makes Jim feel less alone. Unfortunately there is little said to help the Care-giver. It was disappointing to have only a little said at the end of your documentary (and seemingly unplanned.)

There are many days I feel totally alone. As Jim's disease progresses he becomes more inward and there are many feelings I cannot share with him - even though our communication continues to improve throughout this illness.

In Dayton, OH there are no support groups for the caregivers (alone, without partners.) Our local cancer society is focused on fund raising.

I see a psychologist alone and together we see a social worker several times a month. But I need to be with other care-givers. This is an area that needs more attention. We are our loved ones' life-lines. As our spouses fight for their lives, our lives are being drained from us by grief and exhaustion.

Sent by Ann Wilger | 7:07 AM ET | 05-15-2007

Reading your articles made me teary-eyed. Around this time last year my husband became ill but his cancer was not diagnosed until mid June. Believing that his inability to walk was due to a sprained foot and the pain in his chest was the fall from the couch, when the doctors told me that he had metastasis all over his body I found myself trembling all over. The only question I posed was. "doc, how long". His response was "months". In less than two months my husband died of lung cancer which had spread all over this body, ( his brain, spinal column, bones and vital organs.) He was not able to enjoy his last few weeks as he was completely bedridden; he could not even be moved. I prayed for God to take him quickly to spare him the pain and suffering. All of us (his family and friends) stood by him all the while until he his last breath. There are no words to explain what I went through as a caregiver. My husband needed me and I gave him the care and love knowing that I owed him that much.

Sent by Dolly | 2:54 PM ET | 05-22-2007

Leroy, I saw my doc today, and all seems to be going well. Issues with the Chemo, of course, but you can't stop. I hope there are many guys working in basements, and I hope they are in a rush. My only second choice, at this point, is Interluekin II a drug so toxic, it has a 10% to 15% mortality rate, at the time of infusion. Don't think I'm going there any time soon, but, at some point, who knows. You have to try everything possible to beat the beast. Glad you are still doing well, and Thanks. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 5:25 PM ET | 05-23-2007

I was diagnosed 7 years ago with lung cancer. It was discovered when I had a chest x-ray for a pre-employment physical. It is a long story, maybe for another time, but your blog entry yesterday struck a cord with me. I have said all along that my diagnosis and surgery was probably harder on my husband than it was on me. I, after all, was being actively treated. He, however, was left to sit on the sidelines absolutely helpless. I am very fortunate to be married to a wonderful man who held me, cried with me, supported me and never left my side. I went on to be a social worker at a local hospital and one of my responsibilities was the oncology floor. You are right when you say not everyone can stand the pressure of living with cancer day in and day out because it never really leaves you.

Sent by Mary Lee Hart | 8:37 PM ET | 05-23-2007