so sorry to hear that. several times yesterday I wished I had your cel phone to call you as you were in my toughts a lot. nothing to say other than: Hang in there, at least now you know the beast you are fighting! hard day for me as the intrathecal chemo makes me so sick and gives me a massive headache and now I am off to "normal chemo"....
i am thinking of you... actually ... I am thinking of all of us battling THE BEAST!!!
xo
fg

Sent by Francesca Giessmann | 6:44 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy, I am sorry the news was not good, but I am glad that you can take strength from the community you have created here. I am amazed by your ability to write this blog every day, good news or bad; I have been given several journals but I just don't have anything I want to write. Instead I have been greedlily reading your blog and you have given voice to so many of my fears, dilemmas, and joys. It is hard to get back to the grind of medical decisions and procedures. Still there can be time for living! You will be in my prayers, Louise

Sent by Louise Kuklis | 7:05 AM ET | 06-07-2007

The news we all didn't want to hear!!! Even in the face of the news,Leroy, remain hopeful. Take this day and perhaps another one to go through the range of emotions...and afterwards, get to the business at hand as you have done before. One of cancer's many weapons is to just sap your fighting spirit.. Please don't allow that to happen.

The new fight will need your energy - physical and emotional and spiritual. Draw upon each to help you along each day.

Please reflect to your immediate past...you have done this before so you can and will do it again (beat cancer into submission and shake hands with NED). No time for second-guessing or woulda's, coulda's and shoulda's. Your mind, body and spirit have helped you through some very harrowing times in war zones. Draw upon these again for this new fight.

I am sad at the news but I am also hopeful for you. We want and need you around for a long time to come! You are our muse, our kindred spirit and most of all, our friend!!!

Let the prayer chain commence...

Keep the faith, friend!!

Sent by Al Cato | 7:06 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

Words fail me. I am so sorry to hear of this turn in the road; I had high hopes the results would be clean.

You're right, we are there for you. Friends are like that. And you, my friend, can always count on me.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 7:15 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I have just started reading your accounts. I almost wrote "good luck" yesterday, but then didn't. I'm sorry to hear of your news. Will be reading along with you as you go forward.

Sent by Joyce Smith | 7:20 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I'm so sorry Leroy... I know how much you were hoping that yesterdays scans would be clear...

But then again.. look at how far you've come.

I will be praying for you.
Heather
http://www.especiallyheather.com

Sent by Heather | 7:21 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy I have been following your blog for a year and admire your courage to articulate the entire range of your experiences. You have served as a mirror for me and thousands of others. I am at 4 years, 4 months cancer free since my surgery- enjoying an ordinary life- a precious gift cancer tends to dominate. I am saddened by the results of your scan, but not shocked. My Oncologist made the distinction between phase III and IV brutally clear. You have had to contend with that reality for a long time and you have done so with amazing generousity. If living with purpose is our common goal, you have done so during your ordeal. Brave souls hate to be called heroes, but you are clearly one. Your willingness to communicate eases the fear and pain of others. I just wanted to say thank you again, as so many others have done. We are diminished by your pain and inspired by your honesty.

Sent by Jerry Boriskin | 7:22 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

I am saddened by the reports and the reality. Your dreams are still yours and you can continue to dream and should. You saw the opportunity for normalcy and took it, and I feel you will continue to embrace life and your future.

I feel the same for Stephanie, I re-read both of your entries, hers from yesterday and yours from today. The reality is, you never know when the "beast" will loom its ugly head again and have to continue to live, dream, and move forward until you cannot any longer.

We are out here for you and all.

Sent by Susan Chap | 7:25 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy

I am deeply sorry for the less than great news...........

We are walking along with you... lean on us for just a bit here along this bumpy and twisting road........

You are not alone.............

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

~Ron

Sent by Ronald K. Bye | 7:34 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh Leroy, we all hurt for you....and as you said, we are all in this together. Continue to be brave and look this sucker squarely in the eye. Let this disease know you are not quite done with it yet, not visa versa!! Carpe Diem!!

Sent by Karen | 7:34 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, I am so sorry about the bad news. But, of course, as you would say to us, it could have been worse. You have a plan and you will push through it with all the class and style that you have already demonstrated. You know how to do this and lots of people are beside you.

I am so glad that you had the break, so glad that you got to Hawaii. The energy from that will fuel the next leg of your journey.

CANCER SUCKS!!!

Sent by Marilyn | 7:36 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, I'm so sorry to hear your cancer is back. I know i'm "supposed" to say, you'll fight this! and BE positive! and all that is great, but i also know this disease just sucks and in my opinion its ok to be upset about it for a bit and then just not stay in that dark place. I'm sure you WILL fight this and so many people are in your corner. I also know how hard this journey can be, i'm learning more and more about it every day. One scan and treatment at a time.
Thats all we can do, works for me so far.

Sent by Jenn | 7:37 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Mr. Sievers,

I think there are a number of us who thought of you yesterday, and who upon reading today's news will sorrow with you over the findings. My mother, in the midst of her fight, kept a teabag tag on the refrigerator that simply said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." Courage to you; courage, hope, strength, faith and grace.

Sent by R L Janus | 7:45 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Husband na dI are heading up to see his family that he did not get to see last year since he was sick for five months. The doctors could not find the problem and decided it was in his mind. We did not dare travel too far from his doctors if he would take a turn for the worse. Which can happen so fast.

I had to search to see how your scans came out before we left. I am sorry that they were not what you was hoping for. Now you will just have to fight a little more aggressive and we need to widen the prayer chain. The cancer doctors, where my husband goes, says that they do all they can but that the prayers can really help so much more.

Sent by Jill Tanking | 7:46 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Please know that we feel your pain as well. Every post I read where people are struggling with the Beast hurts me.

My HS English teacher told us that empathy comes from having that same experience. Whereas sympathy is compassion without having experienced the same situation.

In my case, I empathize with the feeling of the slap in the face. My lung cancer beast waited till the 5 year anniversary to show itself in the other lung - just as we were planning to celebrate thinking I had made it.

Sympathy or empathy - there are a lot of us out here who were holding our breaths and are feeling very sad at your news today. I will pray for your continued strength and good medical help.

Sent by Sara (MD) | 7:50 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Sorry to hear that it is back. I am relatively new to this site. My Dad was just diagnosed with colon cancer. We were hoping for surgery but found it has already invaded his liver. The news was very hard to accept. Your blog is helping me understand how to help my Dad through this time. I wish the best for you!!

Sent by Laura Richter | 7:51 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh Leroy, I had such a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I read the title of your blog this morning. I was anxious to check the blog - hoping for good news and yet dreading reading the bad. I'm so very sorry.

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 7:51 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Devastating news. Some how we thought all the hope and faith expressed by members of this blog would be able to cheat cancer, at least for a while more.
Please keep on fighting, we need you.

Sent by Jacqueline Roose | 7:52 AM ET | 06-07-2007

crap! I was holding out hope that you would have some great news for us today. On the bright side....at least it hasn't spread through your entire body and left you with only weeks to live. You have a a great medical team that is willing to help you fight this beast. (that is not a given in our situations) I am negotiating with phase I research nurses to try to get into a trial. I feel like my doc has written me off (part of me knows(hopes) he hasn't) and I can't find another clinic or doctor that will see me (other than in a clinical trial).
Keep fighting, we will be there with you. I know the day will come when the key to all this Cancer crap will be unlocked....if we can just hold on long enough.....

It's time to have a good cry and then back to the fight.

your friend,

Jill

http://myspacejill.blogspot.com/

Sent by Jill | 7:52 AM ET | 06-07-2007

because of your latest news for you and stephanie D ,today will be a very sad day for all of us.

Sent by marianne dalton | 8:00 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
Sorry to hear your news. Hope you had that cheesesteak anyway! You are very special to a lot of people and we will all be praying for your comfort. Thank God you had your trip to Hawaii. Thank you for being a blessing for others. We feel your pain here in cancer world.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 8:03 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
We all hate this news. Patients and caregivers alike. We are all together now, thanks to this blog, like some extended family. Each of us is battling this disease in one way or another, and all worried. Terrified of the "what if". But as so many have said, there is a comfort in checking in every day and finding we are not alone. Somebody else is just as worried. And facing reality. One thing I do know, is you will continue to lead us through this frightening reality. And I'll be checking in every day and finding something to help me get through this. Thank you for being honest with with "us". -- Debbie

Sent by Debbie Carlson | 8:06 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh no Leroy...

I have no words.

Sent by Lori Levin | 8:08 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I was sorry to learn about the results of your scan. I've been following your blogs ever since I watched the documentary, "Living with Cancer." They are interesting and insightful. A dear friend of mine had surgery in 2005 for colon cancer, followed by chemo. So far, he's doing well. Take care of yourself, and I wish you the very best.

Sent by Bobbie Liegus | 8:27 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy-
I am so sorry that your news wasn't better. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by Kate | 8:30 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,
I'm so, so sorry to hear this news. My heart feels heavy for you and I don't know what else to say except SLAP BACK!

Sent by Marylee | 8:49 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

I'm so sorry. I was really hoping you would get good news from your scan.

For what it's worth, please know that someone in Cincinnati cares.

Jane

Sent by Jane | 8:52 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I checked first thing this morning to find out and now I have tears in my eyes. The posts of the last few months gave such hope and a taste of your "before" life. They were a reminder of the way things were. Now, like Elizabeth Edwards, you have returned to frontline of the Cancer Wars. I don't think you should think the news is worse for having had a good couple of months, instead think of it a respite when you marshalled your forces, became stronger mentally and physically to be able to continue to fight. It was a reminder of what you are fighting for.

My thoughts are with you and yours.

Sent by Chris | 8:55 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I'm so sorry to hear the critter is back. It's heart-breaking.

I have just finished the last of my "scheduled" chemo treatments. I have to wait 2 weeks before I find out from my Onc Doctor what my latest CT scan shows. I'm trying to not worry about it as it will be what it will be and then take it from there.

Maybe this is why we need to "live in today" and enjoy what we have in Life today.

Get well Leroy!

Sent by Bruce in FL | 9:00 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I am so sorry for the news. I am Buddhist, so we will chant for you today. Kwan Seum Bosal.

You already know all about Buddhism, of course, because all the Buddha taught was to live moment by moment. Some moment are good, others are hard. But it's all we have. We will leave your name up on the altar.

Sent by jan | 9:01 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, When I read yesterday's blog my prayers went out to you and my heart was nervous. It was the same feeling that I have every day my dad has his scans. It was half hope and half fear of the good news or bad.

Every morning when I get to work I read your newest entry. And today my heart is sad. Last October I got married, and it was the same month as the 2nd year anniversary of my dad's diagnosis with brain cancer. For the first time, he was happy, he was himself again, and he had returned to his "normal" life. Cancer seemed so far away. The next scans weren't as happy. We had to deal with this same feeling you are going through today, the cancer is back, inoperable, and very aggressive.

Though we are coping every day, and I may not have the words to console you, I want to thank you. You make me feel like we aren't alone. Though so many are touched by cancer, somedays are lonely and hard to bear. But today I share your anger, pain, fear, and hope. Thank you.

Sent by Sarah | 9:06 AM ET | 06-07-2007

my hearts breaks hearing this, you remain an inspiration and shining light for us all

Sent by Barbara | 9:07 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy--I woke up early this morning to check the blog at home (I usually check it at work) hoping for good news. You were on my mind constantly yesterday! I don't really have the words to express how I'm feeling right now. The news that your cancer is "back" shook me to the core. But then again, as you said, "the beast just won't let go." I found myself a mess this morning on the way to work...tearing up and asking God why we have to endure this pain. I was reminded this morning by a good friend that God will never put more on us than we can handle. I suppose it's the equivalent to "we can bear the burdens we are given." Leroy, I hope that you remain positive and just know that we are all on this journey with you. I thank you for your courage to fight this battle so openly...your courage gives me courage!

Please know that you are always in my prayers...and by the way...did you get that cheese steak?

Sent by Tess from KY | 9:08 AM ET | 06-07-2007

What discouraging news. I wish it were different. I for sure would not even have been able to write something people could read if I were in your shoes. Amazing courage ??? that???s what I think about you.

Sent by Irene | 9:17 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

Well, it just sucks. The beast is a mighty opponent, but you have the global community of those who have met the beast and continue to fight, on your side. And as you have so graciously shared with us over the past year, it's o.k. to be sad, it's o.k. to be scared and angry. You can be all of those things and still go more rounds with this opponent. You are strong.

Best thoughts only,
Mo

Sent by Mo Spikes | 9:19 AM ET | 06-07-2007

All of us "cancer patients" can understand the deep sadness and fear you must be feeling - we are there surrounding you with courage!

Sent by Teri G. | 9:21 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy - so sorry to hear the news. My husband was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of the prostate in Dec which has been successfully treated since then...but then last Friday after an emergency surgery (TURP) to clear a urinary blockage we found his beast has mutated into a second form of prostate cancer call small cell of the prostate. Rare and scary, man. After that setback I have come to conclusion that cancer wants to kill my precious, loving, young husband but like any attempted murderer we will continue to fight it like hell and stay positive because that is all we have. There is no other choice. I was turned onto the blog because of Living With Cancer. I have been reading since and here you are a stranger to me and my heart sank this morning very much like it did last Friday. I think of you very often and send you fighting vibes each day.

Sent by Sarah Senter | 9:24 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy:

I'm so sad right now... I hope and hope that things turn around for you.

Many hugs going your way. Hang in there..

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 9:27 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I am so sorry about your news. Consider this another bump in the road. Good luck with treatment.

Sent by marilyn | 9:27 AM ET | 06-07-2007

The cruelty of this beast can never be underestimated. At one point, I too started to dream of the future and then it came crashing down all too soon. I know so well your sentiments. I think having hope is equally harmful. You will find your way once again.

Sent by Christine | 9:29 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Having been there with my husband a couple of times in the last 3 years, I do now how sucky it is to find yourself settling into an idea of mangagement or maintenance rather than remission. It's such a kick in the pants. I'm sorry you are facing this new normal. What gets us through (and some weeks absoutely stink) is that (1)he's still alive and some normal stuff, and (2) if he can stay alive, I do believe a more permanent cure will be found. I feel like the goal is to keep in the game until then. Still, I'm sorry you find yourself in that place, too.

Sent by Teri | 9:47 AM ET | 06-07-2007

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by Marcia | 9:47 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Hi Leroy and All,

Leroy, I was very sorry to read your news just now. Sometimes our reality jumps up and slaps us in the face. It???s too bad. And its always hard when that happens. I also think of the 5-year brain tumor survivor, reported by one of yesterday???s correspondents, who was sent home from Duke with no further hope. As one who is not so far along with a similar condition (GBM stage 4), that was a stark reminder, The courage and thoughtfulness with which you faced the cancer challenges continues to give the rest of us hope and connect us in our journey together. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and all of the others who struggle daily with this and other serious and persistent diseases and attack on our well being.

Vaya con Dios

John Shippee
Atlanta, Georgia

Sent by John Shippee | 9:50 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I haven't the talent with words to express my feelings adequately. You have lots and lots of empathy from this blog group; so many of us have been exactly where you are and can say, with full truth, "I know how you are feeling." Disappointed, devastated, sad, deflated, angry, helpless, and more.

I join with the others who have already told you: "I am so sorry, Leroy."

Jerry B. said it beautifully. "We are diminished by your pain and inspired by your honesty." Thank you for sharing yourself on this blog.

Sent by Sandra Shuler | 9:55 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Hey Leroy,
I'm so sorry. I was really hoping your results would be better than mine yesterday. We're in this together, and I'm hoping we can give it a good fight again. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kandy

Sent by Kendra Falvey | 9:59 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I am so sad...I read once, early on in my breast cancer treatment, that when you need to cry, be sure and soak your pillow. Let it all out, empty yourself, and there will be room for new breaths to fill you up to deal with another day. Bon courage.

Sent by Rebecca Bauder | 10:01 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

After reading Stephanie's post last night and your post today, I am deeply saddened by the scan results. Still, each of you inspires us in the way you've chosen to look beyond the imminent treatments,and to "move ahead anyway." We're here to walk with you on your journeys.

Sent by Sheara | 10:02 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I'm sitting here, needing to tackle all the details for my nieces party tomorrow as she receives her Masters - I volunteered this as her Dad didn't live to see her through any graduation due to lung cancer. Had he gone to better Drs.
I'm sure he would have at least made one
graduation - it would have been worth it.

Anyway, I'm sitting here in tears for you. I'm sooo sorry you have to endure all this - & to all the others as well, as I help my son through his surviving.

Let's hope all the warm thoughts, from all of us can help you through this. What a generous man you are to do this site. I can only wish it rewards you.

Sent by Joan P | 10:02 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I have been reading you blog for 2 mos.
I have hy-grade bladder cancer, and will start BCG treatments 6/12/07. If I
could stop crying long enough to finish my note, I would be very thankful. Iam scared too..its new to me, which scares me more! I pray for you, and hope deeply
you get through this. Thank you for being "here" for me.

Sent by Peter | 10:03 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

Welcome back to your "new normal." More treatments. more tests, more saddness, more anger, more emotional pain.

I know it's noy much help but you are not alone. We're all there with you. I'm living on borrowed time, too. I plan 3 months ahead, tops. Although I've had a nice long remission the length just makes the inevitable end of it even more sad.

You'll get through this. That's why our cancer journey is called a roller coaster ride. Well, you're going down right now but there's another hill coming right up. God bless.

Sue

Sent by Sue | 10:09 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, I'm so sorry... When I read your blog, I began to cry... I really had hoped for you that it would be clean and was so sure that's what your blog would read today. I really am sorry.

Maybe I looked at you as what I could be... one of the ones who got out of it... and maybe I thought... hey... if he can beat it... so can I! I know you are still positive and so am I, and that's what is great about you, and you still have more options, as do I... but I just wished so badly that you would be cancer free.

So now, speaking positively... as I write this, I feel that old saying my mom has told me all my life "if you fall down, get back up, scrape the dirt off your knees and give it all you got! Don't quit! You can do anything!!" I've lived my life that way. And now that horrible feeling in the pit of my gut is going away just as I convince myself everything will be OK for you and for me and anyone who gives it there all... no matter what! (Thanks momma girlfriend... that's what I call her... she's my best friend). Good luck!! Keep Positive and Carpe' Diem! Shirley from Upstate New York

Sent by Shirley | 10:10 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Hi Leroy, Your news saddens me so much, I am so sorry you have to face yet another round of treatment and all that entails. That second between not having the news and having the news seems like forever and then you need to redefine everything as you listen to your life for the next few months. I can count on one hand the number of moments I have felt like I used to, I regret that I didn't appreciate it more. I have a "new normal" now which isn't normal at all, but it is the best I've got so I'll take it. Thank you for sharing and know that we are walking this journey with you, as many times as it takes to make this go away.
Take the greatest care, Estelle

Sent by Estelle | 10:21 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Well I'll be honest, that sucks.
But I hope you didn't let it stand in the way of having that CheeseSteak. You still have to keep your immediate goals.

Sent by Brit | 10:25 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh Leroy, I feel so sad for you. Once again, I crying at work which is not unusual working in a kids hospital but this time it for you. I'll be here everyday support you for the next few months. You did teach me to take a vaction when I'm finished with my treatment. I've been debating whether or not we could afford it. You made me realize I need to afford it. Thank you.

Sent by Lisa | 10:29 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
That really sucks! I will remind you once again that we are with you and beside you. I think you know that but I'll say it again.

Take good care,

Betsey

Sent by betsey kuzia | 10:30 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy, I am writing this with tears in my eyes. I am so very sorry. I guess we were all waiting for the GOOD news. However, you are a fighter.......I have faith in you.......HANG IN THERE! With much love and prayers as always.

Sent by sasha | 10:32 AM ET | 06-07-2007

LeRoy
I can send you a hat if your new treatment plan makes having one useful, just say so. Ask about bisphosphonates to help your bones. Tht might help.

Sent by Irene | 10:41 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy:
I first heard you on NPR last August(by accident..I was driving home with NPR on the radio as I got my cancer diagnosis. And somehow you gave me a strength I needed. And I check in regularly...and I knew that yesterday was important not only to you to to me and obviously to all the people who wrote this morning. You wrote once that you hoped to go back to Afghanistan..to your normal way of work and we hope that for you too. But as we can see from today's messages, you are doing a very important work..you are teaching us courage, you are giving us your friendship and understanding. With many others I want to thank you for all you give to us.

Sent by Tara Kuppinger | 10:50 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
Sorry to hear the news. I personally know sorry does not help. This is only my second time commenting on your great daily blogs. Like many others, I was feeding on your chance to be cancer free for awhile. I have been fighting the Beast since July 2005 and go in next Wednesday for another Major surgery removing more cancer in the rectal area, as if the Chemo and Radiation has not done enough damage. Your blog today was again a reminder that Cancer is always lurking. I have taken comfort in some of your daily writings and appreciate your efforts in speaking for many of us. Best wishes and live for today!

Sent by Don Cornwell | 10:54 AM ET | 06-07-2007

my heart sinks for you...I know this stage 4 heartbreak...I think today you can feel sorry for yourself...save brave for tomorrow.

Sent by Cheryl | 10:54 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy, to quote a former president, I feel your pain. You have my empathy. It appears that our journeys parallel once again. I just had my scan sooner than you did. I am so sad for both of us. And for so many more of us out there who wrestle with this beast. And for our families who can only stand by and watch and who, ultimitaly, are left alone. I just feel so sad.

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 10:59 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I'm so sorry to hear the news. Damn! Please know that all your fans in Wisconsin are sending healing thoughts and prayers!

Sent by Stacy Fox | 11:09 AM ET | 06-07-2007

CRAP! I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say. My 25 year old son is going through something similar. He was diagnosed on 2/12/07 with metstatic poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma with an unknow primary. To date he is being treated at the Cancer Treatment Center in Zion, IL. It has been a good experience. His cancer is in his lymph nodes and spine and pelvis. To date no major organs are involved. He is a real trooper and is taking everything they are giving him. He is in Las Vegas right now with a friend of his as everyone needs something to look forward to right? You are right. This is definately a life changing experience and I doubt we as a family will ever be the same. The sad thing is how we have discovered how so many people are going through the same thing as us. I never realized. Take care and keeping moving forward. One day at a time.

Sent by Judy Voller | 11:12 AM ET | 06-07-2007

With you, as always. The spirit in us honors the spirit in you.
Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 11:13 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Hi Leroy,
I am so sorry for the news you recieved. I read your blog daily my sister that I live with has stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her lungs, bones and liver. I find much comfort in the words that you write about the horrible cancer experience. Again I am so sorry for the news of your results.

Karen

Sent by karen | 11:16 AM ET | 06-07-2007

I have waiting this morning to find out how things went. I wish the story was different. But you are strong and you know the drill and you will grab as much of each day as you can. I go tomorrow for my scan and blood work, etc. I am on pins and needles and you have given me such comfort this week with your entries. I wish that I had the words to give you comfort but I am a designer not a wordsmith like you.
Peace, Julie

Sent by Julie Pietras | 11:16 AM ET | 06-07-2007

We all need to remember to not celebrate too much for good scans less we get drawn too low on bad ones.

Thanks for this blog. The community is with you and everyone else who has received "bad news" . The blog has been very helpful for us.

Sent by Steve | 11:29 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, I was torn yesterday between amazement that the blog has been around for a year, since I was mid-treatment, and wishing I could hear your news before this morning. I'm so sorry it wasn't what you were hoping, and we were hoping on your behalf. Thinking good thoughts for you today, as you make your way through the latest...

Sent by Leigh Hough | 11:40 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
You are daily in my thoughts and always in my prayers! I am so sad that the "beast is back" and that you will now have to plan for more treatment.
You have given all of us such a beautiful gift in the daily sharing of your thoughts and your feelings. It has helped me more than you'll ever know!All I can offer is my friendship,a wish for peace and love for you and Laurie and warm hugs for the good and bad days.

Sent by Judith Tynan | 11:42 AM ET | 06-07-2007

My heart is aching over your disappointing and scary news, Leroy. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I've thought that being called "courageous" and "inspirational" and hearing how important your blog is in all our lives might put unfair pressure on you to keep up a positive front. But then I remember what you said on the Living with Cancer program about how many tears you've cried. You're such an honest person. Anyway -- I guess all I'm saying is that this may be a time to lean on friends awhile -- and you have so many friends here, all rooting for you. Today I'm sending up prayers for you and for Stephanie and for all the others facing new encounters with this beast called cancer.

Sent by Doris | 11:45 AM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy:

I am wiping my tears as I type, but soon I will take a deep breath and start moving forward again for you ... and for me. Clearly this isn't the news that you (or any of us) wanted to hear. But as you've reminded us, it isn't that shuddering fear that we all felt the first time we heard those words ... "it's cancer ..." Rather it is that sad and weary "Put on your boots, shoulder your pack, and head out the door" resolve that you're trying to muster to get yourself back on the trail of treatment. Leroy, you mean so much to your loved ones and friends and to this community. You've given all of us a ray of light, of hope, of humor, a place to vent, a place to celebrate, a shoulder to cry on. Now as you get back on the path, remember to lean on us. We're here to help you navigate over the rocks and through the puddles of this rather remarkable trail we somehow wandered on to in this journey of living with cancer. Don't forget even when you stumble to enjoy the view that life surprises us with every day.

Sent by Peggy | 12:01 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, You are in my thoughts and prayers. It's just not fair this cancer. I hope your respite from the beast, however short, will sustain you for the journey to come. Kick some ass for all of us!

Sent by jessie | 12:03 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, You sounds like you have the bad news under control. You've already mapped out the strategy for wiping out the cancer again through this round. We're all here for you.

Sent by Ruth White | 12:03 PM ET | 06-07-2007

So sorry Leroy! Not what we all wanted to hear but your strength inspires all of us. Just keep up the fight! Best wishes to you.

Sent by Jenene Koegel | 12:04 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Hang in there, Leroy. I don't know what else I can say that others haven't already said.

May God be with you.

Sent by Ruth from Virginia | 12:14 PM ET | 06-07-2007

May God continue to bless us all with the strength and courage to continue on this journey.
I went to a Relay For Life meeting last night and I mentioned this Blog and what a blessing it has come to mean to me.
I had a treatment yesterday the decatron they give me makes me a pretty happy camper.I couldn't drive you know.Shh!!It's the DRUGS!! So my grown daughter had to take me.
I guess as I sit and plan to post,I really mean it when I say this has been a blessing to me.I am numb today.The felling of not wanting to relinquish the grand blessing of energy to chemo isn't selfish...I think it is a way to do as Stephanie said yesterday. Draw away,sit and listen to the song birds,write a note of encouragement.I love the word "Ponder".

Leroy,you still have work to do. I love the way Mother Teresa said it."I know God won't give me more then I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much". So I will end by saying thank to to each and every one of you.

A "BIG" Thank you to you Leroy for bringing us into your life and joining us all together in this thing the world calls "cancer" or as you so greatly put it today the "BEAST". Hugs to all!
Sandy in ohio

Sent by Sandy Gentry | 12:15 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

It wasn't what we wanted to hear, but it is what it is. You are so graceful and gracious in your acceptance of this new development. I think you are one hell of a classy guy.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:19 PM ET | 06-07-2007

I, too, am sorry to hear the cancer has chosen to make appearances again in your body . . . that sucks! I was holding my breath for you hoping that you would continue to have a break. I know what the waiting is like. (I have an idiopathic low platelet condition called ITP and I see my hematologist, obviously, at a cancer treatment center. I see people sitting back in the padded leather chairs getting their treatments.) Now the waiting is over, you know you've got to do what you've got to do; right? That's the way you move forward and you take care of business like you have been doing. I read one person's comments who said "we are all in this together" and I truly agree. Even though most of us do not personally know each other and come from many different lifestyles and economic backgrounds, I send you as much good and positive energy as my spirit can generate - -I sent it your way, Leroy. You are not alone. We feel you. Be strong. There will be good news again. There will.

Sent by Pamela | 12:41 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I am so sorry to hear your news,I check your blog, first thing every morning,I was hoping for some better news, as we are awaiting scans also, and your news set us up for a new fight. Fred is fighting the same "beast" you are, lungs, bone and spine......this "thing" will not break us, we are fighters, as you are! Please know our prayers and best wishes are with you.

Sent by Joyce from Marysville | 12:42 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
How disappointing to get this news and how exhausting to contemplate the next phase.
I am so sorry.
It sounds like you and your doctors already have a game plan and that dealing with these new tumors is a doable thing. Back to the fight.

Sent by Maggie | 12:44 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, First let me say that I am not religious. That said, my prayers are with you especially with your scan results. I thank God for the good in our lives that we still have as cancer patients. As I told one of the oncology nurses, "I hope to be coming in to the cancer center for another twenty or thirty years." It may seem odd for a non-religous person to pray and thank God but I don't know a better way to phrase what I feel. Your news left me very depressed. I will bounce back tommorow. I went for five years after my intial surgery and radiation before the cancer showed itself again. I know the feeling after almost feeling cured. It's been 15 months since my second major surgery. Every day is still good and your blog is wonderful and helps all of us.

Sent by Bill Lane | 12:51 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, To say cancer is a life changing event is too trite. It is beyond the pale, certainly beyond the things we face, normally in our lives. I guess we are all abnormal now; we live with the beast looking over our shoulders everyday. It takes courage, and you have it. I am sorry the news wasn't what we all wanted to hear. You have a plan, work the plan, and it will work again. Keep your chin up! Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:53 PM ET | 06-07-2007

I am so sorry to hear this. We'll all be here, as always.

Sent by Bruce | 12:54 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy and Stephanie -- I don't know what to say except that I'm so sorry....My heart sank when I read Stephanie's comments the other day and the title of today's blog. We're all here for you.

Sent by grace | 1:13 PM ET | 06-07-2007

LeRoy
Sorry to hear about your results. However I know how you feel when you think you are clean but the enemy rears its ugly head again. That happened to me on my first surgery. My surgeon said that all margins were clear and the path was good. Three months later it showed again. It can be a really big leat down but even though I am uncertain about my fate as we speak we have to hang in there and be strong and vigilant.
Take care

Sent by Clark | 1:16 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

This was not good news and am so sorry! I guess it is time to slam the bad cells again with all possible sources. Stay positive knowing all of us are out here supporting you!

Sent by LJ | 1:23 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, I'm really sorry.

Sent by Elizabeth from Brooklyn | 1:37 PM ET | 06-07-2007

It makes the heart heavy. When is enough, enough? It scares me that I am also a ticking time bomb. Not to sound negative, but are we ever safe? Does two-years clean mean I'm safe? Does five years? How about ten? When can I/we just go back to being "normal"? I try not to look over my shoulder and see if The Big C is sneaking up on me, but when stuff like this happens, it makes me wonder if I'm just living in denial. And what if I am? What of it? Does that make it bad or wrong? Is truth totally necessary 24 hours a day 7 days a week? I sure hope not.

Today is my two-year anniversary of getting diagnosed with esthesioneuroblastoma. June 7, 2005 my life changed. Some of the changes were for the better and some were not. I just wish I didn't feel like I was always skating my way across a pond of ice of unknown thickness. I guess there are no guarantees for anyone in life.

Leroy, you know we are all with you as much as we can be. We hope our words help and comfort you as much as yours help us. Anyone can see that you are a brave and intelligent man. But, in the end, we are all human. We have fears that may or may not be rational. You don't need to try to be Superman every day on your blog. We are all Supermen. All of us who have fought and continue to fight or help others who are fighting...we are all Supermen. Let us help you, too, Leroy. That's what makes this a "community" and a "family".

Vaya con dios.

Sent by Dave U. | 1:40 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh Leroy, what a bummer! I started reading your blog when a dear friend died of lung cancer. Now I feel guilty because the worse diagnosis I've had to deal with is gum disease. Keep it up, you inspire us all.

Sent by Dianne in DC | 1:48 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Mr. Sievers,

I looked at your blog first thing this morning, as did most of us, and I just want to say we're with you through this latest event in your life journey. How brave and gracious you are to share with us all of your personal thoughts and experiences - what a difference you are making in the lives of so many.

As you wake up each morning during the next couple of months, remember the sun is still shining, flowers are blooming, philly cheesesteaks still taste terrific. This is just something to deal with as you continue to live your life, one step at a time. And we are all very thankful we've come to know you, and can support you as well.

Be well, my friend.

Amy

Sent by Amy | 1:52 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy/Everyone, this is my second post. I feel the need to express exactly what I am feeling at this moment. " IM PISSED OFF" I cannot conceive that in this world of medical technology..........billions of dollars used to build these scanning machines......billions of dollars....sending men to the moon......seeing if there is life on mars...........why in God's name cant they have any success with "KILLING THIS BEAST" Are they working hard enough with their research? I am starting to not accept this. I am sorry if I sound ignorant, but this is just how I feel at the moment.......maybe I just need to vent.

Sent by sasha | 2:11 PM ET | 06-07-2007

I am very sorry to hear this news. You were on my mind first thing this morning as I myself took a trip to Hopkins for bloodwork for chemo tomorrow.

I'm sending positive thoughts your way and stay strong. We're all here for you!

Sent by Sandy Lathe | 2:21 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Hey Leroy,
I to had hoped for better news and I'm sorry to hear this. But it sounds like you have a plan got go after the beast again.
Stay positive and keep writing through this.
Sending thoughts and prayers your way for the fight.

Sent by Kerry | 2:27 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh Leroy,

My heart just breaks hearing this news. It makes me appreciate the respites we get between treatments. I hope and pray that your Doctors are able to treat these new tumors without too much discomfort for you, and give you another respite. I also hope that your next respite is long.

Thank you for your courage. It inpires me.

Sent by Rob Meyer, Danville CA | 2:29 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I understand bad scans; got one myself last Thursday. I have faithfully read your daily blogs since March 20, 2007, after a friend sent me the site. Both of us were diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer in August, 2006, in the same city in Texas, by the same doctor. We had never me before that. Together, we spent the past nine months battling the demon cancer. Ovarian cancer is truly silent, and "has you" long before you know it and it can be diagnosed. Sadly, my beloved new friend and soul-sister, Denee, died on May 20, 2007, after being taken off chemo for two months following an allergic reaction to one of the drugs. That made me realize how very, very fragile my own life is. I am on my third set of drugs. After six sessions with the first drugs, the aggressive cancer overcame the effectiveness of the drugs. Made it through fourteen sessions on the second set of drugs before the cancer overcame those drugs. I started Doxil on May 31st. I am inoperable and must be on chemo to live. Don't know how many more drugs there are out there available to me if Doxil fails. You are one hundred percent correct--"cancer is a beast and it won't let go." It's a shame I had to hear the word "cancer" before I truly realized it is important to "stop and smell the roses," to cherish each every day of life with family and friends, and not to "sweat the small stuff." You have continued in my prayers. From the words of a card my best friend recently sent me "You may be under a doctor's care, but you are in the Master's hands--as am I.

Sent by Martha Sutherland | 2:34 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy, don't give up on dreaming and don't give up on giving cancer another one-two punch. You know how to do it. I'm trying to prep my mind too if and when I relapse. My thoughts and prayers to everyone here who have challenges to face every day.

Sent by Dorothy | 3:18 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Mr. Sievers: I too have just received information that my cancer just won't leave. I wish my Oncologist would speak with me about it but I believe he sees me as his "failure" and he just avoid me....it should have been eradicated. PET scan proved differently and there just doesn't appear to be much to do about it. I don't know exactly how you feel though I do beleive I can somehow relate. I did (finally) have a really angry moment and was not certain if I even wanted to persue anything else(I've never had an angry moment about this before...it was quite a tantrum) But when you get to the end of your rope, you should tie a knot and hang on...I've got the strength to keep on trudging and have started the process to go to MD Anderson for other opinions. The will to survive is strong, very very strong....It does help so much to find so many hopeful people pretty much all in the same boat because there is strength in numbers. Hang in there Mr. Sievers!

Sent by Shannon Morgan | 3:32 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Hey Leroy,
I think of you everyday, sorry to hear your latest news in disappointing. It seems you're already bouncing back--way to go! I hope the cheesesteak helped you rebound. I appreciate that your attitude--at least what you share with us--is upbeat. Keeping all my fingers crossed for you,

Sent by Katie | 3:51 PM ET | 06-07-2007

OK...it's back. Allow yourself sometime to wallow or be angry, but don't let it take over. Don't give it the satisfaction. No sir. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on. You can do this. You've done it before, but this time you have the upper hand because now you know what to expect. PLUS, you have this wonderful community of people that you've created because of this blog. Be strong my friend. Hold tight. Whatever the outcome, you will not be alone. God Bless.

Sent by Karen | 4:24 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, you have such a gift for expressing what it feels like, hearing that you are out of remission, and back in the waiting rooms. Waiting for tests, decisions, calls from the physicians. It is a historical marker in your life, where were you when they told you, you had cancer, where were you when you were told it was back.
I will never forget standing in the airport, waiting for my sister to arrive, taking the call from my Dr, I expected to hear everything was OK, my marker was normal, but no, I heard it was back. Just like a remake of a bad B movie. In a perfect world no one should have to go through this. I wish medicine and cancer treatment was much further advanced.
Thank you for this blog so that we can all journey together, and I am truly sorry you also got the wrong bend in the road.
Rita

Sent by Rita | 4:25 PM ET | 06-07-2007

My dear Leroy, I say this because we all have your words, emotions, honesty and above all, your spirit, which you freely give me and each one of us that shares this walk. Princess DiAnna said " There are two things that stand the test of time, compassion to those in their pain and suffering and courage in their own." I do believe that cancer moves a person to a deeper level of compasion towards others and to that end, is my blessing. God's grace peace and mercy be with us all in this walk.

Sent by Diana | 4:27 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dammit, Leroy. Just got home from work and read the news without the tissue box. -- YEAH, so what!!! It's going to be OK - same as always, Leroy.

How I hate it. How I hate it.

Sent by Joanne Wilkerson-Burke | 4:31 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Crapalina! Imagine the ringing sound of bells at a boxing match...Round 5...

You can battle this. The good news is that tumors on the bone are the easy to kick back!

P & PT...

Sent by Janis | 4:39 PM ET | 06-07-2007

"Damn", I said to myself as I read your news. What a slap it is! And how I admire you as you acknowedge the awful sting, I look to you as I trudge this road. With great respect,

Sent by Vikki Kramer | 5:03 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy -- you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Julie | 5:12 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,

I am so sorry about this turn of events. You have done so much for us all, now we've got your back. There are prayers and well-wishes all over for you.

Sent by Elizabeth Hendrix | 5:31 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Well sh*t. This completely sucks ass. Pardon the choice of words but one thing that I found comforting during the heart of my treatment was when people spoke honestly and from their heart instead of giving me the standard lines. And that's honestly what I thought when I read your news.

Right after my surgery a good friend of mine gave me a shirt that said, "f**k cancer". Crude, yes, but also hilarious. Obviously it's far too inappropriate to wear in public, but even now that I'm NED I like to wear it around the house sometimes and it makes me feel bold and brave.

Take time to digest this twist in the road and allow yourself feel sad or angry. Then regroup and do whatever you need to do to feel bold and brave. If that means wearing a snarky shirt around the house, then wear it. If that means downing two cheese steaks instead of one, enjoy every bite. Just remember it ain???t over ???till it???s over, and no one in this blog community is ???dying???. We are all still living right up until our final breath.

So live! Live as best you can in the face of this challenge. And just remember we are all here rooting for you every step of the way.

Susan, from Seattle
http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/lemonmargaritas/

Sent by Susan Metters | 5:34 PM ET | 06-07-2007

I am so very sorry about yesterday's news. I will most definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward in this battle...

Sent by Rebecca Weber | 6:36 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh Leroy! My heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean when you say you were starting to spend more time thinking of the future, letting yourself dream. I'm in remission and, like you, it could all go away the next scan. Even though I know this, it will be a blow and a loss because, like you, I have let myself dream.

It's a blessing to have this brief time where we can think of the future. I know many people don't get that.

I hope you get a next one, and a next, and a next.

Sent by Karen D. | 6:49 PM ET | 06-07-2007

I really can relate to your post. I am playing the 'waiting game' right now with a possible 4th time with cancer (at age 24). They saw something on the scan (after 3 years of reprieve) and we don't know what it is yet. It does hit Hard-really hard. I had finally thought about the future and finished a long-delayed first full-time year of college and now this. They didn't think I'd survive the first, second and third time. Now this. It just hurts a lot. I know you understand.

Sent by Rachel Baumgartner | 6:50 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,
You are so right--you aren't alone; we are with you and you are with us. I'm a newby to having cancer, so can only imagine how discouraged you must feel. Please accept my best wishes for you. You show so much courage.
Cindy

Sent by Cindy Weehler | 7:18 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,
I was so sorry to read about your latest news. I have so appreciated your daily updates. You have put words on what we feel, which is quite a gift in this journey. I am thinking of you, and I wish you well.

Sent by Andrea Maga | 7:35 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy:

Indeed it is a roller coaster ride. You are in the lead car, and we're behind you, screaming and gasping through the dips, curves and rises.

Thank you for your continued honesty with us and yourself. I know you feel a dream of normalcy has been taken away--I recently went through that after my own "hail mary" surgery proved to be less than miraculous. But now a new treatment is working for me. You just never know (and that cuts both ways).

Sent by Laura Buckley | 7:51 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy: its me again. I was the 1st post of today. As I sat in the chemo room today for 6 hours (plus give or take another hour for CBC, discharge, etc) .. I thought of you so much. It was really like a good friend has received the bad news. My husband came home and I said: Leroy's cancer is back. He was puzzled but he knew who you were. But the reason that I write, again, is that you are the most amayzing person ( that I actually haven't met) and that you have touched so many of us, educated, inspired and above all connected us. yes, we all walked around with cancer but coming to the this blog has been a save heaven. Forget MySpace! This is what I call a virtual community. And YOU did it! From your own words , and an occasional TV appearance. so, basically what I am telling you is that there is no choice but to Fight the beast, wrestle it to the ground, slash its throat. And if you need any help ... you got a pretty strong army here that I am sure will not mind joining that battle! stay strong... get mad... curse a lot.. throw some things around... ask why? why? why? .. but then ... get back to the fight.

I NEED YOU. WE NEED YOU !!!! ( sorry man, no pressure!!!!!)

much love
Francesca

Sent by Francesca Giessmann | 8:01 PM ET | 06-07-2007

I am so sorry to hear this news Leroy. I was truly hoping for more of a reprieve for you. I will keep you in my heart.

Sent by Beth Hime | 8:41 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Your news brings a collective sense of sadness to all of us reading your blog. May you simply know that our thoughts, prayers and hopes go out to you.
God bless, Joan

Sent by Joan | 8:54 PM ET | 06-07-2007

OH Larry, I am one of the people pulling for you. And now reading the news about the scans. I've had breast cancer and every scan and X-ray now is accompanied with the familiar terror (you know it well). Your skill and elegance in writing about exactly what is happening is ONE thing that will help you through it again. It's the "again" that hurts so. If our support is of any help at all, know that we are forming a leafy cover o'er you that's really as strong a sequoia behind you. AND as long-lived - that's hundreds of years! I myself send my friends in trouble what I call "blue light" as a force in healing of ANY kind. So I have an especially intense blue light on you at all times. I admire you so and I wish you the best result from the radiation - the best EVER!
In understanding and with love, Kathy

Sent by Kathleen Hale | 9:49 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy, I am so sorry to read the latest news. You will be lifted up in my prayers and thoughts for a more positive outcome this time around. Don't give up! We are all cheering you on.

Sent by Sondra Scott | 9:58 PM ET | 06-07-2007

When I read yur words this morning, my hand flew to my mouth and I started to cry- just such bad news. You have the courage, interest, and realistic attitude to move forward, and I know you will do it in style.

Please know that it is ok to write a miserable blog if you feel like it. We all know and love you - we're listening.

Sent by Linda T. Hilsen | 10:06 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Damn and double damn. The child in me is yelling, "Not fair! Not fair!"

I'm so sorry, Leroy. Sending giant cyber hugs to you, Big Guy Who Speaks With Tongue That Is True.

Sent by Nancie | 10:09 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, have you thought about cyber knife treatment? Here is some information on it:
CyberKnife zaps cancer

First such machine in Michigan provides pain-free treatment.

Sofia Kosmetatos / The Detroit News

Ricardo Thomas / The Detroit News

Dr. Geoffrey M. Thomas, a neurological surgeon, explains how the CyberKnife works. See full image

How CyberKnife works

Scanning: Before a patient undergoes treatment, images are taken to determine the size, shape and location of the tumor.

Planning: Doctors use the CyberKnife software to generate a treatment plan that avoids damaging surrounding healthy tissue.

Treatment: Generally lasts between 30 to 90 minutes, during which 100 to 200 beams of radiation are delivered from different directions, lasting between 10 to 15 seconds each. The system takes X-ray images in between the beams and compares them with an original CT scan, to correct for any movement of the patient during the treatment.

Follow-up: Patients get CT or MRI scans in the weeks and months following treatment to track the cancer.
Other facts

The system uses computer-controlled robotics and image guidance technology to treat tumors that are difficult to reach with more conventional radiosurgery systems that rely on a head frame. The system delivers treatment with sub-millimeter accuracy.

More than 30,000 patients worldwide have been treated by the system.

More than 50 percent of the treatments in the United States are extracranial and include treatment for tumors of the spine, lung, prostate, liver and pancreas.

ANN ARBOR -- Saint Joseph Mercy Health System will start treating cancer patients next week with an advanced radiosurgery system that can attack cancer anywhere in the body -- pain-free.

The CyberKnife Robotic Radiosurgery System uses a robotic arm, which can adjust the aim of its radiation source on the cancer even as the patient breathes.

In contrast, older technology for brain tumors, for example, requires patients to have a frame screwed into their skull to prevent movement during treatment.

CyberKnife can treat all sorts of cancers, including those of the brain, pancreas and lung.

Only 63 of these $4 million units are available nationwide, and the health system said its machine will be the first in Michigan.

The health system, which will offer CyberKnife at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor, has blanketed southeast Michigan with billboards and other advertisements touting the new treatment.

"It shows Saint Joseph's commitment to providing top-notch cancer care," said Lauren Stokes, spokeswoman for the health system.

Elizabeth Newhouse, 58, will be among the first to receive treatment next week. The Ypsilanti resident has been battling brain cancer for six months.

"You owe it to yourself to find the best possible option," said Newhouse of her decision to undergo CyberKnife treatment.

Because she already has received full head radiation, the only other option to try to shrink the tumors would have been radiation treatment with a Gamma Knife, Newhouse said.

Like the CyberKnife, that treatment targets just the tumors and not the surrounding brain tissue. But the Gamma Knife would have required the head frame. Instead, radiation therapists have molded a mesh-like mask to Newhouse's head that she will wear to limit her movement during treatment.

At a cost starting at $70,000, CyberKnife therapy is pricey.

But the cost can be offset in many cases by fewer costly stays in the hospital and fewer open surgeries, said Dr. Geoffrey Thomas, a neurosurgeon at the Michigan Brain & Spine Institute and the medical director of neuro-oncology at St. Joseph Mercy. Instead of multiple doses of traditional radiation, in many cases patients receiving CyberKnife may need only one session.

In addition, Saint Joseph Mercy Health System is working with private insurers in Michigan to approve reimbursement. Medicare already covers CyberKnife treatment, as do private insurers in other states.

St. Joseph Mercy Hospital treats 1,200 new cancer patients a year.

The CyberKnife System was developed in 1987 at Stanford University Medical Center and received U.S. Food and Drug Administration approval for treatment of head, neck and upper spine tumors in 1999.

Two years later, its manufacturer, Accuray Inc., got clearance from the FDA to enhance the system to treat cancers anywhere in the body. The system became commercially available in 2002.

In 2004, the FDA approved a respiratory tracking system that allows CyberKnife to treat tumors in areas affected by respiration, such as the pancreas or lung, while letting patients breathe normally throughout treatment.

You can reach Sofia Kosmetatos at (313) 222-2401 or skosmetatos@detnews.com.
_________________
sue, stage 3 in oct. 2003--stage 1V in dec. 2006-mets to liver and lymph nodes.

Sent by Sue | 10:34 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy, I am so sorry to hear your news. Keep the faith, and know that I am one of many who are thinking of you and sending prayers and loving thoughts your way. Thanks for being there, for me, for all of us.

If you get a chance read ???Columbus??? by Joaquin Miller it helped me when I was diagnosed with my first reoccurence and I took it with me to every treatment.

Wishing you peace.

Sent by Beth | 10:35 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy

Rain Clouds are back
The bird sings with a heavy heart
Outside my window.

Emile

Sent by Emile Bellott | 11:05 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I am deeply sorry to learn of the recurrence of your cancer. I was so hoping for you that you would be in the clear. I have been nervous all day until I was able to read your blog; now I am feeling so sad that you have to go through this all over again.

I am having another round of scans in 2 weeks; my CA-125 has been rising since December and because I am having symptoms similar to what I had just before I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in Jan. 06 my Gyn. Onc. is now expressing some concern. So I am, right now, probably in a very similar state of mind to what you were in last week, waiting to go in, waiting for results...that part is hard, because of the dychotomy of emotions and because one is so tempted to hope, during remission, that it is all behind one.

But I think, too, that _knowing_ your tumors have come back must, in some bizarro cancer world way, be a bit of a relief: Now you _know_ what is going on in your body, the uncertainty and the waiting are over for the moment, and you know how you and your team will proceed. For me, the waiting is so stressful, and I look forward to _knowing_, after my scans, so that I can get on with it, whatever "it" might be. Right now, I feel like I am living in limbo.

I will be thinking of you and praying for you and yours, Leroy, as I think of and pray for all my brothers and sisters out there in cancer world. It seems strange, but it is also good to know that I _do_ have a community of people, though I have never met them, who totally understand all this cancer talk that people in the "real" world just don't seem to get! We may have cancer, but at least we are, none of us, _alone_ with it. We are a family, when it comes right down to it.

I hope you can draw strength and comfort from all of us as you face the next round of treatments. We will be with you on this journey. God bless you!

Sent by Katherine from San Juan Island | 11:13 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Oh......sadness

Sent by Susan, Spokane, WA | 11:14 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
Thank you for sharing your news with us. Now that you have such a large following, I know you must have stopped and said to yourself, "Now I have to tell all those people." And I wonder if you worry about saddening all of us who admire and care so much about you. Do you?

Enjoy that philly cheese steak before returning to the Big Fight.

I am so sorry.

Thinking of you,
Robin Smith

Sent by Robin | 11:44 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy,
I'm so sorry to hear about today. I initially read your post this morning, and I apologize for getting caught up in the day and didn't get a chance to say anything earlier.
I have found that the past few months reading your blog, that I have come to depend on your strength. After a friend of my brother's passed away from cancer (she was 23) and after I underwent a third surgery to reconstruct my right eye (not cancer, thankfully, but still intimidating to me), I always remembered how you have fought through everything thrown your way and I vowed that I would fight, too. Although medicine and prayers couldn't save my brother's friend, she-- like you-- always kept going. I'm lucky that when I saw my doctor for my version of "scans" (more like "follow the light and let's see if your eye moves") I finally got a positive report. Thinking back on that, compared to what you're going through now, seems petty. But I've wanted to tell you that for awhile...how reading every day of your strength to face the day has helped me face the day, too.
And I know, too well, that when something like this happens, "sorry" sometimes doesn't make a difference. But please know that you have this entire community fighting for you, being strong for you now...just like how you have been strong for many of us.
You can beat this. We all know it. And damn well that cancer knows it, too, because it ain't gonna last much longer.

Sent by Emily | 11:54 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Leroy - so sorry to hear the news. We are all in your corner for this round, sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

Sent by Marie | 11:55 PM ET | 06-07-2007

Rotten. But recall that you've ousted the beasties before. Time to do it again.

Remember that you have lots of people sending hugs. That's good medicine. If I were the beasties, I'd be worried. Also, I have it on very good authority cheese steak and brownies have remarkable cancer fighting properties. Couldn't hurt!

Sent by lp | 12:05 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy, We all weep for you because you have expressed our worst fears for ourselves & our loved ones. When we couldn't articulate our thoughts, you became the voice for us. This raw & humble honesty you that you have shared with all of us has given us the strength to encourage & embrace you now. You have become our family, and that is why you are receiving all this love & support. As we have all hung on to your every word, please hang on to our words now. It's the least we can do for our friend Leroy. My very best to you, Pam

Sent by Pam Lever | 1:51 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Leroy,

I know how you feel. Unfortunately been there done that with two recurrences of ovarian cancer. I am currently in the months of no treatment phase having finished my last round of chemo in Feb.
Stay strong and still do your planning. You haven't checked out yet. Friends were amazed that I kept up with my volunteer activities during my chemo. I would tell them that I still have a life to lead. To give up those things would be giving up my life. I am not ready to do that.

Sent by Betty in Germany | 3:37 AM ET | 06-08-2007

You are in my thought and prayers. I hope you had the cheesesteak and perhaps ice cream after that.

Sent by Anne lumberger | 5:57 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy: As my husband's doctor said yesterday, "this is a chronic disease. Let's not use the word cure or remission. We just manage it one step at a time." You are doing a great job. Fight each battle as it comes. you are a strong inspiration to us all. Thank you.

Sent by shari s | 6:18 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Your blog has meant so much to so many people. It has captured and affirmed the difficult roller coaster cancer puts us on. Your words have helped us through our battles, our grief, our hope and our despair. I hope it has helped others to understand how all consuming the cancer experience becomes for the person with cancer as well as their families. All of us who read your blog and listen to you on NPR must be devastated by your news. Hope and prayers to you. And a million thanks for the comfort you have brought to so many.

Sent by Linda | 7:25 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
It's all been said - but prayers and messages of "Courage, brother!" come to you from another continent. Let's let that cancer knows it's being double-teamed, at the very least!
Peg from Estonia

Sent by Peg Oetjen | 7:34 AM ET | 06-08-2007

I am very sorry for the bad news. Be strong and keep that sense of humor. Your blog has seriously changed my way of thinking about cancer. You are a brave and strong man with a great sense of humor. I'm not a religious man but God bless and you have all of my support and well wishes. I don't look up to too many people in this world, but you are one of them Mr. Sievers. Thank you.

Sent by Kevin Day | 7:37 AM ET | 06-08-2007

When you write, the words are those all of us survivors understand in ways beyond the comprehension of those who have never westled with the cancer demon. The hope and the fear penetrate the deepest levels of human emotion.

You CAN do what needs to be done and there is an army of us out here who will walk the path with you.

Sent by Peggy | 7:40 AM ET | 06-08-2007

As a few others have already written...Crap!

And as I've said more than once when sharing news with friends & family during my own years dealing with cancer, For bad news it's pretty good.

Sent by Ann | 7:47 AM ET | 06-08-2007

I am so sorry and yet so scared for all of you fighting "the beast"..... the key word is "fighting"...don't give up!
I can't thank all of you enough for helping me to understand all of this and giving me a glimpse of what my fiance is going through! It breaks my heart to read the pain all of you face each day but gives me such hope and strength hearing the bravery, courage, endurance and hope in your fight against cancer....! Stay strong in that fight.....

Sent by Laurie | 8:05 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Leroy, reading your blog was a great comfort to my husband and me during his fierce struggle with kidney cancer. You always found the words to say what we thought and experienced.

After my husband died a little over a month ago, I wasn't sure I wanted to keep reading your story. I wasn't sure I had the heart to invest more desperate hope in a battle that could so easily and suddenly turn deadly. I was afraid to care.

But the truth is, I do care. And so I hope.

And even though you received the news none of us wanted to hear, I will keep reading as long as you remain willing to write.

Here's hoping for better days.

Sent by Jane | 8:35 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Leroy, I am saddened to hear the bad news that the beast has awakened witin you so soon. You are an inspiration to all of us as you share your feelings each day. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I wonder how you try to maintain a normal life. I had plans to return to work part time next week, but then my chemo was delayed because my blood counts were low. I felt betrayed by my body; I used to feel young and healthy, now I feel middle-aged and sick.
Again, I am reminded that we are not really in charge of our lives, that our planning ahead should be tempered with our prayers.

Keep up the struggle and know that those of us walking with you empathize with you and thank you for giving words to many of our inner feelings.

Sent by Lou Loggi | 9:23 AM ET | 06-08-2007

If the love and caring of others could heal your body you would be a dynamically healthy man.

Sent by Sandra Li | 9:41 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
I was enjoying your posts over the past couple months and how you seemed to be feeling back to "normal". I was thinking about you a lot on Wednesday wanting to know what you had found out and then yesterday I was crushed by the news. I have never even met you, but your news made me feel kind of sick to my stomach -- as I would feel for a dear friend or family member. I am so very sorry, but also think that you will get over this hurdle just like the others. It may not feel that way now, but I have hope. I will close my eyes and pray you would be filled with this hope, with a peace that passes all understanding, and with the courage and strength to push on, to keep running the race set before you. Please take care.

Sent by Bethany | 10:29 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy:

As another one who lives "checkup to checkup" I was heartened by your good news a couple of months ago and heartbroken by the bad news. But you have one thing most of us cancer patients do not have. For lack of a better term I'll just just "Brass". Lots of it!

Right now I am praying to see you back on radio and television doing what you love. If anyone can beat this back, I think you can.

All the best in this new fight! Lots of people like me with indolent metastasized cancer are pulling for you. You show us how this fight needs to be done.

Bless you for that.

BEN

Sent by Ben T. | 10:43 AM ET | 06-08-2007

Leroy--I 'subscribe' to your blog, so I get it one day later as an email. Somehow I knew, before I opened the message this morning (6/8) that it wasn't the news we were all hoping it would be. I came to the blog, sent a reply to your post for today and the cybergods blew it away...which gave me time to read these comments.

I like best the way that Jerry put it: "If living with purpose is our common goal, you have done so during your ordeal."

Living with purpose IS our common goal, Leroy, whether that purpose is individual or shared as you have done so bravely (more brave than me, boyo--I still journal with pen and paper ) And I hope for you that you will continue to be strong enough to 'live with purpose.'
PAS

Sent by Pat | 11:07 AM ET | 06-08-2007

I'm so sorry.....

Many prayers coming your way from South Carolina.

Lisa Majors

Sent by Lisa Majors | 11:20 AM ET | 06-08-2007

I'm so sorry to hear that the tumors have come back. I'm fighting kidney cancer myself and know the feeling of what might happen tomorrow. I am writing though about a new option to cancer patients. Saint Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor, has recently received the CyberKnife. It is the first in Michigan and not many in the US. I believe it is about 50. They have a website www.sjmercyhealth.org which described it better than I could but it looks like something that might be beneficial to many. Since radiation or chemo is ineffective to kidney cancer, I asked if this new radiation tool was helpful for kidney cancer patients. This radiation specialist indicated that they have had success with it with patients like me. That gives me hope. Since I was diagnosed in October with stage 4 kidney cancer and without much hope, a new medicine has been introduced (Nexavar) which is so far keeping the lymph nodes under control. I had the kidney and tumor removed in October. So I am living beyond the first doctor's prediction and am now hoping for years instead of months. My prayers are with you Leroy. Don't give up the fight. Check this site out. Radiation is stronger and can reach new areas in the body.

Sent by Jackie | 3:58 PM ET | 06-08-2007

I am so very sorry to hear the news. Have been thinking about you and how the scans went. Especially when I have been at radiation everyday for the past 15 days with my mother. Her second round of radiation, and then next week we start chemo again. Hang in there. There are lots of people praying for you.

Sent by Terri Bird | 4:57 PM ET | 06-08-2007

Leroy,
Never surrender. My thoughts are with you.

Sent by sher | 5:44 PM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy, I've been reading your blog continuously for the past two weeks and seemto have formed a strong identification with you. I noticed feeling an underlying haze of anxiety yesterday--knowing it was "results day", hoping you'd be given an intermission in this cancer drama. It was with trepidation that I accessed your blog today and with great sadness that I read your news. My cancer is also very serious--and unnerving. How can one feel well yet be so ill? But perhaps our vigor and livliness signals a readiness to do battle once again. But whoever glorified war?

Sent by Sally Jenkins | 5:59 PM ET | 06-08-2007

dammit.

Sent by Liz Cratty | 6:19 PM ET | 06-08-2007

Dear Leroy: What stinkin news! But I know you are ready to fight the beast again, just wish it wasn't so for you. Your blogs are my inspiration for the day and just found them a couple of months ago. I am stage III crc with met to the lung 4 years later. 4 years after lung surgery I am still NED, but as you said we always wait for the beast to rear it's ugly head again. I wish you the best in this latest blip and hope you can beat the big C again. Fran

Sent by Fran | 8:30 PM ET | 06-08-2007

This is just another day in the war. My husband fought for a long time--mostly with his attitude--like you. Obviously the cancer is real but it turns out to be mind over matter--it's all in the way you look at it. You can give up because you have cancer or you can decide to fight for your life because you have cancer. My husband fought the good fight for 22 months with stage 3b lung cancer--a feat in itself--so hold on--attitude really helps.

Sent by Kathy Barney | 10:09 PM ET | 06-08-2007

Leroy, I must admit I've been visiting relatives for 3 weeks and haven't been able to read the blog and I've really missed it (yep, it's right up there with my own bed, air conditioning and my pets). So I read today's not at all expecting what I just read. I am soooo sorry for you and your family as well as all of us who feel like we know you a little. That's it - I'm not leaving you to your divices alone again for this long! We all know the big "c" is always lurking in the dark shadows out of site (coward that it is), but we don't have to like it for us or for anyone else. I'm quite sure you will keep going with all the finnesse you can manage and we will continue to praise you and what you're doing here (not just on the blog - also in life). People like you are the people we need in our own pathetic whiny lives to pull us up by the bootstraps. Keep up the good work and know that all will work out, some how, some way, for the way it should be. Thank you again for sharing your pain with all of us amd hopefully you can soon share happy news with us.

Sent by Tammy Malachowski | 10:16 PM ET | 06-08-2007

LeRoy - I feel your pain, and I've found that it just means a lot to know that others are thinking of you and that they care. You got me hooked the night I saw the Koppel show - I told my husband that your story so closely mirrors his it is scary. He has multiple myeloma (cancer of the bone marrow) and I have breast cancer. I really don't know too many couples that are both going through this at the same time, and yes, it does suck, twice as much to be exact. I have found that sometimes our good days are when one of us is good enough to make sure the other one is OK. No one but a cancer patient knows the feeling of going through the tests, the waiting.....I think that waiting is the worst. Last time we waited (for him), we were wondering if the myeloma had returned, and how bad it was (it is incurable, so they just treat it with something until it doesn't work anymore); and the unthinkable happened. His myeloma was in remission, but he had developed myelodysplasia, or failure of the bone marrow. At least before, we knew what we were looking for, or at least we thought we did. I do have one thing to say - maybe it will help. I had a friend who once said "if this is as bad as you've ever had it, you've been lucky". Some days just thinking about that, over and over, makes a difference. It puts things in perspective. But it still sucks.

Sent by Jeanette Carney | 11:58 PM ET | 06-08-2007

im so sorry to hear that leroi.
isabel from newjerey.

Sent by isabel collazo | 9:11 AM ET | 06-09-2007

Leroy, I am so sorry to hear that you still have tumors. Living with cancer is like a horrible roller coaster, the emotional and physical ups and downs, and the occasional chance to just coast & feel "normal." And so we all try our best to live as gracefully as we can with this knowledge, but some days it's just a bitch. Thank you ever so much for your wide-open approach, for letting us all share this journey we're on.

Sent by Karen Thielman | 10:06 AM ET | 06-09-2007

Mr Sievers, Sorry to hear about your latest battle. I know the feeling of walking in, feeling good, and getting slapped in the face. My prayers are with with.

Sent by Roxi | 11:22 AM ET | 06-09-2007

So sorry to hear about your scan. I read your blog but have never written before. My sister-in-law is in the final stages of melanoma. We, too, have been up and down for the past 18 months and can relate to the waiting for the results of the scan and the disappointment that cuts so close to the bone. We will keep you in our prayers

Sent by Cheryl Schroeder | 1:24 PM ET | 06-09-2007

Leroy, I'm right there with you. My Stage IV cancer had responded to the chemo, and I had a few precious weeks of looking at the future and wondering about my future plans also. But my scan of last week also showed recurrent tumors, and I'm readying myself for my doctor visit on Monday to hear about the next new chemo regimen and its effects. The next wave of chemo is the last known protocol for me, and the day that I'm told 'there's nothing more we can do' looms closer. I'm trying very hard to practice 'mindfulness' in that I am consciously allowing myself about 20 - 30 minutes each day to feel the grief, primarily at the thought of my dear 11-year old daughter being deprived of her mother much too early....and then I try to put the thought on a shelf and re-enter the present life. My mission is to find joyful moments in each day, say prayers of gratitude, and to show love as much as possible. Thank you for this blog, and for your role in the Ted Koppel show. There are way too many of us travelling this journey, and your words on the show really helped our loved ones get a glimpse into our reality. Enjoy each day, Leroy.

Sent by Lisa Gingco | 6:56 PM ET | 06-09-2007

Leroy,
This sucks. I felt like I was breaking news of a family member or friend when I told people today. (I talk about your blog a lot). That said, I'm hopeful for you. The hard part will be getting back into the grind of being a patient, constantly getting poked, scanned, marked, tested. It is a constant reminder that we are cancer patients. I hope they can zap these spots out of existance for you.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 7:51 PM ET | 06-09-2007

Dear Leroy, I was so sorry to read your 6/7 post about new tumors. This news really hits hard. Our son, Andrew, will probably have to under one year of Interferon and I am having nightmares about that. I am so happy you made it to Hawaii and had such a wonderful time. Our Andrew's big interest is traveling and I doubt he will ever get to take another trip. My husband and I are going to Mexico City in a few days. I will pray for you, my son, and all cancer victims at the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe. I can't tell you enough how much your blog has meant to me. Thanks for your courage and honesty.

Sent by Maureen J. Patton | 8:41 AM ET | 06-11-2007

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Leroy. I know you already know this, but, for what it's worth, you've got literally hundreds of people pulling for you. Hang in there.

Sent by Adam | 9:52 AM ET | 06-11-2007

amidst the joy and pride and admiration of my daughter at her graduation from the U of Chicago - I had to sneak in a minute to check your blog. Serious bummer!!!! Please know that you were there with us, to share the optimism and accomplishment and anxiety of these proud parents and graduates - in the beauty of Harper Quad at the U of C.
And to Elizabeth B, whose brother has brain cancer. So does my brother, Jeff. He is GBM IV, and is a five year survivor. Like Leroy, he is a true inspiration for me.
This blog is a family.
A BIG HUG to you.

Cindy, in Durham, NC

Sent by Cindy Williams | 8:28 PM ET | 06-11-2007

Leroy:

I am so sorry to hear that your monster has again reared his ugly head. While you have been in my prayers since learning of you and this blog, I will redouble the efforts again now.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts as you move through your battle. I have an aunt who is battling breast cancer that quite frankly is amazing the doctors that she is still with us. Hers metasticized from her breast to her liver to her lung, to her brain, and to her spine. I have shared your blog with her as I am sure she is feeling some of the same ways you are as you battle your aggressor.

She is an inspiration to all of us as you are to hang in there and keep on fighting no matter what we face each day.

We will stay positive and pray for great results and another reprieve for each of you.

May God Bless You.

Cindy
Tampa, FL

Sent by Cindy | 11:32 PM ET | 06-13-2007

This was so hard to read after all that you have been through. May God bless you and keep you strong. You do not know how much hope you have given to others...in the end, you have given so much to them and you will be rewarded one day...Cancer sucks.

Sent by Tim Broussard | 8:56 AM ET | 06-14-2007

I am stunned and saddened -- and imagine that's not a 100th of what you're feeling. I send peace, serenity, and healing energy your way.

Sent by Teresa | 11:35 AM ET | 06-15-2007

I have been watching the taped "Living With Cancer" show that aired some time ago. It has been stored on my DVR so I could watch it. My 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with Accute Lymphoblastic Leukemia 2 years ago. My husband does not like to watch these types of shows because I think it then shows this is a reality. I watch, look, learn, listen, ask questions, read books, et