Thank you SO much for todays comments Leroy!
Cancer is a beast and admitting it is a dose of reality for me and sometimes gives me permission to feel bad and not have to be positive all the time. Cancer is messy, and not an easy way out, thats for sure!
thank you
jenn

Sent by Jenn | 7:27 AM ET | 07-27-2007

'Morning Leroy,

I have just watched the EMT and paramedic team take one of my neighbors to the hospital via ambulance. For some reason, this has really upset me. Then I loaded the page with your blog, and WOW! Yes, you are angry, and I really don't blame you. You certainly have a right to be angry and I am not going soften it. However,

Perhaps Mrs. Romney feels they can treat or make attempts to treat cancer and with MS. It is hard to diagnose MS, it is usually a diagnosis of exclusion. We have tried to find everything else, but can't so it must be MS. There is little that they can offer given the way the disease presents or acts or a patient with MS may be using a walker, cane, or wheelchair. Arthritis causes deformities, pain, increase immobility. Sometimes we can help those patients with total joints, and rehab. Strokes (a friend just had a significant one last week), immobility, can steal independence in a second, plus or minus depending on the site of the stroke speech or the comprehension of speech. Rehab and devices to help them perform simply daily activities are available. Maybe it was because some patients with cancer can not be recognized when out in public. Hair pieces can cover baldness from chemo, ports for venous access can be covered by clothes, etc.

Any chronic illness that robs a person of independence, mobility or causes the person to be in constant pain can be hell for those who suffer with it. For the family, it is hell to watch a person suffer and not the be the person they were.

Sent by Susan Chap | 8:04 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Eloquent as always! Your desciption was perfect. I'm not inclined to give Ms. Romney a break, ignorant or not I would think she could be a bit more sensitive. I for one vote for anger.

Sent by Dona | 8:05 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I will come right out and say it for you Leroy... you are much too "politically correct"....

That statement is IGNORANT!!

I would never say such a thing.. you are absolutely correct.. she obviously has no clue just what it means to "have cancer" and particularly to die from cancer... it is NOT a quick and easy death... it is long (most times though not always).. it is PAINFUL... it destroys the body from the inside out... the surgeries.. the treatments.. the constant waiting for the next shoe to drop......

I know little of MS... I do know a number of people who have it... but I would never say "if only I had MS instead of cancer".......

How presumptuous!!

Like I said... how ignorant!!

ANY long term degenerative and debilitating disease SUCKS...

Please learn a bit about something before you make such a statement! It totally demeans and dismisses us.....

Okay... so now we both have vented! :-)

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 8:18 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Dear Leroy/All,

Right on target! Todays post gives me the opportunity to say something that I have thought about and felt guilty about for the last 16 months.

I often wished that my husband had suffered a fatal heartack rather than be striken with this dreadful disease. I say this with guilt because I'm not sure if I really mean it; the though of losing him is unbearable. I know that if I told my feelings to anyone their response would be " At least you have a chance to say goodbye" But I think its harder to watch your loved one suffer than not having a chance to say goodbye"

Cancer has taken its toll on me and my children. We are a family in crisis. I lost both my parents to cancer at a very young age and remember vividly the ugliness of it all. I don't know who I want to cry for first, my husband, my children or myself. I was looking forward to growing old with my husband, spending our so called "Golden Years" together. But, cancer takes this away from you. Yes Leroy, it steals your future takes away your dreams, it is a beast, a monster.

So Mrs. Romney, with all due respect, I don't think you would like the "Cancer World" It is far from the easy way out............you have no idea how far!

Sent by sasha | 8:20 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Cancer does all the things you said today long after the person I loved died from it.

Sent by Cleaning up after the elephants | 8:21 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Ahmen, Leroy!
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer last July, I decided that I would work through the chemo and radiation as long as I could and with the support of my employer, I made it. I also choose to keep my diagnosis to a limited number of colleagues and clients for all the obvious personal privacy reasons. One day, a client called to say he would be taking an extended leave of absence for a surgical procedure that was expected to require a prolonged recovery. Being sensitized to the world of the unwell, I expressed my hope that he would recovery quickly and that everything would be alright. He got a little defensive and replied 'it could be worse, it could be cancer!' I was stunned. Another indication of the deep shit you find yourself in dealing with cancer.
What I don't like is people who now pussy-foot around me on topics they must consider too close to cancer. Or, the other breed who consider my cancer must have endowed me with some soul-portal that contains all the hidden answers of the universe!
As my brother used to say 'life is like a beanstalk. Get over it'
Peace.

Sent by jessie | 8:31 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Absolutely incredible for her to say something like that. I know how awful and unpredictable MS can be, but to say something as ignorant as she did....well, I wasn't going to vote for her husband anyway.

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:44 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I cannot imagine her road is easy either. Her comments are born out of ignorance and her own personal painful journey, I have to believe, but it was a pretty insensitive statement.

Sent by Karen | 8:57 AM ET | 07-27-2007

While I agree that Ann Romney???s comment shows ignorance regarding cancer. I feel as though you missed the one thing that cancer offers that other terminal illness like MS lack, hope. Beyond the hope for a medical miracle, those with MS, Alzheimer???s, Huntingdon???s disease, and other terminal medical conditions have nothing to hope for. They have irreversible conditions that will rob them of their body and mind before their eventual death. I can imagine that those diagnosed with Alzheimer???s would actually prefer to be diagnosed with a cancer that has a 1% cure rate so they can at least have hope that they will be cured. Cancer offers hope, and regardless of how horrible the beast is, that is one of its benefits.

Sent by Derek | 9:01 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I'm angry too Leroy. Frustrated actually, which sometimes I think is even worse than anger as it nags and eats at you. I'm so sick and tired of people comparing diseases and who has it worse. Yes, some do have it worse as their disease may never improve or their life is in a steady decline. However, does it really help anyone to compare? No matter how grave things are there is always someone worse but it doesn't matter because your pain and suffering is your own and that is enough. I was diagnosed with Lupus 10 years ago and thought that was bad. Now cancer. Cancer seemed worse but in truth they both suck and I shouldn't have to deal with either. Lupus won't kill me (mine isn't sever enough) but the cancer could however, it doesn't make the pain or worry of either less. When I meet someone that has cancer but didn't have to go through chemo I don't think they had it easy. I think what a blessing that chemo was not part of their protocol but also think of the anguish they live with. I'm rambling now cause I'm just ticked. I think it comes down to compassion or the lack there of.

Also, I'm sick of everyone talking about my cancer as a gift. (I was guilty of using the phrase early on but I've changed my mind.) Yes, I've changed and for the better for it but does that make it a gift? If it does I'd sure like to return it. I'm making the most of my experience and giving it meaning. That's a choice. Cancer on its own did not do that for me, it just was the catalyst for it and I snatched the opportunity. I think remaining naive would have been ok too frankly. Ignorance can be bliss.

So as you say, dear Mrs. Romney is ignorant and she has enough on her hands and I pray she remains so. I wouldn't trade diseases or pain with anyone, I know how to deal with my own.

Good little rant Leroy.

Sent by Lori | 9:02 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I would give her a "pass". Unfortunately, there are those who feel that their disease is #1 (don't quite get how one would rank diseases)in terms of suffering. While I understand how she would feel this way about her plight but to articulate her feelings in such a way is at best insensitive, selfish and extremely naive. I could go on a rant but I won't.

Suffice it to say, it appears that Mrs. Romney is entangled in her own "pity party" and will probably never acknowledge that all life-changing diseases bring adversity, a sense of helplessness and often hopelessness. Those who demonstrate grace and acceptance in the face of adversity distinguish themselves from those who view themselves as victims.

The members of this blog demonstrate grace each and every day in the face of terrifying diagnoses. Perhaps a note to Mrs. Romney to invite her to read this blog each day would give her some much needed perspective.

Blessings and prayers.

Sent by Al Cato | 9:14 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Amen Leroy! I am not the person with cancer in my family, my dad is. And since April our family has learned way more than we ever wanted to know about cancer. Before that though, I never thought of cancer as a disease that I would want over another. Then again I have had neither MS nor cancer so who am I to say. I just know Cancer Sucks!! Thanks Leroy. I look forward to reading your blog everyday.

Sent by Wanda | 9:21 AM ET | 07-27-2007

How many times I have opened your blog and read your eloquent words describing my very own feelings. It is uncanny.

Ms. Romney is to be forgiven. She is suffering, too. I'll bet we have all opened our mouths and said something we were sorry for later.

But that doesn't lessen the truth of your words, Leroy. I especially love the line: "Cancer twists the present and steals the future." Yes. It does that, indeed.

Sent by Sandra Shuler | 9:26 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Great post Leroy. You really provide a perspective for those people who are fortunate to have never had the cancer experience. Each day you open the window into the life of being a cancer patient. Many people do not know what the patient role truly consists of on a daily basis. You provide wisdom that can benefit so many people. When I was first diagnosed, the unknown was what scared me the most. Someone just starting treatment can use this blog to provide the piece of mind that is essential to buckle down and fight the fight.

One take on today's post involves my own experience with cancer. Larry David addressed the issue in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I lived it. I was diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkin's Disease 4 years ago. People who were familiar with the cancer often quipped, "That's the good one to have, right?" In the same light of Mrs. Romney's statements, pure ignorance guides this perspective. Does HD have a good prognosis, yes comparatively, but it is still cancer. I am a pretty big guy and regardless of my WBC count, I got the fll does of treatment (ABVD) every 14 days for 6 months. My oncologists couldn't believe the amount of chemo I was getting, all based on size. I later learned that I received more chemo in those 6 months than anyone previously treated at that institution. But hey, it was the good cancer to have!

Many thanks to you Leroy for your steadfast dedication to this blog and to your fight. Every comment posted in to every entry is evidence of the large following and incredible amount of support we all offer.

Sent by Steve | 9:41 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Hi Leroy,

I enjoyed your confession. YOU read People? LOL I live up here in Rochester, NY. I am a survivor of breast cancer that spread outside the breast and into my surrounding lymph nodes. It's scary stuff. In late June, five young girls were killed in a fiery car crash four days after they crossed the stage at their graduation ceremony. It brought our community to our knees. People magazine covered it.. and they got it SO wrong. So, I definitely don't subscribe to "the Gospel according to People Magazine" but, that being said, I am not a fan of Mitt and Mrs. Romney either. Shame on her.

Sent by Holly | 9:45 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Anger is ok, isn't it. I am a person with stage IV renal cell cancer, with no evidence of disease--right now. The fact is that RCC is resistant to all existing chemotherapy and to radiation. Immunotherapy is experimental, and I went through that. It wasn't fun, but I was in-patient for the duration--in other words, no one, except close friends and family, saw me at my worst. I didn't lose my hair, my skin changed, but no one but me would really notice that.

So here I am, walking around with stage IV cancer, just waiting for it to decide to attach my lungs, bones and brain (which is what RCC tends to do whenever it feels like it), and I definitely look as though I'm better off than someone who has to deal with MS, which is no walk in the park, either. But I'm not. Every day I worry about when (not if, because I've basically been assure it will) the RCC is going to change its mind and pop up all over. I have also had severe chronic pain in my back and legs for many years as a result of an accident. Another invisible disability. When I say, no, I can't do that, I get pushed and pushed until I feel I should raise my shirt and show the scars (I've never done that-I now have matching 10" scars, front and back--lovely).

I think I'm angry, too, Leroy.

Thanks for your posts; I take time from my work every day to read the day's blog.

Wendy

Sent by Wendy Murphey | 9:50 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy, in the short time I have been following your blog, I am of the strong persuasion you will want to recant at least part of today's. In a world where there are multiple ways to die from cancer, where there is MS, Lou Gehrig's, AIDS...the list goes on, I would bet that you will not want to quibble about which is the most gruesome, carries the greatest burden or is the most cruel.

These diseases are horrible, each, and each broadcasts misery to sufferer and caregiver alike.

Ms. Romney may be misinformed or uninformed (as you admit you are about MS to some degree), but there should be no room for anger here. We all have more to concern ourselves with than such comparisons.

Let us go forward with compassion and sympathy, and feel SORROW, perhaps, for those whose knowledge beyond their personal causes is so limited.

Hope and humor, my friend!

Sent by Joe Alvey | 9:53 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I have followed your blog for the last year following my wife's diagnosis of breast cancer. I commend you for alot of things, your bravery and insight in particular. But today I was so impressed with your use of words: Cancer twists the present and steals the future. How graphic and concrete and true and unfortunate. Thank you for your hard thinking and effort that you put into your exposition.

Sent by Joe Legg | 9:55 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I was lucky in that my cancer was found early. But right now we are watching our friend's 14 year old daughter die of rhabdomyosarcoma, and as you say, it isnt just painful for the patient, it is devastating for everyone who loves them. They are all trying to squeeze as much love and life as they can into the little time they have left together, which is getting harder and harder to do, as she is having more pain and difficulty with mobility.
Her goal is to make it to camp one last time, which is next week. It isn't a sure thing. Her condition may make it impossible to go. This weekend family and friends will be together at a baptism and barbecue. We are going to be there, as we live a few hours away, and realistically, this may be the last time we see her.
Anger? Yeah, that word works...some people just don't get it..and we can only thank God that not everyone has to.

Sent by Nancy Kelly | 9:57 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy, Your comments and Lori's today hit the nail on the head. Mrs. Romney's ignorance, naivety, and insensitivity are not desirable qualities in the wife of a presidential candidate, and maybe reading this blog or a chat with Mrs. Elizabeth Edwards could open and expand her vision and perspective.

Sent by Karen Q | 9:57 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Hi Leroy/All..

Wow... You said that well.

Carpe' Diem. Shirl Dolitz

Sent by Shirley Dolitz | 10:05 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I agree with Mr. Cato, someone should send her a link to this blog. I know that MS is a dreadful disease, but that comment is very ignorant and selfish.

Sent by Denise | 10:12 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I'm surprised by Mrs. Romney's comments. I'm not sure anyone with a chronic condition should compare their illness with that of anyone else. Is MS cruel? Yes. Is cancer cruel? Yes. Is all disease cruel? Definite yes.

As someone diagnosed eight years ago with MS I will say that I wake up to this knowledge every day. Every day I can feel my toes, take a step, see, smile, is a miracle. My diagnosis actually woke me up to what in life is important and to not worry about the little trivial things.

In many ways I see similarities between chronic diseases in that once you have it, even if it goes into remission, you will always have it. Much like Mrs. Edwards has said, she now knows what she will die of - she just doesn't know when.

In actuality, that's true for every human life. We don't know if any of us will live to see tomorrow.

In the meantime, I give thanks each day for the little miracles and as my grandmother taught me - to try to find the beauty in every day. Life it too short and precious to spend it being angry.

Sent by Lisa | 10:23 AM ET | 07-27-2007

As a person diagnosed with MS 15 years ago and and stage IV kidney cancer 5 months ago, I'll take MS any day. I don't see Mrs. Romney in a wheelchair or using any aids to get around, so how bad off is she? I don't know much about her MS experience, but I intend to research it now. As a person with MS I'm offended by her remark. As a person with cancer I'm outraged at her insensitivity. The most disturbing part is that she sees death as an escape from the hand she's been dealt. My approach and my attitude has always been to focus on the positive and do whatever is needed to survive. I don't what's so wrong with her life, but like just about everyone here, I just want to LIVE.

Better not check my BP this morning. Have a great weekend.

Sent by Shaun | 10:30 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Hey Leroy,
What an ignorant statement by Mrs. Romney. As Al stated, she is obviously having a "pity party". I could see where she might think that the success rates with cancer is such that a recovery is possible. But that's not what she said. No need to preach to the choir here how off base she is on that comment. In my situation, I am one year cancer free and am feeling great about that. My life, now, will never be the life I used to have. I can only observe that from behind the glass. I am now on a new path. Which, I feel, is going to be better than the original path that I was on. Perhaps Mrs. Romney is lamenting more about the loss of her original "normal" life. Catastrophic disease is very disrupting, to be Captain Obvious for a moment. No one asks for any of these things. Somehow, we have been given it, either genetically or environmentally, and must deal with it the best we can. She needs to focus on what she can do to bring awareness to it and put a positive light on it. I know that's easier said than done, I don't know how effective I would have been bringing anything positive to the treatments I was going through last year. I wish her the best, she is obviously in a lot of emotional pain. I think this is a case of we just have to consider the source and her situation, and move on. I agree with you Leroy, I hope that she never has to learn more. I hope, one day, no one does.
Stay safe, stay strong,
Lance

Sent by Lance Carlson | 10:36 AM ET | 07-27-2007

That was a pretty insensitive comment by Romney. It would be like me saying gee, I wish I just had the flu. Of course, I saw 2 kids die of the flu this winter. I'm sure their parents wish they'd had cancer. One never knows how hard it is to deal with an illness and should be more sensitive especially having an inside look.

Sent by lisa | 10:42 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Good Morning Leroy and All,

I can totally understand the strong feelings expressed this morning regarding Ms. Romney's comments. It is shocking when someone of high political stature doesn't meet expectations. But I guess we are all human after all. Frustration sometimes speaks before our brains can monitor the output. That is not an excuse, I know. But it is the best reason I can come up with right now.

Rating the heart break of disease is an impossible task. I lost two friends this week: One, a young man of 39, to a heart attack the other a man in his 60's to cancer. Which death hurts most? I don't know. My head knows what happened but my heart refuses to go there. They say that things happen in 3's. So I'm wondering, what next?

It remains very difficult to express intense feelings with mere words. But that makes this blog even more important because it gives support and acceptance without regard to political correctness. Thank you, Leroy and Thank you All. God Bless.

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 10:46 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Anger towards Ms. Romney is wasted energy. Save your energy for positive change. She speaks out of ignorance. Ignorance comes in many shapes and sizes. It is not limited by race, economic standing or educational level - just like cancer. If she wants the easy way out I'm sure there's a close by major interstate where she can just jump in front of an 18-wheeler. No pain. No suffering. Boom. Done.

Her comments were surprisingnly insensitive for someone of her social stature. I guess Mitt just lost the "cancer vote". He didn't have mine to start with.

Sent by Dave Ulery | 10:51 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I have been reading this blog for quite awhile now, after hearing Leroy on NPR. I must say I am ashamed of today's rants. My younger brother was diagnosed with primary progressive MS in 1993. There is no effective treatment as yet. He spent the last three years of his life bedridden, with a catheter and feeding tube. He died of sepsis for a urinary tract infection. Shame on you for trying to best each other with who has it worst. Shame.

Sent by Dianne | 10:54 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy, you have every right to be angry with such ignorance. I am angry also, but just pity her and her insensitivity.
By the way, my husband's brother in SC has just been scheduled to have "Kyphon" done on two of his vertebra on Aug 1st. He has been in terrible pain for weeks now. He has cancer and the Chemo has had it's effect on his spine. Isn't that what you are going to have done? They say it is great! Sure hope so.

Sent by J C Rakowski | 10:57 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I'm familiar with both cancer and MS. Both test a person's ability to carry on. The way I read Ann Romney's comment was simply this -- she was wishing for a "challenge" of shorter duration, since she might have to struggle with MS for decades, whereas a cancer "fight" is often measured in months or years. I didn't sense that she was suggesting that cancer is an "easier" way out.

Sent by Virginia Foster | 11:00 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Your post reminds me of something I wrote shortly after my diagnosis. I received one of those little books called, "What Cancer Cannot Do" from a well meaning friend. I was angry and writing my own version was extremely empowering to me. It's not as eloquent as Leroy's post, but I wanted to share it anyway. I probably should preface this with a statement about how I'm not an angry and bitter person. I'm dealing with the cancer, but I live in reality, and sometimes I'm mad, sad or glad. Allowing myself to experience the feelings when they come is the way I'm able to let them go and move on. Pretending to be positive all the time is insanity - in my opinion.
"What Cancer Can Do" Cancer can take away parts of your body. Cancer can steal your energy. It can force you to give up things you love and have worked hard to do and have. Fighting cancer can cost a great deal. It can take a sharp mind and turn it to mush. Beautiful hair and skin can be destroyed. Cancer and its treatments can kill sexual desire and sometimes even the ability to have sex. It can wreak havoc on a strong relationship. People with beautiful, full sexual energy are no match for a disease that can take away all parts of a person that makes them that way. Cancer can destroy friendships. It scares the hell out of people who want tidy endings. It can end a life - take away the light before it takes the soul. Cancer creates widows and orphans and it leaves parents alive and wondering how their child can be dead before them. It can take away childhood, adolescence or adulthood. Cancer doesn't care if it's the best years - it doesn't care about the suffering. Cancer can do a hell of a lot of real things that hurt and maim even the strongest soul.

Sent by Scarlett Harris | 11:02 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Dear Leroy/Others,

One of the things that my cancer has taught me is the amazing generosity of others. This includes our care givers (doctors, nurses, etc.), family, extended family, friends, and even strangers. Based on this, I have a different perspective on the quote by Ms. Romney.

Imagine this, you are being tortured and you wish the torturing would just end and you could die. Is that what Ms. Romney is really saying? Is that what some (or many) of us are feeling or facing? So, she struck out at a somewhat faceless enemy, cancer, versus striking out at "torture" and many of you became angry at her. I will give her the benefit of the doubt. I do not know what she is going through and obviously she does not know me (or us) and what we are going through. It is certainly okay to be angry. I get angry at what this disease has done to my spouse, me, my family, and my friends... in that order. Sometimes we even need to be angry at others. But, on this one, I will give Ms. Romney a pass.

With great respect to Leroy and all of you,

Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 11:02 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Wow - that statement takes my breath away. My 7 year old son is currently on hospice, dying from stage IV neuroblastoma. He is on 40mg/hour of morphine for the intense pain the cancer is causing and his eyes are swollen and black and blue from the cancer in his orbital bones.

I wish my son had any other chronic disease. The suffering surely could not be worse than battling cancer for 4 years, watching it take over his body and then dying from it.

Sent by Susan Gentry | 11:04 AM ET | 07-27-2007

When I first returned to work (during my chemo) and I had a nice shiny bald head..An older couple passed me as I was entering the building and they were leaving. A frind of mine was also entering the building and passed the elderly couple just in time to hear the woman say to her husband in regards to my lack of hair " What makes a woman want to do that to her hair?" My friend just chuckled to herself and later told me of the incident. My only thought was of how fortunate this couple was. Obviously they had never had to deal with cancer and the chemo bald head. I hope they can live the remainder of their lives without ever having to. I would much rather be ignorant of these cancer lessons than have this lovely bald head.

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 11:08 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I hope Ms. Romney reads this blog so she can get a sense of what the people in this community go through. If she acheives that understanding, the unfortunate comment will have been worthwhile. I'm certain she was not trying to be uncaring.

Sent by Steve | 11:09 AM ET | 07-27-2007

Unless one is a resident of CancerLand, one cannot understand the layers of change that this disease takes a person through. I know. I also know how difficult it is for a family member or close friend to talk to me around check up time or if I am not feeling well. Cancer marks us; although the era of the "big C" is over; the fear, the assumptions and the ignorance, as displayed by Ms. Romney, are still prevalent.

Okay, Ms. Romney may just be scared and tired. If she could hang out during test prep time, port flush time, exam time, continual colonoscopy/sigmoidoscopy merry-go-round time, she might get it.

I hold no grudges. I would also not vote for her husband nor support the party he represents.

Yes, cancer takes our present and future and circumvents most previously conceived ideas of normal or previous expectations. Our world is different, as we step in and out of CancerLand.

Sent by Deborah J. | 11:14 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I know what it's like to make an off-handed remark only to later realize the insensitive impact one's words can bestow upon others. The more compassionate part of me is willing to dismiss Mrs. Romney's comments as merely unintentional.
However, as a cancer patient and political junkie, I can say Mrs. Romney's comment was not only misguided, but also a critical misstep for a political candidate???s wife (let's not forget she plays an important role in Mitt's campaign).
As a cancer patient, I can say, along with virtually everyone else here, that I would not wish cancer on anyone (no matter who they are or what they did or did not do).
While cancer has provided me with a much deeper understanding of spirituality and the overall human condition, it is worth noting the price I've had to pay has often been much more than I could afford.

Sent by Michael McGalin | 11:28 AM ET | 07-27-2007

As always, Leroy, you are right on target with your choice of topics.

If I wasn't a resident of Eastern Massachusetts, I might be inclined towards a "pass" for Ann Romney. After all, her statement captures the lack of knowledge that makes the phrase "you have cancer" so terrifying. And, that takes us back to the one of the earliest posts on this blog.

BUT, the fact is, as the former first lady of this state until just seven months ago, Ann Romney should know much, much better. She resides in a town (Belmont, MA) situated on a hill with spectacular views of the Boston skyline, to include its reknown cancer treatment facilities. The Mormon temple in Belmont, which I presume the Romneys attend, has an unbroken clear view, to be specific. One of the most visible charities in this state, which is the long-time extraordinarily well-publicized official charity of the Boston Red Sox, is The Jimmy Fund. This Fund raises tens, if not hundreds, of millions of dollars to support advances in treatment for children and adults at Dana Farber Cancer Institute, where 91% of funds raised goes directly to programs. I dare to write that it is impossible to live in this part of the state for any length of time and not know about the life lengthening advances in treatment made here. In fact, I would be very surprised if the Romneys had not been invited to and/or attended at least one of this charity's events while residing here. If I appear to be seething as a write this post, I am.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Sent by Sheara | 11:40 AM ET | 07-27-2007

What people say and what they mean are 2 different things...

Sent by steve | 11:43 AM ET | 07-27-2007

I don't think there is a lesser of evils in disease, but like you said she knows no better and hopefully will never have to put her words to a test.

Sent by Pat Beach | 12:00 PM ET | 07-27-2007

My husband used to say he wouldn't wish cancer on his worst enemy, not even__________(fill in your own blank).

And, although, it did, for the most part, happen to bring out the best in us (not always the case), we certainly never viewed it as a gift.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Sent by Marilyn | 12:05 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy,
I think you have every right to be angry. You won't stay angry you will move on. Anger is just another emotion we all have. I don't know why so many people think being righteously angry about something is so wrong.
Recently my grandson saw a program on TV about diabetes. He told his dad he would rather have cancer than diabetes. He made this comment based on what he has seen. I have lived in the same house with him since he was a baby. In that time I have been treated for ovarian and small bowel cancer. He sees me just keep going and he never sees me when I am feeling really bad. His mother was just diagnosed with uterine cancer. Again he saw her get up from treatment and keep going. So his comments are based on his experience and his level of understanding. He is only ten years old and fortunately has not seen the worst of cancer. If and when that happens his perspective will mature. I hope that doesn't happen to him for a long time.
Anyone with a serious disease or a loved one with a serious disease has my sympathy. We can't know what it is like until we have walked in their shoes.
Again, thanks for your wonderful thoughts and words.
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 12:07 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Dear Dianne

First let me say I am deeply sorry for teh suffering you brother had to endure......

It seems I have a much different perspective on "todays rants" than you seem to have....

I think the point was exactly that Mrs Romney seems to be attempting to make comparisons for which there are none....

Neither disease is better nor worse than the other... they BOTH suck.. they both destroy lives.. they both so dramatically change lives....

The point of these rants (at least mine anyway and I believe most others as well) is that she spoke out of ignorance and someone in her position in particular should know better and be more sensitive to everyone....

Just as I would not wish cancer on ANYONE.. neither would I wish MS on anyone....

The point is... whether you have MS or cancer or some other degenerative and debilitating disease... your life is going to change and may well be cut short or at minimum will never again be as it was......

I do not think anyone here has tried to say their disease was worse than any other... I think virtually everyone is simply saying... walk a mile in MY shoes BEFORE you wish to own them!

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 12:08 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I have been following your blog ever since I woke up one morning with my left side partially paralyzed thinking I had a stroke, but then tests (MRI) showed, according to the radiologist, that I had a brain tumor. I ran to Hopkins, where a brain tumor specialist looked at the MRI, laughed, and told me I didn't have a brain tumor - what the MRI showed was a "typical MS lesion." I looked at him with a deer in headlights stare. He told me I should be happy that it wasn't a brain tumor and that it was "just MS."

I hardly want to argue which is worse - they are both monsters (in fact, many MSers spell it "MonSter"). Fortunately, I got my MS at the elderly age of 58 - it is usually a young person's disease which sentences them to literally a lifetime of the horors of MS (most people with MS have a normal lifespan). The worst is that you never know what is going to happen next - you can go 2 years with nothing, then the next day wake up blind, or with horrible facial pain, or bowel and/or bladder incontinence, or cognitive problems, for men, ED, or anything else that nerves control. It can be painful, humiliating, disabling - you name it. I guess after decades of suffering MS, cancer just might look more appealing. Many cancers can be "cured." There is no cure for MS.

Yes, I was glad to hear I did not have brain cancer. But I was very sad to hear I had MS.

P.S. I still read your blog every day as so much of what you say also applies to MS. We are both suffering chronic illnesses and never know what is going to happen next.

Sent by Polly | 12:16 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Dianne: I think you are missing the point. Leroy's essay this morning, as I read it, was more about cancer NOT being an 'easy way out death', rather than trying to say MS or any other disease is an easier burden to bear. We cancer patients don't just 'get cancer and die'......we suffer first, too.

Yesterday, I had a visit to the clinic to get scan results. The cancer has progressed (again) and I'll be switched to yet another chemo drug. Pray,pray,pray.

I had a nice experience while there, however. We met the new fellow (MD) in the breast cancer clinic, Sheema H. She is a very good friend of Krupali's and asked me to send her a hello greeting and an apology for not being able to make it to her goodbye party.

I hope Krupali isn't too hot in India to read these posts so she'll get her friend's greeting!

Blessings, everybody.

Sent by Sandra Shuler | 12:18 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I believe that it is pure human nature to become very egocentric when living in "crisis mode". While undergoing diagnosis and treatment for stage 4 NHL, I admit I was (and still remain!!!) quite egocentric -- a really a human response to a negative situation that thrusts us into "survival mode". During the time I was undergoing chemo, a friend whose husband had just left her for another women said to me "That's okay, you've JUST got cancer but YOU'RE getting treatment....my situation is much much worse....MY husband LEFT me". Since that time, I've forgiven my friend for what struck me at the time as a VERY insensitive comment......my friend was living in her own little crisis mode --egocentricity being the human default setting . Ann Romney's ignorance shows through when she equates cancer with death -- but beyond that, what she said only shows that she's in crisis herself.

Sent by baw | 12:34 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Powerful words this morning Leroy!

Ditto what Ron said - IGNORANT!!!

Thanks Al for your comments - very helpful, thoughtful and true!

Scarlett - Appreciate your writing of what Cancer CAN do. How true.

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 12:34 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy, Sometimes, even an educated person, can say something so stupid, you wonder which Planet they call home. This on takes the cake for insensitive. One horrible disease is not preferable to another horrible disease. Living with any terrible disease is a hard life, is one more difficult than another? I think not!
You are too kind in your forgivness, for a public figure, she leaves something to be desired. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:43 PM ET | 07-27-2007

What was she THINKING? Or was she thinking at all? What a insensitive remark. I am too angry to go on with this but I want to thank Sheara for the information she shared. As someone else has stated, Mitt just lost the cancer vote and I never cared for his politics, either.

Brenda
Everett, WA

Sent by Brenda Y. Lynch | 12:56 PM ET | 07-27-2007

People can be so insensitive! I'm sure most who read the article saw what terrible thing to say that was. Firstly, cancer isn't a death-sentence, so it bothers me to see someone using it as such. Cancer is horrible, horrible. It weaned my baby prematurely and made an attempt on my life, but I was fortunate and I'm alive today at 29 years old to make my point.

I think the point is this: we need to be more sensitive to what others are experiencing. Cancer does tend to give us greater insight into these sensitivities, but there's no excuse for comments like the one in People. We all suffer, we all experience things differently and trading one horrible illness for another doesn't solve any problems. Cancer knows no mercy.

Sent by Samantha Tengelitsch, NHL Survivor 2 months | 12:58 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Well, he just lost "the cancer vote" (at least in my house).

Sent by Teri | 1:04 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Re Ann Romney: You're MUCH too kind!

Sent by Mary Z | 1:12 PM ET | 07-27-2007

The thought that I might have something like MSis what made th finding of cancer in my brain less scary.I've spent a good deal of time wondering why the cancer diagnosis did not frighten me as much as it seemed it should.Of course, my cancer is not as critical as yours.
Regards,
Brett

Sent by Brett Meacham | 1:16 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Oh my gosh - give me a flippin break!

We all know there are many aweful terrible illness in the world but Mrs. Romney is a public speaker who should know better. How could she say that?

She is feeding the cancer fear factor - creating the notion that the worse possible scenario is cancer and that cancer only causes death and oh thank god I do not have that to worry about!

Oh I am so so mad at her for this! I swear this is why folks treat our family so differently since my son began his second round of chemo.

I am tired of being the barometer for folks lives - "You know, it might be hard for us right now honey, but at least we do not have a child or family member on CHEMO!"

Please stop the contributing to the culture of cancer fear that there is no fate worse in life.

Just stop.

Sent by Melissa T North Aurora IL | 1:21 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Insensitive and "politically incorrect".

Never would I wish someone to have cancer. There's nothing easy about living with cancer as with any disease.

After the initial shock of hearing that I had a brain tumor I though how am I going to live with this? Not, thank goodness it's a brain tumor and not MS.. or CP.. or parkinson's or any other disease. They are all life changing... if I had a choice for anyone it would be to be disease free... not to have a different disease.

I say, shame on her. Think before you speak.

Sent by Chanda | 1:40 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I would give her a break. Everyone does this sort of thing, ime. I work with trauma patients. They all think their trauma is the worst (or most unique, or laden with the most difficulty), at some stage in their recovery.

The truth is, there is no worst, really. Everything is bad and difficult. And everything can be a gift, too. Or a fight, a battle, or a victory.

It really does depend on your perspective. That doesn't mean that cancer (or trauma) isn't what it is: hard and difficult. But we all have the opportunity to make what we can out of what we are given. Mrs. Romney has that same opportunity. I hope that she gets to that place in her journey, too. I think that comment was a reflection made at the beginning of her journey.

I'll bet that she is in another place, now. We all get perspective, one way or another.

Sent by jan | 1:46 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Could it be that much of the anger towards Mrs. Romney deals with her husband's particular career goals at the moment? Let's tone down the bias here, shall we?

Sent by Lane Denson | 2:09 PM ET | 07-27-2007

This goes ditto for alzeheimers and parkinsons. All these debilitating diseases are not only hell on the survivor but also on the care givers.

Sent by Barb | 2:11 PM ET | 07-27-2007

As one with MS, I can only say I have never wished I would die; I want to live my life to the fullest! The illness has changed my perspective and made me appreciate every minute, difficult or not. Everyone suffers - no one more than the other. Don't assume your pain is greater because it's yours!

Sent by Kay | 2:15 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Yes, you were, as you admit, angry. Your words are angry and many of the bloggers are as well. I am sorry Mrs. Rommney said these words. She must have been feeling pretty sick and angry herself. Let's please forgive her. It does no good to hang on tgo the anger and mostly we hang on because we are damn angry we have cancer.

Sent by Susan P | 2:22 PM ET | 07-27-2007

My cancer diagnosis was last October. My brother was very supportive during my chemo and radiation by writing emails, sending cards and flowers and comforting our mother. He was diagnosed with cancer on March 9th and died on March 29th. "Cancer twists our present and steals our future." I don't know if he didn't tell me how he felt because he was busy being my big brother or if he didn't sense anything was wrong until the end. Now I am comforting our mother and wishing he knew my treatments are ending and seem to be successful.

Sent by glenda | 2:26 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Dear Leroy
I read your blog everyday. Having lost five of my immediate family to this monster of a disease, I feel your pain, anger and frustration.
You need something wonderful to look forward to. Take the ferry from oslo to the Arctic circle. Get away.
You are a blessing to us all.
Rosemary

Sent by Rosemary | 2:41 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I think that we need to consider that perhaps Mrs. Romney's quote was pulled from an entire interview conversation, and she never, ever had the intentions that some people are reading into it. You all know how much words hurt, and I wonder if she is hurting about the interview....the words that someone possibly took out of context. Naomi Shihab Nye has written a wonderful poem on this very topic that deserves a read....it is in her "Nineteen Varieties of Gazelle" and is the final poem in the book, entitled "Postscript." It begins "I wish I had said nothing...." and I hope that some of the readers here will read it. Very poignant poem from someone's heart after being misquoted....and the hurt that it has caused.....

Sent by jill | 2:43 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy,

People who have huge amounts of money are often insulated from even the knowledge of what suffering means. It just isn't in their range of experience. We have to be made sensitive through experience. It just doesn't sound like Mrs Romney has experienced much beyond her own troubles or she wouldn't have said what she said. Among other things, it is politically incorrect for the wife of a presidential candidate.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 2:48 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Leroy,
No one could have said it better! Bless you.

Sent by Nancy Owen | 2:49 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I agree with you Leroy. Her comments were insensitive and what is she trying to do? - "My disease is worse than yours" My Cancer is worse than yours. How childish - we are all suffering and don't need trite comments from people who don't really understand.Thank you for expressing your feelings, it's OK to be angry but we will forgive her for she knows not what she is saying.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 2:56 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Hi Leroy,

I am sorry for all who have to deal with terrible health issues. I recently visited my cousin who has had MS for over 20 years. He can speak; and his mind and spirit are brilliant as always, but he has no mobility and no use of his body. I know his struggles are different from mine as a stage 4 cancer survivor; and I am not at all sure I could live my life as well as he is living his.
I pray for us all. We know too dearly how fragile life really is.

Sent by claudia | 3:15 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I'm in the "give the lady a break" camp. I don't envy anyone dealing with a debilitating disease, such as MS and cancer both surely can be. I don't know when we became such a super-sensitive society when we're all so quick to be affronted and to put the worst possible spin on whatever someone says, especially when it's reported in the press. Mrs. Romney, as far as I know, isn't running for office, and her cry from the heart about the level of suffering that she is enduring would more charitably be taken as just that...a cry from her heart. Suffering can break a persons' spirit, and that can lead to social filters becoming less acute. It reminds me a bit of a "game" that someone I know used to play with her husband..."I'm sicker than you!" No one wins at that game, and who would want to? We're all fellow travels here, and all vunerable to the "slings and arrows" of illness and debility. Instead of taking Mrs. Romney to task, perhaps we can wish her well, and/or say a prayer for her.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 3:31 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I also agree with Leroy's well written points. Someone in Mrs. Romney's position should know much better than to say such an ignorant and uneducated remark to the public. Make no mistake, that comment is insensitive REGARDLESS of her political affiliation.

Sent by SA | 3:35 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Hi Leroy,

My feelings are this: let's give any sick human being a break. Suffering is suffering on many similar and different levels.

What doesn't deserve a break, and isn't this blog's topic, are lies, disregard for the constitution of the United States of American and criminal actions on the part of our government leaders. (you know who they are.)

All I'm saying, is this, people get sick, people, their friends and families suffer, heartbreak, anguish, despair, anger, grief. These people all get a break in my book. Even when they say inappropriate or seemingly insensitive things. Which doesn't mean I don't have my own reactions and feelings in the moment.

The people who don't get a break in my book are administration officials who are committing crimes against the U.S.A. and her people on a daily basis. Anger there? Absolutely.

Sending healing thoughts to everyone suffering in whatever way they are suffering right now. None of it is ever easy. None of it ever really makes sense.

I care.

Sincerely,
Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 3:35 PM ET | 07-27-2007

As a 33 year old nonsmoker with Stage 4 lung cancer who has been fighting continuously for 2 years, I take offense that Ms. Romney was perhaps wishing for a fight of "shorter duration" measured in months or years. That is nothing to wish for in my opinion.

Sent by Sherry | 3:37 PM ET | 07-27-2007

my marriage before my cancer was so bad that wished i had cancer to get out of it. Now i wished for (and got) a divorce!

Sent by michael johnson | 3:54 PM ET | 07-27-2007

MS is certainly a horrible disease and my heart goes out to Mrs Romney just as my heart goes out to you, Leroy, every day. And I'd like to say that although I am not in pain, every day when I see myself naked in the mirror, I am reminded that I had breast cancer. Both breasts are gone. That makes me angry!

Sent by Lyn Banghart | 4:06 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I come to this site often not because I am a cancer survivor, but to take from it the valuable life lessons that apply regardless of our particular situations. I must say, however, that today's topic borders on political commentary which will not only serve to alienate a good portion of your audience, but will lessen the impact of your very noble effort.

I admire your work enormously and respectfully suggest that your vitally important message clearly remains above the whirlpool that is partisan politics.

Keep up the good work...its reach extends farther than you may realize.

Sent by Dave | 4:42 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Her comments were insensitive and frankly, unkind. She should be ashamed of herself.

Sent by Kim Barbato | 4:55 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Take a deep breath, Leroy. I am certain Ms. Romney intended no hurt to anyone. MS is VERY hard. You never know if you are going to wake up able to see, move, talk, or not. There is a seeming randomness in it that is at least as unnerving as the things cancer throws at us. And the uncertainty of whether your cognition will be affected, and not knowing if your body will linger for decades and no clear way to even guess what degree of control or quality of life you can anticipate. I can understand while that kind of "life sentence" could leave one longing for more clarity, even if it is the sharper contrast of a time-limited life expectancy. The not knowing how you will wake up day after year after decade is a real anxiety and makes planning life or care or anything very hard, and relatively never-ending. There is something clearer about expecting a shorter timeline with delineated kinds of events that signal certain things along the way. Folks with MS don't necessarily get those roadsigns. Please don't let your anger cost you energy.

Sent by Sarah | 5:01 PM ET | 07-27-2007

A question of resilience?

Leroy said,
After that day(cancer day), your life is never the same...."but its life and its worth living."

On describing her MS, Ann Romney said,
"I thought, 'Couldn't I just get cancer and die?'"

The contrast in the emotional resilience of Leroy and Mrs. Romney is so startling to me.
When something goes wrong do we bounce back or fall apart (the easy way out)?
Leroy's resilience is an inner strength he seems to harness and then he sees past the hardship of cancer and even find enjoyment in his life. A precious moment with a child or "Harry Potter" and one I cherish most he reaches out to others. He also learns from it and then we learn from it. I am strengthen by his resilience every day. I wish you well, Leroy in the adversity of this cancer._Jan DeBerry

Sent by Jan DeBerry | 5:46 PM ET | 07-27-2007

So well put. I have a type cancer that cannot be cured and my doctor's prognosis in May 2006 was that I had three to six months. In my case, up to this point, the mental and emotional anguish have been worse than the physical pain and it has not been helped by those who have never had cancer but tell me that they know just how I feel. It is so good to read something written by someone who does know how I feel.

Sent by Bettie Wolverton | 6:02 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I suppose by this time Mrs. Romney has gotten a flood of mail and will continue to for quite some time. Perhaps one of those who will contact her is Elizabeth Edwards. I hope for all of us there does not develop a debate of my disease is worse than yours, as Vicki said. Mrs. Romney is ignorant about cancer and I invite her to an infusion room, or a hospice, to expand her horizons. If she is going to be First Lady she will have to appeal to many with chronic and terminal diseases among others. Tomorrow I am going to contact the local MS office and find out more about the disease that has stricken some I have known. I am still angry at Leroy and others who have stared at chemo bald women and turned their head in shame when seen - what right do you have to be angry at Mrs. Romney, Leroy? OK, I'm off my soapbox, thanks for listening.

Sent by Ellie Algatt | 6:33 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Maybe if Americans were more educated about what living with cancer is actually like, more tax money would be allocated to finding a cure. I used to joke that doctors should be required to try any drug they prescribe. Maybe lawmakers should only qualify for office if they have experienced cancer up close and personal. Then maybe the tobacco lobby wouldn't be so powerful.

Sent by Elaine | 6:35 PM ET | 07-27-2007

Hello Leroy,
I have been reading your blog for quite some time. I am the caregiver. My husband has the monster, the beast. What you wrote today was so tremendous. My Mother always said that there is always someone else worse off than you....but this is really awful!

Sent by Lisa Blancero | 7:30 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I just read an article in USA Today about Ann Romney - it gives a different perspective on her so in fairness read this:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/2007-07-18-ann-romney_N.htm

I'd like to know if, in fact, she was misquoted or something was taken out of context in the People mag? Possible, right?

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 7:32 PM ET | 07-27-2007

My first thought was that's what you get for subscribing to "People". It's not exactly the place one goes for thoughtful insight. There are different forms of multiple sclerosis just as there are many forms of malignancy. Some are mild and worrisome only in concern that it might recur. Some are quite upredictable with periods of good health punctuated by acute worsening. And sometimes it is straight downhill to death in a brief period. Many chronic diseases are like this. I don't know what the context was of Mrs. Romney's statement. However, I do believe that if you have a debilitating and life threating disease that your spouse consider putting aside his or her consuming ambition. I would say this to Mr. Romney and Mr. Edwards and any others less in the public eye.

As always, I appreciate your thought and sensitivity. It is not easy for any of us who face a diminished future.

Sent by Jay E | 7:52 PM ET | 07-27-2007

My first post. I have been diagnosed with polio since age 3 months and post polio as an adult. Interesting, since my ovarian cancer diagnosis I don't even think about it. The pain and despair I have experienced with cancer is beyond words. It's just not in the same league as the cancer.

Sent by Lucy | 8:39 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I agree with the person who posted to say it's silly to compare or rank diseases. I don't have cancer; I do learn a great deal from your writing and have come to care about your news, both the good and hopeful and the not so great. Sometimes I think it could be important for you to know that people whom you'd never imagine being touched by your writing, in fact ARE touched-- even if we are not struggling with cancer.

Recently I went through the process of ruling out leukemia via flow cytometry because I had been quite ill and had seriously "off" blood-cell test results. I did worry but the outcome was very fortunate; I do not have leukemia. What I do have is unclear, it may be rheumatoid arthritis or it may be some other immune disorder, I am still in the middle of testing. The point is that so many, many of us deal with uncertainty and ambiguity about our health in relatively serious ways. For what I know of your writing I believe that you are generous in spirit; I cannot imagine that you'd think your readers without cancer are *automatically* or *necessarily* in a different category or less insightful about life or suffering or happiness or anything important. (We ARE less insightful about the process of fighting cancer, I am sure.) I feel lucky in my life for many reasons and also I see more commonalities than differences in the community of people who share concerns, worries, and symptoms of diseases that can be very difficult to manage. Good luck to all of us!

Sent by Barbara | 9:08 PM ET | 07-27-2007

In all the words that Scarlet talked about that cancer can do, I can say one more...it brought us all together and what a beautiful place Leroy has created!

Sent by Laurie H. | 11:35 PM ET | 07-27-2007

I so agree with you Leroy about the MS vs. cancer blog about Mrs Rommey. You don't just treat cancer (at least not Acute myeloid Leukemia) and get "all better and back to your old self" Bull@#$$ I suffer everyday with debilitaing side effects of the treatments I've had. She better thank GOD she doesn't have cancer. By the way, I'm only 36 survivor 6 years. If she wants to go through HELL she needs to have a Bone Marrow Transplant! Angelia from Oklahoma

Sent by Angelia Lemons | 12:06 AM ET | 07-28-2007

A shout-out to Jill regarding the wonderful writer Naomi Shihab Nye. I read her poem "The Comfort of Wood" at my father's funeral in 2000. A year later I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer, and someday I'll have someone read it at my own farewell.

My plan was to lurk here, not post, but I gotta say: Brilliant little essay, Scarlett--What Cancer Can Do. How quickly I tired of all the gratitude talk. I too would like to return this "gift" of cancer, as someone upthread said.

An excellent rant, Leroy. Forgiveness is overrated. Remember the film Spartacus? "Hate kept him alive." ;)

Sent by Donna Trussell | 2:39 AM ET | 07-28-2007

Leroy, I read your blog everyday and have always felt so much better after reading it. Not only you but all those who write in have always been so uplifting. I have been away from a computor for a couple of days and could hardly wait to get home to read your blog. For the first time since starting to read your blog I am sad tonight. Jill, thank you, well said. I am really surprised at the anger that is out there among (my?) special support group. The strength I have drawn from so many of you. I also am especially surprised at those that wish to add their political views to this. Well, possibly for some today by being angry it takes some pressure off. Maybe I have just lost the ability at this point to muster up pointless anger as I really need this energy for something to keep me up. My prayers and thoughts with all. Leroy, keep up the good work.

Sent by dorothy | 4:18 AM ET | 07-28-2007

Mr. Sievers,

As a daughter of a beautiful woman who is going home from the hospital today with Hospice Care to live out her days, I can completely relate to your comments and your blog. Mom was the personal caregiver to all in our family affected by cancer. I thought she might be spared from this dreaded affliction. Wishful thinking. Our only solace is that she will meet up with those family members and they will greet her warmly in Heaven, with the same compassion she shared so openly with them. Cancer sucks. Enough said.

Keep on keeping on.

Sent by Penny (Michigan) | 8:09 AM ET | 07-28-2007

Hello Leroy --

I've been a silent but appreciative reader for months now. You've been an invaluable beacon as my mother and I ride the physical and emotional roller coaster of the fight against her small-cell lung cancer.
The other day, in one of the dozen or so waiting rooms that I've begun to call home, I was reading the novel "Life of Pi," and the following passage had particular resonance with me, as I'm sure it would with many others in The Battle. The character in the book is lost at sea in a small boat, and struggles against his hopelessness and fear:

"Life of Pi," Chapter 56, by Yann Martel

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."

Sent by Valerie Tobias | 10:25 AM ET | 07-28-2007

I'm going to go off on a tangent here.

I keep seeing people who say "Leroy, anger is a waste of energy."

No, it's not.

It's what has kept me going and kept me moving for nearly a decade, and it's what drives me to this day.

It's what makes me plan to be an advocate once I'm out of the blackness and despair.

It's what makes me travel to Japan, and England, and France, and all over the US holding memorials for my Terry even though I despise travel.

It's what makes me cry every day and remember the good times we had, and vow to do everything I can to be sure nobody else has to go through this ordeal.

Without my anger--righteous anger, I might add--I may as well lay down and die, because I'd have no use, no point, no purpose.

Don't tell me anger is a waste. For some of us, it's a source of power. I'm angry. I'll stay that way. And I'll like it because it inspires me to make a difference and not sit complacently and say "what is, is."

That's for losers.

Sent by Bruce | 11:18 AM ET | 07-28-2007

First of all I join with Dorothy in not wishing this to become a "political" blog - I'm involved in two of those and believe me, that is plenty! :-)

However, along that line I'd like to comment on Jay's comment above about Mitt Romney and John Edwards putting aside their political ambitions - I don't know about the Romney's but everything I've read on and from the Edwards (Including Elizabeth's beautiful book "Saving Graces") it is her wish, her desire that her husband stay in this race. She says she doesn't want to get ready to die, she wants to "live until she dies" and to that I say a hearty AMEN!

I think those choices are best left to the couples involved. I sure don't like it when outsiders presume to know what's best for me and my family.

And lastly - on Ann Romney's MS - she's in remission and is doing very well - using a combination of traditional and alternative helps - she's actually very healthy at this stage in her life...so anyway I'm still curious about the People article!

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 11:25 AM ET | 07-28-2007

Leroy, Second thoughts about Ms Romney's ignorant statement,Could she have meant that as a snide remeark because Elizabeth Edwards and John have had so much attention from the Media because of her cancer? Like-if I had Cancer instead of MS, my husbands political ambitions would be helped?
Just a thought

Sent by J C Rakowsi | 11:54 AM ET | 07-28-2007

Hi Leroy and Everyone,
I've been out of town and without computer access a few days. Guess this topic has been exhausted, but I just have to add my two cents' worth. I'd say cancer is neither the greater nor the lesser evil. After all, how can you gauge another person's suffering? Comparisons are only possible if you've experienced more than one disease yourself -- or maybe dealt with them up close, within your own family. I've often thought that for me, so far at least, cancer has been more about mental and emotional suffering than physical pain. As hard as that has been, I'd say cancer is easier to bear than mental illness, which steals the person you know and love and leaves a stranger in his or her place. In contrast, the people I know who have cancer are still essentially themselves. In fact, they are often better than their old pre-cancer selves. They can communicate beautifully and think and relate deeply. When my loved ones had Alzheimer's Disease and/or bipolar disorder and/or addiction and/or panic disorder, it was almost as if they had disappeared or died.(Fortunately, in some cases at least, the right medication has brought them back.)

Awhile back, someone posted a poem on this blog called "Kindness" by a Palestinian woman. I put it on our refrigerator and reread it often. The gist of it is that only those who have known suffering can really know kindness. Let's be kind to each other and not try to differentiate between degrees of suffering. And let's forgive Ann Romney for her ignorance.

Sent by Doris | 12:15 PM ET | 07-28-2007

Thank you for your always insightful posts. I have forwarded this one to the Romney campaign. Food for thought. We have a woman in our support group with both lung cancer & MS....both of them have a signficant negative impact on her quality of life. There's no reason for comparison. Thanks for pointing that out so eloquently.

Sent by Karen Parles | 12:47 PM ET | 07-28-2007

Does anyone get the feeling that the reason for insensitive comments--and we've all heard 'em--is because people who don't have cancer put patients in the category of The Other, as in: Thank goodness I'm not her! Is this some kind of mental/emotional segregation?

If so, it could be hardwired. Our ancestors probably distanced themselves from sick people, an instinct that would provide some protection from contagious diseases. Today we know cancer is not contagious, but the instinct remains. That's no excuse, of course. Rape is instinctive too, but civilized society does not condone rape. Comments that isolate cancer patients (not to mention blame them for their plight) should likewise be condemned.

They say you should be careful what you fail to empathize with, because whatever it is will happen to you. Those who think they'll never get cancer because they do yoga, eat organic, think positive, don't smoke...whatever...should spend some time in a cancer chat room. What I've learned since my diagnosis is that cancer can hit anyone at any age with any family history and any health habits.

Sent by Donna Trussell | 1:18 PM ET | 07-28-2007

What Mrs. Romney fails to realize is that not knowing is worse than knowing.

She knows exactly what course her disease will take, if not the precise time line. She has a limited, but definite future. Cancer patients, on the other hand, have nothing but uncertainty. We could be dead in weeks, we could live for decades. We vacillate between hope and despair, never completely accepting either.

It is the mental, emotional struggle that makes cancer so terrifying, and the uncertainty inherent in the disease is the source of that struggle. How often have you wished, regardless of the answer, to simply know?

Yes, her statement is ignorant, even naive, and certainly reflects a deep lack of understanding and empathy. If only no one knew what we know, if only our outrage were unjustified.

Sent by Hans Lipke | 2:05 PM ET | 07-28-2007

Wow. I know she's ill and I probably shouldn't judge her, but what a lousy thing to say. :(

Sent by Lisa Lindstrom | 4:53 PM ET | 07-28-2007

No we can't compare disease or suffering. However I have this to say to Ms. Romney: however much you have sufferd you have lived to see your children grow up, get married and give you grandkids. Your children grew up with a mother. I and my children (ages 7,9 and 11) will not have those opportunities. I will not grow old with my husband nor will I see him reach for the stars. My 76 year old father will out live his only child. It is doubtful that we will have another Christmas together.

Even though I only have cancer, I walk with a cane, have a handicapped license plate all thanks to chemotherapy. I have pain that even morphine doesn't control. I spent 2-3 9 hour days in the infusion room every week. And today I celebrate the last birthday of my kids that I will be at.

So given everything... give me MS. At least in the form you have; it seems a better deal. Also you should be sensitive enough to know that your wealth and connections open up doors that many people do not have. You have access to the best medical minds, equipment and medicine. You have the means to hire any help that you might need.

A woman of your caliber should also have been more sensitive to Elizabeth Edwards. She too will, in all likely- hood. leave young motherless children behind.

It's not a competion but you might be better off channeling your self-pity into national forum and discussion that will lead to more research for all debillitating diseases, affordable drugs and healthcare for all!

Sent by holly (MA) | 7:22 PM ET | 07-28-2007

Boy, the power of the written word and this media! Did you expect such a response to your last blog? Over 100 threads!
Well, I would much rather hear how you are doing Leroy, and when your next treatment is scheduled. My brother in law's will be this Wednesday and his two vertebrea will be "glued". Sure hope it helps, he is in tremendous pain!
Enough of political nastiness!

Sent by J C Rakowski | 2:54 PM ET | 07-29-2007

I can understand your anger. Cancer makes me angry...I am a survivor of almost four years. As human beings we are clueless about one another and caught up in our own stuff; so as a result we forget about everyone around us. How much pain must Mrs. Romney be in to make such a statement? I know how much pain I was in and the residual pain the follows treatment...the pain of waiting to hear from my doctor that my cancer is back...you see my doctor did not expect me to go into remission. Thank you for your honesty with your feelings.

Sent by Xathena Carter | 4:45 PM ET | 07-29-2007

I guess all has pretty much been said about this essay, and we should put it to rest. However, I came across this description of the Ann Romney interview and just have to share:
http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/news/Dec2002/AnnRomney.html
Looks like she wasn't misquoted in People Magazine.

Sent by Sandra Shuler | 8:17 PM ET | 07-29-2007

Leroy,

I just watched the documentary that has been sitting on my DVR for over a month now. I just wanted you to know that for me, as a person who is extremely awkward about communicating with someone who is dealing with something very serious in life your perspective has really helped me better deal with such situations, and has really allowed me to see things from their shoes, instead of focusing on my own discomfort. For that, and your amazing talent, I truly thank you.

I intend to backtrack and read your entire blog, and will pass this blog onto loved ones, a few who are cancer survivors and will really benefit from hearing your daily thoughts.

Thank you again and keep writing!

Sent by Mike | 8:41 PM ET | 07-29-2007

I think this is simply another hurtful remark borne of ignorance about cancer. Who among us has not been stung by hurtful ignorant remarks by colleagues, family, friends? They seem to see a cancer diagnosis as either a death sentence or no big deal, "they can cure most cancers now, can't they?" If you survive the acute event, the first round of treatment, the assumption is that it is over. Few understand that it is never over. You all know what I mean. Many see the diagnosis only in terms of how it affects, or would affect, them; "This is going to spoil our holidays;" "IF IT WERE ME, I would undergo ANY treatment to prolong MY life."

With friends and family, with the few with whom I have been honest about my fear, or my side effects, or the grim statistics, I have mostly lost those friendships, or heard "get over it," or been told to "focus on the positive." To talk honestly about the difficulties of LIVING with cancer is, apparently, to be a whiner. Virtually no honest discussion, such as what occurs on this blog. They just don't want to deal with it.

At work, the disconnect is even more severe. An employee with cancer is a "burden" to the bottom line, so the employee with cancer does everything possible to hide or downplay the difficulties of LIVING with cancer. A few simple, short-term accommodations might be all that is needed, but the threat of losing an income and health insurance during a cancer crisis keep cancer patients from talking honestly with their employers about their conditions.

So, how to get honest information out to the public at large? I invite suggestions. The downside of trying to have those converations, in either professional or personal lives, is just too great. And the net result is the attitude expressed by Ms. Romney.

Sent by tex | 9:59 PM ET | 07-29-2007

I came across your blog while doing research and immediately wished I had found it earlier.... My father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in May and died in June. This was my first experience with cancer. You know, the breast cancer commercials with all the survivor stories will make you believe that more people win the battle than lose, or at the least that the battle is a lengthy process. I have learned firsthand that fallacy of television advertisements. Cancer robs and steals. My father golfed 18 holes the day before he was hospitalized from a seizure (which led to his diagnosis of metastatic cancer). Every day that followed showed me how cancer changes a person -- Nothing can prepare you for this. I didn't get to say goodbye; my father was not that man lying in the hospital bed being eaten alive by cancer.

Evidently, Mrs. Romney has bought into the commercial cancer and,fortunately for her, has not dealt with the reality of it.

Sent by Natalie | 11:52 PM ET | 07-29-2007

Hi, I'm an oncology nurse and I also worked in rehab/brain injury prior to oncology. I have worked in infusion rooms, inpatient and bone marrow transplant. I just found your blog from the npr site.

I can't speak for Mrs. Romney. I have seen all kinds of horrible diseases including MS, Lupus, AIDS, of course the many diseases cancer is and met the people they have taken. I lost my father to lung cancer. My grandmother with Alzheimers, my husband's grandmother to diabetes and heart failure, his other grandmother to Parkinson's disease. I have also met families with their lives irrevocably altered from traumatic injuries of their loved ones.

There is no one upmanship in suffering. There is no "better" when it comes to the person directly receiving the pain and treatments. I know a 23 year old who is dying of Cystic Fibrosis, literally fighting for a breath all the time. He has decided against transplant as he is tired of fighting, tired of hospitals.

When people suffer and are afraid they say all kinds of insensitive things. They are mean to the people they love most, the people trying to help them. No matter who they are and what they do, at essence they are a human being who is hurt and scared.

I learned quick not to take people at their words, but by their actions, the quality of their relationships. I could then truly know who they are and feel privileged to know them and to have their trust. That is the only thing that keeps me working in a field where my heart is broken every week.

Sent by Kathy | 8:11 AM ET | 07-30-2007

I agree that Ms. Romney's comment is unknowing but severe illness is severe illness...suffering follows. My wife is battling, for now to a standstill, thank God, stage IV lung cancer and her struggles are beyond difficult. However, her mother died of MS many years ago and the pain with which she speaks about her mother's death leaves no doubt that MS can be a beast as well.

Today, I want to especially thank Valerie Tobias for the excerpt on the topic of fear that she provided from the "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. I will share it today with my wife whose struggles with fear over her disease spreading to other parts of her body have been as debilitating as her struggles with the physical manifestations of her disease. The author speaks so well of the things that fear robs from us and I know it will be a comfort to the one that I love.

Peace to all those who suffer.

Sent by Tim Broussard | 11:53 AM ET | 07-30-2007

Ah, Tex...our stories are so intertwined. I'm currently on my FMLA leave from work. I did take 10 weeks earlier this year for the birth of my daughter and for a second surgery to remove my remaining thyroid. Thus far, I have just had to undergo a few "insensitive" comments from supervisors. "You're not going to be out for a month, are you?" came from my boss' boss. Now this was after I had sent him and my direct supervisor a detailed list of my upcoming treatment back in March. Instead of trying to cover their department in the four months they've known I'll be gone, they wait until the week before to make sure I, and I place an emphasis on "I" have all my bases covered. Does it ever occur to employers that the diagnosis of cancer is mindblowing, heartbreaking, breathtaking??? Now, don't get me wrong, I'm lucky to have my job (health insurance), but I also know that if something were to go from bad to worse, I'd be without a job. Do they (employers) think that we chose this path...that we chose this disease. I feel that way today. I feel like being away from work is a burden on them. Perhaps, I just want them to know how much of a burden going into work is somedays, not everyday, but somedays. Of course, now that my FMLA, vacation, and sick time are gone, they've got me right where they want me...I know it, I'm stuck and I better come through this treatment clean or else... Oh, how I hope and pray and wish it is that easy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and my mind open. As always, prayer and hugs to all...with love!

Sent by Tess from KY | 12:04 PM ET | 07-30-2007

Word to Natalie about the TV commercials. These eager patients can't wait to begin chemotherapy! If chemo was that much fun, dealers would be selling it on the black market.

These ads imply that beating cancer is simply a matter of determination and using the drug company's magic potion. Wrong! (as many on this forum can attest)

Another analogy I've heard again and again is that cancer patients are like diabetes patients: "They'd be dead in a week if they didn't get their insulin." But cancer mutates. Whatever cells survive the first round of chemo are by definition chemo-resistant. If the patient has an abdominal cancer, radiation is usually not an option.

So how do you kill chemo-resistant cancer? You start blazing away with an arsenal of poisons and hope for a hit. Even that bleak scenario is better than the one facing unlucky patients whose cancer did not respond to first-line chemo.

The public at large seems blissfully unaware that many cancers have no known cause and no early-warning screening tests. I've talked to women with Master's degrees who thought a pap smear tested for ovarian cancer!

Perhaps if people understood the threat to themselves and their loved ones, they'd be more interested in research for better treatments and screening tests for all cancers, not just a few.

Sent by Donna Trussell | 2:52 PM ET | 07-30-2007

My friend Leroy,

Let me first say that you have my deepest sypathies and respect. Thank you for the brave way you are charting the course that many of us will take ourselves at some point in the future.

You state that you don't know much about MS. Let me tell you that, after my first-hand education in the aweful hell that is MS, I can understand Mrs. Romney's reaction. Cancer has its survivors, MS has none. Cancer has its operations, MS has a slow, deliberate, maddening slide toward death.

Cancer hurts, and I would dare not attempt to take away the dread one feels upon its prognosis. MS is painful, too, even though there is great difference. Every day, every month, every year there is further evidence of the irrevocable downhill slide into maddening incapability. Perhaps the worst aspect is that the mind is left perfectly untouched, capable of recognizing every discouraging loss of mobility and independence.

The end of MS is dreadful. Usually following an interminable stay in a rest home, often far removed from the comforts of home and family, reliant upon strangers for every embarrassing personal need, the victim of MS finally succumbs to the disease. In all too many cases the heart and soul have long since been vanquished, leaving the opaque husk of humanity to while away the years.

May God bless you Leroy, if you so desire. May God bless Mrs. Romney. You are both heroes to me...it's unfortunate that you did not recognize some of your own pain in her words.

In loving memory of Shirley Ann Akers.

Sent by Robert Akers | 9:36 PM ET | 07-30-2007

I am simply aghast at her comment Leroy. Cancer, like any other chronic, debilitating disease, is horrific. Affecting not only the patient, but the family and loved ones.. it has tentacles like no other..clutching everything in it's path.

MS, Parkinsons, Alzheimers, and other horrible diseases are also horrific.

Ugh.

This blog is 'teaching' those who don't have the disease a little more insight (yes, including me), and hence I am utterly grateful for it.

Thank you for being a teacher Leroy....to me, and hopefully to others as well.

--Krupali

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 10:06 PM ET | 07-30-2007

Funny, after my diagnosis I thought and said to my mom, "thank goodness it isn't MS". Then a friend of mine was diagnosed with MS. She struggles daily with physical limitations. While my life seems 'normal'.

I love the quote "Be Kind, for everyone is figthing a Battle".

Sent by Janis | 11:20 PM ET | 07-30-2007

Dear Leroy,
After Googling Mrs. Romney, I learned that she had served on the Women's Cancer Advisory Boatd at Mass General Hospital! So insensitive! She is a jerk -- no other way to describe it.

Sent by Kathy Hope | 5:50 AM ET | 07-31-2007

Ann was speaking about a time when she was going through a deep depression. if you read that actual interview in People magazine. Depression is very common among those with MS. The Depression can be caused by many things, one of which it can be caused by the MS itself, because of the damage done to the brain. also, many of the MS meds can have Depression as a side effect. What Ann had said, was from the deep depression she had a few years ago. She was honest about what she was going through. I'm thankful for that. Being that the suicide rate is higher among those with MS than average, I think what she said can/could help others living with MS. there is NO SHAME with Depression. If someone is living with it, they need to be open about it and talk to their doctors.

Sent by THill | 8:38 AM ET | 08-01-2007

Many posters have commented on how one shouldn't compare diseases. Perhaps that's true, but it wasn't a cancer patient who began the comparing. It was an MS patient who implied her fate was worse.

Others have said they appreciate Romney's candor. I too appreciate candor, but an honest comment can also be an offensive one. If Romney was as well-meaning as some have suggested, then we should soon hear a heart-felt apology.

Well-meaning people are always sorry to have caused hurt and quick to apologize. Have I missed the apology? So far all I've seen is a spokesperson issuing an excuse. No apology yet, and nothing directly from Romney herself.

But I'll bet the apology is coming. Any minute now. She must be trying to word the apology just right. Perhaps she's running the first draft past some associates? I'm sure the delay is caused only by her sincere desire to properly make amends. ;)

Sent by Donna Trussell | 10:15 AM ET | 08-01-2007

By your own admission you were only scanning the article, therefore what you saw wasn???t taken in the context of the whole point she was making.

And when you quote the line here you???re not being fair ... you???re not giving the full context of the paragraph in which it is mentioned ??? which is that it was a thought she had when she was at her darkest point during the initial diagnosis. Not something that she still feels today or has felt since that time.

As someone who???s dealt with coming to terms with a difficult diagnosis I???m sure there were times when your thoughts if published in a magazine would have seem outrageous to other people. Give her the courtesy of understanding where she was in her journey when she had that thought.

I admire her for being honest and not trying to white wash her feelings as so many in the political world feel they need to do in order to appeal to the masses and not scare people off.

Sent by Melissa | 5:13 PM ET | 08-01-2007

I have cancer--thyroid (the good kind as I have been told several times, by people who have not had all the lymph nodes in their neck removed and who have not had to swallow large amounts of radiation), and I probably have MS (it takes quite a few brain MRIs over months to confirm the diagnosis). I wouldn't wish either on anyone, and I can't imagine wanting one over the other. People say strange things sometimes.

Sent by Cath | 9:37 PM ET | 08-01-2007

Cath

If I may ask...what type of thyroid cancer? Papillary, follicular, Medullary, Anaplastic??? I have Hurthle cell, a variant of follicular. I have had a hard time finding someone to relate to and just read your post and I'm currently getting ready to go into the hospital for my first round of treatments...hopefully the first of only a few. I have so many questions and thoughts running through my head...I wish I had someone I could talk to sometimes...someone who has experienced this disease. I too, have been told that I have a "good" type of cancer...WHAT...there is not a good cancer. It all causes despair, grief and heartache. Just b/c I don't have to undergo chemo does not mean that my disease is "good". I would love to be in contact...here's my email:

tdockery@duotel.com

If you feel like you can, I'd like to be in contact and get some of these thoughts out of my head and some questions answered. I'm going into the hospital tomorrow, 8-8-07, and as you know, I'll be in isolation, but after that I'll be checking the blog! Just email if you can!

Sent by t | 3:21 PM ET | 08-07-2007

For me her remarks bring back the way it use to be about cancer. The old stigma you get it and you die.
Not so all the time and we are lucky if its not.
What angers me is this. As a long time survivor..and I do not consider myself one to have a victims mentality. If I listed everything that happened to me in all the time I survived. It would make some shutter and want to be dead.
Having had a horrible prognoisis of three months, I live daily with a terminal cancer that will in the end get me. So how is that easier then some of these other diseases. I for one won't compare. Who has what..cause the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence.
Her remark angers me..cause so many think cancer is a death sentence. In someways yes. For some yes.
For those of us the lucky of the unlucky who deal with hardships and handicaps daily its hard.
But the worst handicap one can have is bad attitude. Thats what I see coming from her.
As angry as it makes me for one second I would like her to be me for one day and understand what its like to survivor as I have been. Then say its easier.
From the start I didn't want to die. Even now thats not whats happening at this point.
So I think she is mis guided in her thoughts on cancer. I just won't waste my energy on it anymore.

I wasn't voting for him to begin with but I think she really did some damage by the remarks made.

Sent by Kerry | 8:57 PM ET | 08-08-2007

When it comes down to it, I'd prefer to have a cold rather than a brain tumor, but I guess it really doesn't matter. Like any of us dealing with disease had a menu in front of us and decided on the "cancer" over the equally delectible MS, cystic fibrosis, HIV, etc. It doesn't appear to be worth getting angry about as our energy can be used more wisely.

Sent by john | 1:41 PM ET | 08-12-2007

Having been diagnosed this year with debilitating trigeminal neuralgia (called the sucicide because it is thought to be the most painful condition known to man), I understand where Ann Romney is coming from in her remark. When your condition is debilitating and accompanied by severe depression but it is NOT understood like cancer is, things can get very difficult, especially with regard to one's relationships with others. You face a lifetime of excruciating pain which can only be medically managed to a certain extent. You know you may lose your faculties, mental or physical, at any point -- but people who do not suffer misunderstand the extent of the pain and the real limitations it puts on you. The accompanying depression is hard to treat because of the drug interactions. It is not easy to live with and not easy to explain to peoople who have no context to understand what is going on.

A friend and co-worker who is a cancer survivor (we are both 35) has watched my pain and after seeing what it does to my life day in day out, she said she would take living with cancer any day.

All chronic diseases are difficult to cope with -- the point here is that when you get a diagnosis that is not mainsream and will cause you decades of debilitiating pain, you wonder why you couldn;t have something simple th