Cheesesteak anyone?

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 7:24 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Again, you being the boulder,Sisyphus will take another breating this week.

Sent by Scott Fertig | 7:36 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Here's wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.
The Kinks

Wishing you strength and peace in the days ahead.

Sent by Barbara | 7:48 AM ET | 08-07-2007

How about the term "human scrapbooking"?

It's true, one the pain the necks of doing procedures is the coffee is always the first thing to go! I always whine about the no coffee thing. Not only is cruel to deny a coffee drinker, it has real withdrawal effects, like one doozy headache. I usually mention to please put some coffee like substance in the IV. I have no idea if such a thing exists. But I definitely dislike holdin' out on the coffee.

Good luck tomorrow, I hope it goes as comfortably as it can, and you recover quickly with no problems. You can be sure we will all be there with you.

Sent by Pika | 8:00 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy, in thinking about all the procedures you're going to be having today and tomorrow, it strikes me how willing we all are to go through something(almost anything) to procure our futures, and how willing the medical folks are to practice their trade on us. I wonder sometimes when the "practicing" will be done and they will actually be CERTAIN that something they do will cure what we have.

I think everyone who goes through ANY of these treatments - most with less than 100% guarantee of an ironclad positive outcome - deserve a big KUDOS. It's because of people like you, who are willing to subject your body to all kinds of new procedures and to keep on trying, that one day there just might be that 100% cure.

If my cancer returns, I know that I will go back to the drawing board, and submit my body to more drugs, more radiation, more surgery - not just because I want to live a long life, but because just in case I don't, I will hopefully have provided the doctors a little more information to go on for the next patient behind me.

Anyone who's dealt with cancer of any kind is a hero in my mind. We are all contributing to the whole of hopefully making this disease fade away.

Holding you in my thoughts & prayers today and tomorrow,
Martha

Sent by Martha in FL | 8:04 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good Morning Leroy,

You throw those medical terms around like a pro. If you decide on a career change, being a technical consultant on a TV medical show may the be ticket. Ok, all kidding aside. You have busy week ahead of you.

Good luck for the rest of the week and for always. I know we are all pulling for you!

Sent by Susan Chap | 8:06 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy no coffee in the AM is torture and the "mood" thing is a given.Perhaps with all the drugs, they might start a caffeine drip. Take care and I will say a prayer/intention that all will occur without any adverse effects. The spine tumors can wait another day. Thinking of you. Pat

Sent by Pat Zalewski | 8:09 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Thinking good thoughts that everything sticks, fries, and shivers. New experiences - gotta love them! I remember reading something when I was in college about not focusing on just collecting experiences but making them count for something. May all of these count for that extra time we all want. Peace, Dona

Sent by Dona | 8:09 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy, I'll be thinking of you over the next few days and wish you the best. You DO sound tired, as you said you were yesterday. I hope knowing that those of us who follow your blog (including, I'm sure, many people who never post) will be rooting for you will help. Keep your chin up.

Sent by Leslie | 8:16 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy

Ahhhhh....better living through chemistry! Hope all goes well, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Patricia A | 8:17 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,

Good luck tomorrow. I am sure there will be a collective crossing of fingers and prayers that all goes well. I think of you and everyone else on this blog daily.

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:21 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Glued, burned and frozen. Oh my.

Praying things will go as quickly and smoothly as possible and that you don't suffer too much without the java.

Hey...does this mean a cheese steak or something like that?

Prayin' for ya,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 8:22 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy-

Good luck over the next few days. We'll all be thinking of you.

PS- I haven't had coffee in over 10 years. :)

Sent by Elizabeth from Brooklyn | 8:24 AM ET | 08-07-2007

I have been poisoned and slashed but not burned yet. You are getting the "works". Best to you - hope it makes you feel better. I also hate going without my coffee but the drugs usually make up for it. Here's where your braveness shines by being willing to experience these new procedures and maybe besides helping yourself helping others down the line. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 8:44 AM ET | 08-07-2007

I am thinking and praying for you today. I am sensing your struggle with the battle. Good luck today and I hope as Nancy mentioned you have a great cheesesteak on the way home from the hospital.

Sent by Melissa Thompson | 8:44 AM ET | 08-07-2007

If you can grab a guided meditation cd for your surgery and before, i highly recommend it, i used it for my surgery and it helped relax me and i woke up feeling alert and really good.

I really hope all goes well the next few days leroy

jenn

Sent by Jenn | 8:45 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Hi Leroy and all ???

Procedures as, they call them are a drag ??? but from what I???ve read, ???the glue thing??? is likely to have real benefits ??? but two days of relative nastiness with all they???ll be putting you through ??? ughhh. Like others my thoughts and prayers are with you ??? and with all the others whom I don???t know who will be undergoing cancer surgeries, etc. tomorrow and Thursday. You give a great deal of strength and support to others just by sharing what you are going through and how you feel about it. Many don???t have other ways of being shared with, sharing and sharing their own stories, all of which are tremendously important when you???re being isolated and in the dark by cancer and similar diseases.

As for myself I am just back from a largely Internetless vacation in the North Woods. it was quiet and lovely. I hope that all of you can experience something similar.

Keep on keeping on ??? you are helping many live their lives more fully

Vaya con Dios

John Shippee

Sent by John Shippee | 9:20 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,

I'll keep you in my prayers. Don't let the bastard win!

Bob

Sent by Bob Brandenburg | 9:20 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good luck Leroy...thinking of you. Krupali

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 9:25 AM ET | 08-07-2007

I will be thinking of you tomorrow - good luck and God Bless --- give the cancer hell!!

Sent by Patti B. | 9:25 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy -
Your week sounds like it is going to suh-uck. Good luck my man.

Sent by Tim | 9:32 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Dark chocolate therapy comes next!

Sent by Dan | 9:35 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you throughout this battle. It's so important to know that we're out here rooting for you!

Take good care,
Wendy

Sent by Wendy Murphey | 9:37 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Hey Leroy,

If you have the time and the ability to email me a response I would appreciate it-or input from anyone else. I have been inquiring with my husbands Drs about RF Ablation for his stage IV prostate cancer. They tell me that he is not a candidate for RF Ablation - im not exactly sure why except I think it because his prostate is just a whole bunch of tumors not just one - but that perhaps he would be a candidate for something called HIFU (high freq ultrasound) but that they would not consider it until they have seen his response from systemic treatment (chemo). Am I remembering correctly that this is pretty much what you went through? No additional procedures until chemo is done? Is this standard that we dont do anything else until we see how one thing is working? I hate sitting here and waiting because he has had complications that if we had moved sooner, he would not have had and it freaks me out to think we could be doing something now to avoid additional complications.

Thanks for any info to anyone....

Sent by Sarah Senter | 9:42 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy & all -

As Leslie indicated, I am one of those (previously) silent readers who have been rooting for you. Leroy, my thoughts and prayers will continue to be with you in the difficult days ahead.

Cancer has been a journey various members of my immediate and extended family has taken ever since I was a very young child. My first memory is that of a great Aunt, who upon a recurrence of her cancer valiantly pursued all the available experimental treatments at the time (1960's/early 70's) in hopes of providing better treatment and information for future cancer patients. She knew the treatments might extend her life for a time, but not the quality of her life. We???ve come a long way in that area but we have a long way to go as well! Her spirit, stubbornness, humor, struggle and openness come to mind as I see similar traits in you Leroy, as well as many of those who post on this blog.

We've had many varieties of cancer represented in our family tree so we have walked this road many times. I began reading your post this past winter when I was struggling in how to support my sister through her journey with BC. I have found in reflecting on the various postings that I have been an inconsistent friend to even my own family members as they have walked this road. Through my readings of Leroy???s posts and those of you who have shared your journey, know that you are making a difference in my life and in the lives of my family and friends who walk this journey with you.

Brenda ??? Fort Wayne, IN

Sent by Brenda | 9:43 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Thinking of you today and tomorrow, Leroy. May it all go well.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 9:46 AM ET | 08-07-2007

I can tell you what to expect.

A short paper shirt that makes you feel like your the catch of the day.

Then you get to go home. And you can have ice cream.

Good Luck.

Sent by Brit | 9:48 AM ET | 08-07-2007

You have a legend of e mail friends....we are ALL holding you close in a cyber hug. Keep Breathing!

Sent by Beth | 9:48 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary Pat

Sent by Mary Pat | 9:51 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Hey Leroy,

No coffee. That's downright inhumane. That's almost worse than the procedures. That was the one thing I missed during and for about 6months after my treatment. I couldn't taste much, still can't really, but I can now taste my coffee. I am told it is one heck of a lot stronger than it used to be, but it's all good.

I want to wish you luck tomorrow, you are definitely going to be in my thoughts. The body is an amazing thing, you'll do well and recover quickly.

Stay safe, stay strong,
Lance

Sent by Lance Carlson | 9:53 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good luck, Leroy. I'll be thinking about you and sending you lots of "good vibes".

Sent by Linda | 9:58 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good luck, Leroy! Hallelujah for drugs!

Sent by Tammy | 9:58 AM ET | 08-07-2007

We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. We wish you the best and know all will be well.

Just think how good that next coffee will taste!

Sent by Ann | 10:00 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy - Your my hero! You make me smile, laugh, feel sad, cry - but most of all you make me think - you think and write my thoughts. I'm with you every step of the way. Fight the good fight - you go guy!!

Sent by Dorothy Martinelli | 10:02 AM ET | 08-07-2007

No wonder you compared the cancer to Sisyphus yesterday. What a big week you have. I hope it all goes well for you.

Today I see the Doc about the nagging pain in the side of my back. I'm a little anxious about it, but if you can do it, so can I.

Good luck to you Leroy.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:03 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

Remembering the connectedness thing...we will be sending you love at
7am EST. _Jan

Sent by Jan DeBerry | 10:06 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,

I don't know whether you are getting the "full monte", "the trifecta" or "the whole enchilda" but regardless, I am wishing you only the best always. I remember for almost a year after radiation to the throat how bad coffee tasted yet I still wondered to the nearest Bagel Brothers to read the newspaper and have a mocha latte after I dropped my youngest off at middle school. I was determined to get up early and try to make a day out of it. As bad as I missed the taste of coffee and considering everything tasted like cardboard for many months, I just sat back, sipping the coffee and reminiscing how it used to taste. That was good enough at the time. (Even worse yet, chocolate still tastes like cardboard almost 4 years later!)

May your drugs sustain you; may your memories never fade, my friend. Here's to mai tais in Hawaii, sitting on the beach talking story and slowly savoring a hot cheesesteak!

I only wish I had some address to send you a very special treat, assuming you also like lattes.

Best wishes always,

Ed

Sent by Ed Brown | 10:13 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy, they do have caffine IV! They give it to the tiny babies in NICU to help them along in their "growing"....sneak by the NICU and grab some!!
Good luck and God Bless you and yours

Sent by Karen | 10:14 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy, Good luck to you and best wishes for clear skies and a safe harbor once you are through threse uncharted seas.

Sent by Susan M | 10:15 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the best as you go through these procedures.

Your not getting coffee the morning of your vertebroplasty reminds me of when I had my lumpectomy scheduled at about noon, and I couldn't have any coffee. I was supposed to have a needle loc done that morning before the operation. I was stuck in the mammogram machine while the radiologist was trying to find the spot for the needle loc. Throughout all of it, I had a caffeine headache. It's pretty funny now that I look back on it,but I definitely wasn't having a good morning then.

My best to you.

Cristina Trapani-Scott, Michigan

Sent by Cristina Trapani-Scott, Michign | 10:22 AM ET | 08-07-2007

God Bless you Leroy for helping the medical professionals try to improve on their techniques. Here's hoping your week is a good one and this will be a huge success. We are all on your side and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Love and Luck, Teresa in WV

Sent by Teresa | 10:22 AM ET | 08-07-2007

I will say a BIG prayer for you tonight that all goes as planned. Be brave. Tell them when they are done with you, to have 2 cups of coffee waiting.

Sent by Ruth White | 10:28 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good morning Leroy. I will be sending lots of positive energy during your procedure tomorrow. Take care of you. By the way, my grandmother always believed chicken soup cures just about everything. Have a huge bowl~~it'll make you feel better, I promise : )

Sent by Robin | 10:36 AM ET | 08-07-2007

I don't write here often, but I think of you and your struggles daily. Good luck with everything, Leroy. Your strength and your attitude are amazing.
Jeanmarie

Sent by Jeanmarie Morgan | 10:37 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,
I don't often write, but I wanted to let you know, along with the others who read your blog, that I will be thinking only good thoughts for you tomorrow. You are a source of strength for us so let us be a source of strength for you.
Natalie

Sent by Natalie Margolis | 10:45 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Human scrapbooking! Brilliant! And Dear Compatriot Leroy, You've been in battle zones before, and lived through many challenges. This week's procedures are just new entries for your c.v., and new territory for one so clearly born to explore and report from the front. Will be holding you in care and energy!

Sent by Sarah | 10:51 AM ET | 08-07-2007

P.S. With this week's new medical adventures, you may be entering the realm of becoming a performance art piece -- more kinetic than a human scrapbook!

Sent by Sarah | 10:53 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Being glued, burned, and frozen doesn't sound like a good day but here's hoping for the best you can make out of it!! Keep a smile on your face Leroy....... even if it's drug induced!!

Sent by Pat Beach | 11:02 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Best of luck Leroy

Sent by Irene | 11:11 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Had 2 cups this morning...1 for me and 1 for you ! Kick ass my friend !

Like a bad weed, they keep spraying Roundup on us...and we keep coming back! Guess ya really can't kill bad grass! haha
Love you all who live with me in cancerworld.
Liz

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 11:18 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good luck. I gave up coffee and am now addicted to Diet Coke! Now I am going to try to give that up (after the recent news about carbonated drinks and obesity). Eek!

Sent by mt | 11:19 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Here's hoping all those good drugs will keep you pain free in the next few days, and you'll have sweet, sweet dreams while all the slashing, burning and freezing are going on. And after that? Hey, you don't know -- maybe the remaining tumors will be so traumatized by it all that they'll just shrivel up and die!

You're the Man, Leroy. So many people are wishing you well tomorrow. Can you feel all the love flowing your way?

Sent by Doris | 11:23 AM ET | 08-07-2007

You are in my thoughts and esp. will be tomorrow and Th. Your strength carries so many of us, now it is our turn to lift for you.
Barbara

Sent by Barbara Langan | 11:23 AM ET | 08-07-2007

You have such a way with words that makes me laugh. "Glued, burned and frozen". You are a comic and don't know it. Please pray for my sister who is about to lose her battle with cancer. This will be my third family member this year I have lost. Thank you for making me smile Leroy.

Sent by DiAnn | 11:23 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,

Reminds me of the scene in the movie Airplane! When Elaine (Julie Hagerty) emerges from the cockpit and explains to the passengers everything that is wrong with the plane. Everyone sits calmly through the explanation until she announces they are out of coffee!

I'll be thinking of you and pray for you as you go through these procedures. Since you will be coffee free please take it easy on medical team.

-Randy

Sent by Randy Jeffries | 11:33 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Chocolate, the answer to everything? Take care of yourself.

Sent by Jenene Koegel | 11:34 AM ET | 08-07-2007

My heart aches as I read your last few blogs. I think about you everyday. Good luck tomorrow.

Sent by grace | 11:36 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Will be thinking positive thoughts all the way from Seattle. They have a lot of room to gather intensity between here and there, so by the time they get to you (I think I'll need to start thinking around 3 AM), they should be damn potent!

Carol

Sent by Carol Snider | 11:40 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Ditto all the good wishes others have posted. Add my prayers for positive outcomes. Stay tough!

Sent by Sara (MD) | 11:41 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Good Luck Leroy!! I was thinking I had a bad day tomorrow, but all I am having done is a bone marrow biopsy to check the progression of my myeloproliferative disease. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you good luck...

Thank you for starting this blog, it has really helped me since I was diagnosed with my "Beast". Knowing that there are others who are going through the same sort of thing and feelings has made it not feel so lonely.

Sent by Brad Bowman | 11:47 AM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,
I read you everyday. I am no morning lark either, but I gave up my morning coffee many years ago when the caffeine started to bother me. I will, however, have a decaf iced coffee in your name with my lunch, right now! You know there will be a lot of karmic energy coming your way from all of us here.

Sent by Dianne | 12:01 PM ET | 08-07-2007

May your your recovery be quick -- with many, many beads to come and keeping Sisyphus at work at the bottom of the slope! Very best thoughts!

Sent by Marcia | 12:07 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Good luck tomorrow - I'll be thinking of you.
Hope all goes well!

Cory

Sent by Cory | 12:15 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dark Chocolate Snickers perhaps?

Someone once told me survivor did not sound like much more than treading water, they thought that I should have a more positive word. Ha, what do they know, give me a survivor any day. I just got back from RAGBRAI- the (Des Moines) Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa- American Cancer Society fielded a team of survivors, caregivers, volunteers and staff to raise awareness of all things cancer. We rode 477 miles across Iowa in late July heat and humidity and our survivors were such an inspiration to many of the 10,000 riders. What could be stronger than a survivor.

Again I have to say thank you for all that you do to inspire and unite survivors everywhere. It is not a club any of us wanted to join, but I am humbled by my fellow members. We have been through so much and keep on going, the will to live endures. I, like everyone else, will be thinking of you and praying all goes well. Godspeed Leroy.

Sent by Elizabeth H. | 12:15 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Go in knowing we all go with you.

Echoing Bob B,

Illegitimi non carborundum !

Sent by Jack Burrington | 12:20 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,

I join everyone else in wishing you the best possible outcome in the next few days. I may be wrong, but I don't think the procedures you are having are super-invasive. That means you won't be too long recovering.

Please think of yourself first and if you don't feel like writing for a while,we'll all certainly back you. Maybe you could ask one of your staff to let us know how things go?

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:31 PM ET | 08-07-2007

"Barn's burnt down - now I can see the moon." Masahide

To the optimist in you, Leroy :- ) As always, all the best, particularly, this week.

Sent by Molly | 12:38 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Approach tomorrow with HOPE in your heart! Go in knowing that the prayer chain will be working overtime.

Blessings and prayers as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 12:56 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Best wishes for a speedy recovery, Leroy. With so many sending positive vibes your way you are bound to have good juju in the trenches.
Finding something good in the midst of much that is bad is a challange worth pursuing.
"I thank Thee first because I was never robbed before; second, because
although they took my purse they did not take my life; third, because
although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth because it was I who was robbed, and not I who robbed".
-Matthew Henry, minister (1662-1714)

Have courage, my friend.

Sent by Martha Anderson | 1:05 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

Best of luck, and many prayers and support sent your way.

Sent by Connie E. | 1:08 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Damn - no coffee. Cruel bastards. I sympathize with you this morning as I sit here starving - no food before this morning's PET/CT scan in a few hours. But it sounds like you're in for a lot more than I am, so I shouldn't complain. It sounds like you're going in for the complete mid-life tune-up. Gosh - is there anything else they can tweak while they're in there?

Good luck and keep smiling.

Sent by Bob Maimone | 1:13 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Breathe in..."I am"....
Breathe out..."At peace"...
Godspeed over the next few days.
What you alone have created here, this cancer blog, is truly amazing!

Sent by Karen | 1:18 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Good luck tomorrow. Be glad the procedure was moved from 10 -7 you will now wake up sooner and maybe still have time for morning coffee. Don't even give the vertebroplasty a second thought. Mom had it done (t10 and t12 compression fractures- fill with cement- our defination) and walked the next day - no pain. With all you experienced this is a slam dunk.

Sent by barbara | 1:25 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Chocolate and Merlot would work here...

My prayers are with you.

Go do the cancer in....

Sent by Geoff | 1:27 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Oh Leroy, too funny! I am not a morning person either and God help those who get between me and my coffee. My husband literally sets my coffee on the bedside table so it's there as soon as I wake up.

I always schedule my "procedures" for first thing in the morning. Before you really wake up or can start that caffeine withdrawal headache, you are in the room. It gets over and done before you know it.

I hope you come back to us with funny stories of "things I said while waking up in recovery".

Most of all, I hope cancer gets the message. You're not giving up and unless cancer wants to roll that boulder up the hill over and over, it's best if it just went away.

Happy "cut and paste" (love that term)

Sent by Karen D. | 1:49 PM ET | 08-07-2007

I'll be praying for you at 6:00 a.m. CST--peace be with you.

Sent by Pamela | 2:04 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
I have studied this procedure, they were going to do this on my T10,11,12 fractures and still may, in the future, but more pressing matters right now (no pun intended). This is going to be a piece of cake compared to what you have endured in the past. I agree with everyone, going without your coffee is more painful! The doctors are in more danger than you are, if you are as grouchy as I am if you don't have your coffee. I tend to bite heads off, at every opportunity. Payback. There is one positive, the physicians doing the procedures DO NOT go without their coffee before the procedure, otherwise they might take their withdrwal out on you, so consider THAT a good thing! Take care, a lot of prayers are being said on your behalf.

Love, Briana

Sent by briana | 2:10 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Okay, so I've finally experienced a small dose of treatment today. I was sitting in the Nuclear Medicine dept. waiting room this morning at 6:30 waiting for a "Gamma scan" and after that was done I walked back into the waiting room to see other patients. There sits my wonderful husband and my Mom talking and chatting it up with some of them, well, all three of them. And so I get in on the conversation...and that was my first time talking face to face with another person that has thyroid cancer. And it was a good feeling...bittersweet...but good. And so the waiting game began...water torture...what if it's spread...we're all about to find out. The two other patients have done the treatment I'm getting ready to face. I ask all kinds of questions and they answer them honestly and openly. I'm emotional right now, so I'm having a hard time focusing in on what I want to say. Plus, I've been off my meds for almost two and half weeks. I want back on!!! I'm exhausted and tired, but I'm here...

So here we go...I'm in my room waiting for the Doc...and I'll be admitted to the Markey Cancer Center tomorrow. My cancer has spread "locally" but my Doc is just happy that the cancer is showing itself...that means that more than likely the full dose of treatment should kill that "local" metastasis. I'll have another scan tomorrow before being admitted and then another scan on
Friday and then we're done for another two months. I'm happy that I prepared myself to hear that the cancer had spread. I know I'm lucky that it didn't spread distant...and maybe it has and it's not showing on the scans, but I will not think that way today or tomorrow. Give me some time. So I often wondered how I would respond to hearing that it's spread...and I'm dealing with it...I'm okay. It didn't shake me the way I thought it would...am I still in denial? I don't know...I don't know much of anything right now. I know I'm not "cancer-free" but I don't think I went in there thinking I would be; hoping, but not expecting it. Why should I? Afterall, I didn't sign up for this...why should it suddenly decide to disappear?

I guess right now, I'm just grateful to have such wonderful people around me. My Sophia is now six months old and has gotten two teeth with the past week. I found one and my Dad found the other last night. My husband is here with me during treatment, so Sophia is with family and friends. I just know that I'm lucky...I'm lucky to be breathing...even if it's one breath at a time and sometimes you get it knocked out of you...I'm still here. And today's bad news came with good news. And I'm gonna be alright for the next little bit and that's good enough for now. As always, you're all in my prayers...I'll be thinking of you all while in isolation tomorrow...as my Doc said, "it'll be like a day at the spa"; don't think it will be, but it should give me some time...to think, to laugh, and to realize how lucky I am to receive the care I do.

Sent by Tess from KY | 2:34 PM ET | 08-07-2007

One more thing my Dear Leroy...I too, have to be at the hospital early tomorrow...around 6:30 AM CST. So it comforts me to know that we'll be undergoing treatment at the same time...granted mine won't last as long, I'll be smiling and sending good thoughts your way tomorrow and in the days that follow! Be well Leroy and I can't wait to read your next post when you're feeling better and I'm feeling better...with love!!!

Sent by Tess from KY | 2:40 PM ET | 08-07-2007

you're on the prayer list. be strong. be safe.
peace

Sent by jessie | 2:52 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy - Godspeed and best of luck to you. Sounds like at the least you will owe your body a morning sleeping in and a great cup of coffee. You have a lot of folks pulling for you.

Sent by Art Ritter | 2:53 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dear Leroy...bon courage tomorrow. You will be in my heart this week, and I hope the positive energy from all of us out here on your blog, helps to sustain you through these next procedures. Rebecca Bauder

Sent by Rebecca Bauder | 3:02 PM ET | 08-07-2007

You are always in my prayers! Being grouchy is okay!

Sent by Kay | 3:02 PM ET | 08-07-2007

how do you spell "RELIEF"?
V-E-R-S-E-D and D-E-M-E-R-O-L
you won't miss the caffiene and they will take care of you-
enjoy the respite(drug induced or not)
then muster the troops to fight back
take care and best wishes

Sent by randy and robbie | 3:15 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Best of luck with the procedures! You're going to come through just fine. Will be thinking of you. Sorry about the early time!

Sent by Sandy Lathe | 3:29 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy- I hate to be redundant but you must know there are no doubt thousands who read you and do not comment. You have given me an understanding of cancer that will help me and others our whole lives. Unfortunately,sooner or later, we are all affected by cancer.

I will think of you tomorrow- and look forward to your next blog- we all think of you.

Love,Linda

Sent by Linda H. | 3:35 PM ET | 08-07-2007

LeRoy, As others, I will be having that coffee for you and I??ll be sending you all the positive energy I can muster. You are in my thoughts!

Sent by laurie de Gonz??lez | 3:50 PM ET | 08-07-2007

I'll put in a second vote for good chocolate. Leroy, my thoughts are with you!

Betsey

Sent by Betsey Kuzia | 3:51 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dear Leroy,
Wow! You???ve got some fun week planned, huh? This gives new meaning to Wednesday being known as ???hump day.??? I guess with your Wednesday and Thursday procedure lineup, you have a Bactrian camel week (two humps) rather than a Dromedary. Bactrians are supposed to be sweeter tempered and better mannered than the one-hump guys, though, so I think this bodes well for you. Someday, the medical establishment will understand the significance of individual circadian rhythms and will not force those of us who enjoy moonlight to get up with the sun and put on an ugly, drafty hospital gown. .

I???m sure you know that we???ll all be with you tomorrow and Thursday, and we will each find ways to hold you closely in our thoughts, meditations, and prayers. Those of us who are early birds will start tomorrow morning before you even leave for the hospital, and those of us who are night owls will join in and continue the conscious sheltering until the wee hours of the morning. You and Lori will be surrounded with our love and protective energy???I guarantee it.

Keep believing in the fight!

Sent by Kathleen Hoffmann | 3:59 PM ET | 08-07-2007

I'm with Geoff.....chocolate and Merlot. However, laughing is the best medicine I've found next to crying. Both work!
God Will Be With You!

Sent by Lyn Banghart | 4:37 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy,
Good Luck! We are all praying for you. God bless.

Sent by David White | 4:43 PM ET | 08-07-2007

I rarely post but frequently read. As you go through all the stuff in this week, you should know that your writing and this blog have made a significant impact on how my wife and I deal with her Stage IV. Based on some of the things we learned here, we have refocused our priorities.
Please let the good feelings from making a difference help sustain you through your procedures.

Sent by Steve | 5:12 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Thoughts and prayers for you Leroy. Someone mentioned chocolate - you earn it!

Sent by Dorothy, Los Angeles | 5:32 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Godspeed Leroy.
Remember we are sending warm thoughts and
prayers your way.

I say a bit of Moose Tracks therapy is in order when you feel up to it..Works for me every time. :)

Take care of you.

Sent by Kerry | 5:37 PM ET | 08-07-2007

I agree with Dorothy - you make me smile, laugh, feel sad, cry - but most of all you make me think. I'm amazed at how aligned I am with your writings. I've printed several of them to keep in my office or in my planner; I've even given some to friends (but I've found that those who haven't been visited by the cancer beast don't seem to relate quite as well to them).

You do have some tough days ahead, Leroy, but we're here to hold you up. Remember that ... you're definitely not fighting this battle alone. My prayers are with you.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 5:51 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dear Sarah,
If it can be of any help to you, my husband has Stage IV lung cancer with numerous nodules. We asked about ablation and were told by many doctors that Chemo was the way to go. They said Ablation is worthwhile if there are only a few nodules. I don't blame you for thinking Ablation makes the most sense. It does to me too but it's supposedly not scientifically sound in all cases.

Sent by Elaine | 5:57 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy, No COFFEE is just down right MEAN!
I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Sent by Laurie H. | 6:29 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Dear Leroy...Thinking of you...and only positive thoughts...Yogi Berra says "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."...Fondly...Ann Pat...xoxo

Sent by Ann Patrice Sclafani-Forde | 8:12 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Best of luck to you this week, Leroy! And remember - it's not as bad as chemo.

Sent by Lilly T. | 8:16 PM ET | 08-07-2007

Leroy: One cannot help but be moved by your writings on this blog. I am not sure there is a person out here who has not lost a friend or relative to some form of this monster. (I love your Sisyphus description). When my cousin was fighting the beast and would go for his chemo and radiation treatments that we knew would put him out of commission for several days we always talked about how we would be waiting on the other side for him to come through the procedure and return to us. This he said, gave him courage and strength knowing that someone was thinking of him and waiting for him to "come through to the other side".

I read your blog earlier in the day but could not rest tonight without letting you know that I too, would be waiting for you to come out on the other side after this very arduous series of gluing, radiating and freezing.

From the looks of it, you will have many of us who have written and probably thousands who haven't, praying for you and in all forms pulling for you to come through to the other side to chat with us again.

Our wish is for you to be greeted with smiles and hugs and encouraging, uplifting news of the way that all of this went for you --- which will no doubt send Sisyphus to the bottom of the hill and not eager to come at you again so soon.

You are a blessing to us all. May God bless you my friend.

Sent by Cindy Sivula | 12:08 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Will be sending along strong, positive Belgian vibes today at 1 p.m. local time (and always), and wishing you a week in which the medical outcome exceeds all expectations.
We are all with you!

Sent by Maris | 3:53 AM ET | 08-08-2007

What a wonderful site you have here. I'm so very impressed, so much love!

I'm a tongue cancer patient at MD Anderson and have just started my own blog in a effort to help others. Judging by yours I have a lot of work to do! How do you keep up with it all?

Come visit if you can. Wishing you all the great health life can bring!

http://beyondtheglassdoor.blogspot.com/

Peace

Sent by Brian | 4:10 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Morning, Leroy!

So basically you have to get up at 5am and so you get "jetlag without a vacation".

As if you didn't have enough challenges!

I had an extra cup of Starbucks this morning in your honor (can you feel the energy???). Hang in there!

Sent by liz | 4:12 AM ET | 08-08-2007

First of all, Leroy, I'll be praying for you and for the doctors and others who'll be working on you.

As for your "mood", I call that feeling "fluffy". Fluffy is the word you use when you just can't think of another one or if you have thought of them, they're much too harsh sounding and most words can't cover as much territory as the way I use "FLUFFY". (Example: If I'm feeling fat, I'm feeling "fluffy". If I'm just not in a good mood, I'm "fluffy". Don't want to be around anyone? You're feeling "fluffy", get the idea?). That is a word my dear friend who passed away years ago from cancer used that word. She was an upbeat, wonderful young woman who always made you feel warm inside and you just knew she was so glad to see you on any given day. But, if you asked her how she was and she replied, "I'm having a fluffy day". You knew it was not a good one or perhaps you'd best be careful not to tick her off. That word, should you choose to use it, is one that you then need to allow others to use in the same way. Others will lighten up on you if you tell them you're feeling "fluffy". But then if you ask them how they're feeling and if they reply "I'm feeling fluffy", then out of respect for their right to feel "fluffy", back off and allow them their "fluffy" time.

This may sound nuts but sometimes it can lighten the atmosphere a bit and you'll see that look of "dah"...on someone's face as they ask you "what in the world are you talking about" and they start laughing. Then you both start laughing.

So, Leroy, as you're feeling "fluffy" during the next few days, I'll be praying for you to recover quickly and that your surgery is successful. One more step forward. All this stuff and procedure after procedure gets old but it buys us time for another laugh, another hug from a loved one, another day to watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset. You're my hero!

Say hi to the wife for me too.
Linda

Sent by LindaW | 4:54 AM ET | 08-08-2007

It's close to that 7 A.M. - I've been up with an ache of the sheets of cancer somewhere around my pancreas. Something we both might need - a small pillow to hug to ease the pain - anyone have a suggestion for a good firm hugging pillow, not too big? Success to the procedure and a good rest for you Leroy.

Sent by Cheryl McDowell | 6:10 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Gee, Leroy, don't you ever take a sick day? Hope all went well today.

Sent by Leslie | 10:29 PM ET | 08-08-2007

If you taste a little like chicken and come with a vegetable, and dessert, sounds like the process "Swansons" uses for their TV dinners!

Gluing, burning and freezing are your friends, just like the roto-zip that will soon open my head like a jack-o-lantern...for the third time so the gifted folks with steady hands can remove junk from my head.

Good luck Leroy and I hope the "glue" jokes and puns won't be too much to take!

Sent by john | 11:18 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Hi;
I am also a stage IV colorectal cancer survivor of (4) years. I have had RFA and stereotactic radiation and chemo-emoblization with the latter two resulting in nothing but adding more complications.
Have you considered Modified Gene Therapy?
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/gene#2

http://www.cancer.gov/newscenter/pressreleases/MelanomaGeneTherapy

I am not there yet, but when I do, I certainly plan to try it.
I wish you the best.

Sent by J. Naini | 8:49 PM ET | 08-14-2007