Oh crap Leroy! It sure does suck!

Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks! Cancer sucks!

How many pages am I allowed to fill that with? Not enough.

I am so sorry for the pain you have. I know that if you are being that candid about it...it hurts like a MO FO!

Wishing your relief soon. Oh I am.

Hugs that are gentle,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 7:20 AM ET | 08-09-2007

'Morning Leroy,

A twofer special today, what fun. Sorry about the break through pain inserting the needle into the bone. Sometimes all the drugs we have available just aren't enough. I can appreciate the pain having to lie on your back. I am definitely NOT back person at all.

Hang in there for the RAF and freeze job today. We are usual pulling for you!

Sent by Susan Chap | 7:23 AM ET | 08-09-2007

O.K. Leroy, one down, some to go. Let's hope all the unhappys in two days will make one big happy all at once. It's so easy for me to sit over here in the bleachers and cheer but I've been through enough to know what it's like. So swing Leroy....... SWING!!! You didn't get this far by being soft. You're one tough dude.

Sent by Lou Mayers | 7:31 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Days like you are describing make one wonder, what does that sharp stick in the eye feel like?
But think positive. You made it thru the glue gun. One down, two to go.
Be strong. Be well. Your're on the prayer list.
Peace

Sent by Jessie | 7:43 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Thank Goodness Leroy, that ordeal is over ! Your body has put up with so much insult that I think it must know how to deal with it all. I always tell myself that the rest of my body wants to live and be well as much as my crazy ole brain wants to live. They depend on each other-mind & body, body & Soul!
Hang in there and keep talking to us. First thing I checked out this morning was your blog, and Halaluya, You were there!! Now, I must get dressed and make my doctor's app't!

Sent by J C Rakowski | 7:45 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Hi Leroy,

I am so sorry that u are in pain and have to go thru this. I guess we take the pain hoping it is all worth it, and somehow that gets us thru. Here's a wish and a prayer that the pain resolves quickly and that your other procedures are successful.

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:06 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Well at least you will be able to take care of two areas with on set of pain meds. Make sure they realize how much it hurts. I have a tendency to down play things, but I have learned that it is not a wise thing to do that when pain is involved. Hope today goes well. You know we are all thrilled to sign on today and know things went relatively well yesterday! Take care, Dona

Sent by Dona | 8:17 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,
My thoughts & prayers have been with you. I can't imagine being awake and 'feeling' part of the procedure. "Ouchers!"
Yes, cancer sux at times and this is one of those times. To say, 'hang in there' seems so trivial. I just hope you feel better each hour.

Sent by lisa | 8:20 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Hi LeRoy, I follow your posts but rarely comment. On this day I'd like to only offer my support, love and encouragement as you continue the fight. You know, you are really doing well and it's sooooooooo obvious the "big Guy upstairs" isn't finished with you yet. You are paving the way for those who come behind you.

Your sense of candor............your bravery.................your compassion is awesome.

Thanks for "paving" the way.

Mary Jo
"For we know that ALL things God works for good for those who love Him....." Romans 8:28

Sent by Mary Jo | 8:22 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Cancer does suck! I am sorry about the pain you are having. Maybe in a few days that will be gone. Thanks for letting us know how it all went. our prayers are with you. God bless

Sent by David White | 8:23 AM ET | 08-09-2007

So glad to hear from you! I am very sorry for the pain you're going through, and yes, cancer sucks. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Even the sucky parts.

Take care. My prayers are with you.

Sent by Jennifer | 8:28 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Oh, dude this sounds bad. Bring on more drugs! Please take a break, stop writing, get some rest.

Here lives a writer named Leroy
He's stabbed, glued, and fried, but he's our boy!
He plonks out his blog,
and lets us talk through this fog
with the hope that cancer we can destroy!

Sending over healing happy thougts...

Sent by Pika | 8:47 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Congratulations on what sounds like a successful glue gun operation! Modern medicine is so amazing. I've been thinking about the attitude that you, Elizabeth Edwards and Tony Snow all seen to have: I will most likely live with cancer for the rest of my life, but I will live. My mother's doctors never really gave her that message. One doctor gave her 6 months to live and, after 14 years of going in and out of remission (thinking each one was going to be the cure) she finally said, ok I guess it's time to stop trying. I know that she was tired of this roller coaster and maybe that doctor gave her the permission she needed to quit. But I just wish someone had impressed upon her that every person is different, 6 months may not be 6 months at all, and though fighting can be painful and exhausting, it might just be worth it. Thank you for sending the message of reality as well as the message of hope.

Sent by Lorie | 8:47 AM ET | 08-09-2007

I thought about you yesterday. You are going to pull through this because you are being so matter of fact about it! I am groping for that feeling lately, but the fear is pulling me a bit because I have my Scan (yes with a capital S) tomorrow to see what's going on with my liver. Is there spread? Is the chemo working? Is it unchanged? My husband cried this morning because I cried. I forget that this is hard for him. I feel guilty for making him cry, isn't that silly?

Heal well. I am sure that tumor is dead...hang in there.

Sent by Becky | 8:52 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Sending Get Well wishes, peaceful thoughts, and hoping the pain diminishes quickly.

Sent by Rochelle | 8:58 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Did you get coffee this morning? I hope so & for what it's worth here's to some relief from pain aka good living through pharmalogy!
Almost sounds like sci fi just incredible waiting & watching for the concrete to dry, I'll never look at wet cement the same way. I guess in cancer world we all tell ourselves in the end the outcomes will be worth the pain & we pray for that to be the case for you, Leroy! My husband & I plan for the next vacation based on his treatment,cycles & testing with some time away jealously guarded. May I suggest as a possible treat a trip for your future plans. Sometimes it's not necessary to be out of the country or traveling but we will be in our own backyard or to borrow from jimmy Buffet on "the porch of indecision" just watching the sky & hummingbirds go by...

Sent by cyn | 8:58 AM ET | 08-09-2007

WOW, you sure are getting the works. I'm sorry you are in pain - that is the worst part of this. The cancer may not cause you pain but the treatments do! How ironic is that!!!!! I do pray that it is helpful in the long run and thank you for writing today and sharing your experience even though you are obviously suffering. You are a very courageous man. I dislike it when people say I'm brave but in your case I think it's very appropriate. You are our hero!

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 9:01 AM ET | 08-09-2007

And sucks big time. I'm relieved to know that you got through round one relatively intact, and hope that round two goes well for you. You're a real trooper to write about the "glue thing" when you're feeling so lousy. Thanks big guy.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 9:04 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Dear Leroy,

I'm glad that your procedure was successful. Good luck with the RFA and the cryoablation today. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Laurie. Sasha

Sent by sasha | 9:08 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,

I admire you so much - thanks for your candor, your humor, your strength. You're in my thoughts and prayers today as you continue through these treatments. After they're done, I believe a large philly cheesesteak is in order.

Godspeed,

Sent by Amy | 9:32 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,

Right now, I am sitting in a hotel room, waiting out the last few minutes before the state exam. This will take me one of many steps closer to being a radiation therapist. So, of course, rather than studying, I played catch-up a little more with your blog.

Sounds as if everything went well. I am sorry for the addition of pain to your days, but it should be a short-lived. I think you're right in thinking this could be a lot for your body to cope with, but getting it all out of the way may be more productive in the long run, both physically and emotionally. I am not thoughoughly familiar with cryoblation, so please let us know how you fared.

My thoughts are with you both.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 9:33 AM ET | 08-09-2007

It's so hard to maintain an upbeat attitude when we are in pain. I hope this is just a one day issue and that you will be feeling better tomorrow. You sure are on my mind. I'm sending you positive pain free energy.

Tomorrow is my CAT scan. I'm praying that my nagging pain isn't more cancer, but I am looking forward to knowing, one way or another.

There are so many kinds of pain that we have to endure in life. It is amazing that our spirits and will to live stay basically positive in tact.

Here's to life!

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 9:35 AM ET | 08-09-2007

...again...you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Wendy

Sent by Wendy Murphey | 9:38 AM ET | 08-09-2007

I hate it when something in a procedure, one I have to be awake or patially awake for, is very painful and I wasn't expecting it (and I've had that happen a few times). OTOH, I try to tell myself what good would expecting it really have done except make my life more miserable before the procedure started? Anyway, I hope todays procedures are easier on you and the back pain diminishes quickly.

The whole thing does suck.

Sent by N.R. | 9:46 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Hi Leroy,

So good to hear from you this morning. Think about you, Laurie and my cancer family so much. Glad this procedure is behind you. Your post this morning is just another reminder of what cancer patients must endure. Hopefully, things will go well for you today. Looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow!!

Love,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty Lewis | 9:50 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,

I am glad your procedure went well yesterday! As I was lying on the bed yesterday getting ready to have my Bone Marrow Biopsy done and thinking about how much it was going to suck, I thought about you and what you were going through. I sent good thoughts to you all the way through my procedure, I hoped they helped!

I knew it was going to hurt and had asked to be given premeds which was morphine and atavant... I told the Dr I didnt think that was gonna be enough and to through anything that was ready to expire on board as well, he laughed but said he could not do that...

As always, my thoughts are with you! Thanks for sharing your life, thoughts and experience with us!

Brad

Sent by Brad Bowman | 9:55 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Not much to add but hang in there, baby! I'm sorry it's so hard. I'd bring you a philly cheesesteak if I could.

Sent by Karole Ives | 9:57 AM ET | 08-09-2007

You poor thing! Why did you have to be awake for this? Thank God it's over. Thinking of you.

Sent by Ruth White | 10:06 AM ET | 08-09-2007

I just hope they give you lots of pain drugs for all your "procedures".

Sent by Stephanie | 10:12 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Echoing what Nancy Clark said, it was truly admirable of you to write about yesterday's procedure when you were feeling crummy. I'm sure you knew that everyone out here was waiting anxiously to hear how it went, and judging from your writings this past year or so, I'm guessing that you felt a bit of an obligation to report in to all of us. Which we certainly appreciate, but maybe you can cut yourself some slack after today's procedures and take a break. If anyone would understand, it's your fellow travelers out here in cancer land. Hope today's stuff goes well - we're thinking about you.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 10:12 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Sounds pretty damn rough -- the ordeals we can deal with (still, they suck) but pain is something else -- may it be short-lived. Hope they can up the ante on the meds as necessary until the pain abates. Best thoughts.

Sent by Marcia | 10:14 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,
Have only recently reading your blog but I must say I am addicted to your writings. I'm glad this ordeal is almost over for you...get more pain bang for the buck I suppose. My husband's radiation, for this round, ends tomorrow so hopefully his tumor, like yours, will be obliterated by radiation. My thoughts and best wishes are with you and all those who love you.

Sent by Kathie | 10:14 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Im so glad this procedure is over with Leroy. Im praying for you every step of your journey

Warm hugs

Sent by Robin Turman | 10:16 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,
Thanks for pioneering and scouting out ahead for the rest of us. You're really doing some hard work these days.
All is quiet here- in our cancer world. My husbands scans (finally done correctly) appear to be clear... yahoo!!! Although they keep saying that, "It is reported that a left lung lobectomy has been done." I would rather like to believe that they can see that upon reading the CAT scan. No...
Both cataracts have been removed and replaced with "Cyrstal lens". So the chemo catarcts are gone and now he doesn't need glasses anymore. Good news --from bad!
Best to you all out there,
Deb

Sent by Deb | 10:17 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Dear Leroy: I feel like giving you a hug right now and I want to tell you to hang in there. But(!) that hug might hurt a bit given everything your poor body has gone through these past few days (and these past few years). Think of everyone's good wishes in this blog as one big psychic group hug. While we're not exactly on the table with you, we are absolutely, 100% there for you.

Sent by Peggy | 10:26 AM ET | 08-09-2007

All that pain, and you still gave us an update! Thank you so much for being an inspiration--"do it anyway"--even if it hurts. God be with you today, too.

Peace,

Sent by Pamela | 10:30 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Yes, cancer sucks. But buying time is a beautiful thing. Thank God for new procedures, excellent doctors and nurses, and fine medical facilities. Here's hoping the pain is fleeting and the results good and long lasting! And best wishes for a speedy recovery, Leroy.

Sent by Martha Anderson | 10:31 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Wow, I signed on today and first thing looked for your update. I had wondered whether you'd be able to write after all you went through yesterday. I am continually amazed by your strength and determination to beat the cancer and also to let others know what the struggle is like for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Karol

Sent by Karol | 10:34 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Yuck! Glad your still smiling through your pain!! Good luck today with the frontal portion!!

Sent by Pat Beach | 10:42 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Yucky stuff, Leroy! I cringed as I read your blog this morning and wondered how in the heck you had the fortitude to write!!!! Thanks for your dedication! I'm envisioning the cancer in your body yelling "retreat" in the face of this two-day assault. I know your armor (body) will take some hits but I'm hoping that the "victories" experienced yesterday will help you in today's battle. And, Leroy, take a rest after today - we'll be here waiting for you : -)

Sent by Molly | 10:42 AM ET | 08-09-2007

May God wrap His loving arms around you at this time. Thank you for taking the time for us Leroy.

Judy

PS Jesse, your comment about the sharp stick in the eye was priceless!

Sent by Judy Voller | 10:50 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Writing your blog today must have been very difficult. Talk about not being in the mood.

We appreciate your candor. While this blog is important to many followers, don't sacrifice your health. Our collective thoughts are with you.

Sent by Steve | 10:52 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Larry,
I hope it gives you some strength that thousands are rooting for you. Add my name to the list.

Sent by ROBERT BROWER | 10:55 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy-
Double Ugh!!!!
I'm sending you healing and pain reduction energy. I really feel for you. Focus and be the boulder!

That's great news about the spine tumor! Maybe that's forshadowing the fate of the rest of the tumors. You're going to kick butt!

My prayers are with you,
Kathy Bero

Sent by Kathy Bero | 11:14 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,
My thoughts are with you.....

Sent by Lyn Banghart | 11:23 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,

I've been wishing for two days of excellent results for you.

Isn't it one of the ironies of cancer that the healing treatments are painful, while the vile tumors of many cancers can remain mostly painless while they multiply/destroy within ? Yup, cancer sucks, big time!

Sent by Sheara | 11:29 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy-

Thank you for sharing with us. We're all here sending positive thoughts and good energy your way.

What else can we say? I think we all feel like words are not enough.

Sent by Elizabeth from Brooklyn | 11:31 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,

Sorry you hurt and I suppose there is a reason they couldn't just knock you out. I am grateful, however, for the good-ish news about your back. Now take care of the ribs and lung. You don't win this game, but you can stay one jump ahead.

Thanks for your courage and your willingness to share what is happening to you with the rest of us.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:57 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,
I am amazed that you continue to report from the front lines while you are under fire. So, so sorry for the pain, but we are all with you and sending you powerful, loving energy. There will be a respite soon.
Peace come to you,

Sent by Kathleen Hoffmann | 12:01 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Amen! Cancer sucks, pain sucks!!!
Thanks for "playing through" and updating us with your usual flair. Good luck today. I hope all goes well, and the pain is short lived.

Sent by Scarlett | 12:04 PM ET | 08-09-2007

i used to tell people when treatments were painful " I know this is kicking cancer's ass cause it's kicking mine" Somehow imagining the pain for the cancer cells made it a little easier to bear. I like the thought of cancer cells being glued. I am sorry for them to feel pain you have to be along for the ride though. Hang in there we are all thinking of you and praying for a swift recovery for you and a permanent death to those cancer cells.

Sent by Elizabeth Hendrix | 12:22 PM ET | 08-09-2007

You are an amazing man! I hope your procedures go well today and that your pain is gone soon. You are in my prayers.
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 12:28 PM ET | 08-09-2007

leroy,

awaiting the phone call from my mother to see if my father is still in remission. hate these days. reading & sharing your blog daily. thank you so much for sharing your story. you are helping more people then you will ever know. your are truly a gift to this world. take care. sending you love, peace & hope.

fondly,
sara
st.louis, mo.

Sent by sara | 12:46 PM ET | 08-09-2007

I find it interesting and hopeful that they can deal with the metastases as they occur. Not in every case, successfully, but in some cases, and fortunately in yours.

I sort of figured they'd give up once they determined it has spread. But not so. That is very good news, giving patients what we need and crave the most...time.

Sent by Scott S. | 12:48 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Yow!! The medical profession likes to think that they've gotten very good at controlling pain, but sometimes they are really quite nuts when laying out the protocols -- in other words, it hurts like hell while they tell you it doesn't!!

PLEASE let them know how much the non-painful procedure hurt and is still hurting so that they can help you now and maybe help others in the future. Since you have a public voice you probably have a little more credibility with these people than the average patient.

I'm hoping like hell that you'll soon be out of pain.

Sent by jane | 12:55 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy, The whole thing sucks! Two in a row what a deal, did you win a teddy bear or get a lollipop? No prizes for the pain. Hope you feel better in just a short time. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 1:10 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy, I've enjoyed your blog since seeing you on the Discovery Channel. I can't thank you enough for your writings. I am fighting an extremely rare type of cancer of the appendix. As such, there isn't a "support group" to join, and I don't know if I'd join if there were. I feel like the group that has formed around you will suffice.
I've never felt the need to comment, but I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers while you endure this difficult time. There are so many people pulling for you, and I hope you feel all that positive energy.
I head back down to MD Anderson for scans on Monday to see how I'm doing. Your blog and the resulting comments will help me get through the coming days.
God Bless - Anne

Sent by Anne Hart | 1:12 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Namaste Leroy.
Love, Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 2:03 PM ET | 08-09-2007

I used to think that the ultimate symbol of a "no fear" type of survivalist was that British guy, Bear Grylls from the Discovery show, "Man vs the Wild". But then I realized that scaling steep mountains without any equipment and eating maggots off a dead animal in order to make a tv show is pretty foolish. In reality, the needless chances he takes with his life and health are a bit insulting to cancer survivors and other people suffering from life threatening medical conditions. Real bravery is found in hospitals by people like yourself, fighting pain and fear while enduring another torturous medical procedure.

I wanted you to know that your daily blogs are an incredible source of strength for my mom and myself. My mom has had breast cancer since 1999 and for the past couple years has been battling cancer on her spine, ribs and lungs, just like yourself. To treat these tumors her doctors have used the typical broad approach drug methods. But her latest tumor markers show that the cancer may have stopped responding and I have wondered whether she could try these newer targeted therapies. Do you know if options like vertebroplasty, cryoablation, and Radio Frequency Ablation are only available at your hospital or if they are being implemented elsewhere? I also wonder if someone on Medicare has access to these? Maybe this subject has been brought up in the past through your blog, I'm not sure because I haven't read all of the older posts. So I apologize in advance if this topic has been spoken of previously. If anyone out there reading these posts knows the answer to this, I???d love any comments you might have...

Sent by Lisa in Syracuse, NY | 2:05 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Hang in there, Leroy. You are my hero. Well, one of several, anyway!

Sent by Ruth from Virginia | 2:13 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Dear Leroy,
You poor thing! ALL THOSE TREATMENTS, What do those of us who are not getting all that care have to complain about?
I am sorry to hear you are in more pain than anticipated, I was under the impression from my research it was not as difficult, but it may also be because of the tumors. That is good news, though, if the tumor was so hard because it was no longer living and growing, right? I suppose there is a silver lining to everything if you look hard enough. I also applaud you for taking the time when you are so uncomfortable to let us know you made it through your surgery and doing relatively well. THAT IS GOOD NEWS!!!
Our prayers are with you, as has been so eloquently stated by all of us who care about you!

Love, Briana

Sent by briana | 2:16 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Thank you so much for your blog. I woke up this morning looking forward to your latest entry.

Since my cancer diagnosis two months ago, your writings have helped me see that there is still alot of living I have yet to do.

Sent by Lisa | 2:17 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Sounds like you are detailing a car.....and perhaps you are just detailing your body. What's that old phrase...no pain, no gain. Never did believe in that way of thinking....so get those meds on board and sleep as much as you can as your body heals from the assault! Sending nothing but positive thoughts your way...

Sent by Karen | 2:25 PM ET | 08-09-2007

I am assuming by now you have the required uniform of the cancer club, a "Cancer Sucks" t-shirt. Be sure to let us know if you don't -

Sent by Lesa | 2:33 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy

So sorry to hear that your procedure was/still is painful. My first treatment went well...I don't like being in isolation, but hopefully my follow up scans won't show any more mets...but the doc says don't be surprised if there's more...ouch, wasn't expecting that! That's discouraging, but honest and I WANT/NEED honesty right now. I'm feeling well and I'm hoping that your pain is relieved soon, if not now! You've been in my thoughts constantly!!! Prayers and hugs! With love!!!

Sent by Tess from KY | 2:35 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Dear Leroy,

I can't believe you keep up this blog with everything you're going through. You've obviously been one tough cookie all your life and probably picked up some more courage and stamina being embedded with all those soldiers you hung out with and the things you've seen. I can't tell you what an inspiration you are to me. I am glad that your spine is good and strong, and that probably, one of those tumors is smaller or DEAD, but really, really sorry you are in so much pain. Wish there was something I could do. All I can do is tell you you remain in my thoughts and prayers and every glimmer of good news is a boost to my day, as I know it is to you and Laurie. Hang in there - you are loved.

Sent by Connie E. | 3:05 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,

Today I cried for you,

Sent by Dorothy Martinelli, Vt. | 3:44 PM ET | 08-09-2007

A little off topic, but I heard this song at 5am (it was one of those restless nights) today and had never heard of it before. It's "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw.

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do

and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again

and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?

Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

Sent by Bruce | 4:05 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy,
Just letting you know you are in my thoughts and prayers, sounds like a really sucky week for you.Next week will be better

Sent by Linda | 5:36 PM ET | 08-09-2007

You are such a good writer, and the pain came through, loud and clear. I feel for you and for all the others going through pain, and the devious disease we call cancer. Here's hoping the treatments are successful!
Sincerely,
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 6:40 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Yeah,sometimes our daily issue turns from fear to pain. And if the side-effects of the pain-killers are just as bad as the pain, well, then we really are in some deep stuff. I read some accounts by some POWs who lived months with broken bones, unreal sickness, beaten,lying in a pool of filth. If they were able to live minute to endless minute with all that, and if all those people I saw at the hospital could walk through their pain, then I can make it through today, hour by hour. Sorry. I just really needed to say that outloud, so to speak, somewhere today.

Sent by Ron | 7:12 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Bruce,
I've always loved that song by Tim McGraw and I think it should apply to all of us both cancer survivors and caretakers alike. We all get so frustrated riding the cancer roller coaster that we forget to love deeper and speak sweeter. Thanks for reminding me of the good things in life.

Sent by Elaine | 7:36 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy, thanks for letting us know how you are doing. Remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt who said:

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

My thoughts and prayers are with you, hang in there! Beth

Sent by Beth | 7:48 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy, How much can one person take? I am sorry that all of these medeival procedures (when will the leeches come out) are necessary and that you end up hurting more afterwards than before. You continue to be an inspiration to me. Thank you for posting, today of all days.

Sent by Sally Jenkins | 8:22 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Hi Leroy, Congrats on getting thru the glue gun. It sounds like some pretty good news there...and yes cancer sucks. If there was ever anything I could hate that is it, for all it has taken from me and what it is still taking...you hang in there...I can tell you are a winner...Love and Feel Better..Teresa in WV

Sent by Teresa | 9:15 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy - you are such a trooper to continue to write.........please take a break if you need one........as others have said everyone who has dealt with the beast, would certainly understand!
I remember too well some of the physical pain of the surgeries, treatment, etc.........my love and prayers for your peace and comfort..........
All Shall Be Well............

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 10:11 PM ET | 08-09-2007

You must feel like George Bailey as the prayers of the thousands of people pulling for you are sent into the heavens!

Sent by claudia | 10:54 PM ET | 08-09-2007

Leroy, Sorry about the pain. I was so excited about your procedure that I didn't even think about the pain factor. It seems like they leave us awake for almost everything these days. Hoping you have a quick recovery.

Sent by Jill | 2:08 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Glad the procedure went well..and sending good thoughts for the upcoming ones... I just got back into civilization after being in a forest 2 days sans electricity or a working fan... --Krupali

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 3:33 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

Greetings from Denmark, where the weather right now doesn't agree with the calendar that spells "summer". Rain and cold weather has been the order of the day for some time now, but statistically this is how it should be - in Denmark at least.

I have been reading you blog for more than a year now and it is with great interest I read your posts. Not having, or have ever had, cancer or other serious illnesses myself, I am left to imagine how it would be and the things that one would go through.

I find that I like the "reflective"-posts the most, where you put your situation into a broader perspective - where you give "rules to live by". Some of these have stuck with me for a long time and become my own mantras, cutting through to the core of what is important for this life we live with the time we have. Favorite posts include "The things we knew we should be doing all along" and "The leagcy of a day well lived".

Thank you very much for sharing these thoughts and insights. I'll get on with my day now, try to make a difference and touch the lives of others - as you have done for me.

All the best,
Dan Pedersen

Sent by Dan Pedersen | 4:02 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Larry -

When you are considering whether or not to take your pain meds, please remember everything your body and soul has gone through lately. The procedures take an emotional and spiritual toll, as well as a physical toll. You owe it to yourself to ease your pain so you can heal. You need to take it easy now, so you have a deep well of strength.

Today marks one year since my father passed away from complications due to CLL (he was only 58 years old when he died). I have been reading your blog nearly every day since then. It has been an important part of my healing process.

I want to thank you for sharing your feelings, fears, and concerns with the world. I know my dad struggled with some of the very same things. He didn"t talk about it. Part of me wishes he could have shared this with me. Yet, I realize that he couldn"t because I needed him to fight and he needed to fight for me. Nevertheless, I live with a deep regret that I did not allow him be scared or vulnerable.

Your stoicism and your humor remind me of my dad. He had a mustache, a quick wit, and everyone liked him. When times were tense, he always made everyone see the "funny." He never wanted to take his pain medicine either!

Take good care,
Tara McCraw Lutz

Sent by Tara | 1:51 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Bruce: Tim McGraw has several great songs regarding living inthe "now". I need to look into what's happening in his life. Burge's best friend played "old Friend" at the funeral and it said exactly how we all felt.
Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 6:01 PM ET | 08-10-2007