who knew??? who knew that in the world of cyber internet that i would ever have come to know so many incredible people....who knew??? who knew ??? that this web site would bring me peace in a world of cancer despair???? i am very grateful, like you , leroy...who knew? "our" cancer world is an amazing place....

Sent by marianne dalton | 7:33 AM ET | 08-21-2007

In the end, I truly believe that that is what matters more than anything else...the person that we find underneath all the junk that the world piles on us, and what we take on ourselves. It's finding the the person that is there all the time. Sometimes it is as simple as being given the gift of time to find that person, and as trite as it may sound--holding out your hand to someone else. Sometimes that's the only--and best--medicine anyone can offer, doctor or caregiver.
I think it's been one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given, to be able to walk with cancer patients and their families. And I hope that in some way being there gives them some ease.

Sent by NJ | 8:13 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Yes, we indeed do learn from each other as we journy through this experience. I have learned that I had to get rid of bitterness and discontent in order to fight the "Beast", as you call it. I found that harboring hatred and dislike is like that very cancer that festers and grows and consume our bodies. Love and kindness makes you stronger and able to whip that "Beast". I discovered that through these 24 years as I have battled.
All your thoughts are good, always thinking of others, and so you fight the good fight!

Sent by J C Rakowski | 8:32 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Thank you for hosting this site, Leroy. I, too, have learned a lot. Not because I have cancer, which, as far as I know, I don't, but because those who have truly faced the prospect of impending death, willingly or unwillingly, have had so much to teach, and I have been your observing student. I visit this site regularly to learn your wisdom, and I just want to say thanks to all of you.

Sent by Leonard Adams | 8:34 AM ET | 08-21-2007

We do learn from each other. That is why support groups for this can be such a powerful help. Because I live in a small city and have one of the rarer kinds of cancer (and one with a lot of quality of life issues after treatment), I have found most of my support on the internet. I never was sure before now whether the internet was a good thing or a huge distraction to more important things in life but I am SO grateful for the "virtual" support I have gotten here and on other internet sites.

Sent by N.R. | 8:40 AM ET | 08-21-2007

When you are "walking through the valley of the shadow of death", only a truly lost soul would not listen, learn and then reach out to others who are walking the same path. Leroy, you have not only listened and learned from your experiences with cancer but have also "reached out" to all of us via this forum. You pass along your wisdom and learnings, your humor, joy, wit, humility and thankfulness to us each day with your musings. You do reinvigorate us with Hope and the knowledge that we are not in this fight alone. The knowledge, support, comfort and care received here is awesome.

Perhaps this all started as a public way for you to chronicle your journey with cancer. It has evolved into something much bigger and more important. You have created a haven, a port in the swirling, cancer storm , for us to seek shelter each day to receive respite from the winds. You are the Captain of this Mighty Ship and we are very proud to be the passengers on this voyage with you.

Prayers and blessings.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:43 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy, That is what is so special about your blog - that you do understand and it is not superficial. All who write here have a special understanding and as a nurse throughout my career I have never said I understand when I didn't. All the things that I have gone through in my life have made me a better nurse because I could understand (things as simple as being on food stamps). I'm glad you have learned from us as we have learned from you. I also wanted to say that I taught group therapy as a psychiatric nurse and couldn't deal with live groups and looked at other support groups on line but none resonated with me like this blog. You are the heart and soul of this blog Leroy although all the wonderful, educated and caring people that contribute make it the most special thing I have ever been privileged to be part of. THANK YOU ALL.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 8:45 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Good Morning Leroy,

Life, with or without cancer, offers opportunities for each of us to grow, stretch, learn, and change everyday. :-)

Your blog, and the living force it has become, with everyone who reads it, those who post and those who don't, I find to be a beautiful being of healing.

Thank you for being willing to share your experiences; thank you and NPR for being willing and able to have this blog.

Thank you for learning and growing.

Each of us, stretching, growing and learning together, is the greatest hope we have as human beings.

Many days, for me, this space is a bridge between one difficult moment to the next. Whether it involves cancer, other illness, or regular everyday stress.

Thank you again. I have learned a lot from you and everyone here.

Peace,

Kim

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 8:52 AM ET | 08-21-2007

I started reading your blog after seeing you on TV with Ted. My husband died of pancreatic cancer, four months to the day afer his diagnosis. You have touch my being in so many ways. Blessings.

Sent by Doris Witmer | 8:53 AM ET | 08-21-2007

It is the ultimate lesson in compassion and empathy........

We are changed by these experiences as well as the sharing we do here and elsewhere

It is truly amazing the depth of friendships and caring compassion gained

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 9:00 AM ET | 08-21-2007

I have learned many things about myself and others while battling my cancer. Most of all I learned to appreciate everything that has come my way,and am grateful for everything I have. I never knew how much people meant to me and how grateful I am to have them in my life. In the face of the "beast" you learn what is important in your life.

Sent by Chris Fitzgerald | 9:27 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Yes, who knew? Although my treatment is "completed" and so far so good in my colon cancer "adventure," I read your column every day. It has given me such peace to read both your blog and everyone's comments. Thank you to all!

Sent by Kathy | 9:34 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Good Morning, All!

I know I'm not alone in finding a sometimes eerie, serendipitous comfort in Leroy's writings, thoughts and musings.

Yesterday's post I had to read twice. *smiles*

Yesterday's post also prompted me to want to respond to "afraid" who posted a few days ago in response to our recent discussion of pain:

"afraid"> Hopefully you've stayed with Leroy's blog a few days more. I must admit that while I contributed to the discussion about the pain(s) of dealing with cancer, it rekindled many fears _we_ had immediately following our diagnosis.

We encourage you to visit other 'editions' of this facet (this blog) of the CancerCommunity through the chronological archive listing. Here you will find one of the most constructive online communities we've yet to encounter.

Were I to list the commenters here who have helped us in the past six months without their knowing, _this_ comment would be rejected because of length. *grins*

Most of what I've learned about being a member of the CancerCommunity, I've learned from all of you. And, I thank you for that. You make even the 'uncomfortable learning' more comfortable, as there's some comfort just in knowing one isn't alone.

I salute you all!

-dp, Stage IV Lung

Sent by dp | 9:45 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Your blog is one of the last things Joe gave me before he died.

I appreciate the fact that you do it and the honesty of all participants. It reaches me when most I know still live in that other world where they have no idea what we go through.

THANKS

Sent by Irene | 9:49 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy and ALL,
I have been dealing with my cancers since i was 30---i am noy 64. I am the Lucky one as there have always been "new" things to try..ie surgeries, and chemos.In the last 5 years, in this battle, the cancers have escalated and my options have dwindled to trials and "we'll try this ..just in case" type meds(new chemo). All this being said i must tell you i thought i "knew it all"....but reading this blog has shown me i don't and i am greatful to ALL of you. Your compassion is overwhelming and understanding is greatly appreciated. Thank you ALL. I have always been optomistic and full of spunk outwadly, but it's been tough inside. I now know i can blog my feelings without making my family suffer anymore than they have. Thank you for my new place. Take care ALL and have a good one!! xo dee

Sent by dee | 9:53 AM ET | 08-21-2007

I have learned so much from this blog. One lesson is that I do not want my friends or family to come see me because I have cancer. So I am reaching out to my friends to spend time with each other now not later. I don't have cancer now, but I do have to have a "special view" mammogram on Friday. Follow up mammos run in my family but so far no cancer. But think good thoughts for me for Friday

Sent by Dianne in DC | 10:07 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Hi Leroy,

Welcome to your "new normal." That's where those of us with cancer go at the exact moment of diagnosis. Nothing will ever be the same again. That's not necessarily a bad thing. What's bad is that we didn't get to choose to go to this strange new land. For the vast majority of us, loss of the control we thought we had, is one of the worst parts of the diagnosis and treatment of cancer. For those of us who have been diagnosed "terminal" (who do you know isn't terminal, eventually?)
knowing what we will sooner or later die from is small comfort.

Sorry you had such a scare last week with your loved one. As cancer patients we always think the worst. That comes with the territory. How wonderful that the scarey and huge lump is only a cyst!

I remember congratulating a fellow bc patient on her diagnosis of a simple arm fracture caused by a fall and not by bone met progression as she had feared. Do you remember the last time you celebrated with a friend because your friend "only" fractured his/her arm?

The only people who truly understand our journey are fellow travelers. How lucky we are to be able to communicate online this way.

Sue

It's a whole new world, isn't it!

Sent by Sue | 10:08 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy,

It's so sad that sometimes it takes a brush with death for us or a loved one to make us aware of how precious life really is and how much that person means to us. It truly makes all the other superficial crap fall away - money, a big house, all the trappings of success - really mean nothing without the people you love to share it with. My mother, who is battling the cancer right now, can't read this blog. That isn't her way. She handles it by joking with her oncologist, and the nurses. I can't handle NOT reading it. Not only have I come to care for everyone here, but it gives me an outlet to share my own feelings and a realization that there are so many others walking this same scary, sad path. I say things here that I can't even share with her, because I don't want to upset her, and want to always remain positive and upbeat, when frankly, I'm scared to death. I want to thank you for providing this forum, and reiterate again how I pray for everyone here. I simply say, "Bless, heal, and comfort all those on the Cancer Blog". I can't remember all your names, but God knows. Much love and comfort to all, and Leroy, I hope your loved one continues to get good news with their latest burden.

Sent by Connie E. | 10:10 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Often times, when I am touched by something you have written, I try not to read the posts of others and express myself.

Today the words of others in this community are so powerful, and full of passion. It was hard not to read them and I am not sure I can express anything more effective or beautiful than the other members of this community already have.

The blog and this community put words around my experience as my young son goes through chemotherapy. The community understood what imapact a relapse had on our family - and would never suggest that it would be easy as we had been there done that and knew what to expect.

This community's willingness to share helped eliminate some isolation, some fear. The isolation has been great, and we have lost the support of so many whom we thought would support us. But we have gain a richness in our life that only those here can understand.

Your blog, and this community, gave us so much more piece of mind, words around experiences and feelings, laughter, and even moments of joy than we ever expected. In a word - it provided HOPE.

This community has fed the strong person that I really am, allowing me to process our expereinces by reading yours, and those of the other community members. Through this, I was able to be my strong self for my son and my family.

This blog and its community gave me the courage to choose to suppport others battling the Beast and live strong as the say goes. I completed grad school this spring and will move to oncology social work in the fall - outside the hospital setting, helping folks live well and strong as they and their families battle the Beast.

Thank you Leroy and all of you. I could not have made it this far without you.
You are AMAZING.

Sent by Melissa T | 10:10 AM ET | 08-21-2007

The diagnosis of cancer...a total shock especially after my doctor said it was probably nothing. A kick in the gut I was not prepared, didn't see it coming.

I do not want death to approach me the same way. I had no way to prepare for cancer, but I can think about death and perhaps take away some of the blow that death delivers

I would welcome knowing the exact date. I don't like wondering when it will come.

So no way to prepare for the onslaught of cancer, but perhaps I can for death.

It is much too easy to stay in denial. After all, day to day life is pretty much the same. I am in no physical discomfort.

Cancer caught me by surprise, I do not want death to catch me by surprise.

Sent by judy | 10:14 AM ET | 08-21-2007

It is with great love for all of you on this blog that I participate here. I too started posting and reading after watching the living with cancer show. This blog, Leroy and all of you, have been a little piece of heaven and a great source of comfort for me. No matter how sick, or how depressed I was thru this treatment, I could always find the strength to make it here...like coming home, to people who really care.
Thank you all.
Liz

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 10:24 AM ET | 08-21-2007

What a fantastic community the is! I can only echo what others have said above. This blog is a source of comfort and strength, a daily haven in the midst of any physical, emotional and/or coping difficulties. We have all seemed to connect in such a special way.

Thank you, Leroy, for undertaking this task. Back in the last week of June 2006, when you began your daily writings you wrote, "I'm sure you'll all get tired of hearing just about me, so my goal is to turn this into a real dialogue." I think that you and NPR have long surpassed that goal. But, one thing --- I don't believe any of your readers are tiring of hearing about you. Because, you are writing about each of us, in one way or another.

Sent by Sheara | 10:52 AM ET | 08-21-2007

I live alone so going through treatment has been challenging for sure. Reading this blog helps me feel i'm not really alone on this journey.
thank you Leroy and everyone!
jenn

Sent by Jenn | 11:05 AM ET | 08-21-2007

"On a barren, ravaged plain of pain,
I stand alone, isolated-
On a scoured mesa of malignancy."

That's the way we all start out our survivor journey. Then, when we can "talk it out", either on this site or in Support groups,the isolation dissapears. The healing can begin.
Love, Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 11:07 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Leroy and All,

Many say that with age and experience comes wisdom. I believe this only to be partially true as learning still is a choice. Everyone that posts here has made the choice to learn from what experience they are living through. It is such a beautiful thing that there is an entire community here of people making the decision to expand their hearts ability for compassion and Leroy has been the ring leader.

This is an amazing place where people can have a bad day, a good day, agree or disagree and still feel part of the group without fear of being dismissed. Unique indeed.

I have not posted for some time as it seems the damage of radiation has krept up on me now after enjoying over a lucky month of feeling totally normal. Even in the past week or so of being too ill to type I would read Leroy's words and everyone's posts and know that someone had been "here" before me and that I wasn't in it alone. There was comfort in that.

Thanks Leroy and all for your bravery and honesty. Is this what they mean by "there's safety in numbers"?

Hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 11:13 AM ET | 08-21-2007

I read your blog every day, but have not commented in a while. Two years ago I wasn't sure I'd be here today. I was diagnosed two weeks before my son's 12th birthday. Today he is turning 14! I just received a clean bill of health at my 2 year mark and in the last two weeks watched 2 friends die from cancer. Both of my friends lived with dignity and courage in very different ways. One started a local organization for breast cancer, the other quietly continued to practice his recovery and never went back to drinking even after he was diagnosed. Both friends were important to my cancer journey and taught me so much... as do all of you. I have had a difficult two weeks saying good bye, waiting for tests, and watching my son struggle as well. Yet, I am alive to see him grow today. I am alive another day. Life is such a paradox of agony and beauty. I, like you Leroy before all of this didn't know what I know now. I needed a pretty big wake up call to set my priorities straight. Yet, even now I still struggle. I am human in all of its glory and wretchedness. I am human. I have learned to turn to the God of my understanding for the comfort even the best of people around me can't give. I have learned that although we as humans have our limitations we all have a wealth of love and understanding and compassion to give and receive. I want to say I could have and would have learned the same lessons in different and softer ways, but I don't believe that to be true. I am not afraid to die, but I still have a healthy fear of not living my life to its full potential, whatever that means on any given day. That fear works to keep me in check and to rediscover my humanity and the humanity of those around me. Most of all I've learned to forgive those who don't know and forgive me for judging them and myself. And, when I'm stuck in the despair life brings my way I need to reach out for love and compassion and reach in for forgiveness and acceptance. I so admire all of the honesty and fearlessness this blog and its commenters display each and every day. It keeps me where I need to be and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Missy

Sent by Missy | 11:18 AM ET | 08-21-2007

I have to echo what many have already said - this blog has helped me stay sane through my own cancer journey. The community aspect of it is so comforting; I definitely feel so much less alone since reading and contributing.

A quick note to Nancy Clark - I was so sorry to read of your new mets last week. I seem to remember you have scans today - I'm sending my thoughts and prayers your way.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 11:26 AM ET | 08-21-2007

My first cancer diagnosis was in August of 2004, and since then I have given and received support in cancer wellness support groups, in the chemo room or waiting for appointments with other patients, in conferences such as Emory's Celebration of Living, and on this blog. It has most definitely been a lesson from cancer to reach out to others when appropriate, and my thoughts and prayers today are with all in this blog community.

Sent by Karen Q | 11:36 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy/All

First I would like to thank every one of you dear people for your heartfelt comments regarding my post yesterday.

Again, I would also like to thank Leroy for giving us this "safe place" Here is a prayer for all of us who care deeply enough to belong to this wonderful blog family.

"Today help me God to let go of my resistance to change. Help me to accept things as they are. Help me to know that there is a better place. Help me to surrender, trust and accept, even if I dont understand.

God Bless us all.................sasha

Sent by sasha | 11:36 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy,
Because of you and your daily Blog, Sasha and I have become email pals. We have shared our trials and tribulations and have found much support from each other. No one understands another caregiver's role except another caregiver. Thank you again for all of the time and effort you have put into this endeavor.

Sent by Elaine | 11:46 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Hi Leroy,

I think, we are all strangers in a strange land, whether we are patients or care givers. Education is good and will help deal with situations that others have already had to deal with. I believe I have said this before, I have received more help from this blog then I did from going to a therapist.

Thank you to all!

Sent by Susan Chap | 11:52 AM ET | 08-21-2007

Leroy,

By one vehicle or another, we are all going to go to the "strange land" someday. I have so appreciated the opportunity you provide for us to share and to test thoughts and ideas. All of us will need support at some time in our lives, certainly at the end.

By "going public" with your personal story, you are making it easier for everyone to be realistic about the dying process. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:09 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Before my diagnosis I knew people with cancer, lost family menbers to cancer, but never thought I would have cancer. Not me, I was young, worked out and was in good shape. Well, now here I am with cancer. I know more now about it than I want to, but I think cancer has made me a better person. I care more for people now, not just friends and family but everyone. Maybe I won't live as long as I want to, but while I'm here I'm a better person. God bless

Sent by David White | 12:50 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Good Afternoon Leroy and All,

Leroy, your blog today is beautiful and the compassion expressed by everyone is overwhelming, from poetry and prayers to
heartfelt personal expressions. This is truly a wonderful community!

As we reach out to others in understanding we all gain so much in growth within ourselves. And the burdeons get lighter because there are so many more hands and hearts to help carry the load.

We are all willing to wrap our arms around others to help them along the way: Cyn, who is facing surgery on the 23rd. A speedy recovery, my friend. Nikki, who is mourning her husband, I am so glad you found that picture, love and comfort. Melissa, congratulations on you degree and I know you will find success as an Oncology Social Worker, you have traveled the road in Cancer World. Judy, caught by surprise by cancer, don't set a date with death, make it look hard and long for you. Lori, welcome back and quick recovery from the radiation. My heart goes out to all of you and everyone on this blog.

Now I ask for your prayers for my friend, Pat. She is in her third relapse with ovarian cancer and now on weekly chemo. Please keep her in your
prayers.

Also my CA-125 is continuing to rise and my remission may be slipping away. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. It really means a lot to me!!

God Bless,

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 1:22 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Being homebound and not able to drive at this time, this blog has been my support system. I have felt so isolated and now each a.m. I am able to connect with the most beautiful souls. Leroy, thank you. Blog family, thank you. Each and everyone, old timers to the blog and those of us who discovered you because of your special and those of us who will happen upon this site, you are in my daily prayers. Heather purchased a t-site that says "I am stronger than cancer." It is my new mission statement in life. II have been dealing with cancer since 1998 and it feels as though sometimes on a fast track that I don't always have time to catch up to. With this blog, I am able to sort through so much = emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. What a gift you have given us, Leroy. Thank you a zilliion times over. God bless each and everyone. And ditto to Sasha's blog.

Sent by Kay | 1:24 PM ET | 08-21-2007

I am nearing the 14th anniversary of my diagnosis of breast cancer and I am so grateful to still be here. Although I breathe a little easier these days, I never feel as if I am totally out of the shadow of this beast. I take comfort in being connected with this blog and I am grateful that others have also had a chance at this connection. Leroy, your personal journey has brought so many of us together and I thank you deeply for this.

Warmly, Betsey

Sent by betsey kuzia | 1:53 PM ET | 08-21-2007

It helps to have a thanksgiving heart when you go through hard time like this. Thank you for pointing out your lesson, your understanding for the last 6 years.

Sent by helen | 2:03 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Since my sister-in-law was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon cancer with liver mets 12 months ago, I have gained information and immeasurable support from the people who have been willing to share their lives on this site (Leroy, you most of all). Thank you doesn't begin to express my gratitude to all of you.
We found out today that Pat's second-line has failed. Her oncologist is now talking about Yttruim 90 Therasphere. Has anyone had experience with this? Or even heard of it?
Myrna

Sent by Myrna Baker | 2:31 PM ET | 08-21-2007

The first commentary on NPR I heard struck a distinct chord. Leroy talked about how he was supposed to be dead by then. I was facing the same situation. His discussion of becoming the comforter as you share the news, once again had yelling, "Yes" at the radio.

Monday's post also hit close to home. The weekend my hair fell out my husband had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance due to chest pains. It seemed so unreal. He was the partner most likely to have health issues before my diagnosis but it already felt strange to have our roles reversed again. As I rode in the ambulance I wondered what the driver and paramedics thought about my scarf as I was terrified for my beloved partner.

There have been so many common themes shared through this blog. It is wonderful, yet somewhat sad to think that there are so many of us sharing in this path.

To Vicki, Sasha, Nancy and the rest of our family facing new challenges I hope you are comforted by those of us who are here and hear. To Leroy once again thank you for this forum and your gift of words to us.

Sent by Dona | 2:49 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Many Thanks to you all & especially you Leroy from one of the many caregivers that learn here. I have learned so much more than just about cancer/ I've come away with a new appreciation daily of the human spirit (s) & the ability to soar & slay this cancer beast. The adversities that we/you share bring a special clarity to our journeys through life.
Godspeed.

Sent by Cyn | 3:03 PM ET | 08-21-2007

One of the main functions and blessings of this blog is in giving those of us affected by cancer a voice. I've been a nurse long enough to remember when cancer was often a secret subject, and patients with cancer were left in the dark about their disease and treatments, and no one talked about it. I can only imagine the many patients who suffered isolation, depression and fear, and had no one to talk with about it.
Cancer is a tricky subject for the unitiated or uninvolved. It scares people. Some people can't handle hearing about it, or about what we go through in living with cancer. There is avoidance, minimizing and denial in dealing with our issues from many people as we live in cancer world. I've found this blog, and the breastcancer.org chat room to be invaluable in coping with this whole experience, and the emotional, physical and spiritual trials that I've been through. As I once told a reporter, there is a kind of trench mentality among cancer patients. We overuse the war analogy, but I imagine that soldiers have similar bonds of common and terrifying experience that tests them to their limits.
Since my oncologist called me 6 days ago and told me that my CT scans of the day before had shown that I now have a cancerous lesion in my liver, I've been surprised at how composed and calm I've felt after the initial shockwaves subsided. I've gotten great support here, and from the bco chat room, and I know that whatever happens, I won't be alone, and that people will be praying for me, and caring about what happens. To all who have sent wishes and prayers my way, thank you. We truly are family, even though we probably will never meet. That we are is truly a miracle. I often feel how lucky we are to be able to share our deepest thoughts and fears with people, some in other countries, some from nearby, about this cancer life. May there soon be no need for blogs and chat rooms that deal with cancer.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 4:09 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy:
It is late afternoon and I have just gotten to the blog and comments, something I usually do early each morning.
I am amazed by the coincidence of today's subject and contributions, because this afternoon I took a call from a social worker at the cancer center where I was treated nearly 4 years ago. Though she was calling my husband regarding hospital business, I spoke to her at length about you, your essays and the community who offer their experiences, feelings and support here. I wanted her to become acquainted with this website and to share it with the people she deals with in the support groups she facilitates. Though each day here in this special "neighborhood" is moving, comforting and amazing, today's entries could not have been more perfect for her to read.
To Leroy, to all who write in, and to all who do not write in but faithfully visit each day, I want to say I am honored to be in your company and have you a part of my life journey, as I am a part of yours.

Sent by Harriet | 5:23 PM ET | 08-21-2007

For Cyn Hennard: You will be on my mind this week as you undergo your lung
surgery. I had my upper right lobe removed last September and am doing
very well. Your surgery is certainly more complex and I wish for you the
best care and a speedy recovery. Sending lots of positive energy to you.
Here is what I used to tell myself: Left foot. Right foot. Breathe. Left
foot. Right foot. Breathe. I also wish you a very happy 70th birthday.

Sent by Sandy Fisher | 6:03 PM ET | 08-21-2007

I've learned to broaden my thinking thanks to all of you. I realized I was clinging to dreams that might or most likely won't happen. I went on an eye opening cruise with my husband. Now I've agreed to sell our house, downsize so we can have more time with each other rather than deal with a giant house and yard. I also found out I can go on Bob's insurance (for about $500 a month) instead of continuing to work for my own. The stress is peeling away and I feel a bit better physically as well as mentally. Still waiting to know if the new chemo works. The dose was higher than it should have been, but I'm recovering and we'll get it right shortly. best to everyone

Sent by Cheryl McDowell | 8:18 PM ET | 08-21-2007

All of you wonderful people who are just so thoughtful and articulate make me cry. You all "get it".

Linda H.

Sent by linda | 8:31 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Dear Leroy, You are such a gracious and generous human being. I feel expanded and moved each time I read your posts. I come home at the end of a long day, look for your message, and feel refreshed. Thank you.

Sent by Sally Jenkins | 9:08 PM ET | 08-21-2007

As a lurker for sometime, many thanks to all of you for such beautiful words of comfort. Eileen, I am also a OVCA survivor in Charlotte.

Sent by Patsy | 9:38 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Leroy,
I first discovered your site when my husband and I were battling his lung cancer. I lost him to that monster almost five months ago but I continue to want to hear from you and wish you well each day.I wanted to share this with you:

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited....
It Cannot Cripple Love
It Cannot Shatter Hope
It Cannot Corrode Faith
It Cannot Kill Friendship
It Cannot Suppress Memories
It Cannot Silence Courage
It Cannot Invade the Soul
It Cannot Steal Eternal Life
It Cannot Conquer the Spirit
(Author Unknown)

May God bless you each day. You touch so many lives.

Sent by Jane Garrett | 10:12 PM ET | 08-21-2007

It is a wonderful thing to lose the sense of isolation and frustration of being the one in my circle with a dreaded disease, surrounded by others who just can't relate to or understand my cancer influenced way of life. (I'm not in the throes of aggressive treatment now, so it no longer commandeers my life.) This blog has accomplished that.

And for Briana,
I spotted your posting from early this morning to yesterday's post. This is where you can just pour it all out to people who understand.

I just want to tell you that there are caring, compassionate, communicative doctors out there. I found a few for myself. (I needed one from each branch of onco, just about.) I needed a doctor who would tell me whatever I felt I needed to know... If you don't feel a sense that this is someone you can talk to, and who will really listen to you and your concerns, knowing that you are going through something frightening, try someone else. Go in for a consultation until you find someone you feel comfortable with, and possibly comforted by. After all, this is a very important and hopefully longterm relationship. I have also experienced that going to a smaller practice, affiliated with a larger institute, can give you the best of both, usually closer to home.
Please keep us posted.

Sent by Lilly T. | 10:48 PM ET | 08-21-2007

Leroy, etc, todays blog Reminds me of a stevie wonder song...

And I Never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned I'm glad I got the chance to say That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today
And than if you can't remember.....

Keep smilin' Keep shinin'
Knowin' you can always count on me
for sure that's what friends are for

In good times And bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and open me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you....

Ohhh and then For the times when we're apart Well just close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can't remember....

Keep Smiling, Keep shining, knowing you can always count on me...that's what friends are for...

Sent by Beth | 12:13 AM ET | 08-22-2007

To Nancy Clark

First and foremost... you are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to find peace.

I survived those years you speak of.. when cancer was taboo to talk about.. when each patient was isolated and so very ALONE... it took me 30+ years to find my voice...

I will be silent no more!!

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 7:27 AM ET | 08-22-2007

Dear Leroy,

Thank you. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. It spread to my liver, my right lung and my esophagus. I started with Chemo and have been very fortunate that I do not get sick. My reaction has been tiredness and some real emotional issues. I'm not afraid to die. It's more of the things I will miss. The sun rising and setting; the smell of a flower, the evening sky. my family and friends.

I started my own blog and it has helped me to understand my cancer. I write poetry; I write some tech stuff about pancreatic cancer and try to write a daily post about myself dealing with Cancer.

I look at myself in the mirror and I say you look good. With no sever reaction to the Chemo I do NOT look sick. I'm losing my hair, but it still looks okay.
So it's hard for people to believe I have terminal Cancer. This makes it much more difficult to have conversations about it.

Thank you for listening to me and I hope you can visit my blog. It is www.jorenge.blogspot.com

Sent by Josephine Monteleone | 6:35 AM ET | 08-25-2007

hi all!

I have a freind named Jo Monteleone and.
she has cancer there is an organization
named Croc and they failed her this great women who cared for me when I did not feel that I could go on she taught.
Me so much about myself and how to cope.
With sadness set backs and pain I am.
Definatley sad to lose her but I now know that she will be at peace and.
Though she passes and is leaving us.
She will always live forever in my heart.

Sent by Tina Marie Provost | 9:54 PM ET | 09-11-2007