I hold you in my prayers.

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 7:24 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I'd missed your last couple of posts getting ready for my colonoscopy. Everything went well. I'm glad to find that you are doing as well as circumstances allow.

My kids and I joke that what doesn't kill me makes me bitter. I think that applies here.

Sent by Crawford | 7:30 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

Rest this weekend and heal. Be kind to yourself. Take your medication for pain before it gets too bad. Turn off the computer after you read all the posts of encouragement I know you will receive.

Continued prayers to all.

Sent by Susan Chap | 7:46 AM ET | 08-10-2007

No words Leroy except may the pain pass as quickly as possible. I am thankful for the time you have "bought" through your pain. Selfish but true.

Much love,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 7:50 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy--I hope that the pain gets taken care of my treatment...and that you have pain specialists to deal with things pharmaceutically if possible. Sending thoughts your way--Krupali

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 7:56 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear friend:
May you soon be totally free of pain.
Thinking of you with love and healing wishes.

Sent by Harriet | 7:58 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I hope that knowing you are doing absolutely everything you can to prolong your life is a resolution that helps to somehow balance out your pain. I wish you well.

Sent by Rebecca | 8:09 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Hi Leroy,

Drugs can be a very thing. But the problem with them is, the relief you are trying to achieve can only be gotten from taking them consistantly and absolutely on time. Even if you feel as if the pain is tolerable, take the drugs.

The worst pain I ever felt was post surgery. It lasted for about 4 weeks. During that time, I sincerely doubted if what I did was the right thing to do. But I knew oodles of others had the same surgery and survived. So, I took the drugs and moved only when necessary. The drugs really only went so far in relieving the pain but they did help me some. My husband made sure I took them on time every dose, although for a while there I was counting the seconds until it was time for the next pill. One day, I was about an hour late in taking them. That's when I found out it was cumulative relief and a break in take them sent you back to square one. That never happened again.

So take the drugs. Take them on time. Don't kid yourself that you feel better. It's not forever, just to help you safely over this rough patch.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 8:10 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this. Just keep takeing things one day at a time. Take those pills, get some sleep and hopefully by Monday when we hear from you again that pain will be gone. Stay strong.

Sent by dorothy | 8:11 AM ET | 08-10-2007

each day will get better for you leroy,
even if it doesnt seem like it.
take care
jenn

Sent by Jenn | 8:11 AM ET | 08-10-2007

hang on Leroy. I know its hard but keep your eyes on the prize and just scream every once it in a while. Im praying for a release of the pain for you...

Sent by Sarah Senter | 8:35 AM ET | 08-10-2007

At this time, drugs are your friends! As you know so well, pain is very debilitating..physically, mentally and emotionally.. so it can impair your ability heal. Wishing you Relief and Healing!

Blessings and prayers as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:35 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,
I agree with Teri - you must take your pain medications regularly and on time for them to be effective. As a Nurse I worked in substance abuse and was hesitant to take my pain meds. In fact yesterday was a day of pain for me so I had to take my meds regularly. In doing so I was able to function and not be nasty and crying all day when my husband's family had traveled to see us and give us comfort. So rest and take your medicines and feel better. That is what you are supposed to do - it is NOT heroic to not take them. Thank you for writing in spite of your pain.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 8:36 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy,

I'm just checking on you this morning and hoping that today brings some relief. Keep taking one day at a time.

Sent by MEA | 8:38 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Hi Leroy,

Ditto to what everyone else is saying, take those pain pills so u can heal and rest. My prayers and thoughts are with you,

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:55 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you've been in pain for so long. I hope you feel better soon. I admire your efforts to put a positive spin on all you've gone through. I'm sure that helps a lot of people.

A devoted reader in Cincinnati

Sent by Jane | 8:56 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I know each of us wish we could take a piece of your pain ourselves to spare you from having to go through it. I'm so sorry Leroy. But that doesn't really help a bit, does it?

But it does help somewhat to yell at your doctor. Give it a try.

Prayers that you will feel painfree very soon.

Sent by Jordis | 8:59 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, for the first and probably the only time, I'm going to ask you for a favor. PLEASE put your column here on hold until you're out of this debilitating pain. If you don't feel significantly better by Monday, don't feel obligated to post anything.

Believe me, we'll wait for you.....

Sent by LIO | 9:03 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy - after one of my most painful surgeries I actually had to finally "trade-up" for stronger meds.....my husband and I were so discouraged for about 24 hours we were both in tears (his out of frustration) -and we finally resolved that we had to always remember to hang on until the new day and the sunshine - and things would get better and it would be another day that we "moved away from the pain"......wishing you a very, very bright morning tomorrow and much peace and relief this weekend!

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 9:04 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I support wholeheartedly the advice Teri gave you. I've had 3 thoracic surgeries for lung cancer and each time, I tried to back off the pain meds too soon. Going back to square one is exactly right.

As experienced contributors here have said - pain medication is your best friend at this time. There is no good reason to try and do without. I was told that if I allowed the pain to persist, my body could become used to it and taking pain meds later would not be as effective.

I took strong pain meds for close to 3 months and it was easy to stop. My body told me when it was time. I would go several hours past the pill interval without noticing - that was when I knew I could begin to taper off.

Wishing you relief and courage. So pleased your procedures have been effective.

Sent by Sara (MD) | 9:05 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy keep ahead of the pain with the drugs. Rest and repair. You are in my daily intentions.

Sent by Pat Zalewski | 9:16 AM ET | 08-10-2007

As I wish you healing. This is the time for the drugs.. the drugs that others in the world abuse, but sometimes we so dearly need, but not want. You're in my thoughts.

Sent by Chanda | 9:18 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy:
We are HOLDING you UP in PRAYER, God will help you with the pain! Just relax and take care of yourself! God will do the rest!

Sent by Joan | 9:18 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy - The pain is hard. I wish I could wipe it away. Be strong Leroy.

Sent by Julie Pietras | 9:25 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Hi Leroy, Thanks for thinking of us when you are having such a difficult time yourself. I'm so glad that there are so many half-full outcomes. Take the pain meds and take them without hesitation. A lot of us in the past used to tough it out and avoid pain meds but at this stage of the game give yourself the relief that these medicines can bring. Then you can sleep better and rest will help the healing. You're in my prayers. Kim

Sent by Kim Barbato | 9:28 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy,

Become addicted while you need them - get off of them later. I am personally such a weenie when it comes to pain, that's what I would do. Better living through chemistry.

I'm so glad everything worked and you got the results you hoped to get.May that trend continue!

Sent by Diana Kitch | 9:32 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I am sorry for your pain. Thank you for doing your blog work here despite it. What courage you have.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers this weekend

Sent by Melissa T | 9:35 AM ET | 08-10-2007

The pain will pass. After I had an oesophagectomy (removal of the oesophagus due to cancer) there was a time when they could not give me any painkillers as I had pneumonia and kidney failure, only the love of my husband kept me alive. The pain passed and I am still here 6 months later. Keep taking any painkillers they give you!

Sent by Aoife | 9:36 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, I speak first hand too, like so many others here, drugs are your friend right now. I tried to go without at first and learned it was a really stupid thing to do. Kick back, do your drugs, the pain will pass. You're in my prayers too.

Sent by Ruth White | 9:49 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Take the meds and focus on the positive.

As a lung cancer survivor, I am sending you all the positive energy I can summon and have total empathy for the path your life is taking.

Sent by Peggy Miles | 9:49 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy,
You have been through sooo much in the past couple of days. You are in my thoughts. I, too, don't like pain meds but, for now, stay on top of the pain and try to take the meds as scheduled...
Remember, 'this too shall pass.'
I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers!!!

Sent by lisa | 10:02 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I'm so sorry you have to deal with so much pain. I've been there and it is truly awful. As much as I hate taking pain medication (and other meds) they sure made a big difference.

I remember wondering at the time if living with so much pain was worth it. It absolutely was.

I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive vibs as I lay on the table today getting my CAT scan.

I hope your weekend is easier and happier for you than this week was. Know that we all care.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:02 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Sending good thoughts your way for quick healing and diminished pain.

Sent by Sheara | 10:09 AM ET | 08-10-2007

I hate this but...... "this too, shall pass". Rest, meds, know that we care. xo dee

Sent by Dee Congress | 10:12 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Because you hurt, we hurt. I know that probably doesn't help much but it's what we've got to offer right now.

I'm wishing for nothing but peace and sleep for you this weekend. The pain will pass, the sun will rise. Hang on.

Sent by Karole Ives | 10:24 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Hold on, Leroy ... better days are surely ahead. Don't be afraid of the pain pills. Take them BEFORE the pain is severe. We learned this the hard way because my husband was afraid of getting addicted to them. Let them work to relieve the pain so you can return to us.

May God bless you and heal you this weekend.

Sent by Dianne in NV | 10:39 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, my heart hurts for you. Hope you will be pain free soon. You said it all "I wish healing for all of us."
Cancer treatment is just plain hard!

Love,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty Lewis | 10:49 AM ET | 08-10-2007

My heart is breaking for you Leroy..hang in there buddy. I'm relating in a real personal way. In 12 days I get my left upper (maybe more) lung removed and the tumor is sitting real close to the heart. I already know they will cut and sew 2 or 3 ribs. I dread the pain I know is coming...mostly, because there isn't any right now..no symptoms that I can feel. When I wake up and face the monster, I will think of you and your courageous crawl through this maze of cancer. It will give me strength.

I hope your pain is short-lived and that there are many love-filled, pain-free days and years left for you. Hang in there, my friend.

Love, good Karma, and peace to all in 'cancer world'.

Sent by Cyn Hennard (Vermont) | 10:55 AM ET | 08-10-2007

You speak for all of us, those who continue to survive the beast and those who now make peace with the beast. We hold each other in our collective heart and soul. By sharing your/our story, you lessen the pain.

Sent by Shirley 9 year NHL survivor | 11:02 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Wishing you pain-free, joyous days spent with those you love doing everything that you love doing.

Thank you for giving so much of yourself to us and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We love you.

Sent by Sydney lantz | 11:07 AM ET | 08-10-2007

It hurts to think of you suffering. Tell your doctors you need something stronger!You are in my prayers and in my heart.

Sent by Doris | 11:16 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, I wish you quick pain relief. Yesterday I went for my maintenance rituxan, then on to a orthopedist for cortisone shots in both elbow and shoulder. To say the least I hurt today. My cancer is back and I start radiation the 20th with a 95% cure of this one spot. So I am ok with it being back. He can't say it won't come back somewhere else, but hey 95% is a great number to me right now.

Get some rest, and Thank YOU for being real.

Sent by Beth | 11:24 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Hi Leroy, I just read your note from yesteday and today. Good and bad news. Day by day, minute by minute sometimes I had to take it. Re: the pain meds, when I was on taxotere which causes bone pain I would wait until later in the day when the pain had worn me out and then take the pills. I don't know about back pain though: the few times I've put the back out there was noplace to hide, no position I could stand, no action that I could perform. So I hope they kill the pain for you. There's actually study information that when you take it as prescribed the "fuzzyness" wears off and it just plain ol' kills the pain for you. Since they upset my stomach I need to take a zofran or a protonix, eat some yogurt, and take senna with them. I hope you don't have the same problem. Sending all the best and hoping that the healing up will be fast...

Sent by Alycia Keating | 11:24 AM ET | 08-10-2007

When I was younger and worked in the insurance industry. I participated in worker's compensation claim reviews for our clients. How well I remember the claims adjusters saying that pain is not disabling and should not keep people from working. If I were to be in those meetings today I would have a lot to say! Like you don't know what you are talking about!!!!
Leroy, take the pills and take care of yourself. This too shall pass and I hope very soon. You and everyone else I know with the big "C" are in my prayers.
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 11:44 AM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy,

I'm new to your blog over just the past month or so. You are a beautiful writer and you sound like a wonderful person too. I'm sorry you are in so much pain, and I hope you get some relief soon. I'm thinking of you, and so are many, many others you've touched.

Best,

Leslie

Sent by Leslie | 11:52 AM ET | 08-10-2007

*adds her somewhat off-key voice to the chorus -- after recently having fallen out of _that_ tree herself*

Staying ahead of the pain is good advice, even in the face of possible withdrawal symptoms when you can finally stop taking pain medications.

Some pain has been severe enough that trying to employ any kind of mindful, meditative, relaxation technique was a ludicrous waste of time and energy... *shrugs*

Having now flunked chemotherapy, we're preparing for radiation therapy...

Thank you for being a voice!

Be well.

Sent by dp | 11:55 AM ET | 08-10-2007

So glad to hear about the glass half-full! May the meds carry you to fields of healing. You are amazing. Here's to much time ahead waking and sleeping without pain.

Sent by Marcia | 12:00 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Take the drugs.
Your body cannot heal if it is spending time on pain. I never understood this until I had my surgery and I thought I would do it without drugs. Bad idea.
Next time, I took the drugs and was amazed at the speed of recovery without pain compared with the speed of recovery with pain.

Glad you are above ground! (that's what my oncologist says to me)

Sent by Robin | 12:01 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Hello Leroy. I have to second Al on this one. You have enough for your body to fight while it's trying to heal itself; the pain only diverts much needed reserves. As my Dr. told me "The drugs are there for pain relief. Don't hesitate to take them if you need them." Right now you need pain-free relief and rest. Take time to spoil yourself for as long as is needed! I think I can honestly say that's a prescription from all of us here on the blog to you.

Sent by Randal Gray | 12:03 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,
I pray that your pain passes quickly. Please take your pain meds every how many hours it says even if you are feeling better....it is easier to control the pain than to get it back under control when it gets bad.
Wishing you relief.
Miriam

Sent by Miriam | 12:24 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Take the drugs.. what is the worst that could happen? Rush Limbaugh was taking over 40 percoset a day and he was still.... ok.. not a good example... but take the drugs anyway...
Good Luck and Feel Better.

Sent by Brit | 12:24 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Hello,

You were prescribed drugs for a reason; use them. There's no bravery award for not taking them. You won't become addicted in a matter of days. Please don't suffer needlessly.

Sent by Sarah | 12:26 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, The pain sometimes is so bad there is nothing else, nothing but pain. Other times the pain is evasive, it is there for certain, but you can't quite say where it is coming from. Then there are times when it is like back ground noise. Cancer brings so many gifts to the table. I pray the next two or three days pass quickly! Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:38 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Hey Leroy,
Hang in there tuff guy. You can do it. I've got you in my prayers and thoughts. Try to take all your meds and get better this weekend. Love ya

Sent by Teresa in WV | 12:41 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Wishing you, Leroy, and everyone in pain for whatever reason, anywhere on the planet, comfort, healing and hope.

Sent by Anne C. | 12:46 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take a break from the computer, take your meds and grit your teeth to ride out another large bump in the cancer journey. Take care and God bless you.

Sent by Lou Loggi | 1:54 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Blessings to you, Leroy. May the pain not last long. Don't be afraid to use the pain meds--you won't always need them! Take care and know that you are held up in many prayers.

Sent by Tina Barbour | 1:55 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Here in Germany a pain specialist worked with my husband to help him identify when more pain meds were needed. The consensus here seems to be that when pain can be managed it should. A good pain free nights sleep sounds like something your body would really appreciate after all it went through this week.

Mind your doctors.

Sent by Irene | 2:00 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, I was so sorry to read today that you've been in pain for some time. I hope that your journey through it isn't too long. And Laurie, my thoughts are with you as well - I know that it is so very hard to watch someone you care about be in pain, and not have the power to do much about it. We are all out here wishing the best for you.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 2:04 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

So sorry to hear you are in such pain. Please chill and take care of yourself. Don't try to be tough now. Take the drugs, take lots of the drugs. Don't suffer if you don't have to. Much love and comfort to all.

Connie E.

Sent by Connie E. | 3:25 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Prayers and hugs to you, Leroy. I pray the pain will soon pass. I'm finally home from treatment...there's no feeling like being at home! I had my post-therapy scans, but won't get results from that until next week...not stressing though, there's nothing I can do to pass the time any faster. It just sucks b/c I have to maintain distance from everyone, especially my six-month old Sophia, for the next two weeks, due to being radioactive!!! I'll take that instead of pain! Take the pain pills--get some rest--breath--I hope it passes quickly, Leroy! With love!

Sent by Tess from KY | 4:31 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy,

I haven't been reading your blog very long--what a great service you're doing for both cancer warriors and their supporters!!

Of course, everyone is right. Stay covered on the meds. I hope you have some one to watch the time for you--even when sleeping you need to stay on time.

My husband had the 'cement/glue' procedure. He also didn't realize how much pain he'd been in until it was gone. The next time you'll be on top of it.

Keep fighting the good fight. You have a lot of people caring about you.

Kathy

Sent by Kathy Barney | 4:53 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy,
I hope when you are more comfortable you will reread the postings from the last few days. The outpouring of concern for you is extra ordinary and may give your spirits a lift. It seems more remarkable when you consider that most posters have serious health issues of their own. I am regularly moved by the thoughtfulness and generousity of the people who contribute to this blog. I attribute this to your spirit and example as much as anything else.
Wishing you speedy relief from your current misery.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 5:03 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

I'm adding my get well wishes to your ever growing list. We have you and Laurie and all your family and friends in our thoughts and prayers. I know you are in severe pain because any surgical procedure that involves work on bones or nerves is very painful. And you had both going at the same time, OUCH!! It's excellent advice to take the pain medication before the pain is too severe, the earlier, the better it works. I also know we have a long way to go in pain management techniques. But as soon as they will let you move around, do so but carefully. Surprisingly, movement does help relieve pain and prevents complications. I know it doesn't seem like it at the time.

When God opens His E-Mails all this weekend, He is going to find lots of requests to grant you healing and peace, my friend! God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 5:05 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

So sorry to know that you're suffering. When you're able, can you tell us what is causing so much pain? I know your analytical mind will seek an answer for that, even though it hardly matters....

Sent by Marion Lane | 5:17 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy:
Addiction to pain pills isn't a problem you should have to worry about now. Today is important and as long as your body hurts, it will not be as focused on healing as it could be.

The loss of pain is the only thing good about my husband's death and as I go through the day, I can hear him saying "Having a great, pain free time, wish you were here...but not right away! We're keeping a light on for you. Love, Burge"

Those of us who have learned to love you through this blog are "keeping a light on" for you Leroy. May it give you comfort.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 5:58 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

You are truly an inspiration to all of us who learn from you day to day. Thank you for sharing what it really means to live each day and be grateful for what you have.

I only hope that if I should be diagnosed with cancer that I can show the courage, the determination, the dignity and the grace that you have shown us.

My prayer for you is that you be relieved from pain and restored to health.

May God keep you in the palm of his hand and bless you always.

Sent by Marsha Nelson-Vance | 6:11 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Mr. Sievers,

I have followed your blog since I heard you on NPR early this year. My wife is fighting metastatic breast cancer and has been since a recurrence in 2005. It is difficult. Your blog has been a blessing & comfort at times and completely opposite at other times. Your recent progression has been difficult to read and I fight the urge to "disconnect" from your blog. I have come so close and my "head" called "myself" a coward----as if my conscience has two people running it---one who doesn't want to know and hear---and one that can't leave you. I did not expect this when I started reading your blog. ---perhaps blogs should come with warning labels----

Sent by Joseph Mosolino | 6:18 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy...It really will get better...hopefully your medication works well and you are able to get the rest your body needs to heal...Laurie, I know how very hard it is to watch someone you love so to be in such pain...thoughts and prayers to you both...Fondly...Ann Pat

Sent by Ann Patrice Sclafani-Forde | 6:30 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Lots of prayers, positive energy and a big bowl of chicken soup

Sent by Robin T. | 6:38 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, Keep fighting this battle. You are not alone. We are all shoulder to shoulder walking with you during this time. Thank you for allowing us to peek behind the veil of your life. Your blog means so much to so many. I tell so many people about this webiste to help those who are dealing with cancer.Your honesty and realism hits home. We love ya, man and are praying BIG prayers to a BIG GOD on your behalf.

Sent by Debbie Eaton | 7:02 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Your attitude toward life (and death)continue to be an inspiration to me each and every day as I face breast cancer. I am keeping you in my thoughts.

Sent by Helene | 7:18 PM ET | 08-10-2007

dp
It wasn't you who flunked, it was the chemotherapy. You probably aced it: showed up each day on time, didn't run away, did all the stuff you were supposed to, right? Well, here's to the radiation matching YOUR success.
Ceese

Sent by Ceese Stickles | 7:40 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,
Thanks to you, I just convinced my husband that it is OK to take a Percoset for his post-operative pain. He usually would not grab for a pill unless his pain was excruciating but in the cancer world it's "All New Rules".

Sent by Elaine | 7:52 PM ET | 08-10-2007

GO LEROY !! Soon the pain will be GONE and you will be very, very PROUD of yourself for what you've accomplished !! Yeah for you !! And for all who go thru these very tough times to get to a healing place.

Congratulations !! Nancy O

Sent by Nancy Oliveri | 8:27 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy,

I feel like we are old friends as I follow your blog every week. May God hold you in the palm of his hand and heal you. Laurie, you are in my thoughts and prayers also. The two of you do so much for the rest of us as we either fight the mighty beast or watch a loved one struggle. Thanks for sharing and giving us all hope.

Sent by Nancy Owen | 9:25 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Dear Leroy, you have travelled into uncharted territory this week and I know it has not been all easy. But then everything is relative, right? Invasions/surgeries/procedures...no fun. I'm glad there are some great pain pills for you. Thinking about all of you, Sherri in TX, BC dx 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 10:50 PM ET | 08-10-2007

Leroy, I had AML leukemia in 2004 and a bone marrow transplant. I wish I had been able to write what was happening and how I felt at the time because, as you know, people not in Cancer World don't understand. I am cured of the leukemia, but I still have ongoing issues due to the cure and am on long term disability. It is so hard to convey to the people who care about me the way it felt and how it still feels. I am going to refer them to your blog because it speaks for me as well at times. I helped my father through lung cancer until his death in 1999. My mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma the month after I was diagnosed, so you can see I truly live in Cancer World and have for a long time. She had vertebroplasty and more of her vertebra are crumbling. Her outcome won't be the same as mine. They really don't have a cure for her cancer. Thank you for sharing your journey and putting into words the things that I feel and think too. I'll pray that your pain goes away and that your treatments continue to give you more days and time with those you love. Stacey

Sent by Stacey Groom | 3:11 AM ET | 08-11-2007

pain ..it's crippling...hopefully the drug is working somewhat to help ease your pain until you can't take the drug induced feeling of being a zombie and you say STOP! you are and continue to be in my thoguths and prayers...this is a horrible time ..hold onto your faith .

Sent by marianne dalton | 8:56 AM ET | 08-11-2007

My dear Leroy,

I have been thinking of you often. Percocet is good, it makes the world a better place when one is in such pain..Try to rest and think of outrageous, beautiful and funny thoughts. My love and support are always with you.

Sent by Gail Hunsberger Rochester,NY | 9:03 AM ET | 08-11-2007

Dear Leroy,

You (and everyone in this amazing community) have my best wishes for quick healing and recovery. I thought a lot about pain relief during 11 hospitalized days post-lung surgery (stage 1 cancer). I developed a pneumothorax and had to wait for the air pocket next to my lungs to dissipate before the chest tubes could be removed. The pain from those chest tubes broke through the drugs more than the missing rib or the upper right lobe removal. They must have disturbed some nerves at the site because that pain lasted quite some time. I was on a heavy-duty drug, Fentenol, (sp?) for the first few days, then had to switch to something less addictive. Each person has his or her own unique chemistry and each drug may or may not work for you. Darvacet did little for my pain and gave me nausea, Dylandin, a synthetic morphine, couldn't touch it. Vicadin worked for me, but the transitions were rough. Even though the nurses told me to take pain drugs on time and stay ahead of the pain, I found some nurses who seemingly stalled, worrying about addiction, when I asked for more or different drugs . My advice: Speak up! It's no time to be meek! There are many types of pain relief. If one doesn't do it for you, try something else.

Many thanks for this blog. Be well. Stay strong.
Sandy

Sent by Sandy Fisher | 9:23 AM ET | 08-11-2007

I was keeping two people in pain in my thoughts and prayers the past few days.

Leroy and my daughter, who began a long labor with her first child (and my first grandchild) late Wed evening. She wanted to be heroic, no pain killers, natural childbirth, etc. Finally, about 38 hours later, the baby boy was delivered by C-section, and the pain drugs had come in very handy. My grandson weighed in at a healthy 10 lbs plus. As in fishing, it can take a while to 'land a whopper'

I am in my second cancer battle. She became pregnant on or about the date I started chemo, and now here we are.

At times things can take somewhat longer than we'd like. Hoping the pain abates at a good pace, but take the drugs in the meantime.

Hang in there

Sent by Jack Burrington | 9:52 AM ET | 08-11-2007

Dear Leroy,
Thinking of you and hoping that the pain meds are working better for your pain. Pain is exhausting and discouraging, so keep taking those meds....Ok! Give my love to Laurie and hold some for yourself. Wishing you Peace!! Jude

Sent by Judith Tynan | 11:17 AM ET | 08-11-2007

Leroy -

As you recover from your recent procedures, I wish you well and wanted to relate some positive thoughts.

You wrote, "I wish healing to us all." That took on special meaning for me this morning as I dared join a 50 mile group bicycle ride this morning for the first time since my surgery for RCC three months ago. As we pedaled along between 20 and 25 mph, several of the riders who hadn't seen me for a while began asking why I hadn't been riding. I told them I was recovering from the removal of part of my kidney due to cancer, and one of the riders offered a comment that motivated me to persist through the whole ride, even when I began to tire. He said, "Today's not just a ride, it's a celebration!"

I felt healed.

Andy

Sent by Andrew Kearns | 11:58 AM ET | 08-11-2007

Leroy,
Cancer is pain.We all know that. It matters not if the pain is physical or emotional, cancer is pain. Sometimes the emotional pain, the idea of our own demise, the faces of our loved ones when they learn of our diagnosis or the pain that comes with the idea that we will suffer physical pain soon....cancer is pain. Today yours is physical, sometimes I wonder if the physical pain isn't easier....there at least are pills for it. Nevertheless, the pain we all suffer, which ever it may be, is always lessened by the help of friends. The people here on this blog and you have lessened my pain many times. I hope we can do the same for you my friend. We all love you dearly.

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 2:09 PM ET | 08-11-2007

Leroy, I am so grateful for your postings. Your humor is terrific as well as your musings. Take your pain medication. I will pray for you. Our 35-year old son, Andrew, is now at Stage IV with his melanoma. He goes into NIH on Tuesday for his second round of Interluekin-2. Your writings have helped me during this past year.

Sent by Maureen | 4:40 PM ET | 08-11-2007

Sending reiki your way. Perhaps it will relieve you somewhat from the pain.

With kindness,

Elaine

Sent by Elaine Barnes | 7:32 PM ET | 08-11-2007

Leroy,

I have to agree with the others about the pain medications.... take them as directed....your recovery relies on your being able to tolerate mobility and getting enough nourishment and rest-things that are impossible with terrible pain.

I stopped by today to see if you had written and while I was surprised that you had felt like writing after the procedures, I was saddened today to see that you obviously hadn't felt better - and possibly worse today.

Like so many others, I am remembering you in my prayers- asking that your pain be relieved and you feel like yourself very soon.

Peace!

Sent by Cindy Sivula | 12:42 AM ET | 08-12-2007

Hi Leroy and others,

It's not just the pain; it is the anxiety that this story will not have a happy ending. We will miss all those things that are on our list of things to do before we die (e.g., watching our kids grow up into adults). Some people are fortunate (lucky) and go into long term remission or are even cured, others don't. Whichever outcome is in our future, the path to getting there is filled with pain, discomfort, life disruptions, and a longing for the good old days. I wish the best for all of us.

Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 6:51 AM ET | 08-12-2007

Dear Leroy,
In our world life seems to punch us in the stomach and take our breath away. There are times we want to curl up and make the world go away. You are a very strong and brave man both in body and spirit. I'm sorry that you had to endure so much pain.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and Laurie. May the healing begin.

Sent by sasha | 10:03 AM ET | 08-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

I simply hope you feel better soon.

Sincerely,
Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 12:13 PM ET | 08-12-2007

Ceese> Thank you for your post:

"dp,
It wasn't you who flunked, it was the chemotherapy. You probably aced it: showed up each day on time, didn't run away, did all the stuff you were supposed to, right? Well, here's to the radiation matching YOUR success. Ceese"

There's a part of me who knows that you are absolutely right; I haven't 'flunked' chemotherapy, and I appreciate the reminder!

I apologize for, and hope to explain, the somewhat dejected perspective:

As a retired teacher and researcher, I remember being excited when I found subjects eligible for a study that we were conducting, and being disappointed when we learned they weren't.

In March we learned that I was a candidate for a national study that our local University is taking part in. The short of it is that I have moved very quickly from being the clinic's 'Sterling Study Subject' to being a similar kind of disappointment, and now frustration to the professionals working to help us cure this cancer.

The initial Study involved concurrent chemotherapy with radiation. Once no longer eligible as a subject, a course of chemotherapy was prescribed. Yes, you're right, again, Ceese; we made all of the appointments, didn't run away, were on time, etc. *laughs*

I had a serious allergic reaction to the first infusion. Lowered white cell counts coupled with residual pain (from the thorocotomy done in mid-May) interrupted the second cycle attempt. It's _that_ pain that I needed to stay ahead of and which prompted my initial post yesterday.

While I've been reading this blog since our diagnosis, I don't recall reading about Leroy or others being part of studies. Have any of you?

I remember feeling fortunate to be a part of such a study. I remember being concerned about insurance not covering 'experimental procedures.' I remember the disappointment we felt when we learned we weren't. ...just smacked of failure *winces*

...and from now on, I'll remember that it's the chemotherapy that's failing me, and not vice versa. Thanks, again!

We are now almost six months out and are going to 'try a couple weeks of radiation.' The Study called for seven weeks of radiation...

Our good news is that tumor is the same size; our bad news is that the tumor is the same size.

Being a member of the CancerCommunity teaches us a lot, starting with an appreciation of this blog and the folks who participate here.

*raises a glass of blueberry juice with Creese in a toast to our upcoming radiation*

Sent by dp | 1:49 PM ET | 08-12-2007

Hang in there Leroy, go for the drugs! This is no time to be a martyr.

Betsey

Sent by betsey kuzia | 3:48 PM ET | 08-12-2007

Leroy,
May I add my fervent wishes for a speedy end or diminuition of this pain? Writing under these conditions must take an incredible amount of courage and strength; I too vote for a short respite from the column until you're feeling better. I'm sure we'll all understand. Please take care.

Sent by Maris | 3:33 AM ET | 08-13-2007

Leroy:

I wish you relief! I know from listening to people in 2001 when I had really bad post BMT pain that nothing anyone says will help. Here's to relief and a quick passage of the pain.

BEN

Sent by Dr Ben | 6:23 PM ET | 08-13-2007

My Suggestion for What's Next

My suggestion for after Harry Potter: start with
the "A" book of the World Book Encyclopedia. After the "Z" book, go to the "A" book of the Encyclopedia Brittanica -- harder to read but very knowledgeable.
>
If you haven't yet discovered Bernie Siegel, MD
-- books and CDs -- check out his website. You
can also find his books and CD's on Amazon.com. He is a "Patch" Adams kind of doctor -- and he writes back, too -- in purple (!)
>
BTW, my surgery (to remove my left kidney (probable RCC, renal cell carcinoma) is to be next Tuesday, July 31.* That will be my FIFTH KIND
of cancer since 1976, THIRTEENTH malignant tumor, including 3 brain tumors and 6 bladder tumors, and melanoma-- plus I've had some benign growths and surgeries, some potentially fatal things like septic shock and strangulating adhesions in my abdomen.
>
*[It is now the third week of August, and the tumor WAS RCC, renal cell carcinoma. This post has been delayed, partly by the surgery and hospitalization, partly by my not being able to figure out how to send this.]
>
HANG IN THERE, LEROY. WE WILL SURVIVE !!!!!!!
>
My brain tumor survivor story and picture can be found here:

>
Kathy Knight
E-mail:

Sent by Kathy Knight | 7:11 PM ET | 08-23-2007

I myself had a thorocotomy done by some students at the VA in pittsburg,been in extreme pain since 2003. Feel's like I have a knife in my chest and it won't go away. Lyrica and methadone is what I take for pain,want to pull my hair out, the pain gets so bad, I need help and don't know what to do.. know what your going though, take care

Sent by bobby dearbeck | 11:56 PM ET | 11-08-2007