Where Hope Comes In

 
“Last January, when things weren't looking so good for me, when we started to talk about my having to get everything in order, my attitude was, let's try whatever is out there. Who knows what might work?”
 
 

Right about now, if you're reading this in the morning, I should be getting shot in the back with a glue gun. That's probably not entirely accurate, at least the glue gun part of it, but it was fun to write. The recovery time is supposed to be three hours or so. Apparently part of that time is to let the glue set. Seriously.

Will I feel any different afterwards? I don't know. I doubt it. Other people who have had back pain, and then had this procedure, say the pain relief is almost instantaneous. But since I haven't been having back pain, will I feel anything at all? My guess is no, but we'll see.

It's funny, when I think back to when all this started, I'd heard of chemo, of course, and radiation. But things like the Gamma Knife, Radio Frequency Ablation? Those all sounded like something off of Star Trek. The cheesy original version. It's easy to hear Scotty yelling, "Captain, we need to reroute the Radio Frequency Ablation!" All these other procedures have been a total surprise.

That's where hope comes in, too. Last January, when things weren't looking so good for me, when we started to talk about my having to get everything in order, my attitude was, let's try whatever is out there. Who knows what might work? And that's what led us to RFA, vertebralplasty, and cryoablation, and may lead to others that I haven't heard of yet. As I write this, my computer spellchecker is going crazy over some of those terms. So clearly they're new. Of course spellchecker doesn't recognize "blog" either.

I'll let you all know what it was like in tomorrow's blog. In the meantime, bring on the glue.

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BEAM US UP LEROY!! Sending positive thoughts your way. You are new almost bionic man. We are behind you!

Sent by Susan Chap | 7:25 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Good luck to you today!

Sent by dino | 7:39 AM ET | 08-08-2007

I do hope you are feeling new after your glue.

Big hugs that I hope don't stick to you and your glue,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 7:44 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,

Our thoughts are with you today.

Sent by dorothy | 8:05 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Would that be SUPER glue or just plain old Elmer's? :-) I would make sure they use the SUPER kind!! LOL

I think it likely would have been more like:

"Scotty... we need MORE POWER for the radio frequency ablation!!"

"Captain... I givin ya all she's got!!"

LMAO

Wishing you absolutely the best of luck Leroy!!!

TODAY in the 32nd anniversary of my diagnosis and having been told I only had a 10% chance of living 5 years!! Guess I showed them!!!

Which brings me to a point... prognoses do not necessarily mean ANYTHING.. at best it is a GUESS.. there are just too many factors and variables to be accurate.. kind of like predicting the weather

NEVER GIVE UP!!

I didn't and I am still here despite a 90% EXPECTATION I would not be!!!

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 8:08 AM ET | 08-08-2007

8:08 in Kentucky so I hope you are almost done. Thinking good thoughts for you. Peace, Dona

Sent by Dona | 8:09 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Dear Leroy, I still think you are very brave to try all these new things. I don't know if I would be. Thanks for writing today with all else you have to think about. Hope you are feeling well tomorrow and look forward to hearing about it all.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 8:27 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
Thinking of you today and hoping all is well!! With love and peace.

Sent by Judith Tynan | 8:49 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,
Sending good thoughts and hoping that the glue helps.

Sent by Chanda | 9:09 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Words fail. Go bravely on pioneer.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 9:10 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy great humor. And you will be in my thoughts today.

Sent by Pat Zalewski | 9:21 AM ET | 08-08-2007

You are SO my hero, big guy!! Glue on!! Bless you. Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 9:21 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Good Luck Leroy!

Sent by Lisa | 9:33 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Good Luck, Leroy!

Going back over previous blog postings, I came across the one that mentioned Mitt Romney's wife's terrible, ignorant comment. As someone who watched her father die from cancer and currently has MS, I can only believe that Mrs. Romney has no experience with the damage cancer causes in the "victim of the beast" as well as caregivers, family, friends and other loved ones. MS is bad, no question; but, do there have to be levels of 'badness'? Do we have to compare diseases, ie: "mine's worse than yours?" I don't think so. I think bad is bad and we have to be there for each other, no matter what disease we're fighting. Segregation, in all it's forms, is what weakens us as human beings. When we're fighting a terrible disease or helping others fight their disease, unity is what makes us strong and gives us hope.
So, Leroy, good luck with the "Glue Gun"!

Sent by Tammy Pearce | 9:59 AM ET | 08-08-2007

You should be done by now Leroy. I hope you are comfortable and feeling optimistic.

Today is my second birthday since my diagnosis. Yesterday the doctor told me even though I am stage IV they are still working towards a cure for me. That really boosted my spirits.

Friday I will have another CAT scan to investigate the pain I'm having. I am counting on it being referred pain from scar tissue. What a great birthday present that would be!

My thoughts will be with you today, Leroy.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:08 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,

I imagine you are in set up time by now. Be sure to "stick with the program!" Oh-Oh, bad pun, sorry! The Devil made me do it!

Lots of Love and hope coming your way to cheer you and Laurie on!! All the best wishes in getting through all your procedures both today and tomorrow.

Go get 'em!! God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 10:12 AM ET | 08-08-2007

LeRoy, Every sip of this coffee is in your honor. You are so many people??s hero. I know you are mine!

Sent by laurie de Gonz??lez | 10:14 AM ET | 08-08-2007

You are Amazing! I said a prayer for you. God love you.

Sent by Ruth White | 10:16 AM ET | 08-08-2007

The nice people who support you here are your glue. Networks of external people are JUST as impactful on well-being as are internal networks of cells, sinew, and bone.

WE are the body politic, the body social, the body healthy. Our communal voices keep you glued together. We use the latest tools at hand (do you think our parents could have conceived of blogs?), as your highly specialized doctors use the latest cutting-edge tool (bring on the Gamma Knife, Doc) to ostracize criminal activity in the body Sievers.

We are all connected, not through any magical or mysterious force, but through the reality of life, even on the molecular level. If I sit next to you, we exchange molecules. Hell, every breath you take, you get some molecules Abraham Lincoln breathed!

Never forget the value of humor. Big belly laughs tickle all the muscles and give a shot of delicious hormones to the brain.

You're our Han Solo, the reckless, sexy adventurer who dares to bring down the ruthless criminals who dare to refuse to play nice in the body of all life.

Peace,

Sally

Sent by Sally Siegel | 10:25 AM ET | 08-08-2007

How about Gordie saying, "Well, Captain, I could try redirecting the main deflector, rerouting the communication grid and emitting a radio frequency ablation. That might disrupt their power core and stop them." Shot in the back with a glue gun. Perfectly silly.

Sent by glenda | 10:27 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Thinking of you this morning - glue gun and all - and sending positive vibes that it's not too awful and that IT WORKS!

Sent by Leigh Hough | 10:34 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Thinking of you! May the Force be with you.

Sent by Scarlett A Harris | 10:35 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Yeah... that's a level 3 diagnostic... with a service of the Jeffries tubes... and alignment of the dylithium crystals... that will cost... uh... well my dignity for outing myself as a Trekkie...

Good Luck Leroy... go and get sticky... uh... that sounded worse then intended...

Sent by Brit | 10:37 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Hi Leroy. Hope you've gotten your coffee by now. Actually it's not a glue gun, it's a trocar or hollow needle. They just need to monitor it with fluoroscopy to make sure none of the "cement" gets into the spinal canal. It takes about 20 minutes for the cement to harden. Pretty cool stuff. A simple solution to a problem that could bear serious consequences. It's supposed to do what it does right away. I was a Trekkie when I was a kid, wow, whodathunkit, all these incredible, less painful and less invasive treatments available. Hope is amazing. I'll keep hoping.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 10:38 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Well, if I had to do without my morning shot of caffine, I would want the procedure to be as early and over with as possible, so I could get to it. That first cuppa is going to taste good!

Speaking of hope . . . I learned a new term yesterday. I was asking my onc about the conflicting reports from the surgeon and the CT scan. He chalked it up to the inability of the CT scan to see what's there. Then (this is the fun part) he told me my disease was "biologocally indolent". I love it! It's the first time I have seen lazy as a good thing. Basically, what it means is that though my cancer is there and will never go away, it is moving more slowly than most pancreatic cancers. That is a very good thing and the only reason I am still here after all this time.

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 10:48 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy, you are a hero to those of us who work in the Cancer World as well. All of you who write in, help us every day to understand what you must face so bravely. Leroy, I used to work at UMMC and have friends at Hopkins as well and know they will take good care of you.
Equally important, I want to ask all of you to keep your frequent blog friend, Sandra Shuler, in your thoughts and prayers. She is struggling with some serious complications and I think the next few days will be critical. You know her through the blog, I know her personally. I know her loving heart, her gentle fighting spirit and her wonderful intelligence and humor. Please know that she is well loved and well cared for here in Atlanta. But your thoughts and prayers would be much appreciated by all of us.
I keep all of you in my heart and thank you for sharing your ideas, your frustrations and your pain with those of us who do not currently have cancer, but work with those who do. I believe it makes us more sensitive and compassionate care givers.

Sent by Julie Antinucci | 10:50 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Good luck with your procedure Leroy -- there have been good results with it! Thanks again for another great post.

My Dad is stage IV with kidney cancer and, sadly, I am all too familiar with many of the terms (cyberknife, vertebralplasty, etc.) that you reference in your posts. Ever since my Dad was dx'd in January, it's as though I've acquired a new language. Unfortunately, it's the kind of language that you wish you never had to learn and you hope to never use again. Some days I feel as though I'm researching and studying for an exam that I'm going to fail no matter what. I only wish that I could fix my Dad but I can't.

Sent by Loree | 10:57 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Hey Leroy,
What happens if they glue you and you stick to the white paper on the table? Don't go thru with it if you see anyone else already stuck to the paper!!! lol
You are in our hearts and thoughts today...good luck!

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 11:01 AM ET | 08-08-2007

went for my scan report this am and they were negative...didn't have any coffee until after I got the news, in honor of your sacrifice...

Sent by Valerie | 11:04 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Thanks for taking time to respond to my inquiry yesterday Leroy. I'm thinking of you today and sending positive vibes (for the new-agers), prayers (for the religious), cadences (for the military folks) and good chi (everyone else)to you. Hopefully I got you covered! Can't wait to hear from you tomorrow...

Best...always,

Sent by Sarah Senter | 11:06 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Hey isn't the world held together by glue and duct tape?
Anyways you know I think your awesome Leroy. You pave the way for others..on some of these new things. Strange and scary as some are..IF we don't do it who will?
Anyway I remain optimistic to you tell me differently. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by Kerry | 11:12 AM ET | 08-08-2007

We're pulling for you Leroy! Prayers coming your way!

Sent by Pat Beach | 11:19 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,
I haven't posted in a while so I wanted to pop in and say good luck with all this new stuff. Right now you're probably recovering from the glue gun thing - hope the drugs are making up for the lack of coffee. Then on to tomorrow's procedures! We will all be thinking of you and sending good thoughts, prayers and vibes your way.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 11:27 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,

You are intrepid, that's for sure. I admire your attitude, courage, and calmness as you face what you face. As I have said before, classy.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:30 AM ET | 08-08-2007

I love reading all the glue gun silliness -- and I hope it's as easy and fast as can be. And that the dreaded, too-small gown doesn't somehow get stuck on you forever. Wouldn't that just be frightening?

Can't wait to hear how it all transpired. All best,

Sent by Jordis | 11:38 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy- How about your docs glue cancer's rock at the bottom of the hill while they're in there? With wishes that they've glued all the bad stuff

Sent by Barbara in Princeton | 11:42 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Hey Leroy, I had a couple of cups of coffee this morning, one for you and one for me. Hope this finds you drinking your own cup. We love ya and are with ya all the way. Take care, Teresa in WV

Sent by Teresa | 11:46 AM ET | 08-08-2007

leroy,

just make sure they don't get all arts and crafts-y with you! just the vertebrae and you're back on your feet. we're all pulling for you today!

Sent by ejd | 11:48 AM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,

I'm hoping that you'll stand up and feel 200% better with your new and improved vertebrae. Maybe the deterioration you had was slow enough that you didn't realize a toll it might be taking on your overall feeling of well-being. I'm wishing that you feel ready to take one of your long walks with Ted Koppel :-)

Ron Bye, Thank you for your motivating message about living past the odds. I've got a similar five-year prognosis, as do all stage IV reproductive cancer patients. For us, the outlook has barely changed over the past 20 years. I'm hoping that we have new options available, and that there are so many more exceptions to the odds that we actually are in the vanguard of improving those numbers.

Sent by Sheara | 11:56 AM ET | 08-08-2007

I'm thinking we should just nickname you Elmer as you are the glue that binds us all together.....
Good Luck today and tomorrow....may the force be with you!

Sent by Karen | 11:56 AM ET | 08-08-2007

By now you've hopefully enjoyed a hot cup of java -- or two -- and are truly well set for the next round! Let those ablating frequencies begin!

Sent by Marcia | 12:09 PM ET | 08-08-2007

s porcedure works very well for folks with hairline cracks in a vertebra. Relief is instant for most. Since you have not been having pain, you probably won't notice too much. I suppose the only pain here, for you, was getting up at 4:30 A.M. I hope you packed considerable coffee. Best of luck. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 1:06 PM ET | 08-08-2007

thank you for what you do here everyday. it gives peace and hope to those who at times, just need to know they are not the only one's out there. i was deeply moved by the piece that showed earlier this year with Ted Kopel and have been a subscriber ever since. i hope all went well with your procedure.

just as a side note to the spellchecker, this will go to show what can get overlooked, or what priorities are set. for those that have microsoft word, if you type the sentence, "I believe in god" - yes, god spelled lowercase, spellchecker does not pick this up as being spelled incorrectly, or does it ask if you mean good. if you type in the sentence, "I use microsoft everyday" - microsoft shows up as being misspelled - that it should be capitalized.


Sent by c. massey | 1:46 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery.I have great faith in you.

I would also like to clarify something about a comment on Monday's blog. When I said my husband had to take a break from chemo because of the pneumonia and the setback, I received some comments about knowing when to "let go" My HUSBAND is the one who wants to fight this battle and as long as he is willing I will be right by his side. When the day comes that he wants to stop fighting I will honor his wishes.

Thank you all for your care and concern I know in my heart that you meant well, it was just a bit of confusion.

A special thank you to Al Cato for his post

Thank you again.........Sasha

Sent by sasha | 2:12 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy -

Love the humor in today's blog - and in all the posts/replies to the blog. Liz's post had me laughing so hard!

Hope you are feeling well this afternoon.

Sent by Melissa T | 2:23 PM ET | 08-08-2007

I have to admit that I have only sporatically read your blogs. Today there was such a strong force directing me to your posting that I had to comment. I know it isn't new for you to hear this-but I so much admire your courage and strength during this life experience called "cancer." Your blog makes it easier for people to talk and think about something that our society has for too long shunned. I personally worked in Hospice for many years and feel it was a privilege and honor to share this part of the cycle of life with my patients and their families. Thank you for opening yourself to strangers and for remaining who you are.

Sent by Lynn Hughes | 2:23 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Good luck again with that glue, Leroy. Going back to your Startrek comparison, I sure wish that "Bones" McCoy would just show up with that little hand held device, run it by your back a few times, and you'd be as good as new.

Please think of and say a prayer for my sister Ann today - she is having a modified radical mastectomy after several months of chemo and I know that she is worried, as we all are in the family. But I told her that I was the first cancer survivor in the family and that she would be the second.

Sent by Art Ritter | 2:35 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,
It is after noon on the west coast so I hope you are up and have had several cups of coffee. I think I will have one myself. I have been off caffeine for a day and a half because I had a PET scan this morning. No sugar and no caffeine really makes me feel lousy!
I pray your procedure went well and you will be up to some fun today!
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 3:12 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Good luck, Leroy! May this be really SUPER glue with a magic stick. Wishing you great success!

Sent by Suzanne Lindley | 3:15 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Dear Leroy,

No disrespect to Laurie, or my husband, but "you must really be tired, since you ran through my head all night" or some stupid line like that. Seriously, I can't count how many times I prayed silently, or thought, "Man, I sure hope it goes well for Leroy today". I am awaiting news of the success of this treatment. All the best.

Connie E.

Sent by Connie E. | 3:35 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy, I sincerly hop all went well this morningduring hot gluing!

Sent by Brett Meacham | 3:40 PM ET | 08-08-2007

So now there???s a glue,
Who would have knew,
In an hour or two you???ll be back to new.
I know that???s not really the case,
But our hope we will base,
They will not waste,
A chance that a cure,
Will be very near.

So many options, so little time.

Good luck Leroy.

Ed Steger
www.hncancer,blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 4:04 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Stay Strong...Superglue Strong!Love your column - not sure how I found it but very glad I did. Am thinking of you and hope you're recovering well.

Sent by Lisa Burt | 4:51 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Hope that you felt the many prayers that were sent your way today.

Like others, am interested in your always unique perspective about how things went today.

Blessings and prayers to you and Laurie.

Sent by Al Cato | 4:55 PM ET | 08-08-2007

You are in my prayers for quick recovery Leroy. I don't know how you stay on top of the blog and all the new age surgeries. Thank goodness for the technology and advances which combined with hope, I'm convinced you'll be doing this blog years from now. Stay strong and good luck today.

Sent by Kim Barbato | 5:56 PM ET | 08-08-2007

I am reading and posting this late.By now the glue should be all dried...You're right that these new things are a basis for hope. Hope for those of us currently cancer free but fearing a recurrence as well. Thanks for helping to share that hope and hee's hoping you are feeling better or at least not worse after this procedure.

Sent by N.R. | 6:04 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Hi Leroy!
I hope has gone well today-
are you considering that you are a scrapbookers dream? All the glue/cutting freezing and zapping-
i can think of a hundred funny sitcoms from reading some of the blogs you've posted-but as you've pointed out Cancer is a major buzz kill and only the staunchest can find humor in the midst of all the tragedy and pain
keep up the good fight-use whatever tools you can
our best to you always
Robbie and Randy

Sent by randy and robbie | 6:35 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy,

Live long and prosper, big guy!

Sent by Teri Thomas | 6:45 PM ET | 08-08-2007


Ah, Leroy. I know you won't take it the wrong way when I say how lucky you are that there these new treatments are out there for you to try. Not to minimize at all your courage in going for it. (I can hear you saying you really have no choice.) I began this post to lament the fact that there were no options for my brother, who succumbed after only six months to a malignant heart tumor. But this isn't the time. Today it's all about you, Leroy, and I'm hoping things went well this morning.

Sent by Marion Lane | 7:27 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Leroy - Best wishes for a speedy and successful recovery

Sent by tex | 10:00 PM ET | 08-08-2007

Hi Leroy,
I'm new here. I saw the Special with Ted Koppel a few months ago & just recently started reading your blog. It has been helpful to me in many ways.
I wish you the best of everything & thank you for making me understand cancer a little more in your words.
I don't have cancer but I have been around it. My brother has over the past 15 years but as of last month for the first time his scan came back clean.
Now my father's cancer (stage4) has come back in his lung & his 2nd doctor told him it is useless to the radiation.
He is having a bone scan tomorrow to see if it's in his bone.
My poor dad has never had anything good really happen to him in his life.
I know that you or anyone else who has cancer deserves it either but it's hard trying to deal with all this.
I am angry at my father for not going to Sloan K. when my sister made the appoinment for him when he was diagnosed in May. His doctors in upstate NY just started his treatmnet last week.
He always put tings off now look where it got him.
I am also angry at the doctors. I also feel useless because there isn't anything I can do for him.
I feel guilty for not being more upset then I should be like my sister. Maybe because I live cross country it doesn't seem real to me or it's denial.

I hope you & anyone else who is dealing with this monster/ cancer will overcome it. I've seen what it can do not only to the body but how it affects your way of thinking.
Bless you & everyone.


Sent by Lia | 1:44 AM ET | 08-09-2007

It's hard to check up on you and not know how it all went today. I hope you got a cup of coffee and were able to fend off the caffeine headache.
I know you know we are all thinking of you. Stay strong--keep pushing C. back down the hill over and over.

Sent by Robin | 1:57 AM ET | 08-09-2007

Thank you for all fo this! I will pray for you Leroy.

With respect,
Fart Fart

Sent by Fart Fart | 3:10 AM ET | 08-09-2007



   
   
   
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