On the bright side, one reason the cancer community is so large is that we are getting better every day at treating it. They are doing stuff to you that was unheard of a few years ago.

Sent by Crawford | 7:24 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

Yep, makes me sad too. There are several things I wish would become obsolete: cancer, illness, mental illness, war, destruction, terror-mongering, poverty, violence. Just to name a few.

Is it possible to take what you, NPR, and all of us have created here, out with us, into our everyday communities? Every seed we plant, of kindness and compassion stands a chance of spreading around the world. That's how I visualize it, anyway.
In that sense, I see us all as pollinators of kindness, concern, compassion.....actively....like bees.

Well, okay on the analogizing....(is that even a word?)

I think our planet depends on each one of us sowing these seeds, pollinating these flowers of kindness & compassion in active ways, large & small, everyday.

I do feel sad and often despairing about the state of the world, people, illness, violence. But when I come here, to a place of kindness, it helps to nourish the place of hope inside me, and I try to pass it on.

Thank you and wishing us all health in whatever way is possible and peace,

Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 8:10 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

It seems the more we know about the disease, the more we hear about it. Who really thought about testicular cancer, that is until Lance Armstrong was diagnosed, treated, and won 7 Tour De France races. More people are actually going to their Dr. because of public service messages to have colonoscopies. More people are finally taking the steps to stop smoking because of information provided to the masses. More people are moving to get into better shape, because of....

I believe knowledge comes from a willingness to talk and listen to others who have been there. So, you extremely successful endeavor has taught a vast number of people.

Thank you so much for that.

Have a great weekend

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:11 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Amen to your blog! Wouldn't it be nice if the number of newly diagnosed patients were to drop significantly year after year all the way to zero! The number of patients fighting cancer suddenly and dramatically found themselves with NED as a constant companion! Don't you wish that cancer became the "polio" of this era! It is a wish but at this time an unrealistic wish.

Meanwhile, I'm thankful for the cancer community and all that it offers-support, research, treatments. I'm thankful for this blog and for you, Leroy. It is overwhelming when you focus on the prevalence of cancer in the world and it is sad to see. I give thanks for what I have and have been given but still remain acutely aware of the suffering of so many.

Blessings and prayers.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:19 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Had problems sending my comments to you today Leroy. Anyway, as usual I cannot agree with you more. I firmly believe that there are far too many new drugs being discovered and not enough "causes" and cures being found in all these years.
MS is another disease that they a just "skirting the edges" with. My friend next door is having her life ruined by this disease and the pain, yet there is not much hope on the horizon.
Will miss you this week end Leroy. Have a wonderful one and "keep thinking and writing"

Sent by J C R. | 8:24 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy, I have become hooked on your blog, even though I don't have cancer yet. It's the yet that stands out here. "It" affects way too many of us and just because we are fortunate enough not to have cancer today doesn't mean down the road we won't. (not pesimistic, just realistic) I admire your sense of humor inspite of the disease and even more I enjoy your humanity. You are one of many special human beings. God bless you Leroy Sievers!

Sent by Connie Hartle | 8:35 AM ET | 09-07-2007

I feel the same way. I'm going for chemo in a few hours and the parking structure will be overflowing. It's a strange feeling knowing there are so many of "us".

A few days ago I'd commented about looking forward to passing along my chemo scarves and wig to someone when I'm finished with treatments. Then I retracted my words, and instead wished that absolutely no one would need them...ever. I hope they rot on a shelf somewhere or in a drawer. But the sad reality is that someone else will likely use them, and in one form or another, they'll be passed on to someone who has yet to begin their journey down this road we know as Cancer.

Sent by Norma | 9:08 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Hello Leroy,
I guess I'm one of the few people that read and post to this blog that does not have cancer. Well, that's not true, I do have a history of skin cancer, and have had several pre cancerous and Basal cell tumors removed over the past twenty three years or so, but that's hardly the same thing. In my mind, to even attempt to draw a comparison, would be like someone who has gotten a bad sunburn comparing themselves to a burn victim, it's not even remotely the same.
I do though understand despair, and I have over my life, experienced it. I don't know if this is what you're feeling today, but if so, I want to say that I too wish the parking lots and chemo rooms to be empty also, even without a full understanding of what it means to be a part of that community. I want you, Leroy and all others who read and post to this blog, I want to send you my hope, my faith and my strength...even though I don't truly understand. Blessings to you all.

Charles

Sent by Charles Willingham | 9:10 AM ET | 09-07-2007

How timely your post is today - as always, you seem to touch on exactly what is on my mind.

Like you, I find the numbers to be both comforting and disturbing.

And I am saddened to report that our numbers have grown by at least one more - my dear,sweet younger brother called last night to inform us that he has been diagnosed with lung cancer. They caught it early, which is always good, but I know what the next year will be like for him and his family - I just had my one year "cancerversary".

Sometimes, there are just no words....

Sent by Lesa | 9:23 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Dear Leroy and others,

It is funny in a sad way... whenever we go the cancer center and find a parking spot by the time we reach the 4th floor garage level, we think of ourselves as lucky. As we go up floor after floor to the 10th floor, each floor reminds us of how big the business of cancer is and how many people have cancer. And, this is just one of about 6 or 7 major garages at this cancer center. There are 1000s and 1000s of cars and 1000s and 1000s of patients visiting this place of hope on a daily basis. Yes, it is a big community and yes it is sad. It has taken so much from so many.

Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 9:33 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Hi Leroy,
It makes me sad, too, that there are so many of us. It makes me sad that there are so many younger people with cancer, like my daughter and a cousin of hers we don't know personally, but through his mom's e-mails know about him. He has lymphoma and none of the treatment he has had in the past couple of years has worked. Now they are hoping a stem cell transplant at City of Hope will work. My daughter has stage 4 uterine cancer. She appears to be NED now but has just started chemo again. Both of these younger people have school age children.
The medical community knows a lot, but I wish they knew more. I wish they knew how to "fix" all of us.
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 9:39 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Your thoughts today echo something that I've discovered in my own journey. Since I was diagnosed in Nov. 2005, everywhere I go and everyone I talk to has a cancer story, whether their own or a family member or close friend. It seems this stuff is epidemic.

Sent by Harry | 9:40 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy,
I agree with you 100 %. It is bittersweet that we are here in such numbers. It is said that there is safety in numbers. This blog affords many of us that safety, safe to say things that even our loved ones may not understand, but our fellow cancerworld family does. Safety to fall apart, and read that others fall apart too.
Yet, as you say, it is sad to see so many of us. People ask if there is more cancer now than ever before, or has the medical community made such wonderful strides that we understand and diagnose disease better now? Who knows?
I am just grateful that we are alive, together and able to talk about this common thread. Your blog, and my cancer-world family allows me to feel normal and hopeful.
Thank you all.
Liz

Sent by Liz Zimmerman | 9:41 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy, please know that not all the viewers are here because they have cancer. There are those, like me, who just have a penchant for life, and are not afraid to look at it for what it is. We want to be around others who feel that way.
The conversations that go on in "cancer world" are not conversations I'm privy to everyday, except for this blog. People in the "real world" don't openly reflect on their lives to potentially millions of viewers. We tend to wall ourselves off from others and forget that we are social beings who need each other to be whole.
I need each of you who write in to this blog. I need your real-ness, your genuine selves, your passion for truth in being. I feel connected to life in a way I never have being a part of this community. Those here are the most beautiful expression of hunamity I encounter, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Sent by Leonard Adams | 9:42 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Ahhh Leroy, you know that time will come. The new information on cancer stem cells has HUGE ramifications. Every month I see a new and less toxic, less invasive treatment for the day when my sister is told "you have breast cancer." I am full of joy that she may not have to have doxyrubicin and maybe not even cytoxan. I am full of hope that someone can find a way to make cells that lack FOX3P to self-destruct as they should. And I am intrigued by the other side of the coin: that here is a type of cell that is immortal. Maybe we can even learn to govern it, to turn on its differentiation. All that aside - disease is part of the human condition. A show aired a while back about the "butterfly people" whose skin comes off at the slightest touch. It made me grateful that all I need deal with is cancer. Their suffering never ends, ever. My suffering was in spates and I got relief. Now I hope today you go out and focus on Leroy and the Moment, enjoy this gorgeous fall weather, rent a good mindless action flick (have you seen Eastern Promises? or A History of Violence?). I'm going to look for that Martin Cruz Smith book again online. Be here now.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:45 AM ET | 09-07-2007

This is something I have been thinking a lot about for the last few months. It seems that every day I hear about more and more people who have just been diagnosed or have someone close to them who has just been diagnosed with some form of cancer.

It didn't used to be so frequent, at least not in my world. Is that about age, or has the rate of cancer really increased that much in the last few years?

Also, I keep thinking about the comment I read in this blog by another Seattlite, I believe. He said he was walking with a doctor friend and asked when would the cure for cancer be found. The doctor said something like, never, because there is too much money generated by cancer in the pharmaceutical, insurance and medical industries. At least, that was how I interpreted what he said.

I sure hope that was just one doctor's cynical opinion. I haven't had the guts to mention that comment to any of my doctors for fear of insulting them.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 9:46 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Dear Leroy/All,

I guess we all have our days when the pressure mounts beyond what we think we can handle, which seems to be the case for me most of the time. Today's blog sends a message of deep sadness. YES, we do have a large caring community and YES we know that we are supportive and not alone. But the last two sentences on your post...........I don't have the words.........
Prayers to you and Laurie

Sent by sasha | 9:47 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy, I share your sentiments. As a pharmacist who used to prepare chemo, I always wished for a day when there would be sophisticated and 100% effective treatments and we would look back in disbelief at how primitive and horrible the old treatments (the ones we have now) were. That day isn't here yet, and cancer is touching so many, both young and old. I agree it's great to have the support and yet it's sad that it is so needed. There is a lot of research going on, it just takes so long.

Sent by Lisa Dunlap | 9:59 AM ET | 09-07-2007

I know what you mean, Leroy. There are too many of us. I just received a brochure in the mail yesterday to walk in the Komen Race for the Cure in Phoenix in October. My youngest daugher encouraged me to walk three years ago after going through thyroid cancer and then breast cancer surgery. I was still in chemo at the time. It was such a shock to see so many women and some men wearing the pink t-shirts signifying they are breast cancer survivors. Receiving that brochure yesterday brought the memories flooding back again.

I am so grateful that my youngest daughter encouraged me to walk three years ago. We walk each year now. And our team includes both of our daughters and sons-in-laws, our grandson, and my husband.

There are too many of us with cancer and with families and friends touched by cancer. I take heart in seeing 40,000 people in Phoenix every October walking together in support of each other. God, how I hope a cure for cancer is found soon.

Have a good day and a good weekend, Leroy, and everyone out there.

Sent by Deb | 10:07 AM ET | 09-07-2007

yeah, this disease has grown. When I was a lot younger when you heard about cancer you knew they were going to die, no hope. I live in the Houston Texas area and we have MD Anderson hospital one of the largest in the U.S. They are expanding it everyday. Really sad to think that there are so many people that need a place like this, but really good that it is there for us. Now cancer is not a death sentence and I am so glad they , the researchers, have come such a long way and have concored some of these cancers. On the one hand it is sad that this disease is so big and has touched so many but I am truly grateful for the doctors and researchers being there when we need them. Gives me comfort knowing they are thee and working so hard to try and do everything they can for us all. Peace of mind I guess if that is possible.

Sent by Kathy Simmons | 10:17 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Dear Leroy, I emphasize with your feeling sad but I want to take the time to say how much this blog means. Most of my career I worked as a psychiatric nurse and when I was first diagnosed with cancer I knew I needed help to get through it all. I sought out a personal counselor/therapist and finally found one that was very helpful to me (third try). I didn't even try live groups because in my practice I had lead groups and knew it wouldn't feel comfortable to me. I tried unline groups and found them superficial and not helpful. Then I found YOU Leroy! Your blog with your writing and the contributors has been a God send to me. I find the contributors to be highly educated, sympathetic, supportive, honest and people I appreciate being associated with. Everyone's imput has impact and helps my day every day. So even though this is not what you really would like to be doing, consider it your blessing. Thank you EVERYONE and God Bless.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 10:20 AM ET | 09-07-2007

I am just adding myself as another face in our crowd...you are right it is too big..but what about strength in numbers type thinking? How does that influence us? This blog itself is a testament to the shear power of engaged discussion and the healing power of shared grief... are some of us still here because we simply will not give up and that makes our numbers bigger and inherently better? I mean if we didn't look to each other and "our crowd" how would we stay alive?

Sent by Andrea Angell | 10:23 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Unlike apparently most of the readers, I haven't really been closely affected by cancer. But I want, by reading this, to understand better what it's like when it comes - and I'm sure it will sooner or later. My dad died of cancer 6 years ago and neither he nor my mom really allowed us kids (all adults) to experience it with them, except for the last week or so of his life. Maybe I'm just doing some belated grieving, or just trying to empathize with all the rest of the people who are going through it. Anyway, thank you for being so open and honest about your experiences and know that even though some of us have not been through this, we support you. Anyday, it could be us.

Sent by Renay Leone | 10:29 AM ET | 09-07-2007

I lost my 42 year old son to lung cancer, by the time he found out it had already gone to his brain he lived for only five months.

Sent by delores | 10:33 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Me too.

Sent by Sheara | 10:35 AM ET | 09-07-2007

In the past couple of weeks a number of my friends have had cancer either return (breast), diagnosed (melanoma) or might be diagnosed (brain tumor being operated on) and it has made me wonder - why does it seem that this community is so large? Has it always been large and we have just not talked about it (or had a blog like yours to discuss it) or is it more common now? I do think as much as we want to believe in "living with cancer" and staying positive the words "I have cancer" or "my niece has been diagnosed with cancer" still bring with them an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I do think this community provides some support for all of us touched with cancer, but I wish we could be put out of business!

Sent by L J | 10:42 AM ET | 09-07-2007

I too wish this community wasn't so large. But again, I thank God for your Blog and the community that IS out there because without your thoughts and others' input, my husband and I would be "out there" alone, wondering and more scared than we are now. He has stage IVa esophageal cancer.

Sent by Trish | 10:57 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy I understand if that helps I wish no one had to deal with cancer. I wish in fact it was wiped off the face of the earth.But as you. I came across the site *But you don't look* Its a community of people that have invisable diseases that at times no one sees. Some equally as devistating lupus ms parkinsons, and more. All of which are chronic things such as cancer. I ended up there cause of other issues not just cancer but related to it. Thats where I gained some insite on what others deal with. I needed that. Cancer is the pits no doubt..but there are so many others deserveing of the compassion as well.

I agree I hate writing about it but if it helps someone doing so. Then thats vitally important.

The other thing is I am glad I have what i have now. I think back to years ago when my Grandfather did..and what he went through and so much has changed for the better in our behalf. I know thats hard to accept..but it is. I just think sometimes I am luckier in so many ways. Better technology and nausea meds and just things he did not have to help him.
So as bad as cancer is..there are things that have changed.
Your right the community is to large and that makes me sad. But it also makes me want to get out there and fight for changes for those with it. Thats the only way it will change.
Off to see my pcp who wants a new set of xrays for my foot!! UGH.

Have a good day and take care of you.

Sent by Kerry | 11:07 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Hello Leroy and friends,

Yes, this situation makes me sad too. I look at the obituaries each day in our paper and immediately can find people that have died of cancer. Of course, I pretty much know I will be one of those. When I see people listed up in their eighties plus, I must admit that I could only dream of living to that age. I just keep on praying for all of us and try to have faith and courage.

Love,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty Lewis | 11:08 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy,

The first thing that came into my head when I read your entry this am was, "if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride." Things are what they are and we got what we got and, once again, you are doing something wonderfully creative and helpful with your blog. All things considered, that's as good as it gets.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:36 AM ET | 09-07-2007

I am finding that "club" membership is rising in my social circles. I, too, wish that this blog and others like it would cease to exist. But until that time, we must keep supporting each other and sharing stories so we can learn and find a damn cure.

Sent by Beth in Seattle | 11:38 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Hi Leroy--
I know exactly what you mean..I've been following your blog since the documentary, although I'm not new to cancer world. Going thru my second round with breast cancer and have had a good outcome (again) so far, w/4 treatments to go..but it amazes me the number of people I encounter every week that is part of "our world" at our local cancer ctr. I wish they could be gathering dust, but instead it's almost standing room only! Thank you for providing the blog, as every day I realize I am not alone and we truly are all in this together. The input from others is very helpful.

Hoping for the day when cancer world doesn't effect everyone in some way!

Sent by Leslie | 11:40 AM ET | 09-07-2007

There are two things that strike me about the yellow Livestrong bracelts that people wear. First, how wonderful it is to see the awareness and education of cancer support and research - finding a cure for the disease. Hope. But then, my second thought hits me - How sad it is to see so many people wearing these bracelets. This damn disease is just too pervasive affecting too many people.

Sent by Brian P | 11:42 AM ET | 09-07-2007

Good Morning Leroy and All,

First of all I'd like to give a special thanks to Sheara and Sasha for their personal support yesterday. And to everyone on the blog, I know you were there with me in spirit as I completed another set of scans. Now the waiting for results begins again, I should know more at my appointment on the 26th.

To Leroy, I think your feelings, so elequently stated this morning, are an echo of the feelings experienced by anyone who has ever been touched by or even heard of the disease of Cancer. I'm sure we all wish it would just go away forever!! And those parking lots at Cancer Treatment Facilities could remain empty, always!

But in the mean time, we have each other, thanks to you, Leroy!
And thanks to your blog, I have two new friends in Sheara and Sasha. And also a feeling of commradship with everyone who posts on the blog. All of this support is priceless!! And it takes some of the load off from family members as well.

To everyone, I wish continued STRENGTH and HOPE as we all travel this road together. God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 12:03 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy, You are lucky you don't belong to the heart club also. I took care of my Lymphoma 33 years ago. But the treatments do have side effects. Twenty years later I had my first heart attack. I was able to handle it because my cancer war prepared me for the new heart war. Heart problems are a lot like cancer you track the damage done and try to prevent more. It is scary to know your heart can stop at any time, you have to read your body, and be prepared to take action. I cut my last one a little short, as my heart stopped as they rolled me thru the hospital doors.
As you sit in a cardiologist waiting room, there is the same camradrie that was there when getting radiation tratments. At a recent wedding 3 of us bypass alumni sat and discussed what we were doing to fight this war.
The hardest part to accept in the heart war is, it took my work away, I rally enjoyed my work, but like the doctor said" if you go back it will kill you".
So next comes the degrading job of applying for Agent Orange exposure and Social Security Disabilty. They are great programs and will help me thru the WAR, but I have always worked for a living, now that is out.
Plus physically I couldnt do 2 hours if I had to. Something else I HAD to adjust to.
My goal is to do better today than I did Yesterday.
The past is history.

Sent by Sam Means | 12:05 PM ET | 09-07-2007

It's so funny - and so awful that you mention the size of our community. While at the Swedish Hospital Cancer Center in Seattle yesterday for my weekly basting, it seemed almost everything was full. The parking had almost no parking spots empty and few trips around the garage were necessary before we found someone leaving a spot. And then the waiting rooms - most of the seats filled, and unfortunately with a lot of new faces, some with an early optimism that 8-12 treatments will make cancer go away like a bad case of the flu, and others with that deer in the headlights look that all of us had when we were first diagnosed.

Aside from pushing our distracted political leaders into directing more spending towards cancer research and making health care possible for those who don't have it, the best we can do is continue to offer comfort such as through this blog and with personal outreach to those new people in the waiting rooms.

Sent by Bob Maimone | 12:06 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy> You said, "I'd be happy to stop writing this blog and get another job."

Hrrrmmmm...

This "blog as job" perspective makes me hope we're not adding to your stress with our daily check-ins and expectations.

Were _all_ cancer cells to disappear from our worlds, I would have thought that you'd be getting another topic/issue as opposed to another job?

You were a journalist _before_ the in-your-face dealing with cancer cells; you've written during said same. You remain a journalist, nicht?

Because of internet resources, supportCommunities now exist for a myriad of horrid diseases. Even those of us without direct internet access get plugged into the information bases through libraries, other media, friends and family.

You and this Community, this community as large as ours, have been models for that!

The sadness for me, here, is not the size of the cancerCommunity, but that I've found a new Community in which I will experience -- as virtual and vicariously as it may be -- loss, separation, pain, anxiety, depression, trauma, fear...life.

The gladness for me is that I've found a new Community in which I will experience humor, joy, relief, consolence, caring, support, nurturing and a realistic understanding of the things we can expect on this path of our lives.

Or...would you really like to explore another job or career?

We can offer you a stab at what it would be like to be an Innkeeper (since you're already doing a great job of educating, which was my first career). Just let us know!

And you know what the proverbial they say, "If wishes were fishes, we'd all cast our nets..."

Sent by dp | 12:09 PM ET | 09-07-2007

The question is why you don't expect to see any of those things happen.

Why don't we expect to see cancer rates decline? We assume they will increase, or remain the same. And unless we do something about the things that cause it, there will be no change.

More fresh food, especially fruits and vegetables, less meat, less processed foods. Don't smoke. Rebuild the EPA that Bush has gutted and start adding environmental protection mandates into free trade agreements (if they can include provisions requiring copyright law enforcement, etc., they can include laws that prevent offshoring pollution.)

Cancer is not caused by lifestyle, but an unhealthy lifestyle dramatically increases risk. We know this, but we don't really do anything, and the parking ramp is full. There's no money in prevention.

Sent by Hans Lipke | 12:26 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy, It seems every family has stories of those taken by this disease, a history of cancer. I like to think the number of stories is being diminished by the treatments that are now available. But, your comments make me wonder, is it really getting worse? I hope not, but it is difficult to overcome the size of cancer wings, the resources going into the fight, the numbers are scary to think about. I am just one, but I am fighting, better on some days than others, but still wanting my life back. I guess, in a way, we are brothers in the fight of our lives. Have a good week-end, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:40 PM ET | 09-07-2007

I wish Cancer was a thing of the past. I wish the suffering and pain would end. I wish for you one day soon you are told its all gone, for everyone. This is my wish Leroy.

Sent by Robin T | 12:52 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

Yes, as a terminal cancer patient I find myself to be part of a new community. A community made up of the bravest and most courageous people I've ever met.

This was not the case for my son, whose condition is so rare that we've spent his 30 years on this earth educating the general public about him. At first, I deeply resented the stares and lack of comprehension on the part of the general public. By now, we've both learned to take it in stride. He was a miracle baby and then a miracle child. I spent his entire school career convincing school officials that he has a high IQ and needed to be educated. He was the first of his kind to graduate from a "normal" high school and has been permanently employed by a major bank since his was graduated.

Knowing that I'll soon be leaving him has been the hardest part of my personal journey.

Sue

Sent by Sue | 1:14 PM ET | 09-07-2007

leroy,
I've been catching up on the last 3 days of the blog as I am trying to get ready to go on a vacation with my husband that will not be like any of our other vacations. We have always been able to pack our vacations full of activities and "seeing the sights" but this year is different. Eventhough we have been in "cancer world" for 3 years, the momentum has picked up this last year and my husband has gone from a guy that could do anything for anyone to the one needing help for the simplest chores. I understand your mindset right now and we all know that some days you simply cannot escape it. We all go over these mental speed bumps and if not for the support of family and friends I feel like we would just get stuck on one and teeter like a piece of playground equipment. Lets keep our chins up and not be defeated and hope we go out digging ruts with our heels in the ground!!!

Sent by kathie | 1:19 PM ET | 09-07-2007

What I hope for is that we hear more and more stories of cancer being cured. Total remission.

Sent by Jenn | 1:28 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy,

Pls don't feel that only the cancer patients read your blog. i have been reading it everyday, for cancer can happen to any of us at anytime. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.

Sent by helen | 1:36 PM ET | 09-07-2007

i went to a hospital other than the one where i was treated yesterday because my dad had been in an accident. he is ok and is going to be alright - a damaged ego, motorcycle, and deer, not to mention his ribs and foot.

when arriving at the hospital i parked in the lot farthest from the er - by accident and a result of the unfamiliarity of the place. as i walked into the hospital, we passed the entrance to their cancer center.

i was struck by how badly i wished i didn't know what was going on in there. how i wished i knew nothing of nerves and needles and drugs and big decisions. how i wished i didn't have to go back next week to my own hospital for chekups and scans.

and then someone walked out of the doors. and that's when it struck me that i really just wished no one had to know these things we know. no nerves or drugs or big decisions, at least concerning cancer. no one likes this stuff. and you're right. there are too many of us that are much too familiar with it all.

Sent by ejd | 1:54 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy, I know how you feel about the numbers of us in this community of those living with cancer. Whenever a new chatter shows up in the breastcancer.org chatroom, we usually welcome them, and tell them that we're sorry that they had to join our club. There are ALWAYS new chatters, and the numbers of breast cancer diagnoses seems to be growing. I related to your comment about cancer wings. I go to the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, and they're in the process of building a huge cancer center on the land where the old convention center used to be. Not a small property, to be sure. It's great to know that they'll have the latest in diagnostics and treatment there, but rather daunting to know that it's needed. With the billions spent on research, when will the answer come?

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 2:09 PM ET | 09-07-2007

I share your feelings. Once you've been diagnosed, it is amazing the number of people you meet who are fighting the battle as well. So many barriers are broken down between people when you share that you have cancer. I've made some good friends....friendships that would not have happened apart from this thing called cancer. There's an upside to everything. Just wish it wasn't a disease but God can use everything in our lives to help us grow. So grow we will! thanks for the blog and thanks for freely expressing what we all have felt.

Sent by Sue Smith | 2:29 PM ET | 09-07-2007

My husband was diagnosed with an inoperable glioblastoma multiforme IV brain tumor over four years ago. It has been a long journey but he is certainly one of the few that makes it this far. With an amazing (should be underlined several times!) attitude he has had clear MRIs for over one year. We went to Duke, sloan Kettering and for the past few years at MD Anderson - I am overwhelmed with how many people fill the halls and wait for MRIs and bloodwork. When people speak of terrorist attacks - I think of the millions of people diagnosed with this disease as living daily with terrorist attacks. If only the money spent on the war, had been put in research for diseases as cancer - what a difference this world would be. Rather than global terrorism there would be global healing.

Sent by Diane Raymond | 2:33 PM ET | 09-07-2007

TO: Laurel, My body is not the same either. Lack of energy/stamina. My mind has all these things I want to do, but my body poops out before I can do them. I used to garden in my yard for hours and hours now I'm lucky to make it one hour. My upper back aches after standing or walking for more than 20 minutes, the doctors can't find anything wrong with it on CT scans, it's just the way it is, could be nerve damage from the surgery I had, who knows? I just know it hurts. I have come to grips with these shortcomings, especially now since I am retired, thank God, when my back hurts, I sit down, when tired I quit whatever I am doing. Thank God for retirement, I do whatever it takes to be comfortable. When working I was constantly pushing myself to be normal again, the way I was before. Well this is normal for me now, things could be worse. I am not complaining. Hang in there Laurel.

Sent by Ruth White | 2:40 PM ET | 09-07-2007

You said it so eloquently as usual, Leroy.

If I were all alone in a rowboat, surely I would have sunk by now.
But, I find that the kayak works better, all rowing in sync, picking up strength when one of our 'mates' is weaker.

Rowing {fighting} in unison.
With one goal, to win the race, or at least, come darn close if not in body, then surely in spirit.........

Sent by lisa | 2:58 PM ET | 09-07-2007

oh man did I botch my previous post or what? I should have referred to the 'cancer community' as working together, similar to a 'crew team.'

Maybe I was thinkin a kayak goes faster? lol nah, I think I just better brush up on my boating terminology.

Orrrr, we could all be on a yacht and Leroy is our Captain. A cruise to nowhere would be a nice escape to forget about all this for a second, minute, or an hour, would be nice....

Sent by lisa | 3:23 PM ET | 09-07-2007

I read your blog every day for inspiration, meditation, or reflection. I also read the comments.

All of the procedures and medicines, while they may extend life, take a toll. The pharmaceutical companies are extending the life spans with their medicines, and doctors are extending life spans with their procedures, and we are all grateful. But unfortunately they make the most money when we are sick.

Many times I get angry because our leaders are not doing enough. Cancer world needs help from our leaders. We need programs in prevention, survivorship, and yes even cures.
I want our leaders to help the guys/gals in the basement to find cures.

Too many people live in cancer world.

Sent by Jannette | 3:44 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy......the number of people with this disease always staggers me. And my daughter's doctors say that they are seeing much younger patients getting types such as lung disease. It used to be that I might know one person at a time who was suffering from this disease. At the present time, I am praying for 4 family members plus 7 friends with this disease, plus all of you guys!!

I too hope that the day will come when these numbers will not be true!! God bless, Leroy!!

Sent by betty obst | 4:14 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Leroy

I read your blog every day and have something to say to you, but I am not able to respond to that days writings. But today I wanted to be counted as someone who is totally with you in mind and spirit.
I have saved everyone of your blogs.
I love learning about my disease and being open with others. My friend visiting had a breast removed years ago and she has kept it secret till I was diagnosed last year. Those days it was a death sentence. Sometimes it still is, but learning to take it one day at a time helps to get past the hard parts.
I talk about it everywhere.
Someone helping me lift a heavy item. I say "I used to be able to do that last year,but since chemo--------" Their response is "my daughter has just been diagnosed", or "I had a mastectomy years ago and I am 5 days post op with lung cancer". It never fails. People are hungry to talk about it and to be reasured that they are not alone.
I am appauled at how many persons around me are going through the same feelings you write about.
Cancer has been a good teacher in that I really understand that I need to forgive, and allow folks an oppertunity to make amends. Life is so much more precious every day.
I appreciate your effort. Fondly Peg

Sent by Peg Heglund | 6:49 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Hi, this is JCR, a regular reader and contributor to your blog. What is wrong today? Hope you are alright Leroy. Worry about you.

Sent by J C Rakowski | 7:30 PM ET | 09-07-2007

I've been reading your blog for many months - lurking, I guess. But today your subject particularly resonated with me. Two of my four children have been diagnosed with "life-altering" illnesses - one with sarcoma and the other with bipolar disorder. The cancer community has been supportive and uplifting - people coming out of the woodwork to stand by us. Heartbreakingly, the mental health/illness community is so often still in darkness. And, yes, it's a very lonely place.

Sent by Michelle | 7:37 PM ET | 09-07-2007

LEROY, YOU MADE ME CRY - AND YOU DON'T DO THAT - SOUNDS AS THOUGH THINGS ARE REALLY GETTING YOU DOWN LATELY. FUNNY, CANCER IS A COMMUNITY - MY BEST FRIEND HAD BREAST CANCER SEVERAL YEARS AGO - AND IS FINE NOW, THANK G-D. BUT, I FELT LEFT OUT - SHE DID NOT DO IT - BUT PEOPLE INSTINCTIVELY GO TO OTHERS OF A SIMILAR KIND.
TAKE CARE OF YOU - YOUR COLUMN IS WONDERFUL AND, OUR HOLY DAYS ARE COMING UP NEXT WEEK, I SHALL PRAY FOR YOU

JANICE

Sent by JANICE | 7:59 PM ET | 09-07-2007

I had trouble posting earlier and it seeems the first two never made it, but I'll try again. Yes, I wish I could see fewer and fewer people every week at the treatment center, including myself, but it just doesn't seem to be happening that way. Yesterday we couldn't find a single parking space in the garage at the Swedish Cancer Institute in Seattle where I go for my weekly basting. The waiting room for the lab had few empty chairs, and the waiting room for the treatment center was kind of busy too. And busy in a bad way - a few new faces with that tell-tale deer in the headlights look that we all had when we were first diagnosed.

What can be done about it? Continued pressure on our otherwise distracted legislators to put more spending towards the war on cancer, more pressure to make health care more affordable so that those who have cancer can be adequately treated. And what can we do? Keep up this blog and by all means reach out in a personal way to all those new patients to let them know they're not alone - we're here to offer help too.

Sent by Bob Maimone | 9:48 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Dear Leroy -

As I sit in the waiting room and look around the cancer center - I am amazed at the sheer number of people with cancer. How did this happen? Richard Nixon declared war on cancer in 1970 - and I can say with most certainty - that this is one war we are not winning. Yes, we may be keeping people alive longer, but few are offered a cure.

Sent by Cindy Craig | 10:28 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Dear Leroy and ALL,
For forty-five years my husband and i have taken our traditional "Rosh Hashanah walk" ,we talk about the previous year, the present, and our future.For five years we have been afraid to discuss the future (one year i couldn't walk,and we pretended), but even though this year is really no different, diagnosis wise,we wiil talk about our future--no matter what and no matter how. There is saddness, oh so much saddness, not just for all of us,but the world is sad and we MUST NOT let it control our thoughts. Think about taking a walk. It will clear our minds and our hearts. Take care ALL and take a walk---anywhere and just B-R-E-A-T-H-E. xo dee

Sent by dee | 11:40 PM ET | 09-07-2007

Many of us depend on your blog for support late at night when everyone else is asleep and we are clinging to the last hour of another day of survival. My only regret is all the YOUNG PEOPLE who I see at the hospital. I have lived a long fulfillijng life and they have just begun thier journey, yet they carry the same disease as I do and it is just not fair to them. We love you Leroy, so lets keep this idea bank open for those of us who need it so much.

Sent by John Zizelmann | 12:12 AM ET | 09-08-2007

Hi Leroy,

I have stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. I was diagnosed in June. The first cocktail of Chemo did nothing. The Cancer is growing in the Liver and the lung and the lymph nodes around the lung. I am 60 years old. I have so much I want to do with so little time to do it. I'm fighting as hard as I can but I get very tired.

I have my own blog - www.jorenge.blogspot.com

Please visit it and let me know what you think.

Thank you for listening. I just love your blog.

Josephine

Sent by Josephine Monteleone | 3:39 AM ET | 09-08-2007

Hi Leroy - I have listened by podcast to your commentaries for many months but I have been unable to listen to the last 3 weeks worth out of fear- fear that I am about to become a member of the cancer community. I am waiting for the results of a biopsy done on a mass on my thyroid gland. I have prayed for you over the past months and now I pray that you and I will only share a love of public radio, rather than being fellow members of the ever expanding cancer community. I too, wish that this was a community that was shrinking in members rather than growing. Thank you for sharing your experiences, the public radio community is richer for it.

Sent by janet hardy | 10:29 AM ET | 09-08-2007

Every day we live, cancer unfortunately is always with us. After 2 years, my breast cancer has metasticized (not sure of spelling). So here we go again. First round of treatments was followed by ct scans, and the cancer has grown. Now doing more new chemo drugs. Seems like an endless cycle, but a cycle you have to stay on. I may have a bad day, but you have to pick yourself up and go forward. My inspiration is 16 years old. I think we all have some kind inspiration to keep us going forward. God bless.

Sent by Jaen | 11:01 AM ET | 09-08-2007

I agree I want the war on cancer over with and a cure. I also remember Richard Nixon saying that in 1970 when my Grandmother had colon cancer.
But how do they cure all these different cancers so many kinds and cell types. Its not just one kind there are so many kinds and each person situation is so different.
Yes I want the cure ..but being terminal and yes I survived 10yrs when they told me three months thats a my break through I guess..That 10yrs ago some meds were not out there . That some new trials drugs are out there one that I tried worked its a darn catch 22 but I am still here talking about it.
The other thing I know for me at least they are working to cure and do better things in the way of stem cell transplants and donor transplant..Thats all I can hope for as thats the next step if it comes back.
Research takes time and Money. Tons of it.
I am here due to a Trial in 2001.The drugs were out Fda approved in Nov of 97
but usage was started as far back as 92.
We have stop and think that they try this stuff out on humans to bring it to approval. Some people not educated might blow off a trial. I know in the one I was in there were 21 of us in Metro-Detroit and 106 that tryed it in Texas. I ironically this was my first remission cause I was willing to listen ask questions and give my doctors enough time to collect the data..they needed to say yes this could possibly work. I have a mixed cell stage 4 lymphoma. That was not by no means was easy to treat..and no cure out there at this point only becoming stable but for how long?
So I hope one day...the Leukemia Lymphoma Society is right that there is a cure so my Grandkids don't have to deal with this..if not..there is much progess..out there in the treatments and the knowledge to fight it. Not an easy chore I guess.
Have a great day Everyone...
ps..Sam Means 33YRs..That is Awesome you just gave me hope to keep plugging away..Thanks!

Sent by Kerry | 11:23 AM ET | 09-08-2007

For some reason, this post reminds me of a poem that someone here mentioned awhile back called "Kindness." It's by a Palestinian woman... whose name escapes my chemo brain. Anyway, essentially it says we must first know suffering in order to really feel compassion for others. I think that's why this blog feels so warm and supportive and accepting. Of course, there are lots of other kinds of suffering, not just cancer...and as you say, some of those sufferers have less support than we do. For awhile, I wondered if my awareness of being suddenly surrounded by people affected by cancer was maybe just like the old saying about pregnancy: you never see a pregnant woman until you are pregnant yourself, and then they're everywhere! But then the oncology nurses told me that over the past decade or so, they have seen a hugeincrease in patients and now often have to use a second room for infusion ...and then that one fills up,too, so people have to wait! It seems that a lot of improvements have been made in treatment, at least for some kinds of cancer, but meanwhile, more and more people are being diagnosed with cancer!

Sent by Doris | 11:58 AM ET | 09-08-2007

I wonder if prior to cancer I lived in a state of oblivion, this will never happen to me. Maybe there were stories on the news everyday discussing cancer that I didn't hear. Perhaps the numbers have not increased as much as our awareness has. I, like all of you, long for the day when no person ever has to hear the words "you have cancer". I pray that this disease goes the way of the dinosaur, extinction can not happen soon enough. In the meantime, I remain strong and hopeful. I have lost much to this disease, but I'm not willing to give in! So to my sisters and brothers in this community I send my prayers and hope to each of you every day. Life is beautiful and worth fighting for.
Peace, Martie

Sent by Martie | 1:29 PM ET | 09-08-2007

A couple of hours after I read this post on Friday, I found out that my friend of 10+ yrs had lost her battle with GBM. She made it almost 3 weeks past her 1 yr anniversary from her diagnosis. Even thought it is not a surprise, it still doesn't seem real. We will miss her.

Sent by Tammy | 6:50 PM ET | 09-08-2007

Hey Leroy, I can totally relate to your blog today. While going thru chemo with my Dad 1 1/2 years ago I wished on a daily basis that cure would come. I still do wish that except it is to late for him. I have been going to chemo with my best friend (Stage III Colon Cancer) and it brings back a lot of feelings. Things have changed a little for the best but it has taken way to long for such small changes. I pray for large changes in a small amount of time. Love and Peace to all.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:26 PM ET | 09-08-2007

I am 72 years old. When I watched my aunt die of cancer in 1949, I was 14 years old and I remember thinking, "Well, by the time I'm an old lady someone will have found a cure for this and we won't have to worry about it. Ha!"

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 11:11 PM ET | 09-08-2007

Leroy...to add to your bad CA jokes...
Two tumors walked into a bar...the third one ducked!

GOod health to you

Sent by Karen | 9:52 AM ET | 09-09-2007

I'm another one without cancer - yet - although my Dad died of pancreatic cancer. I've always thought there might be a link between that form of cancer and obesity, something I've fought all my life and never won so in many ways I wait for the final turn with cancer. But that's not really why I read your blog. I read because I read your e-mails from Nightline years ago and loved your writing whether or not I watched the show that night. You made it clear that there were individuals behind the show who wanted to do the best for us in just 30 minutes, to make us think and care about the world around us at the end of the day. I miss you and Ted Koppel and the rest of that crew of thoughtful, principled journalists, and your blog gives me a daily "fix" of that thinking and writing again, and I appreciate it so much. And thank you to the links about Rwanda; I shared them with a good friend and we both cried, too. Thank you for everything.

Sent by Sandy Shaner | 10:03 AM ET | 09-09-2007

I worked full-time at an animal shelter for several years. We had a very similar attitude about our job. We would tell people, "Our ultimate goal is to put ourselves out of business," knowing all the while that it'll never happen. It was sad, but we accepted it and put our hearts into our work all the more.

What you talk about is kind of the same way. It is what it is, and for now we know there will be no shortage in the cancer business for a long time. It is sad, but we accept our reality and put our hearts into our community all the more. For now at least, that's the best thing we can do.

All the best,
Susan
http://lemonmargaritas.com

Sent by Susan Metters | 6:11 PM ET | 09-09-2007

Dear Leroy,
The Jewish New Year is this Thursday, and I wanted to share an idea with you about this holiday which so well captures the essence of your blog.
The New Year, according to tradition, is also the anniversary of the day that G-d finished the process of creating the world. Immediately afterward, God, according to the Bible, rested, declaring a Sabbath day. Obviously, there is no physical need for G-d to rest from overexertion, so there must be a more profound reason for the rest. God rested as the last act in the world's formation, to cease the creative process and harness it. If G-d had not ended the process of creation, it would have continued unbridled. That is what cancer is - creation unleashed, that knows no bounds. This unending creativity is ultimately destructive - and deadly. What you have shown through your blog is that even the wild, uncontrollable nature of cancer can be channeled into an amazingly positive endeavor - your blog. May God give you the strength to continue enlightening us for years to come.
-Jon

Sent by Jon | 6:40 PM ET | 09-09-2007

Yes, like the others who have posted here, I wish this blog could become obsolete. There's just too much cancer out there for that to happen any time soon, though.

All this talk about cancer becoming obsolete calls to mind something I saw on my last visit to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York. I was walking down the street after my appointment was over, and saw several hospital employees standing outside on the sidewalk, smoking - still clad in their medical garb. I don't have lung cancer, I have lymphoma. I've also never smoked (so, I suppose I don't fully understand what a dreadful addiction it is - although I know how hard it was for my father to quit, before he died of emphysema). Having just dropped a few grand on high-tech CT and PET scans for my cancer, and having just witnessed the high-tech wonders of that cancer hospital, I felt like going up to those people and saying, "Do you have any idea what you're doing to yourself? You could end up like me!"

I held my tongue. These employees of a cancer hospital have to know, better than most, the risk they're running. They don't need me to tell them. I went on my way, wishing they could find the strength within them to do this one thing, taking a small step in the direction of making cancer obsolete.

Carl
"A Pastor's Cancer Diary"
http://www.cewilton.blogspot.com

Sent by Carl Wilton | 10:19 PM ET | 09-09-2007

I don't quite understand what it's like to live with cancer... my father died within 4 days of knowing he had the disease. It was painful to know there was nothing I, or anybody, for that matter, could do. This blog today... I don't think its possible to put an end to sickness and dying (although we probably will one day find a cure for cancer). I guess it'd be easier to ask for what the meaning of life is... and expect an answer.:)
Hoping for you what I hope for myself,
Sandra

Sent by Sandra | 1:34 AM ET | 09-10-2007

A friend at our church just learned he has a very rare form of Lymphoma. His doctor told him it is essentially "untreatable." I told him to refuse to believe that. When I was diagnosed five years ago with a low-grade glioma (primary brain tumor), I was told it would never be gone -- that I would deal with it for the rest of my life. I'm on my fourth occurrence of the tumor and my fourth different treatment (a second type of chemotherapy after radiation treatments, two brain surgeries and a different type of chemotherapy.) After my most recent MRI, which looked fantastic, I told my neuro-oncologist that the scan was good news because I plan to be around long enough to see him put out of business. He smiled when he said, "You know, that may not be too long away." At each recurrence, my physician team has come up with something entirely new to treat this thing. I have been incredibly fortunate to respond extremely well to each treatment. I do believe major strides are being made every day toward the goal of eliminating cancer from our lives or at least turning it into a chronic disease that can be effectively managed by medications that have few if any side effects. When I read about the research going on with RNA interference and epigenetic alterations I feel ever more hopeful. Hope, all by itself, is key to doing well, I believe. Not to sound like a pollyanna, but I believe that the more I believe in my docs and my treatment protocols, the better I respond. So far, so good!

Sent by Kathleen | 10:24 AM ET | 09-10-2007

Hi Leroy
I feel your pain...but there are more of us because more of us are living. And that is a good thing. But no matter how long I stay cancer free, I will always feel like a member if the "community." My scans are on the 24th of this month. Till then I hold my breath, and hopefully afterwards I can think of other things till the next four month check up. Thats how it goes, but I have met (and lost) some wonderful friends on this journey. Even some circus folks once. Cancer touches all of us. And so do you...keep on blogging.

Sent by Ellie Wingerson | 7:29 PM ET | 09-11-2007

When I started chemo, I was not only amazed at how many people were there in the chemo room with me; but also, how young most of them were.

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 9:14 PM ET | 09-11-2007

I like the comment that there are so many of us because we are living longer.

I'm an inveterate learner about my cancer (CLL). I see many survival charts. I should be dead now, but actually am doing pretty well. I'm one of the longer-lived persons with my aggressive disease.

In a group, there is support and understanding. My cancer is rare, but we have a group that meets bi-monthly. Only another CLL patients 'gets it'.

Sent by Scott S. | 9:04 PM ET | 09-13-2007

First time I have read this and the last entry weighed on me. I hope you will seek and tell those important to you in your life how important they were. I hope you will take some time each day to enjoy the day, the sun, wind, rain, the dark. It's been tough on you, but its a wonderous place, make the most of your trip.

Sent by Ken Doake | 5:46 PM ET | 09-20-2007