Finding the Strength to Get Through

 
“I've said before that we can get through just about anything. I need that to be true. ”
 
 

I was prepared for the artificial vertebra. That's what the surgery was about.

But I don't think I was ready for the drains in my spine. Or the pump in my arm that fills my body with antibiotics.

I've said before that we can get through just about anything. I need that to be true. More true than anything I've said in a while.

In about 8 weeks I can have some doubt, but now I need all the strength I can find.

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Leroy, Guess the doctors do not want to take a chance on an infection...Better to be safe than sorry.Hang in there..strength will come day by day!!

Sent by Ruth from Montreal | 7:56 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, Every ounce of spirtual and mental strength I have is now being sent to you. You are greatly loved.

Sent by Gail | 8:00 AM ET | 10-29-2007

We are here to help you find that strength. So many in this community are so strong and seem to inspire us each time they share key points on their journey.

Hang in there Leroy, rest if you can, and come read stories from your comrades later today

Sent by Melissa T | 8:00 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Hello Leroy,

Visualize this kiddo: there is a global circle of people surrounding you, right this very minute, every minute of everyday, even throughout the wee hours of the night, sending you strength, love, beams of laughter, more love, warmth, healing. It is simply here, everywhere, yours for the taking, because we love you, and want to help you through this very hard time. There's nothing you have to do, except let it in. It can filter in through your skin, your mind, your spirit, your heart. Imagine the anxiety and angst draining out through those drains in your spine, and getting even more good stuff, along with the antibiotics through that pump in your arm.

Remember, we love you, we love you, we love you. (and Laurie too.)
Hang in there kiddo. Take some slow, deep breaths, and ask for foot massages, ask for whatever you need, it's okay to ask, it's absolutely okay to be very needy right now. You do have a lot to get through, and I'm visualizing you getting through it.

Heartlight, peace, endurance, perseverance,

Kim Blankenship and Virgie Bletsch

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 8:01 AM ET | 10-29-2007

One hour at a time...one day at a time...breathe in, breathe out...you CAN do this. Breathe in..."I am"...breathe out..."at peace". While the next 8 weeks will likely not pass quickly, please know we are there with you, giving you strength to help pass the time and heal, With much love and lots of hugs....sending prayers your way.

Sent by Karen | 8:02 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Good morning Leroy,

Getting mentally ready for surgery is difficult enough. No one is ever prepared for set backs, redos, and hurtles. It is comparable to 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

Healing takes energy. To get energy at times requires rest, food (of course), doses of positive thoughts, and being kind to yourself.

Hang in there, we are all here to support and sending you every positive vibe we can while you heal, and hopefully moving you toward 2 steps forward and holding that position.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:04 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy:
If wishes were medicine to fight your Cancer you'd be getting ready for the Boston Marathon!
Namaste,
Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 8:05 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, for right now, believe in the drains and the pump. Believe that the antibiotics will kill the infection. Believe that your doctors know what they're doing or, at least, are doing the best that they can. Beleive in your body's ability to heal.

Don't give up Hope, Leroy. Believe in yourself.

Sent by Marilyn | 8:05 AM ET | 10-29-2007

You can do it Leroy. Just hold tight. Today is a new day. ~Karen

Sent by Karen | 8:07 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Are we ever really prepared for any of this? Stay strong. There is lots of positive energy, good wishes and prayers from this group to help. One day at a time.

Sent by Dona | 8:10 AM ET | 10-29-2007

A better Morning Leroy, Better ones WILL come.
Maybe we -(ourselves and the medical profession). are gettimg a little too flip and take too much for granted in this Modern world. I think we should question more and realize that they are only human and do not know all the answers. Aside from telling you that you will have 8 more weeks of hell, what else do they tell you? Are YOU the "Pioneer Patient" that has gone through this experience? If you are the first one Leroy, well you certainly are writing history with your stamina and courage. But have they learned anything about cancer from all your suffering? After all, that was the original objective wasn't it? Did they rid your spine of it or is it still around?
Oh Leroy, I know this is not the kind of message you want but I kinda want to make you angry with it all. Anger brings incredible strength sometimes. Are you too nice? It IS your body after all.
Hope you are able to get up and walk a bit. How is the vision, mine has continued to change since my stroke over six mos ago. How much antibiotics can the system stand? Does anyone know, or are they writing their text books now based on your reactions?
Ger Mad!! I send you MY angry strength!
Let's get this month of October over with!!

Sent by J C R | 8:12 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Keep your chin up, Leroy. Just remember all the people you have pulling for you. You are in my prayers daily.

Sent by Daphne | 8:21 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
I know things seem dark right now and you have every right to indulge in a pity party. My husband is the fighter but I also have to fight on his behalf and for myself sometimes. Just when I think we can't take one more thing with this monster, some good news comes along or he has a really good day and we are back to square one of hope. Please don't give up as you have come so far to lose hope and faith. We need you to get through this as you have all the other things because you are such a mountain of strength for so many of us. I wish you a day with less pain!!! Take care of Laurie.

Sent by Kathie | 8:21 AM ET | 10-29-2007

It is normal that now you have some doubts and a little fear. Now is the time you sit back, take a deep breath and close you eyes....because you see it is this time that we, your cyber friends and your flesh ones hold you and breath for you. Rest and heal dear Leroy.
Karen

Sent by Karen | 8:28 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

If I could personally give you some of my strength, I would...

We are all hanging in there with you. Take it one day at a time, my friend...one hour at a time if you have to...

Sent by Faun | 8:29 AM ET | 10-29-2007

All of this pain and suffering will pass but not as quickly as you would like it to. Draw upon that inner strength that has gotten you through difficult times before. It is there so call upon it at this time. It may sound trite and overused by some but the power of prayer is an awesome ally! The bloggers here will do our part so reach out and ask God for His mercy, grace and healing power to see you through this most difficult time.

Don't quit; don't give up; use whatever means it takes to get you through each day. Drugs are your friend at this time. Use them to reduce or eliminate the pain so that your body can heal.

It is easy for us to say what must be done but you are the one who has to do it. Use all of your inner strength to get you through. We are here. Sending prayers and good thoughts.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:32 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy
All we can do is take one day at a time, make that one minute in this case. You have all the prayers and positive energy of your friends on this blog to support you. We are all thinking and praying for you.
With deep caring,
Judy

Sent by Judy | 8:34 AM ET | 10-29-2007

when i had my lung surgery the recovery was long and it reduced me to the weakest person i've ever been. there were rough, dark days. all along, i reminded myself of a quotation i had seen: "peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of these things and be calm in your heart." i know it is hard to be peacful right now considering what you are dealing with; what reality has become is iv's and pain and you hadn't planned for it. you ARE strong and you CAN get through this. wishing you so much peace.

Sent by ejd | 8:45 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I hope that one place you'll look, while searching for strength, is at the Comments Section of your blog. We wish you all the strength you can manage. I hope small daily pleasures make their way in, while you are working your way out of the hospital.

Sent by Rebecca | 8:48 AM ET | 10-29-2007

My mother gave me a mug one day that reads "you are my sweet daughter and I root for your happiness" with a huge tree pictured on it. Leroy, we are your loving friends encircling the tree of life, which is you, rooting for you, praying for you! One step and one breath at a time!

Sent by nancy | 8:53 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
Downshift into first gear. Moment by moment can become second by second. My thoughts are with you all the way.

Betsey Kuzia

Sent by Betsey Kuzia | 9:05 AM ET | 10-29-2007

These are the tough days but these will pass - God willing - and as your body heals, your world will expand and your ability to find pleasure in many different things will return.

We are all praying for you to feel a mammoth infusion of strength along with the antibiotics and pain meds to help you through these difficult days.

Sent by Sara (MD) | 9:07 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy...let me tell you a little story about my son when he was 19 years old. They had just removed a brain tumor and he became infected with spinal meningitus. It was particularly tough to fight; recurred at least four times and he was several times on the brink of death. They finally put him on a particularly virulent antibiotic which they wanted to go directly to his brain so they inserted a needle into his brain with a tube which hooked up to his intravenous...they had difficulty stabilizing the needle/tube though, so one of these doctors came up with the idea of using an empty, plastic, liquid creamer tub which they placed on his head, over the head and hooked the tube through the outside.

Imagine this big guy, with a big, (then bald, due to surgery) head) and this little white fez-like plastic "hat" with a tube coming out. He looked ridiculous, and of course it was not comfortable and hard to move. BUT....it did the trick. I worried of course, because this thing was taking a toll on him (he had dropped from 198 to 135 lbs) and this particular antibiotic had terrible side effects, but it DID work. If it hadn't, he would have died...no question about it.

So put up with those pesky old antibiotics, the drains, and the pump....they're a pain in the arse...but they will do the job....and that's the important thing right now.

When the days are the darkest, it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is still there....you're being lead to it, supported by all our love and prayers!!

Sent by betty obst | 9:09 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Have you ever watched professional wrestling?
OK, sure you haven't.
Anyway.
In wrestling there is a time when the Hero is being beaten. The bad guy has him down, and is pummelling him. But then our Hero turns to the crowd...perhaps raising his arm in a plea for help. The crowd, answering the call of the Hero begins to cheer, and our Hero seems to soak up the energy of the crowd. Fighting his way to his feet with renewed energy, the Hero defeats the bad guy and most of his extended family. The crowd goes wild.
I really wish that were true.
The best we can do is our emails.
Leroy you have the strength.
Let LeroyMANIA run WILD BROTHAH... WOOOOO!!!!

Sent by Brit | 9:10 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy

Well, 8 weeks is about Christmas and Hannukah time, so keep those two blessed holidays in mind as your goal.

Tell us more. Do the drains limit mobility? Can you walk short distances? Is your spinal pain any better? Are you eating well?
Are you having visitors? Have you encountered any remarkable nurses or aides? Are you in isolation because of the infection? Can you watch movies or even television? Do you type the blog yourself right now, or have someone else type what you dictate? What do you see from your hospital window? Tell us...we are interested.

Thinking of you, and sending encouragement.

Wendy

Sent by wendy adamson | 9:11 AM ET | 10-29-2007

One hour at a time.

I can't say I know what you are going through but I can say that you are loved by many.

We all send you some serious strength and positive energy.

One hour at a time. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Peace, strength and hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 9:16 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Please try and stay strong. It's difficult, but you'll make it. We're all here for you sending positive energy.

Sent by Sandy Lathe | 9:18 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I went for a bike ride last night. A couple miles up to the coffee shop and back to get a cup of joe and a croissant. A year ago I was in a wheelchair and it took me ten or fifteen minutes just to make it from the bed to the bathroom. It is almost unbelievable as to what our bodies can do. Hang in there. Jason Bourne ain't got nothing on you.

Sent by Scott Fertig | 9:19 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, I truly understand how you feel about the drains - oh my gosh, they were the worst part of my mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries. Hated 'em! I was also none too fond of my port, which I had for 1 1/2 years. I understood and very much appreciated its usefulness, but it didn't make me like it any better.

Cancer certainly does put you through things you never could have imagined, both physical and mental. And you get through it all because, as we've all said here many times before, you have no choice. So I know that you will find the strength to make it through the next 8 weeks, one minute/hour/day/week at a time - because you know you must. And I do hope that it's helpful to know that you have this (not so) small army of supporters behind you.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 9:23 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Like the "Little Engine that Could" ... I THINK I CAN .. I THINK I CAN!
YES YOU CAN!!! You better .. remember the title of your blog... your first words.. .A LIFE WORTH LIVING!!!!!
hang in there my dear virtual friend... we are all in this together!
Francesca from Zurich

Sent by Francesca Gessmann | 9:25 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
Keep the fight, one hour,one day at time. Before you know it, a few weeks will pass and things will be better. All energy is pointed in your direction.

Sent by Pat | 9:26 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
I regret the pain, worry, fatigue and doubt you feel right now. I think back to the big bumps I encountered and reflected on what I used to tell myself. I am not an especially religious individual, but I sure did a lot more praying. I would tell myself "this too shall pass," "Let go and let God," and sometimes I would find myself launching into prayers without any forethought. For the cancer cells (or you could substitute any nasty type cell you want) I would visualize that my tumor was like a log in the fireplace. I would light it, watch it burn into embers and finally imagine the wind blowing the dust away. Sometimes when things were at their worst and my faith was gone (and I can really be a pessimist) things WOULD look up. I realized even when in doubt, good things do happen. I wish you lots of strength.

Sent by Beth S. | 9:29 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, My prayers are with you. I ask you to close your eyes and imagine a band of Angels around you laying warm gentle healing hands upon you. We are here for you and hear you - keep seeking us. I know the drains are yucky. I had 4 drains after my Mastectomy. Hang in there buddy!

Sent by Carolyn | 9:32 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

Sure this is a tough time but you can do it! Those of us who've had mastectomies had drains and they're annoying but that's all. Once they're out (hurray!) you'll forget all about them.

Your antibiotics are for the infection, remember!

You're getting excellent care. Hang tough. We've got your back!

Sue

Sent by Sue | 9:35 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I know this is easier said then done, but take one day at a time, Leroy, that's all you can do. It is what it is.

Sent by Anita | 9:38 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Mr. Sievers...Leroy...cyber friend...

I am one of many, most strangers to one another, brought together from many places in this world by YOU. We look for you via your blog every day and empathize with your pain, your fear,and your fatique.

Healing is often the worst part of having cancer once the terror of hearing the diagnosis is under control. The medical folks never tell us exactly what to expect; to my mind,only other survivors really "get it".

I hope you read, or have read to you, comments from those responding to your blog...WE have been there and are here to tell you to fight now through the drains, the pains, the tough stuff of healing.

You,and Laurie, have a lot of living to do. Remember, having a better tomorrow is worth getting through today.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy Miles | 9:39 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy -- Take all the strength from those who are praying for you. You're an inspiration to all who have the privilege of reading your blog.

Sent by Patricia | 9:41 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
Continue to have HOPE! You have given us all a reason to believe and have hope.
Carolynn

Sent by Carolynn Dubicki | 9:44 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I know we don't know each other but I think you should know that I am here, I think, care and hope for you.

Sent by Gaila | 9:45 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, I wish I could be there at your beside, to hold your hand and help you through this. Know that you are in my thoughts daily, and that I will continue to surround you with prayer for strength, healing, and comfort.

Sent by Lesa in Kansas | 9:47 AM ET | 10-29-2007

We are all out here praying for you, and willing that your strength that has always been there will sustain you. Many people care for you, so feel our love and collective strength.

Sent by Kate | 9:49 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

take strength in the fact that we are all pulling for you. Also, take one day at a time. A couple days add up and then before you know it a week will have passed. You will get better! Good Luck!

Sent by LJ | 9:49 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Dude, a year from now, you'll look back on all this, shake your head and chuckle at your doubt. You can do this...we're all behind you, sending you best wishes and prayers always!

Sent by Joyce | 9:51 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Listening to you on the radio I felt an immediate conection with you. Your strength is a model for all of us. Thanks you for another reminder of all the things I have to be grafetful for.

You have touched many lives. My thoughts are with you.

Jay, Erin NY

Sent by Jay Schissell | 9:52 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,
Ditto to everything everyone else has said, since they say it so well, so earnestly and with so much love and respect for you, Laurie and what you are having to endure. You are all in my prayers everyday, throughout the day, my heart aches for what everyone here on this blog and you, Leroy, have had to go through. Hang in there, today is another day you are here on this earth and I pray for speedy healing for you,
Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 9:53 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I can't add anything wiser or more loving than the comments you've gotten already, but like everyone, I think of you everyday and hope for your complete healing. I've learned that hope is strong and positive. It's no wimp and neither are you!

Sent by Nancy Abbott | 9:53 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I want you to know how much this blog has meant to my wife and I. We dramatically changed the direction we were headed in dealing with her cancer. Please let the knowledge of the improvements this blog has made in our lives, help sustain you. You make a difference!

Sent by Steve | 9:55 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I know all these people love you and are wishing you strength and courage (and I am, too) but I want to remind you that it's also OK to cry and complain and feel sorry for yourself because this, what you are going through right now, this sucks. It sucks big time. I'm sure it hurts like hell and you're discouraged and frustrated and wondering about your future and are scared half to death.

After my double mastectomy, everyone was so damn cheery all the time and all I really wanted at times was someone to acknowledge that it sucked. It hurt something fierce and I was frightened and exhausted. So if you need that, if you need someone to just hear you say "this sucks", I hear you. I'm sure many others on this page have been there and hear you, too. And one thing to cling on to is this: It gets better.

Hang in there any which way you can.

Sent by Karole Ives, Duluth MN | 9:57 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

Stay strong in spirit, and forgive yourself when it lapses a bit...you are, after all, only human.

My thoughts, prayers and the all important positive vibes are with you each and every moment of recovery.

Wendy

Sent by Wendy Murphey | 10:00 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Keep tellig yourself just that..."we can get through anything!!!". You are a strong individual and I am more than positive, that although tough right now, you WILL get through this. Keep beating IT and fighting back with all your might and you will succeed in this battle!

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you EACH AND EVERYDAY!

Love,
Cristina

Sent by Cristina Gonzalez Tampa, FL | 10:01 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy you wrote this awhile ago. I take great solace in it. I hope you do to:

"... our strength will be your strength. We will all be with you, and with everyone else out there facing similar challenges. Don't be afraid. We're all in this together. You're not alone"

Sent by Jannette | 10:01 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, you sound weary today. My thoughts and prayers will be directed towards that end: that you rest better so that you can heal faster. As you have encouraged those of us who read or listen to your words every day, let each of us and the hundreds who don't write but support you in their thoughts encourage and support you now.

Sent by glenda | 10:12 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
I remember having 3 drains at once & getting bombarded with all those antibiotics...worst part of all the surgeries and chemo! They don't tell you antibiotics cause depression but they do. Today I will be on my knees praying for your spunk to sustain you. With love from Pat

Sent by Pat McRee | 10:15 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I know you will find the strength! You have every right to feel disappointed. But I know in my heart the antibodics are working and each and every day you feel stronger with notable improvement and healing. Prayers and love to you and your family.

Sent by Kay | 10:16 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,

Right now I am crying for you...I am crying because the hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place........I am crying for my husband and all of us who are struggling on a daily basis. I know that I must be the most pessimistic person on this blog, but despite a year and a half of therapy I can't change my way of thinking. I just received an email from a friend who I met on this blog about 8 months ago and we have been corresponding on a daily basis about our husband's illness; she too is a caretaker. I find more comfort in my discussions with her than I do my therapist because she is walking in my shoes. She just informed me via email that things are not going well with her husband. This too makes it a very sad day for me.

Hang in there Leroy. I wish you all the strength you can find. Please don't give up! We all love you.

Prayers to you and Laurie and may God bless us all.

Sent by sasha | 10:16 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Sending peaceful thoughts your way. We're praying for you everyday. Keep on fighting Leroy. We're cheering for you.

Sent by Julie | 10:17 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy and Laurie, just another set of hearts sending you strength, support and hope for all better things. With respect, know you are in our thoughts.

Sent by Stitches | 10:20 AM ET | 10-29-2007

What Wendy A. said earlier: tell us more. We're a good audience for all the details, gory and otherwise. We really do know whereof you speak.

About three years ago, I watched my brother--6'4", 220 lbs., handsome, lifelong athlete--diminish under the weight of Guillain-Barre syndrome. Four months in the shop, rounds of treatments, and he got smaller and more fragile and it was not easy to see. But once the meds had done their job, once the condition had run its course, he came back quickly and completely. You will, too, Leroy, once the antibiotics are done and the drains are removed and you get back into a more normal routine. It's just hard to hold onto that image on this side of the recovery, but you know it's true. Let us know when that turning point day comes, and there will be much rejoicing and many margaritas!

Peace
jj

Sent by Joan Jones | 10:22 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,

Didn't think my Mom was going to make it through the weekend. The last chemo treatment and infection practically wiped her out. There were several very scary days, and when she started slurring her words, we were afraid she'd had a stroke. Apparently, it was just the pain medicine. She's still feels like hell, but now thinks she might make it through this. One step forward, two steps back, sometimes, which is so absolutely disgusting. Right now, though, I'm grateful to just have her alive. And you, alive. So, hang in there. It seems so trite, but that's really all you can do. And pray, of course, without ceasing. As much as you've been through, you're more than entitled to feel discouraged sometimes. Sometimes the little girl in me where everything is "happily ever after" longs to live somewhere like Stepford, where everything is nice and tidy, and where you can plaster a smile on your face, and blow perfumed, rainbow-colored smoke through all your orifices, but it ain't gonna happen. All too often in the Real World, Life Just Stinks! but it's the only one we've got, and there are many others in worse shape than we are. We can't see all the way down the road, but God can, so may he Bless you and Laurie, and everyone here. There are still things to be thankful for.

Sent by Connie E. | 10:24 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

I believe if there's one thing this foray into pain, misery and limited options has taught you, I'm sure it's that you can handle more than you imagine.

If you ever start thinking you can't stand it anymore, tell yourself that since you ARE standing it, you've already proven that thought to be false.

You can make it, Leroy. One breath at a time, one heartbeat at a time, one more gaze into Laurie's eyes. Your fight is even bigger than you; it's all of us. You drew us in; we're behind you, cheering you on; now, realize you're going through this for a higher and nobler reason than self-preservation alone. We're in this together, here with you, Leroy, no matter what.

As for our hearts, our well wishes, and our love for you, Leroy, to almost quote the famous song:

Ain't no mountain high enough,
Ain't no valley low enough,
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep us from getting to you, man.

Sent by Leonard | 10:28 AM ET | 10-29-2007

After reading the 43 supportive blog responses so far this morning, I am focusing my energy, strength, love, healing and encouragement in your direction. We are all here supporting and praying for you. You can do this, Leroy. You can.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:29 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, for three and a half years people have been telling me that I'm the strongest person they know. Well, you are the strongest person *I* know--but you have every moment of my strength, 24/7. Take whatever you need. Laurie--you take what you need, too.
What good is our strength if we can't share it? We're much stronger together than alone.

Sent by Pat Steer | 10:30 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, my prayers are with you and your family everyday. May God bless you in your times of need.

Sent by Ken | 10:31 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, sounds like you are slogging through the Slough of Despond. Hang in there...major surgery is not a perfect practice. Give your body a chance to heal. Lots of folks are counting on you to give THEM a hand and are willing to give back to you. I keep you in my thoughts.

Sent by Kitty Jungkind | 10:31 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Sorry Pal, but this is no time to lay down and rest. I know, we all know, that the fight is long and hard...and I do not mean that you can't feel tired. HOWEVER, the rest of your life is waiting for you...so dust yourself off and start moving toward it. You know better than anyone, that if ANY of us lay down , there is the chance that we can't get back up. Get up LeRoy...Get up!

Sent by liz zimmerman | 10:32 AM ET | 10-29-2007

To those who have never faced cancer, drains and antibiotic drips sound like minor issues, but to those who are dealing with such things first hand, it's a different story. Both are absolute necessities and both are a pain in the butt. You can do this Leroy.
Just visual all of us right there beside (what a pep rally!!!)... rooting for you, smiling at you, with eyes of love.

Sent by Joan F | 10:38 AM ET | 10-29-2007

So far I have found it incredible how much you have been able to deal with, but just of late it seems to ahve come so thick and so fast with no chance for respite, no chance to take a step forward before being pushed back.
I think that we out here all have our own Ways, our own recipes for dealing with stuff. Some of it might work for you and some might be just not your Way.
My Way is to break it down into being a time factor and find ways to pass the time, even by just sleeping and allowing my body to heal .
You will know what helps you best - humour, tears, family, love, friends, knowledge...... I don't know. I don't know, cannot know how hard this is for you right now.
I hope you can access that part of yourself that does know.
Out here, we are doing what we can.... the world must be, should be, humming with all the positive mental vibes coming your way.

Sent by JJ | 10:44 AM ET | 10-29-2007

You, our strong friend, are in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of strong people. If we could send you some more strength to get you over this hump, we would. Take it a day at at time, an hour at a time, or a minute at a time if need be. Better times are ahead. Try to enjoy at least one thing from each day, because those things are there to be enjoyed. Hang in there, and update us when you can.

Sent by Art Ritter | 10:48 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
I am so sorry you are going through this. You will make it...tough as it is...I have no doubt. You and Laurie are in my prayers.
I do have a question. When are hospitals going to do something about the number of infections people are getting when in them???? I think we need to get mad about this. I sure hope your medical team is examining what happened and why so it doesn't happen again. I hope they are ashamed and embarrassed this has happened to you.
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:59 AM ET | 10-29-2007

I'm sending you all the strength I can muster. Every day.

Sent by MEM | 11:01 AM ET | 10-29-2007

The longest journey begins with a single step. One foot in front of the other. You don't have to do 8 weeks; just one day at a time. We are rooting for you Leroy. You can do it.

Sent by cv | 11:07 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy and Laurie,

While reading today's post, I could only think of one thing, written most eloquently by Bill Withers:

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

"Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

"Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

"Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

"If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

"So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

"Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me... "

Thank you for being able to share under all of your discomfort. Please take whatever strength you can from us.

Sheara

Sent by Sheara | 11:14 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Sometimes,I think, the only thing that helps is to find some wonderful ways to escape your current reality( as if that is very possible when you are in pain, uncomfortable!!)...Perhaps Laurie and other supporters could help with some pleasant distractions:
Watching some excellent foreign films...
Have your favorite music downloaded into an i-pod...
Having someone read to you when you are tired and can't sleep...
Have someone make a scrap book of your proudest accomplishments, trip to Hawaii, beautiful photos, etc...
Find out if service dogs could visit...
Once your appetite is back, have a meal tree made ( friends can sign up for one home cooked dinner each to be brought directly to you and Laurie over a period of a month)...
Have someone decorate your room...
Play relaxing CD's with sounds of rain or surf or bird calls...
I know these won't take away the heaviness of what is going on, but, perhaps, eventually, some of these ideas might help out in the recovery phase.Thanks for updating us-you are SO allowed to not feel positive right now. Know that we love and support you and your's every step of the way.


Sent by NancyGM | 11:14 AM ET | 10-29-2007

"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existenc." - Lin Yutang

I think there is a super highway waiting for you when you cross this rocky bridge Leroy. So many people are with you. Be strong.

Sent by Kari Worth | 11:34 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

Golly, look at all of the support. I am awestruck at the love, care and postive thoughts and felling that are aimed straight at you.

You can do anything you want. You can achieve anything you want.

Just because something is hard does not mean it is impossible.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 11:35 AM ET | 10-29-2007

In my heart I'm sending you the strength of a mighty army.

Sent by Tina Lewis | 11:43 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Ah, the drains. They never tell you up front about the drains, you just wake up with them hanging off your body. The worst was the one in my chest after open heart surgery. And they have your hands tied down because they leave you intubated until you are awake. And, of course, you can't tell them how much PAIN you are in because of the intubation. THAT was a bad day. But, then, the next day comes, and it's a little better, and the next is a little better, too. Leroy, you hang in there and be patient for the better days. They are coming.

Sent by Marcia | 11:43 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, I am sorry that you are struggling right now. It is a tough place to be, (over whelming). Just please try to draw from the strength from others. Al Cato's words say it all. Just try one day at a time!! Laurie, we are thinking of both of you and praying for strength for you too.

Sasha, I always look for your comments also. I know the road is very hard for you also. Our lives travel the same paths and I want you to know that you have helped to keep me up so many times with your comments here. I will pray for extra strength for you too as I know you seem to be struggling right now. We are all in this togeather.

As a last comment, it is great to see where people are responding from. I am always amazed to see Leroy, that people from all over the world are reading your blog and responding. You do touch so many. For those interested ===lets take a day and list the state or country that we are responding from.

Dorothy, in Oregon

Sent by dorothy | 11:44 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Karen said it beautifully. We will hold you and breathe for you and send you all the love and strength we can. "This too shall pass". We love you.

Sent by Lyn Banghart | 11:47 AM ET | 10-29-2007

Hello Leroy, hang in there this to shall pass. Been there, done this, its no fun but is still treatment going on. I would think how Blessed I was to have whatever I needed , to get me to whatever degree of better would be when this was one was over. Soooo many in the world have not,it really breaks you're heart.. I always try to have as much fun as I can.Made it lighter for family and friends,brought out the best in everyone.For the first time in my life I loved it when family and friends and mostly myself would make jokes about this fine mess I've got myself into. HA.I know it sounds funny but we had some of the best times getting me through treatments. Sure there were moments, and they too are important for everyone,but having a little fun with all this really makes it a less bitter time for all. Laughter with Love, really is a great healer! Hang in there take care.
~Love&Peace~ Lynda

Sent by Lynda Palmer | 11:59 AM ET | 10-29-2007

What I remember about that period of time when I had all those drains, drips, etc. after my mastectomey and other surgeries was how time seemed to slow down and my focus narrowed to the multiple, icky, daily wound care tasks. It seemed like my normal life was gone forever...and how I hated it! Most people just looked at me with sad eyes, but an oncology social worker said something that helped. He looked straight at me and said," I see some kind of strength or toughness radiating from you that tells me YOU'Re GOING TO MAKE IT!" Maybe he says that to everyone. Maybe it was just bullshit -- but real or faked, his confidence helped a lot. So, Leroy - I'll just say you are WAY stronger than me!

Hang in there.

Sent by Doris | 12:02 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, sending you strength, hope and love for your recovery.

Sent by Barbara in Oregon | 12:07 PM ET | 10-29-2007

You can do it Leroy. Who would of ever thought a young kid, who is a cancer survivor would win the fourth and deciding game of the world series or another cancer survivor would win the world series MVP. Well it happened last night. They along with you Leroy have brought all of us survivors the strenghth and courage needed tro carry on.

Sent by Tom | 12:18 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Persevere. This too will pass. You obviously have many people pulling for you, including your friends, people here, loved ones, and yourself.

Sent by Scott S. | 12:21 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Yesterday is past; tomorrow has not yet arrived. The present is all there is. We're all living in the same present moment with you, Leroy. It will get better.

Sent by Alan | 12:22 PM ET | 10-29-2007

recovery from surgery is messy and distressing and I had two thoracic drains that bothered me more than anything else about surgery. The balls filled with fluid would drop *thump* OUCH. By the time they were to come out I had taped them down with tegaderm patches to keep them from rubbing the exit wounds. You'll get through this Leroy, you may not want to but the alternative is pretty final. I pray you feel sleepy, very sleepy until you're all healed up so that you just sleep away the discomfort. Alycia

Sent by Alycia Keating | 12:32 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
from Not Even My Name by Thea Halo:
"On my long travels
I saw many lives unravel on the road
as if each life was like a knitted scarf...I watched the fabric of my own life uncouple link from link,
Until all the precious pieces lay behind me on the road...
But my master knot, my God knot, held fast to let me weave again.."
Hold on, Leroy, hold on tight...

Sent by townie | 12:33 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
My good wishes and healing prayers are with you. With your positive outlook and support from the people around you. I know things will only get better one day at a time.....
Laurie,
Take good care of yourself.

In Peace,
Lynda
Seattle, WA

Sent by Lynda | 12:35 PM ET | 10-29-2007

You are thee most incredible man with what you've been through. To get out you must go through. Try to concentrate on your breath, and only your breath, exhaling and inhaling, and the hollar for more drugs.
My prayers are with you and Laurie every day, hold each other's hand and keep concentrating ---exhaling and inhaling.
With great fondness and respect,
Vikki Kramer

Sent by vikkki kramer | 12:43 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
Hang in there, buddy. This stuff is the pits, and you CAN get through it. We know this is a tough haul, but you are a guy who can handle it. The many of us are aware of your ups and downs would love to ease your way -- if only we could. We are all pulling for you, and we are with you in our thoughts and in our hearts. Be strong.

Sent by Martha in Portland, Oregon | 12:45 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Tons of hugs and strength comin' yr way across the wires. Leroy you have all of us in yr corner cheering for u. I remember after surgery to remove my big tumor, I just felt violated, mutilated. It's just what it is. I'm sorry it's so uncomfortable right now. We love you.
To Sasha and all caregivers: Oh honey i feel for you and just want you to know i am sending warmth and healing yr way to both of you. From Sherri in Texas, BC dx 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 12:54 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, we will be your strength while you need it. I know it won't take long before it doesn't seem so bad. For me there is something aout the hospital incarceration that makes things seem worse. Hang in there and lets make this a distant memory.

Sent by Jill | 12:56 PM ET | 10-29-2007

You will do it. It's okay to hate it but you WILL do it! You will be proving again what prayer and love can do! You have a heap of both going on for you!

Sent by Lucy Groh | 1:02 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Well, today's responses are fascinating-- touching, then funny. My husband was none to excited about his port. So he spent hours thinking about what he would do with if they ever came out. The day did arrive and he hung them on his inside car mirror. He said they kept him humble...
So plan your revenge and know that your cyber buddies are holding you in the light of love, concern and humor.
Deborah

Sent by Deborah of Asheville | 1:15 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy- my father used to say, when anything bad happened "it's part of life". He's been dead 18 years and this morning is the 1st time I really realized how important those words are. What you're going through is part of LIFE- not death- LIFE. You'll make it.

Sent by linda h. | 1:19 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, you ARE doing it already. You are getting through. Every minute that goes by is a grand achievement of your accomplishment and a step towards getting stronger and healing.

Do you know this technique? "Squared breathing"? Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, wait for a count of 4 before next inhalation. This was taught to me by a doctor, and I use it. Please ask your doctor, though if its okay though, because I don't want to upset any apple cart. We are all pulling for you. Blessings and regards.

Sent by Pika | 1:24 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy~ I had surgery a year ago and let me tell you. I was not in pain but just felt abnormal. I didn't sleep much and just wanted to go home. But I knew the feeling would pass eventually. It finally did I was so relieved. Hang in there, you will feel "normal" again soon.

Sent by DiAnn | 1:29 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy and Laurie,
Know that there are angels -- at a minimum -- one for everyone who reads the blog, watching over you right now. Don't give up, don't give in.

Sent by SuzieB | 1:32 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear friend:
As I read all the loving comments sent to you tears fill my eyes. What must it feel like to be the object of so much love, concern, respect and heartfelt appreciation..... and to be reminded daily of how you have helped so many just by sharing yourself and your journey with all of us. I know that if loving words and thoughts have the power to make this time easier for you, they will. I am just in awe of the impact you have had and continue to have.
My own thoughts about how you are feeling now and what you are forced to deal with........well, easy or hard, each minute must be lived and gotten through. Hopefully, very soon, the pain will lessen, movement will become easier, patience will increase. All we can do is live and experience the minutes of our lives..... whether they are joyful, quiet, filled with pain or fear, they are OURS to experience for as long as we can take a breath. Through my words and thoughts I send you all the positive energy I have; they are my gift to you, in return for the gift you have given to me and to all who know you through this blog. Namaste.

Sent by Harriet | 1:37 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,God has a purpose for your life and no one can take your place!!!!!I believe this is your purpose, He knows you are strong, you are a very special person to all of us. Like He says "this too shall pass", soon you will be up and about, how can anything differ, look what you have gone thru already. Know that my prayers and best wishes continue to be with you and Laurie! It is a gift of God to us to be able to share our Prayers and blessings with others! Here's mine!!!!!!!!!

Sent by Joyce | 1:49 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy! You totally can make it through this. Yes, it is tough, but you are tougher. This infection is worrisome and can cause havoc, especially if left untreated. But it is treatable and you are receiving the best treatment. It is not a walk in the park, but it can be beat. 8 weeks from now, this will be but a bad memory and you will be drinking hot toddy by the fireside with Ted and Laurie, laughing at the cold damp weather outside. Because you will be warm and well on the inside. Of course you can make it! This is not about me believing this; I know this in the core of my soul. I look forward to being right. (I rarely am not right, so rare that it is remarkable.)

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 1:56 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

I am so sorry you have to go through this s***. It's all because of cancer. There are so many sequelae that come with this disease that it is pretty overwhelming at times. All I really know is that this too shall pass into whatever comes next. I hope with all my heart that what comes next is kinder, gentler, happier than this step is for you.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 1:56 PM ET | 10-29-2007

We're rooting for you, Leroy. So many people care about you. Take it day by day I hope each day you feel better. I am in my son's very green computer room. He is napping - got out of the hospital Sat. after some tough one-month treatment. He, too, has a semi-permanent IV line in his chest. Laurie, thank heavens for you.

Sent by Maureeen | 1:59 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,
Cancer takes so much from us, don't let it take your hope and strenght. Think positive that you will get thru this. You are braver than you think.
Prayers and sending you best wishes,
Miriam

Sent by Miriam | 2:00 PM ET | 10-29-2007

I hear the weariness in your message, dear Leroy, but I do hope you have someone read each of the blog posts to you today. What wonderful messages of hope, support, love and care. Surely they will help you get past this dark day.

The drainage tubes, the PICC line, the meds ... those things will pass, trust me. They're necessary right now but as someone has said - a year from now you won't remember all of this. I'm reading to my husband the journal I kept last year when he was in critical condition; he doesn't remember most of it. So hang on to that thought. You just need to get through each day and then it's gone and, hopefully, the next one will be just a bit better.

Faith - Hope - Love

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 2:02 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,
Believe and know we ALL send you STRENGTH and GOOD THOUGHTS. Gather it all from your friends and you will be strong once again. Much strength to you.. xo dee

Sent by dee | 2:14 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,

I think of you often and hope you are hanging in there. I ran across some inspirational words about cancer that I would like to share with you.

What Cancer Cannot Do...

It cannot...

Invade the soul
Suppress memories
Kill friendships
Destroy peace
Conquer the spirit
Shatter hope
Cripple love
Corrode faith
Steal eternal life
Silence courage

Take good care.

Jill Brusco Fox

Sent by Jill Brusco Fox | 2:19 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Ok Leroy, don't give up. This is just a big bump in the road to recovery. One more time, Leroy, one more time. You can do this. All my prayers and thoughts are going out to you.

Sent by Kathy W. | 2:21 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Hang in there, Leroy. It will get better, though that may not be much comfort at the moment. After my surgeries I had two drains followed by a port a cath, and having foreign objects like those in your body is no fun at all. And it is such an incredible relief when they are removed.
Healing thoughts coming your way.

Sent by Maggie | 2:23 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
The first thing I do every day is check to see how you're doing. I have never met you, but you and your good fight have come to be very important to me--and to more people than you can know. I seldom comment, but I ALWAYS check in on you. Let our strength be your strength, let knowing how much we care give you additional strength to care for yourself. I echo all the wonderful, positive, thoughts in the above comments. Know that it hurts us to realize how difficult this fight is right now--if we could each take on a piece of it for you, we would! Wishing fortitude to you and your loving care-givers. Sydney

Sent by Sydney Lantz | 2:36 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Reach deep Leroy into your soul for that strength,
And, if you can't find it--
Close your eyes and picture every hand on this blog giving you the strength you need right now,
and the strength you so deserve.......

Sent by lisa | 2:38 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,

Just think that the tumor(s) in your spine are gone forever. You will heal soon, but the tumors are already DEAD!!! Consider the pain that you currently have as a price to pay for killing the Beast. Sending you all the strength that I have.

Sent by Tatiana | 2:46 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, I am with you in spirit as much as I can be. You have been through so much, and you have borne it all so well and so stoically that you have inspired all of us who read your blog to keep on with our own struggles. Maybe now it is time for you to rest and heal, and draw some strength from this whole network of people out here who want to support you. Go lightly; we are out here sending you energy, love and hope.

Sent by Katherine Moore | 2:51 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Mr. Sievers, I am so sorry for your suffering right now. If I could take a little part of it from you, I would, and I am certain many others here would do the same. If it were only that easy you'd be in pretty good shape! I hope the awareness of how loved and "virtually" supported you are DOES lift your spirits and tangibly help.

Sent by Nichole | 2:52 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Hang in there! Every day people around the country are taking time out to think of you to send you cyberstrength to guide you through these painful times.

I wish I could send you cookies or some form of tangible comfort. I bet if put in your blog that you like cookies (or something similar) the NPR offices in Washington would be overwhelmed with fedexed shoeboxes filled with homemade love! I dare you to try this out!!!

Don't let the IV depress you. Be grateful that you have the resources to fight the disease and that they caught the culprit. This week's demon is actually a living organism, the bacteria and we have the technology to fight, fight, fight!

Are you an oatmeal or chocolate chip lover? Should I preheat the oven????? I am sure that the hospital won't mind if it gives you tangible proof of everyone's desire to build your strength and thank you for all you give us!

Sent by Liz L. | 3:54 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, I have been through a considerable amount of pain. Both hips, three back surgeries, Carpal Tunnel both hands, and now Cancer. It does not seem fair, but that is the hand I have been dealt. I thought at times I didn't have the strength to go on, but I did. You will find the strength too. You have too much living left to do! Stay strong, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 3:55 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy:

You have been an inspiration to so many of us. Now I hope that you know that all of my hopes and prayers are with you now. Scrolling through the messages answering your post today, I see so many sending you love and support. I'm proud to join them.

Despite what an X-Ray may say, in my opinion you have one of the strongest "backbone" of anyone I've met.

Good thoughts and healing to you,

BEN

Sent by Ben Timmons | 4:04 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy we are all pulling for you. We have so much strength. And, we are all sending it to you. Grab on to it! You need it and we are happy to share. We've all taken your strength for so long. You are in my prayers.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:48 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, I'm just going to echo what all the previous readers of your magnificent blog have said: Hang in there, please! We can get through just about anything, and I think you can get through everything. You know the old line about how suffering makes us stronger. I reckon you're so strong right now, you can get through anything and everything. So I repeat: "Hang in there, please."

Sent by Tom K in Sydney | 5:24 PM ET | 10-29-2007

This does suck. Keep asking for what you need and like you said in 8 weeks you'll look back on this.

Sent by Lisa | 5:29 PM ET | 10-29-2007

What a resilient and honest spirit in a reisilient and durable body! One of the most important forms of wisdom, as you have so often alluded to, is knowing "when to say when" re: treatments. It is a highly customized emotional and rational calculus. I am hopeful you will always be pleased with the decisions you make, Leroy. And to the extent that energy can be shared, please tap into whatever you need from each of us. I'm pretty sure that if we had the right instruments to detect it all, there'd be dazzling readings of all the energy being beamed at you from those who count you a treasure. I wish you deep roots in finding the best ways to cope with the drains and pumps and other medical collectanea attached to your healing body right now. I wish there were a way to somehow divide up your challenges among all of us, and lighten your load. In the meantime, thank you for your updates. Let us know what we can do for you and Laurie through this part of the journey.

Sent by Sarah | 5:32 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Hello Dear Leroy,
It sounds as if you are having a very down day. I am having one myself today also! But, after reading the over 100 posts of love and encouragement meant for you, I somehow feel the love as well. This is the blessing of you, Leroy, and your blog. Believe it or not, there are many of us who have travelled the same roads as you, and can assure you that all things must pass, including your current difficulties. I, for one, have been down the 8-week antibiotic treatment road, and like so many other things, you will get used to it, and probably write an amusing essay about it as well! My thoughts are with you and Laurie today, sending you all the healing prayers I can muster!

Sent by Karen K. | 5:42 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy & Laurie,
My heart is praying harder for you. I know how you are feeling. Please know we are all here for you. When things feel bad close your eyes and feel all the love and prayers coming your way.
Laurie,
I just wanted to say I know how hard it is for you. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sasha,
You too are in my prayers. I'm the caregiver for my husband who is in a lot of pain. I'm scared for him and my family. Please know you are not alone. May God give us all the strength we need to get through this.

Sent by Aurella | 5:44 PM ET | 10-29-2007

To our Sisyphean cyber friend: never never never give up pushing that boulder.

Sent by Jen in NOLA | 5:58 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, you can do it...hang in there. You are tough and can fight. Just get thru an hour at a time, then a day at a time. Whatever it takes, you can do it. You are stong and won't let this beat you. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Sent by pam | 6:32 PM ET | 10-29-2007

I noticed something today, the times you sound like you need support are the times you receive the most e-mail. The rest of the time we lean on you for support & don't always e-mail, but you can lean on us for awhile, we will hold you up. Kathy

Sent by Kathy | 6:45 PM ET | 10-29-2007

I just wanted to add my support to the wonderful posts above! I think of you everyday and send you positive energy. I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much.

Sent by Scarlett Harris | 7:01 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy:
Although I hate the word in respect to cancer, now is the time to "fight". Your recovery is going to be tough, but you CAN do it. It is not time to give up. The things you have taken for granted are now going to be gifts, until you get them back. You can do it. It is OK to be angry and depressed. Your life sucks at this very moment, but it will get better.
Thinking of you in the rainy tropics,
Julie

Sent by Julie | 7:09 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Lerry hang tough ... you always do anyway. Thinking of you and have you in my intentions every day.

Sent by Pat Z. | 7:12 PM ET | 10-29-2007

no one can ever be prepared for those drains... Things can only go up wards from here. We are all pulling for you.

Sent by ellie wingerson | 7:24 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, If anyone can get through this, you can. Keep the spirits up and hope alive - you can do this.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 7:48 PM ET | 10-29-2007

theres something to be said about one day at a time, thats what i had to do during my treatment. baby steps, you can do this leroy. We're all with you. Sending you strength and healing!

Sent by Jenn | 8:55 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy, If I could send you any additional strength or pain relief via this email, I truly would. I had my first cancer experience earlier this year (hopefully the last) so can somewhat relate. Your fortitude is so admirable and impressive. Keep up the fight - you are awesome!!!

Sent by Anne | 9:03 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Although we have never met I feel like we are family. If I could I would take away some of the pain and give you my strength. Since that isn't possible, I will just send you all the prayers I can.

Sent by Toni from Albuquerque | 9:03 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy -

You are in many prayers, and in that I hope you find strength. Your recovery will come in time - be patient but persistent.

Andy

Sent by Andrew Kearns | 9:05 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy-
Hang in there, buddy. We can get through anything together. I know this is true. It has to be, for all of us.
With healing thoughts,
Kathy
Carlisle, PA

Sent by Kathy | 9:31 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
I'm sending you extra strength and prayers over the email. Hang in there!
Katie

Sent by Katie B | 9:33 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy,
I hope that you are taking the pain meds and the tranquilizers that they give you. Pain and anxiety will not help you heal and there is no way that you can muster the energy to deal with either sensation now. So for now, take what you can to help...allow yourself to let others hold the worry and embrace you with good energy. Blessings to you.

Sent by Donna | 9:59 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy

You aren't alone - not for a minute; not by a long shot. There are too many people thinking of you!

Even though the pain may be relentless, love is too, and in a showdown with pain, love wins everytime.

My best-Deb Rumsey

Sent by Deb Rumsey | 10:10 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Dear Leroy,

Please hang in there. Some times it's one day at a time, and sometimes it's just getting through the next five minutes. If severe nausea isn't a problem, then headphones and music help a lot.

Drains may be uncomfortable, but without drains, the fluids build up and they get sucked out with large syringes. Drains are easier. ( I tucked mine into my cargo pants pocket, and no one but me and my surgeon knew they were there.) The antibiotics being pumped in just make it easier to have a therapeutic dose, without having to get re-stuck all the time. To me, having a port and having drains were easier than the alternatives. I asked, and got to choose - or at least to agree to the game plan.

Here's hoping that things improve quickly for you.
Hugs.

Sent by Lilly T. | 11:03 PM ET | 10-29-2007

Leroy ..Inch by inch its a cinch! One hour at time .One day if you have to for now. Hang tough.Remember we are doing many things right along with you...so grab tight and we will do it together..

Thoughts and Prayers along with positive vibes in your direction.

Sent by Kerry | 12:13 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Sending you strength . . . and prayers.
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 12:21 AM ET | 10-30-2007

It's 12:42 am. healing prayers are going to surround you tonight.Rest well Leroy..

Sent by Alle | 12:44 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Artificial vertebra? I guess I'd not understood that was the kind of surgery you were having. I must tell you that just reading that in your blog is encouraging to me (in case I need one at a later time). The weeks of recovery you're facing leaves me speechless. As many have written to you, I feel we're all giving you hugs and praying for you. I consider each day a miracle day during a recovery. Even though each 24 hours is hard to get through, the next 24 get better. It's like watching a heart patient who's received a quadruple bypass, each day seems like they've graduated to a higher level of recovery leading towards those days of independence once again. Your back surgery will take longer, I know, but God above has brought you this far. I look forward to your Christmas day blog.
We all need something to look forward to and I know your blog that day shall make us all smile, hearing of your getting better. Don't you give up on you dear, we're not. Many hugs.

Sent by LindaW | 3:38 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Well, we can get through just about anything and you will. At the beginning, like now, and in retrospect, in 6 months, you will wonder how you did. But it's always one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. I've seen this with my husband, see it right now. Three years in. Three years since Whipple procedure, different roudns of differing chemo. A few follow up surgeries. Awful, but it is day by day.

I am NOT religious or particularly philosophical, but I know that it's best to live in the moment. Within your limitation, what things can you do over these next 7 weeks. What movies can you watch, comic books you always meant to re-read, board games. When my husband is laid up from time to time, and not sleeping, we make lists of things he enjoys that can be done pretty stationery. Re-connecting with some old friend, taking pictures and documenting the latest, recipes for things he might research, drawing, models. Provided you are awake, there's almost always stuff you can do, that you wouldn't concentrate on were you more physically able. Do those things, then.

Please know that I'm extremely sympathetic to where you are. My husband's had drains and all the rest of it, much of which he came to manage. Just don't think big thoughts about it all. Keep busy, keep a list and keeping going.

Sent by Teri | 6:36 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Leroy,

My hope is that some smiles will finagle their way into your hospital room today. I hope they sneak in under the lunch tray of pale chicken and congealed Jello, then float by your door as a bubbly toddler skipping down the hall. After that, a large dose of Frasier and Niles Crane should pop on the tube (the episode where they consider dredging the koi pond to locate a missing Merris would do). Then I pray that when nighttime blankets the horizon your day snuggles with you under your crisp covers and help shield you from the physical pain, if only just a little (the smiles, the peace, the laughter -- Not Frasier and Niles...and for heavens sake, not Merris! ;-). God bless.

Sent by Karen Laven | 7:15 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Leroy,
My experience with spinal surgery and a port is that first you think you are going to die, then you wish you would and then you start to feel better. Hope this brings you a smile. A sense of humor is frequently my greatest comfort. elissa

Sent by elissa rosenfeld | 7:31 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Hang in there Leroy, you have an army fighting for you! God's Peace be with you!

Sent by Laurie | 7:57 AM ET | 10-30-2007

Leroy,

May I add my wishes to the enormous outpouring of hope, affection and admiration which is coming your way? Warm thoughts from far away Holland!

Sent by Maris | 2:37 PM ET | 10-30-2007

Leroy; I am smiling to hear that you are home and doing wheelies with your walker? You did say that didn't you?
Take care and keep up the good work...saying prayers that your healing comes quickly and your humor never wains.
Hugs

Sent by Denise | 6:29 PM ET | 10-30-2007



   
   
   
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