'Morning Leroy,

There is change in your "tone" today. I hear a down slide because of the presence of the pump ongoing treatment of the infection and not treating or following the "beast."

It is hard to remain up all the time, and with everything you have been experiencing recently you certainly do have a reason to be down.

Orange sweat and tears eh? Hmmm just in time for Thanksgiving, how timely?

Rest and take care, have a better day if possible.

Sent by Susan Chap | 7:45 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Orange tears? It sounds like you are ready for Thanksgiving and/or a trip to watch the Fighting Illini at the University of Illinois. Here they paint everything orange. You would fit right in. Congratulations for finding your wallet and for your ability to chuckle in the face of life's absurdities. (PS The non-rated orange fighting Illini beat #1 Ohio State last weekend. It is a sign that Orange is in. Go Leroy!
Fight! Win!)

Sent by Townie7890 | 7:46 AM ET | 11-15-2007

The one thing I've learned, Leroy, is that you can live your life terrified of cancer.....of getting it....of living with it....of dying from it. But then "life" will sometimes intrude in an alarming fashion by way of something like a sudden heart attack, a blood clot, stroke or severe infection....or even an automobile accident...and it's like a sudden shock to your system to realize that what you've been so terrified of for so long is not so bad, considering what just happened. Then you begin to understand that as hard as things can be at any given time, they can always be worse.....that you never know when you wake up in the morning if you will live to see the evening.....and you've got to be thankful for each day as it comes....for the little things as well as the big ones....and enjoy them, without worrying about the future...or regretting the past. It's quite an awakening!

It doesn't take away the anxiety that you experience when you pass through this phase and return to the situation with cancer again, but you become more accepting that you can handle whatever comes along and will give it your all, and hopefully, you'll be able to handle the end of this life as well.

Hope you had a good night's sleep Leroy and I am continuing praying for you, Laurie and your doctors. Hopefully the day will come when all you have to do is slowly heal!!

Sent by betty obst | 7:55 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Dear Larry,
I am so sorry that you have deal with all this s..t!, I meant stuff.
You are an inspiration to me and thousands of us, I imagine as I have sent links to your blog to so many folks.
The orange sweat and tears - you may need to you-tube that.
We all love you,
Mary

Sent by Mary | 8:01 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this, but I have an unusual question: how's your intestinal flora? Not to give you yet another thing to think about, but those antibiotics kill good, necessary bacteria along with the bad stuff. You may want to think about taking something with acidophilus in it to keep the population of good bacteria up. Wishing you a wonderful day--on purpose!

Sent by Leonard from Alabama | 8:06 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy, Good to hear ID's on the case! They're often the smartest docs around (my opinion). As you said, getting rid of the staph is your priority right now.

Get lots of rest and try to get some sunshine and fresh air every day. That's the Florence Nightingale cure!

Sent by Marilyn | 8:09 AM ET | 11-15-2007

I know what you're saying about not thinking about the cancer as much. I was diagnosed with lung cancer (stage IV) in 2004. Today I'm waiting for the results of my latest ctscan. They took me off chemo a little over 4 months ago(my body couldn't take anymore). I'm anxious not so much whether or not the cancer taking over again but about if I'll have to start chemo again.

I hope all goes well today at the Doctors. In the mean time keep listening for your rhythm,I'm listening for mine. Becca

Sent by Rebecca Hawkins | 8:27 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Yikes. Orange tears. Sounds like something out of Star Trek. I hope those antibiotics aren't too hard on you otherwise

Sent by N.R. | 8:30 AM ET | 11-15-2007

What a good, informative message from you today Leroy. Boy, how your life and focus has had to keep changing! from what I have read, that Staph infection is definately hard to beat.
I have a theory about cancer. Yes, I agree with you that it is always there waiting and planning to attack. However from my own experience and from following my dear friends and relatives with their own particular battles with the monster, it does seem that sometimes leaving it alone produces slower agressive advances and more retreats & remissions.
As a child, I remember hearing what my Mom called an "old wives tale" that once you opened and messed with cancer, it spread like wildfire. Well, I don't put much stock in ole wives tales, but maybe your focus on the infection right now will show the "C" that it cannot worry you and it will stop badgering you. You are so full of antibiotics that you are probably not such a "tasty morsel" anymore!
That is interesting about the orange sweat and tears. We must all try to keep you laughing and not "racing" up and downstairs.
You must be sleeping better now 'cause your messages show your clarity of thought again. Keep it up - love hearing from you and your progress.

Sent by J C R | 8:50 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Damn that cancer. Damn it.

Orange sweat and tears...NICE! Kind of like the chemo drug that makes your pee bright orangy red. Some call it Party Pee.

What will they think of next?!

Big hugs my orange fluid filled friend.

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 8:54 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Dear Leroy,

I read that a strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. I admire your positive attitude and your patience. I have become a little less pessimistic since reading your blog, but I must admit behind that positive attitude there is always a sense of fear, fear of the unknown. I wish there was a way to get rid of the fear factor. I'm doing the best I can as caretaker for my spouse, but it's taking a toll on me. With every new chemo drug comes a new adventure. I remember the Ted Koppel documentary on the Discovery Channel about "Living with Cancer"..........I'm sorry that I didn't tape the show; I remember feeling better after viewing it and listening to the question and answer segment. Is there any way that the Discovery Channel would be able to air that show again ?

Be well my friend and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Prayers to you and Laurie.

Sent by sasha | 9:27 AM ET | 11-15-2007

I've been absent Leroy as I have moved and was without a computer for two weeks. I am sorry to see you are still coping with that nasty infection. Glad you had some drains pulled and EXTRA glad it didn't hurt. I am enjoying the beautiful mountains of New Hampshire but the pain of homesickness is crushing. It helps to reach out to you in your discomfort. Day by day, get better

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:33 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy, You do inspire me! You have touched so many lives. Although you may not know all of us that read your blog, please know that we are with you every step of the way. Rest and take care of yourself.

Sent by Amy Jenkins | 9:50 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,
Just wanted to make sure you knew how many of us are out their rooting for you and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers! You are doing an amazing job dealing with everything. Wishing you only the best,
Ginny

Sent by Ginny | 10:06 AM ET | 11-15-2007

What a seasonal color to be enjoying Leroy. Orange will fit in with the autumnal glory outside your window. I hope you can find some humor in the procedings as you go along. I am thankful for the medicine the pump is giving your body on time to support your healing. I am celebrating you and giving many bushels of thanks for your well-being, and for your healing, and for your voice and heart and vivid spirit.

Sent by Sarah | 10:06 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy, I am speechless after I read your Blog. I am sorry you are fighting yet another battle. I do and will continue to pray for you and your family daily. I pray also that you may have a great Thanksgiving Holiday. THank you for your insperation.

Sent by ken | 10:30 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Oddly colored bodily fluids are nothing new for those of us who have had certain types of chemo. Just add it to the list and move on.
Keep fighting.

Sent by Brit | 10:33 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Morning Leroy,
Sounds like you have been eating to much pumpkin pie..(orange sweat) Hang in there my friend and try to enjoy the next few days as we go to Thanksgiving. Leroy we are very "thankful" for you and the laughter and tears you have shown us throughout the year...God Bless

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:34 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,

Well, you do know orange is the "new black".

You'll be stylin'. :o)

Be grateful they aren't green. Then you'll worry everytime you get mad your shirts will spontaneouesly rip.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 10:41 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,

Forgive me if I write twice. I don't think my first post posted. Someone wrote that you seemed down. I wonder if instead you have moved more into an accepting mode. That would be a good thing because all the energy you use being angry and frustrated could go toward healing your body. I hope this is what's going on.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:41 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy~ I knew the removing of the drains wouldn't hurt. See, you did all that worrying for nothing. I hope you are sleeping better. As a mom of four, I have gone w/o sleep alot. It makes me grumpy, but thats ok. This too shall pass.

Sent by DiAnn | 10:46 AM ET | 11-15-2007

I was assigned an "infectious disease specialist" when I had my infection. I wondered what people would think if they came across that business card. It doesn't really bring to mind "staph" LOL.

The good thing about infections, or so I'm told, is that it kick starts your immune system. That is very bad news for cancer.

I'm always reminded of the story of the Chinese farmer and "bad luck". Everytime something apparently bad happened, folks would say "what bad luck" and he would reply "why do you think it is bad?". After a series of events, his only son had to come home from college and help his Dad on the farm. His son was hurt with a broken leg. (such bad luck). Then war broke out but his son was not allowed to serve, due to his broken leg.

The infection might be the best bad luck you've had ;-)

Sent by Karen D. | 10:49 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,
When I read your comments today the thing that came to mind is the saying "if it weren't for bad luck I would have no luck at all". I know that isn't true but it sure seems that way some days.
I am glad there are special doctors to treat your infection. I hope the new antibiotic does the job and you can get rid of the pump.
When are they going to figure out how to keep patients from getting these damn infections? Yes, I am angry about this!!! Going to the hospital can be very dangerous to your health as you know! I just wish the people who run hospitals would get angry and do something!
In spite of all these things, I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving!
Sorry for the rant!
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:52 AM ET | 11-15-2007

leory,

im so sorry about the infection. that stinks. ive been out for a couple of days and missed reading your blog. your blog is part of my morning routine now. Godspeed!!

Sent by Sarah | 10:53 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Your orange sweat and tears remind me of the chemo drug I was given that produced red urine. Either the nurses forgot to warn me or I just didn't take it in...what a scare that was!

You sound calm and ready to take one step at a time. What else can you do? Enjoy the beauty of this season. I think it was Rumi who said, "This moment is all we have."

Sent by Doris | 10:59 AM ET | 11-15-2007

If I were you I would demand the drug that changes my sweat blue after this. At the very least you could pull off a nice Jack Frost for Christmas.

We are still praying for you, and pulling for you.

Sent by Heather | 11:26 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Hi Leroy and all,

It sounds like you have more good docs on your team. Orange tears and orange sweat...hmmm. That's interesting. I hope those are the only side-effects you will have to deal with and that the drug works well and fast.

I've been having increased pain. My fear is that the radiation I had last summer in my right hip didn't stop the lung cancer mets there. Yesterday it was so bad I canceled my PT appointment and started using a cane again. I'll see my onc doctor today to see if he has any good ideas.

It has really got me down right now. I have been doing so well lately and really enjoying each day as a gift. But when the pain gets bad I start to slip back emotionally and begin to lose my sense of humor and my hope.

I cherish my independance. I love my life, my humor, my optimism and my ability to fight and stay strong. but today I don't feel strong...the tears, saddness and fear keep taking over. But I must admit, they are clear tears, not orange.

Thanks for "listening" to my frustrations.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 11:27 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy, The monster will still be there for sure, but other more pressing issues are taking your mind away from it. The break is good. It will allow your to rearm and reload, ready for the next showdown. These things are all important matters to be sure, but enjoy your holiday, your family, and your friends, for they are the strength that keeps us all going. Regards, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:46 AM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,
It sounds like you are in very capable hands--for that I'm thankful. Hang in there, my friend!

Sent by Rita (NC) | 12:23 PM ET | 11-15-2007

I think they ADD something to many of these treatments to MAKE them produce such interesting effects! LOL

I once had a lymphangiogram which produced BRIGHT BLUE urine... now THAT was one hell of a shock! LMAO

So all you have to do is NOT sweat or cry Leroy and no one will never know about the side effect! :-)

You remain in my thoughts and prayers Leroy!!

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 1:06 PM ET | 11-15-2007

p.s.

More than a "rhythm".. cancer has an "ebb and flow".. (which I suppose is a rhythm as well)

Sometimes being ALL you can think about or deal with.. and other times pushed down to secondary level

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 1:09 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Dear Leroy,

So sorry to hear about the continuing staph infection, but I must echo what some others have said (I just got the most crazy visual image).... maybe the staph and the cancer will fight each other, and they'll leave your precious tissue alone! Then they'll call it a draw, and both leave - for good! I'm only half joking - you never know what is down the path. Maybe you did get this staph infection for a reason not yet understood that will be of some benefit in your fight. My loved one is having CAT/PET scans today, and I must admit, I am nervous, but each time, I get a little more patient and a little more accepting. Nevertheless, if anyone has a spare prayer out there for my Mom, and her test results, I would appreciate you sending one up. Thanks.

Sent by Connie E. | 1:38 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy - orange sweat and tears - it must be the drug Rifampin. I was on it for MRSA several years ago. Hate to tell you, but it might make you pee colors, too!! But boy, did it knock the h@#% outa the MRSA!!!
Sending prayers and hugs your way

Sent by Patti B. | 1:43 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy - Just read your post re Laurie bringing you to the doctors to have tubes removed etc. with your walker. Do you not have a Disabled Placard?? I have found it very helpful for me AND my partner for the many visits to Oncology, errands, movie theaters etc. Even using a walker I find it helpful to park near by when possible. Of course I had to deal with my pride when deciding to get a placard, use a cane, use a walker. I feel like I am ageing on "fast forward" but I do manage to get out and about.

Sent by Kay B. Smith | 3:31 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy, having previously had a bad staph infection and having to wear a pump for almost 3 months I can fully understand what you are going through. The infectious disease Dr's. were wonderful to work with though and sounds like you have a lot of good Dr's helping you also. As for not having the cancer on your mind formost, that is probably good too. Number one right now should just be resting and getting rid of this infection.

It is good to hear you getting stronger. You are so apprectiated and a great insperation to all. Keep strong.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 4:01 PM ET | 11-15-2007

A few small steps forward is a beginning. It may seem like nothing is being gained. Sometimes a stalemate is ok if only to catch your breath, renew your energy and then again re-engage the staph, the tubes and the cancer. Your resolve and spirit are being tested as never before. Take heart,Leroy: take the energy, spirit, resolve, good thoughts and prayers of all of your bloggers. We will do our best to see you through. Think for a moment, each night as you are in your bed preparing for sleep (hopefully), of the many prayers offered in your name and Laurie's. Prayer is an awesome thing and will soothe your soul.

Sent by Al Cato | 4:31 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Isn't it strange, our thought processes now? Fear, creeps into our lives and sits there like an elephant in the room that we try to ignore. We tell ourselves that we are not afraid, but is that because we feel we need to be brave in order to comfort those who love us? Are we really just quaking in our boots? Sometimes, yes.The fear doesn't stop there ...at the cancer. No, it continues, even after. I have been wanting a new Boxer (dog) but I am afraid I won't live long enough to see him thru. I am also afraid that he may die too. I want to change jobs, but am afraid of losing insurance. I am stuck..in apprehensive-ville...I don't like this place. I thought I knew how to deal with it all, hmmm maybe this is just a new rhythm. I guess i will dance to this new one for a while, until the beat changes.
Peace
Liz Z

Sent by liz zimmerman | 8:30 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy: It would be nice to think the cancer and the staph would fight each other, but more than likely they are tag teaming you, so keep on those med's until the staph is gone.

My question is "what color of orange?" Is it going to be Hugger Orange? MOPAR orange? highway cone orange? or if you're really in style, Ralph Lauren? Perhaps someone will take a sample to Home Depot and use their color match system to see....now I'm really being silly. Sleep good tonight.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 8:54 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Today you said you got 2 more doctors. I was just telling my buddy that I was just given a Neurologist and a Dermatologist, in addition to my Oncologist, Radiologist, infusion nurses, radiologist technitions, nurse practitioners, Orthotic technition. It seems, that at any given time you can look behind me and you can see my posse - just like the verizon commercial. Doug (small cell lung)

Sent by DOUG MORGAN | 9:33 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Just as I thought I was on an uphill path, weekend at the ranch, Monday at Physical Therapy, treadmill, exercycle, arm build-up, etc then afternoon at the office, Tuesday Breakfast, home for rest, THEN 2am race to the ER with RESPIRATORY DISTRESS... Pneumonia on top of my Lung Cancer has Shut Me Down.
No Chemo for two days as we concentrate on the Pneumonia...
One day I'm walking around... the next day I am in ICU hooked to 2 IV's and breathing assist pumps...
What a turn around for the worse.
Leroy I know first hand how priorities change. I went from wheelchair to walker to free walking to ICU where I cannot Stand-up at all... I have myself on a schedule for the next 4 days with goals of sit up on Friday, bsathroom Saturday, Hall walking on Sunday.... Home on Monday.... My Doc called my Onocology Nurse from Japan to check on me during the worse day wednesday... they treat me great but I have to buckle up and do the work to get OUT of this BED...
Leroy, you are an inspiration and I really appreciate your thoughts and ideas from the blog...
John Z

Sent by John Zizelmann | 10:54 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Leroy,
We are all rooting for you. One day at a time, even if it is "orange" time!

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 11:42 PM ET | 11-15-2007

Which would you rather have - cancer spread or an infection? Have been in hospital since yesterday and am writing this on Fri. but more to come on Fri. I just thought in view of my personal circumstances that this would be a good question.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 5:08 PM ET | 11-16-2007

Thank you Leroy, for writing about rhythm today. I want to learn all that I can , since I am new to cancer world. Your words are encouraging and seem like artist paints on canvas. Don't let go of you. mattie,

Sent by Mattie Joyce Hervey | 11:42 PM ET | 11-18-2007

Cancer is in everyone's body. Leave it alone, for it is there to kill us in time. Operating on it and radiation only speeds it up. My grandother, who lived to be 106, told me the latter.

Sent by Judi | 12:43 PM ET | 11-24-2007

I've been away and just read your entry about falling asleep when a friend came to visit. I smiled and laughed inside because 15 years ago when my dad was battling a very aggressive cancer and nodded off while a friend was there, she said "Oh Harold you're tired and need to rest" to which he awakened and responded, "Well, Mary maybe if your conversation was more interesting I wouldn't fall asleep."

Sent by joan mamelok | 1:07 AM ET | 11-29-2007