Very nearly spluttered coffee over my desk at this one Leroy - the expression is obviously transatlantic, I've heard it this side of the pond too. Good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you.

Sent by Lisa Burt | 7:33 AM ET | 11-12-2007

And then there's the old "you'll feel a pinch", or "there'll be some discomfort". I know, because I've used them with patients myself. We need to warn someone that something is coming, but not set up an expectation of agony, if you know what I mean.
In the "you never know" dept. I got my liver biopsy results late on Friday, and you could have made a birdhouse in my mouth, it was opened so far. I had neuroendocrine cancer in the liver. It wasn't primary liver cancer, nor was it metastatic breast cancer, which was what I expected. This, apparently, is a very rare form of cancer that I'm told usually originates somewhere in the gut. When I called my oncologist and told him the news, he said that I should feel "pretty chipper" about it. And tell me why I should feel that way I replied. He said that this meant that I'm still in remission w/ the breast cancer, that I had the radio frequency ablation, so it's out, and as I'd told him, it's low grade- not aggressive. So...I get to see an onc at Penn who specializes in this kind of cancer, get another different scan, and see from there. And so it goes.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 7:35 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Good Morning Dear Leroy~ When they removed the drain from my chest many years ago after my left breast was removed, Wow! I could feel it slowly being pulled out. Not pain, but a slithery, creepy, feeling as though it were coming from deep within my body. But, what a wonderful relief! For several weeks after that, they had to periodically go in with a needle, which never hurt because the nerves were severed and I felt no pain in that area. That was to remove fluid which built up but gradually diminished, as days went by.
Sure hope that you feel the same type of relief. After what you have been through, it may be a "piece of cake".
OH, you have progress to look forward to, how wonderful!

Sent by J C R | 7:42 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,"feeling a little pressure"is a phrase that's been around a long time. I'm surprised you haven't run into it before! The baby docs learn it by hearing a more senior doc say it to a patient and then they mimic it. It's part of the medical lingo.

You will feel so much better when you get rid of the drains. My Mom had a mastectomy 6 wks.ago and she couldn't wait to be free of the 2 drains that had been in place for 3 wks. after the surgery.

She said that the main thing she felt was relief. Hopefully, you will,too.

Sent by Marilyn | 7:51 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Glad the drains are coming out tomorrow. Hopefully, you'll be able to rest much more comfortably with them gone. Don't you just love the euphemisms the docs use... you'll feel a little pressure or this will sting a little, etc. Reminded me of my nurse when I had my kidney removed for RCC and I had a catheter. I asked to have it removed since I was able to get around. She was very blunt.. "Grab a'hold of the bedrails 'cause this is going to hurt." I did and it did!

Best wishes for tomorrow. Anticipate the worst and hope for the best when the drains come out.

Blessings and prayers as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 7:59 AM ET | 11-12-2007

oh yeah, I know that expression all too well and I agree it's code for "this will hurt". Probably like many folks here, I have a drain story of my own but I'll spare you. The main thing is from every story I've heard if they remove them right, it will hurt but only very briefly. Then you're FREE of them and lots of folks here will be cheering with you....

Sent by N.R. | 8:04 AM ET | 11-12-2007

YAHOO! You made it to this milestone! That is awesome. Praying that a little pressure means a little pressure this time. God knows you have had your share of pain.

Sent by Melissa T | 8:05 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Hi Leroy,
I felt the same way about IV's. I just wanted them out. I am so glad you will be rid of them tomorrow and I know tomorrow can't come fast enough for you.
Another huge gain and you are on the road to feeling better. Halleluyah!

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:07 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Crossing fingers for it to be as painless as possible.

Hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori | 8:13 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Good Morning Leroy,

You do sound more upbeat today and I suppose it is related to the prospect of the drains being removed. I am pleased that milestone is approaching.

It seems the docs interpretation of pressure and pain is extremely different. If they are using local anesthetics, typically they are not as effective in the presence of infection.

I could offer a bullet to bite on, however, I don't have one, sorry.

Keep up those forward steps.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:15 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy, for what it's worth, when they removed my drains after both my surgeries, it actually didn't hurt. Admittedly, mine were in a different place, and maybe spinal drains are more painful to remove. Still, it's very quick, so I'm betting that it will be easier than you think.

As for looking kind of gross - I felt like I looked like a science experiment! I understand how excited you are; I definitely felt like my recovery took a big leap forward with the loss of the drains. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow - maybe you have earned a cheesesteak?

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 8:18 AM ET | 11-12-2007

i couldnt wait to get my drain out after my lumpectomy/node removal. It didnt hurt as much as i thought it would. so, who knows you may be lucky. its one more step in your healing.

Sent by Jenn | 8:30 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Drain removal can indeed be unpleasant. Had I to do it again, I would be prepared and time my pain meds so that I could be comfortable if possible. Ask what can be done to make it a more comfortable procedure. There's no virtue in unnecessary pain.

Sent by C. Eckert | 8:38 AM ET | 11-12-2007

If it is any comfort to you, when I have had drains removed, I barely felt anything. I pray the same for you.

Ruth

Sent by Ruth from Virginia | 8:42 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy -

I recall being told to "exhale" while the drain was being removed from my back. I ran our of air, so take a deep - very deep - breath so you have a lot of air to exhale!

Keep looking forward.

Andy

Sent by Andrew Kearns | 8:58 AM ET | 11-12-2007

YEAH, your drains are coming out. "A little pressure will be worth it" and I'm talking from experience. Going to call pulmonologist today and hoping that I don't need drain in my chest because of cough I'm having so say a few prayers for me. THANKS.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 9:08 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Hi Leroy..I am a nurse and am guilty of saying things like "here's a little stick" or something similar. We have to warn people without suggesting it will hurt like hell. When I had my drains pulled after my mastectomies, I wish someone had told me to take pain meds before I went in. Say yes to drugs! :)

Sent by Kathy | 9:18 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Felling a little pressure is something we cancer folks feel every day. We feel pressure when the bills come rolling in, and when we wonder if the breath we take in will be our last, when we see a beautiful sunset and wonder if we will see more. Oh yeah, and there is the pressure when they yank the drains, hmmmm, that pressure only last a moment though.
We love ya Leroy !
You rock!!!!!!!
Liz

Sent by liz zimmerman | 9:24 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Exhale and Inhale ???
Breathe in ??? Breathe out slowly
when pressure occurs
and you pain will be lessened.
Exhale and Inhale ??? Exhale ...

Sent by Viennese | 9:25 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Hang in there and keep moving forward! I've heard the "little pressure" phrase so many times, as well!
I've had drains removed and all I felt was this creepy, alien like sensation of something moving through your body that shouldn't be there. Hopefully that's all you'll feel.

Take care, Leroy and remember, you are the boulder.

Kathy Bero

Sent by Kathy Bero | 9:33 AM ET | 11-12-2007

You might like comedian Brian Regan's bit about this exact phrase!

Sent by Kathy in Austria | 9:35 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Lidocaine! Ask for it beFORE the removal actually begins, even before the stitches (if you have any) are removed. You've probably had it before (maybe at the dentist), and it is perfect for situations like this. Saved me from almost slugging a less-than-competent surgeon removing my long-installed drains after my mastectomy...I still recall how uncomfortable I was driving to the office, and how "normal" and good I felt driving home.

Normal *and* good...they're within your reach, bud!

Peace
jj

Sent by Joan Jones | 9:37 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Good luck tomorrow! Will be thinking of you and sure hope there will be no pain.

Sent by Jen | 9:42 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Wasn't it easier as a kid, many years ago, when they just said: "This won't hurt" ?

Then you knew where you stood.

Sent by Emile | 9:44 AM ET | 11-12-2007

I recall no discomfort or "pressure")when my drain was removed from my breast back in 2001..yet I recall vividly the splendor of living untethered again! Take care, LeRoy.

Sent by Lori | 9:46 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Wearing drains and enduring their the subsequent removal, while sounding as they are no big deal, are among the multitude of irritating indignities that cancer patients know all too well. However, on the upside, their removal is a sure sign of progress! You ARE making progress.

Sent by Joan F | 9:48 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Does anyone know of a listing of the "awareness months" for each of the different types of cancers, or at least the more well know ones. The AMS has a few but to me the most important one is missing, pancreatic, so I'm sure others are too. Thank you for your help. Leroy, I read your blog every day and my heart goes out to you and yours as you go through the so called "journey".

Sent by Carol | 10:01 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy...you CAN do this. After all the other "_____" (insert your favorite expletive)you have had done, tubal removal (which sounds like a procedure done on one's car) will be quick and simple.

Whenever I a procedure or treatment that seems sure to be unpleasant, my pat phrase is: Gotta be easier than a root canal.

Sure will be glad when it's done and the tubes are in the trash.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy Miles | 10:07 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy, you are makeing progress. And yes, I am sure you are going to feel so much better without them. But why not do a little timing with pain meds just incase. "a little help from our friends"
We will all be anxiously waiting to see how you faired out. After all you have been through it will probably be a piece of cake.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 10:24 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy:
There is such a difference between one drain and several drains. With one drain you don't know what to expect and then it's over. With more than one drain, you know exactly what to expect. Bummer!
Love, Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 10:33 AM ET | 11-12-2007

If you haven't heard this many times before, thank you for your regular updates on your condition and progress. I, too, have cancer and send this blog on to my daughter who is in prison so she is able to understand some of the things I am going through. It is a blessing for both of us.
We will both be sending positive thoughts your way today (everyday) and just believe this is yet another step toward beating the ugly beast within us.
Peace to you and yours.

Sent by Ann | 10:35 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Like they tell us women when having a baby! A little pressure my a**. But compared to having a baby, you will be fine! It will last 2 seconds!

Sent by DiAnn | 10:56 AM ET | 11-12-2007

One of my drains really hurt when the pulled it out, but the other two just felt icky. You're going to feel so much better when they're gone.

Sent by Gyla | 11:04 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Love these 'phrases'. Like the new buzzword in the stock market - 'challenging'. It's challenging, all right, it's beyond painful lately.

Good luck tomorrow - AND - thereafter.

Sent by Joan P | 11:05 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy! Congratulations and good luck!!!! The removal may hurt but it's such progress. I am proud of you. With much love and admiration, liz

Sent by liz h | 11:08 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,

Better living through chemistry. Please insist on something for pain before you have the drains removed. I wish you well tomorrow and know once the procedure is done, you will feel better.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:11 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,

It sounds like many of us have had drains removed before, but I'll add my two cents. I had a drain in my left kidney, that was fed between 2 ribs and out the left side of my mid-back. It was there maybe 3-4 months. Taking it out was an experience like the person who said it felt like an alien thing being removed. It hurt a little, but not as much as I had expected. It just felt odd and made me feel nauseous for a second, but then it was done and I was free! I can't say that it was pleasant, but the mental victory was a big part of the experience, and that is the part I am wishing for you.

Good luck, and an almost-congratulations-to-you!

Leslie

Sent by Leslie Tsui | 11:13 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Ah, yes...the drainage tubes. When I had my mastectomy, I carried these bulbous things around that were on long tubes for some reason. They would hang, swinging, and wind up in my crotch. I looked like an old man with prostate trouble. I don't remember it hurting when they were removed -- I just remember how glad I was to get rid of them. And as for "doctorese," I now love the one where instead of saying you have something wrong because you are old, they say, "It's age-related."

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 11:16 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,

I am at a loss as to why that stupid expression "you're going to feel some pressure" comes out of an otherwise highly educated mouth. I hear it dauily from doctors, nurses and even a few rad techs. I cringe when I hear it because I they believe it to be a harmless lie. They really should know better.

When I need to do a procedure on someone that I know is going to hurt, I tell them I am sorry, but I need to do this and to please just hold onto my hand as tightly as they need to. I think the line I've used in the past is "try to hurt me back, it's ok."

You'll feel so much better after that is over :o)

Sent by Teri Thomas | 11:23 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Ah, those euphemisms are great, aren't they? My surgeon is a very caring man generally, but when he jerked out the drain after my mastectomy, he chose that moment, as I was wincing in pain (not just a little pressure!) with my eyes squinched shut, to tell me the cancer had been found in several lymph nodes. I guess his theory was, why not hit patients with all the physical and psychological pain at once, get it all over with in one blow? Plus, that way he didn't have to look in my eyes as he delivered bad news.

Anyway, I hope your doctor is fast and has only good news to deliver. One more day, and you'll be feeling free as a bird, Leroy!

Sent by Doris | 11:34 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy, Yes, the trials of surgery, so many things are so pleasant. The good thing is they end with time, and you move on to the next step. Happy Non-Drain Day!!! Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:36 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Life should really improve for you after tomorrow. What a relief that will be. Hopefully, by Thanksgiving you will be feeling good and ready to eat, be grateful, and eat some more.

Nancy Clark: I'm thinking of you and hope that this liver cancer is treatable.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 11:39 AM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy, I've had numerous drains removed, from my chest, not back, though. They haven't hurt, but it is an "interesting" feeling. On one occasion, my plastic surgeon was debating whether to take them out that day, and I told him that, yes indeed, he was removing them that day. He does a lot of breast reconstruction, and replied, "Jeez, all I've got is women telling me what to do." He took them out. It's a wonderful moment to get rid of them, enjoy it even if it hurts.

Sent by Marcia | 12:02 PM ET | 11-12-2007

One word - Valium. There might be some "pressure" or it might even hurt, but you won't care! :)
(It's helped me each time I've had to get drains removed - and I'm not normally much of a pill-popper)
Good luck tomorrow.

Sent by Johanna | 12:23 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy, This is a good day, then. I'm hoping that you'll be able to come home and get a better night's sleep.

To echo the women before, "you're going to feel a little pressure/pinch," must be taught in the very first class of OB/GYN 101. Years later, when I had a urologist tell me the same thing for an in-office procedure, the sensation was indeed minor, as he had said. What a shocker that was to me!

Nancy Clark, I was just wondering about you the other day. I hope that your next appointment at Penn puts you on the fast track to cleaning out the latest intruder.

Sent by Sheara | 12:28 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Reminds me of childbirth in the 70's. "Childbirth is not about pain. You will feel some pressure." Sure.

I was fortunate with my drains. The slipped right out and I really didn't feel much except that slithery feeling everyone has mentioned, but they weren't in for more than a week. I hadn't grown 'attached' to them.

Life, and cancer, are progressing over here. There is a mass in the area of the stomach, so I can't eat much and am losing weight, have heartburn that no antacid can reach. I have lower abdominal pain as the cancer spreads through the peritoneum. And I fractured a vertebrae. Nothing to do with cancer. Osteoporosis. Who knew? Today I stayed home from work. I can see this becoming a pattern, not one I like.

My onc wants me to take Xeloda as a palliative treatment. I am very hesitant. I can find nothing on the Internet about Xeloda alone for pancreatic cancer. I only find it with Gemzar, which we have decided I can not take. (It puts me in danger of bone marrow failure.) And Xeloda is an oral form of 5FU, which made me very sick when I took it with my radiation. But I think my family wants me to try it, 'just in case'. The doctor has made it very clear that, if it does anything, it would only be to make me more comfortable until the tumor catches up.

I'm sorry if I sound like I am coming from a place of depression. To me, it just feels like reality -- facing the facts.

And Carol, as you probably know all too well, November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month. Wear Purple!

And Nancy, huh? And if it didn't originate in the liver, where did it start? And now what? Wow.

Sent by Stephanie Dornbrook | 12:40 PM ET | 11-12-2007

I have to admit getting my drains out didn't really hurt or anything like I thought. I made the surgeon do it though-I didn't trust his PA.

Just "blow out the candles" as they do it. It'll be easy, I hope for you too!

http://iamobsessedwithlife.blogspot.com/

Sent by Rachel Baumgartner | 12:45 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Hey Leroy....Just tell them....."I'm not afraid of no stinkin' pressure!"

Sent by betty obst | 12:48 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Dear Leroy,

So glad to hear that you are getting better. I'm sure you will be much more comfortable once the drains have been removed.

Stay well my friend. I have no other comments today except that ............I'm feeling kind of down today. My husband started an new chemo drug and has been getting nosebleeds. This is one of the side effects and the doctor said we should not worry about it. It seems as if the doctors all say the same quotes " A little pressure" , "A little discomfort", "A little nosebleed"..........

Be well my friend.

Sent by sasha | 12:58 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Hurray. When I had my drain tubes out, one in the neck, 2 in the lungs and one in the back, they didn't hurt. I was scared to death before they took them out, but I was surprised that they didn't hurt. I took a deep breath and voila they were out. My thoughts are with you.

Sent by Ruth White | 1:13 PM ET | 11-12-2007

I remember getting the drains out after my breast cancer surgery. On the one hand I couldn't wait to have those things GONE. On the other hand I knew that I heal pretty fast... and that meant that pulling them out was going to hurt like an SOB. Well, first one really *didn't*. Relaxed a bit for the second one - which DID. Said a few choice words and scared the PA who had clearly drawn the short straw and got to do the deed. Figured the last one was going to be just as bad - but it was painless. So you might just get lucky. And even if they do hurt - trust me when I tell you, the pain is momentary and then you are FREE of all that stuff being attached to you. WORTH IT!!!!
Hang in there -

Sent by Susan | 1:43 PM ET | 11-12-2007

LARRY, ASK FOR MORPHINE BEFORE THE DRAINS ARE PULLED! From a pediatric pain doc--we do this for the kids, you certainly deserve it too. Takes the edge off.

Sent by Nancy Glass, MD, Houston TX | 1:48 PM ET | 11-12-2007

One more day, yeah! I too have had that "interesting" feeling when the 2 chest tubes were removed after my lung resection surgery, it just felt so great to have the freedom to move around again and be able to breathe deeply without that sound of the tubes moving inside my chest. I also found it "interesting" that the nurse needed to brace herself with her foot on the side of the bed to get it out, thank you God for good drugs! We had a good laugh afterward.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow........take good care

Sent by Donna L | 1:57 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Yes, those doctors do have their codes.
Having drains out is a huge milestone in recovery. In case this offers you any hope, when my drains were removed, I really only did feel some tugging because enough of the nerves around the surgery site had been cut (so very little feeling). Of course there are good and bad things about having nerves cut, but after a while in this process, everything becomes relative.

Sent by Maggie | 1:59 PM ET | 11-12-2007

You are making good progress, and that is great news.
My heart goes out to all of you who are fighting this terrible disease in its many forms.
With continued prayers and best wishes,
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 2:22 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Good afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, A great step coming up tomorrow you get to toss those drains away!! Try to relax as much as you can during the procedure. The more relaxed you are the less it will hurt. I'm sending you vibes of a soft fluffy cloud for you to ride through the procedure.

Laurie, I can picture the two of you relaxing tomorrow night: soft lights, a warm drink and a good adventure film on TV!

To All, I know that we can all breathe a sign of relief now that Leroy is out of danger and making really good progress. The continued support on this blog is amazing!

To Nancy, Please keep us up to date on what you find out about the neuroendocrine carcinoma in your liver. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC.

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 2:37 PM ET | 11-12-2007

To Stephanie,

My husband has been taking Xeloda every day (Orally) for the past six months along with his infusion of Taxotere and Avistan, which is given every three weeks. He has pulmonary metastases from esophageal cancer. If I can ease your mind
(and I know everyone can have different side effects) my husband had very little side effects from the Xeloda and it seems to be keeping him in check! The tumors are not shrinking, but they are not growing and he is not developing any new ones.

I wish you well and hope that this information is helpful.

Sent by sasha | 2:47 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,
While they were getting ready to remove my chest tube, the surgeon walked in, saw what was going on, said," Oh, I hate this part.", turned and left the room. In spite of this, the actual removal was anticlimactic and a great relief. Glad to hear they are coming out.
Nancy and Stephanie; you are both in my thoughts.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 2:47 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Second entry for today, if accepted.... Leroy, you are a rather large man, right? You could always start when it is time for the drains to be pulled by saying, "Let's understand something right away, if you hurt me, I will hurt you."

Put it out on the table right way. Breathing out does help, relax as much as possible.

Sent by Susan Chap | 3:17 PM ET | 11-12-2007

I think it will be great when the tubes come out. I've had a chest tube on two different occasions. It's somewhat painful in and of itself, but I think an artificial tube stuck in your body causes all sorts of systemic and referred pain that you aren't necessarily aware of.

I dealt with the chest tubes okay, but I have to say that after the initial pain of pulling out the tube, the feeling was almost euphoric when as of the systemic pain started to evaporate.

jeff

Sent by Jeff | 3:38 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Ha! A "little pressure" were the last words I heard before the doctor pushed a tube into my chest for the pleurodesis. I have been a cynic since that experience!
One of the things I love about your blog - no matter what cancer anyone has - your descriptions of your experiences and feelings are universal.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 3:48 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Hey Leroy,
Very glad to hear you're making progress! When my 10-year-old is getting a shot I ask him to spell a difficult word--takes his mind off what is happening. Maybe someone could do that for you?!? ;)
XOXO

Sent by Katie | 4:20 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Congratulations to you, Leroy! I know nothing about drain removal, but it sounds as though the pain, if there is any, will be shortlived. And the joy, infinite!

Stephanie, we are all with you. We want to know how you are doing, and we are all praying for you.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:53 PM ET | 11-12-2007

LeRoy,
One of my friends and a fan of your blog passed away of Breast Cancer Early Sunday morning. Ellen was a beautiful lady and will be missed

Sent by Philip Booth | 5:11 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy, Whenever I hear the words 'a little discomfort' or 'you're gooing to feel a little pressure,' I get out the rosary beads. ----- Today's post sounds a bit lighter to me and I'm so glad for it. ALWAYS pulling for you.

Sent by joanne | 5:56 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Dear Leroy:
Such good advice from so many knowing people. I will hold on to all these suggestions and share them in the future with any friend who is facing drain removal.
I wish there were a way to "search" (a la Google) all these wonderful messages and pieces of information. How helpful it would be to be able to type in "drain removal" into a box that could appear on the blog's homepage and get the treasure trove of advice that is here.
Occasionally I laugh out loud when someone calls you "Larry"! My husband has often said that, to each of us, the most important word in the English language........is our name!
Lastly, to Stephanie and Nancy K: I am always grateful to read your contributions and updates, and to continue to learn from you both. Blessings and prayers.

Sent by Harriet | 6:21 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Dear Leroy and Others.

I haven't written for a while. When I last made a post in May, I thought I was cancer free. Not so fast young man (if 55 is young?!?) In September, what I thought was a pulled muscle or a sprain in my back was another tumor. This one was in my T 12 vertebrae and was pinching my spinal chord. The pain was increasing every day and I was days from being paralyzed. I was admitted immediately and about 48 hours later, my T 12 vertebrae was gone and I had two titanium rods bolted to T 10, T 11, synthetic T 12, L 1 and L 2. Like you, I have been stunned by the post op pain. I had radiation to kill any remnants of cancer in T 11 and around T 12. Then, more news. I have tumors in my lungs and in my skull (thank goodness they are not in my brain!) and neither chemotherapy nor immunotherapy will help. I am being offered Sutent as a drug to help me live with cancer. There is no cure for kidney cancer once it spreads. I had to ask the Dr. the hard question. "Am I going to die from this?" To which he replied "yes."

Somber news to say the least. So, like you, I have used a walker, then a cane, and now a back brace. I am tired and can't sleep. I'm torn between pain pills and the way they make me feel and the pain I feel. I never know if I am going to sleep or lie away. I work hard at being positive, but there is a deep dark black space in the back of my mind that always reminds me that I have cancer and that I will most likely die from it. The pain and the medicine alsy remind me. However, I am done with the walker and anxious to give it away. I keep the cane handy for longer walks. But it too is a reminder that I am ill.

It is certainly not a new story in the world of cancer. However, it is a new and shocking story for me.

I wish healthy survival for you and all of the other cancer patients. If ever the phrase "life is not fair" was to be proven, it does so with cancer.

I will write again when I have something to say which is more upbeat!

Steve Albright
Calabasas, CA

Sent by Steve Albright | 6:55 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Here here, it will be a great day when the drains come out!!!! I think they are just mean....

Sent by ellie | 6:57 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Hi Leroy:
Good luck tomorrow with the drains. I fell off my chair laughing about doctors' favorite word - pressure. Last time they said that to me when they were removing my port and yes it hurt like hell. Wouldn't it be nice if these guys could actually feel what we in the cancer world have gone through. So tomorrow ask them to get rid of this word from their medical mumbo jumble. Keep hangin in there!!
Fran

Sent by fran rauba | 7:37 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,
We'll be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope that it all goes easily. When they removed my husbands chest tubes the seconds of discomfort when they were removed soon became minutes and soon hours and then days of relief!
Best of luck!

Sent by Deb | 9:03 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Stephanie, Sorry that you have some decisions to make and all is not going too well. Yes I know all too well that November is Pancreatic Awareness Month. My daughter, Cathy whom you know is working with her daughter's Day Care Center to do something special on November 15th and all the gals that attend Curves with me are going to wear purple that day. The best to you and your husband. God Bless

Sent by Carol | 9:48 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Dearest Leroy,

My perspective comes as that of an oncology nurse and the daughter of a cancer patient. You have given your readers one of the greatest gifts in the world by doing your blog. I know you have been told a million times, but thank you, thank you, and thank you again! Love to you!

Sent by Anne | 11:29 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Leroy,
It is late but I wanted to wish you well for tomorrow..as with so many things in cancerworld the pulling of the drains is a temporary "discomfort". After all you have been through this will be low on the scale of pain I am sure.
To Sasha..it is uncommon to hear comments from caregivers and being one myself I sense your worry. I find so few outlets for us. Praying for you and your husband.

Sent by Kathie | 11:53 PM ET | 11-12-2007

Another secret comment is "you are now going to experience some mild discomfort." This translates into, "oh my gosh you are going to scream loud enough to shatter eardrums." I am sure some day they will have some sort of translation book for these other others like "think of this as a learning opportunity." Glad the drains are out...now let's get you HOME!!

Sent by Cherie Brown, Tucson | 5:45 AM ET | 11-13-2007

Leroy,

I thought the doctors would be saying "you are going to feel the pleasure", That would have been a good day....Hang in there...Better days are a coming

Gail Hunsberger, Roch., NY

Sent by Gail Hunsberger Rochester,NY | 7:37 AM ET | 11-13-2007

Leroy:

My favorite was "You're going to feel some slight discomfort, Mr. Timmons". This, I learned was a precursor to searing agony. However, it was usually short lived, removing drains, staples or other unpleasant things from surgery.

Now,when I cry out in during during the "slight discomfort" the Doctor says "I'm sorry". Hey, for me it's OK, because after a little pain, always comes healing.

Heare's to a drain free day tomorrow!

BEN

Sent by Ben Timmons | 4:13 PM ET | 11-13-2007

Thanks for your insight. I didn't think they could be that dumb. I just had my ovaries removed because I'm estrogen receptive. I only mention this because it's one of many procedures I've been through this last year. They all sound so benign on the front end. Abdominal surgery is a new one on me. This whole process has taught me is that we in the medical profession order procedures with nary a thought on how it's going to feel to the pt. ( I can feel myself reving up and better stop.) Through my own experience, I will be more of an advocate to the little pt.'s I work with that do not have a voice. No wonder they are crying and the doctors don't even have to use their new found line on them.

Sent by Lisa | 8:18 PM ET | 11-13-2007