Good Morning Leroy,

I honestly doubt your friend viewed your nap as rude. The operative word here is FRIEND. They except you through good and bad, sickness and health, (sort of sounds like marriage vows). That is what friends do.

So, you fell asleep, you needed it! Continue to heal, I am certain other friends will tell you the same thing. Falling asleep because you're bored is different than needing a nap to help you heal.

Sent by Susan Chap | 7:47 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy, There must be some relief in letting go of the facade, in just being with people.

For awhile my husband, in the later stages of his pancreatic cancer, didn't want to see people because he couldn't "do anything for them" (cook, converse very much, fix things, etc.). Always a doer, the guy everyone else depended on, he felt useless.

A wise man ressured him that people didn't expect anything from him now, that they just wanted to be with him to express their love, thanks and respect. He asked my husband to try just receiving that. He convinced him that he was giving people a gift by allowing them to do this.

That was a great lesson and not an easy one for my husband to learn.

Sent by Marilyn | 8:01 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy,

You are indeed a lucky man. I have had the similar amazing experience of friends who understand, seem to know exactly what to do and say and have provided much needed support: laughter when it is needed, hugs when they are needed, and the recognition when I just need to be alone.

Interestingly, it is my family that I am having difficulty with. It is just my sister and me, and my mom. I had always considered my sister and me close, but this experience has made me adjust that. Unfortunately. Friends tell me it is hard for both of them to deal with this; sometimes I am OK with that explanation, and sometimes I wanted to scream. My sister went on a skiing vacation during my first surgery. I was flabbergasted. Luckily friends came in to sit with my husband in the hospital so he wouldn't be alone. Just the beginning of my redefinition of family.

OK, enough whining for now. Stay strong Leroy!

Cheryl

Sent by Cheryl | 8:10 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Good Morning Leroy, what a heartfelt morning! Don't believe that anyone who knows and loves you could possibly think of you as rude. When the body needs rest, it must sleep. Please don't be too hard on yourself.
If you give in to depression, you kick the rug from under your own feet when they are trying to find strength for those next big steps. My husband, when he was in his twenties & supposedly healthy, used to doze off in front of friends, much to my chargrin. Today at the ripe old age of 86 never does that anymore! Guess he simply had to regress into his own world at that time to (maybe) adjust to the fact that his back was recuperating from his spinal fusion to repair his horse riding accident damaged vertebrae. All those nerves in your spine must rest and heal. Those who love you understand that while you appear to be asleep, your body is very much awake - fighting it's own battle!

Sent by J C R | 8:10 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Hi Leroy,
That happened to me all the time when I was going through chemo. It's no big deal, if someone cares about you and knows what you are having to deal with, they understand. Keep healing, resting and know that so many people are rooting for you,

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:11 AM ET | 11-27-2007

I remember when I had my surgery in 2001. Two of my visitors got to wash my hair! They were glad to do it, too. There is so much they want to do, and so little they can do, other than pray.

Sent by Ruth from Virginia | 8:22 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy, Laurie and Cancer Family,

Leroy, I feel like you will have some real good news for us soon. But for now it is o.k. to just be yourself. Take it easy!!

My prayers for all of us in this war!!

Love to all,
Betty Lewis

P.S. Also, I have noticed nothing from Stephanie D. lately?? I pray she is o.k.

Sent by Betty K. Lewis | 8:30 AM ET | 11-27-2007

You continue to amaze me Leroy. Not only with your gifted writing style, but also with your ability to put to words some of our family's experiences.

It is hard to share with others what this journey does to a person or their family. Our son is 4 and 1/2 and just completed his second round of chemo for a rare blood disease called histiocytosis.

We find - my husband and I - that we are blessed with being more comfortable in who we each are and who we are as a family because of this journey.

I am not as articulate as you are so hopefully you understand how much your written words mean to us. You put words again to experiences we have a hard time expressing.

It is awesome when others understand that we do receive blessings on this journey.

Sent by Melissa T | 8:34 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy:
A true friend "lets me be me." That is truly a "huge gift".
It's a gift that is also found in support groups. Allowing yourself to freely express fears and anguish can do so much for your wellbeing and recovery.
We are all so fortunate to have those special friends!
Namaste,
Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 8:38 AM ET | 11-27-2007

There is wisdom in your words this morning Leroy. It's a wise person who can acknowledge when their bodies' needs take precedence, and that there is no shame in that. Fighting that need only makes things worse.
I know that yours has been a long and difficult struggle. I'm hopeful that with continued rest, you'll get to a much stronger place, and will enjoy a halcyon period for a long time.
I was listening to a conversation with an author on NPR yesterday. He'd written a book on wealth in America, and what is considered wealth, He discussed how in the course of interviews with many wealthy subjects, even people who by most standards are fabulously wealthy may not consider themselves to be that. He and a guest and callers discussed what finally, real wealth is. By any meaningful standard, you are wealthy, and so am I. I know nothing about your bank statement, but you have had work that is meaningful to you and to millions of others, a partner whom you love, and who loves and supports you, clean water whenever you need it, good food, a home, friends who love and support you, the respect of colleagues, and the prayers and support of all of us who have been part of that blog. Not only are you lucky, you're wealthy, and so am I.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 8:44 AM ET | 11-27-2007

In a book I recently read, a pastor was seriously injured in an auto accident. Unable to do anything for himself even brush his teeth -both arms and legs broken. He retreated into himself and could not find a way to allow his friends and members of his congregation to help him. A fellow pastor chastized him for always wanting to be the one to do the ministering versus allowing others to do for him as he had always done for them.

Sometimes the greatest gift we can give to our friends is to allow them to minister (errands, wash hair, clean a house, or just sit with us)to our needs! Leroy,I suspect that you made your friend's day even though you took a nap!!

Asking for and receiving help is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of great strength and security.

Blessings and prayers.

Sent by Al Cato | 9:09 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Thank you Leroy, for reminding me of just how fortunate I am to be surrounded by the same kind of understanding and loyal friends and family that you describe here. And, too, for your generosity in sharing yourself with all of us. I wonder if you will ever know the true amount of good that you have done.

Sent by Lesa in Kansas | 9:21 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy,
I hear the surprise in you that you can fall asleep in the company of a friend who has come a long distance to visit you. Something that you wouldn't have even imagined doing before. But I also hear the relief in you knowing that you can be exactly as you need to be during this healing process. Cancer strips us of our facades and sometimes what we find is more geniune and real and valuable. And that, my friend, is good medicine! You are a healing man on every level. Blessings.

Kate

Sent by Kate Fuehrer | 9:23 AM ET | 11-27-2007

"My friends know what I'm going through, and they don't look away"...you are right, it is a huge gift. They are brave enough to love without fear. So many of us can tell you of the friends who ran away and avoided us. I can. It's nice to know you're surrounded with love.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:39 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy,
My friend, Bob Wood, drove from Albuquerque to Houston while I was undergoing chemotherapy and radiation at Methodist Hospital. I could barely raise my head to acknowledge his presence, let alone speak. Staying awake was almost impossible. And I certainly worried and thought about it for some time thereafter. We've discussed this since and the reality is that he came to see me, not to have a conversation. I also realize that at that point no one was sure that I would survive...but nearly three years later, here I am, grateful for every day.
Harry

Sent by Harry Jones | 9:39 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy --

Sick or well; vulnerable or strong, it is essential to just be. When you live as who you are, you will find a gentleness and understanding in people that will always surprise you.

Kindly,

Elaine

Sent by Elaine Barnes | 9:51 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy,
Your true friends understand that you are in the fight of your life. Noone knows what is going on within yourself unless they've been there. But...they know you are in pain, that every day is a struggle, and your tired of this fight. Youve given so much of yourself over the years and I think its wonderful that you are getting some of that appreciation in return.

Take care of you,
Warm hugs,
Robin T
CT.

Sent by Robin T | 10:06 AM ET | 11-27-2007

i wanted to comment to CHERYL as well as to you Leroy. I can totally relate to family not being there for me and how shocking and strange it was to witness. The people you thought would be there for you arent, and its hard to digest. I found new supports that i didnt think possible. It is definitely sad to come to that realization, that some family just cant be there, cant cope. I feel like i had to grieve my relationship with certain people, the past relationship and look at the new one. I can relate to what you said Leroy, about how its silly to monitor my behavior when i'm the one going thru a big fight for my life. i found i was too tired and too cranky to care, i stripped away the "face" and told it like it was. There was a definite relief to that.

Sent by Jenn | 10:08 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Dear Leroy,

It is truly a blessing, and oh so liberating, to finally be able to be yourself, or let down your guard, or ask for help - in any circumstance, and yet find that there are those who still love you unconditionally, and would literally walk through fire for you. There is nothing more valuable, other than the love of God, who feels the same way! Yes, you are a lucky, and loved man. Continued healing. Sleep when you can!

Sent by Connie E. | 10:12 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Dear Leroy,

When I was going through chemo, we had "Oscar Fridays". A group of friends would come over every Friday morning, bring food, and we would watch Oscar contender movies. Some Fridays all I could do was lie on the couch and snooze. Some Fridays, I could watch the entire movie AND eat some of the food. Regardless of my condition on any given Friday, my group of friends would gather at my home and be there with me. They just carried on. That's what friends know how to do.

Still hope the drain is soon coming out.

Best,
Mo

Sent by Mo Spikes | 10:15 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Dear Leroy,

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's your turn to be taken care of by those who love you. You have given so much of yourself. You have what it takes to truly make a difference in other peoples lives. Your blog speaks for itself. Be well dear friend. Prayers to you and Laurie.

Sent by sasha | 10:25 AM ET | 11-27-2007

I agree with Kate. What we find under the facade is more "genuine and real and valuable". I think sometimes we ourselves are confused by our facades, suspecting there's terrible weakness underneath and afraid to take a look. The truth is, that's where our real strength is. Explaining that is almost impossible. Maybe one has to experience catastrophic change, sort of a metamorphosis, to find that secret strength.

Sent by Laura | 10:35 AM ET | 11-27-2007

When I was first diagnosed, one of my friends whose wife was fighting breast cancer gave me some terrific advice. He said, "When your friends offer to help, let them". That's difficult sometimes to do. We're all raised with the idea of "rugged individualism" and self sufficiency. Once you have cancer, that's no longer possible.

I believe that's one of the gifts cancer brings. Allowing others to minister to us is important for us and our friends. What a blessing that we have friends to walk with us on this journey.

I truly believe that God cares for us through others. I know I feel amazing love from my network of friends and family.

Rest and heal and know that you are loved by many.

Sent by Anne Hart | 10:41 AM ET | 11-27-2007

How appropriate your writing is today. On Thanksgiving my cousin and his family came late and cooked dinner. Although I appreciated all that I was very tired by that time of day and my patience at a very low level (especially with 3 pre-teens in the mix). I thought I was rather grumpy and finally said I had to go to bed. I cried and my daughter told my not to worry and my cousin said "you did great". I don't know what they expected but people who love you don't care that you fall asleep or behave differently - they only care about seeing you and doing for you. Thank God for the love of friends and family and their support through all this.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 10:43 AM ET | 11-27-2007

I deeply appreciated your post today, Leroy. Yes, you really are a lucky person.

On Sunday I sent out a personal update to my friends and family who want to know how I'm doing and what this journey is like for me. It was a very intense, personal message this time. After sending it I realized that nowhere in the text did I mention how fortunate or grateful I am.

Just the fact that so many people care and want to know how I am doing is such a gift. Plus, there is the gift that all of us in this cyber community have with each other.

The sunrise yesterday was spectacular...bright hot pink and orange filled the sky and colored the lake below us. I walked outside in the cold and just said thank you and cried. It is so good to be alive.

Thank you all.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:45 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Hi Leroy,

I started reading your blog after hearing your occasional piece on NPR.
I'm sure you are receiving many supportive e-mails, and of course I too
hope for the best for you. But I have a bit of constructive criticism, if
you feel up to fielding it. (I'm also a cancer sufferer, plodding through after
almost 12 years of tests and treatments, but perhaps now in the end-game).

Here's my gripe. Your blogs fill in the picture admirably, but I think NPR
is copping out on keeping people informed. Your commentaries were always
insightful and poignant, and gave a real picture of what it is like to be a
cancer sufferer. But now that things have taken a turn for the worse, which is
often the lot of a cancer victim, NPR seems to have gone into radio silence. I may
have missed something, but the only report I heard was a reprocessed piece from
some time back.

Maybe it is that you just don't have the energy to make up and record a new piece at
this time. But NPR should come to your house, and record what you feel and how
you sound. It is only fair to let listeners know what it is really like, including the
hard bumps in the road.

I can always complain to NPR, but thought you might have more "pull" with them
for getting back on the air.

I'll go back to being an unheard-from blog reader, and with great hopes for your
recovery, remain a strong supporter of your cause.

Sincerely, Donald Coyne, Bonny Doon, CA

Sent by Donald Coyne | 10:51 AM ET | 11-27-2007

I used to fall asleep constantly and I had a standard response whenever anyone asked me something: "I don't know. What do you think?" No one ever seemed to know I'd been sleeping. Not that they would have cared, of course.

Keeping of a facade takes untold amounts of energy. I'm glad you haven't been trying to maintain it.

Keeping you in thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Gyla | 11:09 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Imagine if it were your friend Ted who had gone through all the ordeals that you have been put through recently. What would you be wanting to do? Just sit by his side, maybe. Words wouldn't be necessary.How would you feel if he fell asleep? Probably you'd just be happy to see him getting some much needed rest. I'd guess you'd feel a great tenderness and love for him at that moment. Would he be "lucky" to have you there? I suppose so, but the love betwen friends benefits both parties -- even if one is going through a tough time. Anyhow, really good friends can see right through facades, so why bother?

Sent by Doris | 11:56 AM ET | 11-27-2007

Good Morning, Leroy. I understand you, Harry and Mo completely. Last November, my best friend came from Texas to have Thanksgiving with me. I know she was here because I have pictures of her but I don't remember her being here. At all. But I am so grateful she came.

Sent by glenda | 12:11 PM ET | 11-27-2007

i had to comment on some of the poster's disappointment with family. i am very fortunate to have a very supportive family and great friends. Remember, friends are chosen, its no wonder they often can step in when a family member can't. I think it is one of the blessings of cancer when a friend can really make a difference. Even as a stable cancer patient, I still rely on my friends; even for little things like helping me do my dishes on a particularly tiring morning. Little things like doing dishes, allowing you to rest are small gifts to us. Take them, you deserve it.

Sent by cv | 12:20 PM ET | 11-27-2007

It seems presumptuous for me to say, Leroy, but you are lucky. I think when all is said and done, not having enough fingers and toes to count your friends says a great deal about a person. If the "Leroy Sievers' Cheering Squad" all took our shoes, there still wouldn't be enough to count those that you can count on. Is that muddled? Hope not.

Sent by Sharon Donahue, Tucson, AZ | 12:23 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Yes. I would like to echo what Jenn said about "Cheryl's" comments and her hurt by her Sister not being there for her. Please Cheryl, do not let this event affect your relationship with your Sister. It will grow and fester until you feel totally abandoned by someone you love and need. Your Mom will be hurt by it also. It is so true that some people cannot handle or cope when they think they are in danger of losing a person they love and feel helpless to do anything.
You need each other, so understand and forgive.

Sent by J C R | 12:23 PM ET | 11-27-2007

i really enjoyed your post today, Leroy. Sending warm hugs and wishes to you and Laurie. xo

Sent by liz h | 12:33 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Yes! not having to maintain a facade! Made me beam with recognition of why I'd loved a painting I found earlier on line today. You can see Rebecca LaMothe's "Up From the Cracks in the Facade" online at her website: http://rebeccalamothe.com/gallery-art1.html It illustrates what can grow from the honesty that underlies facade. No doubt your friends see your beautiful healing and mending while you sleep, exhort, whine or fall apart. Humanness is so understandable when we actually dare share it with those around us. Sent you heart energy earlier today while looking at the paintings, and now understand it all more.

Sent by Sarah | 1:02 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy...I have no idea where I first found this little piece on friendship, but think it applicable to those of us who have shared the cancer experience as either patient or caregiver:

"Oh, what a comfort...of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words-but pouring them all right out...chaff and grain together...certain that a faithful friend will sift them-keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

Your nap was surely understood and accepted by that visiting friend.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 1:09 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy,

Thank goodness you don't feel like you have to keep up appearances or put up a front. It takes energy to do this and your energy is needed elsewhere for healing.

I think there is something very beautiful about just being who you are and allowing others to see that. I'm not much into people who "put on airs." It's a waste of my time.

I like you very much for your transparency. Thank you.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 1:09 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Perhaps in our society too much importance is put on "family" as it is usually defined (i.e., often by Norman Rockwell paintings.) Coming from a very dysfunctional background, I've discovered that real family much more encompasses friends I have chosen than blood relations I got by chance -- particularly in times of crisis, illness, etc. The fact that, in the random draw of life, one happens to share DNA with someone doesn't necessarily mean that they are "family" in the true sense of the word. I've always liked something Richard Bach said: "The loving, caring family you deserve is there for you somewhere. But you may not be related to them."

Sent by SteveT | 1:44 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy, Honestly, I don't know what I would do without family and friends. Those who don't get this support, I don't know how they survive. The stories of friends turning their backs make you wonder, where they really friends in the first place. You have the right to fall asleep, your friend understands. We are blessed. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 1:48 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy, I'm glad you were in good company and able to sleep. Sometimes the most beautiful moments are spent in togetherness without shared words.

"The beauty in the silent sound,
in darkness thoughts seem profound.
Time to belong, to only me,
I close my eyes and beauty see."

Rest and rejuvenate!

Sent by Suzanne Lindley | 2:11 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Spend your energy getting better....that's what is important now. Don't give another thought to what people think if you nod off anywhere you are at. God Bless

Sent by Teresa in WV | 3:28 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy - When we would bring my grandmother out visiting as she got to be much older she would fall asleep all the time, any place, any where, and sometimes we wondered if we should be embarrassed for her - until my Auntie confided that she took it as a compliment that my grandmother felt comfortable enough in my Auntie's home to nap there. My Auntie saw it as priviledge to be in the presence of a senior person and provide her with what she needed - safe and loving company. I am confident that your friend felt the same way.
Keep sleeping - Jennifer

Sent by Jennifer | 3:43 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Having close honest friends and family is one of the best gifts we can hope for. I'm glad you have yours.

Sent by Lisa | 3:49 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Dear LeRoy, You were definitely not rude! You have a serious illness and, it sounds like, friends who understand. I remember a time when I was on chemo and all that I could do was lie on the couch either sleeping or staring out the window. My brother, Jeff came over to visit me but I wasn't very responsive. My roommate, Bob sat in the living room with us and chatted with Jeff. They ended up watching hockey or football or something like that, talking sports stats. I couldn't contribute, but I felt so good having them there. And I felt relieved that they were comfortable enough to be present without having expectations from me.
I'm a lucky woman.

Sent by Cindy H. | 3:49 PM ET | 11-27-2007

If today's blog said "My friend came over and was so boring that I decided to take a nap."

That would have been rude. But we, your groupies would have said "way to take charge!"

Sometimes the best comfort is in hearing the voices of people we care about - it is so relaxing, and safe. No wonder your body was able to catch some zzzzs.

You body craves sleep. Give in! Your friend (who presumably follows the blog) would have felt worse if you wrote in today "I needed to take a nap but couldn't because my friend kept yapping!"

Sweet dreams!

Liz

Sent by Liz L. | 4:00 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy,

Anything you do right now is fine. Just rest and heal. Taking a nap is resting, and therefore healing. Take advantage of any rest you can get!

All of your friends understand.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:20 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Yes, friends who understand what you're going through and don't look away are priceless. And I suppose one gift of being the person who is weak, sleepy, brain-dead, angry or in pain from all the treatments is you get to see how much your friends can come through in this way. Unfortunately there are some who may not and that can be oainful. But then there are those that do when you didn't think they would. That is such a blessing.

Hope you get the sleep you need, and whatever else you need, when you need it.

Sent by N.R. | 4:52 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Your body's needs rule the day.?? I dare say that there isn't one person on this blog who would disagree.?? You give your body what it needs when it needs it and you don't ask questions.?? I'm sure your friend was just glad to see you.

This Spring I had the opportunity to spend an evening with a friend of mine who is in late stage prostate cancer.?? I live 2,300 miles away from my friend, but was in town on business.?? So, I took him out for a drink...two actually.?? For him it was a much needed social night out with a "fellow traveler" in the cancer battle.?? For me it was just part of being a friend and a survivor.?? As I was driving him home he fell asleep.??Yeah, he probably was a little drunk. I knew that sleep was not something he had been getting a lot of.?? I was actually flattered that he felt comfortable enough with me to let his guard down and get some rest.?? It sounds way corny, but I looked at him sleeping while I was driving him to his house and thought how peaceful he looked.?? All the worry and concern was off his face...even if it was only for one evening.?? He is not a person who lets his guard down often.?? But when you're fighting so hard for so long you have to let it down.?? I'm just glad that I could provide one evening of solice.
We're all in this together.

Sent by Dave U. | 6:16 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy, and thank YOU for being a great friend to us here at your blog--it surely must take mental and physical energy to keep us informed. Hope you get more ZZZzzzs whenever you can!

Sent by Dorothy, Los Angeles | 6:41 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Dear Leroy,
Once when I was pregnant, I fell asleep at the home of friends, while my husband was visiting with them. Like your friends, they didn't mind, they understood the physical need for rest. I recently was able to take a dear friend who was ill to the ER. It was a blessing for me to be able to be there with her when she was in pain and so ill. Ruth was right when she said that people want to help and oftentimes there is so little they can do. When we don't "do" anything other than extend grace to a friend, we both receive a gift. May God bless you with continued strength and healing.

Sent by Lisa D. | 6:50 PM ET | 11-27-2007

To those of you who've been disappointed by friends or family that seem to turn away - remember that we aren't all equal when it comes to strength or bravery. In the face of fear for a loved one's life, some people break and run, not from a lack of love, but because of love. They don't know how to face their fear. They hide. They lose that important opportunity to help and be helped. Try to feel sorry for them and focus on other sources of strength around you.

Sent by Laura | 7:49 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Maybe being real is one of those rare gifts from cancer.
Snooze on Leroy!

Love,
Joyce

Sent by joyce | 8:42 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Dear Leroy,
A year ago I found your blog while I was scared to death. My son had been diagnosed with a deadly and rare cancer. Your blog was a comfort to me. Fortunately, his tests were good and we think he is fine. Last Thanksgiving we didn't know if we'd have others together. This Thanksgiving was a very thankful and happy one. I just went to the NPR website tonight for the first time in months to follow up on something else. I saw your photo, so stopped by to see how you were doing. I was so happy to see that you are still writing, though I am sorry that you are not doing too well just now. I want to tell you that, having had multiple experiences as a caregiver, I truly appreciate your essays. Your writing captures the trials, optimism, challenges, courage, and hope of those who are really sick. I wanted you to know that I admire your writing, your wisdom, and your pluck. Your essays are always just perfectly crafted. I know your writing gives comfort to many people. May you be comforted too by the many people who are rooting for you, and add me to the list of those who are sending good energy your way to help you heal.
best regards,

Sent by Sharon | 8:48 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy:

If your friend who had driven so far to see you had fallen asleep, you would have understood that "the drive/ride was long." I expect he felt the same about your "long ride."

One of the nicest things a friend of Burge's did was spend an afternoon watching the Western Channel Movies with him. Part of the time, Burge watched, part he slept, but Rob never acted like he noticed, just filled in the parts of the movie that were missed...not that they hadn't both see the movies many times before. :>)

The gift of silent presence is often the best. It's a bond that need not be spoken.

Take care my friend.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 9:57 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Leroy:
This is my second post, but I read today's comments before I read yesterday's final comments.

I understand very much where Teri is coming from when she says not everyone is in a positive place. When this blog first started and you were still doing "OK" people seemed to be more free to say how they really felt...namely, Cancer Sucks.

Now, however, since you are in a much less positive place, (thankgoodness!!) some of the "reality" of the depressing side of things goes unspoken.

I have learned to think of you as a personal friend, Leroy, and will be the first to try my best to cheer you, but I also think if we in the cancer world are to be realistic with those we are trying to enlighten, being only a good news cheering section is a little false.

Some of us will go on to be 10, 20, 30 year survivors, some will not. For those who won't, a place to be real is just as important as a place to be cheered. I think we need both and those who are down, depressed, etc. still need our understanding.

That just my $.20 worth. (Inflation has even hit opinions :>)

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 10:20 PM ET | 11-27-2007

Rude, lol I know you must be joking. We have cells inside our body trying kill us at each turn. They seem at times to be able to change at will and outsmart our greatest medical minds...and we nap. It is not rude. I tell people, please always remember I have terminal cancer and take an enormous amount of drugs. I have yet to have anyone say demand I stay awake for their visit. My 3 1/2 year old granddaughter says to me "it's okay grandma you just shut your eyes and I will sit here and talk to you real quietly." Sometimes I awake to find her stack of books neatly by my pillow and she has gone off to more exciting ventures or sometimes I awake to find the most beautiful face in the world curled up on the pillow next to me. Either way I know the rest has left me able to have a few more lucide moments w her. Time she will remember even if I do not.

Take a nap they say even the greatest minds do.

Sent by Cherie Brown, Tucson | 5:27 AM ET | 11-28-2007

Dear Leroy,

Yes, it is a gift to have people around you for whom you don't have to maintain any facade. You are who you are, just as you are in this moment. I am blessed to have some people like that too. (and I'm thankful for them everyday; if it's a day where I'm feeling particularly unwell, in pain, grumpy, etc., it might be later in the day when I'm really thankful. :-)

Namaste. Gentle wishes of comfort, kindness, healing.

Take care kiddo,

Kim

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 5:28 AM ET | 11-28-2007

know that we are all praying for you and sending you positive vibes. you are quite the soldier. hope you had enjoyable thanksgiving day

Sent by bernie madden, cape cod | 11:25 AM ET | 11-28-2007

It's not rude you were letting your body do it's thing. If someone doesn't understand that then they aren't your friend. Period.

Sent by Heather | 12:06 PM ET | 11-28-2007