Leroy, not only are you still in the race, you help make the race worth running for the rest of us. Keep up your spirits, keep up the good fight, and keep racing, my friend.

Sent by Joe Robertson | 8:02 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Dear Leroy,

You most certainly are still in the race my friend. They say that time heals everything. Give time, time and try to believe in miracles. I'm tryng my best to think positive and with the help of this blog I hope to succeed.

Be well dear friend. Prayers to you and Laurie.

Sent by sasha | 8:05 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Man oh man Leroy, this monster called Cancer didn't have any idea who it was going to be dealing with when it picked you, did it? I just can't help but feel that after all you've been through, you will beat this in one way or another. In some ways, I believe you already have. Congratulations on making it up the stairs yesterday! That's a HUGE victory and one definitely worth celebrating. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy this beautiful fall season.

Sent by Cindy Crow | 8:06 AM ET | 11-09-2007

You could sing, "And the race is on, here come pride up the back stretch..." or "Time is on my side.." or "Here you come again just when I was about to get myself together..."

Ok, I ran out of songs, however, Leroy, you had several surgeries or procedures pretty much back to back BEFORE this rather large procedure. AND, I am not saying you're old but as we age bouncing back IS harder. So, back to tincture of time and patience. REALLY.

Enjoy the fall weekend, if you can get out into the yard.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:12 AM ET | 11-09-2007

When I hear the phrase, "Back to my old self", this question always comes to mind, "Do I really want to go back?" The answer is always no. We learn so much through our "C" travels, and sometimes learning these lessons are nothing short but sheer hell, but, on the other hand, to lose the knowledge by going back just doesn't seem worth it. Enjoy who you are now and look forward to the person you will become. As always, you are in my thoughts.

Sent by Kathy B. | 8:43 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Today's blog reminded me of the strategy Muhammad Ali employed with great success.. the "Rope a Dope". Inspite of all of your surgeries, treatments which have caused limitations/changes in your daily life, the ol' Rope a Dope strategy is keeping you in the bout with a seemingly superior foe, cancer. Pretty soon, cancer won't be able to defend itself and you'll deliver the knockput punch!! It takes great courage and fortitude, as cancer continues to pound on you, to take its best "shots" but remain unbowed, erect and ready to deliver your own knockout blow! Cancer will never see the blow coming and Leroy will win the bout!!! This is my hope and prayer for you. Please pardon my corny analogy but it seemed appropriate for today.

Prayers and blessings as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:48 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Dang straight YOU are still in the race.
These setbacks, small and large, are temporary. Although, they royally stink.

This latest 'engine repair' was a tedious one. But, it will get better - you are just on a slower course now.

Hang in there Leroy :) (easier said than done, I know)

Sent by lisa | 8:58 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Morning Leroy~ Hope you are sleeping better. I does sound like Depression has become your worst enemy right now, and with good reason. You hsve had one horrible procedure after the other, non stop, for the past months of this year. Now you must back off and allow your wonderful, strong body to re-coup. You really are asking an awful lot of it to be back "to normal" that swiftly. Sounds like you have made great progress since this last episode. My Lord, walking up the stairs? Continuing this Blog without missing a beat? Hey, you are terrific!
Like me, you will have to be patient with the stroke effects. It has been six mos. since mine and my vision is still constantly changing. BUT, I have driven twice now! Not too far, and I have to watch the "dead spots" in my vision, but Leroy, you will have some use of your eyes, as you adjust. My worry now is to keep from having a bigger, more damaging stroke in the future. So, you have a lot to deal with. Rest, enjoy the fact that WE are all still together and "talking"!
Have a great, restful week-end Leroy!

Sent by J C R | 8:58 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy, Sometimes I feel mad that I am not the same- mentally and physically. Then, I feel guilty for complaining when others are worse off. Then, I feel guilty for feeling guilty!!
Every trip up the stairs, or, eventual walk outside is a triumph and cause for some sort of small celebration.
We all wish we could stop by with a good story or favorite meal for you.
May your weekend bring something good.

Sent by NancyGM | 9:06 AM ET | 11-09-2007

That's the important thing-- to stay in the race. Feel better.

Sent by MT | 9:16 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Go, Leroy! GO!

Sent by Sandi Li | 9:25 AM ET | 11-09-2007

The road to victory is the rockiest on the last lap....God Bless

Sent by Teresa in WV | 9:51 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Still in the race? Why, I think I hear your engines revving up! Keep your eye on that tachometer, Leroy. We're all cheering for you, and hoping to follow in your footsteps.

Last night I took an introductory Tai Chi class with a friend. We spent most of the class learning to walk. That's right, two women in their 50s learning to walk very slowly, controlled and deliberately. It was a challenge, even without having to overcome any injuries or recent surgery. There's always something new to accomplish.

I second/third the previous comments, hoping that you and Laurie will enjoy the weekend.

Sent by Sheara | 9:54 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy, just keep on hanging in there. With you in the race it has deffinetely made it easier for the rest. Have a good weekend.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 9:55 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Dear Leroy,

My husband and I were just talking this morning as we romantically (NOT!) rubbed each other down with the Menthol Pain Relief Cream.... Man are we getting old! Since it's gotten colder, our joints doth protest too much. I know that's no comparison to what you and others are feeling, so let me tell you again how much of an inspiration you are. Just keeping this blog going with everything else you've got on your plate is amazing. You have my utmost admiration. God Bless you and Laurie, and everyone, and try to have the best weekend you can. Comfort and healing to all. I hope you get some sleep!

Sent by Connie E. | 9:57 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Have you ever seen those on-line "calculate your Real Age" ads? You enter your stats--height, weight, age--and all the various procedures and ailments that you might have endured, and by magic, you find out how old you *really* are. My calendar age is 42, but my "real age" is in the upper 60s. I strongly question the merit of this calculation, but it does serve to remind me that ever single poke and prod and cut and zap and zing I've tolerated has taken a toll, and that the toll is cumulative. That's not really a surprise...it makes sense. What is a suprise, and a pleasant one, is how durable I'm proving to be, and how well I do recover. My body is quite willing and ready to be well.

Your body is the same. You'll get to the day, Leroy, where all this is merely history, and you'll look back on these posts and try to remember what the big deal was. Hold that day in your sights, brother, and keep your steady pace. You have plenty of the race still to run.

Peace
jj

Sent by Joan Jones | 10:05 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Good Morning, Leroy. I'm so glad to read that you made it up the stairs, that you are feeling witty again and determined to keep moving forward. There is a verse in the Bible about encouraging someone by running along side them as they run their course. Look to either side of you and you will see so many smiling faces running along with you...and I see you encouraging me in mine own course. Thanks.

Sent by glenda | 10:05 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Yes, I know exactly how you feel, Leroy. Yesterday I was at Physical Therapy and I said this feels like someone elses body. This isn't my body.

But it is my body. It is what it is now and I'm so lucky to have it.

I was wheeling up my garbage cans from the street yesterday and thought how good it is to be strong enough to do this job myself again.

I'll take this body and treasure it for as long as I am able.

Have a great weekend Leroy and friends.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:10 AM ET | 11-09-2007

I hardly know what to say. I log on everyday and checking on you has become part of my morning ritual. You help me "keep on keeping on". I'm praying for you. Becca

Sent by Rebecca Hawkins | 10:11 AM ET | 11-09-2007

That last line says it all: you're still in the race! Or -- considering the alternative, you're doing okay...Even without cancer, aging alone is a series of acceptances that the old normal is gone forever. But there's always a new normal with its own unique positive and negative sides.

Have a beautiful weekend, Everybody.

Sent by Doris | 10:13 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Along with improving physical health, I wish you a healthy dose of patience to be given to yourself.

T'aint easy, what you're gonin' through. Think of the advice you would be GIVING to someone in your spot...Be nice to yourself Leroy...you have earned it!

Peggy

Peggy

Sent by Peggy Miles | 10:17 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Dear friend:
I hope I can make you smile or even laugh out loud with this New Yorker cartoon I've held on to for a while:
Picture a man in a bathrobe sitting in front of a tv obviously tuned to a "shop at home" channel. The caption reads:
"It's 4 A.M.---- maybe you'd sleep better if you bought some crap".
From my heart comes a repetition of all the support, suggestions and praise that others have sent you as you make your way through this difficult period.

Sent by Harriet | 10:18 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Good for you, Leroy! Thanks for inspiring us with your fight and attitude. Everytime I read your blog it gives me a boost in energy to fight my cancer. We do have to be tough don't we?

Sent by Bettie Wolverton | 10:22 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy,
I sort of know how you feel. It has been almost 17 months since I had my last cancer surgery (my fifth). In all the others I was pretty much back to "normal" in a couple of months. Even chemo did not keep me from doing the things I wanted. Not so this time as I am still married to my IV pole. I really want to divorce it!! However, in spite of that I feel grateful that I am able to do the things I can do.
There is no doubt that you are still in the race! Just keep the pedal to the metal!
I hope you have a good weekend and are starting to sleep a little.
Charlotte in Temecula

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:26 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy,
Your comments touched my heart. Everywhere we turn, we're bombarded by young, beautiful, untested bodies (or ways to supposedly achieve those) with the implication that this is the standard to which we should aspire. But these bodies are tools, meant to be used as we go about the business of living. All tools show the effects of work they've done; those more often tested bear more scars, but those scars are beautiful, signs of strength and endurance.
Please know that I think of you every day. I'm grateful for your willingness to share your walk with all of us. Hang in there!

Sent by Kathy Groh Canby | 10:45 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Keep on trucking. The race isn't over. Stay patient and get outside if you can.Our prayers are with you.

Sent by anne lumberger | 10:53 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Don't worry about getting back to normal, just try to feel good even if not everything is like it use to be. Patience my friend!

Sent by DiAnn | 10:53 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy,

I hear your weariness and why wouldn't you be weary? You've endured a lot. I want to say carpe diem - take what today has to give. We only have today. Yesterday is over and tomorrow hasn't come yet.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:54 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Damn straight you're still in the race, Leroy. In fact, as far as I'm concerned you're the leader of the pack!! You go, big guy!
Love, Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 11:11 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Hi Leroy,

As serious as all of this is, I just had to laugh at your post. What a joy it is to be a part of your life and so many others. You are so smart!! What a writer you are!!! I just feel like you are getting better!!!!

I wish everybody a great weekend. Look forward to Monday.

Love to all,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty Lewis | 11:44 AM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy,

I can't tell you how inspiring it is to hear the fight in you come back. It reinforces the value of your brutal honesty when you let us know how weary and exhausted you are. When I see a little glimmer of that resilience, it is awe inspiring. Thank you for sharing. :)

Sent by cv | 12:36 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy, There is a chance we take when we fight. Granted the risk is less than death, but it is none the less risk. We pay in one way or another to survive, I don't mind the price, as the alternative is well--- not so good. So hang in there, after all you want to enjoy the Fall. These prices we pay are worth it. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:59 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy, you will win this race!

Vick- Hudson, FL

Sent by Vicki Hull | 1:04 PM ET | 11-09-2007

As long as you are still in the race, hoping for normal is natural and I believe will occur. I'm waiting for the sleepiness and coughing to go away to get back to my normal. We just have to be patient. You have made such progress so be proud of that. Have a good weekend and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. God Bless.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 1:12 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy, this is my first post since I started reading your blog daily about 6 months ago, the day after the Ted Koppel interview. I am so touched by the positive nature of your writings. At the end, in the middle or at the beginning of each blog you remain so positive, and I take that with me throughout the day. I pray for you, Laurie, and all the rest of us who fight cancer on a daily, hourly, and sometimes minute by minute basis. I have recurrent lung cancer and started my cancer journey about 5 years ago. I just want to say Thank you for making it a little easier, and enjoyable (and sometimes downright hilarious)for all of us!
Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Take good care, Donna

Sent by Donna Lajoy | 2:04 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy:
If you're body is not bumped and bruised you've really not lived, you've just existed. I'm sure that you, and the rest of us, would rather that it wasn't Cancer that did the "rubbin". However, you could say that we have lived life to the fullest.
Love, Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 2:34 PM ET | 11-09-2007

I have this vision of you going slowly up the stairs and thousands of your blog followers standing at the bottom of the staircase wildly cheering you on. Best wishes, Jill in New Zealand

Sent by Jill | 2:56 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Dear Leroy!
Have a good weekend---full rest, love and laughter. Take care..xox dee

Sent by dee | 3:14 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy
Keep fighting my friend. You'll finish the race.
Mary Scruggs
Cypress, TX

Sent by Mary Scruggs | 3:18 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy,
Your feelings are real and ok, given everything you've gone through. I hope you can get some rest, my friend. Lack of sleep has to be the worst. As always, my thoughts are with you and Laurie.

Take good care!

Sent by betsey kuzia | 3:32 PM ET | 11-09-2007

In this race, even coasting slowly on the berm is good. You are moving in the right direction and that's all that matters for now. You'll pick up speed soon enough.

Sent by Scott Fertig | 3:51 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy, you sound like you are at the bottom, you know what that means - the only way is up. It will get better, surgery knocks the pins out from under us, and to have two on the spine in a short time is more than enough. You have all the courage and fortunately a short memory for your initial surgery and the chemo. All my best to you, feel better.

Sent by Rita | 6:17 PM ET | 11-09-2007

No race Leroy, ok? I am tired of hearing about "the race" Is it the "human Race" everyone is speaking of?
I just want to wish you a slow, steady, recuperation back to a point where life is good once again for you. Freedom from intense pain, being able to enjoy your loved ones, looking forward to small pleasures. That is what I wish for you. No races, not at this point anyway. No need to rush.
Happy week-end!

Sent by J C R | 7:55 PM ET | 11-09-2007

When i was a healthy 20 something, I would hear my grandparents say things like "Just be glad you have your health". If someone were having a baby, they would say " I don't care what the gender is, as long as it's healthy". These comments all seemed so silly to me. Until I woke up one day and became a cancer patient.Now as I approach my 49th birthday and I have faced cancer 2 times in 4 years, I have to admit..I am so glad my kids are healthy and I realize , you've got nothing without your health.
Love to you all,
Liz

Sent by liz zimmerman | 8:37 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Leroy - you're in my thoughts and prayers everyday. I hope tonight you get a good nights sleep that will help refresh you and your spirt.

Sent by Mary Egan Dufault | 9:15 PM ET | 11-09-2007

I am late in posting today, but what stands out is that you are loved, cherished, admired, and appreciated by all of us. I want that to ease your struggles somehow.

Sent by Mary Sullivan | 9:26 PM ET | 11-09-2007

Hi Leroy and Laurie,

You've had some big blows to the body lately, my dear. I agree with Scott, you are moving in the right direction....and you are still in the race. And remember, we love you no matter what condition you're in!

Love and peace to all...

Sent by Faun | 6:14 AM ET | 11-10-2007

From the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. A discussion in the nursery after the children have gone to bed.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Wendy

Sent by Wendy | 10:09 AM ET | 11-10-2007

Leroy- All the best to you. Your words connect so well with a great attitude for LIFE. As I go through chemo and radiation for CNS Lymphoma, your column is part of what helps me keep up the fight. Many thanks, Steven

Sent by Steven Butler | 12:09 PM ET | 11-10-2007

Dearest Leroy,

You don't know me from Adam, but I feel comfortable enough to call you by first name. I've intermittently followed your blog for over a year, amazed and comforted by the similarities between your story and that of my stepfather's. Daddy lost the race this morning.
I just wanted to say thank you from the deepest part of my soul for starting this blog because it has helped me, as it has so many others, grasp some kind of understanding through all this. You and Dad were very alike, though he was not a writer, and a little less able to express himself the way you have. But I felt I had a window into all he would not say by reading your blog, and words simply cannot express how valuable that has been for me.
Stay in that race as long as you can! Your words have been an inspiration and solace for me, and will continue to be even as I grieve. Thank you, thank you.

Sent by Angie Gilbert | 2:24 PM ET | 11-10-2007

Hi Leroy,

I completely agree that it is hard to look in the mirror and have constant reminder of what cancer has done.

Since I was diagnosed with a clivus chordoma at the base of my skull in 1999, I have had 3 brain surgeries and tons of radiation (proton beam, gamma knife three times, and IMRT radiation). It was July of this year that I had my third brain tumor surgery and just two months ago that I finished an aggressive treatment of IMRT radiation.

I look in the mirror at the right side of my face and it looks just the same as it did prior to 1999 - the perfect 25 year old me without cancer. The other side of my face shows a blind eye that had to sewn closed as it was so painful from the lack of tears (so I have to wear an eye patch - that is great for Halloween but not much else!). My hair is falling out from the recent radiation. And also I have no feeling in the right side of my face and have no way of raising my right eyebrow. Sometimes, I play a game to myself, by covering one side of my face and then the other and saying "me with cancer, me without cancer." It is hard to be positive when everytime I look in the mirror, or see my reflection, I am reminded of the difficult ride I have been on.

We love you Leroy. Thank you for letting us connect to you in a way that no one who isn't living with cancer would understand.

Samantha

Sent by Samantha | 9:18 PM ET | 11-10-2007

Leroy,
I've been dealing with advanced ovarian cancer for the past five years. This year, in particular, has been horrendous. I couldn't eat for three months and survived on TPN. For someone who absolutely loves to eat, it was pure torture.

I spent five months with a stomach tube which I finally had removed two weeks ago.

I'm in constant pain and nausea. I'm using a painkiller patch but still have breakthrough pain.

I've had four major surgeries, 67 chemo treatments, 25 imrt radiation treatments and all manner of tests that come with the territory.

So who's counting? Me. I also keep thinking when will I be me again? When will I have one day of feeling well?

I just started blogging at cary-sblog.blogspot.com. Since I love to write, maybe it'll help me deal with how this cancer's progressing. I've gone through watercolor painting, cross-stitch, gardening and meditating. I'll try anything if it might help me cope with the treatments and the side effects.

You write so well about the frustrations, pain, fears and how you live with this disease. Thank you. And I understand.

Feel well soon.
Cary

Sent by Cary Vera-Garcia | 10:49 PM ET | 11-11-2007

Exhale and Inhale ???
Breathe in ??? Breathe out slowly
when pressure occurs
and you pain will be lessened.
Exhale and Inhale ??? Exhale ...

Sent by Viennese | 9:23 AM ET | 11-12-2007

leroy i started on your blog last aug when my husband started on his chem for colon cancer stage5 he had all the drugs you had he passed away aug24.your blog kept us going for the year we had. i keep praying for you and with gods help you will make it.

Sent by georgia | 9:53 PM ET | 11-12-2007