BRAVO ON THE STAIRS!!!!!! Huge victory...HUGE!!!

Praying you get some z's.

Hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 7:48 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,

Your walk up the stairs made me want to jump out of my seat in my cubicle and cheer! Reading those words finally made me realize how much into your recovery and well-being I am. I had no idea I could be so engrossed with someone I never met and probably will never meet.

While I certainly wish you a lot more rest than you're getting (I'm reminded that a watched pot never boils), I don't think I could be happier for you than if you were one of my relatives.

I like to think of you as my other brother from another mother.

Sent by Leonard | 7:53 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Making it upstairs is definately a victory! Maybe, you'll sleep better up there. One day at a time, Leroy. Hang in there.

Sent by Marilyn | 8:04 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Hi Leroy,
Excellent that you made it upstairs!!! Hopefully every few days you will have more functioning, feel more "normal". I also hate being up in the middle of the night, you feel like you are the only one in the world who is awake. Hang in there, the fact that you are home and doing better says volumes. I pray for you and everyone on the blog and their loved ones everyday,

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:07 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Yes, getting upstairs is a huge victory, like climbing a mountain, Leroy! Way to go!

Good sleep was one of the things I missed when I had cancer. I remember one night in particular where I slept about 7 straight hours, and woke up feeling like I had received the most incredible gift. I hope you feel better soon, and can sleep more as well. Hang in there.

Sent by Art Ritter | 8:07 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy:
I don't have cancer, but I'm an old hand at orthopedic surgery. As we have replaced or fused various joints, I have learned that sleep is essential for healing. Please take the advice of an old broad and either contact your doctor for sleeping medicines or take what she/he has already given you. Sometimes it takes a combination, so work with the protocol and give your doctor feedback. I can't take any pain meds as I react badly, but a muscle relaxant has helped enormously. This is one instance in which toughing it out runs counter to the healing process! Best of luck!

Sent by Sarah | 8:09 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Thats Great!!!!!! Good for you. It is a victory

Sent by Sarah | 8:21 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Morning Leroy,

Hang in there buddy...one day at a time...sleep deprevation can play havoc on the mind as well as the body.

Getting upstairs is quite the victory!

Sent by Faun | 8:22 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy, you are making progress! Most of us want recovery to be instantaneous, but that usually doesn't occur. The best advise ever given to me came from my chemo nurse, when I asked what I should "do" while I was in the chemo phase? She said - do exactly what your body tells you it needs. If you follow that advice you can't go wrong. Rest when it tells you it's time. You are doing well, Leroy, and we celebrate each small victory with you.

Sent by Martha in FL | 8:26 AM ET | 11-08-2007

I am also happy that you made it upstairs. The exhaustion is difficult, because it zaps your spirit and will. I wish I could help you there. I know that my mother who had never used any meds prior did use Ambien to sleep during her cancer fight. Between discomfort, pain, nausea, and anxiety, she had trouble sleeping, and the Ambien helped. I know, I know, folks will probably yell at me for suggesting it, and some folks have had weird side effects from it, but sleep is enormously and significantly therapeutic.

Sent by Mary | 8:30 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Hey Leroy
I don't know if you have any idea how many lives you are touching and changing by sharing your life. Thank you for your honesty and courage.

Sent by Annette | 8:30 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Well Leroy you have just answered one of my questions - as to how that back of your is working since you are home? Oh it is great to hear that you are not confined to watching Fall develop from your window. What progress you are making!
Today is my birthday and you make me feel like trying to paint a picture for the first time since having this stroke in April. I am learning to adapt to partial vision.
When those drains come out of your body you will probably be able to sleep or rest comfortably once again. Keep up the good news!

Sent by J C R | 8:31 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Bravo for making it up the stairs!
Leroy, The body does much healing when we reach "level 4" sleep.
I know that you do not like to take meds but perhaps for your physical and emotional healing would yo,discuss this possibility with your Doctor and take something just for this time and season in your life.?
My Rheumatoligist spoke these words to me and put me on an old ant-depressant that did not do much for depression but it was discovered that patient's received the restorative, restful sleep they needed to heal. It worked for me.
Love to you and Laurie.
Joyce

Sent by joyce | 8:32 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Yay! Whoopee! Yahoo! I look forward to hearing from you that your drains are out and that you had a good night's sleep. Finally

Sent by Ruth from Virginia | 8:42 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy! I wanted to cry when I read your blog re the stairs! How wonderful! Each new step is a step for the future.
Keep up the good work, we are all pulling for you! Vicki/Hudson Fl

Sent by Vicki Hull | 8:45 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Fantastic news Leroy....a MAJOR achievement. Keep up the good work.

I'm at a stage in my life right now where a good night's sleep is hard to get and I can relate to a lot of what you're describing. The doctor told me that even though I might be able to put together several hours of sleep over the course of the day, it does not really help the body the way deep, continuous sleep does. You could actually sleep on and off all day and be utterly exhausted because the sleep you get is not restorative. So, yes, I agree with the others. Take whatever will help you to achieve some good restorative and healing sleep during this difficult time and muscle relaxers do work well that way. There is nothing quite like the feeling of sinking into a deep, welcoming sleep. I wish that for you!!

Sent by betty obst | 8:55 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy:
As an alternative to bad TV try listening to meditation tapes/CD's. My wife used them to relax before and after her breast surgery.
Namaste,
Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 8:55 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy, listen to one of the Sarah's above and take something to help you sleep. If Ambien makes you feel weird (and I have an Ambien story that wouldn't believe) then take something else. There are plenty of medicines to help you sleep that don't make you do crazy things or feel like a stuffed animal.
Don't be "THAT GUY" who won't take something when it would help him.

Sent by Brit | 8:59 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Hi Leroy,
Can you hear the roar of support from those of us in your cheering section? The home team puts another score on the board!!

Sent by Sheara | 9:02 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Progress is often measured by small, even insignificant events. It would seem that you are certainly making great progress and getting upstairs is NOT an insignificant event. Perhaps now you can set as a goal, getting upstairs each day or every other day until it is no longer a challenge. Then look for other challenges which will enable you to continue to measure your progress towards healing.

As others have suggested, I would seek some help from whatever source...drugs are sometimes very necessary to help the healing..in order to get some good, sound and prolonged sleep. A rested body and mind will be able to more easily cope with the daily challenges. Ativan was a very good sleep inducer for me when going through chemo.

Prayers and blessings as always for you and Laurie.

Sent by Al Cato | 9:06 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,

Thank you for continuing to share your journey. When I first started reading your blog, you were a while into it and were feeling well enough to be insightful each morning. I enjoyed your thoughts, but I equally appreciate your honesty in sharing the less good times too. I haven't had the surgery you've had, but I have had drains in my back for months at a time, and it is very uncomfortable as you note. The fear of pulling them out, etc. really takes a large % of your brain space. I am glad you're making progress, but I also hear in your writing the frustration at how slow the progress is. Sometimes taking it one day at a time can be too long a chunk, mentally. I do wish you sleep, and I will add to the hopper the brilliance of Ativan (not that I'm a drug pusher, but it really worked for me during chemo). Whatever you do and however you get through, I wish you all the best.

Warmly,

Leslie

Sent by Leslie | 9:06 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Congratulations!! But, I agree with everyone else. Just take the sleep meds. The recovery will go faster if you allow your body to do what it needs to do. Your body really needs you to cooperate with it right now. Think short term strategy right now. My thoughts are with you daily.

Sent by Kathy B. | 9:11 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,

Stairs - this is huge. In a few days, you will be able to do it twice and it will continue to improve. The sleep will come. It took me several weeks to a get a full night rest after my surgery. It will come - I promise.
One day at a time. Keep moving.
Pat

Sent by Pat Sclafani | 9:13 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Glad to hear you got up the stairs. I am having the opposite problem - I can't stay awake. I am reading or on the computer and my eyelids shut - very frustrating. I believe your body will tell you what to do and when you fight it, it becomes more difficult. So as hard as it is try to focus on something other than sleep in order for that to come about to you naturally. I am sure it is very frustrating for you but I am equally sure that rest and healting will come to you. As Joyce said above - emotional and physical healing go hand in hand. Good luck, we are all praying for you.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 9:13 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy, there are many things I never imagined I would say, do, or feel before I had metastatic melanoma. I am going to give you a recommendation that enabled my friend with 'roid rage to sleep for several consecutive hours. She and I have found that listening to a meditation relaxation CD eases pain and minimizes insomnia. For fear of sounding like a pop-up ad, I won't mention any titles. I assume that most meditation-relaxation programs will work the same magic. My traditional doctor urged me to use meditation to boost my immune system, and that's how I got into the habit. Even though I came of age in the 60's, I am amazed to be passing along this advice. I only hope that it works for you. MSB

Sent by Marilyn | 9:24 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy, Kudos on the stairs ... and in time you will get back into your old sleep patterns and some A list movies.

Sheara - am I getting forgetful or what ... of course it was Napoleon! Thanks for that memory jog.

Sent by Pat Z. | 9:26 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy--that's the best news I've heard in a long time!!! As one of my girlfriends here at work says, "Woohoo"!!! I am truly happy for you! Now try to get some sleep!

As always, you're in my prayers!

Sent by Tess from KY | 9:26 AM ET | 11-08-2007

This was a day for celebration. You have definitely gained a major victory by going upstairs. Hang in there because you have now started the uphill climb to coming out on top. Congrats my friend. Hugs, Teresa

Sent by Teresa in WV | 9:26 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy, yay! to the stairs - must have felt like quite a victory. About the sleep thing - I'm sure I don't have anything to say that's different from your various and many doctors, and people who are close to you and know you better, but it seems like some kind of sleep aid might be a good thing. I had a tough time sleeping during various parts of my breast cancer treatment two years ago, and Ativan really helped me get through the sleepless times. Despite warnings of it being habit forming, it wasn't, and as one of my doctors said "Sleep is really important while you're healing!" Just some food for thought . . .

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 9:29 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Do you not have any pain med's??

Sent by Lou | 9:30 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Making it up the stairs is a definite victory - congratulations! Have you tried different kinds of pain meds to find one that suits you? My husband went through several before he found the one that would ease the pain, allow him to sleep soundly and not make him feel "drugged" (hydrocodone/APAP). It has made a huge difference in his quality of life and has helped him heal. (He's unable to use sleep aids - they give him strange side effects.)

I do hope you can find something that will allow your body to get the rest it so desperately needs to heal.

God bless you and Laurie.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 9:39 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,
You need to take care of the pain. After one of my surgeries, I finally had a nurse that helped me understand healing. One of the things she said that I have not forgotten is "Pain does not help you heal". True - being overmedicated is not good, or becoming dependent, but the pain is not helping your well-being either, is it? Forget the "No Pain No Gain" mantra - that doesn't work in this situation!

Having said that, congrats on your progress on the stairs!

Sent by Kelley E | 9:40 AM ET | 11-08-2007

I am one of the lucky ones. I am healthy - I haven't even had a cold in years but, of course, I don't know what tomorrow might bring. Because I have been so incredibly fortunate, I sometimes feel that I am intruding by reading, and looking forward to your blog each day. I appreciate your sharing your life with so many of us. I don't know if I could be as strong as you and Laurie, but I think that by getting to know you through your messages, I might have more strength if the day comes when my luck runs out. You are helping so many folks and so many are pulling for you. A trip up the steps? Congratulations! Take care and know that, as so many others have said, I send you love, and hopefully, strength. And, Laurie, because I also have been a caretaker, know that my love goes out to you as well.

Sent by Cindy in Virginia | 9:48 AM ET | 11-08-2007

HOORAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Getting someplace you haven't been in a month is GREAT !!! YOU are GREAT !!!! Keep up the great work! All our Good Thoughts are with you and all our hands are pushing your tushie UP those stairs!xox dee

Sent by dee | 9:53 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy -
Congratulations on making it up the stairs!
Do you ever listen to books on tape or cd? Somehow, for me, watching tv has some of the same undesirable side effects as the drugs - I think it makes me feel depressed and lethargic. But books on cd make me feel like I am exercising my brain, extending my imagination and participating in art and science and journalism - the world.
I check them out of the library, buy them at book stores, buy them off of Amazon, and download them onto my iPod - it seems these days there isn't a book I can't get as an audio book.

Sent by Jennifer | 9:53 AM ET | 11-08-2007

A little advice: Don't fall asleep climbing stairs.
Good to hear there is progress.

Sent by Sandi Li | 9:55 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Great news about the stairs. That's progress. Hoping you get some good restful sleep soon. Take care. We're all here for you.

Sent by Sandy Lathe | 9:57 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Your words, even when you are venting frustration, are inspiring. They remind me of the very thoughts I had when I was in midst of cancer treatment. I didn't like the way pain medicine made me feel either. Going through the day feeling groggy is just as frustrating as the pain. Maybe pain medicine every other day would allow you the rest you need. Thank you for this blog. You touch many people and you are inspiring in your determination to keep going and battling cancer with all you have. Prayers around the globe are being offered up on your behalf. One minute at a time is how we make it through cancer.

Sent by Judy Van Lishout | 9:58 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy - It has been less than a year for me when I faced the same kind of pain and insomina. I told the doctor after being in the hospital for over three weeks. I need a break from being me. I watched people walk effortlessly in and out of my room and I couldn't imagine what it felt like to be that free and unconcerned about getting out of bed, moving,sleeping, dressing etc. Life indeed telescopes forward - but I must admit I don't turn over in bed now without thinking about all those who can't. Stairs! is very fine progress!Peace.

Sent by Joy | 10:03 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Was very excited to hear about the stairs-way to go! Will pray for sleep for you, or better tv shows.

Sent by Jen | 10:09 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Good morning Leroy... and I do hope it's a good one for you. I can't relate to most of what you are experiencing, except for not sleeping. I've suffered from insomnia for many years, and there are days that I feel I'm running the Boston Marathon with the entire course being "heartbreak hill". So, my wish for you today is sleep. Blessed long wonderful periods of sleep.

Sent by Sharon | 10:17 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Two linked sleep deprivation stories from my life: Baby one was a horrible sleeper, two hour stretches at the most for a total of about 8 hours every 24. I almost went mad from no sleep--but we both survived the nine month ordeal. I hope your ordeal is shorter. Story 2:fast forward, child is now a senior in High School who is required to write an essay on what he is going to do over winter break. What does he write about? Glorious sleep! He went on for two pages describing how wonderful it will be to stay in bed and sleep. I guess that his body finally figured it out: hopefully your body will too. Townie

Sent by Townie | 10:18 AM ET | 11-08-2007

MAjor victory, Leroy. I hope they finish the roof soon so you'll at least have less noise in case you can catch a cat nap. Thanks for hanging in there and letting your body find its way through the healing process. Sleep will come again, and boy will it be sweet!

Sent by Sarah | 10:23 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,
I'm glad to hear you are moving a bit better. When I get long term problems like this, I start some simple and obsessive hobby. It's quite annoying to people around me so I try to do it out of sight. It can be a simple as drawing a rectangle on a nice long piece of paper. Use a ruler to mark off the rectangle into days until an event such as when the drains are removed. Then go back and add hours. Add quarter hours and so forth until it gets too hard to add more detail. Get a ruler and a ball point pen. Draw vertical lines to fill the rectangle and show progress to that milestone. When you can't sit up to do this, you will have something to do when you can sit up, but are still confused. Even the anticipation of doing something helps me.
I have had chronic insomnia for years, and I know the fatigue, confusion, and frustration that comes with it. When it is only moderately bad, I do something more complex like trying to learn to draw. Leaves make a nice first subject. For those times when I am just in pain, but my mental focus is good, I might pick up a book on fractal theory.
The key is to do something. Being occupied takes my mind off my troubles. Sometimes, drawing vertical lines is all I can accomplish, but it is better than being a lump of pain, confusion, and self pity. I consider this approach to be my non-prescription pain killer.
I hope it works for you -even if only a little bit.

best wishes

Sent by Gary | 10:24 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Great news about making it upstairs but I can imagine sleep deprivation making everything seem more difficult. If you have the chance to work with some medical enhancements for sleep take it. Peace

Sent by Dona | 10:44 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,

You really do need sleep to heal. I say, better living through chemistry. Please talk to your doc. If you haven't taken sleep meds before, it shouldn't require much to make you nod off.

GREAT news about the stairs. Loved hearing that.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:49 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Hip, Hip, Hooray! Conquering stairs again. That's a great thing.

When I did work in medical oncology, I told my patients if you need a nap during day take it. So, if you need naps to compensate for the lack of night sleep go for it, rest is rest, whether during the day or night. I agree when your body shuts down and lets you sleep you will sleep, but in the mean time.... catch what you can when you can.

:)

Sent by Susan Chap | 10:57 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy to get back your "SLEEP ROUTINE", You may ask for some Rehab excercises, these you do during the day and it stops the naps, You need to work your body hard during the day then at night it wants to rest and recover. Maybe a goal of going up stairs twice a day to start, then three times a day. Don't OVERDUE, but you have to get a routine re-established. Check with your doctors or Rehab techs. You are doing rehab???
I sympathize with you on the chest and back tubes, after Triple By pass surgery, it took a long time to find a comfortable position to sleep. I ended up on my stomach. Never slept that way before, but it worked for a while after surgery.
The Truth is you may never sleep like before your surgery. I still have trouble sleeping at times, Usually its the sneak nap after supper that gets me, so my wife was quite surprised the other night at 3 o'clock she smelled roasting Green Chiles, I could not sleep so I finished Roasting my Green chiles for a batch of Salsa.

Sent by Sam Means | 11:01 AM ET | 11-08-2007

thanks for sharing your victory over the stairs. I always find I Love Lucy will pick me up. Its not just the show, its the memory of simpler times. You are making progress Leroy and I hope you turn the corner soon!

Sent by cv | 11:03 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Just want you to that I'm thinking about you and praying that you get some sleep. Peace and love Becca

Sent by Rebecca Hawkins | 11:12 AM ET | 11-08-2007

You're moving in the right direction. Stairs!But I hope you will talk to your doctor about the pain and sleeplessness. Maybe, just maybe, a different medication might work better and let you get some rest. It can't hurt to ask.

Sent by Doris | 11:21 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Congratulations on the stair climbing! May it be the first of many Everests for you.

If there is any food that has ever made you feel sleepy, maybe you could try adding some at the right time and see if it makes a difference. Beware of caffeine. It can add up and really work against you.

Hooray, Leroy! I'm so happy that you are making progress after setbacks.

Sent by Celeste | 11:22 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy~ I remember when I couldn't sleep on my stomach after my surgery. Such small things we take for granted. I now appreciate rolling over in bed. I was wondering if you can take sleeping pills of some sort??

Sent by DiAnn | 11:33 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy - Congratuations on getting upstairs! And please ask your doctors for something to help you sleep. I'm sure they will give you a wide selection to choose from. Then try them and find one you like. I took one for months during chemo, etc. and had no problem stopping after. There are many excellent meds out there. Some of the pain meds really do wack you out. I remember having such weird dreams while taking Vicodin that the sleep it produced just wasn't worth it. Your body needs sleep to heal, so please ask for help.

Sent by Marcia | 11:41 AM ET | 11-08-2007

I read your blog almost every day & simply don't know what to say. You are incredibly inspiring & I don't know how you keep up this site, along w/your spirits. Know that I wish you well - on a daily basis - whether you have ESP, or not.

You have so much invested at this point that failure is NOT an option.

The best to you. Joan P

Sent by Joan P | 11:45 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy:
Congrats on the stairs - keep at it!

Solution for bad TV: DVD's of TV shoes which make you laugh. Someone suggested I Love Lucy, I also like Mash or numerous other oldies but goodies.

Solution for pain/lack of sleep: Many others on this blog gave suggestions which sound worth trying so I will just encourage you to give them a try, i.e. more/different meds or medication CD's, etc.

We're still 'out there' sending you encouraging vibes and prayers. You and Laurie take care.

Brenda from Hoosier-land

Sent by Brenda M. White | 11:47 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Hi Leroy,

I had a surgery (hiatal hernia) before cancer diagnosis (kidney cancer). I remember being so sick and weak that I was afraid that I was not going to get back to normal. Now I know that my surgery cannot be compared to your surgery in terms of recovery. You certainly will take longer to recover. But my point is that all of a sudden I got up one morning and felt better and next day better!! Walking upstairs is certainly headed in the right direction. Even though I don't post every day, I check on you and my cancer family first thing every morning.

Know what you mean about the roof. We had a new roof put on about a year ago and it would not be a good time to be recovering!! Hopefully yours will be finished soon.

Again, my warmest thanks for bringing together this wonderful family of friends!! It gives me so much peace and comfort. My family enjoys hearing the news also.

Love to all,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty Lewis | 11:49 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy, It is all about baby steps, I know this does not particularly work well for you, but that is the game at this point. The small things you can check off, like climbing the stairs, bring you more strength. It is the strength that will eventually bring you back, but it takes time to get it back. Don't worry it will come. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:13 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Aah, sleep...."Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care..." The Old Bard knew what he was talking about, didn't he?

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 12:29 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Of course that counts as a victory!

I had trouble sleeping when I had massive doses of steroids during my first bout of chemo. They gave me Atavin. I had no trouble sleeping with that, and I wasn't groggy waking up. It works well.

We are all pulling for you.

Sent by Scott S. | 12:56 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
Congrats on making it up the stairs...I know everyone is giving you advise on pain meds, and I am going to give you my 2 cents. TAKE THE PAIN MEDS! I refused them for a very long time because my brother died of an overdose of pills. He was an addict..we are not. I have stage IV NHL and living in pain was not being brave or valiant. It was torture and I could not sleep. Finally my doctor convinced me to take the meds because pain can get out of control and it effects everything. Your sleep and your interaction with others. The post on meditation tape is good too. Turn the TV off...it only keeps your mind active and you need to rest. Okay I am done being mother hen.

Sent by Miriam | 1:00 PM ET | 11-08-2007

being able to climb those stairs is Huge, I also live in a two story home and after my melanoma surgery on my leg
that was the one thing I aspired to, so climbing that mountain made my day, and week. Congratulatons, Kathy P

Sent by Kathy Peacock | 1:18 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Dear Leroy,

I imagine having a drain in your back would damage anyone's sleep. I have no answers, except what others have said: Keep trying medication till you find one that helps - there's GOT to be something where the benefits outweigh the side effects. I long for the day that you will have your tubes out and you can jump into a fluffy bed and sleep for 14 hours at a stretch. What a blessing that so many take for granted. In the meantime, hang in there - you are loved. Stairs? Amen! Bless you and everyone, as always.

Sent by Connie E. | 1:25 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Your ability to make lemonade out of lemons, so to speak, is awesome. I think it also helps with the physical/mental healing process. Best wishes

Sent by Anne | 2:07 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Walking up the stairs for the first time in a month is awesome Leroy~~how well I remember. You had major surgery and time is truly the healer. I remember nights being very difficult as well and since sleep is such an important factor, I ended up having to take something to help with that.

When the days became too much to handle, my Mom would always be there with positive words of encouragement. I just dont know how I would have gotten through such a difficult time without my family and friends. You have so many people who care about you Leroy, I pray that you will be well soon.

Warm hugs
Robin T
CT

Sent by Robin T | 2:24 PM ET | 11-08-2007

That IS a huge victory, congrats leroy!

i remember when my neuropathy was bad enough where i couldnt run, only walk fast, and barely that sometimes, so now i can run if i need to and its huge. Doing the things we took for granted before, again, is a big deal.
yea leroy!

jenn from maine

Sent by Jenn | 2:51 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Great about the stairs! Now about sleep, I don't get the deep sleep that I used to get before the cancer. I do fall asleep on the couch watching old movies with my husband late at night. Last night I was able to sleep soundly in my own bed for about 3 hours. That was a great victory for me. I then got up and laid down in the living room and watched Philo Vance movies on TMC. I also used my new toy to relax. It's a personal throw sized electric blanket. It is wonderful. The heat really helps relax me and deal with any pain. You might want to check these out.

In any event, making it up the stairs is a great victory. Don't worry about being still concerned over your recovery. I feel fine today but I'm having some depression. You will also. It's just human nature. Let's be kind to ourselves.

You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Carol M | 2:54 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Hey Leroy,

I've been reading your daily progress and just want you to take a moment to realize how far you have come!

On the sleep thing, they have some very good medicine these days to help. Ambien sure got me through some rough times during chemo.

Sent by Karen D. | 3:03 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Congratulations Leroy, that trip up those stairs is a beginning. You are really on your way back. Everyday should give you more strength. It may seem very slow but you are on your way. I hope you will be able to get more sleep soon. Don't be afraid to talk to Dr. about the sleep issue. We are all with you.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 3:16 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
I too, have been following this blog. Found it while looking for real people talking about their cancer. My biopsy came back negative but you hooked me!!
Do what the dr's tell you to do, take the meds. Sleep little lamb. It will regenerate so many parts of you. Bless your and yours.

Sent by Kristin | 3:46 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Hooray for you, Leroy. Great that you went up the stairs today! You have wonderful doctors. I am so impressed with how creative they are. I am sure they can come up with good sleep meds for you. YOu are in my prayers.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:49 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy:
I agree with Jennifer about Books On Tape. You can even download them from state libraries to your MP3 player or the computer. All it takes in KS is a State library card.

Only down side is actually going to sleep during the tape and having to find where you left off. It works for me even now and Burge's cat is becoming quite literate, too. She is just finishing Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. :>)

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 4:54 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Absolutely a victory! Be Blessed!

Sent by karen | 5:09 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,

Congarats on the stairs. I remember after my surgery, I was not allowed to stairs either. But neither place was an ideal month long location. So, I spent one day upstairs, the next day downstairs, as soon as I felt like moving.

I have to agree with all of the others urging you to do whatever it takes for you to get at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. It's crucial for HGH (the good kind we make all by ourselves) secretion. This is the stuff that repairs the broken and allows the disrrupted to heal. Unfortunately, as we age, we don't produce the vast quantities we did when we were young, so we need to take all we can get. Personally, I didn't like the way my pain medications made me feel either, but in the long run, the added sleep made all the difference in the world in my recovery time.

Remember, all this is temporary, even though right now it doesn't feel as so.

Sent by Teri Thomas | 5:19 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Dear Leroy, I think that sleep in the days after surgery is often a big problem. My theory is that the assault on the body, the anesthesia and the medications wreak havoc with our systems. I came home from the hospital after recent surgery and felt wired for a number of days. Though I could fall asleep easily at night, it was hard to stay asleep, and daytime sleep did not come easily. Unless it is medically contraindicated, it seems to me that this is the time to use a sleep aid. The sleep is healing, and it is such a relief to know that you have slept through the night. You feel better in the morning. I hope that you soon find a peaceful and rejuvenating night's sleep.

Sent by Linda | 5:21 PM ET | 11-08-2007

The shuttle had a safe mission and a safe landing and you made it up the stairs. In my book those are equal accomplishments given that tortured body of yours. A hearty heartfelt congratulations on that feat. There will be more successes as you heal. Patience is the hard part. You know the old punchline, "I want patience and I want it right now."

As to the sleep issue, I almost put a suggestion in my post last night, but now it actually seems more timely and might help, I hope. You may have already tried it since I do not really know you and your family. At this point in your sleep deprivation any relaxation technique is fair game.

There are actually two methods of guided relaxation; 1) guided muscle relaxation or 2) guided imagery. A family member with a soothing voice can help you do either or both. Hopefully your body is tired enough that either will help.

Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate only on the voice and the guidance as you become aware and relax each set of muscles as you travel from the top of your head to your feet and toes. Sometimes this one takes practice, but is worth a try.

The guided imagery method is mentally creating either an imagined or actual physical setting in your mind where you would feel or have felt totally peaceful. Your vocal guide will take you to that place. You just have to imagine yourself there and try to feel the peace and relaxation that might bring drowsiness.

Here's hoping you find more than just a cat nap.

Bobbie in Texas

Sent by Bobbie Hollis | 5:23 PM ET | 11-08-2007

TAKE THE SLEEPING PILLS! I am a pharmacist. Trust me, you won't be hitting up your local drug dealer for your next hit of Ambien. Get your sleep so your body may heal. My thoughts are with you.

Sent by Ruth W. RPh | 5:40 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Congratulations on making it up the stairs. I hope a good night's sleep is the next triumph (and I'd second the suggestion to try relaxation techniques if you have not already done so).

Sent by N.R. | 6:44 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Making it upstairs is a victory. One of my victories was being able to take a much needed shower. It's funny how things you don't ever think about in your "regular life" become milestones in your "real life".

The journey is made of small steps. We all know that now. This is a big small step.

Sleep was a refuge for me. It offered an escape from the never ending soul searching and stress of being sick. Probably 99 out of 100 psychologists would say that was unhealthy. Whatever. All I knew was sleep was a much needed refuge and I wasn't asking any questions beyond that.

Keep holdin on.

Sent by Dave U. | 6:44 PM ET | 11-08-2007

LeRoy, hang in there ! take your success, like the stairs, as they come, even in small doses. We are all praying for you to heal and get the rest that you need. Thanks for continuing to share your insights with us, even though you are feeling lousy. You are a special man.

Sent by Lou Loggi | 7:02 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy--great victory on the stairs! May I share with you that sleep isn't all that it's "cracked up to be". I have insomnia at times. Try to relax on your most comfortable bed, with quiet and music(if preferred).Work on relaxing every part of your body. Have you tried any alternatives? ie.massage, reflexology) They help! You're in my prayers!! Nancy

Sent by Nancy McNamara | 7:12 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy- you make me think of Jack Nicholson in Something's Gotta Give. If you haven't seen it rent it. And isn't it time to see Harold and Maude again ? I am so so glad you're making progress- for a few days I was afraid to read your blog- you are definately on the mend.

Sent by linda h. | 7:34 PM ET | 11-08-2007

OK, here's a hint about how to get some sleep. Forget bad TV. You must read a dry history book!
Try it!

Sent by Hilary | 7:46 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Atavan or some other antianxiety med can help with relaxation and sleep. PLEASE keep trying to get the right combo that will work for you - the longer you are sleepless and in pain, the more depressed you will feel and the more your body will have to fight to heal. If you make your peace with the notion that you might be out of it for a day or so, you could take what you need to get pain relief and rest - then back off as you get your strength back. I am concerned that with such a drawn out period of suffering and distress with no relief you may get too tired to keep fighting. And although that certainly is your right to do, we are all pulling for you and hope you can continue the battle- God bless!

Sent by CaroleD | 8:07 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy,

I hope you are communicating with your doctor about your lack of sleep. He/She really needs to get on the ball and help you with this. I'm very happy for your accomplishment of getting upstairs! That's very encouraging. You have a lot of people truly caring for you. Thank you for all you do for all of us - even those of us who don't have cancer but care so much about you.

Sent by Carol | 8:22 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Dear Leroy, It's such an obvious question but can't you have a sleep aid? Being a post-menapausal woman I would never sleep without assistance. I'm sorry you have to be awake to feel every ache. I didn't catch your comments about bad t.v. but I'm convinced it actually makes me stupid. Salee

Sent by salee | 10:34 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Leroy

Would it be possible for you have a physical therapist come to your home? It is a positive activity and a good physical therapist may be able to help you head off other problems that result from inactivity. We had a very good guy and even though my husband???s cancer was terminal, the physical therapist gave good attention and made Joe feel better. This guy said as long as your mind works I can help you and he was very right about that. We didn???t even ask for this help but one day ran into the guy in our family doctor???s office and he volunteered. He was a true gift for Joe.

Sent by Irene | 1:57 AM ET | 11-09-2007

When fighting this fight, it's all about the small victories. Making it upstairs sure is a big one! Hang in there. Many of us have been in your position before, wishing for that never-ending night to give way to the day, trying to get some sleep and hating the catch-22 situation with the sleeping pills (sleep v. feel awful all day). Oh, yes, and hating those infomercials! Stay strong Leroy. You are an inspiration to many of us.

Sent by Juan Pablo Martinez | 4:35 PM ET | 11-10-2007

I empathize with your struggle to sleep. I've been a chronic insomniac for years and often complain about it. Now I realize that I am fortunate that there is no physical cause like the struggle that you are enduring. Sleep is a blessing especially when you are ill.

Sent by Janet Cochran | 9:34 AM ET | 11-11-2007