After long anticipation, perhaps your healing process has turned a corner. We don't expect deep thoughts from you everyday. Please know that. In our "C" world, concern and caring take on a deeper definition and become the drivers in our life. (Perhaps we should call this the "3C" world.) Live strong and focus on your healing.

Sent by Kathy B. | 10:09 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Nights are the worst! I remember well what it was like trying to sleep sitting up for months on end and being so full of high doses of Prednisone that I wanted to jump out of my skin. I was thankful that the cable company had a feature where I could view "Sex and the City" reruns all night long. I already knew the stories so I didn't concentrate too hard on the show and sometimes fell back to sleep for an hour or two. 3 am was also a good time to eat cereal. LOL.

Hope your nights get better.

Hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori Levin | 10:17 AM ET | 11-07-2007

We have the Avengers (65-67) and all the Monty Pythons on DVD. Would you like to borrow them? Escapism at its best.

Sent by Robin | 10:38 AM ET | 11-07-2007

I take pain medicine and that seems to help me sleep. I'm glad you have TV, my husband also finds that a sleep aid. Things will be much better when you get those tubes out - I remember vividly how difficult it was with those in me. I just couldn't get comfortable. You don't need to write or think "deep thoughts". I personally cannot find any right now either. Just BE as we are here for you.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 10:43 AM ET | 11-07-2007

I describe my sleepless nights and fighting with my bed. The nights I end up in the living room with the TV on, is a victory for the bed. I find old movies help, I usually find some relief in a couple of hours of sleep on the couch or my chair. Although I don't have drains or pain (always), I do occasionally hit a wall and can't sleep. You are not alone in that.

Hang in there, Leroy.

Sent by Sue Chap | 10:45 AM ET | 11-07-2007

What ever it takes to get you through the night, do it. Keep up the healing. We're all still with you!

Sent by Laura | 10:51 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Sign up for Netflix. You can get some really engrossing DVDs that will take your mind off insomnia and everything else. Just load one in the machine before you go to bed, so all you have to do when you wake up is push some buttons with the remote.

Sent by Celeste | 10:54 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy, what better companions at night than Mr. Solo and Ilya Kuryakin (spelling doesn't count). I don't think I remember or even if Mr. Solo's first name was ever disclosed in the series. Well, it did the trick for you. I keep you in my intentions and wish a speedy recovery so that you are more yourself.

Sent by Pat Z | 10:58 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Hoo-ray! That's a great milestone.

Sent by Nichole | 11:03 AM ET | 11-07-2007

It's so good to hear that you can relax and let yourself be distracted for awhile now, by a cheesy movie or whatever.That's progress! Forget about the deep thoughts; we all need to lighten up sometimes. Your sense of humor and honest, down-to-earth comments on the curves life keeps sending you do us all a world of good.

Sent by Doris | 11:08 AM ET | 11-07-2007

You sound a little emotionally down, yet somehow stronger overall, Leroy. That's gotta be good news. Who knew the healing power of Robert Vaughn and Ilya Kuryakin?

Your Canadian supporter,
Nancy

Sent by Nancy | 11:19 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy, I know this is besides the point... but speaking of wanting to take your mind off things and watch TV, you should get Comcast's DVR or TIVO or whatever the similar brand is in your neck of the woods there. Its like a hard drive for your computer but it stores TV shows instead. I swear, that's the only way I got through the long days of recovering from my chemo. I had to have something that would keep me engaged! And there's nothing worse than watching something boring just to watch TV! This way, you can watch all your favorite TV shows with out commercials, whenever you want! Try it, maybe your pain will disappear! (Well, you know what I mean.) Hang in there, you are doing awesome, and you are an inspiration to everyone!

Sent by Christina | 11:24 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Hi, Leroy

I have a suggestion for your middle-of-the-night entertainment. How about some humor therapy, DVDs of TV shows or movies that will make you laugh. There's no need to be dependent on what the TV networks happen to be offering in the wee hours.

Sent by Julie | 11:40 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Hello Leroy et al..
Cancer has a way of forcing you to be in the moment especially when you are experiencing side effects of some kind..no deep thoughts, no planning for the future, simply trying to get through the day.. i have found it interesting experience..

As some of the others have already stated, it is a good time to sign up for netflix or tivo and watch some series that you haven't had time for... I don't know if you watch hbo but some of their shows are great--deadwood, the wire, rome... any of these will transport you to another life and the writing and acting are amazing...

hang in there.. we are rooting for you...

Sent by Yvette | 11:47 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy,

I believe healing goes faster if you AREN'T thinking deep thoughts! Go where you need to go in your head - without apology.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:58 AM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy - I hope you take this in the spirit it was meant - but I have to laugh when I hear of a man suffering what it's like to me a middle-aged woman - waking up in the middle of the night. I suppose hot flashes aren't as bad as pain, drains, etc., but still. Hang in there guy, it'll get better.

Sent by Marcia | 12:02 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Pat Z - How could you forget "Napoleon Solo?"

Sent by Sheara | 12:20 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy - no shame in that - TV helps people to relax by distracting them from the deep thoughts. I know your mind is way ahead of your body right now and its frustrating, making you impatient, etc., but you really are doing awesome. Frustrated or not, you really are living strong. I'm proud of you and inspired. Have a beautiful day and know that we're all in your corner. floating much strength and love your way.

Sent by liz h | 12:22 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Joe and I watched one of the Little Brittain series, a Brittish comedy sitcom. He loved Andy in his wheelchair and the way he played his care giver. Really funny.

Hope you feel better soon. How about trading the drugs for a glass of good wine.

Sent by Irene | 12:29 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Hey Leroy,
I loved the Man from U.N.C.L.E. -it was one of my favorites. Thank God for Cable!!! Back in the late seventies when I had my first child we didn't have it yet and TV went off the air...dead air no thing but that pattern! Remember those days??!
Those were year long nights!!
I love NETFLIX. They have some great old stuff and all of the new stuff.
Thinking of you and hearing the theme song in my head!

Sent by Deb | 12:32 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy, it sounds like you have much company in the middle of the night. My husband is awake many nights most of the night. He keeps tv going all the time. This seems to give some comfort even at times when just reruns are on. I think he doesn't have to think then but it gets him through the still dark nights. At times when he dozes I will turn sound off but leave picture on, as I think even the light from tv gives him some comfort.

I agree you are sounding stronger everyday; even though I am sure it seems like the time is dragging. Keep the mind light. Just get through this time. We appreciate you so very much. Good wishes to Laurie too and give her a big hug. I am sure she can use one!

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 12:46 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. took your pain away??? More likely, it put you to sleep. Good to sense the smile in your comments, it may be a small smile, but it sounds good. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 1:09 PM ET | 11-07-2007

My husband and I have bought a number of collections of old movies - film noir and really old westerns. We watch these late at night and they put me right to sleep. I've found it almost impossible to sleep in my bed since my cancer diagnosis. When we don't watch those, we watch Turner Classic Movies.

So you are on the right track, use your TV to distract you and put you to sleep.

Sent by Carol M | 1:16 PM ET | 11-07-2007

i woke up early this am and could not sleep. i thought of you Leroy because I know you have many uncomfortable hours. I have known those sleepless, pain filled times too and send my prayers for you. I also was grateful my sleeplessness was temporary; and always remember to enjoy the present.

Sent by cv | 1:35 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Funny how often we dwell in the mundane, in the midst of this profound experience. Rocky and Bullwinkle is about as deep as I want at times like these. Insight tomorrow - comedy tonight! All good thoughts headed your way, Leroy.

Sent by jeh | 2:04 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Good Afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, I can remember those long post-op nights that seemed to last forever! I would get up and roam around the house and sometimes answer E-Mail. But within a few weeks sleep improved. One hint, don't take long late afternoon naps, that does interfer with good sleep at night. A little "Cat Nap" is ok. As for The Man From UNCLE. I just saw two episodes yesterday, loved them before and loved them again yesterday too! Leroy, any way that you can escape all you have been through, even for a little while, is well worth the effort to do so.

Laurie, I hope you are finding ways to escape for some time too. The constant pressure that you both have been under can really wring you dry. You need some "Wiggle room."

To All, It is so good to see everyone's tone is brighter as thoughts turn more to recovery and humor. YES!!
God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC.

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 2:08 PM ET | 11-07-2007

shear boredom coupled with pain ..no escape...hmmmm....sounds like a really pathetic novel...that was me last year at this time...drains,pain,bad bad tv....life wasn't fun at all...how do you escape...it must have been my will to live .

Sent by marianne dalton | 2:10 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

I'm right there with you. Every night is like ground hog day. I'll wake up at between 1:00 and 4:00 AM and won't be able to get back to sleep for 2 - 3 hours. I usually spend the time catching up on e-mails (from friends, work is a distant memory). One of my friends live in Europe, so sometimes they're up at that time of day and we can trade e-mails. I also got a new TV just before my last surgery 3 weeks ago. TiVo comes in handy as well. Who wants to look at 5 minutes of commercials every 5 to 10 minutes? Although, in my altered state, they don't bother me as much as they used to.

It sounds like you are recovering, no matter how slowly. That is a great thing.

Take care,
Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 2:27 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Netflix, TiVo, and my macintosh computer, three essentials to a bearable cancer life! Don't get me wrong, I love the company of my husband, daughter, friends and family, but in those dark hours, when everyone else is asleep, you need the distraction. So enjoy every lame TV show there ever was! It's OK now, we all do it! Hang in there, dear Leroy, you are making progress, and we are all here cheering you on.

Sent by Karen K. | 2:40 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Hi Leroy. I sometimes have the same problem, especially since the stroke, I have been thinking of those "talking books" that so many of my old friends talk about. With ear phones, it might be relaxing to listen to some of the old classics, which I should have or have forgotten, read by some of the great actors with their rich voices. Think it just might induce sleep. I know that Garrison Kieler on before Morning Edition, can put me right back to sleep with his wonderful voice. What about you Leroy? Movies on TV hurt my poor eyes these days sine the stroke damaged them.

Sent by J C R | 3:00 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

I'm glad that you're not thinking deep thoughts in the middle of the night. Since the onset of my husband's cancer, the TV has been our best companion.............better to watch TV than think deep thoughts............deep thoughts can get very dark.

Stay well dear friend. Prayers to you and Laurie.

Sent by sasha | 3:27 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Hi Leroy,

I just want to send a note of thanks for all you have written. Whether you find yourself in a given moment daunted or undaunted, your messages are always strong and thoughtful.

Many of us, I'm sure, just read and don't post, but silent appreciation and support doesn't reach you, so here you go.

keep on,

Jay

Sent by Jay Allison | 3:47 PM ET | 11-07-2007

I love reading your daily blogs. It's those mundane, everyday things like leaves and roofs being built that makes you "average". LOL!

Sent by Beth H. | 5:21 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Yeah, the nights are the worst. I've become somewhat nocturnal. And I've seen some really bizarre infomercials. Glad you ran across some decent TV, though. That can be a challenge! Take care, you're in my prayers.

Sent by Lisa Lindstrom | 5:29 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy, I always thought that sleep interuption was one of the toughest parts of chemo/cancer...glad you found something to help, even if it is cheesey movies!

Sent by beth | 5:38 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Yes, nights can be so long! They were the worst part of my prolonged hospital stay. I found more help with over-night radio than with TV, however. For one thing, you don't have to have your eyes open, trying to focus (often hard to get the right position to do that in bed). Also, if you are actually trying to go back to sleep, quiet radio music (classic, religious, etc) can be very soothing. If it's just white noise that you need, turn on BBC at a low volume so that you aren't really listening or concentrating. Just ideas that help me.

As far as pain goes, have you tried methadone? It doesn't make me feel "wierd" but sure helped my pain. (I do realize that eveyone's different.)

Know that so many of us care about you!

Sent by Carol | 6:58 PM ET | 11-07-2007

My husband has the tv on practically 24/7 and his drug of choice is what some call "The Hitler Channel" -- WWII is a constant backdrop. Military Channel factors in, along with (and this is NOT a plug!) watching and rewatching the entire Ken Burns opus. I swear I know all there is to know about the Sikorski helicopter and certain battles. He's gone through 3 "bulbs" in our HD TV in as many years. You are NOT alone in this...

Sent by Teri | 7:18 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Dear Leroy,

Oh the irony of it all! I complain heavily about how bad tv is when I'm feeling well...but I could not have survived the many nights up and sleepless without the television. It is the one companion you can count on at 3am.

I say forget about thinking much at all for now, and arm yourself with the biggest arsenal of good and bad shows at your disposal (glad you bought the new tv)...anything for the distraction!

Sending love and hugs to you and Laurie...

Sent by Faun | 7:22 PM ET | 11-07-2007

The ninth season of Seinfeld comes out in DVD next week !! Six Feet Under and House Doctor are two apparently great tv series that friends highly recommended to me, and Netflik has both.

I've started Xeloda today after a chemo holiday of three months, and am always nervous at the very beginning of a new kind of chemo...as in, what will this drug do to me? Will it make me very sick? Etc. If I start worrying too much or getting scared it of course keeps me awake. If I waken tonight I'll pray for you and everyone who has cancer, or pain, or any great burden to bear.

Regards from Nancy O

Sent by Nancy Oliveri | 8:01 PM ET | 11-07-2007

Leroy

I know it seems impossible, but you will get your life back. I've seen it happen over and over again.

Art

Sent by Art | 8:37 PM ET | 11-07-2007

A break from deep insights is in order, and any pleasure and relaxation you can find in little things are enough for now. Positive healing thoughts will always be sent your way even if they seem to travel slowly.

Sent by Karen | 9:50 PM ET | 11-07-2007

I'd second Carol's thoughts on the radio. When our son was an infant, we left on the local public radio station that went to BBC in the overnight hours. There's something soothing about the programming - it put both of us back to sleep.

A personal thanks for making my day better today. I checked the blog on the sly during a business meeting that was not going well. The quick "fix" of Leroy set me back on the right track.

Keep your chin up!

Sent by Marie | 12:15 AM ET | 11-08-2007

It is a wicked fact that pain seems to increase when darkness and sleeptime arrive and the effort to find elusive sleep seems to magnify the pain and/or medical device discomfort. Trying to get to sleep becomes a marathon.

The best thing you can do is divert your brain's attention. If that means adding a few old movies, sitcoms, or whatever to your pain medications, I say do what works.

God bless us every one,
Bobbie

Sent by Bobbie in Texas | 2:14 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Dear Leroy,
I read your blog every night. And I am always fascinated with your gifted writing skills.
It doesn't matter if you want to think deep thoughts or not, it is always a joy to hear from you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Please continue writing. You are an inspiration to all of us.
Neide from Brazil

Sent by Neide Tichy | 2:44 AM ET | 11-08-2007

Yea for you. Even a little pain relief has to be huge. Keep watching those late night reruns. Hope another one of your old favorites will marathon soon.

Sent by Sandy Morrow | 7:01 AM ET | 11-08-2007

So,maybe O'Neill needed to do.."Long Night's Jouney Into Day".

If you can get a satellite hook-up that affords more TV variety way late. When I was fighting the sleeplessness of chemo etc. My computer provided access to folks in chat groups all over the world; the Aussies and Kiwis are ready to chat when most of us are snoring.

Failing all else,turn on C-Span. If that doesn't put you to sleep, not much will.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy Miles | 9:43 AM ET | 11-08-2007

I'm sure it's almost impossible to sleep with drains and tubes. I still have pain from the scar tissue they created inside my body.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. was one of my favorite television programs when I was a kid. Who would have thought it wouldn't have withstood the test of time. My favorite going to sleep old t.v. program used to be "Hart to Hart." Put me to sleep every time.

I hope you manage to find some respite soon. Still in my prayers.

Sent by Gyla | 1:07 PM ET | 11-08-2007

One of the best things I did for myself, when I was preparing for about 3 months of chemo, was to go out and buy myself a TiVO. You're right - there's not much on a lot of the time that's worth watching. But TiVO lets you pick and choose, recording an old movie that's on at 3 in the morning if you want, then watch it whenever you need to get your mid off the way you're feeling for a little while.

Sent by Carl Wilton | 10:04 PM ET | 11-08-2007

Hi Leroy, just wanted to wish you and Laurie a happy Thanksgiving. I read your blog everyday. It is good to see that you are able to get around some.
Eat as much turkey as you can hold. Turkey is supposed to put you to sleep.
I wish you the best.

Sent by Jean Hughes | 3:45 PM ET | 11-20-2007