You are so right. We are lucky. At times, we just need a reminder. Thanks. Have a wonderful Christmas and thanks again for your blog. It helps me quite a bit.

Sent by anne lumberger | 7:20 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy, you are right. You can still be part of the Christmas Magic. You are not missing anything at the mall that's for sure. You reminded us today of what is imporant or should I say, what is not imporant - all the stuff we think we can't live without. We all forget sometimes and it is good to be reminded how very lucky we are that we have a warm bed to sleep in at night.
I would like to wish everyone out there in blog land a joyous holiday and a peaceful new year.

Sent by Karen - New York | 7:37 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Again and again I am amazed how you can step outside yourself to see that others are worse off than you are. You are able to count the blessings you have and I salute you for this. I can see that despite your current health issues, you will enjoy the holiday season for what it is meant to be. Every day that we take a breath is a good day. Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.

Sent by Helene Weingarten | 7:47 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Hi Leroy, Sitting here feeling sorry for myself and then read your post. Isn't it the truth that one of the very worst things about this insidious cancer is that it can rob us of this compassion for others that you just described? That those feelings for others, which have always been uppermost in our minds, esp. around the holidays, are something that we now have to be reminded of? And then so ashamed for having to be reminded.... I think i hate this the most, my what?-remembered humanity? Remembering who I once was before this ....attack on my soul.

Thank you for remembering, because now i remember too, and will hang on to this throughout the Christmas season.

Sent by joanne | 7:54 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy, it doesn't sound to me like you are missing out on Christmas at all. To the contrary, you express beautifully what the spirit of Christmas is all about.

However,get someone with a van, big enough for you to lie down in comfortably, if needed, to take you out riding at night to look at the lights. That's one of my favorite parts too- the kitshier the better.

Merry Christmas!

Sent by Marilyn | 7:57 AM ET | 12-20-2007

"This country will not be a good place for any of us unless we make it a good place for all of us."
Theodore Roosevelt

Sent by Leonard from Alabama | 8:11 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Christmas the time of the year that loneliness, hunger, and want are more in the front and harder to ignore. Yesterday, I took my dad to see Scrooge the musical at an community theater. We really enjoyed it. How appropriate you would mention the realities that are becoming more the norm than not.

I have avoided the mall crowds,I was well into my shopping before the day of Thanksgiving rush. I enjoy looking at the houses decorated and have been listening to the carols as I get ready for Tuesday. Where I live there are 2 corner homes that I refer as "the battling homes", because the owners are trying to outdo each other. I made a quick trip down another neighborhood street to look at a house that was covered in lights, the yard was full of lighted, inflatable, animated things. Even the garage and roofs were covered. The owner must have started to decorate in July. I agree with Marilyn, find a way to get out and enjoy some of the seasonal sights. Find a little kid with the noses pressed to a window, eyes wide with wonder. Every Christmas is special and meant to be enjoyed to the best of our ability. Do the best you can, that is all you can do. ENJOY!

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:21 AM ET | 12-20-2007

You are healing Leroy. That is evidenced as your compassion for others is shared.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 8:29 AM ET | 12-20-2007

I have not written in for a while now, but after reading your words today I am reminded how fortunate I truly am.
I have been going through the ups and downs of the cancer fight. The chemo, the tests, the scrans,the good days and bad. Sometimes becoming down and feeling sorry for myself. Today your words reminded me of the good life I've had. I am truly blessed with a great family, great friends and a loving home.God has bless me in so many ways! Thank you for helping me to remember that.
God bless and Merry Christmas to everyone here in our "cancer world"

David

Sent by David White | 8:30 AM ET | 12-20-2007

There are so many things wonderful about this season, and then so many reminders of the misfortunes and disparities in this world. Ignoring them would be wrong, despite our own issues (!) and health crisis. you have said it all Leroy.
There are no amount of times we can stop and actually recognize that in many ways, we are the "fortunate" ones.
Blessings,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:44 AM ET | 12-20-2007

You are very right and reflectiive. I realize how my idea of Christmas has changed year by year as I age. As a child it was all about what will I get IF I am good. Later it gradually changed more to giving and doing for family, friends, and others. Then a sadness began to set in as those we love dearly and had made up the "family circle" began to dissapear from the picture and left those empty places in our heart. Now, in this stage of our lives, we wpend the holidays with only a few surviving friends & relatives, keeping up with what this "new fangled" holiday season is all about.
However you bring to mind Leroy, that there are still hungry, homeless, folks out there , same as always, who need comfort and love. Life must be so bleak to them. To be homeless or poor in these days of abundance and greed? What can we do? The few bucks that we could eke out to give away - where would it do any good?
We can only reach out to those we see around us who are lonely, wanting, yet too proud to ask for help. We continue to need and want friendship, but have withdrawn into our individual shells.
This Blog of yours reaches out and pulls so many of us together with our common understanding of cancer and suffering from it. What can we do to alleviate homelessness and hunger in this country much less the world?
How about "Lets WIPE out Cancer Fund?"

Sent by J C R | 8:49 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, Today your words so clearly show what makes you so special. Even though you have had such a difficult time recently, you are able to look beyond your own pain and see the pain that others must endure. And you want to do something about it. If only everyone had that attitude, we could eliminate so much suffering in our world.

Laurie, I hope that you and Leroy have a wonderful Christmas, safe in each other's arms.

To All, I know that all of us face pain and fear on a daily basis. But as we all join hands in cyber-space, we all become stronger, And we know that we are not alone in our journey. Tom and I wish all of you the best Christmas ever and blessings in the New Year! God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 9:11 AM ET | 12-20-2007

When I go outside in the evenings now, I look up at the stars and think about my friend who fought so hard to make it through one last Christmas with her kids but lost her battle with cancer on Dec. 2. It reminds me that every day we are here - alive and with our loved ones - is precious. The rest of the B.S. that goes with this season is just a distraction.

Merry Christmas, Leroy. I'm happy that you, me and all the people on this blog who are struggling with cancer are still here for another season.

Just for today, slow down. Pay attention. Be kind. Spread the joy. If you're still here tomorrow, do it again.

Sent by Karole Ives, Duluth MN | 9:13 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Amen! Be well.
Peace.

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 9:19 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy and everyone,
This year I am not exactly well enough to shop or decorate the way than I normally would. However, the lesson for me this year is that the Creche is more important than a tree, friends and family way more important than presents, compassion and generosity better than self-interest (difficult when in pain,though) and the coming of the Light way better than fear in the darkness. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all who live in hope.
Peace on us!
Kathleen

Sent by Kathleen | 9:32 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Amen. I will think of your words and try to do what I can to help those in need. I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for - including you, Leroy. Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I will keep praying for you and "listening". Much Love-

Sent by Mary Beth Monterosso | 9:45 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy, I think if I have learned anything from my son having cancer it has been to remind me of what is important. And it sure isn't things! It's our family, our dear friends, our Heavenly Father and the birth of Jesus is what Christmas is about. Our time on this earth is just a blink of the eye and none us know when God will call us Home. So give hugs when you can and tell the ones you love that you love them. Keep doing good even when good is not done to you.

I read a saying once that I find to be very true - God gave us two hands, one to help ourselves and the second to help others.

Merry Christmas Leroy. I read your blog everyday and you are a true inspiration.

Thank you and God Bless you!

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 9:49 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear all, I know that my mother Stephanie has a bit of her own following on this blog (she was the one featured in Living With Cancer). She's not making it to the computer much any more, and is beyond "battling". Please don't read this sadly, I think that she is amazing and has dealt with this phase of her life with courage, strength and grace. She (and we) got so much more time than was forecasted. Not to mention the precious months with her grandson (my son)! Prayers and loving thoughts for our family as we face the coming weeks - which are pretty clearly the end of her terrestrial life - are welcomed and appreciated.

Sent by Mara | 9:52 AM ET | 12-20-2007

We are so fortunate because the people that we love and that love us keep sending us gifts of food and practical things. We are overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends and family. Since I don't have much energy it is a chore to cook and a sad thing too because it's something I love to do. Now we have a lot of food, my daughters will be here soon to cook it and our blessings abound. It truly is Christmas in our home.I wish everyone out there in "cancer world" the same blessings. I just want to forget that there is dis-ease in my body and enjoy every day to come.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 9:52 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy,

Naturally, I agree with your sentiments about the real meaning of Christmas. But I was mostly struck by these words of yours:

"I also tell myself that it's just this year, that next year I'll be healthy enough to enjoy it all. Who knows if that's going to be true? But I choose to believe that it is."

As I've been riding this cancer roller-coaster, every seat taken and the longest lines ever, I had a very wise woman tell me this: "Watch your thoughts and where they go." We'd been talking about healing visualizations and how important they are. But she was talking about going over to the dark side, which we all do some days.

Ever since she said that, I have been watching my thoughts, and turning them back away from the negative, frightening and downright scary. It's been very interesting to see how often they go there.

So I was struck with your thoughts that are positive and hopeful.

Jordis

p.s. For those of you who haven't read the hilarious and oh-so-real book, "Crazy Sexy Cancer," go to Kris Carr's website for some incredible inspiration and information. In her blog she always spells cancer as "canser," and she says "it's just to piss it off." LOL. She also did a documentary on her situation that aired on the Learning Channel. Don't worry, Leroy, you'll never lose my loyalty, but Kris is fabulous in a different way. Love to you all, and my GOOD thoughts are going out to each and every one of you.

Sent by jordis | 9:54 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Your words are so true and from the heart. I try to remember every day how fortunate I am, though it can be hard some days to put it all into perspective.

To be surrounded by the love of family and friends, warmth, shelter, food, excellent medical care and all of you...who could ask for anything more?

Thank you and happy holidays to all.

Laurel

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:00 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy,
The true meaning of Christmas is how we feel toward our fellow man. The words you have spoke today tells me and the others that you have all the true meaning of Christmas living in you. Continue to heal and enjoy the wonderful feeling of loving and giving. Merry Christmas and God Bless to all who read this.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:06 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Thanks, again, Leroy for putting into your marvelous words what so many of us are feeling. I'm tired deep into my bones. It hurts to move. And I yearn to do all the Christmas things that I've done before. But I'm also grateful deep into my bones for the fine doctors and wonderful friends who have brought me this far this year. Love to you.

Kate

Sent by Kate Murphy | 10:18 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy,

Christmas isn't lights and malls - it's giving money to beggars. Good for you.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:26 AM ET | 12-20-2007

I've placed a household moratorium on Christmas this year--no gifts, no tree, no lights, no nuthin', and I mean it. My husband and I spend our free time reading good books, drinking decent wines, taking walks (even in the rain), and plotting out our trip to Italy next spring. It's hard to imagine how hitting the malls, getting more "stuff" that we don't need at all--and don't even really want--while racking up bills to contend with next year...it's hard to imagine how that would be pleasant. I'm finding my only pressure this season is explaining to family that I mean it: no material gifts, please, and don't expect any. We'll choose "gifts" for the family through Heifer International--nothing says "I care" like a goat!

I have almost everything I ever wanted, and the only thing I don't have--a guarantee of good health--isn't possible, so I will enjoy the rest of what I have, and be profoundly grateful for it all.

Peace
jj

Sent by Joan Jones | 10:39 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy, Thank you for your thoughts today. This morning I go in to hear the reults of my PET scan. I have had several CT's in the last year that have shown that my chemo has been working almost magically on the metastasis of my melanoma. All positive results are tempered by the fact that the extremely poor prognosis still remains the same. I feel good-very tired at times,but, as a morning person, I am grateful to still be able to get up and go. I am very fortunate to still be here after progressing to stage IV of this "formidable foe" of a cancer.
When I was young, in my idealistic hippie days, I often lived amongst the poor, broken, medically or mentally challenged folks we call the "homeless". I believed that by leaving behind security, belongings,and the values of mainstream society, I would be on a pure spiritual path somehow....
What I learned and who I met forever changed who I am as a human. We can never know what caused some fellow humans to end up with nothing.
Christmas has always bugged me. However, this year, I want to give a fun, happy holiday to my teens. I may not be here for the next one, but, then again, I just might.
Thanks for reminding me that however much you have, when you give a part of it away, you have reaffirmed some faith, hope and magic in the world. Happy holidays to you and yours and all of us cancer folks and caretakers out there.

Sent by NancyGM | 10:47 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Excellent post, Leroy. It was something we all needed to hear!

Thank you so much for your commitment to this daily posting, your honesty, and the way you are having an incredible impact in so many lives! Although you have not been "out there" in the malls and craziness, you have been "in there" for each person here, making a difference in the hearts of thousands of people! That is a huge gift at Christmastime and always -- something we all need! Rich blessings to you, your family and friends!

Sent by Jill in Michigan | 10:48 AM ET | 12-20-2007

I found your blog when I was on npr.org during a Current Issues class in my high school. Probably one of your youngest readers.... but I've been reading it everyday for four weeks now...i love it! when i connect to the internet your blog is one i must click! i hope you have a merry christmas!

search the poem "i thank you god for this most amazing" by e.e. cummings and read it!!! it sounds like it could sum up what you are feeling.

Sent by AG | 11:00 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Bless your heart, Leroy. Have a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Sent by grace | 11:01 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy, you are right on as always. Last Monday was scan day for both my husband and me (his head and neck, mine Stage IV BC). Approaching scan day we were getting progressively more nervous, so in an attempt to divert our attention away from ourselves we went to our local mall and selected a couple of children from the giving tree. My husband chose a little boy???s card and I chose a little girl???s and we then continued to read some of the other cards on the tree. We both locked onto one that was especially compelling???a little 3 year old who needed rails for his bed so he wouldn???t fall out because he has cerebral palsy.

Needless to say this little boy is getting bed rails along with other gifts for him and the 2 previously selected children, and our pity party ended quickly. Even at this wonderful season, it is all about perspective. And as an especially wonderful blessing for both of us, my husband, who 8 years ago was given 6 months to live, was pronounced cured, and I was told that I am in remission. We are both truly blessed this season and send out warm Christmas wishes to you and all of our cancer friends on this remarkable blog. Continue to fight as best you can to stay strong in body, mind, and spirit. Dreams do come true sometimes.

Bonita, Seattle

Sent by Bonita | 11:26 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy,
You are truly living the Christmas spirit. The blog is the greatest gift you can give. Best wishes to you and Laurie for the coming year.

To Mara (Stephanie's daughter)-I was curious about how your mother was doing and am sad to read your post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for taking the time to provide this information-the prayers coming your way will be endless.

Sent by Merin | 11:46 AM ET | 12-20-2007

Someone mentioned Kris Carr, you can find her here. Tomorrow they will be talking about depression.

http://crazysexycancer.blogspot.com/

This has hit me hard this Christmas. We had to put down my brother's beloved labrador on Sunday, and that has just added to the glumness.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 12:02 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Mara

I'm keeping your mother close to my heart. Blessings on her and all your family at this hard time.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:03 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy and Laurie...may you enjoy the blessings and gifts of this season. May the prayers and best wishes of this family of bloggers, your family and friends be ever present in your lives.

For Mara and family and especially Stephanie: I continue to offer prayers for God's mercy and healing power. In absence of God's miracle of healing for Stephanie, I ask for His peace and comfort to be visited upon you all for these final steps in Stephanie's journey.

Sent by Al Cato | 12:24 PM ET | 12-20-2007

And a big AMEN to that!!

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 12:49 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Mara, Thank you for taking the time to update us on your mom. Stephanie was very eloquent with her words and her posts inspiring. my thoughts are with you and your family at this very difficult time. Please let her know that many people are sending positive thoughts for her.

Sent by Susan | 1:03 PM ET | 12-20-2007

To Stephanie and Mara,

I am one of Stephanie's followers: amazing since I only saw her on the TV special and don't remember a word she said. It's her essence that spoke to me: I just immediately loved her - was drawn to her.
It makes me wonder if words don't really get in the way of what we communicate to each other through our essences - our individual spirits. Stephanie's simple act of being has changed me. Just to know that such (spiritual) beauty is possible gives me hope. It really is as Blanche DuBois says in "Streetcar": "I have come to rely on the kindness of
strangers". Strangers do not have the balance sheet which families often do, so they can show us unfettered beauty. So it is with Stephanie - at least for me - on this blog. I was away for 2 weeks travelling be car across this magnificent country. When back I went straightway to this site to see how Leroy, Stephanie and others were doing.
This huge space created by Leroy and all of us is my Christmas. For me it's about the spirit unfolding in nature and ourselves.
Thank you, Stephanie, for the gift you gave me - without even knowing it!
And thank you to everyone in this great room we've made.

Love,

Sent by Cathi from the PNW | 1:09 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy/All,

The holidays are bittersweet for me. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I'm still very sad and depressed these days, despite the antidepressants and other drugs I'm taking to get through my husband's illness. I never though he would make this Christmas and I thank God that he did.

To Mara......my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Your mom is a very special person.

Sent by sasha | 2:01 PM ET | 12-20-2007

To Mara,

So glad you let us know about your mother. She is truly a courageous woman. I will be thinking of her and praying for her.

Love to all,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty K. Lewis | 2:19 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Mara,

Even more at this time of the year, I will keep your family in my prayers. It is good that your mother had time with her grandchild...

I wish my mom could have met my beau, she would have like him.

Time, a truly valuable and limited commodity. Make every second count! Your mother did.

Sent by Sue Chap | 2:22 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy,

Your post today proved that you are truly a great person. I find it hard to be excited about the holidays, not due to my cancer, but because there are many people struggling in so many ways. It makes me sad. I admire your compassion for others.

Leonard for Alabama - What a perfect quote!!

And yes, Leroy, I agree with Wanda Amrose, You have said it all!!

Love to all,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty K. Lewis | 2:28 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy,

Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you again for today's entry. Good will to all men and women.

Mara and Stephanie, you and your family are in my heart.

With love, liz

Sent by liz h | 2:41 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy and Laurie, best wishes for a wonderful Christmas. I can not say it any better than Al Cato. We all care so much.

Mara, Stephanie and family, our thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all. Mara, thank you for giving us an update. Everyday we have hoped to find Stephanie on here with us. Our Love to all of you.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 2:44 PM ET | 12-20-2007

The only reason I went through with the decorations and cookies this year was for my kids, to give them a sense of normalcy. Otherwise I'd be happy to chuck the whole holiday and take a cruise. I realized Christmas has gotten out of hand when Christmas inflatables suddenly took over the landscape this year. What has Tigger got to do with it anyway? Giving is what the season is about, and you captured it perfectly.
The season is also about being thankful, and I am so grateful for what I have; family, friends, and the ability to afford cancer treatment. That is not to be underestimated. I heard on the radio the other day that they found (surprise!) that those cancer patients without insurance had a greatly reduced life expectancy. I wish everyone could get decent healthcare for Christmas.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 2:50 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Instead of buying gifts this Christmas I decided to add more to my giving each year to the Salvation Army.

Sent by delores remenicky | 2:53 PM ET | 12-20-2007

To Stephanie, Mara and family,

I've been thinking about you so much. You are in my prayers and in my heart.
I so admire you, Stephanie. May you be in peace.

Laurel Jones

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 3:05 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Mara, Stephanie and the rest of your family - May this time be peaceful. Please, give Stephanie our love and let her know we are thinking about you all.

Sent by Karole Ives, Duluth MN | 3:06 PM ET | 12-20-2007

As far as the needy in this country, I give to those organizations who serve the needy, Salvation Army, local homeless shelters and the like. One problem is that some won't go to shelters, they prefer camping wherever.

Each person has his own story.

Sent by Scott S. | 3:07 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Dearest Leroy, and Mara,

You have made me cry today. I feel the need to say something extremely profound and meaningful, but I just can't. All I can say, is that I can feel the collective love of this group, and it is a tangible thing, both heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I am in awe, of Life, right now. God Bless you Mara, and your Mom. I think of her often. I do and will continue to pray for everyone here.

Sent by Connie E. | 3:17 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Messages that are still hopeful from someone whose health is in jeopardy help keep life's perspectives on track. A heartfelt "Thank you" to Leroy.

Sent by Carolyn | 4:09 PM ET | 12-20-2007

To Stephanie and all her family, prayers and love are with you. Thank you for keeping us informed. God Bless all of you in this blog world and as Leroy has said "prefer to think that things will be better soon" . Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Love and strength to all.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 4:29 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy, It makes you appreciate what you have. Don't know how this great country can't do more. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 4:49 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Merry Christmas Leroy and all -

Right on Leroy - Somehow shopping mall do not do justice to the story of a babu who was born in poverty, spent his most active life working with and on behalf of the poor and died an outcast from his own community. You are good to remind us. Hopefully we can keep this in mind all year and act accordingly. Your words, everyone let us all know that while we may have much to bear, we are in the same boat with many others whose burdens and challenges come frommany sources of which cancer is only one. This Christmas at least a few of my thoughts and prayers will be with the children with cancer I met recently in Cuba whose care givers have little to work with other than love, experience and skill.

Merry Christmas to all

Vaya con Dios,

John Shippee
Atlanta, GA

Sent by John Shippee | 4:53 PM ET | 12-20-2007

A beautiful note---how quickly we forget what is truly important. Thanks!

Sent by Rita (NC) | 5:28 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy,
As far as the craziness at the malls, I am in South Florida and a woman and her young daughter who were shopping for Christmas at a very upscale mall were found bound and no longer alive in their car in the early morning hours. Now, right before the holidays, some people are afraid to visit the mall. Wasn't life great when we were kids and we didn't know there were so many things to be afraid of? Nobody really knows what's in store for them so the best we can all do is try and enjoy whatever we have at the moment. As a caregiver/spouse, I know this is easier said than done.

Sent by Elaine | 5:33 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Stephanie,
I have always enjoyed your thoughtful and reasoned postings. You have been an example of grace for me.
Godspeed.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 6:19 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Stephanie

I learned from your courage. If this time is one end it surely is followed with a beginning. I for a fact know this to be true.

Wishing you peace and comfort during the Christmas season.%0???

Sent by Irene | 7:45 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Leroy - since I found out I had pancreatic cancer around Christmas in 2005 it seems to have a differnt meaning to me now. I thank God everyday tht I am around to see this Christmas since the doctors doubted I would be. Instead of fighting the crowds in the stores to buy gifts I'm not even sure people will like after the new year I have decided to think about those less fortunate. This year our gifts are donations to those in need in the name of those on our Christmas list. Hopefully it will make them feel as good as I do to know they will be helping someone even if it is second hand. Happy Holidays

Sent by Cathy | 8:03 PM ET | 12-20-2007

To Mara- your mother has always been such a strong eloquent voice on this blog.I wondered why we hadn't heard from her recently. Will you please tell her for me that she is an insightful person who has tought may lessons to all of us. Please give her a kiss for me.

Sent by linda h. | 9:06 PM ET | 12-20-2007

I wrapped what may be the last of this year's Christmas presents today. As I took a step back to look at the tree and decorations surrounding me, I thought of the many differences between this year and last. We took family pictures and as my loved ones grumbled about the poses, there was also a great deal of mumbling about "what will she come up with next year?" No thoughts of will this be the last Christmas or what ifs. It's strange, in a sense, because many times I think of "last opportunities" ending with death and not necessarily change. There was no way to know as we took pictures at my parent's this time a year ago that my brother would be getting a divorce and that this year would be a new beginning in so many different angles. Yet, it is - providing all the more reason to grab hold of NOW.

Life is so delicate.....we no longer have to be reminded, not just for me or for those of us with cancer but in general. The fleeting seconds that hold each breath give us time every day to be thankful for the all that we have and the wonder found in each moment, no matter how small. Finding clarity in the shades of pink and orange as the clouds stretch tight brings beauty to our vision. The ability to discover peace in a sunset and letting the wonder of the sun kissing the day goodbye is an incredible memory. Watching that same sunset and believing fully that the sunrise is yet to come, delivers hope and that hope can be holding the tiniest flicker of joy or the greatest dream in the world.

Last year we rallied the dogs down to the lake with the sun setting in the background, putting antlers on each, and whispering quietly that it would probably be Meeko's last Christmas with us (our 15 year old St. Bernard). She was showing her age even then but through the past year has been a delight for me to watch. This faithful, loyal, companion of mine has taught me about perseverance, attitude and inner strength....and about hope. She has been our shadow, followed the kids on every hiking adventure and camping trip, been the captain on the sailboat, and taken step for step with the horses. This summer, though, we decided it was time for her to retire from long hikes. She protested and it was my husband who came up with the idea to let one of the horses pull a "kiddie bicycle cart" behind him. Meeko riding like a queen, getting out only to take a dip in the lake or walk the last few feet to the door taught us about contentment. She was an outside dog until a few years ago. When Missy, her mom died, we started letting her come in at night. It was a treat for her and at 13 years of age she learned to climb stairs. Since she had never before climbed stairs I thought that she might be trying to tell us the end was near - two years later clearly not the case. At first she would sleep outside our door, curled up on her huge pillow and then within months she decided curled up on the pillow next to our bed would be even better. A few months ago, I started worrying about her falling down the stairs or having trouble getting so I once again thought I would make a safety call and set up a baby gate to block her path. She hated that ideal and barked incessantly for several nights. Persistence often brings forth a positive answer. (She seems to be fond of the word YES, too! Wonder where she learned that!) We watch her carefully and every night she makes a labored trek from the bottom to the top. Her muzzle is graying, her eyesight is dim, her hearing is all but gone yet she can somehow sense a squirrel or rabbit across the yard and will bound out after it like there wasn't a care in the world. Attitude is everything. She still has a spark in her eyes and a spring in her old step. As we gathered her buddies at the lake today for the "puppy Christmas picture", we didn't utter a whisper this year, for today was festive and fun, and a tiny miracle within itself.

Tiny little miracles make the world such a beautiful place. Sending you wishes for a Happy Holiday filled with all things nice!

Sent by Suzanne Lindley | 9:41 PM ET | 12-20-2007

G-d bless you Leroy - I hope that the pain is still down and your spirits and thinking are as bright as ever. You are so incredible - take care
janice

Sent by janice goldberg white | 10:34 PM ET | 12-20-2007

Dear Leroy,
Thank you for your wisdom, love, and concern above and beyond a journalists point of view. You have dwelled in life experiences and expressed yourself so well. Since so many of us are going down the same road it's so refreshing to hear the truth as you know it ----not sugar coated, just the plain truth. May the New Year ahead be a healthy one ....no pain and filled with just normal boring days.I wish this on ALL of us. Take care and thank you Dear Leroy, thank you. xo dee

Sent by dee | 4:12 AM ET | 12-21-2007

To Mara:
Thank you so much for writing us about your mom.
I am just one of her many admirers who felt I came to know her through her writings here and her appearance on tv.
She personified through her writings a grace,bravery, sensitivity and dignity that set the bar very high for the rest of us.
I can only wish her, and all of you who love her, a gentle journey in these final days.

Sent by Harriet | 6:35 AM ET | 12-21-2007

To dear Leroy, Laurie and all members of this blog family:
For Christians, Christmas is THE most wonderous and special holiday of the year. For all Americans, the new year's holiday brings thoughts of the year that is coming to an end and the mystery of what the new one will bring.
From deep in my heart I wish that each of you finds your wishes fulfilled and your prayers answered.
Through the wonder of the internet, we can look forward to continuing to navigate life together.......and to give and receive strength, support, understanding and compassion.

Sent by Harriet | 7:09 AM ET | 12-21-2007

Mara...
Gently hug Stephanie for all of us and bless her. She is a treasure and will not be forgotten. Our hearts are breaking for the circle of your family.
Our prayers are with your family for strength, comfort and peace. Godspeed.
Leroy & Laurie too.

Sent by bethann | 10:15 AM ET | 12-21-2007