Dear Leroy~ The quality of your life now and the quality of life you desire,would seem most important once again. At least you still have some ooptions you can make. Think, once again about your Butch Cassidy. While we are still alive, we have those options.
Oh, today you will get lots of advice and support, but the decision remains in your hands. Think we all understand you a bit by now and will be with you on the decisions you make. You love challanges, don't you?

Sent by J C R | 8:08 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy,

I am sorry to read about the latest scan report. Facing such reports and inevitable choices is not easy. I know all of us who are participating in this blog are supporting and praying for you.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:13 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy, my prayers are with you. I hope with you that there is some new treatment that will be "the one" for you in your current situation. It seems that we hear of something new or a variation of an existing treatment all the time. I bet your doctors will have a plan in place for you very soon.

Today, I return to "cancer world" after 2 wonderful real world weeks I had for Christmas. I have tests scheduled today to see if the chemotherapy has had any positive effect. Monday, I find out if treatment should be continued.

I can't tell you how much you sharing your experiences has helped me deal with cancer. Thank you.

Sent by Carol M | 8:17 AM ET | 12-28-2007

My heartfelt thoughts are with you Leroy!

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 8:21 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Oh my, I haven't read your blog in a while and I am sorry to hear the news of what you are going through again.

I actually stopped by to tell you about how the holidays always mean I will sit next to the sweet old grandma who isn't a blood relative, but still is very close to me, who proceeds to tell me about everyone she knows who had cancer and died and everyone she knows who had miscarriages and strokes. Picture her with very red lipstick and very frail bones. I guess she thinks misery loves company. I love her, I don't think I can tell her to change the subject, but I have become good myself at talking about the kids instead, "hey, look over there, that's way more interesting than cancer."

I often wonder how I would feel if I had a reoccurrence. In fact I act out the strong survivor sometimes in my mind. But I know it would be really so hard, but then again, we did it before we can do it again! See...so many voices we have our head playing things out. No wonder I am tired at the end of the day.

I guess I always ask myself to please live in the present, take a walk and talk to friends. Picture the negative thought and smash it with a tightly held fist. I wish you the strength of Hercules and the peace of Ghandi.

Sent by Sarah | 8:29 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear friend:
As always, you have my loving support as you make this journey.

Sent by Harriet | 8:33 AM ET | 12-28-2007

My dad has stage 4 lung cancer and was given 6 months to live on 12/17/05. He's still around and doing fairly well. For his lung cancer he was given Tarceva and has had AMAZING results. Is that an option for you?
xoxo

Sent by Sarah | 8:35 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy,

How frustrating that everything always has to be so complicated. Once again between you, your loved ones, doctors and your faith - you will know what to do. In the meantime - you are here and it is another new year - may it be a good one.

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:53 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Wow Leroy - You've come so far and I know something will come up to help you to carry on. Definately keep the faith! I know we'll continue hearing from you throughout all of 2008. Take care -

Sent by JJG | 8:54 AM ET | 12-28-2007

I hated the thought of chemo too, thinking how sick it would make me. Then I thought, what the heck, I am already sick. Maybe the chemo can actually make me better. Sure enough, the chemo worked. I have faith the answer will come to you!

Sent by jeane | 9:00 AM ET | 12-28-2007

I would take the chemo. I know the last regime didn't work, but there are always other options. Yes you will be sick, but letting the cancer run it's course will make you sick as well. Take the shot.
Good Luck with your choice. If sheer force of will could cure anyone, you would have been cured many months ago. But you know you still have the good thoughts and positive energy of all of us.

Sent by Brit | 9:02 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy,

as time goes on with this awful disease, making decisions isn't getting any easier, is it? I'm in the same spot as you and don't know what I'll decide to do. I've had 2 lung surgeries and another colon surgery in the past 6 months and now have to decide if I want to die from the cancer or the chemo. Not a pleasant choice. Hopefully the New Year will bring new possibilities for all of us!!! Hang in there Leroy.
Kandy

Sent by Kendra Falvey | 9:12 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy, I think the one constant about life with cancer is that it is a grey world with moments of bright colors that keep us moving forward. May the grey of your today be shattered by brightness that lights the way you need or want to go.

Sending you thoughts of light.

Sent by Lesa J in MO | 9:22 AM ET | 12-28-2007

I hope that the new year finds new treatments that will help you without making you too sick. We must have faith that a new treatment will be discovered. Happy New Year!! Prayers are with you as always.

Sent by Linda | 9:32 AM ET | 12-28-2007

The answer to your situation will make itself clear. In the meantime I hope your pain is under control and you are having more good hours during the day than bad. No matter what you decide, it is your decision and it is ok. As always my prayers for peace in your mind are yours today and every day.

Sent by JMoyer | 9:40 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
You are in my thoughts as you continue to blaze the amazing path that is your life. The answers will come.

Sent by Laura | 9:50 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy, Will be praying for you to find what will be the right choice for you. Wish the road was easier for you.

Sent by Jen | 9:52 AM ET | 12-28-2007

And you're back to "hmmmm" again.It's amazing that a little sound like hmmmm can be appropriate in so many different situations, from the mundane to the life altering. I surely hope that you can find an acceptable answer. We're anxious for you.

Sent by Susan | 10:02 AM ET | 12-28-2007

For some time now you have been saying that the chemo won't work. I am sure that you know more than we do about how chemo will (or will not) work for you, however....when the end does come for you, don't you want to be able to say.." I tried it all, and I did EVERYTHING I could!" Leave no stone unturned my friend, science lurkes beneath all things.Most times it produces amazing results.
What can I say, it's the optimistic Secular Humanist in me!!!!
Liz

Sent by liz Zimmerman | 10:03 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy...another reality check....we do have stage IV cancer...mine is also growing. I am going to start chemo at the end of Jan after I take care of another medical problem. You remind me that there is always the option of doing nothing. I'm not ready for that option but maybe that day will come.

Sent by Jill | 10:08 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Just today I had an e-mail from the Lung Cancer Alliance (which may be accessed at www.lungcanceralliance.org)
with info on all the new trials being conducted. While I am sure you have outstanding care, new treatments ARE being developed and new cures are being accomplished.

My note is not to rouse false hope, merely to remind you that while past treatments may not have worked or may have been unpleasant, you are still here and we all want you to be around to break all the resolutions you make for'08.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 10:08 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy, I'm sorry about the results of the latest scans. It's a weird world when we have to wait for scans and the doctors to tell us how we're doing. You can't trust how you feel.

I'm praying for your doctors and your continued strength. I know you'll feel better once a plan is in place. Where there's life, there's hope. God bless you.

May we all have success against this horrible disease during 2008!

Sent by Anne Hart | 10:15 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Hi Leroy-
I'm having Cyber Knife Radiation next month to remove a cancer in my left lung. Wonder if this is an option for you? I'm praying you'll find the answer soon.

Sent by Sharon Mylecraine | 10:17 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
You are talked about in our home as a long time friend, Fred has lung cancer also, has gone to his spine and now appears in his bones. He just spent 3 days in the hospital, trying to rehydrate him, he is home now, fighting this awful monster with everything he has in him. He is also on the Tarceva, has been for 1 full year and he has responded to it very well, he was given 9 mos to a year last August, and is doing considerably well at this time. All I can say now is, prayer Leroy, I know it isn't easy, we have been living with this for 18 months and only by the grace of God, is Fred still with me! I hold you in my prayers every day and wish you the will power to fight this monster! Best of everything to you and Laurie!!!

Sent by Joyce | 10:47 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy:

My heart is so tired for you. It has been such a long hard battle and I'm sure you feel like a cavalry scout who crawled up a big hill only to find a large enemy camp at the bottom of the other side.

Yesterday, I was cleaning when I found a bottle of Gaviscon...expiration date 10/03. It really struck me how much of that stuff Burge used to take and I wonder why I didn't see there was a problem. If we had known then.... and all the other questions we ask ourselves on "Monday morning". They say we each have a purpose and yours seems to be helping others get though the Cancer World. Now, if only we could come up with answers for you.

In the meantime, know that we are there for each other, strangers, but with a clear connection. May you all have a peaceful weekend.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 10:49 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Geez, it's such a hard, sad place to be. The swear words we can't say here were invented for these moments. SH... !!!
I've been wondering if I'm at the end of my options when Xeloda no longer works for my breast cancer liver mets... and it's a very very scary thought on some days. But there are days when I have absolute faith that something new will work wonders for me and feel very confident that all will work out. I have friends who have been seemingly near the end, who have done clinical trials and had amazing results. I'm picky tho: gone thru baldness twice in eight years and this chemo allows me to have hair. I don't want to lose it again, and I think that most other options will make me bald.

I always wonder what factors are working to give me faith that there is another option to keep me alive, on the "good days." And why some days I don't believe that there is hope and get depressed.

Sometimes the conclusion I come to is that faith is a gift of the gods, all of them, the gods of earth and sky and sea and heaven and whatever other gods are supporting us humans as we move along through this life. So I pray when I can for this gift of faith that all will be well for me , and for all those others around the world praying for help today from physical or emotional cancers.

Blessings to you and to me and all those others seeking help and relief today.

Sent by Nancy O | 10:51 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Hi All,

I wish you weren't back in that delemma mode again, Leroy. What a battle we fight.

I just had CyberKnife on my upper spine on Monday, Christmas Eve. They are using it more and more on different parts of the body. I'm starting to feel the side effects today but they are not bad, and hopefully won't be.

Keep on hoping and fighting. We are with you.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:57 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy:
Acceptance is not easy. My wife and I have both had difficulties with this during our Cancer battles. Although certainly not perfect, Meditation and Mindfulness do help.
No goals, no expectations,
Whatever is, is.
For now, just Be.
Love, Don

Sent by Don Winslow | 11:01 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy, once again you have articulated it for all of us -
the single word "faith" contains
our prognosis. We thank you and travel
along with you.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 11:02 AM ET | 12-28-2007

I am keeping the faith that the answer you need will come to you. Praying for you and always keeping the faith.

Sent by Julie | 11:04 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy and all,
Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...Hebrews 11:1
Its my favorite verse and one that continues to give me strength each day... Laurie

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 11:08 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy,
My heart aches for you. We are faced with so much that is unknown and so many decisions to make.
Reflecting on the past year has not been heart warming. My daughter is facing her last chemo for her stage 4 uterine cancer. Then comes the wait...will the treatment be successful or will the other shoe drop?
I am due for a check up with a new GI doctor to followup on my stage 3 small bowel cancer (surgery in 2006). I also had my sixth cancer, a squamus cell skin cancer on my arm. My doctor in California removed it but the margins are not clear so I will be seeing a dermatologist in Pittsburgh next week.
I pray we will all make the right decisions and are able to accept whatever path we take. I am also praying for some sunny days for us all.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA (formerly of Temecula, CA)

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 11:08 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy: I am wishing you well, and I have Lung cancer, and know what you are going through. After many radiation, and chemo treatments my cancer came back last May. Dr. put me on Tarceva, A chemo drug in tablet form, and it worked. Am still taking it as of this date, will get my next PET scan in January, So there are treatments that work, and I hope you try what your Dr's suggest, and it works for you as it did for me. Good luck, Dick:

Sent by Richard Peck | 11:10 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear LeRoy,
I know of two places to refer you to where folks have gotten good results: The first is Cancer Treatment Centers of America. The second is a 10 step natural health plan develop by Dr. Lorraine Day, who had breast cancer. You can find her on line and read her information. It is a natural process, as she too did not want to have chemotherapy. She was close to death, then found the right combination (components of the plan). She has been cancer free for 12 years. I will be praying for you.

Sent by Anne Santora | 11:12 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
There are a number of procedures that can destroy tumors locally -- surgery is best if possible, but SirSpheres microspheres to the liver, Cyberknife radiosurgery for both liver and lungs, radiofrequency ablation which can be repeated. Sometimes it's just a case of whittling away at the disease.

Can I suggest you might get support and information from the ACOR Colon Discussion List. Many folks there are "whittling away." Go to http://listserv.acor.org/archives/colon.html
to sign up. You may do so anonymously.

Love and prayers.

Sent by Kate Murphy | 11:30 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Hi Leroy,

So many people (even on this list, and so much more so all around the world) seem to be living with the knowledge that it could all end very soon. It's awful, and it's awe-full, that humans can live in this place of uneasy unknowing for so long and that we can choose to do nothing and see what comes, or we can choose to grasp at every straw, take every chance offered -- both responses, and any in between, seem to me valid. It's your life, after all.

As always, may you be given grace and strength to be well within your soul and to be part of the world's healing today.

~ Molly

Sent by M Wms | 11:30 AM ET | 12-28-2007

I will pray for answers.

Sent by Robin T | 11:35 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy, a very special friend said that he could beat cancer if he just wasn't so sick. Keep the faith, as you have always done.

Sent by Pat Z | 11:36 AM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,

I believe there is ALWAYS an answer, just not necessarily the one we want. I have absolute faith that you will plot your course perfectly for yourself given the options available. May that process not be fraught with angst.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:48 AM ET | 12-28-2007

And so it goes on. Just keep looking at all the options and know we are here to add our collective willpower to whatever choices you make, New year, new progress. My very best wishes and a broad shoulder from all of us. Lean on me.(us!)

Sent by Jenene K. | 12:08 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I have faith that you will come to the right decision for YOU.

If you decide to stop treatment now,so be it. But please investigate all options thoroughly first, keeping an open mind. When you say chemo will make you very sick but will be ineffective -- well, that was your past experience. But is there another kind of chemo that might work better? Sorry - I know you have thought of these things. I'm just grasping at straws. But we all make assumptions, and sometimes they are wrong.

As we approach the end of another year, I wish you peace, Leroy.

Sent by Doris | 12:11 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Cancer sucks. I can't say that enough. Faith doesn't suck. As you said, things have a way of working itself out and I have faith that something good will come of this. My thoughts, prayers and positivity are with you.

Sent by Jennifer White | 12:18 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Cancer is devilish, isn't it? You are in charge of your own health, and you have made wise decisions so far because you are still here and still posting.

I try to keep my immune system up to par, and I take vitamin D since I get no sun in the winter (it's raining and snowing YET AGAIN).

Is a clinical trial a possiblity for you? I did a phase II trial and while I fared about the worst of all the participants, it's more than a year out and I am (obviously) still here and managing OK. We are looking at another clinical trial. I may one day need a stem cell transplant for my leukemia, which has about a 50% mortality rate.

Another benefit of clinical trials is that you can help increase medical knowledge for our children. That's increasingly important to me.

Take care and prayers to you and all cancer patients.

Sent by Scott S. | 12:54 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I am with you today in spirit as always Leroy.
Today my 52 year brother-in-law had to stop working due to ALS.
We are hoping for some good choices for him too.
Let's all "Expect A Miracle".

Sent by joyce | 1:05 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
sorry to hear that you had another 'gray day'. thanks again for sharing your concerns, disappointments and strong outlook for a better tomorrow. You will be in our prayers, for continued strength, recovery and the opportunity to go without any critical decisions for a while !
enjoy the start of the new year.

Sent by Lou Loggi | 1:06 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I'm sorry, Leroy, about the latest news. I know you'll figure it out--your honesty in self-reflection will lead you to the right choices, in the right time. I remember a doctor at the Johns Hopkins Breast Cancer Center said that we need to have faith that the cancer and our body will reach a state of homeostasis so we can live with cancer in a place of equiibrium.

Equilibrium, by definition, is always a balancing act, and I hope that this is just a moment in time when your body is out of its balance, and it will right itself again soon.

And, as quality of life vs. treatment decisions continue to unfold before you, I wish you freedom from pain so you can make clear decisions.

You and Laurie are in my heart on these grayest of days...Rebecca

Sent by Rebecca Bauder | 1:12 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,

Try the Philadelphia Cyberknife Center. It's within reasonable driving distance and they are at the forefront of new focused treatment for lung tumors. Won't make you sick and just may extend your life.

Sue

Sent by Sue Mersic | 1:23 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Good Afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, I'm sorry to hear about the new tumors but so glad to hear that they are growing slowly. That gives you some time to weigh all the options. Please don't rule any out, including chemo. There are lots of chemo drugs and most have side effects but the degree that the side effects bother people is highly individualized. Some folks get very sick from the chemo and some folks do not. I was lucky and made it through quite easily. But find out from your doctor just what type of cells are involved in your cancer: Adenoma, Serous Papillary Carcinoma, Sarcoma or whatever. Then you can look on the internet to see what type of treatments have been tried and their success rates. There is lots of information from medical journals available from around the world. At least that will give you an idea of what is out there. Just be sure the information is current as some of it is from years ago. If you or anyone on the blog has questions about what you read in the medical journals, I may be able to help with an explaination. I am a retired RN and have been doing a lot of research into cancer on the internet. I know some of the jargon is hard to understand if you do not have a medical background. But I would be happy to answer questions or find out information and get back to you.

Laurie, I know you are concerned about the continuing growth of the cancer in Leroy's lungs. I'm sure you can help him in his search. Be sure to look for articles about colon cancer that has metastasized to the lungs, as it is different from a tumor that starts out in the lungs. Even tho it has spread to other parts of the body it is still considered to be colon cancer as that was the primary site of his first tumor.

To All, I know that we all have Leroy and Laurie in our prayers. And I know that the bonds we form here with each other will help us along our journey as we travel into 2008. God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC.

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 1:30 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
You always have my support and are in my prayers for special healing. I guess I, too, am waiting for the dust to settle. Just when I think I'm down for the count, I'm up again....maybe crawling, but dangit I'm in for Round (mmm lost count now :D)

Hang tough to the best of your ability.

Faith and hope and love and charity goes a looong way in this fight.

Sent by lisa | 1:41 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Hi Leroy,
My name is Jean Andrews, and I am a Palliative Care nurse in Athens, Georgia. I happened to stumble across this blog, and read today's entry. My heart goes out to you and your family. The reason I am emailing you, is because you sound like you could benefit from a palliative care consult. A Certified Palliative Care nurse can not only help you with these difficult decisions, but also make sure you are comfortable now by helping with pain and symptom management. I don't know where you live, but go to getpalliativecare.org to find a place near you. The goal is to help you have the highest quaility of life NOW, and to help with future care plans. I hope this helps you somehow, and all those who have replied to you that seem to be going through the same experience. My thoughts are with all of you going through this tough time.

Sent by Jean Andrews | 1:58 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy, Seeing the oncologist is like rolling the dice, sometimes it is great and sometimes we just don't like what we see or hear. I am sorry that your cancer is growing again. I have been on chemo on and off since the beginning of my cancer. Just don't give up....everyday there is always something out there. Just Believe.

Sent by Miriam | 2:25 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy, So very sorry to hear this news. All of us know, it will most likely come down to this choice, sooner or later. I will hold a good thought for other options. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 2:36 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I am sorry you have decisions to make yet again. I'm sure the answer will come to you and all of us support whatever you choose. Don't let anyone tell you what is the right thing to do - that will be in your heart and our prayers. God Bless.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 2:52 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy,
I'm was so sad to hear of your latest scans. But my dad once told me "where there is life, there is always hope". Please think of that as we all pray for you.

Sent by elaine b | 3:30 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Dear Leroy,

I am praying for you that the next path and option will reveal itself very soon.

Love, comfort, guidance and healing to you and everyone, always.

Sent by Connie | 3:51 PM ET | 12-28-2007

What about a clinical trial of something new? There is this site http://www.centerwatch.com/ which is meant for patients and their doctors to look up trials they might be able to get into.

Here's hoping you will be shown the way, one way or another.

Sent by Celeste | 4:06 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
I'm very sorry to hear about the reappearance of your cancer. I mean that sincerely. My heart aches...

My husbands lung cancer is apparently as tenacious as yours. Chemo all last winter following his two lung surgeries was toxic to his body and left him deaf and weak. He had just regained his strength. His CAT scans were clear in August. A routine PET scan lit up "HOT" in September.
"Chemo was the insurance policy following a surgical cure." WRONG!
The docs advised, "the watch and wait", telling us that it was most likely a false positive. WRONG!

He has just undergone another thorocotomy to remove the metastatic lymph node in his chest, the week before Christmas. He now looks forward to Chemo weekly and Radiation daily for the next 6-7 weeks. Followed up with 2 whoppers of Chemo.
We pray that it stops the lung cancers.
We pray for all of you... us.
Happy New Year and Best Wishes for health and joy in 2008.

Sent by Deb | 4:24 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I copied this from the latest entry in Ric's Prostate Cancer blog. I think this is what we all need.

WORD FOR SURVIVAL
(Dedicated to William Hoyt Jr.)
?? ric masten

The man who coined the word
Had a terminal disease
A realist who knew that language
Strengthens, heals and frees
Fear: the silent assassin
Will bring you to your knees
While faith can pull Excalibur
From stubborn stones with ease

The outcome of any illness
Is never absolute
No matter what the odds are
The end is always moot
It???s only in uncertainty
That true hope can be found
And you can bet a sure thing
Will always let you down

He fought the "Big C" monster
With spunk and attitude
Another cock-eyed optimist
You should not conclude
So like the fallen colors
I???ve taken up his word
I???ll shout it from the hill tops
Till the echo can be heard

He was no Pollyanna
His word no platitude
To things considered saccharine
He was abrupt and rude
In the present day vernacular
He was a righteous dude
Let???s hear it for the man
Who coined the word
Spiritude!
+++

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 4:50 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
We are all praying for you. We know you will find the answer that is right for you. I pray every night for new treatments for all the illnesses we find in this world. I am going to pray even harder.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:56 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,

Lots of folks here have suggested treatment options, most of which I suppose you've already considered. These "it worked for me, you should try it" suggestions are well meant, but may or may not be feasible, because everyone's prognosis is different, based on the pathology reports.

The tough thing about your situation, I suppose, is living with the uncertainty. Many of us with cancer have been abruptly transferred, at the time of our diagnosis, from a place where we'd imagined we were in control of our lives, to a gray and spooky land where we are no longer in control. For a take-charge sort of personality, who's been used to deciding and acting, that adjustment can be tough. One of the frustrating things about cancer treatment is that it tantalizes us from time to time with promises that the next treatment will be the be-all and end-all, restoring that in-control feeling, when in fact it does not.

Keep the faith - whatever that means for you: whether it's faith in the capacity of medical science to figure something out, or faith in God.

Carl
"A Pastor's Cancer Diary"
http://www.cewilton.blogspot.com

Sent by Carl Wilton | 5:17 PM ET | 12-28-2007

dear leroy, Ask doc about a drug called Tarceva. Side effects can be tough, but so can we.

Sent by Ron | 6:02 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Praying for strength for you and for God to lead you in the right decisions. There are always answers - you just have to keep your eyes and ears open. There are many good suggestions on this blog for you to follow up on. Take care

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 7:35 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
I will just pray. Pray that your doctors will have a new treatment option for you, or another idea for some other procedure or drug that might at least hold your cancer at bay. But mostly I will pray that you can remain strong. Strong enough to absorb and process(but not be discouraged by)this news, strong enough to explore other options, but mostly strong enough to keep your hope and resolve to not lose this fight. I know you are getting excellent medical care and I will pray for your doctors as well. Keep the faith Leroy...we are all praying for you.

Sent by Cindy | 7:35 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,
Your sharing of your cancer journey provides inspiration for my days. Thank you. You must feel so tired of listening to your body and having it drive your life, but maybe you can summon your resources and energy to keep on 'keeping on', one day at a time.
Gay

Sent by Gay | 7:41 PM ET | 12-28-2007

Leroy,

When I read your post this morning, my brain lost any ability to focus, and find words of support, comfort or advice. I am still without satisfactory words. But, please know that you and Laurie are always in my thoughts and prayers for health and happiness.

Sent by Sheara | 9:22 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I came late to your blog (this July) and have been sending you the biggest warmest thoughts with every entry ever since. However, now perhaps...an about face...to you I'm sending very small condensed well wishes ...tiny..slow-motion...frozen good thoughts..of time to heal, plan, and write.

Sent by Haley | 10:17 PM ET | 12-28-2007

I believe faith and hope are your most powerful weapons now.

Sent by Brad Staples | 10:54 PM ET | 12-28-2007

You will figure this out -- you're brilliant. You have the very best docs. Among all of you, you'll figure out what's best! Prayers your way, fella.

Sent by Victoria Ferreira | 1:09 AM ET | 12-29-2007

Faith - an interesting concept at best. With our free will and need to control everything in our lives, the idea to place our well-being into the hands of the unknown is difficult at best. But with each circumstance outside of our control, we begin to better understand the concept of faith. Faith frees us from the shackles of fear that we all know so well. Faith allows us to rise up like the phoenix and gracefully move ahead knowing that no matter what happens, we will be alright. Peace to you LeRoy.

Sent by Kathy B. | 10:30 AM ET | 12-29-2007

I'm in a similar situation to yours with my cancer -- not a whole lot of options left but to wait and see what the tumors do next. And like you, I'm a journalist who relies on, LIVES on information, facts and science. But unlike you, I've come to the conclusion, after my extensive research, that there IS a connection between diet and my body's ability to fight cancer and survive treatments. With no help or support from my doctors, I've put myself on a no-meat, no-dairy, no-sugar, no-alcohol, no-caffeine diet. I eat mostly raw vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds. I don't think this diet is going to get rid of my cancer. I think chemo, radiation, and surgery have shrunk my tumors (temporarily), not the diet. But I DO believe, based on my research, that this diet is helping my body and my immune system fight the cancer and protect my healthy cells from the damage of chemo and radiation. Aside from the science and sense of it, I'm on this diet because it's MY only weapon against the cancer right now. The doctors are doing their best to keep my body going with the conventional treatments at their disposal. But I can't just sit around and wait for the doctors and drugs to do all the work. I have to do something myself, and hence, the diet, my exercise regimen, my supplements, and my fighting attitude (the last of which you DO have). So I wonder... given that you have a journalist's curiosity and thirst for information as I have, why aren't you trying to fight your cancer with the food you put in your body?

Sent by Shin | 10:48 AM ET | 12-29-2007

Leroy,
I'm going to church again Sunday. I'll be praying for you. It is amazing how the doctors always do seem to come up with something.

Sent by Lisa | 10:55 AM ET | 12-29-2007

Dear Leroy... read your email today with sadness. Have you had Proton therapy and/or are you a candidate for that? Loma Linda Univ. in CA has been doing that with some success I hear.
I have had a mastectomy and recently diagnosed with Thymoma. Had a tumor removed from the center of my chest (sternotomy to remove a thymic mass) and currently undergoing radiation. Where there is life, there is hope my friend... a New Year.. and new hope!

Sent by Jo Ann | 11:03 AM ET | 12-29-2007

LEROY, AS ALWAYS MANY PRAYERS AND HUGS TO YOU - AND PLEASE G-D, G-D IS ON YOUR SIDE AS ALWAYS!
LOVE, JAN

Sent by janice goldberg white | 12:01 PM ET | 12-29-2007

Dear Leroy,
I can relate to your situation, and am sending you courage and faith and the strength to deal with it. I'm a stage 4 cancer - in my liver, but of "unknown primary" which means they have no idea where it started. That mystery also means that they are ALWAYS unsure of what to recommend to me for treatment. I know what gray means! I just turned 57 yesterday and am wondering what this new year will bring me too. Having a birthday at the end of the year is weird, but this year I'm trusting that 2008 will be MUCH better than 2007! I was diagnosed August 1st. Multiple tumors in my liver that despite two different chemo series have not done much of anything - very slow growing, but a biopsy confirmed they were adneocarcinomas. I'm on a 6 week "wait and see" right now. My next CT scan is on the 3rd. I'm more nervous than I can express. Good luck and best wishes to both of us

Sent by PattiB | 2:13 PM ET | 12-29-2007

Leroy,

Just finished re-reading your posts from December 2006, especially for what you hoped for 2007. I think you are one of the few people who actually suceeded in their resolutions for the year. I think you also helped the rest of us meet ours too by virtue of your blog - I know I have become more empathetic, more sympathetic, and have prayed more prayers for people I have never met since I have come to your blog.

We had a lot of family health dramas in my extended family in 2007, so here is the closing from my Christmas cards - I wish this for you too - May you have a boring, joy, and love filled 2008!

Sent by Robin LeTourneau | 5:05 PM ET | 12-29-2007

Dear Leroy,

I am a little late in posting............I don't even know if this will go through. I just want you to know that my heart hurts for both you and Laurie, as I am going through the same ordeal with my husband. It just never ends. Each day, each scan brings a new surprise and most of the time the results are not pleasant. Please know that you are in my prayers.

Sent by sasha | 5:15 PM ET | 12-29-2007

Leroy, I lost my wife to lung cancer two months ago. I am crushed. She went through a procedure call Cyberknife, it did get rid of one tumor but of course it was too little too late. She had the treatment in Jacksonville, Fl.

Sent by Stacey | 12:08 AM ET | 12-30-2007

Leroy, I have never responded to your posts, although wy wife has. I very much appreciate the insight that you have given me. I am 49 and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on August 4, 2006, a day which I will never forget. After a surgery, in which they found they could not remove my tumor, I felt I really had no good alternative but chemo. I had different friends and family suggest alternative therapy, but I have always been a skeptic about them. The chemo is not a cure, but more of a suppressant until something better comes along. I can tell you that everyone is different. Everyone responds differently to the treatments. I have been very fortunate. I have been able to work 35 - 40 hours a week, taking time only for my weekly treatment. The major side efect for me has been fatigue (and the lower immune system). But I have an eight year old boy who keeps me going. And the treatment is working for me. The scans show the tumor has shrunk and the seeds on my intestines haven't grown into anything. I respect your decision not to use chemo. My only response is that every person has their own personal reaction to chemo (although a good doctor can tell you what to expect). And the various different chemo treatments also have different side effects. I didn't lose my hair. But my platelet counts make me very careful when shaving.
Thank you very much for sharing on your blog, and allowing us to respond. The responses are also inspirational in our war against this disease. God bless you, and keep up the good fight. Do it in a way that is best for YOU!

Sent by Jerome (in MO) | 9:41 AM ET | 12-30-2007

Dearest Leroy,

I am sad to hear of your most recent news, but not too sad: I know you are strong-spirited and wise enough to make something positive come out of this most recent turn of events. Your emotional strength, your humor, and your mind will carry you through, I am convinced. You are just amazing, and you never cease to inspire. I so appreciate, respect, and admire you. Whatever you decide to do, or not to do, you have my vote! Lots of love and good wishes to you, dear Leroy!

Sent by Anne | 2:17 PM ET | 12-30-2007

Dear all, I (Mara) just wanted to let you know that I read Leroy's entry and everyone's comments to my mother (Stephanie Dornbrook). She enjoyed hearing everyone's notes of love, peace and prayer. Thank you.

Sent by Mara | 3:22 PM ET | 12-30-2007

Leroy and Laurie,
Just catching up on the blog. My heart goes out to both of you. As others have also said, cancer really sucks. In spite of whatever happens, please know that we will be here for you.

Sent by betsey kuzia in albany ny | 9:42 AM ET | 12-31-2007

Leroy,

Though the choices aren't always clear, it's wonderful to know that there are options. A few short years ago Sir-spheres (for liver mets), RFA, cyberknife, and tomotherapy were hardly known. I received sir-spheres in January, 2005 and it was a turning point in my stage IV diagnosis. I recently underwent cyberknife on my pancreas and lungs. There were few side effects and the procedure itself was simple. Perhaps either it or tomotherapy are a possibility for your lungs.

Chemo doesn't always take away quality of life. I'm hoping that if it is a choice you make that your treatment team will stay on top of the side effects and work with the dosage/timing to make it tolerable and effective.

Hang in there, Leroy, as we come to the close of 2007 and look forward to the beginning of 2008. May the coming year bring blessings of health, happiness, and hope to all of us.

Sent by Suzanne Lindley | 11:49 AM ET | 12-31-2007

Leroy -

My mother had cancer, went through the two steps forward, one step back for several years, struggled with chemo and its effects, for what seemed like a long, long time. Finally, the cancer was in remission. Then, about two years later, it came back, she went through the entire process all over again, two steps forward, one step back, trying new drugs, struggling with the effects of chemo, losing hope, gaining hope and then, it disappeared. We won the battle and you will, too. Keep the faith.

Sent by Linnea | 7:07 AM ET | 01-01-2008

what about shaped-beam radiosurgery? I am going to try this on my small lung tumors. Sounds very promising!!!

Sent by sue | 7:46 PM ET | 01-01-2008

Hi Leroy,

I haven't been at this game as long as you, and I don't remember any of your previous Chemo experiences. All I can can say is that my Chemo experiences (Temozolomid with and without radiation for a GBM) were not bad. Only a touch of nausea and tiredneness. But I respect your choice not to go for that option - Ian

Sent by Ian Gardiner-Smith | 3:16 PM ET | 01-02-2008

I am continually inspired by your blogs. Have you considered the Hoxsey Clinic in Tiajuana Mexico? At the very least it might be a nice vacation. May you find respite from pain and frustration. Keep throwin' punches!

Sent by Zach | 10:50 PM ET | 01-09-2008