I'm sorry about the setback, Leroy, but for some reason (probably your endless spirit and courage) I believe this, too, shall pass for you, and you will sally forth strongly!

Sent by Kirsten Mygil | 7:30 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy,

I am sorry to hear you have to endure the pain again because of the upcoming procedure, also that the effusion is a result of the lung tumors. I know Tuesday seems like a long way off. If possible focus anywhere other than the pain.

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:34 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, wish there were words to convey how sorry I am for all that you are having to deal with. Hope the procedure on Tuesday will provide relief from pain and that your doctors will come up with a good course of action. You are in my prayers. My best friend died two years ago after a ten year battle with cancer and we spent so much time trying to make sense of the "why me" and "why so many others". After years of this, we finally came up with the profound conclusion that s..t happens. She made the decision that the "why" wasn't important enough to waste time on and was able to let it go. In that respect, she did better than I. Sending all the best to you, and my sympathies on the death of your friend. Again, words fail.

Sent by Jen | 7:46 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, I been where you are: back surgery solves one problem but contributes to others, and on it goes until you feel like you're slipping down a very big mountain. But I had my surgery like yours five years ago and things DID finally settle down. It took everything I had within me and then some. I had a child to raise; I couldn't give up. So I reached deep inside found more stamina, more courage to keep going. I guess the only sage advise I can give you (not that you were asking, right?)is that all this is doable. It ain't pleasant, but it can be done. I hear the fatigue in you, the wondering. Wrap your arms around your sig. other and just breathe. The next step is all you need to take.

Blessings to you both.

Kate

Sent by Kate Fuehrer | 8:20 AM ET | 01-04-2008

To everyone who may have missed my 6 pm posting last night about Stephanie Dornbrook:
I, like so many others, feel as if Stephanie Dornbrook is a friend, though we never met, other than on this site. To all who would like an update on her journey, two of her children have blogs that are up to date through January 2. The addresses are:
http://dornbrook.com/Blogs/Nathan/
http://www.dornbrook.com/Blogs/Mara/.
In reading their recent entries, my admiration for her was reinforced. Such dignity and retention of control! Such a mentor! May peace continue to surround her and her loved ones.

Sent by Harriet | 8:26 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Hi Leroy,

Since two months I am reading your daily posts here in Belgium (so sorry for my poor English). My mother had breast cancer 17 years ago, and recovered from it, so I know it is important to never give up hope. You write so beautifully about your life, everything you are going through, with a lot of humor, real feelings... I can almost feel your pain... I think about you every day, and all the other people who are dealing with this terrible disease. It's high time researchers find a cure! For 2008 I wish you less pain, if possible no pain at all, a good health, lots of laughter, good friends and back to a normal life. If somebody deserves it, then it is certainly you!

Sent by Rebecca | 8:37 AM ET | 01-04-2008

I can think of a few choice cuss words I'd like to use on those cancer cells right now. I'm sorry that the news isn't as good as you - and all of us - would like but as you said, you've dealt with the pain before, you can do it again. It just stinks that you have to. Hang in there. It'll be Tuesday before you know it.

Sent by Karole Ives, Duluth MN | 8:41 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Damn. I am sorry for this latest trial.

I wish I could think of something to dilute the pain or to divert you enough to "get away" from it for long moments at a time.

I can't. Damn.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 8:51 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Isn't it amazing how we learn to celebrate every little victory and learn to live with what we now think is a little pain. People said this would change me. I wasn't sure how in the beginning but now I'm starting to get a handle on it.

Sent by lisa | 9:18 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy~ we are all sending strong vibes for the next five days to get you thru. You will be good to go after they drain that fluid. And lets pray it doesn't come back. Think I'll buy stock in ibuprofen :)

Sent by DiAnn | 9:24 AM ET | 01-04-2008

I really hope draining the fluid is effective in ending your pain, Leroy. The news about cancer around your lung stinks as does being in pain waiting for your surgery! But remember, the gloves are coming off in fighting this-- hang in there.

Sent by N.R. | 9:25 AM ET | 01-04-2008

If only those of us who care about you could each take a piece of your pain to spare you from your continuing trials. If only. Godspeed.

Sent by Roslyn | 9:44 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy -- You can do it. Elaine

Sent by Elaine Barnes | 9:50 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Crap. Seriously...crap. I pray 5 days goes quickly and the procedure brings relief. I pray.

Hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori | 9:52 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy,
You are a man of much strength...you can do this. Focus on how much better it will feel when the fluid is off. God Bless you and keep your spirits up.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:06 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy,

Too much for one person to endure..........I have no other words.....

Sent by sasha | 10:23 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Harriet, thank you so much for your information about Stephanie's childrens' blogs. I feel like i have known Stephanie too, although of course have never met her. I have just read some of the words on her childrens' blogs, and on hers, and just broke down and wept in a way i seldom do -- huge, deep tears for all of us and all of the pain in the world, perhaps. Hugs and strength to you, Leroy, during this next chapter.

Sent by Suzanne in Houston | 10:34 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy,
This morning as I read of your waiting, I wondered how I could possibly respond. Then my father's voice echoed in my head, and so, guided by my memory of comfort, I reach through this cyberspace to gently tap you on your chest and to say, "You are stronger than you know."
I hold you in my prayers.

Sent by Kay S | 10:46 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, it sounds like we are going through similar things. After being driained 3 times (which by the way doesn't hurt hardly at all - just a needle stick). Today I am going to discuss a more permanent solution. I am a little nervous but hopeful this will make me feel better in the long run. Sorrry you have pain ahead of time but they don't want you to bleed all over the place so that's why you had to stop your pain medication. Prayers are with you to get through this. Thanks for sharing - we all have so much in common and sharing makes such a difference - no on is alone!

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 11:03 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, my prayers are with you! You have such strength, you are a rock to so many of us! Stay strong in your fight! Laurie

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 11:35 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, nothing to say but sory for the setback. Stay strong. We are with you.

Sent by Jenene K | 11:37 AM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, lately I've noticed my husband and I are talking about you as if you are a friend or family member - after reading your blog one of us will tell the other how you are feeling and what's going on with you. We feel with you on your good and bad days. You are probably going to feel a lot better after they drain the fluid. I can testify after living for 2 years off and on with pleural effusions. I've had it drained twice and had a pleurodesis but still have a permanent pocket of fluid. As I write I suspect, based on familiar symptoms, that it is getting larger. I'm great with denial so have been telling myself it's a pulled muscle but I know better.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this too as the fluid is uncomfortable and worrisome. But the relief from drainage was instantaneous - after both times I walked out feeling lighter and better.
Hopefully you'll find you don't need the iboprofun after this.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 12:00 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy:

Years ago I watched some movie with Elizabeth Taylor (maybe a Virginia Wolf role?) where her character talks about a mouse which fell in a vat of cream. All night he swam never giving up only to find that when he finally stopped the cream had turned to butter. He floated to the top and was able to climb out. I wish you that butter to float you out of this additional situation. Heaven knows you've tread a lot of water.

To Bruce: So glad you posted. I've thought about you and wondered how it was going. It was your first Christmas without your spouse, too.

To Marcia: Teri is in the Anshultz infustion center on the second floor. I thought perhaps you did chemo there. She can be identified as the nurse with the Alpaca farm and is well known thoughout the facility. She was God's gift to Burge during the chemo.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 12:53 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Hi Leroy:
It has been so long since I wrote in on the blog but I do check in to read so I have kept up with your experiences.
The cancer message I always hear is that one should live in the moment. When the moment is filled with pain, it really loses its meaning fast. I wish you well, Leroy, and wish I could offer more.
Susan

Sent by Susan | 12:56 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Bruce,
Thank you for your kind comments and for thinking about me..............I only wish the best for you.

Sent by sasha | 1:34 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Oh Leroy, I will pray that Tuesday comes quickly. The relief should be quick also when they finally do it. However what do the doctors intend to do about the cause of the fluid? Maybe Chemo again. Wish you wouldn't fear that so much. It has been keeping my sister in law's lung tumor at bay and even has shrunk it a bit. This is after four years of off and on Chemo. She says it is keeping her alive and pain free. Of course she does not have the spinal problems that you have.
Thank you so much for sharing your ordeal with us. We have grown so attached to you Leroy, and I believe, to each other here, that we truly care and are with you on this journey.

Sent by J C R | 2:10 PM ET | 01-04-2008

I'm wishing you strength, peace, courage and comfort - in abundance.
I know you are surrounded with immense love and encouragement.
Have you tried Tylenol? It can be amazingly effective if not contraindicated. Check with your Doc. I hope you're feeling much better soon.

Sent by Fran Welsh | 2:25 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy,
I'm so sorry that you have more pain to endure but I'm so in awe of you. I love the last line of your post today, "I can do that". My husband is suffering from lung cancer but has a difficult time saying, "I can do that". I can't seem to get him to say it but as his caregiver, I try to say it about myself. Leroy, if you can do whatever it takes to fight then so can I. "I can do that".

Sent by Elaine | 2:49 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy,

You sounded up for what you are facing in today's post. Isn't it great when the strength we need is available exactly when we need it? Harder when the two don't mesh.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 3:00 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, hope the days go by quickly. There's no question you'll get through this.

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 3:50 PM ET | 01-04-2008

YES YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sent by Becky | 3:53 PM ET | 01-04-2008

I have not posted in a while but I wish I could take your pain away. You have been a clear voice for me in trying to udnerstand my mother's struggles and ultimate death from lung cancer. I have been meaning to write and tell you how glad I was to see you on TV with Ted Koppel and Elizabeth Edwards soon after my mother died. I was glad to get to "meet" you in that way. Take care.

Sent by Tania Horne | 4:11 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy,

Checking in late today, and sorry to hear about the complications, but I have faith that you CAN do it. I'll be praying for you.

Connie

Sent by Connie | 4:25 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Good Afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, I wish I had a really good remote and could push the fast forward and get you to Tuesday faster so the pain would be gone. But, Darn, you know that you guys control the remotes and Tom has ours! I hope this will bring you a giggle and take your mind off the pain for a few moments at least.

Laurie, I know you are counting down the moments until Tuesday also. I'm counting with you.

To All, As we take this journey together, it is so important to know that we are not out here wandering this path alone! The comfort and support found here is awesome and tonight I need to know that you are here. I just got another report on my CA-125 and its on the rise again even from just 3 weeks ago. I was surprised that it was repeated so soom and also disappointed at the results. My heart goes out to all of you and I hope that 2008 will bring some better news for all of us!!
God Bless!!
Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC.

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 5:10 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Dear Leroy, I read your blog every day and always appreciate your candor. My holidays have been saturated with loss and death--all one step removed (friends and relatives parents are dying)--but poignant nevertheless. My perspective has shifted as a result of cancer; I feel much sturdier in the face of my own and others' bad news. So I'm sending some strength to you in the dead of night. And if you're awake at 4:30 a.m. so am I, drinking coffee to counteract chemo so I can make the drive to my office. Many of us are awake when you are--there is a community surrounding you though you can't see our faces or hear our words--you are not alone.

Sent by sajenkins | 5:24 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Nikki--yes, I still read every day although I find as I get further out from the sentinel event I have less need to post. It will soon be a year, and the holidays were tough but not as bad as I expected.

Sasha--You've still got a tough row to hoe in front of you, regardless of the outcome. I have the ultimate faith that whatever happens you'll do fine. It's pretty amazing, this human capacity for doing what we have to do and accepting whatever the outcome is. A year ago I would have protested long and loud that I couldn't survive, but here I am.

And I'm still here.

I still cry almost every day over the loss, but I know I have to go on and leave some things behind that I thought would follow me into old age. It's just not going to be, and I have to learn to be OK with that.

I understand I was very lucky to have had the two decades I did have. How can I ask for more? My life isn't the same as it was. Maybe that's Terry's legacy through me.

Oh, and Mara, much love to Stephanie, too, as well as you and the family. I've been following your blogs and it sounds like you couldn't have had a better mother than her. We're all with you, remember that.

Sent by Bruce | 6:55 PM ET | 01-04-2008

I love the last line of your post today: "I can do that." Those four simple words remind me of my mom. Whatever life handed her (and a lot of it was terribly hard to bear) she just quietly kept putting one foot in front of the other. One small step at a time. Her courage and yours are such an inspiration to me.

Sent by Doris | 7:16 PM ET | 01-04-2008

Leroy, It is never easy waiting for the next procedure to be concluded, in this case made even more difficult with the elimination of pain killers. Very tough going. Hope it's all over soonest, and doesn't have to be redone. Never easy!! Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 7:39 PM ET | 01-04-2008

AS always, I will be there with you in thought and prayer. Be strong!!

Sent by Mike | 12:53 AM ET | 01-05-2008

DEAR LEROY
GOOD LUCK FOR THE NEXT FIVE DAYS AND ALWAYS, OF COURSE! I HOPE THAT GETTING RID OF THE FLUID ALLEVIATES HELPS - THIS IS SO TIRING FOR YOU AND YOU ARE SO POSITIVE AND SO FIGHTING.

I THANK G-D THAT MONTHS AGO WHEN A FRIEND OF MINE WAS GOING THROUGH CANCER AND HAD A BLOG I HEARD ON TELEVISINO THAT THERE WAS GOING TO BE A PROGRAM WITH TED KOPPEL AN DHIS FRIEND LEROY SIEVERS - I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT FIGHTING AND NOT GIVING UP - COMPLAINING AT TIMES AND BEING SCARED AT TIMES BUT NOT GIVING UP - G-D BLESS YOU.

JAN WHITE

Sent by janice goldberg white | 8:54 AM ET | 01-05-2008

I am new to the blog world. I have stage 4 lung cancer that is currently wreaking havoc in my back. T9 area was just radiated and am waiting for a CT scan to be read before a decision about which chemo to try. I also have chronic depression that really eats into my ability to 'keep my spirits up' and I've been doing a lot of crying lately. I take meds, but when I lose it emotionally I think about giving up. I'm trying to do the blog in order to take my mind off my misery. Any help out there? Am I in the right place? Just read an article that says that patients improve when oncologists are aware of psychological ramifications of this disease in their patients who suffer from depression.

Sent by amanda | 1:39 PM ET | 01-05-2008

Leroy - don't give up. Push the doctors as to what is next. Keep up your treatments. Good things can happen. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer they didn't even know if they wanted to treat me the cancer looked to be so bad. I fought the doctors and won my chance at surgery and chemotherapy. On New Year's Eve, I got the results of my CT and bone scans. Improvement every where. The spots on my lungs are gone.

So, keep fighting, keep trying. I'm going to fight as hard as I can in 2008 and I hope that you will be fighting along side of all of us who are determined to destroy cancer.

Sent by Carol | 1:45 PM ET | 01-05-2008

I'm a long time reader and lurker, to my shame. I wanted you to know how much I appreicate your blogging and writing about your days. The documentry moved me also. My best friend died from metastized breast cancer, but my mother lived from her first surgery in 1948 for colon cancer at age 48, thru to renal failure in 1989. One never knows what will happen. Your presence here every day adds to all our lives. Thank you.

Sent by Mage Bailey | 5:10 PM ET | 01-05-2008

I have no wisdom to share, just my thoughts and prayers.
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 11:19 PM ET | 01-05-2008

Leroy -

I had to have a similar procedure done about a month ago. What I discovered was that worrying about the procedure is far worse than the procedure itself. They give you a shot of something (in my case it was Lidocaine) to numb the skin(I never even felt this shot), then they insert the needle(never felt it), suck out what they need to(didn't feel this either), and you're done. Whole thing - which didn't hurt at all - took about 5 minutes. No big deal. Not to worry!

Sent by Linnea | 6:35 AM ET | 01-06-2008

Leroy - You are in my prayers. Though I do not often post here, I felt like writing this time. I too have had the pain from cancer - pleurosis - remember Blue Roses from Glass Menagerie? I started telling everyone I had Blue Roses...The pain is surprisingly unbearable and Ibuprofin is the only thing that works. I had the fluid drained once and that helped right away. Wow, the CT scan showed about 2/3 of my lung had collapsed due to all the fluid. I hope you do well and we are both on this earth a long time to come.

Sent by clarke | 3:04 PM ET | 01-06-2008

Dear Amanda,
Yes, you ARE in the right place, to say whatever is on your mind, happy or sad. I first began reading this blog right after the broadcast, and then sropped abruptly because I thought I was alone in the emotional devastation this illness brings, but have found that through writing the truth about how I am feeling, I get very good feed back and support. We are happy you are here, and hope you stay.

Love, Briana

Sent by Briana | 8:59 PM ET | 01-06-2008

Hello Leroy and others on this blog.
I have been away from the blog for awhile. I guess I have been trying to escape the "cancer world". I am on tamoxifin as an experiment to see if it will zap those nasty tumors from ovarian cancer. If this works, I will not have to go through chemo for the 4th time. I have been off of chemo since Feb 07 and feel just wonderful. I so want the good feeling to continue. I go in for a CT and bloodwork later this month. I HAVE HIGH HOPES WITH GUARDED OPTIMISM. Does anybody else share this feeling?

Leroy, I wish you the best on your procedure this week.

Betty

Sent by Betty | 2:27 AM ET | 01-07-2008

I'm really sorry to hear about your pain, normal people like us cannot even endure a small headache, you're facing a mountain full of pain.

Have you ever tried non pharmacological therapies for pain management? Things like deep breathing, muscle relaxation and meditation? It might bring some comfort to you, if not relieve all your pain.

Also give acupuncture and massage therapy a try. You can contact me if you want to learn more about some of these pain reliever therapies. My blog is @ http://www.researchmesotheliomacancer.com

Thanks,
Sumar

Sent by Abdul Sumar | 9:21 PM ET | 02-01-2008