Leroy stay strong, I will pray for you.

Sent by Dave | 7:28 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Hi Leroy,

I am so sorry that things did not turn out better with your doctors. You have been thru tough times and you will get thru this as well, I am sure. Many good and healing thoughts are coming your way,

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 7:30 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Oh Leroy, I wish there was something remotely useful or helpful to say. I'll leave it with the thought that has meant so much to me since I started reading your blog, way back at the beginning - we are all with you, every step of the way.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 7:44 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, good day or bad day, we are all behind you every day. Keep fighting!!

Sent by Joe Robertson | 7:50 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I so wish I had something wise to say here Leroy.

I am just crying over here today after reading the blog.

I want to list questions or ideas for you. What about this...? Have you read this...? Can you do this....?

But there is nothing for me to offer you.

Hoping it helps to know how much I pray for you and that I will continue to pray that your miracle comes.

Every hero deserves a miracle.

Sent by Melissa T | 8:06 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Wow, Leroy. I'll think very carefully before I ever again say I'm having a 'tough day'. Your day was awful. Your matter of fact tone - about the pain you experienced and about the prognosis- brings it all home even more. I have no words, really, just lots of feelings. Hope is a survivor among them.

Sent by Barbara K. | 8:16 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
I am so sorry for all you went through yesterday and all you have endured up to now.
You have a strong army behind you, an army you have inspired and gathered. Our collective strength is behind you.
With much love,
Mary

Sent by Mary Sullivan | 8:18 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy & Laurie - I am so sorry for the not-so-good news you received yesterday. I'm sure I speak for many when I say that news like that is not what any of us want to hear, but that is always in the back of our minds.

You are still providing a view of how one deals with the highs and lows of the disease. I learn something from you every time you write. I file it away in my mind for future reference in how to deal graciously but humanly with the news. You have helped me think about these things more than you know. Thank you for that.

You are both in my thoughts and prayers,
Martha in FL

Sent by Martha in FL | 8:20 AM ET | 01-09-2008

We can still pray.

Sent by Bettye W. | 8:25 AM ET | 01-09-2008

All I can say is that I feel your psychic pain if not your physical pain and both appear to be very strong at this time. I am sorry and I will be carrying you in my thoughts as my day moves on.
Susan

Sent by Susan P | 8:27 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I'm so sorry about how difficult your day turned out to be. I hope that they can find ways to make you more comfortable. Remember, we are here in the hard times as well as the joyful ones. Hopefully, there will be some good suprises still to come but regardless this is what the blog is--the journey with all of the ups and downs. Peace

Sent by Dona | 8:29 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

Robert Frost helps me in times like the one you are describing. What a hard day. My heart goes out to you and Laurie. I personally get quite angry when I know (intuitively) something is going on, and the damn scan isn't getting it. But, it is what it is. Miracles come in all shapes and sizes, and I don't really think the box ever empties completely. It's not always possible or necessary to stay "optimistic".... thank you for sharing what is really going on, and how you are really feeling. My partner and I are keeping you and Laurie in our prayers.

Heartlight and love,

Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 8:30 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

I am not sure how I have come to care so much about you, a man I have never met.

Your message this morning brought me to tears and I can only hope that the "box of miracles" still has some to be discovered.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 8:31 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I am so sorry to read the news BUT I will remain hopeful that the docs can figure out a course of action. I know that you are doing the best you can and that's all anyone can do. It is more than ok to be depressed, sad, angry, scared plus any other emotion that comes to mind.

I will continue my prayers for your healing. There is deep within you a fighting spirit. Latch onto it. It will help sustain you.

I read between the lines Leroy that your oncologist may not have anything else to offer. If so and you wish to continue to fight, seek other opinions and options elsewhere. No one doctor nor medical center has all the answers. Remember.....what works for me may not work for you and vice versa. Seeking and finding that drug or treatment that will work for you is the key. As I've said before, I've tried numerous drugs and treatments (in spite of the side effects), each has failed individually but perhaps cumulatively they may have slowed the recurrences.

Continue to look for that next treatment, if this is your choice, because it may help slow or stop the cancer. Meanwhile, I'll continue my prayers for you and Laurie.

Remember that it is ok to be afraid BUT leave a tiny bit of room in your heart for HOPE (paraphrasing from Lance Armstrong's book).

Sent by Al Cato | 8:35 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy.........wish I had the right words...
Tough day, but you're a tough guy and I pray today is better.......
Just take it a day or hour at a time and soak up all the love and energy being sent your way.

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 8:38 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I have lurked here for many months, and rarely if ever commented. But I wanted you to know how much I care, and how deeply I feel for you right now. I hope they can find some answers for you and relieve your pain!

Sent by Jenny | 8:43 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, No, no, no. I am so sorry for yesterday amd the set back.
I pray everyday for the growing list of friends and family with cancer. I pray that my mother will be spared of pain; my sister-in-law will be cured; my niece and I will remain disease free; and my hero, Leroy, will kill the beast.
Please find the strength to keep going.

Sent by Jessie | 8:50 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

I might have missed something in earlier entries, I don't remember you mentioning the weight loss before. I am extremely sadden by the finding of your procedure yesterday. I am pulling for you and of course including you in my prayers.

Be strong!

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:52 AM ET | 01-09-2008

No nice way to put it; it stinks. My prayers will center around your wonderful, stubborn spirit -- that it will propel you through this latest trial (and also that the Ibuprofen is now kicking in again and helping to ease your pain).

Sent by Karen Laven | 8:53 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

I haven't written in awhile, but I continue to make this the first stop in cyberspace each morning. What you have written about today is my second biggest fear... running out of options. My biggest fear is being suddenly incapacitated... either by the disease or more likely the treatment. Please know that you have people out there that probably understand how you are feeling and that you are not alone.

My best wishes for you,
Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 9:02 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

May the ibuprofen you are hopefuly back on lessen your pain, so you can face the day with even more grace than you are doing already. (not entirely sure that is possible though)

My prayers to you and Lori, so you can keep the mental and physical reserves to fight the good fight and my prayers to the doctors and the researchers, and anyone who might be in the midst of publishing a new study on something that might help you.

Hang in there.... and I am so sorry yesterday didn't go as planned.

Robin

Sent by Robin L. Fairfax VA | 9:04 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy: Iam so sorry. Try to do what Ruth said, "soak up all of the love and energy being your way. diana maloy

Sent by Diana Maloy | 9:06 AM ET | 01-09-2008

This seems to be a day when nothing but saying "I'm sorry" is adequate. I am sorry. Susan

Sent by Susan | 9:12 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, Like Peggy, I just can't imagine how I have come to care so much about you. And there are so many of us. That is a miracle and a blessing. You were not alone when you had good days and you are not alone now. You are not afraid alone, you are not crying alone. I wish you peace no matter how it may come. Many thanks for all you have given of yourself. Susan

Sent by Susan | 9:14 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Wow, it's always in the back of our minds isn't it? Damn. BUT I do know that the miracle of the box is that it never really does empty; it has always got one left in it. Sometimes we just don't recognize if for what it truly is.
Maybe the miracle is that you and Laurie still do have time? God bless both of you and know, as I am sure you do, you have a legion of loved ones behind you out here

Sent by Karen | 9:19 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Please know that thoughts are with you and many prayers. The "box of miracles" is still there - keep searching!! Do not give up!!!!

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 9:22 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
I am so sorry about the results from yesterday. I know this is not what you had hoped for but it is always in the back of the mind. As a caregiver, Laurie, I know how news whether its good or bad affects you, so keep your spirits up. For both of you we will continue to pray as well as for everyone else touched by this monster.

Sent by Kathie | 9:24 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, I am so sorry to read your discouraging news. Please remain hopeful and try to smile about something today. Prayers and strength to you, Susie

Sent by Susie R. | 9:25 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I agree with the lady that said I don't know how I got to care so much for someone I have never met. But I do and my body aches for your pain. I suppose it is because you represent all of us and to hear of a day where things did not go your way, it affects us all. Keep your strength...and truely the box is never really empty.

Sent by Allison Kingston | 9:33 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy - I was so terribly sorry to read your most recent entries - you mustn't forget that you have so many friends on earth and many angels in heaven walking this walk with you. It's ok to be tired, to be frustrated, angry, sad. I can only imagine what this ordeal must be for you. But we will uphold you in love and prayer so please rest in this if you need to. I hope you will feel some comfort in this; the fight goes on, but hope and resolve are so dependent on levels of mental and physical anguish. PLEASE give yourself permission to do whatever it takes to get some rest and relief for a while. Your support team and the the team up above will not rest, but will carry on the battle. Blessings and peace to you- Carole

Sent by cduckett | 9:33 AM ET | 01-09-2008

So deeply sorry. You have helped so many others, and we want to help you. The best we can do is send love and support. Take care. Wendy

Sent by wendy adamson | 9:34 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I have been reading your blog for a long time-since my sister in law was diagnosed with melanoma that had spread significantly. It helped me stay positive as she went through the same experiences that you are having. I read your posts regularly and feel sad about your news. Hang on, move forward and God bless

Sent by Cheryl | 9:34 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Ugh! Leroy, if you haven't already, how about watching The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know. Great works that motivate a power within for positive thinking. I used them throughout my front line battle and still use them today to keep the menace at bay.

We can all visualize you and ourselves healthy and strong, then see where it goes. The trick is to visualize yourself where you want to be as if you are already there.

Stay strong.
Kathy Bero

Sent by Kathy Bero | 9:34 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy...love is a miracle...and we love you. I am praying for you and Laurie.

Sent by Faun | 9:34 AM ET | 01-09-2008

This is the first time I am writing to you. You have been a source of strength and hope for so many. My prayers are with you and all those going through such traumatic situations. Pray that the healing light surrounds you and lightens your suffering, and guides the hands that treat you.

Sona (Delhi, India)

Sent by Sona Godfrey | 9:35 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I have followed your blog since my sister-in-law started her own journey, in Aug'06.
We're not an emotionally close family, you see, stiff upper lip and all. As I said, I'm the in-law so I had a gazillion questions, even more concerns, but no one to ask. You and your bloggers gave me answers to questions I couldn't ask, information when I didn't know what to expect, and showed me how to provide loving and helpful support.
My sister-in-law passed away a month ago but before she did, we were able to have a closeness and openness that wouldn't have been possible without all of you.
Thank you doesn't begin to express the depth of my gratitude.
Please know, Leroy, that I'm sending all that love and support to you now.
Myrna Baker

Sent by Myrna Baker | 9:36 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
I am so sorry about the new battle that has been set in front of you. I know it is easier said than done but believe that there is a miracle just waiting for you. We may not know what it is but as a fellow member of the cancer club I want to think that we will always have hope. The hope may not be bring what our minds want to hear but God knows what we need. Your story and blog gives us all hope each day, even on your tough days. It makes us all realize that we are not alone in our struggles and fears in fighting our cancers. I know you are in pain and I wish I could say something that would be profound and take it all away.....but bottom line cancer just sucks and we have no other choice than to not give up and enjoy the love of family and friends. Be Strong my cyber friend, like I said you are the miracle to most of us who before you began your cancer journey felt alone. You are our miracle.

Sent by Miriam | 9:37 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I am praying for you and Laurie. May healing, strength and peace come to you.

Sent by Mary Beth Monterosso | 9:37 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I hate this so much for you and for us. Do you know whether your docs have considered discussing your current situation with the hospital's tumor board?
I learned recently that almost all hospitals regularly convene their most experienced docs in an attempt to solve the trickiest, most confounding issues that confront their patients.
This sounds like the ideal moment for your medical team to ask their board for advice and counsel.
Please...we need some outside the box thinking here!!
Only love,
Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 9:38 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Please stay strong. New treatments come up every day. And perhaps with a little time to research and brainstorm, the doc will come up with something to try that he didnt think about yesterday. Prayers for you!!

Sent by Nancy Kelly | 9:39 AM ET | 01-09-2008

So sorry for the tough day Leroy...my thoughts and prayers are with you for better news soon. You mean so much to all of us. Love, Sherri in TX. BC dx 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 9:40 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I am so very sorry they were not able to drain you and you are still in pain. To put it mildly, it sucks. There are days I want to use stronger words for cancer but don't as if curse words had anti-cancer properties I never would have got cancer in the first place.
May you soon get some relief, whether through drugs or some procedure.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 9:41 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I'm praying for you too. Miracles happen everyday! Try and stay positive.

Sent by Tracy | 9:44 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

To read your post today was like getting a punch in the gut. I am so sorry for the pain and the not so good news. I pray other options/solutions will show themselves soon. Bless you and Laurie, and everyone here.

Sent by Connie | 9:46 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Oh Leroy, what to say....words fail me. I consider you a part of my family, and start my day reading your blog. Please know that you are in my every prayer, my greatest hopes, for comfort,continued strength and hope.

Sent by Lesa in Kansas | 9:46 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Oh Leroy. I wish I could give you a hug right now. Reading the blogs from others today shows how much you mean to so many and so many anquish with you over this news. There are no words.

I layed in bed this morning thinking about a day at the hospital with my son. It was just him and I as his father had to work (we took turns taking time off). The doctor said the chemo wasn't keeping up with the growth of the cancer and it didn't make sense to them to keep giving the chemo but if he wanted to keep trying he could. So he did. But that was the day I not only dreaded, but also the day my hope started to dwindle. At the Cancer Treatment Center hope is what they give the most of.

Neither one of us spoke on the way home. I feel your sadness.

I will pray for wisdom for your doctors and peace of mind for you and your family.

Thank you for still talking to us even though you are going through rough times. You are amazing!

Sincerely,

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 9:46 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leory, we're all sorry to hear it's a bad day for you. Stuff happens. But, you know, there's always something we can do - we can hope, we can pray, we can be thankful for what we've been given, we can rejoice we have the here and now. My hopes, my thoughts, and my prayers are with you.

Sent by Joyce | 9:47 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie, my heart aches for the type of horriffic day you had yesterday and for the emotional pain that radiates from your blog today. Have the MD's tried a CADD pump to give you consistent pain medications with something for breakthrough pain?? I wish you and Laurie some peaceful and loving times as you continue on your journey. Thank you for allowing us on your journey. Sending you peace and prayers.

Sent by Karen | 9:49 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
Let's not call it a bad day--it is just a different day. Your strength and the strength of everyone here will carry you onto the next day, and the next, and so forth. Even on the darkest day, we always must remember--there is a new day on the horizon. And even though we can never know what that new day brings, we can't ever allow ourselves to get stuck.
That is what got me through my father's sudden death and my mother-in-law's long battle with ovarian cancer.

Sent by Kathleen | 9:52 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, Thank you for sharing your journey with me. I was CAREGIVER for my 29 year old daughter who succumbed to ovarian cancer in October. Your courage to share the ups and the downs brought hope to Krista and me. When we decided to bring her home with hospice, we were blessed by the last days we spent together. She no longer had to worry about what next painful procedure to try. She rested in the middle of our living room, listening to the rain, watching football, being loved by those she cared for so much. She joked until the day she passed away in my arms. What a blessing for me that I was here the day she came to this earth, and I was with her the day she returned to heaven. She no longer suffers and she is perfectly healed. Thank you, Leroy, for your brave fight. Thank you for sharing. Don't know you, but I love you and will continue to pray.

Sent by Pam | 9:53 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Oh Leroy,

This sucks and makes me very sad, but I will not give up hope for you.

Keep your family and dear friends close and drink up their love and support. The only way I know to give back to you even a fraction of what you have given to all of us, is to send love and positive energy your way. Here it comes.

You are so very loved and cared about.
Laurel M. Jones

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 9:56 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear, dear Leroy - my first time posting too, but I have lurked here for a very long time. Other people always seem to say what I'm thinking so it seems unnecessary to retiterate. But today feels different; So: I cannot tell you how many times I have prayed for you, chuckled over your emails and darn near cried (yesterday was one of them). I really GRIEVED for Stephanie - and I am grieving for your sadness. May your indomitable spirit get you past this hump in the road. Like another perceptive person wrote - I don't know how I came to care so much, but please know - I do.

Sent by Kelly D | 10:00 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I'm thinking about you always and will pray for some relief and solution. I never give up on the doctors. Sometimes they are truly magical.

Sent by Lisa | 10:02 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Very sorry to hear about your weight loss and that the fluid could not be drained from your lung area. That must be a major diappointment.

Praying for one of those docs to find the right medicine for you. Hang in there Leroy.

Sent by Irene | 10:02 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I find after a bad day that that my soul is soothed by watching the sun rise. The constancy of dawn's beauty always seem to help. I'll be holding you in my thoughts as I watch the sun come up over the Pacific.

Sent by Alicia in California | 10:04 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Oh cr*p. I'm sorry, Leroy. I wish they could at least ease your pain.

(((((big hug)))))))

Sent by Karole Ives, Duluth MN | 10:09 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy: Like the rest, I'm at a loss as to what to say. You are in my thoughts today.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 10:10 AM ET | 01-09-2008

"Damn, damn, damn, dman!" - Professor Henry Higgins in the musical "My Fair Lady"

Leroy and Laurie, please feel our love for both of you and draw strength from it, as you consider your next steps.

Sent by Sheara | 10:12 AM ET | 01-09-2008

This is my first post as well. Please keep fighting. It is the bad days, that give us pause. Take in all the positive energy, love and prayers that are being sent your way, use it as your fuel to PUSH THROUGH! Your endless optimism - that you share with us, helps us all. Bad days, even more, are when you need to believe it yourself. My prayers and positive energies are being sent to you always, please embrase it....Always!

Sent by Marianne Ford | 10:14 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Thank you for your directness and raw honesty, Leroy. You are made of such fine stuff! I am sorry you endured painful procedures only to get less than the hoped for news. But I remain grateful for your open and honest communication with the other members of your care team. Like you, I rely on unvarnished truth to make my health care and other decisions. I know bodies and spirits can reverse course and provide amazing changes for reasons no one can nail down. Whether or not you get that change of course, or whether you are in fact near the end of the box of miracles that have bought so much fine and luminous time, I stand with you in fierce, spirited solidarity. You are held in the light and wrapped in a loving community who treasures your physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual presence in our midst. I hope you know that many will still treasure your presence long after you lay your weary body down and fly free of pain and worry. You are you, and you are luminous, and you are never-ending. The rest? Just details in a physical realm that we love and delight in. Not easy to let it go, but it is just one portion of our journey. You are treasured beyond such incidental details. Let us know if there is anything more concrete we may do on your behalf that support, prayer, love, energy, meditation, and holding you in healing light. I believe you will be given what you need for every step of your journey to perfect healing -- whatever route that journey takes. And if you ever need to stop writing to reserve your energies for your own highest well-being, or that of your family and close friends, please do not hesitate to do so. This is YOUR life, and as much as we love the ways you have shared with us all, your getting the best measure every single day is what matters most to me, and I dare believe of all who read your daily essays. You are a luminous being, and you will continue to rise, regardless what happens to your body. Tend your heart well, Friend. Give yourself extra care and gentleness now.

Sent by Sarah | 10:16 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I hesitate to write this but I feel it needs to be said.

It's OK not to fight. Sometimes it's not just OK, it's the better choice.

My husband died in April after a 17-month struggle with cancer. We fought it to the very end, with all the weapons in our arsenal. It felt like the heroic, optimistic thing to do at the time. Surely there's a medical miracle coming!

I wish now that we had had the courage to rest. To stop the brutal treatments that failed to work again and again. To gently wait for the end with as much quality of life as we could manage.

I was the one always looking for the next potential cure, and I suspect my husband kept up the fight less for himself than for me and our son. He did not fear death. I feared giving up.

The cancer/warfare analogy is useful up to a point. It gives us strength and determination to fight. But the metaphor harms us when it leads us to believe that not fighting is surrender. That we're letting cancer win.

My husband begged me not to use the phrase "lost his battle to cancer" in his obituary. Cancer never won his spirit. Cancer never took away the essense of who he was. In the end, he left cancer behind in that poor, tortured body.

I just wish it had happened peacefully, at home, instead of in a hospital bed.

Sent by Jane | 10:19 AM ET | 01-09-2008

This brought back to me that awful day when I had to listen to the exact and lucid description of exactly where my cancer was and what dangers it presented. I don't think I'd ever felt before that "heart in my throat the whole time" adage first hand before. But I surely did that day. I began reading your blog when my sister sent it to me and I had decided not to do a support group. This was my way of having a touchstone with the reality of having cancer on a daily basis without going into a group therapy kind of mode. I wanted to know what might be facing me down the line. I didn't want to waste time in denial. This blog has given me that. We are all on the same cancer road here but we're all on different cross streets until we meet at the end. My thoughts are with you today, LeRoy. I wish I had a way to make this day less painful for you. carol

Sent by carol irvin | 10:21 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
Just rest right now, get the pain meds going again. What needs to be done next will come to you. You are in good hands with love surrounding you from all of us and from your inner circle of loved ones. It's been an emotional roller coaster with the surgery, the pain, the anticipation of this procedure offering relief. It's time to rest a bit and regroup. You are in my prayers.

Kate

Sent by Kate Fuehrer | 10:24 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
This was written about Peter Barton, but it also speaks of you, "Some people are born to lead and destined to teach by the example of living life to the fullest, and facing death with uncommon honesty and courage." Leroy, you are that kind of person.

As a twice survivor of breast cancer your writings have helped me in so many ways to live my life to the fullest. Never doubt your positive effect on so many people.

All love and support,
Joni

Sent by Joni Venticinque | 10:28 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy some days aren't good days.
We are all still behind you and sending our support and love.
There may still be a miracle in that box, don't give up hope.

Sent by Brit | 10:29 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy.. I believe that wherever this journey takes you, you will be rewarded. You're a good man, Mr. Sievers.

Sent by Sharon | 10:35 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
Everyday I look forward to hearing from you. We all feel as though we know you so personally. Your pain is ours also. This has not been a good week so far, has it? Hope it helps you to know you are still touching so many positively while you are experiencing so much negatively.
Wendy Narzem

Sent by wendy Narzem | 10:35 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
The miracle box is never empty although it often seems that way. Several of us went to Lourdes a few years back. In all honesty there were no visible cures among our group but all were healed. There were, in fact, many miracles, large and small. Hope springs eternal.
Love & prayers,
Kathleen

Sent by Kathleen | 10:35 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy
Thinking of you and praying that you feel the peace and the love of God. You are a shining light for us.

Sent by Miriam | 10:38 AM ET | 01-09-2008

We are all here for you Leroy. Keep it coming.

Sent by Carolyn | 10:39 AM ET | 01-09-2008

LeRoy and Laurie - I just wanted to add my words of love and support to you, and all of the others who are fighting their best fight.

Please know that you are being lifted up!

Sent by Sue Hoppe | 10:40 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leory.I am thinking of you.My husband has cancer and was to have a bmt thursday but we had the call yesterday that the cancer is back.So he will do another round of chemo It has been a long journey 2 years and I know he is getting tired but like you he has not given up.I started watch your blog everyday and enjoy your wit.We will keep you in our prayers

Sent by Kathy | 10:41 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
What a disappointment. So sorry to hear the procedure was not only very painful, but unsuccessful as well. I hope you can find a bit of respite today.

Sent by LindaK | 10:42 AM ET | 01-09-2008

It is difficult to know that you are suffering so much. When I was in the hospital last year it broke my heart to know that my family was hurting so much. I wish I could think of some words that would make you feel better. If God can perform the miracle of replenishing the wine in the jugs for the wedding then hopefully he can replenish the box of miracles so that you will feel better. Your blog also brought me to tears and I will pray that you feel better.

Sent by Linda | 10:44 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, So sorry for the tough day yesterday. I hope things look and feel a little bit better and more hopeful today.

Sent by Marilyn | 10:45 AM ET | 01-09-2008

This isn't the end... but the beginning... we should think like this all the time (wish I'd remember that when things get a tad bit overwhelming). I'll keep praying for you, hoping that God gives you all the strength and time you need to accomplish all you need to in this life. I'm sure God will. :)

Sent by Sandra S. | 10:45 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm really sorry to hear that the procedure didn't go well, and I'm pulling for you. You've been an inspiration to me, so thank you for that. And perhaps there's an oncologist or surgeon out there who has another trick up their sleeve? I'm a big, big believer in second and third opinions and hoping that somebody else (either at your hospital or elsewhere) has some other ideas that you can try.

Sent by Matt | 10:46 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I am so sorry about all the disappointing news yesterday, Leroy. I am praying for you and your family. I pray that your oncologist will come up with some options for you.

Sent by Jen | 10:50 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I just need to add my sentiments to all the others posted. I am so sorry for your pain and for the dwindling options available. I am a fan from your Nightline days ( I was one of many who preferred the longer form e-mails, that's how I got to feel I knew you). I have not had cancer, but my Dad died of a rare form back in the 1950's. I was just 11, and folks didn't talk about it then and my Mother never spoke of what they went through either. Your words have given me some small insight into what my Dad experienced. I thank you for that, your courage to tell you story has helped more people than you can imagine. I'll be thinking and praying for you, and checking in daily too.

Sent by Linda | 10:52 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Sarah (10:16 AM ET | 01-09-2008) your words to Leroy express eloquently what I wish I could express also. Leroy and Laurie know that you have this wonderful blog community that upholds you every single day. I continue to pray for peace and wholeness for you both. Know we care, Jeri |

Sent by jeri | 10:56 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Mr. Sievers, I am so sad to read what you are going through physically and emotionally. I have the highest respect your grace and your honesty.

I know from my own experiences with this monster that acceptance of what we do not control and finding peace in "what is" can be a beautiful and satisfying thing...a miracle in itself.
However...you posted just this week that it wasn't your time yet. I believed that you believed it then, and that was just a couple of days ago. I hope you don't let logic take that inner faith away from you if it still serves you well. You just don't seem to be inclined to let this run it's course without fighting it every step of the way.

If there are no more good conventional treatment options, what about throwing yourself into a few unconventional ones? You never know...

Regardless of what you decide to do or not do, you have complete support and understanding on this site....and prayers...a lot of prayers.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 10:58 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie,

I read today's post, and it leaves me not knowing what to say. But those of us in "the cancer club" have learned that it is still better to say something than to avoid. I'm sorry for your tough and painful day yesterday, both physically and spiritually. I thank you for sharing the truth of this journey and therefore making it okay for the rest of us to acknowledge ours too. I hope you can start your Advil again (I think that was the pain med that was helping you) and that it works quickly. Beyond that, you and Laurie and your doctors will decide what to do next. Whatever that is, we love you and we support you -- and we are all very thankful for you.

Leslie

Sent by Leslie Tsui | 10:59 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, yesterday I nearly panicked. I went to the dr and was 198 lbs plus some ounces. I thought I was also losing weight too fast. Heck, did I ever think I'd do that? No... My dear, I have a nephew who's grandma first had a hysterectomy, then double mastectomy, had her voice box removed and then had one lung removed. She still smokes and drinks vodka most every day. All surgeries were from cancer beginning many years back. Her grandchildren say it's the vodka that has pickled her. I say, "Miracles do happen". So, I'm sitting back waiting for yours to be seen once again. I pray your day goes better. I'm sure if all those who'd like to give you hugs through their computer screens, you'd be crushed with so many of them. Mine included! Later...

Sent by Linda | 11:03 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Rest for gods sake rest.Take your pain meds-watch the wind outside,and rest.

Bless you and Laurie

Sent by Susan | 11:03 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Stand and perservere in your faith; Your final mirical will be when you let it all go - all the pain, anguish, concerns and haraches; relax, breath deeply stretch out and go on... Many prayers are with you and your family.

Sent by Janet S. Lahm | 11:04 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Bummer, bummer, bummer.

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 11:08 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I'll hope that you get what you need, whatever that might be.

Sent by Celeste | 11:08 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I can't tell you how sorry I am for what you are enduring. You sound like a pioneer and there will be many people who will benefit from this for years to come. I thank a friend each time I talk to her, for what her husband endured in the early chemo days & how things have changed since those days. However; that doesn't change what you are dealing with now. Last night my son came over to tell me about a scare he's having - NY day in ER & now waiting for scan results. Truly I believe - LIVING w/this disease. I can only wish you well.

Sent by Joan P | 11:08 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I deeply appreciate and honor your honesty and courage. I am so sorry things are look so tough now. You are in my prayers.

Sent by Debbie Graham | 11:13 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, your sharing has encouraged so many people to creatively deal with their own disease,or to carefully listen to others battling cancer,or to gently support their own grieving. Your writing has reminded me, as someone once said,: cancer is so limited.It can't cripple love, or shatter hope. It can't corrode faith or destroy peace. It can neither kill friendship nor suppress memories. It can't silence courage or steal eternal life. Cancer can not conquer the spirit.

Treat yourself gently, Leroy, and listen to your spirit's wisdom.

Sent by Kay S from PA | 11:14 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Thinking of you, Leroy, as always.

Sent by Denise | 11:15 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
I have never responded to your blog before today. Your gifts to strangers have been so many and so great that I feel unable to thank you adequately. I know you have said before that somehow the support has carried you over some rough spots.

Feel that love and support now... and allow it to prop you up as you trudge bravely into uncharted terriorties.

with warm affection for both you and laurie,
esther louise

Sent by esther louise | 11:16 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Remain hopeful.
With care, Anne

Sent by anne lumberger | 11:19 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
God's miracle box is never empty.....there is always one more.
God Bless and keep you safe.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 11:20 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this, and plus not having any answers to why you feel the way you do, sucks. I wish you well.

Sent by Debbie | 11:21 AM ET | 01-09-2008

What can we say? I fear this. My mom is fighting a courageous battle with Stage 4 lung cancer, non-smoker. She is in her second set of experimental treatments. So far so good. I fear and dread the day that the miracles in the box are gone. We, as caregivers, feel we need to help them fight. Fight for us mostly and fight for them to be here as long as possible. As a previous poster stated, maybe one day it is ok to just be. Enjoy the qualtiy of the life not the quantity. I still dread it though. Time is too short, and never enough. We still have some miracles left in the box, as you do too. It is just finding it and realizing it. I recently signed up for a Breast Cancer walk with Avon. I am touched at the response I have been getting, I only hope that one day this money will help someone not to have to suffer. I will post a link so that you may see my beautiful mother. She is amazing.
http://info.avonfoundation.org/site/TR/Walk2008/Houston?px=3820988&pg=personal&fr_id=1420&et=e5gsm0sS26WORB-i3j2kTw..&s_tafId=232528
God Bless, and we pray.

Sent by Gina B | 11:21 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
I am sorry to hear your news. I pray that you will get relief from the pain and some rest and restoration. I pray your medical team is looking for answers for you.
Your news touches an unknown fear in me...the not knowing when "it" will return and how the game will play out.
Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly and openly with us. You are a brave man.
I, too, love you even though we have never met. When I saw you on the TV special you touched my heart. You have such a gentle quality in you.
Take very good care of yourself and enjoy your family and friends.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 11:22 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I wish I could offer you my hand to hold.

You're in my thoughts...

Sent by Marsha G | 11:25 AM ET | 01-09-2008

CRUD! Sorry for the bad day. Keep on looking at all options and I hope they can come up with more. My best wishes.

Sent by Jenene K. | 11:31 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Larry, how about asking your docs for a thoracic epidural to help you with the chest pain: local anesthesia with or without opioids. That way you could be comfortable with less sedation or other side effects from strong narcotics. And yes, I do understand that the local into the chest cavity HURTS, even when done by a skilled person. Bless you.....hang in there. The pain docs still have lots of tricks to offer you, and you're in a great place to get that kind of sophisticated help. You don't have to accept the pain.

Sent by Dr. Nancy Glass | 11:32 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm sending love your way, Leroy.

Sent by Colleen | 11:32 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Hi Leroy. I came across your blog whilst investigating my own cancer a couple of weeks ago. Only a little younger than yourself I feel that I have discovered my own shadow, cast from these many thousands of miles away in England. I started reading your blogs from the very first one having discovered that your emotions and bloody-minded stubborness were so very much like my own. Your philosophy, strengths and tenacity I applaud as a kindred spirit. When we have visited those dark places of despair there is only one way for us to go and that is back up to the light because that is where the life is. As you have said, there is far more living out there to be done. So, like the day we were told that we have an incurable disease and we look around us to see all that we stand to lose, from the mundane chores to the highest of loves from our family. We chose to bounce back then and challenge all the presumptions about our health. Now again is one of those times to look to the light, take life by the balls ( I can say that because I'm English and it is MY language!) and move on to tomorrow with a smile on the face.
It goes without saying that my thoughts are with you and your family. Although not very religous, despite all of my friends apparently taking the time to ensure that I get a good hearing upstairs with the Big Man, I too would like to put in a good word for a good man.
Stubborn is good. It is the way we are and it has proven it's use over the years. Depite my diagnosis I refuse to give up my karate training. It helps with the repressed anger and I love seeing the look of incredulity from my peers when I plant the sole of my foot against their head. As long as the stitches hold I have no problem! My hopes are that you can reach out once again...you appear to have half of the planet on your side after all, and the Big Man must be going deaf with all that love and praying going on. Your family has just grown by one today. When can I come round for dinner?

Sent by Richard C (London, England) | 11:36 AM ET | 01-09-2008

The sun is shinning here and not a cloud in the sky. I checked your blog first hoping to hear good news about your procedure. I have stopped sobbing now in order to keep the tears from soaking my robe. My eyelashes, which used to stop the tears, are all gone now from Taxol.

You must choose your own course as much as I want you to fight, fight, fight. Know that we love you and support you and pray for you. I do believe that there must be another treatment another procedure. I pray that there is. Please don't give up now. Let the doctors put their heads together and see what they come up with.

I pray that you are able to control the pain today and that the suns shines for you also. It's amazing what some sunshine can do.

Sent by Carol, in Nashville | 11:46 AM ET | 01-09-2008

I too have not posted before...but have followed your blog for quite a while now. I battled cancer about 4 years ago myself. I was fortunate they caught it early. But, you never forget and your life truly is never the same again. My heart goes out to you Larry. And, I also want to thank you so very much for all that you have shared and will continue to share in regards to your personal journey. As someone else said, your a good man and it shows in every word you write.

Peace, Diane

Sent by Diane wiley | 11:46 AM ET | 01-09-2008

There IS Always HOPE and Miracles. Never Give in or give up! GODSPEED!

Sent by Joanie, Front Royal, Va | 11:47 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

I am saying my prayers for you, Laurie, and the doctors. Somewhere in that combination I hope the doctors will be inspired to find something that works.

Sent by Geoff | 11:47 AM ET | 01-09-2008

You know, Leroy, you have created a "bold new world" for so many cancer sufferers, their family and friends. I count myself lucky to have learned of your blog over a year ago. We love you, pray for you and hope for one more miracle to fall out of the box!

Sent by Betty O'Connor | 11:49 AM ET | 01-09-2008

If realizing how much you have done for so many people and knowing the love and support that is surounding you lessens the pain, wallow in it, Leroy, roll above it, whatever, we are all indebted to you for your honest articulation. God be with you.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 11:51 AM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, all I can do is say if I were there I'd sit with you and hold your hand. Of course I'm hoping for a miracle, a new treatment; something! but whatever happens I am with you.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 12:02 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I have been reading your blog daily since my husband heard about it on NPR shortly after we found out my Mom had Pancreatic Cancer Phase 4 June 2006. She passed April Fool's 2007. Your column then and now helps brings so much hope and understanding. You have done a wonderful thing with your blog Leroy. You and Laurie are in my prayers. Your strength, humor and insight are so valuable - I wish you both peace. Sharon Viscito

Sent by Sharon Viscito | 12:04 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Today is the first day your blog made me cry. Maybe cause I am doing well,right now, with my incurable cancer and I feel guilty,somehow, that you are suffering . Maybe because i feel frustrated modern medicine can't help some patient's pain. Maybe cause I have experienced severe physical pain in my life(in the past, not related to the cancer) and I have a traumatic-association fear of experiencing it again.Maybe cause you are such a great guy, who has lived a very interesting life and this all just really, really sucks.Maybe you had a real bad day, and i wish we could all help somehow, making today better.

Sent by NancyGM | 12:05 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

Your news is like a body blow. Please know that there are so many who hold you up in thoughts and prayers. You are a long distance runner, pace yourself.

Sent by Linda | 12:05 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, sending thoughts and hope your way! Krupali

Sent by Krupali Tejura | 12:12 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
I am so sorry to hear about yesterday. I "watch" you suffer through this disease and what amazes me is your ability to put one foot in front of the other and take each minute as it comes. It is a lesson for all of us; all we have is now, this moment. Worrying about yesterday or tomorrow is pointless. Life is in the present moment You are here now. Dante in the Divine Comedy wrote: "In His will is our peace." My prayer for you today is relief from the pain, and peace.

Sent by Marsha N. | 12:14 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I am sorry to read your news-but you are so helpful to all of us and we are all behind you!!

Sent by Donna | 12:14 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
My thoughts are with you. My brother's friends were Buddhists and when he was sick, they chanted for him around the world. I think you have all the best buzz going around the world for you to heal.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 12:15 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Crap! You've been in this situation before and have always found a new path. Time to regroup and you'll see, a new door will open. I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. Even on a bad day such as this, you are still hysterical. You tell it like it is and it brings such tears of joy, laughter, and sadness because we can all relate.
When I found out that I had breast cancer and that my greatest risk for recurrance would be in the next three to five years, amongst the tears that my husband and I were shedding, we both looked at each other and laughed and said ,"Well be are both impatient people, so at least we will know if the treatment worked pretty quickly." While most people can't find humor in this, my husband and I have always tried to lighten up the situation with humor because frankly we are too scared to face the hard facts.
This too shall pass for you. A new day will dawn and you'll feel better.

Sent by jen barad | 12:24 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Like Hilarey we have to find a new stradigy to overcome.
I find when something bad is happening in my life there is something good happening at the same time.
I have come to love you and your heroic journey and start my day checking in with you. You are like a marathoner in that you overcome whatever obstical in your way. I'm not quitting you. peg

Sent by Peg Heglund | 12:24 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I think about you every day. I have to agree with a earlier comment made... I have never met you yet I feel as though I know you so personally through not only the blog but the piece that aired on TV.

I believe that things happen for a reason, whether good news or bad news and that something positive can come from many types of situations.

You are in my thoughts and prayers....

Jennifer

Sent by Jennifer White | 12:31 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

I have followed your blog since seeing your special on the Discovery Channel. I was diagnosed with Stage III Colon Cancer in March '07, and just finished chemo about two months ago. While none of us have aspired to be members of Cancer World, it is a club whose members I have grown to admire and respect more on a daily basis. You, Stephanie and others on this blog have shown us that this fight can be fought with dignity, grace and strength, despite the anger that this disease can muster.

You are in my thoughts and prayers today, as in many other days. My best to you and Laurie.

Sent by R.W. McDonald Oregon | 12:31 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Even though the box of medical miracles appear to be running out, the box of miracles of love and friendship is overflowing for you, Leroy. I hope today and tomorrow are better and less painful. We think of you every day. We are on a similar path and think of you as a companion.
Courage.

Sent by Ceese Stickles | 12:32 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
Please know that you are in my thoughts. I also want to thank you for starting and continuing this blog through every part of your journey. It takes tremendous courage and spirit. For me, this blog has been integral in the understanding of my mother's experience with cancer and accepting her death. The death of one's parent is a life altering event. My hope is that through the wisdom and candor shared on this blog, her death will be a transformative event that causes me to live life differently. To recognize that my life is now and is largely about how I take in and experience the "little things", rather than impatiently waiting for the next big event. I am surprised by how often I think of you, and about your pre-cancer life or how I imagine it to have been. At times I find myself wondering what you thought of such things as Benazir Bhutto's assination, but know that is not what the blog will be about. You are doing much more difficult work these days. You are intimately touching the lives of so many people and giving hope and strength to many of us who badly need it. You have approached life with cancer with the same fierce determination and purpose that has driven you your entire life and I thank you for this. As you know, we are with you through the duration of your journey. God bless you my friend.

Sent by Holly Gaenzle | 12:37 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Oh Leroy, I'm so very sorry for your pain. I hope you can go to a pain management clinic, they can really be of help. Also, don't be afraid to contact Hospice. This doesn't mean you are giving up, nor does it mean you're dying. They have a lot of experience managing pain.

Chronic pain is an awful thing to endure. I hope and pray the next thing you try is the ticket to comfort.

Sent by Karen D. | 12:39 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I am so sorry to hear that the procedure wasn't successful. I feel a lot like Melissa T, wanting to offer ideas and advice. This may be a long shot, but what about a journey to the Basilica of Lourdes or another sanctuary? Crazy sounding as it might be...or perhaps for pain treatment foot reflexology...I've heard that it can be really beneficial for cancer patients.
All my positive thoughts and prayers are being sent to you. Liz

Sent by Liz J. | 12:45 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I read your blog every day Leroy and this was a tough one. Please know we are all thinking and praying for you and we also all know that you'll keep fighting.

Sent by Jamie | 12:50 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Ouch. On both a physical and existential level. What a week this has been for you - - the loss of your friends, and now this. Just when you think it can't get worse, it does.

Everyone else has already spoken so eloquently about how much we all in this community love you and care about you. So i won't even try to add anything profound. Just please know that as i came to love Stephanie through your (and then her ) blog, I have come to know and love you. Stephanie taught us all a great lesson - - how to live fully, and how to take one's final steps with the same strength and grace.

Now that i have stopped crying (been doing a lot of that this week, it seems), I want you to know that my thoughts are with you and Laurie. And i am sure that i speak for all of us when I say that if there is EVER anything that any of us can do for YOU, all you have to do is say the word - - we will all be there.

Sent by Suzanne in Houston | 12:54 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I join the hundreds of blogers before me when I say you have become a member of my family and I want you to be painfree and cancerfree once again. My prayers are with you!!!

Sent by Pat Doyle | 12:55 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy - That's some news you got. I'm hoping that box of miracles isn't quite empty. You're in my thoughts.

Sent by Elona | 12:56 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Everyone here loves you so! You mean so much to each of us.

I hope that you will spend 5 minutes outside in the unusual warmth (I believe you have it too in the DC area). Breath in the fresh air and gather some strength for another day.

We are all heartbroken over this setback. Heartbroken that you are suffering this blow. We all wish we could do something - anything - to make it better.

Let's hope for a hat trick.

Every day I also wake to read your blog. I hope that tomorrow is a better day.

Sent by Liz L. | 12:56 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, I must add my name to the long list of others who are so saddened by the news you received yesterday. You have provided so much to all of us and it is so easy to love you, my friend. I would like to echo the words of Sarah,10:16, 1-9-08. Joyce Hughes

Sent by Joyce G. Hughes | 12:56 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Jane, thank you for your wisdom. So very sorry for your loss.

Sent by Marilyn | 12:57 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
I wish I could put my arms around you right now in a long, gentle hug-- or wrap you in a soft comforter. As others have said, I love you even though we've never met. That sounds tacky and tabloid-ish, but it is true.You are in my heart and will remain there. Sometimes we have to accept what is -- but I continue to pray for a miracle for you, and for your pain to go away and your mind to be at peace. Your courage, grace, and generosity in sharing this journey with all of us continue to amaze. I know you are human; you have your moments of sadness and fear and anger. But reading your words and the postings of some others here over the past couple of years have often relieved my own fear and given me hope.Thank you.We are all here for you now.

Sent by Doris | 12:57 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
We used to have tough moments with Officer Michealson as kids in SM....remember? Thought we would not see the light of day. However, with fancy footwork and luck we somehow managed to get out of trouble. Seems like a very difficult spot at the moment, but, faith, positive attitude and never giving up is what you have always been about. You have many strong wishes and thoughts behind you....more than you realize. Hang tough my friend.

SMHS '73 to Victory!!

Sent by Tom Haralambos | 1:01 PM ET | 01-09-2008

No words can make this better. I love and admire you for sharing.

Sent by Linda Bongardino | 1:01 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,

I'm writing this post with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry to hear that the procedure did not go well. Please be aware that when I pray for my husband (who has been fighing lung mets for two years) I include you, Laurie and everyone on this blog in my prayers. May God bless us all.

Take care of yourself dear friend and I hope you get some relief from the pain.

Sent by sasha | 1:09 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy

My name is Morris Trujillo but all my friends just call me Moe. I???ve been in treatment for colon cancer since Aug 06. Reading your articles have meant so much to me. I just wanted to wish you as well as all of us God???s Blessings on our journey through this experience. You are in my prayers.

Sincerely Yours
Moe

Sent by Morris J. Trujillo | 1:17 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie,

One bad day does not have to equal several bad days - there might be more information out there but until the doctors find it maybe it is time for a philly sub and a mai tai.

We are all thinking positive thoughts!

Sent by LJ | 1:20 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Aw shit.
That about sums it up.
Just keep doing your best.
Tim

Sent by Tim | 1:26 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy.. God is still works miracles. Don't look to others or your situation -- look to Him!
Keep the faith, we all draw on your strength. A twice cancer survivor!

Sent by Jo Ann | 1:28 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and all, please don't give up hope, sometimes it is all we have to hold onto...Prayers and God's Blessings!
Laurie

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 1:30 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy....
Remember ...The King still has one more move.
Wishing you pain relief and comfort.
Continuing to pray for your life to be sustained.

Sent by bethann | 1:32 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
"Words are all we have," Samuel Beckett said.
But hearing this news from you, my virtual friend, leaves me with no words, save one.

Courage.

Carolyn Briggs

Sent by carolyn briggs | 1:32 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm so so sorry, Leroy and Laurie. You are, of course, living our own worst fears...your courage and honesty in expressing your darkest moments open our hearts and make us tremble, and, I think, help us be brave in our own struggles. I hope you will take the advice of some of the medical people here who've suggested various pain relief strategies. I wish you freedom from pain as you lean into this next obstacle on your warrior's journey. Rebecca from Montana

Sent by Rebecca Bauder | 1:37 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dearest Leroy and Laurie:
Like the others who have written, please accept my sympathy as well as empathy for your pain and disease. Although you do not know me, I am among the invisibile supporters who cry and laugh with your so very touching blog.

Rather than sending telepathic thoughts and prayers your way, I thought I would actually write you this time when things seem somewhat dismal. As a Stage III breast cancer survivor facing possible brain and lung mets, I ride that cancer roller coaster. More often than I want, my stomach lurches to the bottom of my toes as this ride jerks around a corner while I await the results of yet another PET Scan or MRI. And, of course, my immune system is still crabby from chemo and radiation 3 years ago. When I feel rotten sick, I reach out and clutch things such as your blog (thank you); family, friends, hilarious talks with my Creator; or childhood stories like Dumbo and his "magic feather", the little engine that could or even Casey and his swinging Bat,so I stay in the game of life even on the truly terrible days.
During such times, I recite lines from one of the first poems I ever learned:
Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
and sings the tune without the words
and doesn't stop at all.
Somedays, we all hold on by just one feather.Perhaps your box of miracles is a nesting box. Look again, maybe somthing small and fluffy as light as a whisper may fall into your open hands.
Many Blessings to you and yours.

Sent by Anna M. Ochoa, J.D. | 1:40 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

I just want to let you know that I care very much, and am another among many who want show you my support and to help you somehow. There really aren't any words that can help enough to fix it. I hope your doctors are able to find something.

Sent by Lilly T. | 1:49 PM ET | 01-09-2008

It is still amazing to me to think that through this cyber media we have been blessed to ???meet??? and love this gentle man. We would have never known your story or Stephanie???s; maybe in a passing news blurb. Leroy you have touched my life and as a fellow cancer sufferer, I have gained strength and courage from your posts and you emails. It has been a long two years and Stephanie???s journey here is over. I pray you will find the strength to keep on fighting, I still believe in miracles.

For Stephanie: Captured angel aching to make your break...fly now, fly now.

Sent by Patti G. | 2:02 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I am sorry, I hope tomorrow will be better. I like the comment " We can still pray."

Sent by cv | 2:03 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I am so frustrated because I cannot help you that I must refrain from writing anything because my comments are screened out of this blog because they are so negative about the Medical profession and Drug companies.
They reach out hope and inspiration to you and then dash you down again. That is not good for your healing. Today Jane said it best and I will defer to her wise comment about your situation. I do love you and respect so much the manner in which you handle yourself.
This too, shall pass and better days will come.

Sent by J C R | 2:09 PM ET | 01-09-2008

We're here for you Leroy - bless you!

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 2:10 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I am sorry yesterday was not a good day. Get something down you for the pain and try to get a little rest. Try to stay strong (I know this is easier said than done). Draw strength from all of us.

Laurie, you are not alone. We know it is hard for you also. Our prayers will be for both of you.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 2:13 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie - I can't add much to the 140 comments, just to say again how incredibly generous you are in sharing this all with us - good news and awful news, what my mom calls "good days and 'growing' days" (as in, thanks, I've had enough growing for now!)...you are in my thoughts.

Sent by Leigh Hough | 2:22 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, don't give up. Buy don't put yourself through any more pain. Let nature decide your fate. Call an old friend and see how they are doing. Have a glass of wine and read a favorate book. Tell Laurie how lucky you are to have her by your side. Enjoy what you have.

Sent by Ron | 2:24 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Hi Leroy-- Hope comes in many ways. I wish I had more to offer than my prayers. I wish both you hope and strength.
Jean

Sent by Jean | 2:30 PM ET | 01-09-2008

"We're not giving up". Thank God. I mean that literally. And, since I choose to believe in the Almighty Power of God, I'm pouring on the prayers for you, Laurie and especially right now - your doctors, to put their brilliant, caring heads together and come up asap with pain relief for you and a new plan of attack. Because "we're not giving up".

Sent by Janice J., Los Angeles | 2:40 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I really have no other words to say other than I'm just so sorry.

Sent by S A | 2:46 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I've read and enjoyed your blog for months now and never commented, but feel like I should now, if for no other reason than to thank you. I'm not a "techie" and should know far more than I do about technology and its many uses. Therefore, it's come as a surprise to me that I care so much about the fate of someone I've never met. But I do. Your voice can truly be heard in your writing and while your fight against cancer is yours alone, I hope knowing that so many care about you and your struggle will give you some measure of strength and peace. I'm a pray-er and will continue to pray for you and your loved ones.

Sent by Erin Vaughn | 2:49 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Just wanted to send a hug and a prayer....I have no great thoughts...only wish there was something I could say that could fix things....

Hugs
Deb C

Sent by Deb C | 2:58 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, "May you find strength, now, when you need it most." Pray that the doctors come up with something. We love you, don't give up, hang in there.

Sent by Ruth White | 3:01 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I think of you everyday and like you, a miracle is needed now. I wish the God who created us (which was also miraculous) could now hear our plea for a re-creation in healthy bodies. Stay strong and I know you will.

Sent by Ann Erdenberger | 3:02 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Jane (10:19 AM ET | 01-09-2008), thank you for having the courage to share the wisdom you and your husband earned through experience. It was a compassionate sharing that you made, and so welcome here!

Sent by Sarah | 3:13 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I can only echo what others have said, you mean so much to me, a woman who has never met you and has grown to love and admire you. Always, best love and thoughts to you and Laurie. Kathy from San Diego

Sent by Kathy Peacock | 3:19 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I check your blog every now & then but have never sent you my well wishes. You are an inspiration to me as you fight for life. I hope your pain will get better. I am so sorry you are suffering. God bless you.

Sent by G. Sullivan | 3:23 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I wish I could do something to help you. I read your blog everyday. You are amazing for sharing this painful time with all of us, and your blog has helped me cope with the diagnosis of both of my parents with cancer during the past year. Accept my prayers and hopes for finding the next miracle. Have they considered thoracoscopy to break up the fluid pockets? I will remember how painful the "numbing shots" are the next time I give them (I am a physician). Whatever comes next, we will all be with you.

Sent by Laura | 3:24 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I wish there was some sort of magic I could send your way that would bring the treatment you need into existence. Anything else I can offer seems inadequate. But, I do send my prayers and good wishes that you find strength, relief from pain, comfort from family and friends, a new treatment on the horizon - whatever you need right now. You've touched many people as you've shared your journey and we're all with you now.

Sent by Amy | 3:32 PM ET | 01-09-2008

We can still hope. Never, ever give up. I am sorry for the outcome of yesterday but it seems with you around every corner there is a new opportunity! I will be praying for you.

Sent by Jmoyer | 3:38 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, I've been quietly following along with you on your journey. You've shared a lot of wisdom along the way and I want to thank you for letting us tag along.

I would wish for you another miracle, and another and another for as long as you need or want them.

Sent by nancy a | 3:44 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Not much to say except that I'm joining everyone else in keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Judith | 3:44 PM ET | 01-09-2008

My concerned thoughts are very much with you and your legion of fans, Leroy, and I am hoping that tomorrow brings better news, and respite from the pain. It sounds like there's some good advice there too, scattered among the huge outpouring of support and affection.
Wishing you well (literally and figuratively) from the other side of the Pond in Varese, Italy.

Sent by Maris | 3:46 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I wish we could all meet and I really would love to shake your hand, Leroy!!! I would love to thank you in person for all you and the others have done for me. I already posted here once today and I am back reading all the new posts. I think it would be terrific if we could all meet as a group and have a huge group hug!!! You would be right in the middle, Leroy!! Gods arm's would be around all of us I am sure of that. You are loved as you can tell from this blog - I have never met you but would give anything to have the chance!!!

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 3:47 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Keep your head up and that big ol' happy smile on your face. I miss ya.

Sent by Heather (your phlebotomist) | 3:51 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I am here with you, every step of the way.

Sent by Jane | 3:57 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie, As Robert from London said, The Lord must be awash with thoughts and prayers sent His way on your behalf. Mine is very specific...that, no matter what else happens, you are able to sleep comfortably tonight and everynight.

Sent by g | 4:02 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm so sorry this was a crap sandwich day. I hope at the very, very least you can get some control over the pain which might allow you a clear head to think out how to plan what you want to do and how you want to do it. I'm sorry things are going the wrong way.L.

Sent by Lisa Burt | 4:03 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Here is a nice place to express prayers for Leroy and Laurie.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=leroy

Sent by Nichole | 4:35 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy -- I am sad and mad at your news. My wife and I had the opportunity to meet you briefly when we were part of the studio audience for the cancer special Ted Koppel did with you, Lance Armstrong, and Elizabeth Edwards. It was a privilege for me to be there -- as a caregiver for my wife.

You should know that your life and your work - via this blog - has touched so many people in so many wonderful ways. You have set a new gold standard for the open discussion of a very difficult subject for patients and caregivers alike.

I am truly sorry for the news you got yesterday - but I am even more grateful for what you have done to help us all.

Thank you.

Sent by Joel Widder | 4:41 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Hoe you can feel the prayers of so many coming to you & Laurie.

Sent by Mary | 4:47 PM ET | 01-09-2008

WOW, this e-mail certainly triggered us all to come out of the woodwork and let you know how important you are in our lives. Hugs and prayers are sent in hopes of bringing you peace and comfort during this setback. You're one amazing human being. Like so many have said, I wish we could all take a piece of your pain, so you could be pain-free. Thank you for sharing from your heart.

Sent by Elaine S. | 5:02 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I am saying some super prayers for you. I know you are strong and we're all pulling for you.

This quote reminds me of you-
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein

Thank you.

Rachel

iamobsessedwithlife.blogspot.com

Sent by Rachel B | 5:33 PM ET | 01-09-2008

leroy, hospice can help so much. good home hospice is a brilliant resource to contribute to your comfort on your own terms. my sister & i were caregivers to my father while he was in hospice at home. we wanted him to feel cared for by professionals; never to feel vulnerable or afraid; and to have *immediate* access to pain control no matter what time of day he needed it. hospice gave us all of that, plus the benefit of all of their experience and knowledge, plus a phone number that we could call 24/7. what they knew and what they provided helped us to help our dad, and to remain ourselves -- his daughters -- in his last weeks.

sometimes it's good to think about right now. this exact moment. what will help how you feel *now*.

love you guys, man. we will walk with you as far as we can.

Sent by mary | 5:42 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I am sorry that today is so rough.

Thank-You for having the courage, as always, to share your experience with us.

Prayers abound.
I hope you can "rest in them" tonight.

Sent by joyce | 5:43 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,
Days like these are difficult; they make us mad, they make us sad, they make us wonder what to do next. Like Jane, I have to say that sometimes you have to just let it be and "have the courage to rest". My husband died of AIDS in 1993, at age 46, when I was just 35. In time, I have realized that there are worse things than dying. There's nothing wrong with fighting and winning, or feeling hopeful and hopeless, and hoping (praying) for something new to try as well as realizing that it's time not to try anything new. Living day to day and really BEING with those you love, and who love you, is hard to beat. And, you live on - no matter what. You have been blessed by, and have blessed countless others with, this blog. We feel like we know you - and each other. I haven't written in a long time, but I've been here almost every day. This blog is a living being, almost, that will continue to have breath and life for a long time - in one way or another. Know that there is energy and love sent your way - and to everyone who is a part of this community. Rest for now and see what things look like in a few days. Maybe then you'll know what comes next. Meanwhile, know that you are truly loved and cared for.

Sent by Jan Richardson in Olympia, WA | 5:48 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I'm so sorry. Whatever you choose to do--or not do--we are with you.

A good friend of mine says that there is no justice in nature, that we get what we get and we do what we can with it. What you have done so far is incredible. Among many other things, you have shared your courage; be sure that the community you have helped build will follow your example and have the courage to stay with you through whatever comes next.

Sent by Jess | 5:53 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Once again the support system that sometimes sits on the side lines is back in the game. Every time you sound down, the game is on & the team takes the field. I too sit on the side lines most of the time, but I always read your blog. Sometimes I get strength from it & sometimes I cry & feel very sad. This has been a very sad week. First the deaths of your friends & now your own bad news. In my own cancer world it has been a stressful week as well due to my husband's PET/CT scan today. Now we wait for the results. His oncologist said there was no cure for his stage 4 lung cancer two years ago,just hope that he would stay alive long enough for a cure to be found. The boys in the basement better hurry. There comes a time when we have to call a time out in the game & there comes a time when we know the game is lost & we just let the clock run out. Then there are the ones who play the game right up to the last second hoping the hail mary pass will be caught & the game will be won. I have seen the game played both ways. The choice belongs to you Leroy & to my husband & to all of you who have to deal with this terrible disease every minute of every day. As the care giver, wife, friend, etc we can only block & hope you get free to catch that pass. We will all do our best for all of you. My heart hurts tonight!!

Sent by Kathy | 6:06 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie

I really don't have anything to add, except to reinforce what everybody else is saying. We're sorry, we're here, and we're keeping you both in our thoughts.

Sent by Bruce | 6:10 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy: My message might be #181 on your list of postings today but it is no less heartfelt because of its ranking. I've only posted a few times but I read you every day and I think of you every day (and even on the weekends!). You have been a touchstone for me throughout my journey through Cancer World, and I have been beaming back to you every good thought, good wish, and good blessing I can possible conjure. Sounds like today was a very tough day but hopefully your loved ones and friends and those here in the delicately connected, but infinitely strong, community of "My Cancer" can help cushion some of the emotional blows. Don't lose hope, don't lose faith, and please, don't lose that wonderful Leroy sense of the world. Take care.

Sent by Peggy | 6:11 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I, too, will think twice before I say I'm having a tough day. All my thoughts and courage go out to you.

Sent by Traci | 6:15 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

I wish I had a magic wand and could wave it and take the pain and cancer away. But things being as they are just know you are sent positive energy and many heartfelt prayers for your pain relief and your healing. Love ya, Pat

Sent by Pat | 6:18 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I will keep praying for you. I believe there are doctors out there with more new treatments to try. You are in my thoughts and prayers and best hopes.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 6:27 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, Our hearts, our minds, our spirits and our souls go out to you. You have touched us all in a way that means so much to so many. I somehow hope that someone out there can think outside the box and pull out another miracle. You are a precious person and we don't want to see you in pain or despair. Laurie

Sent by Laurie de Gonz??lez | 6:31 PM ET | 01-09-2008

so sorry Leroy....
the fat lady isnt singing though....

Sent by Jenn | 6:42 PM ET | 01-09-2008

God speed, Leroy.

Sent by JoAnn | 6:59 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,

I am so saddened to hear your news today. As always you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and be as strong as you can. Know that you are loved and respected by so many strangers.

Sent by Karen | 7:03 PM ET | 01-09-2008

God bless you, Leroy and Laurie. I pray that there is one last miracle out there for you.

Sent by Dori | 7:05 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I'm not sure what to say. It seems like there has been so much bad news lately. I just found out this week that my cancer has spread to my liver and the lining of my lungs. I will be thinking about you and hoping that they come up with a treatment for you.

Sent by Jill | 7:21 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, I haven't written in a long time but have been reading faithfully and continue to be impressed with your kindness and thoroughness in sharing everything that you are going through.. I always learn something and am sorry that this distressing discovery has happened. I don't know anything about "pockets" but what you write here...what a challenge to say the least. I offer hope that there is still another way to deal with this. Keep on truckin...we are all here for you and with you. Your fans in Spokane, Sally and Tom

Sent by Sally & Tom | 7:30 PM ET | 01-09-2008

My heart filled with sadness as I read your words today. And then hope peaked it's beautiful face in and made the sadness move aside. After that love totally took over. As those before me have said we are here for you. As you continue on your journey please know that this is no longer "My Cancer" but rather "Our Cancer". I wish you peace.

Sent by Penny Coeur d'Alene, Idaho | 7:35 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I am very sad to hear about your bad day - it does place things into perspective for many of us, as your comments usually do. You will continue to be in our prayers, for the healing and peace that you deserve.
One day at a time, my friend.

Sent by Lou Loggi | 7:38 PM ET | 01-09-2008

You are so brave. I have composed at least 3 messages and not sent them - anything I can say will never match what you are going through. There just aren't enough words to convey what we all feel about and for you. I'm joining everyone else in keeping you in my thoughts. Please sleep well. We are all here for you now.

Sent by PV | 7:39 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm so sorry to hear your news was so hard to hear. I dearly hope that way will open, but if not, I hope your discomfort can be addressed. I think in the 200 comments that are already here, people have literally said just about everything there is, but I join my thoughts to everyone else's and hope that the overwhelming rush of appreciation for you and all you mean to us can give you and yours some warmth. Best wishes to you, Leroy. To be honest, I think the connection you've forged with all these people and the community you've built is its own modest miracle.

Sent by Linda | 7:50 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy, I am another one of those people "lurking" out here, reading every day, but rarely responding. Today I had to, for two reasons: my brother-in-law was just diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer and I am a Hospice nurse.
Let me echo what others have said--it is OK to rest, and take strong pain medicines, maybe think about Hospice. Hospice still offers hope, of relief from pain and suffering, spiritual and mental and emotional, as well as physical. I have prayed for you for years, and I will continue to do so, as I do for all my patients and all the suffering ones everywhere. May God hold you in His very large hand today and always.

Sent by Rachel | 7:55 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy--I am so sorry to hear your news today, and thought how hard it must have been for you to write these words. Although I am a longtime reader, I have never posted because I am neither a cancer patient nor caregiver and wanted to give those who are space.

But I want you to know that your grace and grit, gentleness and humor in living with the uncertainties and inevitabilities of incurable illness have touched me deeply. You will find the right route to being where you need to be. At a minimum, I hope your excellent doctors find a way to minimize your pain so you can rest, think clearly and heal. There just may be one more miracle for you. My best to you and Laurie.

Sent by joy g | 8:13 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy - it hurts to hear what's happening to you. You are a blessing and have earned a place in the hearts and prayers of so many. Peace be with you, Shosh

Sent by Shosh | 8:21 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I'm very sorry to hear this. I know the painfull and hopeless feeling while having that conversation with the docs (having had a similar conversation regarding my son a few weeks ago). I know it gets harder to remain hopeful - but I encourage you to do just that and stay the course and remain hopeful. Kep standing and don't consider gettign on your knees.
My prayers are with you and Laurie.

Thank you for continuing to share your feelings with this community.

Sent by Jeff Brauns | 8:35 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear friend:
Everything I feel and think has been stated and restated by the nearly 200 contributors who wrote before I got to your blog this evening. As always, I send you my heartfelt good wishes, my love and my immense gratitude for what you continue to give all of us.
You are the most remarkable human being.

Sent by Harriet | 8:55 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
I haven't written for a long time, but my thoughts and hopes are with you. You are not alone. At many different points in your day there are many thinking positive thoughts for you.

Sent by Beth S. | 9:01 PM ET | 01-09-2008

You must know how much love and gratitude is out there for your now. Thank you for being you and helping so many people by sharing your story. It makes me realize how important it is to share these stories. Peace and love to you and your family.

Sent by sarah | 9:01 PM ET | 01-09-2008

big guy we will praying,sorry to hear that.

Sent by yohannes&arsema | 9:08 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

I truly never understood what it meant to "pray" for someone until I was diagnosed with cancer and started reading your blog and a few others. Now I really, really get it. Thank you for your incredible bravery and strength. Some people might think it's unhealthy for cancer patients to spend their time focusing on the pain of others when we should be out "living life." But you give me tremendous inspiration. So...I am praying for you.

Kristy

Sent by Kristy Manning | 9:17 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, I feel I just can't leave you today and am posting a second time.

I appreciate Kathy's (| 6:06 PM ET | 01-09-2008) game analogy; it seems like an appropriate management strategy for this critical, life altering business. Choose the plays that are beneficial to you....

Wishing you peace, my friend...until tomorrow...

Sent by Faun | 9:34 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I'm so sorry. Standing beside you on this difficult day.

Sent by Diane | 9:43 PM ET | 01-09-2008

All day today as we drove to and then from the oncologist ,did this and that,you were on my mind. There are so many very grateful people who are thinking of you now with so much love.

A friend of mine needed last October to call Hospice in. She lay down to die and stopped eating. Her docter said this was it, the cancer was too much to deal with anymore. Her family said goodbye. She was given alot of drugs to help with pain and they made her very sleepy. She "woke up" seven or eight days later and said "I'm hungry." She ate a couple graham crackers with jelly and ...she's still with us. She's not well but is sitting up a good part of the day and most definately is smiling, talking, laughing...came to our last support group with her daughter's help.

Then there is the person driving down the street today who got hit by a car and is dead.

Death is a great and to my mind a wonderful mystery... and even doctors are not its master. There is always hope and there is always always love.

Love to you, Nancy O

Sent by Nancy Oliveri | 9:46 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy - my heart goes out to you & Laurie. I'm sorry for your pain and I hope for better days for you both.

Sent by Susan C | 9:59 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Thank you for keeping us in your circle. We will keep praying.

Sent by nicole | 10:03 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, you are one of the most brave humans I have ever encountered. I must, once again, encourage you and your doctors to keep you out of pain -- as a dear friend said years ago, "It's only "morphine lite". We all laughed and giggled, but seriously, there is no virtue, and no good, in your being in pain. Please don't keep doing this without adequate pain meds. Please.

Sent by Victoria Ferreira | 10:05 PM ET | 01-09-2008

don't give up Leroy....

Sent by Linda | 10:25 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

Courage, Leroy, courage...and keep the daiquiris flowing.

Only my best,
Mo

Sent by Mo Spikes | 10:32 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Ditto to ALL of the above!!

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 10:36 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Hoping you find moments of peace away from the constant struggle. All our thoughts are with you as you find your path forward.

Sent by Lesa J in MO | 10:37 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I shall continue praying for you and all the others. Consider this an e-mail "hug."

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 10:43 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Hang in there, Leroy. We are all there with you and "cheering" you on. Love, JO

Sent by Jo | 10:48 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

Daily reader; First time poster. I opened your blog eagerly today. I had such hope for your procedure because I SO wanted you to have relief from the pain that has relentlessly dogged you these past weeks. Day and Night. When you say you have pain, I just know it's not pain, it's PAIN!!!! I felt shock and sadness when I read your words. And then gratitude that in spite of all you are enduring you cared enough to describe so eloquently (once again) your experience in Cancer World. Your words, even your saddest words, illuminate dark places. I am holding tightly to hope on your behalf.

Carolyn

Sent by Carolyn | 10:54 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy, you can tell by the number of comments, which I'm sure represent only a small percentage of us that read your blog, the message you???ve shared have a profound affect on so many today. In my way of thinking, a Miracle is described as a shift in perception in the way we look at a particular event, situation, etc. Though I can in no way know the emotions & pain you are currently experiencing, I do know there's this current of Love that flows throughout and into each one of us in this blog; forming a circular connectedness, which will remain even when all of us will longer be inhabiting these physical bodies we call as ???us???. That is the Miracle in my mind, for the authentic us is that Love which extends beyond our physical imitations and never will abandon us. Thank you Leroy for all your courage, honesty and that same love you extend, share and give us each day. Please know you are a light in our lives and we also send to you that Love to aid & guide you through these difficult times???

Sent by sheron - denver | 11:16 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I follow your post everyday - you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Hillary O'Kelly | 11:17 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,
First, to all of you thoughtful people who write on this blog, I have been a "lurker" for some time, and also have (had?) ovarian cancer. I also have the great, great honor of knowing Leroy (and Laurie) personally, because they were the best neighbors and friends that my parents could ever have had before my parents moved to a retirement community ....Leroy and Laurie (who I alway jealously referred to as my parents "adopted children") both brought more light and love to my parents' world than is possible to put into words.
Leroy, thank you for this blog and for making a "place" for all of us who have cancer (and their caretakers). At this moment, I send you all of my prayers, thoughts, love and anything else that "works"!
With love and sincerest admiration,
Elena

Sent by elena | 11:22 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy....as we all walk this Cancer trail together,it is so great to know we are part of a family who really understands the pains and the bad days we must face..many thanks for you lighting the way for so many of us...Our prayers are with you...

Sent by Tim&Faye Bacon......Bend Oregon | 11:32 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy,

I am and have been praying for you. I wonder if you would consider having a hospice nurse come for pain control and just moral support.

Sometimes a new box of miracles appears in the form of life quality. Maybe getting a handle on the pain would allow you to have some peace, sleep and other benefits.

Mary

Sent by Mary | 11:43 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Dear Leroy,

You know how you're supposed to keep wishes secret? Well, I guess it doesn't count if the time has already passed. I saw a beautiful shooting star in November and wished that you would have a wonderful Christmas. I hope my wish came true.

All readers of this blog, please join me in a prayer chain for our dear Leroy and Laurie, tomorrow (1/10/07) at 6:00 p.m. (EST). Leroy, I wish you peace. Thank you for sharing your gifts.

Sent by MJR | 11:56 PM ET | 01-09-2008

I have read this blog daily since Aug.07 but never commented. Felt the need today. Leroy, I believe in miracles. Tonight, I am praying for one for you. God does answer prayers!

Sent by Stacy | 11:58 PM ET | 01-09-2008

Leroy and Laurie,

We love you.

Reading the 200 + postings just today, and the thousands before that, has proven to me that people truly are souls, sending energy and love back and forth to one another. How else can you explain why hundreds of people who have never met are now connected intellectually, emotionally and spiritually in their love and thoughts for you, Leroy, the man who started it all by being brave enough to share your story. And, in their love and thoughts for one another.

All of us are here for you, Leroy and Laurie, in our words and in our prayers. My wish for you is that you feel our energy of peace and comfort, feel our appreciation for what you've given to all of us, and in turn receive some peace, some reflection, some rest.

Sent by Amy, NJ | 12:17 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Dear Leroy,
You're a fighter, so we know you will rebound from this. Still, what a horrific day and devastating news. I am so sorry that you have yet another hurdle and that you're losing weight. May better news find you soon. Take good care of yourself. Only best thoughts (with tears).

Sent by Marcia | 12:41 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Dear Leroy,

Cancer is such a bastard !!

It's like a roller coaster ride, it takes you to the highest peak of hope and then it takes you on that terrifying ride to the bottom. And it is terrifying. We've all been there too many times.

When will they stop this monster ?

My heart aches for you and Laurie. May you find peace and a gentle love surround you both.

love and peace,

susan california

Sent by susan | 1:15 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Commander,

We the lot, is still here for you. You share your personal space with us even on the not so good days. We are here for you and on those not so good days, we will carry you. Stay the course. mattie,

Sent by Mattie Joyce Hervey | 1:31 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy,
I've read your blog daily for a long time and as others have said, feel I know you. I truly believe there is a miracle out there for you and for Laurie.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Sent by Kathleen Calahan | 2:09 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy and Laurie -- many wishes, prayers, strength and love. I hope someone somewhere finds that next miracle for you I wish you painfree days again. I wish that all suffering from cancer painfree days. Sometimes it is OK to say and I am going to say it this just sucks. Love to you and Laurie with all these prayers out there for you they have just got to be answered! You are our superhero!

Sent by Cori Swanson | 2:20 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy,

Keep doing the things you enjoy. You are in my prayers.

Hugs, Betty

Sent by Betty Kern | 3:05 AM ET | 01-10-2008

I'm sorry today didn't turn out the way you thought it would. However, one bit of good news might be that you can start the ibuprofen again, eh?

Secondly, someone had suggested a second opinion at this point. I think that's certainly in order. I hope you will pursue this. The treatment of cancer is very much an evolving science. Perhaps someone else will know of something else to try. I have always found that to be true. I think a fresh perspective would help.

Hang in there. Keep the faith. Keep posting.

Sent by Linnea | 5:34 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy -

There are many of us out here pulling for you that never post here. i work on developing new cancer drugs, and reading your blog has allowed me to see the patient's perspective, hope, and suffering...

You might ask your doctors about avastin to treat the pleurisy. This antibody blocks VEGF, which is a major cause of fluid accumulation in peritoneal ascites, and there are anecdotal reports that it may also resolve fluid accumulation in the lungs.

Thanks for everything you've written.
Wishing you the Best - neil

Sent by Neil Stahl | 5:37 AM ET | 01-10-2008

((Gentle hug)) for you Leroy.

Sent by Toni | 9:29 AM ET | 01-10-2008

I don't know you. You doesn't know me. Our paths will never cross. Yet they already have in a way. And I know my heart is with you, even if I can find no words.

http://radio.weblogs.com/0105833/2008/01/10.html#a1348

Sent by david hasan | 10:19 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy, I joint with thousands of others in praying for you.

Sent by Connie Brown | 11:39 AM ET | 01-10-2008

Dear Leroy,
...what the other 240 people said.
Hugs,
Maggie

Sent by Maggie | 12:44 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Dear Leroy,
I've just spent the better part of the morning reading this amazing outpouring of love, wisdom and solidarity. WOW!!
You have touched so many hearts, my friend, by the simple act of sharing yourself and your journey with such honesty and courage.
You are the miracle, big guy.
Only love,
Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 12:55 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Charles Spurgeon, a great theologian, said "Our God has not left us at any time. We have had dark nights, but the star of love has shone forth amid the blackness; we have been in stern conflicts, but over our head he has held aloft the shield of our defence. We have gone through many trials, but never to our detriment, always to our advantage; and the conclusion from our past experience is, that he who has been with us in six troubles, will not forsake us in the seventh."
My prayer for you, Leroy, is that today you may claim these words as your own, that you may cling to this promise. You have been brought through so much already -- know it has not been in vain. I pray for God's strength for you today, and that in giving you His strength to rely on instead of your own, He will ease your burden and your pain. You are a dear man and we all hold you in our hearts today and every day.

Sent by Bethany | 2:18 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy, I too am sorry your news was not better. I have only written in to your blog on only one other occasion but have read it daily for well over a year now. You have become a part of so many of our lives. You will continue to be in my prayers as you have been for a long while now. God Bless Leroy!

Sent by Valerie | 2:55 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy,

Couldn't get to the computer yesterday and when I did today, I was so sorry to learn your news. It is hard not to look at cancer as a beast that is robbing you of your life rather than a bunch of mutated cells run amok. I suppose it doesn't matter how you view it; it is what it is. You have chosen to fight and I think that is a good approach. Full speed ahead and damn the torpedos!

Sent by Diana Kitch | 3:05 PM ET | 01-10-2008

I have posted in a while.

But CRAPOLA!!! sometimes things just stink, we need to shout it outload.

Where there is life, there is hope.

Sent by Janis | 3:23 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Leroy:
Love, just love. If you didn't know that you were loved, after today's outpouring you certainly know!
Namaste, Don

Sent by don winslow | 7:17 PM ET | 01-10-2008

Hi Leroy. This is Ole' Joan Lynch, your friend's Mom
I just wanted you to know that I have been praying daily for you and Laurie and will continue to storm heaven for you. I am also praying for wisdom for your doctors and nurses.
Wishing you a better day

Sent by Joan Lynch | 11:04 AM ET | 01-11-2008

Leroy,
I am so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish you peace and some comfort.

Betsey

Sent by Betsey | 1:01 PM ET | 01-11-2008

Leroy,

I have been reading your blog ever since I saw you on the Ted Koppel story. My husband has terminal lung cancer. Your blogs have meant so much to me. I talk to my husband about your struggle and how hard you fight to stay alive. I need you, we ALL need you. You give us so much inspiration.
This is my first time commenting and I just wanted to say "Thank You".

Sent by Diane Keim | 2:58 PM ET | 01-11-2008