Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Sent by Karen | 8:03 AM ET | 02-18-2008

That is a beautiful thing Laurie...it's called hope. You expressed it magnificently. We all truly hope to hear of Leroys' progress, his walking again, and his return home. He obviously has such determination and drive. It's probably a big part of why he's such a great journalist, and why he's come so much farther, lived so much longer than you were both led to believe when his metastatic disease was first diagnosed. Having cancer is a true test of our drive and determination. I surprised myself with mine after several surgeries in less than a year left me in a crumpled heap and debilitated. I was never a fan of gym in high school, or exercise, but I worked my butt off in 5 different courses of physical therapy since then to get function and strength back. Sometimes we don't know the depths of our strength and determination until they're tested.
By the way....you're a wonderful writer. Give Leroy my best, and hugs to you both.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 8:03 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie,

Your expectations are not unusually or out of the line of a care giver. Your observations and experiences of the past drive those expectations. It is hard to sit, watch, and wait for improvement when as you said, recently there has been so much he has had to endure. This time it may take a tad longer. However, from last week, I doubt that his spirit has lessened, and both of you must be patient a while longer.

I honestly feel, Leroy will rally! And of course the LA (Leroy's Army) will rally behind both of you. Again, allow the medical team to care for him, and you get the rest you need. PLEASE!

I continue to hold you both in my prayers and thoughts during this time.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:06 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy,
I am praying every day for both of you. Know that all who love you are sending strength and love your way!
I believe!!! Jude

Sent by Judith Tynan | 8:07 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie, I really hope you do get Leroy home safe and sound as soon as possible. He is a fighter, anyone reading his blog for any time at all can see that,and I know he is doing everything he can to get home too. You both remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by N.R. | 8:13 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie,
As a spouse/caretaker, I admire your courage. I continue to keep you and Leroy in my prayers.

Sent by Sasha | 8:34 AM ET | 02-18-2008

I agree with Nancy, you are a beautiful writer and express the thoughts, and hopes of all of us with regard to Leroy. We all have come to know and respect Leroy's strength, and I'm focusing on his safe and sound return to home with you soon!
Sending lots of prayers and hugs to wrap around you both again!

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 8:35 AM ET | 02-18-2008

We are all hoping for the same thing!

Sent by jen barad | 8:41 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Please tell Leroy we miss him.

Sent by linda | 8:47 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie,
How can you not hope he will come back to you safe and sound? As a caregiver, you must remain the cheerleader.I know how difficult the job is and how some days you just want Leroy to take care of you..that day will come.God Bless.

Sent by Kathie | 8:47 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Thank God for Leroy being Leroy and Laurie being Laurie. And together you are one in your strength, hope, determination and will.
Stay strong in peace and prayer.
Pam

Sent by pam | 8:49 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Cheryl Crowe sings a song like that. I heard it after 9/11. It is really a beautiful song.

God bless you both!

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:53 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Good Morning Laurie & Leroy, It is easy to see what you both have in common. You share the same thinking and the same ability to face challangaes and express yourselves.
Yes, Leroy is a fighter and will get well at his own pace. Laurie, you obviously understand him so well and are so good at keeping us informed. Love and best wishes.

Sent by J C R | 9:02 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
You know that many of us are in the "same place" that you are. Your posts give us hope that Leroy is Acing this next test or at least pulling a hard earned C.
But Lauries recent posts have put a new face on Leroy's challenges. It is the face and voice of the person who loves him and is by his side. Your lives have been greatly changed by all of the things that cancer brings and takes away.
Just like ours.
This is so hard.
I wish for you- laughter and peaceful moments today.

Sent by Deb | 9:11 AM ET | 02-18-2008

One day at a time, Laurie. Each one with its own joys and sorrows. Keep holding on to your faith in this remarkable man named Leroy. Your love is so evident. Thank you both for sharing this difficult journey. Remember it is a journey, with a destination. May the Peace of God that sustains all hope be with you today.

Sent by Leah | 9:15 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie, and Hello to Leroy,

Sometimes a trip is so arduous that envisioning coming out on the other side becomes very hard to visualize. Sometimes you think you won't come out on the other side, safe and sound. So much has happened. Sometimes, when this happens to me, friends and loved ones hold the visualization for me, until I am able to hold it again. Sounds like you are doing that as best as you are able for Leroy now, also let your friends, and all of us out here, help hold that visualization for you. Just opening your eyes somedays is progress. Hang in there. We are all praying for you. We are all sending you our love and light and healing.

Heartlight on bright,

Kim & Virgie

Sent by Kim & Virgie | 9:16 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Home, what a beautiful place! Leroy and Laurie, I wish you peace, comfort, strength and home! Keep fighting! My continued prayers are with you! Have a wonderful Monday!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 9:20 AM ET | 02-18-2008

I totally get what you're saying Laurie. You know and love him and though this is probably the fight of his life -it's him in there doing the fighting. You are also doing exactly what got him through all those tough spots in the past - visualizing a successful outcome and focusing on the successes. He truly is a remarkable man with a remarkable history and spirit. Thank goodness there are a lot of positive successes to focus on.

For me, it's also that he is one of us. If he can get through this, then we or our loved ones can too. I am always praying that he going to beat this thing and survive to help others for a long time to come. He is my hero and you are too...and that won't ever change.

I thank you both again for giving of yourselves this way while in the midst of such an emotional roller coaster ride. Bless you both.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 9:26 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie it is so clear why you and Leroy are together. Your words, though truly your own, sing with Leroy's spirit. I'm beyond touched. That being said, I believe in the strength of the two of you and that he is not done with this fight.

I pray for both of you.

One day at a time.

Sent by Lori | 9:28 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Thats so normal Laurie. We see improvement as a step closer to getting better and coming home. And that is the ultimate goal we all want. It is so hard sitting by and just waiting for that to happen. It can be slow and frustrating. So get out of the hospital when you can and pass the time in many ways if possible. Take care ~

Sent by DiAnn | 9:43 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie,
Please know that you aren't alone. We are rooting for you guys! There may never be exact words to comfort you, but there is the determination of everyone here that hopefully transmits itself to you guys.
Stay strong.

Sent by Kathleen, NJ | 9:44 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Hold tight to that vision, Laurie and thank you so much for sharing with us...our good thoughts and prayers to you both.

Sent by glenda | 9:59 AM ET | 02-18-2008

"Because it's Leroy." I get that. As does anyone who's joined Leroy's Army over the course of his recent journey. (Thanks Sue, it's an apt description.)
I talk about "my friend Leroy" alot. I think about him alot more. "Because it's Leroy."
Thanks so much, Laurie, for stepping up to share a part of yourself with us. It's so obvious that you two are a remarkable couple who are truly blessed to have each other. And I feel like a lucky duck to know you both!!

Sent by Anita Solomon | 10:18 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie, this whole journey is probably as difficult for you as for Leroy - only he gets the physical pain. I wish there was something I could do - hope and pray along with you. Take care and G-d bless you.

Jan

Sent by janice goldberg white | 10:47 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Tears before breakfast -- what a powerful and moving writer you are! Hope is a beautiful "thing with feathers that perches in the soul." And what has amazed me is that even in very difficult circumstances when the odds are against "coming home safe and sound" -- it does happen sometimes. Call it a miracle or answered prayer or whatever. I'm an agnostic, but I have seen positive outcomes that seemed impossible. I'm betting on Leroy.

Sent by Doris | 10:55 AM ET | 02-18-2008

The first time I faced cancer, 4 1/2 years ago..I saw the cancer as a raging river that stood between me and the remainder of my life. In order to get on with life..on the other bank. I would have to get into the river and fight to stay afloat. The river tried its best to suck me down and to carry me away, but I fought. I saw my kids and friends and all those I hold dear, there on the other bank. I made it there!Once again I had to swim this past year...this time was easier, because I knew I could do it.
Keep floating guys...or you will hit the falls!
Love ya
Liz Zimmerman

Sent by liz Zimmerman | 11:09 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Hope...as human beings we can never give up hope. Never.

Laurie, you are a true light. Leroy, you are an inspiration. May you both feel wrapped in the warmth and softness of our love.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 11:22 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie,

It sounds like this was a long weekend for you guys. I hope today the therapists are back and Leroy is winking at you and tolerating the pain. I can't imagine the trauma to the war zone that is his spine. I am hoping for "baby steps" of progress to et you to your vision of the other side of this assault. Patience and love to both of you, Eleanor

Sent by Eleanor | 11:31 AM ET | 02-18-2008

*enjoy* leroy. he is, quite brilliantly, still here.

Sent by mary | 11:40 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Watch out for the hospital-itis, the craziness that comes from being there too long. Know that we are all out here, everyday, every long night too, through all our own 7-8 hour infusion sessions, thinking of you guys, praying for a little glimmer of hope, just for that day, something just to keep you going, one more day.

Sent by Karla | 11:52 AM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie,
As a fellow caregiver, I'm detecting a tiredness and a sadness in you. Please remember to take care of yourself.

No matter what this latest battle brings, Leroy and you will never be the same. You will look at each other with a different intensity, a different awareness of each other and the things that make you a couple and start appreciating all that you have.

Please get some rest. Kathy

Sent by Kathy Barney | 12:01 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie. You and Leroy have expressed the fears and hopes and every day thoughts, good and bad,of so many of us. Victim or caregiver--we're all survivors. No words can banish forever the bad thoughts and fears nor fix in stone only the hope and good thoughts...if only it were possible. May you both gain strength in knowing there are thousands of just plain folks out here trying to send positive energy your way in whatever manner we can. Best always.

Sent by Amy from NJ | 12:01 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie and Leroy -

The simple answer is -- you hope because you're human. It would be worrisome if you DIDN'T hold onto those hopes and desires. Keep taking life one day at a time, love each other, and know that you have many supporters out here. We wish we could do more.

Sent by Jan Richardson in Olympia, WA | 12:14 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Good Afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, Good vibes are coming your way today for a really good day!! I'm joining Laurie in her hope that you will be raring to go, even if it is just a little "rare".

Laurie, Your post today is beautifully written and encompases the hopes of all the caregivers out there. The light of hope must continue to shine, no matter what the situation is at present. And when Leroy is ready for discharge from the hospital, we will send you a cyber-airplane to bring you both safely home.

To All, As we all travel this path through Cancer World together, my hope
is that at some point the path itself will fade into the past. This vow is my hope for the future:
The Path

I took a walk the other day
Along a path, both narrow and gray.
Many walked before, I knew not when
Where the rushing wind
Mocked the singing wren.
I saw the sun streak through the sky,
And ached within for tears to cry.
Then I took a message
From the howling wind.
And vowed to never walk this path again!

Yes, someday Cancer will be a disease of the ages and no one will be on this path again!
God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 12:28 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Where there is life, there is hope!
Hang tough Laurie...........

Sent by Jo Ann Baswell | 12:33 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie,
You live with eternal hope and that is a blessing.
Of course you expect "your" Leroy to come back, and so you should. He has gone through so much, with you by his side, and so that flame of hope, gives you the spark to continue.
With prayers, love and May the Grace of God be with You,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 12:53 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Again Laurie you have amazed us with your thoughts and insight. Leroy, you are the personification of the mysterious will to live. We love you both and our hearts are with you each day. Love from Sherri in Texas

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 1:06 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie

Bless your heart. I am so glad you are able to stay "up" for both your sakes. There will be times when you are not as this scenario plays itself out. Consider sharing them with Leroy and allowing him to comfort you. It makes a person feel better to give.

I think about both of you daily and, although I won't have computer access until Friday, you are on my mind and in my heart.

Blessings to you both.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 1:48 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Thank you, Laurie, for posting daily in Leroy's absence. I think I have become "addicted" to checking in each day.
As always, the prayers shall continue.
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 1:50 PM ET | 02-18-2008

sending thoughts your ways...

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 2:07 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie:
Leroy is very blessed to have you by his side during this. I truly understand your feelings. God Bless you both as you travel this journey together.

Sent by Joan Weaver, Front Royal, Va | 2:16 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Gee whiz, Laurie, I thought today was a holiday! I was suprised to find a new entry this morning, and what a beautiful piece of writing. Thank you so much. May "your" Leroy return ASAP.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 2:40 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Does it help at all to know you (Leroy) have poeple around the country who are wishing you well and saying a silent prayer for you to heal?

Sent by Lisa Proven | 2:47 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie, what you do is beautiful...awesome! We all do it to our loved ones battling this ugly "war". We have all this hope and faith that they will make it through and that they will be strong and so we keep pushing and pushing them to get better. It's not a bad thing, trust me!!! it keeps them going, even if at times they don't want to hear it! You are a wonderful supporter and Leroy is blessed to have you by his side.

Continue ot stay strong and with such faith and hope!!!!

He will get out of this one and home before you both know it!

Say hello to Leroy and to keep fighting this monster, he is doing GREAT!

God Bless you both!

Love,
Cristina

Sent by Cristina Gonzalez, Tampa, Florida | 2:52 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Tnak you Laurie for your candidness and also sharing a bit of Leroy's life as a journalist...and your musings on how this is similar and different. When we have an ill partner/spouse, there is the part of us that expects things to return to the remembered normal in, oh, a few days, or a week, or a month...SOMEDAY we will get it back. As one other poster said this is a natural way to feel as our minds are working with the way things were in the past. With my husband's surgical recovery, he would eventually have days when he got up by himself, did things around the house, and seemed like the old him, though a bit weaker and more cautious...and I would reflexively think "Oh, OK, now life will be the same." Then BAM, that energy burst would inevitably be followed by fatigue, sleep, pain, distancing. You are experiencing the normal needs and wonderings of the caregiver, or "care-watcher." It's a long haul, but he knows you're there with him and for him, as we all are. By the way, that is a lovely piece of writing that you did. How lucky we are to have his co-authors stepping in when he's on rest & recovery time. May you find peace or may it find you. Sally in Spokane (my Mr. is currently on "down time" and will probably sleep most of the day)

Sent by Sally | 3:16 PM ET | 02-18-2008

"Envisioning his self on the other side of his trip"... safely returning home. Thanks, Laurie, that was a beautiful little bit of how-to-get-through-something scarey that we can all carry with us. I've often wondered how journalists who cover wars are able to step off the plane into so much danger.
We will try to carry in our hearts Leroy returning home safely, with pain under control and any residual cancer remaining stable if it can't be removed.
Laurie, please allow yourself some time, today, for a walk, or a nice lunch with a friend. Thanks for keeping up with the blog. It means a lot to us.

Sent by NancyGM | 5:28 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie,

You express yourself beautifully. While I miss hearing from Leroy himself, I feel you are doing a wonderful job of telling his story. I'll continue to keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by roni | 5:59 PM ET | 02-18-2008

LAURIE~ Have had you both on my mind all day, as I sat in the waiting room while my husband was examined. They called me in and it seems that my perfectly healthy, invincible, husband of 59 yrs of marriage, may(not sure) have protsate cancer. At his age they are reluctant to operate. I DREAD what the next few years may bring.
I, would give anything to be able to roll back our years together to a better time when both he and I were the healthy, loving couple who were enjoying our lives together with our only worry being, "Would we have enough money to pay all our bills and look forward to doing what we wanted to do?" How shallow and unimportant those things seem now. Look at each other- and cherish the good memories of just, plain, togetherness.

Sent by J C R | 5:59 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Hang in there Laurie. Leroy has to do it his way. You are his inspiration. Best to you both.

Sent by Paulette | 6:54 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie, I hope he is home soon too. The things that need to be addressed are on the next list, at this point. Just get him home safely. I know this is very difficult on you too. So take a minute, here and there, just for you. Tell him, I wish him well and home soon. Best Always, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 7:00 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie
Thank you so much for your courage and strength. You both are an inspiration. I think of Leroy every day as I see clients (I am an acupuncturist) who are ill and are in need of inspiration. I have sent several to the blog.
I pray with you and cry with you
Julie S. in Michigan

Sent by Julie S | 7:10 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie, My heart is with both you and Leroy today. Try to take things one day at a time and don't ever give up on hope. You both have been through much. Stay strong!

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 7:13 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Keeping you and Leroy in my prayers. And like everyone else, I'm hoping for the same things. God bless.

Sent by Lisa Lindstrom | 7:18 PM ET | 02-18-2008

I love the idea of envisioning the return home after a challenge, that is something I will keep with me as my sister faces new testing. You both write so beautifully and are such an inspiration. I will envision Leroy's return home as well. Keep the faith and continue to feel all of these good wishes and blessings. And have another chocolate cupcake, both of you.

Sent by Sarah | 8:25 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie:

Vickie Girard has a book called "There's No Place Like Hope." It is part of the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and American Cancer Society's ads and campaigns.

I think that thought applies to you right now. Loving thoughts for you today and tomorrow.

Sasha: How was the trip?

Nikki

Sent by Nikki | 8:28 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Dear Laurie, Isn't safe and sound what we want for all those we love. It so well captures what is basic to our needs.

Sent by Linda | 8:49 PM ET | 02-18-2008

Laurie,
Thanks so much for keeping us updated on Leroy - and for sharing so much of yourself with us. Plugging for you here in the midwest...

Sent by Jen Pearl | 10:57 PM ET | 02-20-2008