February 22, 2008
Today, reality set in.
Oh, I walked some more, but my legs felt wobbly and after yesterday's adrenaline rush, I realize just how far I've got to go. I think I surprised my therapists with how far I was able to walk and that's always a fun feeling.
But sitting on an exercise bike, it is obvious how much things have changed since the days I would walk 5 or 6 miles in about an hour.
Will those days ever return?
I don't know.
Leroy, good news in todays posting...you are thinking about tomorrows and not just getting through the pain of the moment.And you are strong enough to write the message. The extended family and friends are there with you what ever the pace.
Lou Ann
Leroy,
Unchecked reality leads to disappointment. Acknowledging what is real, enlightens. That in itself is a worthy discovery. We will wonder about and wish for many things. We are human. But for you, having already beaten so many odds, the wishing is very realistic. While the task ahead of you is not easy, and so any and all "steps" ahead means you are still moving in the right direction. That means..you are still "going". That is what counts.
Prayers, love and May the Grace of God be with you.
Wanda Amorose
Leroy, I can understand what you mean. It's starting all over again with things you used to do with your eyes closed...BUT you hang in there and keep taking each day and defeating your goals for that day! Keep surprising your therapist and more than anything showing the "monster" YOU will win!!!!
Stay strong buddy! AND hang in there!
Hello Laurie!
Love,
Cristina
Leroy--
Look at how far you've come, not how far you have to go! It may seem like miles but I think we all go through changes and look back at times thinking we'd like things the way they were. If we look forward, we might be surprised by what we discover about ourselves.
Stay strong.
I suspect those days will return, Leroy, but it is going to take a lot of time and work. Hang in there!
Dear Leroy,
As I have written you before, that I just have a good feeling about you. My love and prayers to you, Laurie and our entire cancer family.
Betty Lewis
Dear Leroy, How nice to have you back. Your Laurie is such a great person and it was so good to get to know her, but this Ole World begins to get back to near normal when we hear from you, personally again! Yes indeed, no matter how hard it is for you at present, you are still with us and "fighting your heart out". We are those little voices you hear, urging and coaxing you on. Yes you can, yes you can, you ARE gaining on it! Love & Prayers.
Yes they will.
It's hard not to think about the "way it use to be". Today is the day we're given; tomorrow is no guarantee but being the optimists we are, we assume that tomorrow will come. Each day's efforts on the exercise bike or walking will be a reward for persevering. Who knows, maybe the 5-6 miles will be achievable but maybe not in an hour. That's still quite a feat considering the adversity you have faced and are now facing with the rehab. Set small goals; claim the victories and keep on pushing, pulling and lifting. You'll do the hard work but you'll also have lots of daily prayers and good wishes from your bloggers to help lift your spirits during the tough times.
The little light of Hope continues to burn in my heart. It refuses to be extinguished. I hope you can see its light!
Leroy, don't focus on what you've lost or how far you have to go. Think about what you've accomplished so far, the rest will come. Have faith Leroy! Your strength is amazing!
Since Neil's passing, I cannot think any other way, it is truly moment by moment. Where I was 2 1/2 months ago to where I am now, is a gift. We believe in you....Our continued prayers are with you and this family!
Hi Leroy,
Hang in there, cut yourself some slack and know that this takes time and you will get there. This is the hard part, coming back from serious surgery, as you well know. We are cheering for you and know with everyday you will do better and better.
Lianne
A former pace ( and WOW what a pace it was!) may not be your "new normal" Leroy but any progress is a step in the right direction. Slow and steady does win the race. I know you can hear us cheering you on from the sidelines! Have a wonderful, wintery weekend! Be extra sweet to Laurie. She has been very good to all of us!
Hey! Patience PLEASE! You have had a set back, surgery as if you needed to be reminded. In the race, it is not always speed that wins.
So.... .keep putting one foot in front of the other, one pedal over the other, and do what the therapists tell you.
Palm trees to motivate, please.
Yes, it is a long journey, rest when you must. We lift you with prayer and spirit.
Linda
Don't look back Leroy. It won't change a
thing. I must say last week I was not sure you would make it this far. And you have and then some. One day at a time.
God bless you Leroy.
Judy
Well Leroy, 5 mph may not come back, but we will be happy to welcome you to the average 3 to 4 mph the rest of us do. :o) Your progress will be amazing, then again, it already is!
You are doing great! If it takes 90 or 120 minutes to walk the 5 miles, it's okay; there might be things to see that were missed at the faster pace. Being Larry you'll always hang in there and do your best. You are awesome.
The future is uncertain, that is why you need to revel in the accomplishments of today. Frankly, I'm not surprised at how far you've come to this point, because Leroy, you are very determined in everything that you do. You are an over achiever. It is really inspiring. Keep up the good work.
P.S. Please thank Laurie for her wonderful blogs. She really is a good writer. Maybe she has a future in this?
I feel for you Leroy. I had a dream that I started running again. I could only crawl. I kept on crawling.
"Yard by yard, life is hard.
Inch by inch, it's a cinch."
Well, maybe not a "cinch" but you ARE doing it and that's what really matters. We are ALL here....cheering you on! We love you!
One step at a time. One day at a time. Peace and prayers always.
I want to believe that anything is possible. And if it is possible...then you are most definitely the guy to do it. By the way - have you caught all the LOST episodes? If not, good stuff to look forward to!!!
Hey Leroy...don't worry bout the old days...make some "new" days and I feel you will be pleasantly surprised. Maybe soon some water therapy would work for you-in that I would like to extend an invitation to you & Laurie to come down to Crystal River, FL and swim with the manatees, so you can show them what you got!! I know you can do it!! I feel your strength returning and the home stretch is in view. Have a wonderful weekend L & L...
Leroy - I'm totally impressed, amazed and inspired by your strength and determination. All I can say is "wow!". I know I'll remember your strength when I encounter tough times in the future. I deeply hope that you'll feel better soon.
Leroy, Try not to have your expectations too high! You are doing great!
Leroy,
One year ago I was recovering from pancreatic cancer surgery that removed half of my pancreas, my gall bladder and small parts of my small intestine and stomach. This was followed by radiation and chemo therapy. Today I am again walking four to five miles a day and have the stamina that I had BC.
Do I feel lucky and blessed? You bet I do. I believe that God has some earthly purpose for me as I think he does for you. Keep fighting, your courage is an inspiraton for all of us.
Bob
With or without cancer, none of us can do what we USE to do. Can Arnold Schwarzenegger lift weights like he did when he was Mr Universe? I don't think so! We all must focus on what we can do. I listened to an interview on NPR the other day. The gentleman said that if he hadn't contracted hepititis he would have continued to play baseball. As it turned out, he is a bible scholar now because of the restrictions of his illness. Leroy, I'm sure you have resources in you that are still waiting to be discovered! We love ya!!!
Leroy, I can relate to your mixed emotions...A month out from a neck dissection, I am wondering if I will ever be able to raise my right arm, smoothly, all the way above my head again. I tell myself that is not as important as the fact that I am still here after a year at stage IV with successfully treated lung mets.
I've tried to return to yoga class like this and it had been frustrating. I tell myself to do what i can and give myself more time, but,I still can't help but wonder...
I have no advice. You know what you have to do. I wish you well in pursuing your physical improvement. Of course, with that will come emotional improvement as well. Onward and upward.
Those days are already on their way back....s-o-o-o-o HEADS UP...FULL SPEED AHEAD. You and Laurie and everyone on the blog have a good weekend. Love and Prayers
Dear Leroy, I have been a daily reader of you blog since I first heard your story, on the TV special. I had been recently diagnoised with CML and was desperayly looking for a sense of community. I have a wonderful family and loving friends, but sometimes I feel the greatest kindness I can grant them is a break from "cancer" talk. I have been very blessed in that my leukemia has been sent into complete remission due to a wonderful drug called Gleevec. But, as you know, we all remain part of this unsure world called cancer. I want you to know that I keep you in my prayers constantly, and have started to add your name to the list of people my family prays for in the evenings. Please know what an inspiration and help you hve been to me, and so may others. You sound as if you are well loved, Laurie sounds like an amazing partner. Thank you again for sharing every step of you journey. It lets us all know that we are not alone. God Bless You Both
wow,way to go!!!!
Don't be doing that guessing thing--it just gets you into trouble. What you're able to do now, today, is amazing.
I'm not saying, Don't Dream. Of course you need to anticipate the future, and envision how you'll participate in it. But don't fret about how it will change from what was, or what might have been. Work with what you've got, Leroy, because with all those docs, and with Laurie, and with your own mighty spirit, you've got quite a bit.
And anyway, I doubt Koppel could keep up a 6 mph pace ;-)
Peace
jj
Good Morning. I had major surgery in Sept 2005 that required strict bedrest for months. As I was just beginning to walk again, my cancer was diagnosed. As I was just beginning to recover from chemo and radiation, I was hit with another complications that kept me chair bound. How about we cheer each other on? I'm about two weeks ahead of you. I'll keep trying so I can keep up with your much longer legs. Walk on!
Hang in there! We are all walking and stumbling with you.
Think of all your challenges in your life and how well you have surpassed them. Your own strength can come from the knowledge that you have it in you. Just keep trying.
And tell Laurie we miss her voice too. Although I can imagine her using all her energy at this point to keep you uplifted.
Don't peer into the future too far Leroy...those days might just return, you never know. But for now congratulate yourself on baby steps. You're been through a really tough couple of months and a lot of people are rooting for you. You deserve a huge (gentle) pat on the back for what you are doing today. Now if I could only take me own advice!
Leroy,
Ah, the cancer roller coaster! The emotional bungee jumping is hard. I like the phrase "new normal" that someone else wrote. To yearn for your pre-cancer state will only hurt you an frustrate you.
I believe it is better (if you agree) to grieve the loss of that and go on. Do the best you can with your situation and you will be a hero. In fact, that is a pretty good definition of heroism.
Blessings.
Morning Leroy,
I went to your archives and read this first entry from February 2006:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/mycancer/2006/02/
I'm not spending my time thinking why me, though. I don't have the time. I think about the old saying, "We aren't given the burdens we deserve, we're given the burdens we can bear."
I have work to do, because I'm going to fight like hell.
Keep up the good fight. You have come a long way.
God speed, Leroy. This is just another phase. Thinking of you and Laurie everyday.
If you want to look back, look back at the hospital bed and think, "Wow, I've come a long way."
I know how discouraging it is when it seems you have so far to go, but you'll get there the same way we all did. One step at a time. Hang tough. We believe in you.
What are you talking about? You aren't jogging yet? lol
Hang in Bro, it'll happen
LizZ
Thanks for wobbling out-loud. Even slow steps will get you home.
Namaste
Well, there's a lot of room between being flat on your back, unable to move, and walking 5 or 6 miles in an hour. Just look back every day and be glad you are not there any more. Keep pushing yourself to make progress -- even a tiny bit -- and feeling grateful for it. Who cares if you never reach the peak of physical activity that you could attain when you were younger and before your battles with cancer? That's normal. That's life. Yesterday and today, you walked, even if it was hard. Halleluja!
Hi Leroy, I read your report about walking last night...came home and checked email for one last time and knew I had missed your blog in the morning, so I read "I walked!" and that was great to know at the end of the day. Yes, today you are seeing, it's not at former pace, but hey, you're up on your feet! Each day, a few more steps, and for those of us reading, we are there with you. It just makes my day to read this blog and feel the compassion and positive vibes from all around the country. "Those days" may be gone, but some new days, better in their own way, are on the horizon. Hope I don't irk you with my cheery comments...you've been through many losses. But to read that you are up and walking, we are glad for you that you are back on the road. Your friends in Spokane, Sally and Tom
Hey Leroy, if you were in a health club/gym, you'd call it a muscle conditioning class. The first time one lifts it feels good to do the weights. The next day brings some aching, and is supposed to be a recovery day. Instead, you are still working those same muscles, so of course you have to back off a bit. Keep looking forward, because that is where your footsteps and cycling are taking you!
Dear Leroy,
One step, one day at a time. That's how those days will return. I know you can do it.
I send you best wishes and strength,
Mo
Dear Leroy,
You have come so far on this journey......Hang in there! Prayers to you, Laurie and this wonderful blog community.
I sometimes hesitate to write, thinking those that have already offered comment have said pretty much what I'm thinking. So this morning I say "ditto" to those messages that preceded mine. I will add, Leroy, that the road you're on is one of the roughest any of us have ever experienced or witnessed. Your tenacity astounds me. As always, you're in my prayers.
it's really strange how hard it can be for the mind to imagine the body. that's an experience in itself, isn't it? remembering what you could do before that you can't now -- and then (perhaps) knowing that what just a week ago might have seemed *completely impossible*, you have just done, two days in a row. the mind and the body are amazing. despite some surprising 'disconnects', they really can take care of each other, can't they?
it has been nice hearing from laurie. i had been worried about her. i hope we shall hear from her again; and i'm glad you're back.
It's great to hear from you again, not that Laurie's not an excellent writer, she is. I think the cheese steak prepared you for the hard work at the PT yesterday. Maybe another is in order? Got to keep your strength up, you know.
Just take (literally) one step at a time. With small improvements everyday, perhaps you can go further than seems possible at this very start of recovery.
Leroy - hang in there. You'll be back to your normal pace in time, but it may just take a little longer. I've been struggling with trying to get back to the physical condition that I was in before I was diagnosed and it's frustrating. While I'm still in active chemotherapy treatment, I just can't do what I've been used to doing and sometimes it makes me crazy. I push myself hard and every one of those tiny steps in which I make just a bit more progress is tremendously rewarding. I actually felt well enough this week to take a day off from work and go snowshoeing on Mt. Rainier. This was a huge step for me - I haven't been out on this kind of trip in about two years. It was great! I didn't go far and I didn't go fast, but the fact that I went at all was as therapeutic as any medication I could take. So, today it's a couple of trips down the hall for you, and soon you'll be back to 5-6 miles per hour on the canal with Ted. Keep plugging away.
And as others have said in the past few days - Thanks to Laurie for keeping us updated.
Leroy, All things start with small steps. You have started; I hope the road only gets easier from here. We all know how difficult this has been for you, Laurie, and your Frineds. I am so glad our posts have gotten to you in some format; I hope they have given you strength. Laurie is a peach, she kept us informed, when all she really wanted to do was be at your side. Please thank her for me. Thoughts and Prayers as always, Stan
Even if the old normal doesn't fully return, at least you are walking. And that will only get better. We don't like change, but embrace today. You are here, you are alive, you are walking and talking. Thats a good thing!
I have been amazed at what physical therapy can do. Be encouraged by small increments of progress. That is what athletes who are training for the Olympics do, I understand. Continued blessings on you and Laurie; I so appreciated her posts.
I have to say it. Today's entry reminds me of an old joke.
I may not be as good as I once was,,but I am as good once as I ever was.
Keep the faith Leroy
Greetings Leroy and Laurie-
George Harrison once sang 'All things must pass". He's right. The good, the bad, and the butt uuuugggly too. You wont be the same Leroy, it's impossible. Grieve the loss of past abilities and future expectations. It's sad, unfair and downright poopy. No two ways about it, it sux.
Respect and honor yourself, Laurie, and your friends by keeping on keeping it real, Leroy. For that aspect of you won't change. You are at core an honest, straight talking kinda guy. It's why so many folks read your blog.
Most of us have had enough of the nursery rhymes and have spotted the man behind the curtain. For me, that's a plus. I'd rather deal with the totality of life.
The First Peoples believe that to move beyond pain (emotional or physical) it must be embraced. And by embracing it the pain doesn't necessarily go away, but we become more than we were. To me, the more is wisdom, mixed w/ a touch of grace.
Would I trade that wisdom for a healthy body? Damn straight I would. And maybe my next time around that'll be the case. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I have a pain that's needing a hug.
Hang loose you two,
Tally
"Important events-whether serious, happy or unfortunate--do not change a man's soul, they merely bring it into relief, just as a strong gust of wind reveals the true shape of a tree when it blows off all its leaves. Such events highlight what is hidden in the shadows, they nudge the spirit towards a place where it can flourish." Irene Nemirovsky, 1942
May your spirit continue to flourish Leroy and the "My Cancer" bloggers all! from Sherri in Texas, BC dx 4-06
Who needs to walk 4-5 miles in an hour? Today was my first day out at a meeting since my surgery and I will return to work next week. Our bodies are amazing with what they can endure. One step at a time Leroy.
Thinking about your recovery and what you are experiencing made me think about training for the marathon and how recovery is as important as training. There are a number of products out there that endurance athletes rely upon for recovery. I wonder whether some of these products might help your muscles recover.
I just want to thank Leroy for sharing his cancer struggles. My sister, Nicole Hardy, admired your fight and honesty. She loved your blog; you said everything she couldn't say. She felt very much like you do about treatment,how you feel physically and mentally, dealings with doctors and meds...Nicole would forward your daily blog to all her family members, hoping we would understand her plight. She died Feb. 13/08, thanks for helping her through her battle and saying what she couldn't.
Apropos of steps in the right direction:
Being walkers with the dawn and morning,
Walkers with the sun and morning,
We are not afraid of night,
Nor days of gloom,
Nor darkness--
Being walkers with the sun and morning.
Langston Hughes
p.s. still lifting!
Hang in there Leroy, we're pulling and praying for you! You have shown more strength than anyone I know. I can't even run five miles in an hour, let alone walk five miles in an hour. Have faith in yourself and your strength!
Well, Leroy, maybe not six miles per hour (!), which is far faster than I could comfortably walk at 20.
Better to look at the progress you've made and will continue to make.
Keep it up. Many are pulling for you!
Walking 6miles in hour may be days which are gone or a long time to come. Most important to us Leroy, is that YOU are back. You're our friend, our hope, and our promise of dignity and grace. We will worry about long walks later.
I look out my front window every day and see "the walkers." Some days I feel sad and even cheated that I am no longer one of them. Other days I think, it CAN happen...I will be walking down that hill again. Both feelings are valid, real and okay. As are your feelings, whatever they are any given day.
Leroy, YOU ARE DOING WONDERFULLY! I TRULY BELIEVE IT. There is a man who writes books and is on the radio and THINKS HE IS THE MOST KNOWLEDGEABLE PERSON IN THIS WHOLE WORLD - Dennis Prager!! He is too conservative for me and too arrogant but on some things he is oh so right! He often says that people who have huge expectations are the ones who are not happy. They so often are let down. You are one wonderful person - you have done so much and so much that most people have not done; now is a slower time. Take care and appreciate what you can do today that you could not do last week - and appreciate that you are here to hope that you can do more later. Take care of you and G-d bless you and Laurie.
Janice Goldberg White
Dear Leroy- To be quite honest, you presented such a dim picture not so long ago that I am thrilled you're still here. Thrilled that you've got your spirit and humor. Thrilled that you have Laurie beside you. I know you'll be up and around soon- but for now just enjoy your tube- free life.
one step at a time, one step at a time....
Hello Sir.This is my first post to your blog. I first saw the special last May on your battle with cancer.I've followed it ever since & your ups & downs.I know i've been there.I also was fortunate enough to seek Doctors care @ Johns Hopkins feb 07 for cancer of the pancreas & liver.there's no better place to be.I pray for you & all cancer victims daily.Thanks for the postive attitude it gets us all further daily. Semper Fi Roy
How lovely Laurie's emails were, and what a grand surprise to find your own voice back in the blog, Leroy. Make progress at a pace that helps you both heal and strengthen. Delight in every step without comparison to pre-cancer activity levels. You are progressing wonderfully. Please celebrate your body's abilities, and your spirit's strength. Please rest in the love that surrounds you, and in how far you've come since surgery. It is all such a very great gift!
Sanskrit Proverb
Look to this day
For it is life
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence,
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power --
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today, well-lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
you go boy! You are such an inspiration, my first day at a gym starts tomorrow and I will think of you as I take my first steps on a treadmill. Feel the fear, baby! I will too.
Just want to wish you a happy weekend and I will be thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling more and more like your old self.
Truthfully, I hate these weekends knowing that we will not hear from you or Laurie until Monday morning. I do hope that you have a rest and can enjoy some time together.(maybe more Cheese-steaks?) Weather is awful so you are not missing anything outside.
Just continue as you are doing with the wonderful help you have and I, for one, shall wait anxiously for Monday morning.
Love to you all.
We compare ourselves to how we used to be, not thinking about the trauma the body has just gone through. I'm betting that for those watching your daily progress, it's a miracle. Just look at the smile on Laurie's face. Happy thoughts to you.
Leroy, We are thinking of you. Keep on truckin! Love, Gordon, Jodi, Sam, Nathan & Owen.
Funny that someone else quoted poetry, because that is exactly what I thought was needed. When I need a boost, I need a laugh. So here is one for you, from the new book, Honeybee, by Naomi Shihab Nye. (I remember reading a poem by her on this very blog a year ago)
Cat Plate
That's what we used to do in our house,
says Lydia, when we were mad at out dad-
we served him on the cat plate.
He didn't know, since he never fed the cat.
It made us laugh secretly in the kitchen-
the plate had a crack so maybe
some cat saliva had stuck in there.
It gave us a little buzz.
Once when he was being really mean,
he grabbed what he thought was tuna in a glass container
but it was cat food. Our mother, washing the dishes,
froze with her mouth wide open when she realized-
I shook my head, finger on my lips.
From the living room he said This tuna
has taken on a new taste.
No one told him.
We just did our homework silently
at the kitchen table
and grinned when we caught each other's eye.
There were all kids of ways
we felt better about our lives back then
and sometimes they surprised us.
Welcome to the land of the standing, old friend. You never cease to surprise me.
Keep up the great work Leroy. Cancer is such a humbling disease. It makes us start over in so many ways. You may be starting over but you are doing it w/so much more knowledge and wisdom and life experience. One step at a time.
Hi Leroy -- I've been pondering your message all day. The first thing that came to mind likely is cold comfort: "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." So. Yesterday and today you walked, but today, pedals showed you some different truth. But Leroy, you are still the same person who wowed the therapists. No doubt, you're still the same no-nonsense, no-excuses sort of person. I just wish that you would give yourself a break -- not stop, of course -- not sit down and do nothing, of course -- but just try to be more appreciative of the miracles that your body and your willpower have brought you through thus far.
Anyway, prayers your way and MAJOR hugs to Laurie!
Leroy and Laurie,
I'm thinking of you both today, as I do every day. Stay strong.
Kristina, so sorry about your sister.
Jane
Leroy - it's wonderful to have you back in the saddle. Laurie kept us well informed and we are so grateful for that.
It takes time but don't despair. It's worth it and don't be too hard on yourself.
You are an inspiration to all of us.
Now as I see it, in those days when you could walk 6 miles an hour, you hadn't nearly the strength of spirit nor the wisdom you do now. You hadn't been through this part of your journey, hadn't gained the minions of followers who check in with their feet up, and hearts open to see how you are today. I was once told by a trusted friend to remember that "every day is a good day". I'd say that applies to each one of us, regardless of how fast we're capable of moving.
Leroy, I admire you. I know this has got to be hard for you. Please just take things one day at a time. Try not to look back if you can, just keep looking forward.It is absolutely amazeing what you have gone through but we still see that old Leroy fighting spirit come through.
You and Laurie try to have a special weekend with hopefully some rest. We do appreciate you both so much. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you.
Sasha, you amd husband are also remembered in our prayers. I pray for strength for you and family. And for all who visit this community.
We're cheering you on...and praying each day for more strength and stamina
Leroy, thank you for keeping this blog. You are sharing strength and solidarity with others living through cancer. But you are also helping people like me, who have a friend going through this, to understand what you are going through--we don't always get to hear this level of honesty. It helps us to know how we can support you.
The people who are commenting are but a fraction of the people who are reading--that must be true because I am finally writing this thank you after a year of checking in on you ever since I heard you on NPR.
When you are doing well, you are making people feel better. And when you are feeling bad, I hope you are drawing strength from knowing how many people are out there rooting for you. I am glad you are back at the writing. Stay strong.
Leroy,
Others upstream have repeated the mantra, "One step at a time." There's nothing more to say than that... other than to remind you that our prayers and good wishes are with you.
Carl
"A Pastor's Cancer Diary"
http://www.cewilton.blogspot.com
I'm dealing with cancer myself. Sometimes hanging tough is all you have left. All you can do. That is something I took with me from Vietnam. Something I will always have with me. God bless you brother. I pray for you Leroy.
So proud of you Leroy!! Your determination makes me get up and try harder through the aches and pains chemo and cancer has left behind. You keep trying and I'll keep pryaing for you!!
Hang in there Leroy. I'm about two years in front of you on this one. My cancer showed its ugly face in March of 06. After two surgeries in 5 days I was sedated with more tubes running in and out than I want to think about. After two weeks flat on my back I couldn't stand. It took another few days before the PTs could get me on my feet from a sitting position on the bed and several more days before I could get up from a chair without help. My first walk with a walker was from the bed to the door of my room. A week later, still with a walker, the PTs had to slow me down. I went home with a walker a few days later but my legs were still very weak. PT at home and at the clinic went on for two months and I ditched the walker and the cane but my legs were still a bit weak. It's surprising how long it takes to get your legs back after just two weeks of inactivity. Another week and the dog was walking me around the block. It's a good thing that Chihuahua's don't walk all that fast. The little guy and I had to rest for a day after that walk. The point to all this is that it will take a while to get those legs working again. It's just the way our bodies react and recover.
Thinking of you and praying for you.
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After that day, your life is never the same. "That day" is the day the doctor tells you, "You have cancer." Every one of us knows someone who's had to face that news. It's scary, it's sad. But it's still life, and it's a life worth living. "My Cancer" is a daily account of my life and my fight with cancer.
This blog is no longer active. You can find a list of current NPR blogs at npr.org/blogs.
A journalist for more than 25 years, Leroy Sievers worked at CBS News, the Discovery Channel, and ABC News, where he was the executive producer of Nightline. He wrote this blog daily until his death in August.
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