I will pray that you are much stronger tomorrow. I will pray hard.

Hugs and prayers,

Lori

Sent by Lori | 8:20 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,
Tomorrow will be a better day. For today, watch the super Tuesday 'superbowl'and let us know what you think. I'm sure the commercial won't be as entertaining.

Sent by linda | 8:24 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Being worried is very understandable, I think. Especially because you've been such a warrior, it must be doubly hard to lose any iota of strength and normalcy, not knowing whether or not you'll be able to regain it. My heart goes out to you, Leroy, and my prayers are with you.

Sent by Brenda | 8:35 AM ET | 02-05-2008

And I am worrying right along side you, dear friend.

Sent by Harriet | 8:38 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Hi Leroy,

I empathize with your worrries. The experience of your legs not being strong enough to hold you is a very scary experience.

Do you ever read Jane Kenyon? (poet.) It seems I'm frequently suggesting poetry to you, probably because I feel helpless to be of help, and I know the experience of physiological changes, and I turn to poetry to help my spirit and body and heart get through tough, scary changes.

You are always in my prayers.

Take care,

Kim B.

Sent by Kim B. | 8:39 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy, I am sorry. I know that has to be kind of scarry. Had you started the physical therapy? Maybe over did a little bit? Just hang in there guy and don't let this day ruin your determination to keep trying. Remember baby steps.

We are all in there trying to send some strength your way as you have done for
so many on this blog site.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:44 AM ET | 02-05-2008

I'm so sorry because I am sure this is really scary. Let us know if you had any relief from the large needles.

Stay put and watch political stuff all day that sounds fabulous to me! I'm going to a Super Tuesday party tonight and taking Immigration Reform Guacamole. Other items on the menu are a Relish a win in November tray, Hillary hot wings, Barack Brownies, etc. Take care.

Sent by Dona | 8:44 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Leroy, pray. That's all I can say is pray to the Lord to give you and yours strength to get through what lies ahead.

I am sorry you are having a rough day. I will pray for you.

God Bless you Leroy.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:46 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Indeed, a very grey morning today! Sounds like your new medicine or treatment may be affecting you. How is the pain? I have had dizziness and weakness ever since my stroke last April. While headaches and pressure are not as great, my head still feels strange most of the time. Leroy have you reprocussions from your stroke or could this new weakness be coming from your spine?
Every day is a new experience for you, isn't it? Be careful. Can well understand how unsettling it must be for you, who are such a strong person, to feel so insecure with your ole familiar body. Leroy, you WILL get your "sea legs" back. Strange new medicines are at work!

Sent by J C R | 8:55 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Leroy,
There is no way to prepare for such weakness, or deal with wondering when your strength will return. I know....brew on it! We have the right to do that if we chose...we can't always be so positive.
I guess this is a day that you didn't actually have the strength to get up, and that would make the most of us scared, worried. But being the broken record I am.....you woke up.
You are "in" another day. Some blessing somewhere in that. Another day to be with Laurie, maybe Super Tuesday???? Well, whether watching that will be a stretch for you is an assumption on my part.
While the one step ahead today may have been difficult.....theoretically you took the step and blogged. Another day. Good.

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:58 AM ET | 02-05-2008

My dear sweet Leroy,

I wish there was a way I could take away some of your fears and worry.

Instead I will give you some hope and love throughout this ordeal.

You are an inspiration to so many of us.

You have given us so much more than we have given you...by sharing your story so openly.

Thank you my dear friend.

Sent by Gail Hunsberger Rochester,NY | 8:58 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy, stay strong! Its your faith, courage, Laurie, and the love from the rest of your family and friends that will get you through this. My thoughts and prayers will be with you as always...Laurie

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 9:00 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Have you started using your walker again? I know how discouraging this must be. But as we have all said before , two steps forward one step back seems to be the pattern of this thing. So look at it this way,You are right on target.
Courage Leroy.

Sent by Theresa Lovin, Michigan | 9:01 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Mr.Sievers, my husband had a morphine inplant put in 12 days ago and is getting off the oral pain pills (oxycodone). His cancer pain is subsiding. He is still very week but his eyes are clearer. Dr.William Witt of Lexington,KY is the Pain Maneagement physician that we see.
Be strong,
Emily Lyden

Sent by Emily Lyden | 9:05 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Please use a cane for times like this. I will send you one if you like. We don't want you to fall and besides some people think it is still winter and might get slippery. I wish we had gotten something like the portable step shown on the ez-step web site. I know of one scary fall it could have prevented. Ask your therapist who seems to have experience with this disease.

I hope you have the things you need to make your shower and bath safe too. We rented a battery operated bath lift that was worth every penny for the comfort it brought.

Take care of yourself. Be safe.

Sent by Irene | 9:12 AM ET | 02-05-2008

It's hard for us humans, often wishing things were other than what they are. For today, Leroy, may you be free of suffering and the causes of suffering, and may you know joy and the causes of joy. (May this be true for all of us.)

Sent by M Wms | 9:24 AM ET | 02-05-2008

I too hope you feel stronger tomorrow. It is scary when your body does the un-ordinary. Feel better.

Sent by marilyn tanaka | 9:31 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Weakness is indeed very frightening, Leroy. All of us have, or will experience, the necessity to lean more heavily on the shoulders of those who love us most. Let them be your strength for a while, Leroy. You are in my prayers daily.

Sent by Sharon | 9:32 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Hi Leroy,
I can't even imagine how this must feel for you but please know that my thoughts of support--in whatever fashion possible--are here for you.

peace,
Betsey

Sent by betsey kuzia in albany ny | 9:38 AM ET | 02-05-2008

What a lousy way to start your day! How I, and others, wish it were different, and, tomorrow may well be.

One day at a time; utilize any aids and/or aides available that allow you to manage your life rather than having the weakness dominate everything and every move.

There are a lot of us out here sending you prayers, energy and love.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 9:42 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Wish I had a magic wand. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by Jen | 9:44 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy: Keep up the physical therapy. Exercise your legs while laying in bed. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Holding you UP in prayer!

Sent by Joan Weaver, Front Royal, Va. | 9:52 AM ET | 02-05-2008

My hopes, prayers and thoughts are with you.

Sent by Laurel M. Jones | 10:05 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Have you seen those pedal things where you sit in your own chair and just pedal? Wonder if it might do you good. Try it!

Sent by DiAnn | 10:10 AM ET | 02-05-2008

It is okay to be scared. It is all too normal for this witch of a disease. Pray, wiggle your toes and continue with the PT. You are in our thoughts and prayers every day.
With care, Anne

Sent by anne lumberger | 10:19 AM ET | 02-05-2008

I wish we could all visit you and keep you company Leroy. Please know our hands are reaching out to hold yours at this scary time.

Sent by Leah | 10:23 AM ET | 02-05-2008

The weakness I get it very scarey and had caused me to faint. I just start shaking and collapse. My husband is afraid to leave me to go to work so he brought me a beautiful walker with brakes, seat and a basket. I feel too young for this but have to take the best out of it and hope I will get stronger again. As I hope for you also.

Sent by Vicki (FL) | 10:29 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy: I would like to come visit you. I'm real funny and would make you laugh. I live in Arlington. I just got through with the treatment for breast cancer. We can talk about how and why it is so scary to think that the "trap door" under you has squeeked open a little bit and wonder if there is someone there to catch you. And we can laugh about the good 'ol days when we didn't give a big one about ANYTHING!!!

Sent by MMillar | 10:33 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Thank you for sharing such difficult and personal challenges with us. I am so sorry that you had to skip the therapy session. I hope that tomorrow brings you renewed strength.

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 10:59 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Mr. Sievers,
I've followed your blog for a long time now. My mom has cancer, too, and, is someone who hates the signs of weakness as much as anything. I just wanted to say I appreciate what you are doing...

Sent by KC | 11:10 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Wow. How disconcerting, Leroy. But remember, you put your poor bod through freezing and glueing and radiation and then had an infection...who wouldn't be weak? All that trauma in such a short period of time. I hope that a little rest will serve you well and you'll be able to be up and walking tomorrow. Lots O Love

Sent by Alycia Keating | 11:14 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Good Morning, Leroy and all. I was told that it takes three days to recover from being down one. You've been "down" a while with your back surgery and infection and big pain. If wishes made it so, you would be upheld by many when you try again to test those wobbly legs.

Sent by glenda | 11:19 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy, I'm praying for you. I'm hoping tomorrow you are stronger. I'm sending you gratitude for the encouragement and comfort you have provided to us all these many months. Please don't worry too much- you are in good hands.
Peace

Sent by Jessie | 11:19 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,

Of COURSE that is scary! It's a big change not to be able to stand up. Along with everyone here, I hope this too shall pass and be temporary. I agree with those who suggested exercise of one sort or another anyway. Can't hurt. Might help.I'll be eager for tomorrow's post.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:27 AM ET | 02-05-2008

You've had good days and bad days throughout this whole ordeal. I hope tomorrow is a better day. And if not, then the next day. I'm sending you some walking vibes.

Sent by Marcia | 11:35 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Ah, Leroy, I am so sorry. Hope is the thing with feathers. I think you need to watch the Yes We Can video. You can just google Yes We Can, or watch it at this link with better audio.

http://www.dipdive.com/

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 11:35 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,

You can lean on us. I will be praying as usual for courage and the ability to deal with whatever comes your way. God Bless

Sent by cv | 11:38 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,
Keep moving. Whether it's in your bed or in a chair, keep yourself moving. With that said, the results of todays voting should be exciting and that will give you something to get excited or upset about-clapping or booing...that'll be good for your circulation! Today is what it is!
Live it as best you can, with gusto!

Sent by Deb | 11:44 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Oh Leroy,

I can only imagine your fear! I am sure that the LA (Leroy's army) will rally behind you as usual.

Sending positive thoughts your way....

Sent by Sue Chap | 11:45 AM ET | 02-05-2008

Of course you're worried! That's scary stuff. You didn't tell us how the "dry needle" therapy went. When your physical therapist says this is not uncommon, does he mean it sometimes happens after that needle treatment?

Leroy, I'm holding you in my heart today and praying that tomorrow will bring you renewed strength.

Sent by Doris | 11:56 AM ET | 02-05-2008

I applaud your strength to write and share your self. I hope that your energy has shifted and that you've already forgetten to worry. This community of support is so grounding. I love that Vicki's walker is 'beautiful' - thanks for this inspiration.

Sent by Joan S. | 12:05 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Hi,

People define their life in different ways at different times. Before cancer, a lot of my life was defined by the time, energy, and pleasure I put into and got out of my work. When the cancer operations created permanent disabilities, I changed my focus and defined my life by helping certain others where I could. That gave me a new purpose and a good feeling. I'm now once again trying to change my focus and have tried starting a new business which plays to my disabilities. It's online, I don't have to talk to people (one of my disabilities), I can work from home (mostly in bed), and I can set my own pace. Sounds almost like the perfect job. It is for me. It's not what I wanted to do or expected to be doing at this time in my life, but it's the best I can do right now. That's all one can really expect from themselves.

So, Leroy, if today is a day when it just doesn't make sense to get out of bed, then stay in bed and rest. You know your own body better than anyone else. You know your strengths and limitations. Listen to your body and act accordingly. It's frustrating, it's scary, it's bad, but listen to your body and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. I'm reading a Lee Child's book right now. He is my current favorite writer. The main character, Jack Reacher, says, "prepare for the worst, hope for the best." It's something that I do daily.

Best wishes,
Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 12:19 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy--
Keep hanging in there and remember what I told you. Now is the time to follow that advice. I'm pulling for you.

Best,

Sam Roberts

Sent by Sam Roberts | 12:36 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Hello Leroy. I read your blog daily, and even wrote in once before. I read everyone's comments too. It seems like everyone else always already says what I think, hope and wish for you and so many others.

You helped my family... after I saw your appearance on Living With Cancer, we were able to get my dad to JH for a consultation. Unfortunately they didn't have anything different to offer him at that time, but wow, to have that hope. It was so wonderful. Dad fought with all his will, and we lost him just after Christmas. My family and I reflect on many things, and of course I have deep gratitude for you and what you are doing for so many people. Giving a voice. Giving hope. Giving reality checks. All that. Every day I think of you and send a blessing to you. Blessings to guide you, and to give you strength, comfort, love, hope, peace, health, happiness, all that good stuff. May the rest of today be better for you, and tomorrow even more so. So many people care and love you.

Sent by Jennifer | 12:39 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Hi Leroy,
When I tell my students how important it is to read and write, I'm going to start telling them about you. Because you've made yourself vulnerable by getting your experience on the page, you've facilitated the human connecction we all need. You have created a text and by doing so made countless of us feel less alone, more hopeful, more human. Thank you. I know you have more to say, and I look forward to hearing it.

Sent by carolyn briggs | 12:57 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,
Please, please let people help you when you get up and use a walker or a cane. Now isn't the time to fall because your legs gave out - not that any time is right for that...
I know it's hard to be weak, particularly when you've been so strong so much of your life. But even though that physical strength is waning, your spirit is increasing exponentially, going out to all the places where your blog is read.
You are very much beloved.

Sent by Greta Chaar | 1:44 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Leroy,

I too, am worried, and will have you constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Connie | 1:52 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Leroy, I hate worry ... it does nothing positive but it creeps in so easily. Hang in there and know that you have a legion of folks sending you high positive thoughts and well wishes.

Sent by Pat Z | 2:17 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Dearest Leroy,
You should make today "Leroy's Day". Have Laurie get you both a good movie, get some "very fattening" snacks and rest and relax and try to take it easy and build your strength up. Let today be a "lazy" day. God bless

Sent by Teresa in WV | 2:21 PM ET | 02-05-2008

This I can understand and relate to.

Like many of you, I've had to take steroids twice during the past two years. And many don't realize that steroids cause something called "limb/girdle wasting," which essentially means that the longer you take it, your muscles in the legs and arms start to waste away. I will never forget the day that I couldn't get up from the floor. Or the day I first started having to pull myself up the stairs by gripping onto the bannister. I even had a difficult time sitting down on the john.

It's intensely disconcerting, upsetting, and horribly frightening.

I'm here to tell you, though. I realize our situations are different. But today I'm as strong as I was before diagnosis. My strength came back. And yours will too. That must sound like so many empty promises, I know. But all our love and faith pouring out to you is bound to be worth something...

Sent by Jordis in Ohio | 2:25 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Leroy,

My Dad, who has Parkinson's, has days during which his legs just don't work and then the next day they do. No explanation really, it is just the way it is. So, I'm going to consider this your weak legs day - period. Hoping tomorrow will be better. Holly

Sent by Holly | 2:31 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,

I posted once today, but just came across an exceptional speech on youtube from Jimmy V at the 1993 ESPY awards. It was about how he was dealing with cancer. Here's the link if you're interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePXlkqkFH6s

The message, never give up.

Ed

Sent by Ed Steger | 2:31 PM ET | 02-05-2008

I'm sorry you've had this latest setback Leroy, I can appreciate it must be scary when your body gives you such a tangible reminder of what is going on inside of you. I hope you're feeling better tomorrow, maybe talking to your palliative team at Hospice might help?

Sent by Lisa | 3:14 PM ET | 02-05-2008

There is nothing to me more frightening than feeling weak. In eight years of having recurrent cancer it is the worst of any emotion or physical reality for me. I used to dive into a deep pit of terror and murky despair everytime I couldn't walk much or move, due to lack of stamina - or back/leg/foot problems, whatever.

Over a period of time I learned that that feeling of weakness was VARIABLE. A difficult lesson for me to learn because it seemed counter intuitive. Now when I feel weak I can tolerate it. (AND I trained my husband to look me straight in the eye and say:" Remember that tomorrow you may feel completely different.)

I hope you wake up tomorrow or next week and feel completely different.

Nancy Oliveri

Sent by Nancy Oliveri | 3:22 PM ET | 02-05-2008

You are not your body and you are one of the strongest people I've ever heard of. To share your worries and your pain in this way is something many people would not be strong enough to do. It (and so many other things you've done) makes you a hero to me and to many. I'm so sorry you're going through this and I wish you well.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 3:33 PM ET | 02-05-2008

All the love comin in today from commenters, would that it could make your legs stronger and your body bolder...This too shall pass. Love and peace to you Leroy and to all the contributors. from Sherri in Texas, BC dx 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 3:48 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,

I know you are going to feel stronger tomorrow. This stuff just takes time, and there are lots of ups and downs.
All of our prayers are with you. Strength is on the way!

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:15 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy, When as Cancer Patients are we worry free?? It seems the only thing that is consistant is the worry. Fear is the other thing that seems to be there always. To be scared when you go to get up is shocking. You don't worry about being able to get up; this is something very different. We all live each day with the baggage the disease gives us, but this! You are a big strong guy, this can't be happening. Maybe it's normal, maybe it's to be expected, but if they are expecting it, why is the patient the last to know?? Some things would not be so scary, if we, like the Doctor's were expecting it. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 4:23 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy - Sorry that you are having to confront these physical difficulties - hoping for better news soon - so glad you are able to share this with us. Thinking good thoughts for you and Laurie.

Sent by Leigh Hough | 4:43 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy, hope you don't worry too much about not having your sea legs today. A physical therapist once told me that the body will do what it wants to do (or not want to do!). I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 4:44 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Praying for strength...In all forms...
Peace and Prayers Always....

Sent by Julie | 4:57 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Leroy,

I read your site daily, and my thoughts go out to you, when you are feeling down. Today, is no exception, relax, watch the politics on tv, and wait for your body to gather its strength.

Best regards,

Dave

Sent by Dave | 5:35 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Just read all comments today and can't say as I can add anything to them.
Praying for you. When I first saw you on Ted Koppel's program, I remember you as a big man (not fat, just big), so I just figured the legs have alot to hold up and maybe they needed a rest period :-) Listen to your body and trust God.

Sent by Jo Ann Baswell | 6:21 PM ET | 02-05-2008

sending love and prayers your way!! perhaps too much cheering for the Giants??? perhaps not!! Tell those legs to get with the program! and thank you for all you do for us here in blog land....

Sent by Karen | 8:54 PM ET | 02-05-2008

My thoughts and faith that you will be stronger tomorrow are with you.

Your silent companion

Sent by Ivan Gil | 10:42 PM ET | 02-05-2008

You are in my prayers, Leroy; that you will feel stronger tomorrow and will get stronger each day.

Sent by Dee | 10:49 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Dear Leroy, This is a heart stopping moment. May you find calm and quiet in this latest storm.

Sent by Linda | 11:17 PM ET | 02-05-2008

Hey Leroy,
I'm watching the Super Fat Tuesday results and praying for you.

Sent by Shelley | 12:20 AM ET | 02-06-2008

Dear Leroy,

So many scary things have happened and you have gotten past all of them. remember your physical therapist said it is not uncommon.

Spend the day in bed reading, watching a good movie or cuddling with Laurie.

My husband and I used to spend every sunday in bed doing everything imaginable, well not too wild (at least not too often). Ma and Pa Ketle, Blondie and Dagwood, the huge SF chronicle, breakfast and coffee, and some cuddling...

I guess we have to make the best of what we have at that moment. Live in the now.

Always thinking of you & Laurie. there's nothing sweeter than having the love and support of a good woman.

love and peace,

susan
california

Sent by susan | 2:35 AM ET | 02-06-2008

I wish you clarity of thought, peace in your heart, and strength in your soul!

Sent by Michael (Caregiver Survivor) | 2:39 AM ET | 02-06-2008

TO LEROY, BUT HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO. INSTEAD OF WAITING TO FEEL YOU CAN GO TO PT, HAVE THEM COME TO YOU. THEY WILL. AND YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE BUILDING STRENGTH - THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, MORE THAN WELL-WISHERS.
AND, UNTIL THEY SHOW UP, CAN YOU GET A HELPING HAND TO HELP YOU SIT SAFELY ON THE EDGE OF YOUR BED? JUST A SWING OF A LEG FROM THE KNEE MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER. GOOD FOR CIRCULATIOIN TOO. THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE, AND I'M SURE TRUE OF A LOT OF PEOPLE.
NEVER HAVE YOU FAR AWAY FROM MY THOUGHTS, K HALE

Sent by KATHLEEN HALE | 5:21 AM ET | 02-06-2008

Susan-
What GREAT ADVICE you gave Leroy and Laurie-
"I guess we have to make the best of what we have at the moment. Live in the now."

Only God knows our timely passage to whatever awaits us. Leroy, treasure each day for itself, and for the rest of us, Susan gave stellar advice. Sometimes we forget just to count our blessing, instead of our earthly treasures. Susan, you're my kind of gal.

Sent by Laura | 6:36 AM ET | 02-07-2008

Leroy,

As with so many of the people whose lives you have touched, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hang tough.

Sent by Dennis Boni | 6:02 PM ET | 02-09-2008

It has been quite a few days with no new postings. You're on my mind and I hope you are finding more strength, and that you have peace and rest with loved ones.

Sent by Reed Proctor | 10:29 AM ET | 02-13-2008