Leroy, you are accepting those physical limitations but you are still uniquely you. Every time I read this blog I know that you are still who you were and are. We all evolve with situations and experiences. Some of those experiences we would have rather passed up and others we embraced. We are moving with this experience together besides driving can be dangerous! Happy St. Patty's Day from Boston.

Sent by Pat Z. | 7:41 AM ET | 03-17-2008

I see that you have been pondering on the intricaties of life this weekend. Good conclusion...but hard to come by I know. Hope this proves to be a good week for you with steady progress made in you physical rehab. I'll check on you every morning as usual! I love that you are "keeping it real" for us.

Sent by Susan | 7:44 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy,
I think there are so many life experiences that make things different. It would be very easy to become a defeatist most days, I'm sure. I see it with my mother, who has heart failure. We keep reminding her that she still has a life to live, grandchildren to see...and yes, her symptoms just make things "different."
So, I applaud your approach, because it is not an easy one. It is difficult to have to ask for help, but I think you have to remember that those who help you care so very much!
Cheers to you on this chilly St. Paddy's Day in North Jersey!

Sent by Kathleen, NJ | 7:45 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Dear Leroy -

Just remember what you haven't lost: your mental capacities. You are still you, in spite of the physical (and mental) challenges you face, what makes you Leroy is still in tact.

Don't feel bad about asking for help. Many people have to.

Remember that the people who help you do it with love.

I believe you have a couple of kids. Maybe you should have them come to help Laurie (maybe they already do?). Think of all the times you picked up after them, drove them places, lifted them up - they owe you big time!

Have a good week. Don't worry. All of us in this little cybercommunity see your improvements. And hope we are helping with the mental lifting.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:52 AM ET | 03-17-2008

additionally, your life is different in that you have thousands of people who have never had the opportunity to meet you but feel like you are a very important element in thier daily routine. take care. God speed.

Sent by sarah | 7:57 AM ET | 03-17-2008

I believe its like grieving a loss, just like a death, but different. A way of life , a loss. A loss is a loss. If you look at Elisabeth Kubler Ross' work, its very fitting. Honoring a loss helps us move on I believe. But we have to go through the process. So, yes, Leroy, I think its adjusting to what you may never be able to do and look to what you can do, but at the same time honoring your losses, its not easy. but not impossible either.

Sent by Jenn | 7:58 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Good Morning Leroy! It Right now it is a beautiful, bright sunny, St Patrick's Day. What a thoughtful, insightful message from you this morning. Our ole Leroy is still there in a "slightly damaged and repaired wrapper". Now we are discovering the thoughts your mind is capable of as it heals from the insults done to it and your body. Thank you for sharing your true thoughts and fears with us. We are with you all the way and love you for your honesty.
You are truly getting better and stronger again and your mind and body are healing together. That is good.

Sent by J C R | 7:59 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Oh Dearest Leroy "Brown baddest man in the whole dam town". And I mean bad in the new good way....smile. Now I know that Sievers is not an Irish name but I hope that your Irish eyes are smiling as you are HERE for the dawn of another amazing spring. In the words of an old and wise patient "If I can't have it the way I like it then I'll like it the way I have it". How's a wee drop of green suds sound?
cheers
fondly
sue

Sent by se | 8:01 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Morning Leroy,
There are many things we have to let go of and realize our ability to ever be "the same" is over. BUT, you are so right, we cannot be the living DEAD. We are alive. We simply are switching up the way we do things.
Do we have to always like it...NO, but at least we still keep going and that is what counts.
Happy St.Patrick's Day to you.
Prayers, Blessings and May The Grace Of God Be With You,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:01 AM ET | 03-17-2008

I understand how difficult it is to accommodate to lessened physical (and even mental) ability. It just doesn't seem right to not be able to do the things that were once effortless. I'm able to do many of the things that I could do before the TRAM breast reconstruction surgery took my abdominal muscles, but there are some things I'll never be able to do, and some that will always be less easy than before. That is just the way that it is.
You know of course, how much we all want for you to have as complete a recovery as is possible. In the meantime, it's good to be philosophical about it, as you seem to be. Anger and self-pity are understandable, but certainly don't help us to move forward.
By the by....your mentioning being unable to pick things up made me wonder. Did any of your therapists order a grabber for you? That's a piece of equipment that would be handy for you to have to pick up things that you can't reach.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 8:02 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy, acceptance of our "new" way of living is not easy BUT it doesn't mean that we are "less" now than before! We are just different. I don't mean to trivialize the challenges because they are huge but I also know that we can overcome some and accommodate others so that our lives are meaningful. I will repeat myself from previous blogs...your contribution to helping the human condition (us) is so much greater by your sharing of your journey with cancer than anything else you've ever done (respectfully)! It may not seem like it to you but there are hundreds who say differently. Much good has come from your adversity and your wiilingness to share with us and to help others.

Yes, our old lives are gone except in our memories. In your case, it has been replaced by something different and it is magnificent to behold!!

Blessings and prayers as always for you and Laurie.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:12 AM ET | 03-17-2008

It is very sobering to realize that our life changes each and every day. Sometimes something GREAT happens and we are irrevocably changed by it. We are happier than we ever were. OR something bad happens and the result is that we are changed but not in a good way. What I have come to realize from reading what you, Leroy, write is that you just have to accept each day and do what you can do to live in the day. I think that you more than anyone else I have ever known have taught me this lesson. What once was does not matter because you can't get it back. And what will be in the future doesn't matter because you cannot determine it or control it. So your best option is to do what you are doing: appreciating "the moment" when you feel good. My thoughts are with you...

Sent by Helene Weingarten | 8:15 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy, as much as we will all wish that we can still be Superman or Superwoman, reality sets in and we can't for a variety of reasons.

Accepting that it's okay to ask for help is tough for all of us. Just reading your blogs gives me the clue that you probably were the one that people went to. Getting help with the physical activities is not a bad thing - eventually we all get to that state.

As you get more help with the physical activities, keep in mind that you continue to help the rest of us through your weekday words. You have done more for us than we can ever repay - that is incredibly apparent through the comments posted daily in your response to your words.

Life is so much more interesting and fulfilling when interacting with others. As a saying I heard in Kenya stated "No man is an island" and in my older/wiser self, I finally understand it.

Now let's go make some of that proverbial lemonade - want strawberries in yours? How about Laurie's?

Sent by Marie | 8:24 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Hello! I am so glad you are here to start my day with your thought provoking words. There are changes to deal with during and after the time the cancer demon rears its ugly head: accomodations must be made and life styles modified.

It is so very hard to depend on others and ask for help with the simplest and most personal tasks and maddening to need a "grabber" tool when something falls to the floor.

We manage to develop ways and means to handle the challenges cancer brings.

It is a new and different sort of life, BUT, the critical element is that it IS life and we are still here...able to make a fist and shake in cancer's face.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 8:54 AM ET | 03-17-2008

I had my head shaved this weekend. The hair was just barely beginning to fall out, but I didn't want to wait until it was coming out by handfuls. After all, it was Saturday, the weather was nice, my son and brother were visiting, my son had a new video camera and needed fodder for his YouTube "blog," and my wig looks okay, even though I haven't spent the $65 to have it styled. I think I will give away all my long hair accesories, though. I doubt that my hair will ever be long again. I know it will grow back, but I doubt that I will be growing it past my neck ever again.

I am also learing to give my friends things they can do for me. I finally had to share a suggested schedule for the wonderful people at the churches where I work and worship to bring me meals. They were bringing them on days when I really felt quite well, so to avoid embarassment, but to allow people to help, I finally had to share my chemo schedule, letting pepole know when I really need the help.

It is good that we are learning how to give people the opportunity to show their love for us.

Sent by Ruth from Virginia | 9:07 AM ET | 03-17-2008

"My old life is gone, and isn't going to come back. I need to accept what has happened and make the best of it." I guess I never really know when you are going to write something that speaks so directly and personally to me - I had just emailed my sister that I just want this all to be a bad dream that I wake up from one day! Instead, today I will try and take your words to heart - I will try to accept what has happened and make the best of it.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 9:12 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Top O' the Morning Leroy,
Reading you post this morning was like watching the sky clear after a dark summer thunderstorm. The unexpected change in weather has cancelled your long planned picnic, but it looks as if you might enjoy an ice cream and a stroll later in the evening afterall!
Our picnic was cancelled recently...We're going out for that ice cream ourselves later on. See you there!

Sent by Deb | 9:13 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy,
Everything about dealing with cancer is hard but seeing how my husband has changed is one of the most difficult. As you have said, looking at the "before" pictures are difficult. He can do almost nothing except his personal needs and this is a man who never let anyone do things for him. The one thing that has not changed is his sense of humor. He still laughs and his spirits are always high. As difficult as the physical part is thank God ya'll still have your good spirits! Hang in there and laugh when you can. Just remember Laurie is grieving your losses and celebrating the things you haven't lost.

Sent by Kathie | 9:21 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Thanks Leroy. You are an inspiration!

God bless you.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 9:30 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Yes, you can grieve the loss of your 'old' life, but all of the changes that have come with this 'new' life aren't necessarily bad. Some of the positives for my husband and I? We were forced to slow down ... got off that fast-paced workaholic routine with a quick kiss good-bye before heading out the door each morning and a little chat before heading to bed each night - and now we rejoice in our new-found joy of time to truly be together. We appreciate each new day we're given because we recognize just how quickly it can be taken away. That's true for everyone, of course, but it seems easier to keep in focus because cancer has entered our lives.

And do keep hope alive, Leroy, because even when you think you'll never be able to do something again ... you just may. Didn't think hubby would ever walk again but he is, albeit slow and a bit unsteady - and after nearly 2 years ... he drove the car last week!

Never, ever give up.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 10:11 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Man, It's hard accepting the losses--especially of things everyone else "normal" seems to take for granted. That is the very thing I struggle with daily--the worst one being having severe swallowing problems.

But also, it seems to me like I've lost enough to the battle with the disease (so far I am cancer free) without losing more to anger and regret over what I've lost (if that makes sense). It sounds like you feel the same.

Sometimes it helps to think of how much you have left to enjoy. I'll make a deal for you--you enjoy some really good food and a lonmg talk with someone for me and I'll enjoy being able to bend over and pick things up and get in the car and drive for you.

Sent by N.R. | 10:11 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy: Give yourself some credit...you do have a choice...the choice to live in a pity party (which you could rightfully do)or some other similar state...Yet you don't...you keep choosing life regardless of your physical condition. There is always a choice...even when the choice is to stop "fighting" so hard to stay alive...even that could be choosing to live...just live a different sort of life, with different goals, like living without constant pain, for example. You really are a special man...and I say that knowing that in the darkest time of the day it will not help much to know that. God Bless, be well
Sandra Yudilevich

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 10:42 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy, It's good to be alive and thank God that you have people surrounding you that are happy that you can ask for their help and are happy to help you. Take care, rejoice in Spring!

Sent by Ruth White | 10:48 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Life changes are always hard. I have finally decided to retire. It was a difficult decision, especially because I made the reverse decision when I was diagnosed almost three years ago and told I had six months. It was so obvious to me then that I loved what I did and wanted to do it everyday that was possible. Over the past three years I have not stopped loving what I do but the direction of my department has changed and the support is no longer is place and when it really came down to things life is too short. How active I can remain doing what I love without the work structure will remain to be seen. Leroy, try to get the most from each day whether it is making physical progress, writing, or sharing with friends.

Sent by Dona | 11:10 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Good mornin' Leroy,
Here's hopin' a little of the An ??dh na Gaelilge (the luck of the Irish) visits you today. And remember, the fat lady is NOT singing.

Sent by Sharon | 11:29 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy,
My doc says "get out and walk" I haven't done it. I will now. Because I can and I never know how long I"ll be able to. I have bone mets in the spine too. Thank you for reminding me to do what I can do now and be grateful for it.

Kate

Sent by Kate Fuehrer | 11:53 AM ET | 03-17-2008

I think it is so hard to accept these new limitations. My son, Andrew's world has grown so small. He is 35 and I drive him each day for his radiation treatment. He has six brain tumors - is right leg is permanently swollen. He lost hearing in his right ear. My husband, his father, is coming to live with him tomorrow while I return to work. I used to tell my friend that when others went through terrible pain (operations) most times they would get back to normal. You know how terrible chemo treatment is and for my son, the outlook after all this suffering wasn't good. Mixed results were ugly words we heard from the doctors. Who would think a 35 year old man, whose last visit to the hospital previously was when he was nine years old, would live like this.

It is hard to look for at the bright side. I thank God for giving us our son for these years and pray that both of you suffer less and less.

Thanks for your humor.

Sent by Maureen | 11:57 AM ET | 03-17-2008

Dear Leroy,
Thanks for your words of encouragement! You are so right that "it" is not over.
As for picking up things you drop, do you have one of those "grabber" things? That really helped my husband when he had his hip and back surgeries.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 12:02 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Saturday my pretty young pedicurist, Natalie, who is only in her early 30's told me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer just a few days earlier. She will have a double mastectomy (her choice) this coming week.

She had a long list of questions about cancer treatment in general, knowing that my husband has metatastic bladder cancer and is now living with the cancer, but has run out of treatment options.

I was really moved by her story. Found that while I'm toughened to my own cancer story, was saddened to see one so young (the age of my own children) take on the cancer battle.

We are fortunate, Larry, you and I and many on this blog, that we had our families and careers and learned many life lessons before cancer entered our daily conciousness.

I guess this is also part of our legacy as cancer warriors, helping the new recruits. I'm usually a pretty tough old bird (55 next week), but Natalie's story really got to me. Found out I'm not as numbed by four years of cancer fighting as I thought!

Another day, another step forward.

Sent by Ricci | 12:10 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy-the secret to everything is faith and laughter. I just lost a brother to a 15 year battle to cancer and he never lost his sense of humor. The grabber will become your best friend. Since 2004, I have had brain surgery, hip replacement, 2 cataract surgeries, and skin cancer removal involving my nose, twice. I am only 57, so who knows what other fun is in store for me.You will be amazed at what you can live with and learn how to adjust. Your concept of normal just has to change every once in awhile. Just last week, my husband was out of town, some lawn furniture blew over the back "cliff" behind our house. I got my grabber, slid down the side of the hill about 10 feet, grabbed each chair with the grabber and flew them back up over the hill.Getting back up wasn't all that easy. It was very stupid, but extremely satisfying. After my brain surgery, I can't tell you how long I drove back and forth to work with one eye closed because of double vision. You just have to change what normal is for you, and make the best of it. I pray that you continue to get better, and keep laughing. Happy St. Pat's Day

Sent by Kathy Philips | 12:22 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy,

Please don't accept that it won't get any better. You've been beat up pretty bad in the last couple of months. Keep doing the exercises - I believe you will get more mobility and the radiation will nuke the cancer. I wish the very best for you. Don't forget to wish the very best for yourself.

Sent by Marcia | 12:22 PM ET | 03-17-2008

I can really relate to today's entry: Between a spinal problem PLUS old age, I get very frustrated in attempting simple tasks that now require help from others. Everything seems to be a major project ---- especially if it involves a ladder.

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 12:23 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Thanks, Leroy for not "going gently," Those of us who are on the same path (in the final analysis, everybody -it may not be cancer but it'll be something) can take courage from your approach. I'm blessed and lucky not to be as far down the road as you are, but even the minor inconveniences of bbrain cancer and chemo are bothersome - and I really dislike being helped with something i can do myself. Luckily my caregiver is (usually) aware of this and often does the best service by staying out of the way - And I know it's hard to know when to do that.

Vaya con Dios

John Shippee
Atlanta, GA

Sent by John Shippee | 12:26 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Your resilience is serving you well, Leroy, and is a lesson by example to all of us. As for dropped items, do you have access to one of those handy-dandy reachers that can grasp items a long way away (on the ground or off a shelf)? Super invention and there are lots of styles. If interested, ask your therapist to show you some or look them up online at a site like Sammons Preston Rolyan or other company. Keep reinventing yourself as you go, Leroy. You've always been great at that. You are in new territory, but reinvention will serve you well here too!

Sent by Sarah | 12:34 PM ET | 03-17-2008

I read an article once about being happy despite the challenges of aging. I think it has parallels to your situation. It was an article by a psychologist, about his father. The father had a love of the outdoors and had a huge property that he walked and cultivated and pruned. As he aged he could not walk the acres so decided to concentrate more on his vegetable garden. As that became more difficult, he downsized his gardening passion to just a flower bed near the house. As that became too much, he indulged his passion with a flowerbox on the windowsill. As he lay in his bed until the end of his life, he contented himself with enjoying the blooms of a potted African violet near his bedside.

Do what you can, while you can. When you can't do something anymore, let it go. Focus on what you have. Counting up your losses is the fastest way to feel impoverished.

I'm glad you are with us, Leroy. I enjoy your spirit.

Sent by Celeste | 12:37 PM ET | 03-17-2008

The new normal can stink sometimes, Leroy. It does beat the alternative but it doesn't mean you don't mourn your losses. You're only human. What a phrase. I'm sick with a fever and I am kind of irrational right now so I'll keep it this short.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 12:42 PM ET | 03-17-2008

This weekend we celebrated the 50th birthday of a friend who has been beset by multiple health problems for at least 15 years. Unfortunately, he has compounded them by drug and alcohol abuse and has little chance of ever improving. As his friends, we wish he had asked for and accepted more help. We wonder if we could have made a difference.

It's okay to let that little fire of frustration burn every now and then to remind you of your independence. But don't be afraid to ask your friends for help. It will make things a little easier for you - and for them.

Peace to you, friend.

Sent by Patte | 12:45 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Wisdom shines through your entry today, Leroy. Reminds me of my favorite Mark Twain quote: "Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out."

Sent by Wendy | 12:53 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy,

My comments only echo what has been said: change is a constant. Geting to live within it is the challenge. You are doing remarkably well, rolling with the punches. Allowing time and the things we cannot control to just pass over us is difficult indeed. We seem to want to reach out and conduct, where we have no effect, because not to means we are quitters, all-in or beaten. That is so far from reality. Acceptence is the greatest freedom.

There comes a time in our lives we pick our battles. Some battles are left to others, like driving or picking up the errant object. Other battles are still left to ourselves; our outlook, feelings and what we want for lunch. It is in figuring out which goes where is the secret to adding quality to life.

Keep your chins up :o)

Sent by Teri Thomas | 12:57 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Hi Leroy!!
We love hearing your good spirits shine through. Any green beer today? That actually doesn't sound very good. Maybe a shamrock shake!
We are cheering for you each step of the way. Sending love, four leaf clovers and a couple of leprauchauns!!!
Kathy P...warn us before you do any more one-eyed driving OK? You crack me up! Beware Kathy and her grabber!!! I bet she could take down a burglar with that thing! You go Kathy! Go Leroy!!!

Sent by bethann | 1:02 PM ET | 03-17-2008

I think a lot of people can identify with your situation. Strokes, heart attacks, and, yes, even cancer are life-changing. Yet we adapt and adjust as best we can, and look for the truest things in life, loving and being loved.

Sent by Scott S. | 1:07 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Hi,
I read your blog daily but have never responded.
I'm a big chicken when it comes to hospitals, procedures, all medical stuff, but last week I volunteered for a colon study at the Cleve. clinic. You gave me the courage and determination to do it. Thanks for writing the truth and being an inspiration for the rest of us.

Sent by Lynda Zielinski | 1:25 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Acceptance of the "new normal" is hard, but necessary, I think. Just always leave the door open a tiny crack for the unexpected. Life does have a way of handing out surprises at times. Meanwhile, you're still Leroy. You still have relationships with people who love and need you. The sun still shines, as it's doing here in Northern California. The wild poppies are starting to bloom. St. PAtrick's Day is my birthday -- I'm 63, and still here!! so, Top o' the Mornin', Y'all!

Sent by Doris | 1:59 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Your thinking is on the right track Leroy! Yes, life will never be like it used to be, for any of us. But life continues nevertheless. The key to happiness is enjoying what one does have and not worry about what one had or would like to have. The more energy we spend on the good things around us, the better we feel. Not being able to pick up things on the floor, or drive, or whatever - it's a bummer; BUT, at least you can still drop things on the floor, ride in the car, etc. And that is SO MUCH BETTER than the alternative which is none of the above. You hang in there -- hang on to that silver lining whatever, wherever it may be -- it will help you get through the hard times. Know that I, as all of us, are rooting for you and praying for you every day!

Sent by Tom May | 2:13 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Thanks for the upbeat note today - I needed that reminder that yes, life will never be the same, but it is a life worth living.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 3:13 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Right on, Leroy! Your last sentence says it all. Very important message for patients,caretakers and medical staff!

As long as there is life, there is Hope.
As long as there is Hope there is life.

Sent by Marilyn | 3:17 PM ET | 03-17-2008

For those who believe there is a reason for every "accident" then the fact that I first found your blog today has meaning. My husband is adjusting to the losses caused by mouth and throat irradiation - he can't swallow anything but liquids, and can't taste anything. this has been so for 6 months. So much of social life is centered around sharing food. He is still in the active grieving process, but I will give him your comments to read. Thank you for your courage in sharing your experience.

Sent by Katherine Runyon | 3:42 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy, I know there have been so many changes for you. You are an absolutely remarkable person. To go through these changes and to try to adapt to them is not easy. Mentally or physically. Your shareing with all of us is so appreciated. It helps others to know that they are not alone in all the changes takeing place in their lives. We can appreciate the NEW things in our lives, big or small that we are able to accomplish. My heart is with you and Laurie as you go along this path. I read your blog every morning and it helps me to go forward.I thank you for that.

Al Cato, I too appreciate your comments always. They are uplifting. At a time when reaching out for any kind of strength that is there you always provide. My prayers are with you, Leroy and Laurie, and all of our members of this special community.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 3:57 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Happy Birthday Doris!!!

Sent by Leah Forst | 3:59 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Hi Leroy,
A wise post today. We are with you!

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 5:04 PM ET | 03-17-2008

What a guy! You are not rolling over to this and we, your appreciating team-mates, are with you every muscle straining step of the way! Go team!

Sent by Lucy Groh | 6:13 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Dear Leroy,

Yes, it's the pits. But it's a whole lot better than the alternative. And, you've already made so many strides that you know "different" is a moving reference. Here's something small and inexpensive that will make life easier in the meantime, it's called a PickStick or somesuch...I can't find mine to give you the exact name -- it's lost in a closet I suppose -- hallelujah!! -- because I don't need it (anymore and hopefully not again for a long, long time if ever again) but it's a gadget that comes in two lengths -- you and I both need the long version. It lets you pick up things you dropped, the morning paper, or something across the couch on the coffee table. It's pretty nifty. One of life's small favors. They sell them in medical supply shops -- and you can cheer as you head past the walkers! You're (slowly but steadily) movin' on... Best wishes.

Sent by Marcia | 8:18 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy,

I think this post is one of your best. Accepting limitations is infinitely better than spending energy trying to overcome them when that can't be. Accepting limitations is NOT giving up the whole game. You are such a wonderful teacher.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 8:50 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy, you write of your physical limitations and weaknesses and yet there???s so much strength in your message.

I mourn your loss of mobility and freedom and can only image how much it impacts your day to day life. Yet, here you are today moving on to acceptance. (Mind you, I don???t mean surrender!)

Keep doing what you CAN do and accept help when you need it. You???ve never looked stronger than you do today.

Sent by Rhonda Howard | 9:10 PM ET | 03-17-2008

You always make me appreciate all I have because you are doing the same. I wish I had a convertible to drive you wherever you want to go. Keep on keeping on.

Sent by Sarah in Philly | 10:21 PM ET | 03-17-2008

In spite of all you have been through, you are still fighting and adapting, analyzing and understanding, reaching out to us via your blog and feeling the love of so many people who feel that they know you as we cheer you on. Sounds like you are living more than some people who aren't fighting cancer. Keep going!! You are a miracle in progress. I read your words and feel like you are talking about me. My world will never be the same again. It is "different" but not "over." The way you put things has really helped me. I am not a cancer patient. I am a surviving caretaker. I may not feel your horrible physical pain but emotionally, I will be fighting too and cheering for you to keep us all going.

Sent by Lorraine Glass | 10:25 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Leroy, Has anyone told you they love you today? Well, I love you Leroy.

I have never sent a comment all these, thankfully, many months now. I've waited to 'get to know you' through your journal entries. I read everyone. This last one did it. I just know I love you now. And I want you to know that. Today, I wish I could meet you so I could give you a hug in person. Then, after the hug, I would look you in the eyes with my hands holding your biceps and tell you I love you. Simple as that no explanation in person, none would be needed. But here I want you to know; You are so humble, kind and gentle, especially to yourself. Your acceptance of things day by day through your struggle to accept is such a moving power of example for me. I'm tearing up now...but they are tears of love. Keep, keepin' on and hugs to you. Love, your friend, Graham.

PS you are often in my thoughts through the day. You are definately in my prayers.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 10:30 PM ET | 03-17-2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day Leroy! You are in my prayers.

Sent by Jennifer in CA | 12:25 AM ET | 03-18-2008

You are right, sir! Different is not the same as over. People can adapt to so many changes, it's remarkable.
As always, I wish you the best, and I pray for you (and so many others)frequently.
Sincerely,
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 1:47 AM ET | 03-18-2008

Katherine, if you haven't found it yet, there is a patient/survivor board at the oral cancer foundation website which might help you and your husband. Here's the address:
http://www.oralcancerfoundation.org/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=cfrm

I had mouth and throat radiation too and I just wanted to tell you that, at 6 mos. out, your husband still has a lot of healing to go. Things will get better for him.

Sent by N.R. | 7:40 AM ET | 03-18-2008

Dear Graham,
As a caretaker/spouse for the last fifteen months, I have experienced many different emotions one being extreme frustration with the disease, the doctors, and even at times, my husband who is so very sick. After reading your blog this morning, I am reminded that although my husband knows how much I love him, I must make sure to tell him so every chance I get. These words will ease both his pain and mine. I thank you for your post.

Sent by Elaine | 8:01 AM ET | 03-18-2008

Your last line says it all, Leroy. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER. It is difficult and it is not as it was - BUT NOT OVER and that is the major point. I hate that you are in pain and uncomfortable and cannot do what you used to do; that sucks big time. But, you have Laurie and others who love you and will help you and are really glad that you are there AND WITH THEM and they are more than glad to do for you. Take care and of couse G-d bless you.

Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 8:09 AM ET | 03-18-2008

Having to rely on other people to help me was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Keepy working on that physical therapy and be patient. Maybe soon you won't have to rely on others quite so much.

Sent by Gyla | 10:41 AM ET | 03-18-2008

Thank you Elaine,

I'm most grateful and touched by your response...just even the fact that you responded. What more could I ask for in life on any given day than to be told I have eased the pain of the lovely couple you and Leroy must be. I know your struggle I've been through it too. Thank you. Graham.

Sent by Graham, Sag Harbor New York | 1:29 PM ET | 03-18-2008