Ahh, the beloved hospital gowns! Always use 2, the first for a gown and the second for a robe. That doesn't help with the length I know. But on the good side of this story..you're feeling well enough to complain about clothing! And I want to assume that the nausea is being controlled?! Have a good day!

Sent by Susan | 8:25 AM ET | 03-27-2008

hi leroy, just draw an odd face on whatever part of your body is being exposed by the gown. that of it as a cancer fashion stmt

Sent by sarah | 8:32 AM ET | 03-27-2008

LOL!!! You made me remember about my dad and gowns!!! LOL!!! He ALWAYS had the same issue and said the same EXACT thing as you!!! Funny memories!

We would do the same thing Susan mentioned...lol Hey...you have to make it all work some how and make the best of it!

Take care and keep hanging in there and stay in good spirits!

Sent by Cristina Gonzalez, Tampa, Florida | 8:45 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Hi Leroy,
I'm impressed that you make new aquaintances whereever you go. Not everyone would be able to "Get out of their own head" to see what's going on around them. Kudos to you for being so aware and friendly. What a wonderful trait!

Sent by Elaine | 8:56 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Hi,
You are describing your "new normal" of life with radiation. You are a model of how resilient people can be, able to adjust to routines they couldn't imagine living with before the situation demanded it.

Adjusting to the "new normal" is highly adaptive; it frees energy to live your life as fully as possible within the constraints of illness.

With hope, Wendy

Sent by Wendy S. Harpham, MD | 9:12 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy, Good Morning and thank you for your whimsical comments about your third radiation esperience. How can such an episode become routine to so many kindred souls? Scares the h--l out of me just to think about it.
Heard yesterday that one of our fellow neighbors here in this apartment complex, who has been having radiation for her recent breast cancer, is in bad shape because of radiation burns over her chest. Very painful we hear.
Watch that they do not get too "Cavelier" with your poor, beleagered body. Please don't try to be too brave Leroy. This is evidently an Option offered to you, not a Given, proven, treatment. It will have side effects on you.
Glad to hear that you must be pretty nimble to be able to negotiate from walker to table, not to mention all that dressing and undressing! Yes, you are indeed amazing!

Sent by J C R | 9:18 AM ET | 03-27-2008

hi Leroy! First time poster, fellow cancer vagabond and blog follower. Just stopping in to wish you well. Yes! The cancer world is indeed a very odd world, but one thing we know is that "we" travelers are very resilient people! Where there is resilience, there is great hope! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Karen | 9:28 AM ET | 03-27-2008

As for the gowns, i think most hospitals and medical people want you as close to nude as possible, with some pretense at modesty solely for the patient's sake. i'm sure they view clothing as a nuisance that simply gets in the way of their being able to do their jobs. so in that sense, hospital gowns achieve everything medical people want and, obviously, they could care less about what we would prefer! i personally lost just about every last vestige of modesty i had left during the cancer ordeal. i became just as indifferent as the medical people as to how much of me was exposed or not. i suppose if i were a young, hot chick i might feel differently but, closing in on 60, it was easy to put my body in perspective!

Sent by carol irvin | 9:32 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Hi Leroy,

Just to add my 2 pennies... At my radiation center the gowns don't come
small enough. I had to wrap them around and around, leaving big gaping arm holes where I needed to be covered. It mattered, but not really. After all of the exposures I've had in Cancer World, it hardly matters anymore. I'm afraid some day my reflex reaction may just be to expose! :) I do agree, a wider range of gown sizes would help. A lot of people aren't sized in the middle. On the buzzy, can't be good for me note... I used to struggle to hold my breath and not move while the radiation hit me. It took me weeks to stop being terrified of doing so and causing damage somewhere else. By the time I calmed down, it was over. Has anyone ever died of asphyxiation under a linear accelerator? :) It's an adventure... although I was hoping more for the traveling kind of adventures.

I hope you are doing better. One foot in front of the other.... Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by Lilly T. | 9:37 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Your thoughts about "travelers on the same road" brought back many memories. It's been 30 years since I lived in that world, but I still remember the staff and their many acts of kindness to us. And you are so right. It is a social world that is the center of your life. You feel like a family. The cancer came out of remission and we started chemotherapy two months before our daughter was born. After she arrived, we would take her with us for the treatments, and it was like visiting friends. We got to know the other patients and it helped to be able to talk with people who really understood what we were experiencing. We were a part of that world for two years. About a month after my husband passed away, I just felt this incredible need to go back there. I took my daughter and I went to visit everyone for one last time. I just had to say good-bye. It wasn't my world any more.

Sent by Sandra Mann | 9:39 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Thanks for the laugh this morning. Its hard to find humor in Neils battle (he was a big guy too) but this morning, remembering him and his fight with those gowns made me chuckle. He always wanted us to find the one that had a different color and design! We started hiding them in his room! Thanks for the fond memory this morning! You hang in there! We continue to pray!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 9:45 AM ET | 03-27-2008

I did stay in touch with one woman I met in the waiting room - for about a year after our treatments were done but it kind of fizzled. But I became friends with one of the radiation technicians and we still get together and keep in touch and that was 2 years ago.

Thinking of you and caring about you.

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 9:48 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Just thought I would share some poignant humor. It is connected to the post about the passing of your mom and the book recommendation for Tear Soup. We have the book, I bought it after my Mom died from lukemia in September. Last evening I read my daughter a book titled Rabbit Stew. It is a delightful little book about a rather dumb dog who is outwitted by the pesky rabbits who continously nibble on the vegetables growing in his garden. He ends up making stew, but there are no rabbits in it - sorry to give away the ending. After I was finished, my daughter immediately brought me the book Tear Soup and announced that we had two books about making soup!I took a deep breath, and said "yes, indeed we do and now we know there are lots of different types of soup." Hmmm..life through the eyes of a child, teaching her adult mother how to see in new ways. Peace and blessings to all.

Sent by Holly | 9:52 AM ET | 03-27-2008

At the hospital where my husband goes to get his radiation, they have a large table in the waiting area where everyone works together putting together those crazy 1500+ piece puzzles! Patients, family and even the doctors and nurses all pitch in together in trying to solve the puzzle. It makes it much more interesting than sitting there reading some boring magazine while you are trying not to think of cancer. Next time you go for your treatment, see if they will allow puzzle therapy.....

Sent by Joan Beth Smith | 9:55 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy, I am a traveler in the other perspective. I am one of the staff who travels with... I have often said each patient is traveling on a road where I take the on ramp to. I travel alongside for a short period of time and then exit again. Your posts and those of the others allow me to have another perspective to my patients experiences and I am truly grateful. I have been a hospital chaplain for over 10 years, in oncology for over 6. OH, and I always offer another gown as a robe or a blanket. At times, patients are too ill to notice. I do wonder why the hospital doesn't have XL & LONG gowns as they do have XL beds?! I like the suggestion that you have a funny face on the potentially exposed "part". To honor their family member who was in fashion school, a family is looking into this and also different designs that could be chosen. I hope they are successful!

Sent by Chaplain Sharon | 10:04 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Hi Leroy,
For most procedures, I just make sure I have no metal in my clothes (sweat pants, etc.), and they let me wear my clothes instead of the wonderful gowns. I don't know if this would work with spinal radiation, but it's worth asking about. Praying for you-

Sent by Sherri Beadles | 10:05 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy, We're all part of the human soup of the cancer world. Funny, how attached we become to each other in so short a time. I find it interesting how adaptable most human beings really are.

All the best with your treatments! You're making the best choices you can given the information you have. I have no doubt that those choices, your medical team, your fighting spirit, and support from your family and friends are why you are still with us today.

Sent by Marilyn | 10:08 AM ET | 03-27-2008

People who have radiation for seven weeks, as I did, really get to know the radiation staff. I had a lot of fun with them, and I always had my crossword puzzle from the Times along (good for passing time in waiting rooms) and they would gather around each day to see if they could help me where I was stuck. (Current music and sports really stumped me. ) Such nice kids (they were all young) and I appreciated their kindness. I brought treats at the end, and I really missed them afterwards. It's true that your journey with cancer does enable you to meet many amazing people along the way. It's one silver lining to the entire experience.

Sent by Wendy | 10:17 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy - your last comment, about knowing the staff and a few treatment families so well for a short time... then you'll likely never see them again... in a strange way, that's exactly the way it was when you were in the field, working news. Maybe it's all a big circle and we end where we began.

Sent by Holly Sweet | 10:54 AM ET | 03-27-2008

I recently completed 13 days of radiation recently. As with you, there was that small group of passing friends in the waiting area each morning. Each of us being at a different point in our journeys with our respective cancer types. Interestingly, we found many other topics to chat about as we waited to hear our names called. I believe we drew strength from each other. As you say, we may never see each other again as we go our separate ways. But our time together made the radiation routine much more bearable.

Thanks for putting you usual spin on this topic. Continue to hang in there, Leroy!

Sent by J S M | 10:58 AM ET | 03-27-2008

What's with the ties in the back? I spent a lot of time in the hospital and at various "gown required" appointments and I never learned how to tie one of them shut. So now you have a gown that doesn't fit and that I can't tie shut. Nothing more visually appealing than a guy 6'-2" who weighs 150 pounds with grey skin, no hair and his scrawny butt hanging out in the wind. Apparently dignity is optional. A sense of humor is mandatory.

Hey McFly, you ever heard of Velcro? They just invented it...40 years ago.

Sent by Dave U. | 11:08 AM ET | 03-27-2008

First time poster. Have read the column for a long time. I'm starting to get angry at the powers that be on your behalf, Leroy. I'm angry too that it's not getting any easier.

Sent by Jess | 11:27 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy,
The April edition of Guideposts has an article about sisters who redesigned the hospital gown. I have included the link to the picture of the garment. Our classmate, Rick Hamlin, has worked at Guideposts for a long, long time.
http://www.guidepostsmag.com/health/health-archive/?i=1607
You and Laurie are in my prayers.
Kathy (Minard) Van Orden

Sent by Kathy Van Orden | 11:53 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Yes, we humans are all travelers on the same road, cancer or not.Just a short layover on this green earth, ETD not yet certain but it won't be long.Better make the most of it before our flight is called. That's what cancer taught me.

Sent by Doris | 11:54 AM ET | 03-27-2008

You say the exact same thing that a friend told me once; the "cancer world" is open to anyone from any walk of life, ethnicity, color, anything - and everyone has the same thing in common and friends are made and bonded with in no time. Please do take care; I know that this has been a tough week for you and thank G-d, you have Lauri and she has you! G-d bless you. Jan

Sent by JANICE GOLDBERG WHITE | 11:56 AM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy
Where I was treated we always went with the two gown method. I must say I am jealous as I had to have seven weeks of treatment, and still have attacks of fatigue. When I finished my team gave me a certificate of merit and appreciation. What a nice touch!

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 12:02 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy,

thanks for the smile today. It is a very hard day, the wait and final watch is on for my dad. He told me he is ready...

Sent by Sue Chap | 1:10 PM ET | 03-27-2008

I say go naked! That'll get them redesigning the gowns pretty quick....or not:)

Sent by Sue in Rochester | 1:11 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy, that was too funny. Extra Large gowns in the hospital. Here I am asking them do they NOT have something smaller. I am going in for another procedure tomorrow and I told my surgeon that I will be bringing my own nightie. Yes, we are all on the same road, but just different paths...right down to the hospital gowns we share!
Prayers, Blessings and May The Grace Of God Be With You.
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 1:24 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy,

There is a common bond we share in this cancer world, an understanding of living fully and experiencing totally. It can be found in the awe of every moment whether it be watching deer out the window in the solace of our homes or connecting momentarily with another person walking the same path in the waiting room. We discover the commonality in the dislike for cold tables and flimsy gowns, in our admiration for heroic doctors and compassionate nurses, and in our quest for more time and a potential cure. I think that by sharing our different routes, as you do every day, we are given an outlet for finding new directions. Sometimes these directions lead us to a new treatment or procedure and sometimes they provide hope and a smile that the day might have otherwise not had. Thank heavens we are able to travel this path together.

Sent by Suzanne Lindley | 2:15 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Hang tight, Sue Chap, things will be better for your father and it seems he knows it now. God bless all of this road and enable us to manuever the many pot holes. Leroy certainly has managed to find too many but he is leaving a trail of humor and wit for each of the many travelers behind him.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 2:31 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Sue Chap: Be strong. Will be thinking of you.

Sent by Liz L. | 2:31 PM ET | 03-27-2008

It's funny, as I sit here now I find that I can't remember what I wore for my breast cancer radiation 2 years ago. I know I didn't have to take my pants or skirt off, but for the life of me I can't remember if I had to put a hospital gown on, or if I just took my shirt off and got on the table. You think I'd remember the details of something I did every day for six weeks, but I guess I must want to forget it all more than I realized.

Sue, I'm sending strength and love your way.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 2:39 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy,
Just to let you know there are XL gowns out there. I am a large woman and when I went for my inpatient chemo, my hospital (St. John's in Santa Monica, CA) always gave me a XL gown.

Sent by Diane Vandenberg | 2:56 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy,

"We're all travelers on the same road. We just have different routes and schedules."

That says it all.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 3:08 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Hi Leroy, I'm late in offering condolences on the loss of your mother and wanted to say how much I appreciated your little story about how she would let you put out fires in the driveway. That was just a great little "slice of life" to read, and I think your mother was perceptive and supportive of your youthful ambitions and also probably had a dash of whimsy...made me thing of some little things my mom did with fireworks on the sidewalk..or I should say she would let us do while she stood on the porch and watched. Those were during the "safe and sane" days. Sigh. Now about today's post, thanks for your humor about the hospital gowns and wardrobe malfunctions :) also your observation of the strangers who become friends in passing. That is so true of hospitals and treatment centers...all are sojourners. May your day be blessed. Sally in Spokane

Sent by Sally in Spokane | 4:01 PM ET | 03-27-2008

We feel for you, Sue.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:23 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy,
Just a comment about the gowns... when I had radiation three years ago one of the techs told me they paid $14 each for the regular gowns to be professionally laundried and $22 for the large ones. How crazy is that? Why don't they just issue you a gown when you start treatments? As I recall the radiation room was kind of like a meat locker so it's not like you are doing any big sweating and the treatment only takes a few minutes. Oh well.... just a thought.

Sent by Janie | 4:25 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Hi Leroy,
I had my last radiation session one year ago tomorrow. I've been thinking of dropping the hospital to show them that I'm still here. I also got to know the staff very well. In a strange way, I don't want them to vanish from my life. They were my first treatment team ... my first exposure to compassion that I didn't existed in the world. While having my radiation, I could also feel it. Exactly as you described. They told me it was impossible. Maybe we're just superior beings?

Sent by Shaun | 4:41 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy, yes those hospital gowns are mean to cover anything. My extra-large dad got one that did not cover near enough. By the time he got out of the hospital, he had the two gown routine down pat.

I was pleasantly surprised to see excellent gowns at the mammography clinic this year. The overlapped in the front and all of us "guests" were commenting on how much better they were.

If they send you a survey about the hospital, make sure you rank the gowns really, really low... :)

Thinking of you and Laurie,

Sent by Marie | 9:44 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Only a few more days of radiation Leroy. You are hanging tough and we are proud of you.

Sent by Jennifer in CA | 10:49 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Thanks for the laugh, Leroy.
I always remember my pelvic radiation:
off go the bottoms, in go the legs into those funny holders, heavy door closes, all alone, count count count, listen to the machine move below to get the stomach and again for the side. Back come the technicians. Sometimes an x-ray or three.Get dressed. Try to make a little joke with the technicians.
I got used to it.
THEN, one day I thought my husband would like to see the big machine and meet my new pals. They loved him and enjoyed his questions about stuff. They all left, the machine did its thing and I left.

I asked him what he did when I was getting zapped. I figured he and the technicians talked about March Madness or something.

He said, "I watched it on the TV."
"What?"
"Yeah, that monitor in the hallway."
"My bare ass?"
"Yeah, what did you think, they just left you in there alone and had a cup of coffee and forgot about you for five minutes?"

I had never thought about it. I just concentrated on Getting Through The Radiation. I had seen that monitor every day. I never figured I was on the screen. I started laughing and could hardly stop myself. I have never been a modest person and I am glad I am not.

I wish I had written something on my backside that day.

Keep strong. I think of you every day.

Sent by Robin Smith | 11:04 PM ET | 03-27-2008

Leroy, et al. - I have to wonder with all your experiences with gowns that are too small, too big, too short, won't close, etc., how do the medical personnel keep a straight face watching all of you try to manage? It must take every ounce of self control they can muster!

Sent by Linnea | 4:51 AM ET | 03-28-2008

Sue Chap, peace to you and your family.

Sent by Jeanne | 8:53 AM ET | 03-28-2008

You take a date to the prom, she wears a gown.

You're Cinderella, a prince invites you to a fancy ball, you wear a gown.

The Queen? Closets FULL of gowns.

So, you go to a hospital, and they hand you a piece of cloth that eliminates 3/4 of your personal dignity,

and they call it a GOWN!?

When I was a nurse's assistant, that was the number one complaint among the patients, and the only thing I could think of to say that was off the script was, "well, we can't clearly see our own hind-erlands without mirrors, so I guess it all evens out in the end, er, on average."

So, instead of "hang in there," maybe it's "let-it-all-hang out?"

Sent by John from Wantagh | 11:15 AM ET | 03-28-2008

Hi Leroy and Laurie,
Just had a brainstorm! Why don't they got those Project Runway designers to come up with a design for gowns for us? Functional (including covering us up) and cool!! Hey, they did dog coats and new uniforms for the postal workers.

Seriously, I know how awful those gowns are and how crummy it can feel to be "hanging out..." in one of them. Try to hang in there; this too will pass!

Peace to both of you, and try to have a decent weekend.

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 3:15 PM ET | 03-28-2008

I felt so much more "a piece of meat" with radiation than with chemo, where clinical staff buzzed in and out, chatting freely. With radiation (I probably should have had molds to immobilize this hyperactive,arthritic body)comments were limited to "be still"with no apparent acknolwlegement of patient modesty, physical discomfort, being cold etc. I shared your enjoyment of our fellow travelers in the waiting room. Best of luck to you.Keep up the good work

Sent by Pat Fuller | 3:18 PM ET | 03-28-2008

Gowns...I could have housed a medium sized family in mine. It mattered not though as the treatment was the main thing and, after getting to "know" the staff it became another source of much needed humor. As for the staff - well, my husband and I will attend the wedding of one of my caregivers in May. I was somewhat surprised to receive the invitation but I suppose I shouldn't have been. We've been exchanging e-mails and have gone out to dinner and drinks a few times. I guess you could say we just hit it off. She is an amazing person with a passion for what she does. She always made sure I had some great music to listen to whilst being nuked and she never made me feel like "just another body". I learned that it was people like her that made the whole thing tolerable. I'm getting ready for all of my follow-up appointments. Blood, mammography, etc. , etc. It always makes me nervous but then again - I get to catch up with some very special people.

Sent by Jean valentine | 6:12 AM ET | 03-31-2008

I'm late in commenting on your hospital gowns. My husband is a large man, and they have learned to give you two gowns, one for the front and one for the back. That seems to work well, as long as they don't have to tamper with him while he's on the table. Would that work for you?

Sent by Juanita Helms | 2:35 AM ET | 04-01-2008