My cancer reminds me that no one is permanent and I will not be the exception to this. Also, my cancer has taught me that life and health is process not a final destination.

Sent by Molly | 7:44 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My husband's cancer revealed to me how much I loved him and how much he loved me.

Sent by Marilyn | 7:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me more compassionate and more appreciative of the time I have left. I realize now that I am not invincible and neither is anyone else. While in some things I might be more careful, overall I'm more willing to just 'go for it.' You never know if this is your last chance to do something.

Sent by Margaret | 7:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

This is heavy stuff Leroy... I don't have cancer, my sister does. Can I have poetic license and change your starting point just a little?

My sister's cancer changed her life: the diagnosis was her ticket to learned helplessness. Her mind set is, "If I can't or don't do it, someone else will."

Believe me when I say, this is incredibly hard to respond to. There is a wealth of emotions just bubbling out and over.

Until tomorrow...

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:53 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has helped me realize what is truly important. Right after my diagnosis I knew work was still important. Spending time with family and friends was my number one priority. It has given me the chance to tell those I care about how I feel and in return they have truly showed me their feelings. It may have showed others have strong I am but it has taught me to trust my instincts as they have served me well so far. I'm sure others have had more profound experiences but these are all pretty amazing to me. I don't know if I would trade these "gains" for a longer life without cancer but they are pretty good cancellation prizes. Peace

Sent by Dona | 7:53 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer makes me try harder.

Sent by Sandra Locus | 7:54 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer pisses me off.

Sent by jennifer | 8:01 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me realize that I must make the most of every day and to be so grateful when I am with my family and friends. I try not to think about the "end" but about the "here and now."

Sent by Barbara Hirsch | 8:12 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me stop taking myself so seriously. I realized that all the things I worried about and fussed over, nobody would remember when I was gone. I realized my only responsibility in this world was to "be" and to do everything with kindess and love. After that everything is crap.

Sent by Lori | 8:15 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer cancer introduced me to a whole new world, where complete strangers truly care for each other.

Sent by Shaun | 8:15 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Leroy, with your permission, I am going to change the start of the sentence to:
My dad's cancer...

My dad's cancer changed his life in ways I can't even put into words, but one thing is for sure it made him strong and proved to him that he could do much more than he thought he could. He learned to be a fighter in life, a strong one.

My dad's cancer allowed me to understand how PRECIOUS life is. Not that I didn't know prior to my dad being sick, but the fact that once you find out a loved one is sick with this beast, life is no longer the same and the meaning means that much more! Every minute, every second is much more valuable and cherished. Now that my dad is in heaven, his cancer still continues to teach me things. It allows me to be strong and fight through his absence. I saw my dad fight so hard and so long, that now when I am faced with challenges I know that I CAN DO IT...if he did it... I CAN TOO!

Stay strong Leroy and so will we :)

Sent by Cristina Gonzalez, Tampa, FL | 8:16 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Great Morning Leroy! You asked for it, so here goes ~ My Cancer stopped the life I was living in it's tracks. Caused me, like yourself, to try to calculate how much time I had left and how I wanted to spend it. I remember, sitting on the edge of the doctor's table, holding my poor, left breast protectively in my hand, and asking how much time I had left because I WOULD NOT allow him to remove it! "Oh NO, "I said"I will go out of this world in ONE piece thank you". He softly smiled and said, "I can't tell you that but I can tell you what is going to happen to you if you do not let me remove it. You are not going to die of breast cancer in that breast, but --".
Then he proceded to tell me what would happen to my breast, what it would look like soon and what the cancer would do to it. He went on to tell me all about how it would spread through my system and where it MIGHT decide to attack and what it could do to me. How long? No, he could not tell me that but he had plenty to say. When he finished, I had already made up my mind to let him operate and "kill the beast" that was eating up my breast and eyeing up the rest of me! Yes, it changed our lives and our way of living and looking at life ever since. I met one of the most wonderful friends in the hospital, talked with her and thought hard about my life and how I wanted to end it IF this "thing" got me. I KNEW that my life would have to be lived differently!
Today, thinking back over the years since, I am almost grateful to this disease for helping me appreciate life, my husband and marriage. I still know that the "beast" is lurking near all the time. I have had various outbreaks, like skin cancers removed, and now face the ravages of old age and a partially blinding stroke, but I am Very grateful for each and every day (still with my husband), and we do our best to find something worthwhile each day.
Oh Leroy, I could go on and on. You have opened Pandors's Box with that question to us I'm afraid. You will have such interesting answers. AND maybe one of the "perks" is that we now all know YOU!

Sent by J C R | 8:16 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me who my true friends really are by how people treat you when they hear the word, how to really live for the ones you love, how to fight to live, which I have never had to do before, my cancer has taught me how beautiful a flower, a sunrise, a beach, a smile from my grandchildren, and how much my husband really loves me to go through this with me. Yes it has taught me a lot but why do I have to learn this from a disease that hurts?

Sent by Kathy Simmons | 8:17 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me valuable lessons about living, loving, and dealing with things, all of which I would have been happy to have learned from a book instead.

Sent by Lucie Germer | 8:19 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My husbands cancer has taught both of us that we can adapt. The initial diagnosis is devastating but you adapt and deal with it. Every crisis makes us adapt to something different and appreciate even the smallest things. This time last week my husband was facing the possibility of never coming off a ventilator. Yesterday he was taken off and is doing fine. Yes, he probably always be on oxygen but that we can handle...adapt.

Sent by kathie | 8:19 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer was a great teacher. It taught me gratitude, hope and that not everything is within my control. It is easy to forget those lessons six cancer-free years later, but having participated in Race for the Cure two weeks ago, the memories of what I learned came back as strongly as ever.

Sent by Robin T | 8:23 AM ET | 04-29-2008

my cancer makes me spend money i don't have and allows me to not feel that guilty about it.

Sent by meg kissinger | 8:23 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer......taught me with crystal clarity what is and what is not important in my life! It caused me to work harder at my life, and less at my job. Spending time with those I love, never letting an opportunity to express my love or thoughts pass, to enjoy nature, wine, good books and meals even more!
To look at all of this as a journey, and know that I will face whatever comes, twists and turns in the road, good/bad health, and all with those I love beside me.
My cancer has taught me to breath, and just be......in this very moment and soak it all up!
Thanks for asking.....we're all in this together!

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 8:25 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer today is only a small part of my identity. It brings me close to others who have lived in cancer world. I shake it until I get my blessing. I don't want it to be who I am. I am more than my cancer.

Sent by Ann | 8:26 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My dad's cancer still affects every aspect of my life: how I live, how I raise my children and my relationships with my husband and loved ones. 15-years after his death, my dad's cancer lives with us, still.

Sent by Tammy Pearce | 8:29 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me to recognize parts of myself that I had denied. I was vain. I took gifts in my life for granted. I honored others more than I honored myself. Now my body is scarred and I've had to learn to see myself in the mirror and accept the changes without self-hatred. I was always there for others. Sickness, fear, sadness, dying - none of those things turned me away. When I needed support I had to accept that others could not give as I had - but along with that I learned that I was far stronger than I gave myself credit for. I've learned that being compassionate, gentle, caring, and kind shouldn't be something that I only give to others, but something that I need to give myself, too. I am more than cancer; cancer should be allowed to be only a small part of me. The body may be pretty dinged up, but the inside is more beautiful than ever.

Sent by Gete | 8:30 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer grounded me in reality;made me more empathetic and compassionate for the suffering of others;made me focus on my life, those in my life and my soul;made me truly interested in helping others who are newly diagnosed;enabled me to know how much I am loved by family and friends and in turn express my love for them;transformed me not only physically but emotionally and spiritually;returned me to my spiritual roots and re-affirmed my faith.

For all of the pain and suffering that comes with cancer, it also enabled me to know that I am also truly blessed.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:35 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Dear friend:
My cancer taught me I was stronger than I ever knew.
I would like to dedicate this poem from a Hallmark card to you Leroy:
A mighty wind blew night and day. It stole the oak tree's leaves away. Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark until the oak was tired and stark. But still the oak tree held its ground while other trees fell all around.......
The weary wind gave up and spoke "How can you still be standing, Oak?" The oak tree said, "I know that you can break each branch of mine in two, carry every leaf away, shake my limbs, and make me sway. But I have roots stretched in the earth, growing stronger since my birth. You'll never touch them, for you see, they are the deepest part of me. Until today, I wasn't sure of just how much I could endure. But now I've found, with thanks to you, I'm stronger than I ever knew."

Sent by Harriet | 8:36 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer reinforced for me what is truly important in life- God, family, friends- pretty much in that order. And conversely, that I could safely put aside, career, status,things, St. Paul called it 'rubbish'. What I still need to learn is to trust more. Tough to do on a scan day which is tomoorrow for me.Peace on us all!

Sent by Kathleen | 8:42 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me take a new look at my life, my family and friends, the sunshine, a snowfall, a flower in my garden. It enabled me to meet some wonderful people in the medical profession, and to appreciate all they do, day after day, to help others. It reminded me that we all, every one of us, will die, and that I need to spend my finite time here making the world a better place for others. It made me reevaluate everything. Cancer was in many ways a gift.

Thank you for asking this profound question Leroy.

Sent by Wendy | 8:43 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer reminded me that you cannot escape or outrun the grim reaper

Sent by Joe | 8:43 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My husband's cancer caused me to lose my body weeight in tears. After he died I did it all over again.

Sent by Irene | 8:44 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer, has given me FREEDOM, I never had. I don't worry. I don't fret. I am free. I faced the beast. Lived and live with it.
My shoulders are broader than I ever thought, and I can handle anything.
The Beast may be lurking, but he is wasting his time. I no longer worry I am
"going" to get it! I "got" it. It didn't break me, and it won't. It may move me on to the great beyond, but I am supposed to leave this place at some time anyway.
Prayers, Blessings and May The Grace Of God Be With You.
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:46 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer finally made me give up, at 58, the illusion that I was still just a kid in a grown-up body. But I've worked hard to regain the feeling and find myself looking at children with more joy.

Sent by Jimmy Schreiber | 8:50 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is my prison. It is holdong me against my will and I don't know if I will be let out early for good behavior. Actually, it will let me out for good behavior, but I just don't trust that yet. Although I am technically cancer free, I worry almost every day that the cancer will return. Every ache and pain, is that cancer? My husband recently was complaining of some unusual discomfort and we both thought cancer. We are sharing the same cell. I've hidden my past illness from some friends to "protect" them. I don't want them to join me in this cancer prison where everyone worries about me and the possibility of themselves gettting cancer. But I do realize that that reasoning is a self imposed part of my sentence. I know that exposing this ugly beast to the light of day will help release it from me, but I am not yet willing to take that next step. Hopefully some day taking about my cancer won't be so scary.
I refuse to associate any positive life lessons with my cancer. I cannot give any credit to the disease. All of the things that I have learned I believe are just lessons of life. To realize that everyone in your life has a lesson to teach you, that regardless of what type of illness you have or don't have we are all striving to find some sense of normal, that asking for help may be difficult but not the end of the world, and that everyday we are alive is truly a gift.

Sent by jen barad | 8:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My mom's cancer brought me closer to life. I don't have it my body physically but I have it in my heart. It has made me a better person, don't take life for granted. My mom's cancer made me appreciate the small things, turkey dressing, a laugh, a voice, painted toes and most of all the comfort of just being with those you love. No words need to be said, just being.

Sent by Gina B | 8:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer validated what wonderful love and support I have all around me, to not take things so seriously, to realize how blessed I am.

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:54 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My patient's, family's and friend's cancer has taught me how to be more compassonate and to understand that this enemy(CA)is out to get us and doesn't discriminate. I've learned to fear it, because it is so insidious. I learned that I will never know what anything is really like until I face it for myself, be it childbirth or arthritis, therefore I don't want to fully understand cancer. I want to walk beside you, not with you. I hope that doesn't sound cruel. But I will, and do, cry with you.

Sent by Susan | 8:56 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My Marina's cancer has taught me that life is worth living. Leroy you have taught me of the dignity of fighting for life. Your blog and your shared thoughts inspired my wife as she walked through the valley of the shadow of death. When she thought there was no hope, because of a failed chemo therapy, another opportunity or drug would unveil itself to give a renewed hope. Cancer allowed my wife Marina and I to grow closer than ever before. After 34 years it's hard to believe a couple could actually get closer yet. You know what I speak of Leroy. I envision you and your Lady having your quiet times together. Just the two of you. Stay close and hang on to each other for dear life Buddy.
Open your heart to her and hold nothing back.
Cancer has taught me to have gratitude for what the Lord has made out of lump of clay.
Cancer had taught me to be the best caregiver I could be to the glory of God. And thats good.

Have a great day Leroy, I pray you find what you are looking for in todays blog sharing

Sent by Donato Salazar | 8:57 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is not foreign. It is my own cells going against their nature. So each person's cell imperfections must be uniquely their own. My body didn't accommodate the cancer or collude to deceive my awareness of it. In truth my body seeks only to make the best of things. It sets a fine example for my mind which hopes for grace, comfort and a more immune system vulnerable cancer cell mutation.

Hold Fast

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 8:57 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me look at life differently. Things that used to upset me are less important now. I try to see my children as often as possible because it gives me great joy. My husband and I laugh together and enjoy each other more.

Sent by Linda | 9:00 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me slow down, stop working so much, and cease obsessing about trivial matters. On my best days, it has given me greater clarity and peace of mind.

Sent by Kristy | 9:08 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me realize that I was indeed stronger than I ever thought I would or could be and that "things" do happen. The most important thing that my cancer has taught me is that everything will be alright - regardless of what happens, everything WILL be alright.

Sent by Amy | 9:08 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me feel lonely for the first time in my life.

Sent by tex | 9:10 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Leroy,
I do not have cancer but lost my mother in law and father in law to cancer. So, to that effect:
-My mother-in-law's cancer taught me strength, and humbled me.
-My father-in-law's cancer made me sad. He didn't tell any of us about it until he only had a few days left to live. He chose to be alone for the duration of his cancer.
I don't think you're missing any poiint, Leroy. I think you are actually doing so much good by having this blog. Your cancer is helping others cope. In turn, I hope we can all help you.

Sent by Kathleen, NJ | 9:10 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My husband's cancer taught me that nothing else matters except love

Sent by Lisa | 9:11 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My Cancer helped change the direction of my life. Time became precious and relationships even more important. It allowed me the time to be introspective about how I lived my life, the people I affect and those who inspire me. Even though I am in remission, it still lurks at times at how short life is and how to make the best of the time we have. I know that I spend every day loving my wife and children that much more so if I ever leave them - they have a full bank account of love from me. My cancer has taught me to LIVEStrong and take on fears and anxieties that I would not have previously. My cancer does not define me, it only challenges me to better every day.

Last - each one of us with cancer helps inspire someone else to find a cure. Each article we share, each defeat we suffer, and each vistory we celebrate inspires someone to get up every morning and find a cure. Keep writing, keep sharing, keep fighting. The louder we all live, more results we will all see.

Hang in there Leroy - Your Cancer has helped more people deal with theirs than you can imagine.

Sent by Glenn Gleason | 9:12 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me so aware

Sent by Diana Santamaria | 9:12 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Cancer has made me a better person to myself. I pay more attention to my intuition & inner voice. I enjoy more quiet time & simpler things. I never thought of myself as 'strong' but after battling cancer, I know I have the confindence & determination to do what I want rather than what the 'masses' are doing. I now know success is happiness.

Sent by Jeanette | 9:14 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me that every day on this side of the grass is a Good Day!

Sent by John | 9:15 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me the power of others prayers for me. It also taught me humility. My cancer appears to be gone, but MS has taken its place. Another battle to fight.

Sent by joane | 9:20 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is part of who I am. Not a part I would have welcomed, but part of me none the less. And like most other experiences in life cancer has both good and bad sides. My cancer has made me passionate about helping other survivors. It has introduced me to the world of yoga and meditation. It has cost me relationships, but made me new friends. It has left me with joint pain but also with more wisdom. It has taught me to be more compassionate. It has taken away my ability to sleep, to have children, to do the things I used to do without pain. But it has given me the strength, & the courage to meet life head on. I've learned to ski, become a godmother, gotten a new job, hiked the grand canyone, made new friends...all after having cancer...twice! I would never ask for cancer to be part of my life, but I will continue everyday to make room for it. What choice do I have?

Sent by beth | 9:24 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has brought great sadness and stress for my family.

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 9:25 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancers have taught me humility, to look for happiness in simpler things and to accept that they are sufficient.

Sent by david hasan | 9:27 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer sucked me up in a slashing, burning, poisoning tornado, then set me down in a new place, headed in different direction. I'm a better person since cancer, and in whatever time I have left, I'll add more to the world.

Sent by PJ Hamel | 9:28 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer (renal-cell carcinoma) has shown me what the real difference is between "wheat" & "chaff" in my life. It's a lot easier to deal with life's little irritations now...I'm grateful to be alive, and those irritants don't really get to me any more. Every day I get to be here with my family, friends, and colleagues is a gift.

Sent by Mike Armstrong | 9:29 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has been a "life sentence". A poster I found not long after my diagnosis and treatment says it all: "Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life."

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 9:32 AM ET | 04-29-2008

my father's cancer taught us both that God is gracious and we must trust wholly in Him, even when each day seems worse than the next. 2 Cor. 5:1 says "we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands...we must live by faith and not by sight."

Sent by shawn | 9:34 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My father's cancer, and my sister's cancer, taught me that life can change in an instant. They taught me not to take anything for granted. Do what you want to do NOW! I lost them both within three years. It taught me that we have the "illusion" of control. It's something I wrestle with everyday. I'm determined to do what I can to help find a cure for this disease, not just treatment...not just for them, but for all of us.

Sent by Donna R. in NJ | 9:34 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer showed me how much my husband really loves me and that his love truly is unconditional.

Sent by Nancy Kelly | 9:34 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My dad's cancer may have taken him from me, but he still gives me advice on my kids, my life, what's important -- it lives on in my heart and in how I live my life. That's something cancer can NEVER take away.

Sent by Tammy Reasoner, Cincinnati, OH | 9:35 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is a journey between me and the unknown universal force, or God, as it forces me to search for the knowing and the reason for this final walk of suffering.

Sent by christine | 9:36 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My husband's cancer made me realize how little control we have over anything and everything. I have learned to "let myself float on the safe waters, loving life as it comes, with all the rough weather it may bring." My mantra from Brother Roger who founded the Taize community in France and was murdered by a deranged woman about two years ago.

Sent by Barbara Gobrail | 9:37 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer....
HI Leroy,
I have been following your diary for about 8 mos. I look forward to your updates everyday because I need to know how you are doing each day. Everytime I read your diary I send you a prayer for comfort. So many people are wishing you the best.
My cancer hit me unexpectedly like a brick from behind 5 years ago. I was so shocked. I have always been healthy, active, no smoking, diet of minmal meat, no cancers in the family etc..
I breast fed my babies..it wasn't suppose to happen to a person like me!
I was 44 and recently separated when I found the bluberry size lump in my breast. Quickly I was seen, evaluated, lumpectomy and then mastectomy, medicines, ongoing testing etc.. I have been lucky so far, it was early and has been responsive to hormone therapy. For a long time I protected myself by telling everyone that I had " a little bit of cancer".
Now I have admitted to myself that it will be a chronic disease for me. If "it", my cancer, follows the rules and I play the game as directed by my doctors,then I can pretty much prevent or delay recurrence.
Cancer has reminded me to review the "flowers in my garden of life" daily, hourly. The pleasures of health, family, satisfying work. It has forced me to look outside my own garden and into others lives with a closer more intimate interest that I generally avoided before I got " a little bit of cancer".
It has brought depth to my life and I think of it as a stunning, bewildering weed in my garden. I have had to work hard and with envy at how others did not need to destroy beloved parts of their garden as I did in trying to get rid of that damn weed. I love and will take care of my garden tenderly and with cruel fierceness. I hope my cancer pays attention and follows the rules, because I will keep weeding that garden until I die.
That's MY Cancer......

Sent by Cindy | 9:39 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has enabled me to know both the fragility and the hopes of life, and with this knowledge to live most fully.
With hope,
Wendy www.wendyharpham.com

Sent by Wendy S. Harpham, MD | 9:48 AM ET | 04-29-2008

As a teacher, my cancer has taught me to teach those around me to go for their dreams when they can, while they are young.

Sent by Tammy | 9:49 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Completely agree with Marilyn's 7:52 post. Unfortunately, I have to add that my husband's cancer killed him on April 11, 2008 at 5:20 p.m.

Sent by Teri | 9:50 AM ET | 04-29-2008

"My Cancer" ---- Has nurtured and enhanced my personality while refocusing the importance of my life's journey and it's accomplishements. Most importantly "My Cancer" has brought out the talents, skills, devotion and strong faith for those that care for me. That is my reward, watching from my "cancer" vantage point as others improve their life's journey.

Sent by John Allen | 9:51 AM ET | 04-29-2008

First of all I was really moved by all of the comments posted, beautiful! My Cancer has allowed me to learn some things about myself, to learn I am stronger than I thought I was. I have had depression for most of my life and I have always felt ashamed for it, like i'm not trying hard enough. I didn't belong to any groups and felt like a square peg with all circle holes surrounding me. Now with Cancer...I finally fit into a group with amazing survivors who I am so grateful to have met. I feel like I belong somewhere. Sounds morbid and strange but true. I learned to say what I feel and not waste any time that I don't want to waste doing things out of obligation. Its been a tough road and i'm still on it, but I know i'm a better person in some ways having gone through the treatment and still learning more and more every day. I still hate Cancer and get very down about it, but on the other hand I have grown as a person through it all. Thanks for your question Leroy!

Sent by Jenn | 9:51 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me feel that my body betrayed me. It unbalanced my hold. But then I looked around and took some pieces of balance from everyone else.
Now we'll try to balance each other.

Sent by Lisa | 9:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My son's cancer has taught me to turn to God for everything. He is the One in control of our lives, not us.

My son's cancer has also helped me to understand what others go through to some degree with cancer. Hopefully I have learned to reach out to others in need.

My son's cancer has taught me that you never know if you will have a tomorrow so you better enjoy today.

Sadly, my son's cancer has left a huge hole in my heart that will never be replaced. To think about what he endured and that he is gone is almost to much to bare. To say I miss him would be an understatement. I just look forward to the day I can see him again in Heaven.

God bless you Leroy.

(Ok, now I am at work and all choked up. Thanks buddy :o)

Take care.

Judy

Sent by Judy | 9:53 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer will not define me or become the be and end all of my life. What is has done is make me stop and be aware that I am not the center of the Universe, and that I must be attuned to others, their ideas and needs. My cancer was caught very early, and that has taught me how very fortunate I am, and to value that good fortune and each new day of my life. My cancer may or may not come back, but if it does, like you, I will battle it. My cancer has made me want to live the rest of my life fully for my own benefit, and for that of all those others in my life.

Sent by Kate | 9:55 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me face up to the many things that were wrong with my life, and fix them.

Sent by Patti | 10:02 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer brought me face to face with death.
And that made me realize how important the gift of eternal life really is, and how glad I am I have it through my relationship with Jesus Christ.
No outcome is bad now - if I live, that's great, and I'm embracing life.
If I die, I go to heaven, a place of eternal rest and peace. And that's a rather wonderful "backup".

Sent by David Hahn | 10:03 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Your cancer, your willingness to share very personal thoughts, intimate experiences, goals, has caused me to look more carefully at how I spend the time I have been given, how I treat the people I have the good fortune to meet, and to identify wasted time, energy, hurtful stuff... Your cancer has been a gift to me and others to be more aware, more loving, and more conscious, simply To Be More. Thank you for continuing your writing and our lessons... wishing you comfort and joy.

Sent by Stitches | 10:04 AM ET | 04-29-2008

..has taught me valuable lessons of patience, advocacy, sadness, and joy jsut like parents I work with on the pediatric intensive care unit. I am able to engage in a much more meaningful way such as finishing a thought when a parent is struggling with their childs newly diagnosed illness. I don't share my own experience but use it every day. All that being said I would have rather taken a class or read a book about grief, trauma, illness and how impacts the family system. But I got a gift and I'll use it.

Sent by Lisa | 10:04 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me that I'm vulnerable...I'm not special and may not be spared life's difficulties. It has taught me to go with the flow and live in the moment. It has taught me that there are so many loving people in the world--sometimes where you least expect it. I realized how insensitive I had been in the past when I heard of someone with cancer (they must have a toxic personality!). I am more compassionate. My love for my husband and caregiver is deeper and richer than before cancer. I thank the universe everyday for the miracle of life, for the joy of making it this far. I set my intention to live a long life with my husband and son, but know there are no guarantees. Work is not my life. Resentments are gone. Cancer has freed me in many ways.

Sent by Susan | 10:05 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My mom's cancer took her life and took from me the first person who ever loved me and who loved me unconditionally from even before my first breath and until her last. Her death taught me the power of a mother's love and as I look at my young kids I am awed by that and will do my best to love by her example.

Sent by JoAnn | 10:06 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me question what is the meaning of life.

Sent by Jill Curtis | 10:09 AM ET | 04-29-2008

I agree. I don't want to give my cancers any sort of positive attributes. Nine years ago I was dx with melanoma. Last year I was dx with breast(right breast removed along with lymph nodes) and lung cancer. The lung cancer is primary not metastasized from the breast. I'm pretty much the same person I was before being dx. I just don't understand people who say they're "a much better person for having cancer." Like they're grateful. As for myself, I've always been a nice person and continue to be so. I have always enjoyed my family and continue to do so. l have always been active in small ways in my community and continue that as well. I'm not a religious person but have always been a spiritual one. So on all that matters to me, I am that person. The only attribute I will concede to the cancers is that they can put an end to the person I am. That's what I would call a hugh negative nothing positive there.

Sent by cathy itri | 10:10 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My sister's cancer gave her the freedom to live "outside the box" for the first time in her life. She attended concerts (with me in tow) and after every event, she would start looking on-line for another concert. She said she had to have something to look forward to. I guess, with a stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis, the future she always thought she would have was too painful to contemplate. We lived rock concert to rock concert. Our last concert was 2 1/2 months before she passed. Her cancer taught her to live in the moment. She fought it with everything modern medicine threw at her while most likely knowing in her heart that the cancer would probably, eventually, take her. She didn't (couldn't???) talk about death or her fears. She endured her battle with quiet dignity and courage. I never heard her utter a complaint or why me?. Her cancer stole her health, her future, her children's mother, her husband's wife, my only sister, and in the final weeks even made her struggle for every breath. But right up to the end, she bore it all quietly with a dignity I have never witnessed in my lifetime.
As a survivor, my sister's cancer left me heartbroken, empty, depressed. I will miss her for the rest of my life. I pray that she is in a beautiful, peaceful place with my Dad. The lessons I learned during her 3 1/2 battle are too numerous, to hard to find words that will do them justice. I did learn to cherish every moment, every phone conversation with her. We made memories and now the memories are what I have to sustain me.

Sent by Susan H. | 10:11 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer....has been a blessing in many ways. It stopped me in my tracks and I quickly learned to let the little things go, and SO many things I spent time worrying about and fretting over were little. It has allowed me to focus on what's really important, time with my daughter, with people I care about. It jolted me enough to realize that I need to be more kind and gentle with my words and focus on being more pleasant and positive. There's something to that old phrase about how people may not remember how much money you had in the bank or what kind of house you lived in or car you drove, but they'll remember how you made them feel. That's really all we leave when we're gone.

My cancer has also been a curse. It has taken my body's ability to perform and do what I feel I need to do. It has caused me to have to be dependent on others for some of the most basic tasks, tasks I long took for granted. I'd like to be remembered as one who went down fighting, giving cancer the finger with both hands. F--- you cancer, and all you've taken from all of us!

Sent by Norma H. from Kentucky | 10:12 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has depressed me, hurt me, brought me to my knees, turned my world upside down, made me a better father, husband, person. My cancer has changed everything.

Sent by David | 10:13 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me realize how blessed I am because of my three f's. My faith, my family and my friends. As I told my wife several times during my hospital stay for pancreatic cancer surgery the worst thing I could imagine would be to go through this alone. In the hospital I had a lot of time to contemplate about what is important and what is not. I never realized that so many people cared about me and my battle with the demon. The cancer helped me put my priorities in the proper order. I think Vince Lombardi had it right when he used to tell his players how to order their lives by putting their God first then their family and third their team, the Green Bay Packers.

Sent by Bob | 10:14 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer... saved my life.

Sent by Tim | 10:14 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me quite a bit, yet so little. I faced this beast with an open mind and as a learning adventure. What I learned is that I spent TOO much of my life at work. I learned that now, more than ever, how much I long to spend time enjoying family, even if it is just sitting in quiet together. I learned that we are not as in control of our time and our lives as we like to think. A good health insurance plan IS important (thankful for that). It helps to live close to one of the top cancer centers and hospitals in the world. People who care for cancer patients are really compassionate and amazingly intelligent, as are the researchers. Humor is good! Cancer is worse on the caregivers and loved ones than on the patient. My wife and son, and even some of my friends were excellent caregivers! There are too many people suffering from this disease. I know life is temporary; cancer just drives home the point. Most of all, I know that prayer is a powerful thing, with this experience, I could actually see and feel my prayers get answered, some almost instantly. I still have much more to learn...

Sent by Randy J. | 10:16 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My mother's cancer has forced me to get on my knees praying, and trust in God to get us all through this ordeal, however it ends. It has taught me that sometimes you don't see the whole road, just the bumps and bends right in front of you, but God does, and that maybe the road could smooth out a mile or two ahead and you just have to keep on living and taking care of yourself and the rest of your family in the meantime, although sometimes with a lump in your throat, and no promise of a happy ending. It has taught me to love harder, and deeper, and appreciate the absolute beauty in every day and its blessings, because "right now" is all we've got.

Sent by Connie | 10:20 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has turned my life upside down. It is the best of times and the worst of times. Knowing that my expiration date is sooner than expected has really ticked me off.

My happiness is deeper, my sadness is more profound, my tolerance for the trivial is gone.

Each day is a gift but sure knowledge of my mortality is a punch in the stomach.

I can now only truly relate to those who are also terminal, which is why I find my hospice work so rewarding.

My biggest fear is what will become of my adult disabled son. Although I've made provisions for him I'm just not ready to leave him.

Sue

Sent by Sue Mersic | 10:22 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My grandfathers "lung cancer" taught me when I was young that the only important words in the world is " I love you". When your body fails and your voice choses your words so carefully because you know that you only can say a few---the important words are only 3 and they do come out. Too bad that we all can't learn that lesson early on and live another 90 years knowing what's important.

Sent by debbie | 10:23 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has changed me for forever. I won't ever take 'routine' dr. appointments as that again. I realize I am mortal, something I had vastly denied before. I love my family and am terrified of leaving them. I pray that God's plan and mine is the same and that I'm here, on this earth, for many years.

Sent by Tracy | 10:31 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me not to be cancer phobic. My father died of cancer at age 30. My grandmother raised me and she was phobic about cancer. Anyone who was ill must have it. I grew up being very afraid of cancer. I was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 21. I was very lucky because it was Stage I and surgery alone gave me the next 25 years cancer free. God took away my fear of cancer. I am now 68 years old and have had colon cancer twice, ovarian cancer twice and Stage 3 small bowel cancer in 2006. I appear to be NED. My recent CT scan was clean. I am scheduled for a capsule endoscopy in July and both an endoscopy and ileoscopy in August. I will have the usual pretest nerves over those, but know that my Lord Jesus will bring me through no matter the outcome.
I don't think you have missed anything Leroy. Your writing and thoughts have touched my heart in many ways. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:33 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is in remission for now, but I never know when it will return.

My cancer has taught me to live life with a sense of urgency.

My cancer has taught me that nothing is permanent.

Sent by Susan C | 10:33 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has ruined my life. While the cancer itself is gone, the collateral damage to my family is perhaps irreparable. While others learned of their spouse's unconditional love, I learned that my husband turned to drugs in response to my cancer. It saddens me to know that for every story of support and love during a cancer diagnosis and treatment, there are also too many stories of someone dropping the ball. But you don't hear those stories very often, maybe because they are just too sad to tell in the midst of the rest of the grief that is cancer.

Sent by Kathy | 10:35 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me to pare down to the essentials in all things -- to live large and travel light -- trusting in the power of kindness and love to lead me where I need to go.

Sent by Virginia Foster | 10:37 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer experience took the lives of my father and my son. The negative aspects are common and obvious, the positives I have experienced and that I observed are- cancer is humbling, cancer exemplifies beauty, cancer promotes honesty, cancer encourages spiritural faith, cancer promotes love and forgiveness, cancer identifies priorities, cancer magnifies relationships, cancer exercises emotions. My cancer experience was one of the greatest lessons I will likely ever experience. Naturally I miss my father and would have given my life to save my sons, I am grateful for the lesson I have experienced and wish the magnitude of this lesson could be empowered into all of man kind with out the pain, suffering and loss of life that I have experienced.
God Bless,
In memory of Jack and Theodore

Sent by Ted Voller | 10:39 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Losing my brother to cancer in 1985 (I was 15, he was 33) reminds me that no one is ever forgotten and even decades after they leave you their influences still remain.

Reading these comments for the past 10 months every day has taught me that I am not alone: there are many caregivers who go through what I went through.
Losing my mother to cancer in 2001 has taught me to honor her: in the life I live, in the foods I cook, the books I read, the thoughts I have. You never stop missing your mother, no matter how she dies.

Mom and Dino are not forgotten. Reading this blog daily helps me to cope. By being concerned about all of you, I am still thinking of them. I honor them by caring about others with cancer and hopefully my comments will help someone, someday.

Sent by Liz L. | 10:40 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me how precious life truly is and how much I want to live.

Sent by Janie | 10:40 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer:
has made me obsessive and anxiety ridden,
has made me refine my denial skills,
has made me feel I have aged quite a bit,
has made me care way less what people think of me,
has sorted out the fake friends and left the gems,
has helped me tap back into my creative nature,
given me some hope (so far!!)and helped me spread hope to others,
has made me a better person.

Sent by NancyGM | 10:40 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has shown me the importance of enjoying each day--spending time with family and friends. But more importantly it has shown me the importance of keeping my focus on Jesus each day to give me the peace and comfort I need as I live out my life here on earth and to help me fulfill the purpose and plan that He has for me.

Sent by Linda Faulkner | 10:46 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me that I am loved, I love, and I am tough. I will not let it label me. I laugh at it and tell it "I've had worse places on my eye!" I hope it doesn't decide to go there!!!!!!

Sent by Annaleisa | 10:48 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer was not my cancer..It was my sister's cancer and her cancer made me acutely aware that I loved her more than I ever could have imagined. I wonder how I could have missed that until her illness.

Sent by Donna Rose | 10:50 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My Cancer(s),
made me realise that I am a tenant in my body. The bugs own my body.
That's okay, We can co-exist

Sent by Robert Brower | 10:50 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer reminds me to pray more often.

Sent by Maxine | 10:50 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me about both strength and humility -- the strength of my body to go through treatments and receive drugs that destroy good cells in order to kill the Beast; the strength of my spirit to focus on the things that give me joy; and the humility to realize that I cannot be (and never really was) utterly self-sufficient.

My cancer has also taught me to say "yes" more readily. I live alone and have one sister with me here in the city who can't always accompany me to doctors' visits, etc. I spent yesterday receiving my weekly chemotherapy for metastatic colorectal cancer, and I was fortunate to have the company of a good friend. I could have sat at the clinic all day by myself. But when my friend offered to come with me, I said "yes." Am I grateful that I didn't have to be there on my own ... YES.

Sent by Elsa Cumming | 10:51 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer.....has taught me what's truly important while walking this earth. It's taught me that knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus and spreading His love is the most important that. It's taught me that loving others and living each moment of every day to the fullest is all that matters.

In a nutshell...............love and live and when it's all over your Savior will call you Home.

Sent by Mary Jo Cyr | 10:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer....was the best worst thing that ever happened to me. It stopped everything in my life from fast forward to slow. I saw things for the first time. It prepared me for harder times unknown to me at the time. It renewed my faith and strengthened my compassion. It was indeed, the best worst thing that ever happened to me.

Sent by Mary Stasko | 10:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me about the goodness of God and of my friends and family. I also have learned a lot about what is important and what is not.

Sent by Bettie Wolverton | 10:52 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me to love and to be loved. To accept who I am. To exclude our flaws and find the good in all of us.

Sent by Ron | 10:54 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me worry less about what I can't control. I was always worrying about being on time, having the house clean and being all things to all people. Can't do it, all I care about now is time spent with my family and friends. All the rest just doesn't matter(as much!hard to change a type A to anything else! :) )

Sent by Jenene K., AZ | 10:59 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me that getting old is worth fighting for.

My cancer taught me to speak up for myself.

My cancer taught me that social status isn't really all that important.

My cancer taught me that there are a lot of people who really do care and are very kind.

My cancer brought out the best in people.

God bless you, Leroy!

Kathy

Sent by Kathy | 11:02 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer took away two body parts. My two beautiful breasts. Oh wait! That was my choice. I opted for life in exchange for them.
I've missed them terribly. My husband has missed them too but somehow continues to make love to me. He loves me.
He helped me with my decision. We both opted for life. I'd like to think that I totally changed my priorities because of "my cancer". But
honestly? I'm not sure that I have. Do I live every day to the fullest? No. Am I totally in the moment so as not to miss the small, wonderful
things we're supposed to notice? No. Do I always take time to "stop and smell the roses"? No. But one thing "my cancer" did? It gave me love. I love more deeply.
I give more readily. I truly think of others and pray for them. I have such empathy, that it hurts sometimes. But my heart is so full of love for
everyone and everything. "My cancer" gave me love of life.

Sent by Lyn Banghart | 11:03 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me that I am a fighter and will fight hard for my life without regrets--even when the fight leaves long term scars.

The lasting damage from fighting my cancer has inflicted many losses on me. I can't sing, can't teach in a classroom, can't talk on the phone for long periods of time, can't go on an energetic hike in the woods - all things I used to love passionately. I also suffer from chronic pain of various kinds. There's not a day my wounds will let me forget the battle I fought although I am three years cancer free. My cancer has caused me a lot of grief because of this.

My cancer showed me both the best and worst of others in my life. People who I barely knew came through for me in amazing ways and sometimes my dearest loved ones (including my husband) withdrew and let me down. I have had to learn to forgive that, which has been hard. My cancer has stretched my forgiveness muscles.

My cancer has also stretched my gratitude muscles but I have learned to be very very grateful for the smallest of things. Nothing is guaranteed and despite everything I feel like overall I have lived a blessed life. Although sometimes I have a hard time saying why exactly.

Sent by N.R. | 11:03 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer (and my husband's cancer 6 months earlier), were a loss of innocence. Even at 60, I thought illness and old age happened to other people, not me. Now life is defined as before cancer and after cancer. I liked it better before (even though we're both doing well...it's always there lurking and ready to tap you on the shoulder)

Sent by Trudie | 11:05 AM ET | 04-29-2008

I don't have cancer, my mother does and my best friend did. About four days before Carole died I asked her " do remember what we complained about last year?" So my friend's cancer gave me gratitude for every day I get that she didn't, helps me know how important the relationships in my life are, as my mother's cancer has spurred me to repair a lifetime of being at odds. Feel better.

Sent by Dianna Austin | 11:07 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer crouches in the corner of my psyche, and I know it is ready to pounce at any moment. I am hyper aware of this, and therefore, more aware of everything.

I believe that writing this blog every day must be difficult for you, Leroy, and while you are helping millions of people, none of us will mind if you take a little time off from it.

Sent by Liz Cratty | 11:12 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me aware that life is short, regardless of how long you live, so appreciate the moment, forget the irrelevant.

Sent by Cay Welsh | 11:15 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My Dad's and best friend's cancer has taught me that each day is precious and never take anything for granted. Also, that the beast can touch anyone's life.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 11:18 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer reminded me that every moment is worth living in -- I can remember the past and plan for the future, but I can only truly live right now.

Sent by Jane J | 11:18 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Cancer (I resist saying "my cancer" for some reason) has separated me from my old life. From my former sense of invulnerability; from some good friends who are strangely less available; from a world that I understood and knew my place in.
My new world is more contemplative; more focused on now; and more forgiving of myself and others.
Thanks for the opportunity to wrestle with this question, Leroy. You are, as always, my hero! Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 11:19 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Leroy,
My cancer gave me a new world...a cancer world but also a window of oportunity to DO something about this awful word. To change other's lives, to not let it happen for some . I can never go back to the way 'it once was'. After that word, this is what is, why not make the best of it? In this world my cancer=advocate.

Sent by Jo-Ellen | 11:19 AM ET | 04-29-2008

allowed me to accept the love of family and friends and taught me about the generosity of strangers.

Sent by Carole | 11:23 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has paralyzed my life due to my disabilities. It has taken away so many things that I used to enjoy... eating, the ability to plan future activities and commit to them, traveling globally, working intensely, participating/hosting fun social gatherings, scuba diving, golfing, working out, and communicating verbally comfortably. I can still do some of these activities some of the time, but not with the pleasure that I was able to do before cancer. It has also taken away my spouse's ability to enjoy many of the activities we used to so much enjoy doing together. It has not been easy on either of us.

My cancer has allowed me to spend more quality time with my daughter and help her with homework and when asked, social situations. She's now a teenager and knows everything by the way. But, she humors me and still asks for advice occasionally. I've been thrilled to spend this time with her and help her become wiser in the ways of the world. This is time my cancer doctors didn't think I would have 2 years ago. It has also shown me great friendships and compassion from so many people including family, friends, and medical professionals. This has taught me to be more compassionate, generous, and thoughtful at times.

Although cancer has made me wiser and smarter in a few very important ways, I would trade it in a minute for the life I had before the words I heard for the first time 3 years ago today on April 29 2005, "you have cancer." I miss my old "normal." My new "normal" is something I do the best I can with daily, but each day is a reminder of the good times I had and the things that I've lost.

Ed Steger
www.hncancer.blogspot.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 11:25 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer helped me sort out what is and what is not important. I learned that I could get up every morning for 33 radiation treatments and still make it into work. And I learned that my employer didn't really care, and laid me off anyway. That would be illegal in Europe. I learned that my boyfriend of many years was a coward and ran away, so I let him go. This I think opens up a place for someone in my life who will love me the way I deserve to be loved. A friend calls and says "I think about you all the time." That is love.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 11:27 AM ET | 04-29-2008

I agree with Jen Barad's post, I refuse to give cancer credit for anything good in my life. My cancer has made me aware of my mortality and through this awareness I have a deep appreciation of my husband's unconditional love, of my friend's love and my sister's love. I love waking up every morning, to be here, to be alive.

Sent by Ruth White | 11:30 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is both a blessing and a curse. It has given me clarity and vision that I didn't have before, but the price I've paid for it has been pretty steep. I wish that there was an easier way to have earned that clarity and vision that wasn't so painful, and not really so much painful for me (although it is), but painful for family and friends to endure.

Sent by Bob Maimone | 11:31 AM ET | 04-29-2008

I don't have cancer but have had loved ones with it.
Cancer has taught me fear, anger, and awe.

Sent by bettye | 11:31 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has taught me how precious life is and that I will not be here forever and neither will anyone else.

I kiss and hug the love of my life and my daughter every morning, no matter what!

I talk to the ones I love almost daily.

My cancer has shown me what a warrior I truely am.

I have learned to stop putting crap into my body. At first I felt justified with all I was going through that I could eat whatever the heck I wanted...now I say to myself whey would I want to put that in my body and make my body process all that stuff. I also excercise now!

True friends have been there. They were not afraid to call or visit. They showed up.

My cancer has taught me to appreciate even more the sunsets, beach, birds, animals, all of nature and beauty.

My cancer has taught me that we just really don't know when we are going. For this reason I never take for granted the ones I love so much. I want them to know how much they mean to me.

Through cancer I am learning not to worry about things I cannot control. Not an easy lesson. Stay in the moment...

I talk to God and pray daily.

My cancer has taught me I am not afraid to die, I just don't want to. I love life and living!

Sent by Carolynn Dubicki | 11:32 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer took me to places that I'd witnessed as a nurse, but couldn't really appreciate fully until I found myself there. It took me to the depths of despair, it forced me to become assertive in advocating for myself, to be persistent when I wasn't being heard or treated effectively. It reinforced my trust in synchronicity. When I needed help and it showed up without struggle, I knew that it was the correct path, the right decision, and it always worked out. My cancer became my cancers in November when I was diagnosed with a second type of metastatic cancer. I went through some tough early times, but was able to use the tools I'd been given, and the strengths that I'd found in myself with breast cancer to cope with what I had to do and find peace once more.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 11:32 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is not mine. It is some THING that I will fight against with every breath in my body. It is not welcome here.
But that THING has taught me to hold onto the best things in life. Love, laughter, family and friends. Everything else can go jump in the lake. :-)

Sent by Laura Stechschulte | 11:37 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me how to live life one day at a time.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 11:41 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is my sister's cancer and my other sister's cancer, my mother's cancer, my father's cancer, my mother-in-law's cancer, my
father-in-law's cancer and even my cat's cancer. What is said to be their cancer is my own, even if I don't have it growing in me. Cancer surrounds me and makes me want to spend my money more freely and my days more calculated because this disease gnaws away at our time. Life's end has become so much closer with each of these cancers that now I'm more thoughtful in sculpting what remains.

Sent by Laurie de Gonz??lez | 11:43 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer (glioblastoma multiforme) has taught me more fully enjoy life. The gift is being at peace with a terminal illness right from the start.

Sent by Paul Syvertsen | 11:44 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My husband's cancer made me grow up and take responsibility for myself.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:46 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has gotten me at least four trips to Vegas in the last two years from my wife that she previously would have probably rejected.My cancer has also gotten me pity sex on a few occasions from my wife, my cancer has also made me realize that life can get real short if you're not lucky and has made me hustle in my business and my work-out schedule to stay ahead of the cancer. My cancer has changed my morning email ritual. I used to read my emails and stocks in that order, now I read NPR(Leroy) my emails then my stocks. Thanks for everything Leroy.

Sent by Tom | 11:48 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is something I hope I don't develop. Dealing with my father's cancer was enough.

Sent by Joyce | 11:48 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer helped me realize how blessed I have been in my lifetime. My cancer helped me appreciate my friends more and to learn how to "let" them help me which is also good for them. My cancer taught me to accept a new normal after each major treatment that took away some part of my previous normalcy. Three years ago wearing a diaper every day would have been a big deal--now it is part of normal and just fine. It allows me to lead a more "normal" life in other ways. My cancer taught me to value each day to the fullest and to realize that any day that is relatively pain free is a good day. My cancer also robbed me of my ability to continue my job as a professor that I truly loved, to play golf, to hike as long and as far as I would like and will likely soon end my life. It is not all good but cancer has taught me to find the good in each day.

Sent by Sally W | 11:51 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer... sucks. That's all. If I'm supposed to have learned something from it, I missed it completely. It hasn't made me embrace the moment, it's made me more fearful and anxious. And that's despite the fact that I'm currently cancer-free. I feel like I'm just waiting for it to come back, and every ache and pain makes me wonder if it's back.

I hate that now, at 32, I know (not just a logical knowing, but deep down really believing) that I'm going to die someday and that there are things I'm just not going to be able to do with my life. Before cancer, I still believed anything was possible, and even though I knew, logically, that someday I'd die, I didn't really believe that, because death is something that we all believe happens to someone else and not to us, at least not until we're old. (You can define "old" however you want to - I've noticed my definition has changed over time.)

Sent by Shannon | 11:51 AM ET | 04-29-2008

Above all, my cancer has made me really understand at a gut level that we're all going to die -- and that in my case, it will most likely be far sooner than expected. It has taught me how precious every day is -- and made me hate wasting time on meaningless or small-minded activity. Knowing how little time is left causes me to speak more directly and honestly, since there's no time to beat around the bush. Sometimes, I must admit, my cancer makes me angry. But usually,my cancer makes me feel a sort of aching tenderness toward my fellow humans, all just stumbling along, doing the best we can.

Sent by Doris | 11:53 AM ET | 04-29-2008

My Dad's cancer, and my friends' cancers, have taught me that life is fragile and uncertain, and that it's a good idea for *all* of us to have our "affairs in order." All the time -- not just when cancer is knocking on the door.

Sent by Dorothy | 12:01 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My brother's cancer woke me up. Life and love are now. This minute. Today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Sent by kathleen | 12:05 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My Cancer has not yet arrived. Maybe I can be prepared for that arrival. With family history of both survival and death, it leaves me unsure. But with that history I am also as prepared as possible. I neither obsess over nor ignore my health. But I am aware.

Sent by Kathy C | 12:15 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My son's cancer taught me that life is precious and should not be taken advantage of - that I should live in the moment.

Sent by Jeff B | 12:17 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me realize how much I'm loved.
My cancer never brought down my spirits.
My cancer enabled me to reach out to others and tell my story.
My cancer made me aware how fragile life is.
My cancer didn't take over my life - I wouldn't allow it to!
My cancer made me realize how strong I was and that a smile and laughter go a long way!!

Sent by Susan Sheehan | 12:22 PM ET | 04-29-2008

Hi Leroy. Thank you for challenging us with your post today.

My cancer....at the age of 48 starkly brought into my consciousness that I was mortal. My cancer taught me that I had inner strength not even imagined before. It taught me the power of the human spirit to fight, to succeed, to live. My cancer brought sharply into focus the fact that I believe in God, in Jesus, in the promise of the future, whether or not it's in this body today.
My cancer, amazingly, turned me into a role model for others who were shocked that someone they knew had this disease. My cancer taught me that I have an empathy for others who have illness, and that I can offer a new level of support that I wouldn't have known before. My cancer taught me the value of slowing down and taking time with those I love; my cancer taught me that each day is a gift to be cherished.

Sent by Martha in FL | 12:27 PM ET | 04-29-2008

I bring you my sister Tamara Engel's words and what cancer taught her and in turn me about the wail and the wonder of life.

"Ovarian cancer and chemotherapy has changed my body and mind. My energy is good, but my stamina and endurance are not what they used to be. The muscle tone I once had from regular exercise is gone. "Chemo brain" is real for me. It takes me longer to process information, read and write. My short term memory and word retrieval is much slower than what it was two years ago. At times I think I've aged ten years in two! Then I feel worried and weary. I wail. At times I notice that I'm thinking more with my heart and funny bone. There is more love and laughter in my life. That's the wonder.

Twice I've lost my beautiful thick, never a bad hair day, hair. Even worse three times I've lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. Eyebrows help give expression to my face, eyelashes filter out dirt and could have protected me from repeated eye infections. I wail. I look in the mirror and see that I look like I'm a cancer patient. I say to myself with amusement, "Well, what did you expect? You are." I notice a wide smile. I have not lost my inner beauty! That's the wonder.

I have a quick-minded eighty -- eight year old mother. I find myself thinking about what this is like for her. I have a much beloved thirty year old daughter. I find myself thinking about what this is like for her even more. I wail. I hold my daughter in my arms and she holds me tight. We sob and sob. A stillness replaces the sobs and we breathe more naturally. Emily asks hesitantly, "Is this a good time to ask if you could proofread a paper I wrote?" I respond, "It couldn't be more perfect." Life as we have known it. Ah, the quotidian things of life. That's the wonder.

Having and treating ovarian cancer and its side effects devours time. Managing my illness is a full time job for me and takes plenty of my partner, Jim's time as well. Another double header day. Jim accompanies me to my PET Scan and later an appointment with my oncologist. Traffic is heavy. We are both tired, cranky and weary. We wail. In the evening, we watch a Marlins baseball game and talk about the Brooklyn Dodgers just as we did together when we were teenagers living in Brooklyn. Time becomes timeless. That's the wonder."

Celia Engel Bandman

Sent by celia Bandman | 12:30 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer made me aware of life and how precious and beautiful it is. It also made me aware of how short life is and that every moment should be lived to its fullest and that nothing is more satisfying than love given and received.

Sent by Bob | 12:40 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My best friend's cancer taught me to stop and appreciate the beauty of each day and to appreciate the little things in life. To not be so fearful or to postpone living.
My best friend's cancer taught me the joy of having a "best friendship". It taught me to always remember that love and friendship are priceless treasures.
My best friend's cancer taught me that cancer can take a life, but can't conquer the spirit.
My best friend's cancer taught me that I can still live with a shredded heart. Wish it didn't have to be that way. For anyone.

Sent by Jen | 12:41 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer....has cut down on the number of times that I say "Tomorrow will be better" or "when x y or z happens, everything will be ok" and makes me try hard to make the here and now good.

Sent by Beth S. , Louisville, Ky | 12:42 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer haunts me.

Sent by Jane | 12:46 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer the first time was an impetus to change my life. I stopped doing things I didn't want to do and took greater risks, changing jobs, moving to a new house and enrolling in graduate school. Then I forgot about the beast as each year passed. Now, at age 64, it is back after 19 years(breast cancer mets to the pleura of the lung) I was shocked and sad but am now hopeful. I don't have anxiety because I have launched my kids. I'm in a different place, at peace. Currently, I'm in remission but don't know for how long. If it comes back, it comes back. There's not a lot I can do about it. I'm surprised that I feel this way. Leroy, I think cancer teaches each one of us different things and it is always in flux. I think you're open to its lessons which are unique to you and often shared by others. Thank you for blogging.

Sent by cna | 12:59 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer forced me to distinguish between life's really important stuff, and life's trivial details. My cancer came at an inopportune time-IS there an opportune time? My cancer transformed me from an impatient perfectionist to an easier-going woman with more understanding and compassion for human nature and human spirit. My cancer made me really ill and therefore I now really appreciate my post-treatment vigor and attitude.

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 1:09 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer thought me to appreciate the little things, enjoy every minute of the day, look at the flowers and enjoy their beauty. Listen to all and thank them for being around me. And most of all that this to shall end and life will go on for others. Thank you Leroy for sharing with us.

Sent by Marelly | 1:10 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer did not change me as much as I thought it would; I guess I've always believed that any day I wake up is a good day.

Still, I'm keeping it [the experience], I think I need it. I've felt a lot of love. Keeping that too.

Sent by scott bronson | 1:17 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My husband's cancer:
-has shown me how strong I really am.
-has brought us closer together.
-has helped us leave that fast-paced workaholic life behind.
-has helped us focus on what's really important.
-has helped us live life one day at a time.

Not all of the lessons we've learned along this two year journey have been easy ... but we are both better people today because of them. Two years ago the word "cancer" was still 3 days away from being spoken. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 1:29 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is the knowledge that at any time, it could be my turn. It has taken too many people I love. Cancer is undiscerning. Sometimes we can see a reason why it strikes and sometimes the randomness is cruel beyond comprehension. My beloved friend Deb finally met the love of her life after too many bad relationships and was dead two years later from breast cancer. It still breaks my heart. Cancer has claimed too many family members for me not to know it could well come for me one day. I don't live in fear of it, but in awareness. And I hate the mindlessness of this disease that takes good people to an early grave.

Sent by Carol | 1:29 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me that there are good people out there who are willing to help when you least expect it...that everyday is a good day because it is one more day that you are alive...that my husband loves me in sickness and in health, big time...that given adversity, a positive attitude and will to live has its own life force.

Sent by Cathy Q. | 1:30 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me to LIVE each day to the fullest. JO

Sent by Jo | 1:31 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer stole my children's innocence.

Sent by ssd | 1:35 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer sucks. It gets credit for nothing positive in my life. Everything good, loving and hopeful in my life is there because I cultivated it. Cancer is screwing up my plans.

Sent by Tracy | 1:38 PM ET | 04-29-2008

Your Blog... is wonderful. There are times in my world when I feel alone. In reading other responses to your request to finish the sentence there are many I identify with.

I figured out my diagnosis as the head of radiation came in to talk to me after an ultrasound. It had to be ovarian cancer... OMG Martin Luther King Jr.'s wife died of that this morning. Gilda Radner died of that... I've always feared it (with no reason).

Fear started to build inside me... I then closed my eyes and asked God to give me strength to face what lay ahead. The fear was gone and is gone.

My cancer is being fought! I wrote this poem the day after the diagnosis hours before meeting with the wonderful surgeon that has given me 2 1/2 years and counting.

I know!!
??2006 by Carol Notermann

I know that I'm not in control... But Thank God that He is!
I know that I've no need to plan, for the best plan is His.

I know that I am not alone. Friends walk the path with me.
I know that yes, I must be strong, find out what waits for me.

I know that as in "Footprints" there's only one set in the sand.
and I know that I am clinging, very tightly to His hand.

Today, I'll see what surgeons -- can do to help me stay
here with all my loved ones, cherishing each day.

Sent by Carol Notermann | 1:40 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has put me back on the path.

Sent by Marshall T. Spriggs | 1:41 PM ET | 04-29-2008

Treating cancer has changed my personal view of the world.

http://thisibelieve.org/dsp_ShowEssay.php?uid=38596&lastname=tejura&yval=0&start=0

Sent by Krupai Tejura MD | 1:42 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me that I am living and dying at the same time. The living feels so full and so intense, filled with exquisite beauty and wonder. The dying feels like I am tearing away all the layers, seeing parts of me I didn't know were there, and it hurts, but just a little. And I am also learning forgiveness and gentleness and a lightness of being that will hopefully let me die with peace and grace.

Sent by Rebecca | 1:43 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me how to survive. It made me look at each day that I get to live in one of two ways: it's either a good day or a great day.

Sent by Jason | 1:49 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "Carpe diem"

Sent by Karen | 1:51 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancerS thought me that I can hold still for needles, but will never be able to watch or get used to them. My cancers continue to teach me how wonderful my (now)husband is than in all the years I knew him before. My cancers have taught me how to be a caregiver and that it is truly harder to be a caregiver than it is to be the patient.
Leroy and Laurie - Keep up the good work! Thank you!

Sent by Judie from CT | 1:51 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has only strengthened my pre-cancer belief that there is not a god in the sense we mortals understand. If prayer works then god is ignoring a lot of good people. And if it's because we can't understand the workings of god then I really don't want to understand how a god that allows so much suffering works. Not just cancer suffering, but all the other even more horrible things that go on in the world. Either god doesn't exist or is not paying attention.

Sent by Marcia | 1:51 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me what is REALLY important in my life....

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 1:56 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has humbled me.

Sent by Susan P | 2:01 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is theoretical until I get this lump examined in my breast. Will I be the lucky 80% with something benign? I know now that we are not any disease that we have, but still our lovely selves no matter what.

Sent by Lisa | 2:02 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My Cancer has been a lesson in humility, patience and perserverance. I have met many people who are survivors, and some who didn't make it. Some of these people have been a great inspiration to me.
I have sent several emails to you Leroy, in the past, and just realized sending them via a return from your email to me doesn't work. Sorry, my fault!
I carried "The Beast" since late 2004. I've gone through several operations, treatments and lots of pain.
I was determined over the last two years to defeat it using a Holistic method of eating, and supplements that are known to have helped cure it.
I feel I'm alive because of my attitude, and determination to learn about the disease. Consuming foods and supplements that Cancer can't feed on has helped some.
However, in Feb. of this year, I had to be admitted to emergency. I could'nt urinate. The tumors had again grown back in my Bladder and I had to have them removed.
At this point I decided a different approach was eminent.
My daughter in Santa Monica, CA., learned of Norris Cancer Hospital and a Dr. who perfected the "Radical Cystectomy" procedure.
I am currently recovering in Michigan.
My Cancer kept me "trapped" in my apartment for a lot of time, before my surgery. I began writing a column for a 10-12 page circular called "The Lighthouse" published for the Knights of Columbus (Charter 11368) of St. Hubert's Parish in Harrison Twp. of which I am a member. In it I tell of my experiences with the disease.
I was a Printer for a major newspaper in Detroit at one time, and take a some pride in what that craft taught me. I wished for years I could do write and Cancer made that possible.
I believe there is a purpose to everything that happens to us in life, good or seemingly bad. I'm sure you are beginning to see this at times.
The key however, is attitude, and never, never giving up. Finding out everything you can about the disease, what it feeds on, what it hates, and about eating habits and foods and supplements that slow it down and help defeat it, is a must! Doctors and the medical profession are well trained in surgery and pharmacy. However, I believe they don't know what causes Cancer, nor what can help prevent it or slow it down once it rears it's ugly self! They have made great strides, but utlimately you have to be pro-active and do everything you can to beat it!
I hope you keep up the fight, and keep praying as I will for you. God Bless!

Sent by Vic VandenBulcke | 2:04 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My son's friend Matt's cancer taugh me how lucky I am to have a healthy son. How great it had been to see him drive a car, go to his prom, graduate from high school, go to college, work.....
It also made me realize how sad it was that his parents never got to see him do any of those things.

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 2:07 PM ET | 04-29-2008

Your cancer reminds me how to live during this amazing journey called life.

Sent by Kathy | 2:10 PM ET | 04-29-2008

Cancer stripped me of my hair, breasts, uterus, ovaries, eyebrows, eyelashes, 60 pounds of excess weight, career, and marriage. But I looked in the mirror one morning and saw big green eyes, a beautiful smile and a spirit that filled the entire room and said "There you are. I wondered where you were all these years. Welcome home."

Katie

Sent by L.K. Fuehrer | 2:11 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has made me a more compassionate human being.

Sent by Mel Sebastiani | 2:12 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer both shrunk and expanded my world: it limits my choices in life, but allowed me to understand that I control how I take each breath.

Sent by Venita | 2:16 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer taught me you really don't know how you will feel about a thing until it happens to you. I am stronger than I thought I was. I am loved beyond my wildest imagination. I know the meaning of the word "precious". Life, grandchildren,husbands love,care of friends, waking up each day with breath in my (diseased) lungs. Regardless of what happens to me, life goes on. I have learned that no matter what I am going through, someone else has it worse. I am truley more blessed than I deserve to be.

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 2:19 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My mom's cancer taught me to do it now or it may never happen. It taught me that I would rather try and fail, then never try at all. She showed me that we all have mounds of "Someday I'll..." statements that never see reality. Make them real. This is my life. I don't want to regret. Not ever. She is filled with broken dreams and now may never have the chance to try. I will follow mine for her safe and for my own.

Sent by Rachel | 2:19 PM ET | 04-29-2008

Cancer has been a beast in my life. The ultimate robber baron, a ruling force in my life, in my life choices, in love, in loss, in redemption, in my future............................
I have never been given a diagnosis of cancer. Yet cancer charged into my life like a bull from early childhood without me even knowing it. As a young child, my father was diagnosed with cancer. Not just cancer, but malignant melanoma....a serious cancer today, but a virtual death sentence in the early 1960's. The family folklore goes that soon after his father's death from lung cancer (yes, he was a smoker); my father threw out his pipes and cigars and cigarettes and quit smoking cold turkey. Soon afterward, he was diagnosed. Like many daughters of Eastern European parentage in the mid 20th century, the word 'cancer' was only spoken of in whispers and never to a child.
So I grew up with this unnamed monster in my house. My father was periodically hospitalized, vacations cut short by medical test results, and hushed tears and whispers of grown ups as my then 30 something (medically unsophisticated) parents had to make agonizing decisions-and then choose to tell or not to tell their child.
As I grew and went to college, my parents were emotional...not only because I was their first child to go away to complete a four year degree, but now that I was out of the house, my father would go to the National Cancer Institute for experimental chemotherapy. It has been a miracle that he has already lived a functional life for approximately 15 years with his cancer.
By Christmas break the revenges of experimental chemotherapy took hold and I finally was told he had cancer ....he died by summer and like so many families, the beast of cancer fragmented our family beyond repair.
I became a virtual orphan and after rattling around for a bit finished college and graduate school becoming a therapist and occasionally working with cancer patients and their families. I married and began to live the happily ever after that I had longed for all my life.
When my 33 year old husband David told me he was 'going to get his summer cold' I did think too much of it; but 6 weeks later an MRI showed a mass in his stomach the size of a watermelon. A virulent cancer had attacked his colon and liver. He was dead in a year.

Angry at God for letting lightening strike twice, I went back to school, submerged all the hurt and grief and received an advanced degree in epidemiology 2 years later. Putting that together with my personal and professional history, I swore to make a difference to fight the monster that thus far made my life a misery each time I reached for happiness. During that time God and I came to some sort of uneasy piece. I still shake my fist at Her on occaision-but I am confident that She can take it.
Now I am an epidemiologist specializing in cancer. I take calls for research data, write papers, and give lectures to students; but the most rewarding work I do is handle the public calls. People who are scared, people who need to be educated, people who want to be reassured-by someone who has been there to....
Cancer taught me to survive against the odds even when I wanted to die. To speak the truth in love, to live with courage and take risks, to live confidently, to love fiercely like there is no tomorrow- and for those of us left to survive, we must live the legacy of the lost loves, and move on.

Sent by Carolyn | 2:22 PM ET | 04-29-2008

There are only two choices with Cancer, give up or keep moving forward. MY CANCER taught me that I have the strength and the will to only have one direction, and that is forward.

Sent by Amy Jenkins | 2:23 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer is gone ... but never forgotten.

My cancer tightened family bonds and gave friends and acquaintances the courage to share their kind thoughts of me with me.

My cancer opened my eyes to my inner strength.

My cancer gave me the gift of appreciation -- appreciation of life, of others who are fighting the battle, of a beautiful sunny day.

Thanks for asking Leroy.

Sent by Rhonda Howard | 2:24 PM ET | 04-29-2008

My cancer has brought me:
- my highest highs and lowest lows
- serenity
- love in greater depth and breadth
- a new motorcycle to feel the wind and