Cancer does seem to be everywhere. I suppose its only due to my having had it/have it? After my diagnosis I saw cancer everywhere. On t.v., ads, movies, everyone i knew has someone or had someone with cancer. Maybe its like when you are riding in your car and looking for VW beetles, you notice more when you are looking when otherwise you may not even notice. It can definitely be comforting but lately I want to run away from "it", so tired of it all around me.

Sent by Jenn | 7:50 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Dear Leroy,
I know one thing about Cancer that's a positive thing and it's your Blog. We may not want to talk about "The Beast" every day, but it's always present and your posts make it all the more bearable. Thanks so very much for giving all of us a safe place to go when we're at our wit's end. Have the best day possible and keep posting!

Sent by Elaine | 7:50 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Good Monday Morning Leroy! Boy, we are moving swiftly through this month aren't we? When will your new tests and evaluation begin? Yes you are right about us hearing and seeing more and more about cancer, all types, on TV, newspapers, and radio. That is good that this disease has people facing up to it and admitting it exists. Now, if we can only force the greedy ones who are making such profit from the sale of drugs for it and work on perfecting a cause and cure for cancer, we will truly be facing up to it. By now we should have been much further along with research. from what I read, they are pretty much treating the various cancers with the same drugs, chemo, radiation, etc. as they did twenty years ago when I was first diagnosed. Of course you can say that I am still here and that counts for something! We have more x-rays and scans today and a bigger selection of drugs, but have we cured any form of cancer? We have wiped out many of the old childhood diseases, why have we dragged out feet with this large one? Money and greed? If we irradicate cancer, what will the drug companies do? However you sound better Leroy and I hope you can get some good news soon and can relax more.

Sent by J C R | 7:50 AM ET | 05-19-2008

This post hits home really hard Leroy. I too watch tv and often "critique" the cancer related stories. I too feel a part of it and wonder sometimes what the rest of the world sees. It amazes me every time I meet someone that has no idea what lymphoma is or that there are at least 80 forms of NHL alone. People lump all cancers together. In a way this is true but in many ways it is not. I am a year and a half out of diagnosis and doing so very well. I am in the possible cure zone which is not an option for so many. However, will there ever be a day that I don't think about it? Would that be good?

Sent by Lori | 7:51 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Dear Leroy,

Every time I hear a bird sing, I think of you. When I think my life is falling apart, I think of you, because your honesty and candor, give me strength to face my own struggles and keep living. Everyday I say a prayer for you and Laurie. Cancer has featured prominently in my life since I was a little girl, and my mom died of cancer when I was 14. I would like to send you a picture of Gracie (14 yr. old pomeranian) because when I'm at my lowest point, she has an inspirational energy and a zest for living. She, too, is one of my inspirations.

Love,
Virgie

Sent by Virgie | 8:24 AM ET | 05-19-2008

The only way I look at cancer when I hear about it, is that I am in the group who has it and then there is the group who doesn't have it. Exception.....caregivers.
I too, critique those who "identify" with us. Then too, unfairly, I resent people who have had BC...IN SITU...Cut it out, no chemo, no rad, and it is all gone. They are fronting it. All very unreasonable of me, unfair. Cancer is cancer. Nothing can be made light of it, and no one persons is more or less than the others....am I being mean? Yes. Is it my way of coping, YES.
And people,do educate yourselves. All cancers are NOT the same...so don't compare us to Aunt Lucy or whoever, who had BC 25 years ago, they cut it out and she never heard "tell of it" after. What world is that?
Yep...I complained and vented today. Sorry.
Prayers, Blessings and May The Grace Of God Be With You.
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:57 AM ET | 05-19-2008

My mother insisted that we keep my brother's cancer a secret, so we didn't talk much about it openly. I almost never talked about it with my friends (although they knew). Terms of Endearment came out about that time. I don't know how realistic the movie was for a patient. But I remember Shirley MacClaine talking describing losing her daughter. Her descriptions helped me understand my mother's feelings when Mom wouldn't tell us herself.

Comparing illness on TV and in real life sounds like a great topic to explore further... how about writing a longer piece for a paper, or to use as a commentary for NPR?

Sent by Liz L. | 9:05 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Hello Leroy and those in the bleachers who meet here (almost) every day.

Our heightened awareness of cancer...on TV, in movies, the news, etc. extends, for me at least, to spotting women sporting the tell tale bandana/baseball cap. Generally a sign of treatment for cancer, I recognize a sisterhood forged not by heredity, but by experiences.

Cancer may limit my life, but it has expanded my world.

Sent by Peggy | 9:11 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Leroy - Ever seen 'Breaking Bad'? While the story is outlandish - The conversations the main character has with the doctors is spot on. It's like they all read from the same script. Check it out.

Sent by Tim | 9:12 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Sometimes I wonder if there is more cancer today than when I was a boy in the 40's-50's or is it that it is easier to diagnose plus the constant attention from the news, TV and internet makes it seem like an epidemic? What about Alzheimer's plus numerous other diseases? Are they really more prevalent today or are diagnostic procedures more sophisticated hence the greater numbers? Just a philosophical point because it doesn't really matter.

In the cancer world, there are many small victories but they are not really publicized unless it is a celebrity or sports figure. I have numerous friends and acquaintances who have battled breast cancer, NHL, leukemia, prostate, lung, melanoma and are currently NED. They may be considered small victories in the great war against cancer but each survivor serves as beacon of Hope for all who are in the fight now. I would be remiss to not recognize the family members, friends and acquaintances who lost their fights. I honor their memories by continuing to persevere.

Leroy, when the word cancer is spoken in any context, I think of you!! Not as a victim or patient but as a noble soul who took extreme adversity and created a place of comfort, support, and nourishment for the soul....YOUR BLOG!

Yep, if you hear us talking about cancer, we are talking about you! It is our way of honoring what you have done for all of us.

Blessings and prayers as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 9:20 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Funny you should say, "They're talking about me". I felt that way when I first watched your documentary on Discovery. I remember that evening clearly. I had seen the ads for Living with Cancer, but my husband wasn't sure that it would be a good idea for me to watch. Being myself, I set the DVR to record it!!! I cannot tell you how deeply your story and Stephanie's story has affected my journey into cancer world. My outlook is different; I don't take myself so seriously; I don't hesitate to tell my friends how much I love them; I always give my husband and daughter a kiss before I leave for work. "Living with Cancer" allowed me to peer into a world that I was just walking into. But Leroy, you hit it on the head. You told our story to everyone that was lucky enough to tune in. I even made my Mom come over and watch it with me.

So does tv get cancer right? I don't know. But I do know that you, Leroy, have shared more with all of us than any doctor, nurse, caretaker could. You are one of us...thanks for sharing your story. With love and hugs and kisses!!! I hope this day is a good day!

Sent by Tess from KY | 9:21 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Hi Leroy, I was first introduced in 2005 with my father dealing with it, and then passing. Then again in 2008 with my wonderful wife being diagnosed, and then passing earlier this year. I never noticed cancer until it hit home. Sometimes I'm ashamed to say this, but it's the truth, that I'm to self absorbed to notice.
In reading this blog I have become more sensitive, and I think a better person.
I think through reading this blog I've learned to be kinder, and able to say yes more often, instead of no.
Good blog, Leroy, keep walking to the glory of God.

Sent by Donato Salazar | 9:22 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Battlestar Galactica (BSG) gets it right, where something like Desperate Housewives gets it wrong (for what I have seen.)
BSG, the character with cancer was resigned to their fate, then had the hope of a miracle cure (like a trial), was "cured", but the remission has ended and the character seems to be heading toward the end stages of cancer. The character has shown the stress that comes from cancer. Her hair is gone, and her outlook on life as a whole has been effected and changed as a result of her illness returning (and in fact worsening.)
On Desperate Housewives I think she had cancer for about 2 weeks. Chemo was a breeze, and she is back and better then ever. While I am sure that is the experience of some people, it is not mine. (Of course I will admit to not watching the show closely, it is a favorite of my wife, so I may have just missed it.) It seems the people on that show have been more effected by a tornado.
So in my opinion, the show that is the most unreal does a better job then the show that should present at least a bit more reality.

Sent by Brit | 9:29 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Talking about it is indeed a positive thing!

We NEED to talk about it in order to do something about it!

I am a 33 year survivor.. for 30 of those years I was silent about my experience.. no one talked about it back then as you say... and look where we are.. we have made such little progress in the last 30 years it is a travesty!

We know so much more about this disease than anyone realizes.. yes there are new diagnosis and treatments.. but so much of that is NOT available to the vast majority of people who need them!

The dispartity between what we know and what we do is amazing!

By being vocal together we can make a difference.. By bringing this disease into the daylight via any and all formats and media will make a difference for those who follow!

I commend and applaud you Leroy on all you have done for so many by being so vocal and sharing your experience!

YOU have made a difference

I hope through my voice and actions I too can make a difference as you have done here!

I encourage everyone out there to speak out!

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 9:35 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Dear Leroy,
Hope you are having a good Monday! Most of the time TV dramas that have cancer stories as a sideline seem to get things wrong at least from my limited perspective. I guess the good thing is that at least they are talking about it and raising awareness. The one "cancer thing" on TV that used to drive me crazy were the Procrit ads where all the patients had full heads of hair. When I needed Procrit I was bald as a billiard ball!
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 9:36 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Brian's Song and Death Be Not Proud with Robby Benson were my first lessons in cancer. Because my family was being consumed by Diabetes, I knew very little about cancer until I hit my 20's. I figured cancer must be a problem guys have. What can I say, I was kinda slow. I think you're right Leroy. I think it's good that t.v. shows deal with the issue of cancer.

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 9:57 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Before cancer, I would watch movies and TV shows about cancer and think -- how sad. Now, I have to stop and think -- am I emotionally fit enough today to watch this? Shadowlands was on this past weekend. I hope everyone has had a chance to see this movie about C S Lewis and his wife, Joy. A true example of love and commitment in the face of terminal cancer.

But mostly, they get it wrong when they make a movie or television show about cancer. That is what is so important about what you do Leroy. You give us all a forum to get it right.

Let's keep talking.

Sent by Carol from Nashville | 10:07 AM ET | 05-19-2008

We could make our own TV show just from this blog! Prayers to all.

Sent by sasha321 | 10:12 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Tomorrow is the third anniversary of my brain cancer surgery. You can guess that it was as successful as possible. I follow your posts daily, but I don't read most of the comments. If my cancer should return, and we know it could, I would go back and read every post and comment on your blog. What a wonderful collection of a journey and its support. I hope you're in the process of saving your positive story for all who will benefit in the future. Thank you.

Sent by J. Lorentz | 10:15 AM ET | 05-19-2008

What I cannot imagine, is how isolated and lonely it had to be for people living with cancer if it had to be kept a secret...

How can we, why should we feel ashamed about a disease that will likely kill us?

I am so annoyed when I hear lessons being given on how one should live one's life to stay as cancer free as possible, implying to a certain degree that one saw one's cancer coming by not eating veggies, not relaxing enough, etc... Possibly resulting with a person feeling sorry and ashamed to have ruined his/her own life!

There is also a hierarchy in cancer, resulting in disparities in research founding, with lung cancer being at the bottom of the pile! How do you foundraise for a smoker's cancer? huh?

It is difficult for other diseases as well. In my eyes, we are still in the dark age regarding the way hiv patients are ignored.

You got me going Leroy!

Sent by Fran | 10:43 AM ET | 05-19-2008

It seems to me like too often cancer makes an appearance in movies when the character with it is headed towards a tragic death. I hate that use of it in that way in the media. But you're right that's not all there is anymore.

Sent by N.R. | 10:47 AM ET | 05-19-2008

I agree with Donato. I paid much more attention to cancer after my husband's diagnosis. Then it seemed to be everywhere and for us it was lung cancer awareness. This week is the anniversary of his death - but I still follow this blog daily and still read up on anything cancer related.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 10:54 AM ET | 05-19-2008

It's always interesting to see babies born on TV who are obviously 3 months old. And I have to laugh when I see someone who had open heart surgery that morning sitting up in bed chatting (Gray's just last week). I've been there and believe me, you look like you've been hit by a truck - and you're gray - really gray colored. My daughter almost fainted when she saw me, four hours post-op.

Sent by Marcia | 10:59 AM ET | 05-19-2008

What's weird is that sometimes when I'm watching a TV show with a character who has cancer, at first I DON'T think, "That's me." And then it hits me, and I'm shocked! Of course, it's a good thing that such portrayals are becoming more common. I do think the characters who have cancer are more realistically portrayed than in the past. And that has helped dispel the stigma and make others more comfortable. I think most people mean well, but they just don't know what to say or how to react to someone who has cancer.

Sent by Doris | 11:06 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Just back from beach and read your last Friday's message today. Stubborn is good, sometimes, Leroy, if you harness it in service of your highest interests without living in total denial. And today's phrase, "It turns the world upside down, shakes it hard, and then looks to see what's left" completely nails it. It IS good for us to talk about cancer and other life-shaking diagnoses with calm every-day voices. Helps other people recognize the presence of such challenges, and maybe will give them a person to think of if they ever hear such a diagnosis. They may think: they still had a life in the midst of cancer, maybe I don't have to panic completely; maybe I can have a life too... Your blog does that in many ways, by acknowledging the grim and painful and fearful sides, the loss of control at times, the unknowns, and by citing the daily experiences as they travel the path of vicissitude. And still, you convey such a wonderful inner amplitude, grace, integrity and wholeness. You and the blog community here are such a deep well in my days. I salute each of you, including others who like me more often read than comment. Wishing you all an extra dallop of grace today!

Sent by Sarah | 11:10 AM ET | 05-19-2008

I have paid attention to cancer since my grandparents both had colon cancer in the sixties. Back then no one talked about it . It was hush hush. Over the years my grandparents both had secondary cancers my grandfather lymphoma and my grandma brain cancer.
I had many friends with cancer those who lived and those who died.
It touched my life so deeply that I couldn't ignore it.
I have had it for almost 11 years the same type my Grandpa had and died from. However I never knew that till I my lymphoma returned the third time. My parents just couldn't tell me that nor can they till this day talk about it.
I have cancer that is shoved under the proverbial carpet. How can that be when its a big as that elephant we a all talk about it.
As for talking about it I do and that bugs many. But how can people learn if we don't say how it really is. Talking bring awareness to what we have and cancer in general. I am no victim nor is anyone here. We are humans with a disease.
You have helped so much Leroy. Just by talking and telling your story.
I can't be silent about it. Today is the anniversary being told my cancer was back for the third time. That was in 2001. So sitting back and not saying a word, being silent isn't my style either. I realize just how much treatment has changed since my grandfather had this disease twenty two years ago. I wouldn't be here if not for research.
When they talk about it on tv..sometimes it really does bug me. The are talking about all of us. I guess my thing is everywhere I go its not just tv. someone i know is dealing with cancer. Where its themselves or family or friends. Its like tossing a pebble in the water the ripples are so far reaching to so many.
Anyways I am off my soap box.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 11:19 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Well it was a rough weekend around here. Had some side effects to the radiation, very tired. I think it is a good thing that real disease and real situations are depicted more now than in the past. It keeps the need in a primary place of importance. More radiation today, maybe a conversation about the next step with Chemo. Would rather have a conversation about anything else. Take Care, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:35 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Leroy,

I too am glad that cancer is out of the closet. How terribly alone with their disease the last generation must have felt! How much healthier that the subject can now be dinner table conversation.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:37 AM ET | 05-19-2008

Today it seems as though speaking of cancer is less of a forbidden topic. It is still a conversation stopper at times, but it needs to be talked about to have any impact on curing this Beast, as you call it. Our family has lived with cancer world for most of my life and my most fervent prayer is that my grandchildren will live in a world where cancer has been conquered once and for all.

Sent by Barbara Langan | 12:13 PM ET | 05-19-2008

I was first diagnosed with cancer in 2002 - and went through treatment the same time as a character on my sister's favorite soap opera. Everytime we talked, I would hear about the trials and tribulations of this character, but was rarely asked about my own - which were not as pretty. Eventually, I was able to find humor in the situation and accept it as my sister's way of dealing (or not) with my disease. Despite that experience, I do believe that TV shows and movies that portray cancer have an opportunity to open up a line of communication. Therefore, it's important that their portrayals are authentic - otherwise, it's just exploitation.

Leroy - this blog is a much better resource for anyone interested in what it is like to live with cancer. Thank you for encouraging dialogue and for always telling it like it is.

Sent by Patte | 12:31 PM ET | 05-19-2008

It may be less forbidden, but it is still a stigma. In my experience, my boyfriend could not be supportive. I suppose he was frightened and was in denial. I ended the relationship. Now I ask as did Joni Mitchell "send me somebody who's strong and somewhat sincere." LOL Beautiful day!

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 12:56 PM ET | 05-19-2008

My husband has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and I have been amazed at the number of people who do not know what that is -like you Lori. On the other hand, the bond that I find with others who are similarly suffering is strong. I find it hard to watch televsion when a cancer patient is depicted, and my husband cannot watch at all. I really liked Lisa's Story on Funky Winkerbean - I thought it was handled very sensitively though I have to admit I could not read it without tears.

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 12:58 PM ET | 05-19-2008

May I say to Al Cato, a long time member of Leroy's Club, that I agree with his comments completely. I often do. There is a lot of wisdom in your followers Leroy and I enjoy other's opinions and experiences. As to Dianne , whose "boyfriend" could not handle it when she developed Cancer, I can only say that she is lucky he was only a "fairweather friend" and not a husband. When my breast was removed and I was afraid to even look at myself in the mirror for the first time when I was able to shower, my husband climbed in the tub with me, washed my chest down and made me look in the mirror at myself. Over twenty years later, the same husband still looks at me with my aging, scarred body and wrinkled face and professes his love for me still. Now Dianne, THAT is a man and you will find that they are out there. Don't be jaded by one Oaf who obviously was not capable of love.

Sent by J C R | 2:11 PM ET | 05-19-2008

Cancer does seem to be on TV - A LOT. Of course, it may also be that I am more aware of it, as I am a cancer survivor. It is also the reason I refuse to watch the news anymore and despite being a 38 year old, Internet professional/blog reader, I subscribe to the newspaper (which for most my age, is old school) Reading the newspaper lets me pick and choose if I care to hear the news of another celebrity, politician, or other seemingly newsworthy person who has been diagnosed with cancer. As a father of 2 young boys, I don't like to be interrupted with the news talking about cancer. While cancer experience is part of me, and I typically think about it everyday, there are times when I don't want it to be on my mind. That time is when I am sitting and watching TV. There is nothing worse than watching a favorite show to see someone diagnosed with cancer. Makes you remember that you also have been diagnosed. TV time is a time for me to forget this physically and mentally painful disease. So while it good thing that others are being reminded that the cancer is very real, it is also not such a good thing if you are using the TV to escape the thoughts of cancer.

Sent by Brian | 2:58 PM ET | 05-19-2008

sbcDear Sir,
First please know I wish you the best.
I'm responding to your entry about wanting to get well. My husband's and my dearest friend was stricken with a very agressive cancer in 2006. He (in my opinion) was treated with little concern by the medical profession and at the same time was in an extremely difficult marriage. As his strength waned, he decidedly no longer wanted to get better. He died in his sleep (probably due to an accidental or otherwise opiate overdose) on April 28, 2007. He would have been 52 on May 15th of that year. His loss may be the most profound that I have ever suffered.
I can't stress enough how gratifying it is to your friends and family that you want to get better.
The best of luck to you.

Sent by Dale Weatherly-Oster and Robert Oster | 4:37 PM ET | 05-19-2008

Today I was listening to the radio and I heard something that I have listened to before but never truly heard. It was Simon and Garfunkle's "Sounds of Silence" The line was... silent like a cancer grow... It means something completely different to me now that I have stage IV cancer. Where is it growing is always on my thoughts.

Sent by Mary C. | 7:21 PM ET | 05-19-2008

i know that the older i get the more aware i am and i think that i feel that not IF i get cancer but WHEN i get cancer. seeing it on television is tough - and it is all over the place. but, leroy, you are so so incredible - you make it NOT O.K. but you reach out - and thank G-d, I think many of us reach out to you also. Take care and G-d bless you.

Jan

Sent by janice goldberg white | 7:54 PM ET | 05-19-2008

Leroy,
I am late reading because my husband is in his 6th week of not being home. His chemo caused pulmonary emboli and now,eventhough, he's made a good recovery from that , his legs are jelly so to a rehab center (nursing home) for 2-3 weeks. You gotta love the drugs but when they turn on you watch out. I find the tv/cancer topic very difficult at times. Not because we don't discuss it but because of the insensitivities of writers. Is there any writer who has actually experienced this thing? I agree that we all have a heightened sense of awareness about this so we are more vulnerable to situations that portray cancer in a cavalier manner but I just want to scream "what were you thinking" sometimes. Sometimes even bad publicity is helpful I suppose but tv needs a lot of education in the cancer. Leroy, you must have a terrific rolodex so take on the mission. I am so hoping your show will air again as I have never seen it but hear it was tops!! God Bless to all.

Sent by Kathie | 8:32 PM ET | 05-19-2008

Ain't that the truth Leroy - 'not cancer normal' - funny how cancer patience all talk about the 'new normal' and we totally understand eachother.

Hugs my friend

Carrie
cbelair.wordpress.com

Sent by carrie Belair | 11:11 PM ET | 05-19-2008

Dear Leroy,
People like you help bring us all up a notch. You set a great example of how we can look at things positively in the face of adversity. Thank you for that.
Love, Jennifer

Sent by Jennifer in CA | 12:51 AM ET | 05-20-2008

Good evening Leroy,
They say TV reflects real life and I think they do try to normalize Cancer. That's a good thing since so many have it or have family members who have it. I was at a Dog Show this weekend while waiting my turn, the conversation turned to Cancer. One of the "dog people" is losing her husband to cancer. It is everywhere in ourselves and in our dogs sadly. I am greatful to be able to read your daily blog, it reminds me of my vunerability and at the same time my strength. My second anaversary is in a couple of weeks. I'm not sure what to feel anymore. Thanks to you Leroy.......Lynda

Sent by Lymda Spangler | 1:12 AM ET | 05-20-2008

It seems to me that since I got cancer, I seem to hear about a lot of people getting it. Within 12 months both myself and my BIL have lung cancer. I am in remission and he is 80% into remission.

I think your program was excellent in portraying your story and treatment, especially getting the chemo - I went through the whole thing alone with no one to help me or be with me since family lives so far away - and it was nice to be able to have them see your show on how chemo was administered, etc. I really think Ted's program need to be re-run more often.

Sent by Maureen Kennedy | 1:19 AM ET | 05-20-2008