Cancer "talk" does seem to be all around lately. Last night I saw on my local news station that children with cancer are more likely in the northeast and so are the most cures for childhood cancer. Why are there more childhood cancers in the northeast? I want some research to figure that out, and to figure out why we get cancer in the first place. Is it the water? the air? the food? all of the above? Sure, a cure for cancer would be a miracle but what about stopping the disease before it hits us? now that would be amazing!

Sent by Jenn | 7:23 AM ET | 06-03-2008

It would be something to wake up to a cure. Then again I always think, hope and pray, that by the time my children (young adults) are older..there will be a cure and cancer doesn't take anyone. No more of this "buying time" life. I have no doubt it will happen, but when? No more fine lines staying we are aways out yet! We don't want to hear it.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:26 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Leroy,

If only.

On my end, this is a totally down day. My mom goes in for her 3 month check-up, for stage IV uterine cancer, and her symptoms right now have me totally worried. (and sad. and mad.) Grief.
But she will not talk about it. No one can really be there for her. Everyone around her is shut out, and when we try to tell her we are here for her, she says, "I don't want to talk about it." So, what do I do?

K.

Sent by K. | 7:32 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Oh yes Leroy. there should have been a CURE of at least one type of Cancer by now. How much money do you suppose has been donated and allocated over all these years and how many and how hard have they really tried? Look at the price of drugs? Like gas - who is getting rich? How many more have to die? Treatments haven't changed that much over the past 70 years. Wherever possible, I opt for surgery. I believe in "cutting it out" when possible ,although they are becoming more reluctant to use surgical procedures. Medicare has cut back on what they will pay for. Nice, eh? Leroy, you and Laurie have a nice day. Sounds like you are back to your ole, fighting self once again.

Sent by J C R | 7:39 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Every day, my prayer(like everyone's) is that a cure will be found. I can only hope that it is found sooner than later and we all can benefit from it. Until then, we can all daydream this wonderful dream. With care.

Sent by anne lumberger | 7:41 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Please please please remember that the cancer world has come a long way.

I found out this week that when my grandmother got sick in 1968 they didn't even bother telling her the diagnosis since there was no treatment for pancreatic cancer.

In 1985 when my brother was sick he "ran out" of treatment options after only a year, even though he was able to try several experimental drugs.

And for my Mom who survived her initial "time line" by 4 years, this blog would have been such a good thing for her. She needed something to break through her feelings of isolation, frustration and (I guess) shame. She needed to hear your voices.

I wish there were a cure. But there definitely IS improvement.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:48 AM ET | 06-03-2008

It would indeed be something, Leroy. Something wonderful!

I'm so intrigued by the Gardasil vaccine for prevention of cancer caused by the human papilloma virus. I hope there will be more findings like this one. It doesn't seem like it took all that long for the studies to turn into a vaccine that is now on the market.

But for now, I hope--for you and for everyone who is on the cancer path.

Sent by Celeste | 7:59 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Oh Leroy,

If only our government and politicians would spend money on research and advancements instead of giving themselves pay raises and funding causes of less importance that would be great.

I think, at times, finding a cure or furthering research is NOT a priority.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:11 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Leroy,
Once again I feel like you have been inside my head. We are waiting for a therapist to come to the house since the insurance company decided my husband didn't need anymore inpatient care and could get what he needed at home. Nevermind what it does to my back since I have to use a mechanical lift and give bed baths and haul oxygen tanks. I know the current media interest is due to Sen. Kennedy but like so many things it will burn white hot and then out. My daughters are very involved in Relay for Life and I am on the team but I am so involved in my husband's care and trying to keep my job going that I have taken a backseat. I think my attitude is in poor shape at the moment because we all work hard to support fundraising events to raise money for cancer research only to be told that, as you say, a cure is still years away. I want to know why so many other things can be cured or all the marvelous mechanical inventions have occurred and not a lot of progress has been made in curing cancer. I just think they are putting too much effort into the band aid and not the cause. God bless all of us.

Sent by kathie | 8:20 AM ET | 06-03-2008

K - I would say to you - just be there for your Mom. One day she might want to talk about her cancer and then you can listen to her and let her know that you support her and will listen anytime she feels then need to talk.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 8:51 AM ET | 06-03-2008

That would be something. We have come to notice that so many folks we hear about that are diagnosed with cancer have no symptoms until it's too late! I don't get it. Are we too busy to pay attention to our own bodies? Is cancer that elusive anymore? I would have liked to have known about the convention in Chicago. Unfortunately I don't watch much TV so I did not hear about it to hear the outcome.

Doctors do the best they can. My husband asked our son's doctor if our son was the president would he be getting any different treatment? The doctor admitted that he probably would. Ted Kennedy has the money and power to seek the best of the best not only for himself but for his daughter. Are there levels of care for different financial classes of people? Somehow Americans really need to come together. When it comes right down to it we all have difficulties in life and wouldn't it be nice if we all had the same resources?

Thanks again Leroy. You are a good listener {;0)

God bless you.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 9:12 AM ET | 06-03-2008

K, don't stop trying...
just keep holding her close!
I wish I could say more, right now I am in my own funk, Neil has been gone for 6 months and my best friend is in hospice and it all just sucks! And it still hurts! Today the tears just want to flow, not just for Neil but for all of those with this awful disease! Don't give up.....

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 9:22 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Although the possibility of early diagnosis and the improved treatment methods today are far more encouraging in the treatment of cancer than they were even a decade ago, the reality of life with cancer as the enemy is still daunting.

Many thanks to Leroy for providing this forum as a "safe place" for sharing those battles.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 9:23 AM ET | 06-03-2008

K,

I second what Deb says. Just being available for doctor visits, gently checking to see if your Mom needs some things done--these simple things leave the door open, if your Mom chooses to let you in.

Educate yourself about her disease. When a dear friend of mine developed leukemia, I read lots, but found the patient-centered books very helpful--they gave me lots of ideas to think about, which gave me ways to talk (gently) about what she was going thorugh. Eventually she did open up.

And take care of yourself, too. Very hard to remember to do in your situation, but it will help you help your Mom in whatever way you can.

Sent by Carol from Michigan | 9:25 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Dr. David Nathan's book "The Cancer Treatment Revolution" would seem topic relevant. The advances sighted for childhood leukemia treatment may give prospective for how time eventually yields hope. Someday science might mediate cancer into a managed annoyance illness and, for me, that would be close enough to a cure.

http://www.dana-farber.org/abo/news/the-cancer-treatment-revolution/

Hold Fast

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 9:31 AM ET | 06-03-2008

K - one thing I have definitely learned from reading this blog is that everyone deals with cancer in their own way, both patients and caregivers, and right now it sounds like you mom just can't handle facing it head on. That must be really hard on you - it's tougher than most people realize to be a caregiver - but I agree with Deb, all you can do is be there for your mom, and she'll open up when she's ready.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 9:34 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Good morning, Leroy. I think it will happen. The cure will be found. But it's still a ways down the road. Meanwhile, the cycle of life continues.

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:37 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Leroy: No cure for me. I've been battleing Ovarian cancer for three years. Yesterday I flunked Chemo I had a severe reaction (2nd time) it takes for ever to come back around. Pretty scary. My body says no more. Ive experenced many different kinds of chem these last two years and it does make you sick. It might be nice to have some quality days while I wait on my mircle cure pill. You don't hear much about ovarian cancer so sad.

Sent by diana from kc | 9:43 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Yeah, I want a cure -- but no, I don't really expect a breakthrough that will come in time to save my life. However, I do believe that I've benefitted from research -- taking a "new" drug (Herceptin) will probably give me more time before recurrence. And there are already a couple of other new drugs that have been brought out since my diagnosis that may give me still more time when Herceptin quits working. That's not a cure, but it's progress. A friend was diagnosed with leukemia this year -- her prognosis is quite good. In the past, it would not have been. Maybe drug companies are bad guys (I don't really know) but I believe there are many individual researchers out there who are desperately seeking a cure -- or many different cures for different cancers -- and I am so thankful for the work they do and their accomplishments.

Sent by Doris | 9:48 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Hi K - my mom acted the same way when she was going through chemo. she had always been a dominant decision maker and the prime caretaker in my family that i think she was very uncomfortable and depressed when finding herself in a vulnerable place. we fought so much during her treatment for this reason. i think doing everything you can to prove that she is not a burden, which she might silently feel like she is to you, and showing her you are a team is the most important thing. It's not easy if she is resisting, but always remember any negativity or shut-out you are experiencing from her is not a personal reflection on you, it is because your mom feels uncomfortable needing you so much.

Sent by liz | 10:02 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Leroy and all -
I expect it's going to be cures rather than a single cure. Meanwhile, there are many of the nonmedical side effects we can take action to help cure: among them:
The often bankrupting, home-threatening and outright cruel costs of medications.
The damage to relationships, families and future hopes these often cause.
The ingorance of eneducated doctors that unnecessarily condemn many of us to death, unnecessary uncertainty and premature hopelessness, helping to destroy the quality of the lives we do have. My thunb is up and my finger is in the air simultaneously.

I wish and pray that all of you enjoy the same quality of life that I currently do. I know it's a privilege and I am grateful for it

Via Con Dios

John Shippee

Sent by John Shippee | 10:23 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Hi Leroy,
What good thinking and writing today. I heard when I was a child that there WOULD NOT BE A CURE for cancer - it was too much of a money maker for everyone in the medical community. I CHOSE NOT TO BELIEVE THAT - hey, I was young and innocent. I do believe that doctors care and the technicians care - but in the whole realm of everything I just don't have the positive vibes that I had when I was younger. Today I am going to work for a Radio Day (fundraising day) for High Peaks Hospice, up here in the Adirondacks. We were told in training that NOT ALL of our patients were cancer patients - there are other diseases; and of course, there are, BUT, the largest percentage of our hospice patients is NOT surprisingly cancer. And I think that there is more talk than anything else. YES, of course there is much more acceptance and NO shame - but THE CURE - we need that and not so much talk.

K-G-d bless you and may he give you the strength that you need to BE THERE FOR YOUR MOTHER. She needs you and knows that she can not talk or be as loving as she usually is - she is bound to be angry also. You take care of you and do what you feel is best for your Mom.

Take care to all of us and may G-d give us the strength to put that one foot in front of the other and go.

Love, Jan White

Sent by janice goldberg white | 10:27 AM ET | 06-03-2008

In reading about the new trials for melanoma, they all seem so logical in their approach to attacking and weakening the melanoma cells to make them susceptible to chemo or radiation, etc. The enigma remains after the trial is concluded because so few patients respond. There are really smart people working on this. They seem to try every permutation and combination that can be conceived but so few respond. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that some do respond. Why is it that what works for you will not or doesn't work for me even though we have melanoma? If this riddle can be solved, perhaps we can talk about a cure!

For now, we must all continue to try the various drugs and treatments to hopefully stumble upon the one that will work for us. That's the best we have for now.

Blessings and prayers as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 10:29 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Dear Leroy,
That would be my "Dream come true". As a caregiver, that is in the top 10 of my greatest wishes. I hope in my lifetime I will get to see the CURE for cancer. Hope your day is great.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:31 AM ET | 06-03-2008

I'm here to offer another perspective as a cancer researcher.

Although cancer is often referred to in the media as a single disease, all types of cancer are different. Responses to a treatment that offers some benefit against one type of cancer are not effective against all types. Additionally, we are still learning to understand the cellular mechanics of different types of cancer- issues such as how cancer cells recruit other support cells (e.g. getting blood vessels to grow where they would not normally to supply energy to the cancer cells). A lot of money has been spent, but the research is very expensive to do considering that there over hundreds of types of cancer (though under 100 'common' types).

Sent by Paul | 10:49 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Yeah - it's something I dream about everyday....that WOULD be something. Visiting the oncologist and having him say "we have a new treatment that will cure you...." I even talked myself into a clinical trial that I was SURE was my cure - when faced with the facts I realized it was another "step" in the right direction, but not my cure.

Until then, life is good.

Sent by Anita Apodaca | 10:56 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Last June, the doctors told us that David was cured of his Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Two months later, they found a tumour on the third cranial nerve behind his eye. He is now recovering from aggressive chemotherapy, a stem cell transplant and radiation. The latest PET scan shows no cancer activity but we are now too apprehensive to feel confident. I don't know if we ever can dare to feel we are "cured" of cancer. It is an insidious disease.
K. - everyone is right when they say to just be there for your mother. My husband goes through times of not talking about his cancer and it hurts when I see and feel him withdraw into himself. It's their way of dealing with the pain and stress and I am learning to silently support him during those times.
Sasha - how are you today? I'm thinking of you.

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 10:56 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, It would indeed be a wonderful morning to hear that a cure for cancer was waiting at the hospital!! It is a sweet dream that may someday be a reality. Until that day, we will continue on the path that you light for us each day with your blog.

Laurie, I hope that someday soon you and Leroy will be able to slip into that dream. If the progression of Leroy's cancer can be stopped, then maybe ours can be too. It is a dream to hold on to!

To K, I too am fighting stage 4 uterine cancer and it is a lonely and isolating disease. There is so little information about it and very little in the way of support groups. The most you can do is to be there for your Mom and take your cues from what she wants to talk about. You can gain some information from articles on the internet. But watch the source and date of the information, many are out of date. But just knowing you are there will be a great source of comfort to your Mom, even if she doesn't really show it. Please keep us up to date on how you are doing. God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 10:57 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Leroy, The cure thing is always in the back of my mind. I catch myself, on the good days, thinking like I did back then. This then lets you work too long, and get sick as hell for the effort. A cure would be nice, but more normal would be good for now. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 10:58 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Dear Mr. Sievers,

You are such an extremely gifted writer. You are able to put into words exactly what a lot of us feel (or have felt) but most of us don't have the word skills to put them on paper. I am amazed each day when I read your entry. I'm not sure the way you write can be taught, you just put your heart on the page, that is truly a gift God has given you.

Nine years ago I had a forequarter amputation of my right arm due to a malignant tumor, so I can relate to a few of your challenges. Your optimistic attitude, your sense of humor and your transparency are so heartfelt and very inspiring. You are so right about the importance of the support we receive from our loved ones. My husband, my friends and my church family all played such a critical part in my recovery. I can't imagine being abandoned by any of them. That would be most difficult and so counterproductive to the healing process.

After many years of "doing things my way" it became clear to me life was too hard to handle on my own, I needed help. Long story short, I made the decision to give my life to the Lord and let Him lead. He has been on this journey with me every step of the way. He is always there to call on 24/7. He is the source of my strength, an everlasting Father, a sure shelter and the solid Rock I lean on. It's a life long process to be sure, I'm always learning along the way.

I am wondering if you have my given your life to the Lord Jesus Christ? I cannot be sure by reading your blog, although you do show an amazing amount of inner strength. In case you haven't made that decision, I pray the Lord will reveal Himself to you in a way that only He can do. If you seek Him you will surely find Him.

May God Bless You,

Linda Hughes from Kirkland, WA
http://www.toysrbob.com/onearm/

Sent by Linda Hughes | 11:12 AM ET | 06-03-2008

I agree w/John S. that it will not be a one momentous cure, but a chipping away with many different "cures" or treatments. I think it is much more likely that for a long time they will come up with more treatments to treat it is a chronic disease. But a cure isn't going to happen in our lifetime unless 1)much more money is put into research and 2) the way they conduct clinical trials for cancer is changed. The way they are conducted now it takes forever because they have to do 3 levels of trials even when they are duplicating prior research. Why do trials on safety when a drug has been used safely before?
Researchers also are reluctant to share information though that is changing.

I'd love a cure, but I'll take anything they can throw my way!
Marcia

Sent by Marcia | 11:18 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Good morning Leroy. Great post. I have been reading thru the replies and I am convinced that it is the environment/food etc that is causing cancer. I have recently gone organic, do not know if it will help but when I read that there were 49 different kinds of pesticided found on one peach then give me a break, that is just not right.

My sister died 2 years ago from Non Hodgkins. I went back to the small hospital in Scotland that first treated her to give a donation for a sleeper sofa for friends and family to stay over. I spoke to the head guy on the ward she was on and got the chance to ask him all sorts of questions. He told me that there were at least 3 major new drugs coming down the pike and that they would revolutionise the cure for cancer. By his estimation they should be hitting the market any time now.

Oh that you could just go for a shot and it would be gone. I think though that cancer generates too much money and a lot of what is raised for cancer, I am convinced goes for other things. When you look at all the fundraising that goes on every day all over the world and the amount of money that is pumped into research, shouldn't we have had a cure by now?
Peace to you Leroy and to everyone else out there who may get distressing news today. I had an all clear mammo result yesterday and I thanked God for that.

Sent by fay | 11:23 AM ET | 06-03-2008

Good Morning, Leroy --

I'll see your wish for a cure and raise you one twisted, anxious scenario more: The "cure" is found but only a handful of centers have the treatment because it is so new. As there are so many of us who need the therapy, I am put on a waiting list that has me scheduled to receive my cure in three years. And I die waiting.

Seriously. That's how warped my mind is. Perhaps it's the repeated brain mets. Or, the eight years of chemo. Whatever -- I'ma hoping anyway!

Be well all! I hope I didn't freak anyone out. My coping mechanisms are just that dark.

Sent by Tracy | 11:47 AM ET | 06-03-2008

i don't agree when i see a lot of people commenting to these blogs and saying that cancer treatment hasn't changed in the past X number of years. it may not have changed for all types of cancer, but every cancer is different, and every treatment is different. myeloma for instance - 15 years ago it would've been a COMPLETELY different thing to be diagnosed with myeloma. most of the current treatments were unknown at that time. they've discovered so much in terms of medications and stem cell research, which has really revolutionised myeloma treatment. things do change. slowly but surely, cures will come.

Sent by someone from canada | 11:49 AM ET | 06-03-2008

K

I feel for you. My husband died of prostate cancer and was the same way. One day I was crying upstairs. He heard me and asked why I was unhappy. I said I didn't think I could bear this. He said if you can't how can I? I had my answer to what to do. Nothing. That was really hard, but I thought I should follow his lead.It was his way and, for the remaining months of his life, we had some good times. I know he didn't want to "burden" me, but deception isn't my nature, so it was very difficult. Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:55 AM ET | 06-03-2008

I got a good chuckle out of your hopeful newspaper line,"Get down to the hospital right away because a cure is ready and waiting" Wouldn't that be awesome! Advancements are being made daily but let's all keep pushing hard for more research!! I have hope!
K- maybe your mom's oncologist or nurse can offer some helpful suggestions. I have heard of some caregivers in your situation seeking counseling. Take care of yourself, bless you.

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 12:04 PM ET | 06-03-2008

K, I have a slightly different take on your mothers' current way of dealing with her cancer. I'm thinking that she may be very depressed, and might benefit from some therapy and possibly anti-depressants. Many cancer centers offer therapists, social workers, psychologists and/or psychiatrists to help patients and their families learn to cope with this awful position of having cancer, and having a loved one with cancer. Pushing the fears and feelings down and not talking about it often leads to a crisis....something that pushes one over the edge and to a place where it can no longer be pushed down. Perhaps you could check into the resources available to your mother, and then present them to her, and offer to take her there when she's ready. There are also chat rooms online where she may be able to safely ventilate what she's not ready to share with her family. I wish you both peace.

Sent by Nancy K Clark | 12:16 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Sue Chap, I agree with you. I would like to add "Stop spending money on this war in Iraq!!!

Love,
Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty K. Lewis | 12:45 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Sure, I'd like a cure too! But I have a rare, intrahepetic bile duct cancer, and so far no one seems to think anything much can be done. I've taken numerous forms of chemo, but all the literature says chemo doesn't work. I read about so many others, even with this type cancer who get liver re-sections, transplants, all sorts of other treatments, and to be honest, I'm JEALOUS! I was diagnosed last August and frankly they didn't think I'd be around at this point, and I feel like no one really feels motivated to do anything. I finally got a new Oncologist who I meet this Thursday. I am HOPING that he'll have a more positive attitude. Why don't I have a "team" that is fighting for me?

Sent by PattiB | 12:51 PM ET | 06-03-2008

I dream about a cure sometimes. when I wake up and it isn't here yet, I cry.

Sent by AlaskaDeb | 1:02 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Dear Leroy,
We were informed yesterday that my husband cannot take anymore chemotherapy. My husband told me this morning that after the oncologist told him this yesterday, he felt a sense of freedom. I don't quite understand what this means. Is he giving up?

Prayers to all.

Sent by sasha321 | 1:10 PM ET | 06-03-2008

The thought of finding a cure for cancers is an indescribable wonderful thought. Then I could stop being fearful for my nieces who have me and and an aunt from their mother's family to thank for an increased risk for breast cancer. And that's only one "category" of cancer.

I am eternally grateful to the researchers who have made such wonderful progress over time. In the early 1960s, my aunt had a "radical mastectomy" including the removal of chest muscle and cobalt treatments (horrible compared to today's radiation no matter what we think, and none of us "wants" radiation therapy). Don't even know what chemotherapy consisted of at that time.

By the time it was "my turn", there were lumpectomy, lymph node dissection, radiation, AND chemo. And since then, the centinal node surgery has been introduced - less invasive surgery when possible is a great advancement.

And I am sure that I owe my long-term survival to those who discovered and did the trials for stem cell transplantation (for multiple myeloma).

My point is that there is never a good time to be in cancer world, and who in their right mind wants to be there at all. Knowing there are researchers out there who continue to make progress gives me hope.

My best to all. Leroy and Laurie, thank you still and again!

Sent by Judie in CT | 1:29 PM ET | 06-03-2008

My current oncologist is the top doctor specializing in breast cancer at our reasearch center. I am grateful to her, and to others like her, who are dedicating their careers to finding a cure. But they won't be able to do it without more support.

In 1971, President Nixon called for a total national commitment to achieve the goal of conquering cancer. Where is that commitment now? Can we hope for a cure before we reach the 30-year mark?

Or must we continue to expect those living with cancer, for whom it often takes every ounce of strength just to make it through each day, to rally their friends and families to race around a park in order to raise funds for the research that will save our lives?

Sent by Patte | 2:10 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Afternoon Leroy! That was a great post. I believe that my stage 0/1 breast cancer would not have been detected so early only 10 years ago. I owe it to the radiologist who didn't like the looks of some microcalcifications and sent me to a surgeon for a biopsy. Last week my oncologist used the "c" word as in "when we catch this early we can cure it." I am not so sure, but with the treatment regimen I have been through and am doing the odds are in my favor.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 2:15 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Sasha:
It could be a lot of things:
1. Relief at not having to endure anymore nasty chemo,
2. Relief at having an end to at least one possible course of treatments,
3. Acceptance of what is, and what is to come.
Since your husband was willing to tell you how he felt, I would hope he is willing to expand on his thoughts. Whatever he means by that statement I'm sure that you will support him with everything you've got.
Love, Don

Sent by don winslow | 6:08 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Sasha, My heart is breaking for you and your family. I don't think your husband is giving up--just trying to face reality. My husband once told me "everybody wants to live as long as possible" when facing another option. But when he learned his options had run out, he seemed to handle that much better than I. I think maybe they go through so much, there comes a time when "just let me rest" sounds good.
Just continue to love him and let him know that you will be OK. That is what mine worried about--me. Now, I have been so alone for 14 months but he can rest peacefully--I hope he knows that I am OK, doing as well as I can ever expect to.

Laurie Hirth--I ache for you. Today has not been a very good day for me either--so "alone" with people all around me.

Tina, So proud of your news today--David CAN be one of the few that stays cancer-free. Take one day at a time--my prayers are with you.

Leroy, I check each day for news of your day but that always leads me to Laurie, Tina, Sasha, Nikki and all the other "wives" out there fighting this MONSTER.

Jane

Sent by Jane | 7:15 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Leroy and friends,
We can take hope in the fact that good work is helping us of us in cancer world, even if a cure is not on the immediate horizon. We are all far more than our disease. Sharing our experiences in groups and on this wonderful blog is an immense part of the recovery process ! I don't post comments daily as I did when I was undergoing treatment, but I do read your responses and keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
Leroy, thanks for your diligence in expressing many different ideas for all of us so eloquently. I often say to people that "I take my successes in small doses". May each of you have some good things happen while we all wait for the ultimate cure.

Sent by Lou L. | 9:29 PM ET | 06-03-2008

K- My mom reacted similarly during her battle with cancer. It hurt me so much; I wanted to be an advocate for her but she wanted to shut me out, I guess trying to protect me. I was living some distance from home but visited as much as could, spending weeks at a time during the more difficult times. She always told me it wasn't necessary to come, in fact I wasn't ever sure she was pleased to see me. But I held my ground, I couldn't NOT be there for her, even if I was just providing some diversion.

Hang in there, you are doing everything you can do. Just your presence is sufficient, even if your mom doesn't seem to want it. And keep coming back here to the blog...you will find what you need here, I promise. Leroy and friends will say the things that need to be said and you need to hear...and you may find comfort in these words. I know I have....

Sent by Faun | 9:39 PM ET | 06-03-2008

Sasha: I don't believe that your husband is giving up just because he feels free by stopping chemo. I think he has just decided to try a new way of handling things. Believe it or not, I have a friend who chose to stop chemo and she feels so much better. No, she isn't going to be cured by stopping, but continuing chemo isn't going to cure her either, so "feeling better" has given her freedom from all the side effect and that can't be all bad.

Thirteen years ago, my Mother had a stroke and almost had major brain surgery (experimental although we didn't know how experimental at the time) She agreed to do it because we kids didn't want to lose her. The night before the surgery, she quietly said to me "somehow, I think we are interfering with God's plans".

At the time I thought it was a rather odd statement, but the next morning, the doctors reported her MRI showed that she wasn't a good candidate for the surgery and it was cancelled. Today, she is still alive at 95 and has had thirteen years of great living. She is, however, suffering from dementia...a whole other disease that needs a cure.

I tell you this, Sasha, only because we don't know completely what is in store for us. My faith in "God's plan" is pretty thin right now, but in the end, stopping chemo, especially since his doctors say he hasn't a choice, may be a small blessing in a big sea of pain. Don't question if it is right or wrong...just let it go as it goes. As long as your husband is still here, he isn't giving up, just changing tactics. You'll never know what it would have been like had he continued chemo...maybe even something worse.

My prayers for you and all.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 10:02 PM ET | 06-03-2008

okay i just read an article about kanzius rf cancer treatment being studied at md anderson and the university of pittsburg they are going to show a special on 60 mins this sunday about it.

Sent by Kim p | 3:35 PM ET | 06-04-2008

Cancer, in my humble opinion, is a big business in the U.S. Why aren't they spending money on prevention (stop the nuclear power plants, cell phone dangers, pollution) rather than the symptom - cancer. They can't - it would put them out of business.

It's interesting that in other countries, treatment is often less harmful. On a website I encountered for cancer treatment you'd click on one if you were in the U.S. and it gave the usual treatments here. The other suggested something like fish oil (non-U.S.).

My Mom died from lung cancer in seven months of taking chemo. I didn't recognize what had become of her except the nose (I inherited that :) ).

My Dad just passed away after living about six years beyond the prediction by initially going a non-U.S. route. He had stage 4 throat cancer. I believe at the end, he was desperate last year and quickly went to an institution in CA from NYC (in four days) where they promised "unconventional" new treatment. The site (I knew) was an ad. The small print said they used less radiation (the smaller print said 20% less radiation). I knew that would kill him. His teeth were already crumbling from radiation, which he later received some time after the unconventional treatment. The new cancer institute sent him home quickly telling him he needed to think about "quality of life." My feeling was they knew their treatments were terrible and Dad was near the end of his life, so they wrapped him up and sent him back. When he returned home, he weakly said, "I made a mistake." A month later on 5/16, he was gone. The U.S. treatment took away MY right to be with my Dad with false promises.

Since this will be edited, please look at VCI in LA. The promised treatment - heating the tumor. He may have been cancer free but the cost was his life. How long would he have lived at home? I don't know but he was FAR WORSE OFF when he came home than when he went. That's why stars (Farrah and others who can afford it) leave the U.S.

Sent by Sheri Dennis | 12:22 PM ET | 06-05-2008

happy b'day m8 from uk. didn't think you were so elderly! we'd have taken more care of you in khafji !! long long time ago !

Sent by andy thompson | 12:07 PM ET | 06-16-2008

Leroy - I read your blog and think I will send you a comment often but decided today was the day. Thank you for reaching your 53rd birthday and sharing your life with us...now go eat icing!!!

Sent by paula recchia | 4:25 PM ET | 06-16-2008