As a friend, confidant, and someone willing to volunteer my time for others and the causes that I believe in. I'd also like to be remembered as a mom who did my best in raising a responsible and respectful son.

You will be remembered for the journalistic work and more importantly this blog.

Sent by Marie in Minneapolis | 8:16 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy,

Wow, who hasn't thought about this? Kinda wanting to be a fly on the wall at your own funeral,ya know? What will people say? I hope that I was a good person,a good friend, sister, mom. That I went through my bout with cancer with grace and a sick sense of humor.

Lianne

Sent by LianneFriedman | 8:17 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Personaly, I would like to be remembered as a good father, grandfather, a husband that loved his wife unconditionally, someone that did his best to provide for his family and ensure that the ones coming after him were beter off than he. When people mention me for that short period of time after you're gone they would say he was a good person and tried to do the right thing. What else can you ask for?

Sent by Terrell W in Bay City Tx | 8:22 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, as always you poise simple yet powerful questions. When I am gone I want to be remembered here as a good and faithful servant.

But more important than how I'm viewed on earth is how I'm viewed in Heaven. Which is why the only words I want to hear when I get there is, "Well done, my good and faithful servant". It's the only performance review that matters.

Sent by Rob in Westport | 8:26 AM ET | 06-24-2008

How will we be remembered? I just wrote my mother's obituary; she died two days ago from cancer. It wasn't her education or her employment history that we will remember, it was her heart of gold and the gracious gifts of kindness that she bestowed upon others that we will cherish. Leroy, I have a feeling you will be remembered for those same qualities. God be with you and your family during this time.

Sent by Laurie Starr, Granger, Indiana | 8:28 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Good morning Leroy,
How to be remembered? I would like to be remembered as kind, genuine, a good mother, someone who cared about people and tried her best to make the world a better world for the people around her - not real lofty or earth shattering but something I can get my arms around and do in every interaction, every day.
Thinking of you. Hugs and warm fuzzies

Sent by Annette | 8:32 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Hi Leroy,

I haven't posted since your disease exploded, but think of you several times daily, aside from reading the blog FIRST think every morning at work. You have united worldwide humanity in an intimate and powerful way, and helped me immeasurably in my day to day acceptance of life and inevitable passing to the next realm of eternity. You have given and continue to give your true self to your fellow humans with unabashed truth and humility and inspire me to do the same in my littler life.

Great question today...I hope to be remembered as loved and loving, kind, caring and funny. Blessings - Leslie

Sent by Leslie Erickson | 8:33 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Oh my, I have never thought of how I would like to be remembered. I suppose I would like to think that physicians and nurses that I have worked with over the years would say I was an excellent surgical nurse, always at the top. As a teacher, teaching surgical technology, I would like to think that the graduates that I have opened a new life for would say I enjoyed what I did, I was passionate about being in surgery.

Close friends who know of the struggle to help my sister when she was diagnosed with cancer, she may have died would say I was an awesome sister.

My dad would say (if he were here)I was a great daughter, who put family first.

My beau/fiance` would say I taught him how to play, enjoyed cooking, and loved to many things which didn't cost a lot of money. I loved to travel and being near water or nature made me the happiest, and I loved him.

I was a strong person, and not always silent as an advocate.

With a tear building up, I am out of here for the day, Leroy.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:34 AM ET | 06-24-2008

It's just nice to be remembered. The reasons aren't that important to me. Hopefully they're all good.
Before my son's friend died, he wrote in his last year book "please don't ever forget me...you're friend, Matt".
I think that says it all.....

As long as my son remembers me as the mother who loved him with all her heart, that's all I care about.

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 8:37 AM ET | 06-24-2008

You will always be remembered by your family and friends. That's everyone's greatest legacy, the beauty in that is no matter how humble the life, the impact is the same.
Then there are individual accomplishments. This dialogue with the world when you were hit with the worst news will certainly be one of yours.
That being said, I love the Blood, Sweat and Tears song which goes:
"And when I die, and when I'm gone, there'll be one child born in this world to carry on."
I want that song played for me. Love Babs

Sent by Babs | 8:39 AM ET | 06-24-2008

As a loving husband, father and friend who served others by letting his life's actions speak, not his words. Last - as a tenacious fighter who never let a challenge get in the way of living life to its best.

Sent by Glenn Gleason | 8:45 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy,

I hope to be able to touch/influence at least one person as positively and dramatically as you have touched and influenced so many of us. And when faced with the dark things in life- I sure hope I am able to deal with them with a portion of the grace, wisdom, and honesty you have shown us. Leading by example. What you have done is beyond description. What an amazing person you must be.

I have been following your blog for about a 1 1/2 years now. I do not have cancer but have lost 4 people to the beast. Your insights and honest/open approach has been more help than I think you can realize. I know my approach in dealing with my loved ones, their illness, and eventual death has been changed in ways I will never truly appreciate due to what I have learned from you.

I know you have heard this before- but it seems you are a friend. One of the first things I do every morning is check in on you. You have provided so many morning laughs & yes sometimes tears. I think of you daily and wish I knew you better. Sharing a cheesesteak somewhere would be great.

Thanks for all you do.

Angela

Sent by Angela | 8:46 AM ET | 06-24-2008

That's something I've been asking myself. Here, there are these Iraqi families that are in such great need. They have come over here with only a few clothes and nothing else. We are finding them homes, and everything they need. One woman has breast cancer, she was 28 when she found out, nd is now 30. She has two small girls, lost her husband to the war, and had a mastectomy a month ago, she still needs treatment. These people are all so kind and open, they came with nothing and are so grateful to be here. What they have gone through in the years that it took them to get here is unimaginable. I can help them with my time and money. I can't change the war but I can help them. If I died tomorrow, I would with the feeling that I had done something good with my life.

Sent by Elisabeth Dyer | 8:47 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy,
I think everyone leaves a mark on the world from the day that they are born. A person doesn't have to do anything exceptional for people to take notice and appreciate them. The marks that even a quiet person makes are more far-reaching than they can even imagine. I want to be remembered for my kindness, for being a good listener, for giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and for being a good mother, grandmother, sister and friend. Leroy, it is apparent to all who read this blog, that you don't have to worry about having made a mark on the world. No one will ever forget you.

Sent by Elaine | 8:47 AM ET | 06-24-2008

What a great juicy question. I want to leave the world a better place than I found it. I want the people I love to feel like their lives were better because I was there.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 8:51 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear people in Liz's world:

Please remember good times we have had together. Please remember me as an intelligent, vibrant woman. Please remember me as a good mother, wife, daughter, relative and friend.

Please don't dwell on times when I was angry, frustrated or sad. (There were those too!).

Remember how I loved you. Cyber-buddies too!

And, yes, please miss me when I am gone, but even better: spend time with me while I am here.

Off to get fresh bread for breakfast. Please remember that I did things like that.

Sent by Liz L. | 8:52 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Good question. I have asked myself that as well. I guess at 50 you start asking yourself those questions.

I would like to be remembered as a kind and caring person. Nothing profound. Just to be remembered with love would be nice.

You on the other hand my friend will be not only remembered but revered for the hand you held out to so many not only in their time of need but during what I would think is the most challenging time of your life. For that you will never be forgotten.

How do you want to be remembered Leroy?

God bless you.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:54 AM ET | 06-24-2008

That I gave/did all I could and more for my children. GodSpeed Leroy!

Sent by sarah | 8:55 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I only want my loved ones and friends to think of me once in awhile and smile and then just get on with their lives.

Sent by Kimmy | 9:00 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Oh Leroy - what a difficult question for me. We never see ourselves as other's see us. We have entirely different ideas about what other's preseive us as. I must have a good opinion of myself before I can even contemplate that one. I know how I would like to be remembered- decent, honest, loving and above all - leaving at least three wonderful children & grandchildren who were a credit to this world and happy to be alive! But alas, no children, no momentus accomplishments, only a so-so artist, writer, but a woman with a great, very patient husband who is the main reason for my wanting to continue to live.
Otherwise, I have not even been a rain drop in a pond. However Leroy, I KNOW how you will be remembered, WHEN you must leave!

Sent by J C R | 9:06 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I can't say how I want to be remembered but how I will remember my mom. She is the one fighting right now. Hopefully in my future I won't have to but if I do, I know the courage that it will take to fight it. I see it in her. I will remember her, man that is hard to say. I will remember her as a loving mother, best friend, wonderful wife, teacher, courageous person. Someone who rubs the back of my hand still because it is so soft like a baby (although not as soft as it used to be!) She has taught me to be the mother I want to be to my kids. I will remember her caring, sweet ways with people. She loves doing for people. I will remember how much she loves my dad. That is the love I want with my husband, the lasting kind of love that will withstand time and cancer. I will remember how excited she is when her grandbabies call to talk about jewels or how they can spell their names now. I will remember the presence of her through butterflies because they are so gentle and beautiful. I will remember.

Sent by Gina B | 9:09 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope my mark will be the love I've given to my family and friends - they can always keep that from me in their hearts. They'll always know that they were and are loved.

Sent by Dianne | 9:10 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy, I can't imagine leaving a mark on the world. That sounds so awesome and also intimidating. I do hope that I am remembered as being a good wife, a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother - who was happiest when surrounded by her family. A person who was a good listener, kept secrets when asked to keep them, and who showed how much she loved her family and friends by her actions and deeds

Sent by Barbara Hirsch | 9:12 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, I want to be remembered as someone who loved people instead of things... I am working on it.. The older I get the better I am!!

Blessings on your today and may you have NO pain!!

Sent by Patsy Elmore | 9:15 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Don't have an answer, but it's a thought that's been freshened in my mind since getting the report of my latest CT scan a few days ago...advancing metastatic disease, now in my liver and other new places in my belly. Time for us to start thinking seriously about some of those things.
Thanks, Leroy, for not shying away from the tough stuff.

Sent by Ann Sterling | 9:19 AM ET | 06-24-2008

It's a good question. Once you answer it, it can give you a benchmark for how to live can't it?

I might not be remembered necessarily 'for' anything; but I hope to be remembered as someone who made the people in my life happy at least most of the time.

Sent by Missy Patterson | 9:21 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy - for me it would be that I am a great Mom to my four kids(adults). We had some rough times but made it. I taught them respect - patience - kindness - among many other things. Also - that I am a terrific "Memaw" to my grandchildren. All of them are truely the loves of my life - my kids and my g-kids. I would hope that I will leave a special mark on each one of them and they will all know that I loved them all with everything I have.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 9:22 AM ET | 06-24-2008

We were sited on the sun bathed back porch in July, almost seven years ago. Deb had stopped all therapies after several years of a good fight against breast cancer. She in her wheel chair, her once tall body emaciated by the disease, as beautiful as always, blue eyed, smiling at me.
She said: "You will be in love again my Darling"
All I could say was a poor: "Deb, I cannot have this conversation with you right now... "
Her smile grew wider, showing me that I knew that she was right; that was the best way for her to go, knowing that I, the love of her life, would be happy again.

I am still carried by so many memories of Deb, but that moment, when she opened the doors of my future without her, reflects perfectly Deb's intelligent generosity.

I wish I will have such a legacy.

Sent by Francoise | 9:26 AM ET | 06-24-2008

When I was much younger I dreamed of making a huge impact on the world in some way - as a famous actress or writer, for example. While in college I decided I would be a renowned psychologist who would develop some new revolutionary theory. While those would have been wonderful ways to be remembered, it's pretty clear at this point that they're not going to happen. When I die there are not going to be legions of people mourning my passing and praising my great contributions to the worlds of acting, writing or psychology. However, if I were to die tomorrow, I think I would be remembered for being a loving and devoted mom, a supportive wife, a great friend and a decent social worker. Some of us are able to touch a lot of people in a positive way (i.e., writing an honest and inspiring blog about one's journey with cancer) while others have a much smaller circle of people they impact. That would definitely be the case with me. But, honestly, if I've done a good job as a mom, wife and friend, it's enough for me. I'll probably also be remembered for being excessively organized and a bit compulsive but I guess I have to take the good with the bad!

Sent by Amy | 9:28 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I wish to be remembered as a good husband, father and a true friend................

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 9:28 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Good morning, Leroy -

Wow! What a powerful question. For me the bottom line is "how have I helped others on our life journey?" The Dalai Lama writes about the importance of compassion for others and easing their suffering as being central to happiness in our own lives. You have certainly been a compassionate friend to many, many people, and I hope this knowledge will give you comfort as it has to them.

I will keep you in my thoughts as always. Linda in West Texas

Sent by Linda | 9:29 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I think that it would make me happy if I was remembered as a loving--and fun loving--friend and family member. We still come up with funny stories about my dad, and it is so nice to have such memories to return to and laugh about!

Sent by Nancy Kelly | 9:31 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I'm not a famous person, or a leader. I won't be remembered for inventions, treaties, or speeches. What I would like to be remembered for is my heart, my sense of humor, my friendships, and the ways I've helped others. In short, I'd like to be remembered for love.

Being a nurse makes caring come more easily, if it's what you're meant to do. When you help people in their time of illness and need, they tend to remember it, and are grateful. I'm counted as family by some of the patients I've cared for. I realized early on in my career that caring for others was just one way of extending love. It didn't really matter what the particular function I was doing was, but if I did it with the best intention, I was extending love to my patient and their families, and that is a very healing thing.
I'd also like to think that I'll be remembered for my scones.

Sent by Nancy K Clark | 9:31 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I've always hoped to make a difference and as I get older I am seeing that we may not realize the difference we make in others' lives. Sometimes that difference may not be realized for a while, but nonetheless significant.

Sent by Patty | 9:34 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Recently since I moved over to hospice I have been receiving cards form various people telling me about specific incidents changed their lives or perspective. The stories have ranged from humorous to very hear felt. Like the volunteer time I did after Rita/Katrina setting up a health clinic w vaccines for tetanus & hepatitis a &b. It has reminded me of the movie "it's a wonderful life.
For me Leroy I will remember you talking about a subject that needed to be discussed and the holes it filled in picture of life w cancer. You are a good & decent man, who showed through grace & dignity how we too could make it through this time. You are of course my hero. It's been a wonderful life hasn't it?

Sent by Cherie Brown, Tucson | 9:35 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I would really like to just be remembered - remembered as someone who totally loved her kids and husband and friends. They are my priority and always have been and I pray to G-d that they know that
Take care of you and wishing you, as Patsy said, NO PAIN.
Love, Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 9:36 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I know if you asked my friends and family that question about me, they'd all say that "she made us laugh." "She loved to share funny stories." And I do. But I'd like to be remembered for more than that. I'd like to be remembered for being compassionate and truly caring about those around me. I still have some work to do in that regard. But I think I'd consider my life successful if I had lots of people who knew I truly cared about them.

Sent by Linnea | 9:37 AM ET | 06-24-2008

This is a tough one, and more poignant because things haven't been going well lately in my corner of Cancer World. I get a lot of meaning and purpose from my work and ministry as an Episcopal priest, but now the disease is seriously interfering with my ability to do that work.

I guess I'd like to be remembered as someone who loved and lived as fully as I could through good times and hard times.

Sent by Elizabeth Cumming | 9:37 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Hi, Leroy.

That's an interesting and important question.

I would like to be remembered as a loving mother and wife, a good sister, as a good and loyal friend, as a good colleague. I am a science librarian, so I hope that the students, staff and faculty I've worked with over the years will pause for a moment and remember a time I helped them successfully and/or a time they had chocolate from the candy basket I keep on our service counter for an appropriate holiday and think something nice on my behalf and send warm thoughts to my surviving family and friends.

I've tried to live my life so as to make a positive difference in the lives of those around me (remember that librarians can minimize your information stress...:->). Whether I've been successful or not; well, it's important that I try.

My best to you and Laurie today. You both remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Erica | 9:39 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I do not need to be remembered. To have the incredible chance to exist as a human being is enough. No birth, no death.

Sent by Kenmore 703 | 9:40 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy - great question.

I'd like to be remembered several ways - as a good husband, father, grandfather, brother and friend. As someone who survived lymphoma and made a difference by becoming a marathoner to raise money to help cure blood cancers some day. As someone who helped to mentor and inspire others to do the same. As someone who was kind, and whose principles and integrity meant more to him than money or success.

How do you want to be remembered, Leroy?

to Ann Sterling, sad to hear of your advancing cancer, wishing for you some happy and pain-free times, and some great moments and memories living each day.

Sent by Art Ritter | 9:42 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I try to make each day a little bit better for those around me. In doing that I make every day a little bit better for me. It's how they say... a vicious cycle.

Sent by Lisa | 9:51 AM ET | 06-24-2008

That's a really good question Leroy. I think everyone would like to be remembered for being loving and kind, even if we aren't always that way - I hope the people around me will forgive and forget the less than loving words and actions that creep in.

I always thought I would want to be remembered for some great achievement. A leader in my community, a well known artist, or someone who could influence worlds. As I've gotten older I realize my limitations and the limitations in this world and just hope to be a good mom to my children. I fight with pain and depression every day and keep going for my boys. Your blog reminds me I am not alone and that I can keep going.

Sent by E. Larrieu | 9:53 AM ET | 06-24-2008

The Actor Paul Eddington shortly before he died said he would like people, if they thoought of him to think 'he did very little harm' I liked that.

Sent by Lisa Burt | 10:00 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Kindness, fairness, grace, a giving heart. Though I won't leave a legacy of family, a friend to all 4-legged creatures. Gave some a second & third & sometimes fourth chance. That's got to create a ripple somewhere, right?

Sent by Jen in NOLA | 10:04 AM ET | 06-24-2008

My grandmother passed away over 20 years ago. I think of her everyday. She loved me so deeply and without reservation that she lives on in the way I love now. I feel her impact on me, all the time.

I hope my fierce love for my family will carry like hers did. I wish for my children to tell their children of my love affair with my husband. The greatest love story ever told, and every word of it true.

I hope hope in the end I have replaced the love I absorbed here, two times over.

But don't remember me yet 'cause I'm not done living.

Neither are you Leroy.

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 10:04 AM ET | 06-24-2008

One thing as a mom with cancer, I always hoped I raised good people. Recently I found just how good my Kids are. So with that said.
I guess I can hope for the same to be remembered as a good, kind and compassionate person. One who truly cared about others around her. One who lived and shared life with those around her. If thats done what more can you ask for. I have always been a person of simple means.That in it self is a blessing as well.
Leroy, You have given us much daily your kindness compassion as well as empathy for all of us and those in the cancer community is beyond the mark. You my dear man have left us with a gift. Which for me is hard to put in this small space. I will take that with me no matter where I go the rest of my days. I know others will as well. You have addressed tough questions that others do not want to talk about. So thanks you make me think differently a so thanks.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 10:04 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope that I will be remembered with joy and laughter. That I was a good wife, daughter, stepmother, friend to those that mean so much to me in this world. That I was a rock for those in need, always there with a hug, a shoulder and a laugh as needed. That I am one that will stand by you no matter what, and those that hurt you will be no friend of mine. And when I come before God I will hear "Well done! Wanna try it again?"

Because there's always room to improve :)

Sent by Dannielle Higgins | 10:05 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy -- amazing question. Since I lost my dad two years ago to cancer, I haven't really thought much of how I would like to be remembered. But I think I learned mine from him -- I'd like to be remembered as having had a positive impact on somebody else's life. That's the only real thing of value there is to leave behind...and clearly something you've found a powerful way to do...you're always in my thoughts!

Sent by Tammy Reasoner | 10:12 AM ET | 06-24-2008

In the Bible the Apostle Paul said in II Timothy 4:6-8: "..the time of my death is near. I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me--the crown of righteousness...And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to His glorious return." I would like to be remembered as a woman who, because she loved and trusted in her Creator, was able to be a woman of endurance; fulfilled the purpose and plan that He had for her life, which is to bring glory to His name and help others to know Him personally; and that she remained faithful to her Savior Jesus Christ.

Dear Leroy, I am praying that you too will find peace in knowing your Creator and look forward to all that He has for those who love Him after they leave this earth. Linda Faulkner

Sent by Linda Faulkner | 10:14 AM ET | 06-24-2008

You ask such simple but profound questions. I want to not assume my family & friends know what I'm thinking (the best & last conversation I had with my dad 11 years ago this week was "I'm proud to be your daughter, proud you were my father". All he could answer was Ditto, but it was enough.

I want to be remembered through my art. I have been a calligrapher for over 30 years and have put my soul into the words I have chosen to letter.

I want to be remembered as a creative person, who teamed with a wonderful husband to create two amazing children; who always had time to listen & share with other cancer patients, and who was the best daughter, sister, and friend I knew how to be.

I want to be remembered as someone who walked the cancer path both as caregiver and patient with profound creativity, compassion, dignity and humor.

Not much to ask, wry grin, but just as i try to always feel the love of those who've gone before me, I want to leave my imprint of Love on those who follow.

Doodles of blessings on every One, no matter what our journeys.

Sent by Ann Van Tassell | 10:15 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I believe you will be remembered as one who lit the way for those who must follow. I hope I'm remembered as one who loved her family and made good cookies.

Sent by kathleen | 10:16 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Ah Leroy..making me think this morning....When I was diagnosed I mourned not the fact that I was given an expiration date but the fact that as a mother in her 40's I would miss the milestones in my daughters' lives. I began writing several blogs, painting and photoghaphying my journey with cancer. I was in an abusive relationship and I decided that my daughters should remember me as a strong woman who could overcome domestic violence and fight cancer. In the middle of my fight, I left my husband and have worked hard to show them I could survive this fight. I want to be remembered by my daughters that I may not be here when they have children or get married but I was a good mother who worked hard to overcome huge obstacles. That I was loving and caring and I might not leave them with lots of money, but they will have tons of memories of how I chose to live my life instead of just sitting back and accepting my fate.

Sent by Miriam | 10:17 AM ET | 06-24-2008

What a great question Leroy. I have thought about this recently. A friend died from her breast cancer, and as I read through the remembrances of her, I was tempted to think that I could never match up to the example she set (she was an elementary teacher like me), or the way she lived her life, or anything.
I realize of course, that what I admire about her and the way she lived her life is that she LIVED it. She did the things she thought were important. She was true to herself and her family and her beliefs.
I want to be remembered for the things that matter. Accomplishments, wealth, awards, those things are nothing. Fitting a mold of how I should be- look- act... nothing. There is so much pressure- from the time we are little, to pay attention to those things, and define ourselves by those things. However...
living this life I have, loving, serving, being me, that's everything.
And as it always has been, even before cancer slammed me up against the wall and I learned this in a more vivid way!-- it's a one-day-at-a-time deal.

Sent by Cathy Skubik | 10:19 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy,

As my cancer also continues to advance rapidly (at the ripe old age of 37 this past Sunday), I have begun to seriously consider that very question.

I can't help but think of my children (ages 12 and 14). I will someday be the breeze against their cheek, the twinkle of a crescent moon on a clear night, the sparkle in the eyes of their newborns they will someday gaze upon and wish I could be there to hold.

For my husband (the love of my life for the past 18 years), I hope he remembers that I always loved our children and him so much and am so sorry to have to leave him so soon and before our job as parents was done. I want him to remember me for my sometimes stubborn side (and smile about it), remember how hard I tried to make our life together as wonderful as it has been, and how much I loved him.

For friends and extended family, they have often said that they think of me for my courage these past 7 years. However, rather than being remembered for my courage while dying, I would rather be remembered for the way I tried to live- as a Christian just waiting for God to call me home but trying to be honest, dependable, ethical, loving, just an average girl living an average life until it's time to go home...

Leroy- here's hoping you have a great, pain free day today. Some days it seems that's the best gift we can be given these days... thanks for asking the hard questions, allowing so many of us to voice here what may be difficult or impossible to say in any other forum. That may be your legacy to so many of us who follow your fight every day.

Sent by Tricia from central Cali | 10:24 AM ET | 06-24-2008

How do I want to be remembered? What mark do I want to leave?

I'd like to be remembered as a great storyteller--whether in my writing, songwriting, performing or public speaking. I've seen the effect a well-told story can have in getting folks to think about matters that are important. I love igniting that inspirational "aha!" with well-chosen, well-delivered words or music. It gets me high.

I think about what little I know of my great-great grandmother who immigrated from Ireland. It intrigues me to consider what stories about her and her children survived them through the generations and came to me. I want to be remembered as the one who wrote them down and preserved them for future generations of my family.

I'd also enjoy being remembered for my passion in whatever I do, along with my honesty, wisdom and sense of humor. That's not asking for too much, is it? ;-)

Sent by Carol | 10:25 AM ET | 06-24-2008

My Mother died in 1990 at the age of 56. I was talking to my sister the other day and at one point she laughed and I suddenly felt my Moms presence. It wasn't so much that she sounded like our mother (though she did) - it was more the feeling. Sometimes when I walk into my Dads house when he is making his spaghetti sauce from scratch - that particular smell nudges a memory from my grandmas house in Massachusettes complete with the sounds of our large Italian family trading stories in the native tongue with a pot of fresh sauce (gravy) constantly simmering on the stove. Throughout my family there are certain gestures, sayings, manners of speech that come directly from those who passed before us. I think that is how we are all "remembered". We integrate ourselves into the lives around us and we live on through them.

Sent by Rachel | 10:31 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Funny, without thinking about it, but just accepting the first thought that comes to mind, I find myself thinking, as someone who helped in some way, I guess. I wonder what it is that makes us feel that way, and, actually in everyday life I feel more aware of my selfish instincts than of any impulse to be of help, but when asked how I want to be remembered, this is what comes to mind. I suspect we are much more alike than different in this regard. Thanks for asking. Joyce

Sent by Joyce Smith | 10:31 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy,
What a tough question. I hope people will have a smile in their hearts when they remember me. I am 68 years old and I recently told my daughter I feel like I am a failure in life. She said she doesn't know why I think that. I guess it is because by the world's standards I don't have wealth or the things I should at this stage of life. What I do have are family and life long friends who love me. What a precious gift that is!
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:33 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I'd like to be remembered as a kind, compassionate woman who loved giving hugs, whose husband was her best friend, and who loved her children 'as the stars in the sky and the sand on the beach'.

I know that none of us truly know how much we mean to other people, until we're gone. But Leroy, please know how much you mean to us, and how much you have done for everyone who's even heard of this blog. You are loved.

Sent by GFC | 10:34 AM ET | 06-24-2008

My granddaughter, at age 20, right before she went to be with God, said I do not want to be forgotten, I want to stand for something. After grief people go on with their life and forget you, but I want to stand for something so I will not be forgotten with tears in her eyes. YOU STAND FOR MUCH AND WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

Sent by MAVIS | 10:34 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Good Morning Leroy,
What a thought provoking question today. I truly would like to be remembered as the person who found a cure for cancer, but since that is not going to happen, I agree with Rob in Westport. I want to be a good and faithful servant and be welcomed into heaven by all of my friends and family that are waiting for me there. May your day be peaceful, painfree and touched by something wonderful. Hugs as always.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:35 AM ET | 06-24-2008

good thought. I learned so much from my sister's life, especially her life with cancer. I remember her love and her laughter and her care for her family and also the way she really focused on each and every moment. I

Sent by Fern Malowitz | 10:41 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope to be remembered as a compassionate person who did her best to leave the world a better place for generations to come. I also want to be remembered as someone who taught her kids to do the same.

Kathy Bero
Wisconsin

Sent by Kathy Bero | 10:41 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Good morning Leroy.

What a great question - - and one i think about all the time.

I don't have children (my treatment sent me into chemopause, and by the time i had figured that i might not die imminently [which of course i still might -- we never know, do we?!] and was willing to think about adoption, my husband had gotten comfortable with the idea that we'd never have kids, and for some reason couldn't turn back and revisit that topic.

So i often wonder about "my legacy." It feels so important for me to leave something behind. Something good. I want to have made a positive difference in the world before i go.

I'd like peopleto remember me as follows: "she was a good, kind person. She cared about other people and about her community. She made a difference."

I just hope that this is, indeed, the legacy i am leaving behind.

With love from Suzanne in Houston

Sent by Suzanne | 10:43 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I went to a funeral recently, and the minister said he hoped that his service "would bring dignity to a good man's life." I just hope I'll be remembered as a good person, someone who went out of her way to make the daily grind a little easier on everyone.

Sent by Kristi | 10:55 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, In Business, I want to be remembered as someone who got the job done. I worked for a large Bank, held many positions from Branch Manager and VP, to Sr.V.P. and everything in between. I think all those I worked with and for will remember a hard workinig guy who would go the extra mile without being asked. As a friend, I will be there when and where you need me. In the middle of the night to get you off that Freeway with your broken car. I guess reliable, predictable, bound by responsibility, committed, a person who honors his word.

You come up with some of the most difficult questions, but that is your job. You callange us, and that is good for everyone. Thanks!

Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 10:56 AM ET | 06-24-2008

A good quesiton since I have been so focused lately on feeling guilty about the pain I am and will cause family and friends as things continue to progress. I know I have raised two fine children who are contributing to the world. I suppose I will also be remembered as someone willing to fight for what they believed. I am just trying to think of being remembered happily without as much pain as I see now.

As always thanks for throwing out a topic, which has provoked so many wonderful responses.

Sent by Dona | 10:58 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Gosh, it was hard to read all those responses through the tears.

Let me inject a note of humor: I want to be remembered as being a BETTER person than I really am. I try to be all those things that the rest of you are--good wife, mother, teacher...but really, I am just not so perfect. So, I hope those people in my world will remember me the way I TRY to be.

And, I am sure many will remember me when they knit. I have taught hundreds of kids to knit. I also hope my former students will remember me when they pick up a favorite book and remember when they learned to read and that teacher who loved to read aloud to them.

I can only imagine what my son and daughter will remember about my life as their mother...oh, my.

Sent by Robin Smith | 11:01 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Here, here, Judy Voller. Leroy has made a lasting imprint on us all--for the better.

Interesting--no one has mentioned leaving all the money in the world or having had the most business triumphs.

In the end, I believe it really does come down to having loved and been loved in return.

Kathy B.

Sent by Kathy B. | 11:03 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Thank you, Sue, in Rochester, NY. You said it beautifully.

Sent by Leah Forst | 11:03 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I have been thinking about this for a few weeks. Almost like I'd like to stage my own funeral- picking out songs and slides that I feel represent me. What do I want to be remembered as? I want to be remembered for being a good person- or at least someone who tried to be a good person! I want my children to think of me with love and know in their hearts how much I loved them, and always will love them. I want them to feel I am always with them and am always supporting them in what ever they do..and I want them to continue to talk to me in their thoughts and remember that they could talk to me about anything.
I want my friends to remember me as I remember my friends who have died. I still talk to them in my thoughts and smile when I do something they would have particularly enjoyed. I want them to remember the power of our friendship.
I want to be remembered as someone who always tried her best, learned new things all the time, believed in the goodness of people, and loved the people in her life. That would do it for me, I think.

Sent by elm | 11:14 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy and Laurie, There is no doubt that you will both be remembered for the amazing contributions that you have
made to everyone in Cancer World and beyond! You have both touched so many lives in such a special way!

To All, Each and every one of you have also contributed so much to this network of support. You tell your stories and you show that you care for each other. There is no greater legacy!

As for me, I hope to live on in the hearts of my husband, children, grandchildren and friends for as long as they live. I hope they will extend love, compassion and hope, in my honor, to everyone with whom they have contact in the future. And I hope they will not take NO for an answer when they see problems that need to be solved in the future. We will leave the world a better place when we insist that solutions and cures be found for the problems that still need to be addressed after our journies are completed. God Bless

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 11:18 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Collectively our generation will not be remembered kindly by future denizens of our planet because coming generations will bear the burden of our greed, wastefulness and carelessness for decades if not centuries to come. Individually very few of us will be remembered beyond the next generation or two, unless we have made some important contribution to culture, science or art. So the question for most of us would, in the larger context, seem irrelevant. Besides, it's not like any of us will be around to find out. So why worry...

Sent by Michael K | 11:26 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I'm proud of my Dad, and though he's led a simple life, he's done a great job as a husband, father, and provider. He has a good and gentle heart, and his presence in my life helped to teach me the right way to be. I love him--and I will love him--now and always.

Sent by Linda Lee | 11:29 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy et al,

It has been said that poetry has been defined as a language writing itself out of difficult situation. And, with that I bring you this poem by Raymond Carver, who like you Leroy, also asked a difficult question of himself before he died of cancer.

And, did you get what you wanted from life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved,
To feel myself beloved on earth.

I offer another question for each of us to ponder and perhaps, serve as the opening line of a writing exercise and to finish the thought.

And, did you get what you wanted from life, even so?...

Godspeed
Celia Engel Bandman

Sent by Celia Engel Bandman | 11:38 AM ET | 06-24-2008

'Whatever you choose to claim /
of me is always yours: /
nothing is truly mine /
except my name. I only /
borrowed this dust.'

--Stanley Kunitz, 'Passing Through'

Something like that.

Sent by M Wms | 11:39 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be remembered as someone who faced this fight with strength and grace. That I faced life with strength and grace. That I made life a little bit better for the people around me.
Most of all, I just want to be remembered.
Thank you Leroy.

Sent by Laura Stechschulte | 11:43 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I don't care if I'm remembered as being an "interesting" person -- I want to be remembered as being "interestED" -- in other people & in the world around me!

Sent by Sue L. | 11:44 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope to be remembered as a loving and giving Mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I hope people will remember the simple things; I love all animals, I love to laugh, I love the beach and most importantly, I love my family and friends.

Love and peace to you, Leroy!!!

Sent by Tess from KY | 11:46 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I'd like to be remembered as someone who left a hole where I used to be, not a mark .

Sent by Diana Santamaria | 11:51 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy and all,
Interesting question, for now, I just want to find ways to keep Neils memory alive, not just for me but for those that loved him too.
As for me, I want my kids to know how much I loved them, how proud I am of them and I want to be remembered as a loving, caring and generous mom, wife(ex), friend and lover. I guess I just want to be remembered with happiness.
Laurie, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mother, you have my sympathy.

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 11:53 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope my family remembers me as surrounding them with love.

Sent by cathy | 11:55 AM ET | 06-24-2008

This song has always resonated with me.

Song of the Soul

"Love of my life," I am crying;
I am not dying: I am dancing,
Dancing along in the madness;
There is no sadness, only a song of the soul.

And we'll sing this song;
Why don't you sing along?
And we can sing for a long, long time.
Why don't you sing this song?
Why we can sing along?
And we can sing for a long, long time

What do you do for your living
Are you for giving, giving shelter?
Follow your heart; love will find you;
Truth will unbind you; sing out a song of the soul.

And we'll sing this song;
Why don't you sing along?
And we can sing for a long, long time.
Why don't you sing this song?
Why we can sing along?
And we can sing for a long, long time

Come to your life like a warrior;
Nothin will bore yer; you can be happy.
Let in the light; it will heal you;
And you can feel you sing out a song of the soul.

And we'll sing this song;
Why don't you sing along?
And we can sing for a long, long time.
Why don't you sing this song?
Why we can sing along?
And we can sing for a long, long time
And we can sing for a long, long time.

Credits (1975 Cris Williamson)

Sent by Ellen Ballard | 11:59 AM ET | 06-24-2008

I'm crying a bit as I skim through these and read some of them to my office mate who joined the cancer world when her partner was diagnosed with melanoma. Her strong faith has been a buoy for them as well as me as we've traveled this road.

I also periodically think about this question. I hope my kids remember me as a good mom and I hope my husband will be able to smile whenhe thinks of the journey we shared together. I hope my friends will come and celebrate my life with fun and good memories--even memories of times when we struggled but eventually made it through. I think my kids will smile and think of me when they are kind to animals or when they see re-runs of Ghostbusters. I hope that in some way, I made the world a little bit better.

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 12:05 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy,

I would like to be remembered as a good mother, daughter and friend.

You I will remember as someone through your grace and courage taught me how to be better at all three.

Sent by Sue | 12:05 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Well, you're asking two different questions there, Leroy: How will people remember you? and How do you WANT to be remembered? In my case, I doubt that the answers are the same. I'd like to be remembered as a loving,courageous, kind and compassionate mom, wife, sister and friend who left my corner of the world at least a tiny bit better than I found it.But what I suspect is that those who know me best will also remember me as a nagging, obsessive, self-pitying, stubborn,critical person who wasted precious time trying to avoid risks, etc.instead of living her life full throttle.

What helps is thinking about my memories of my own parents. They were (as we all are) complex people, capable of both pettiness/unkindness and enormous generosity of spirit. I remember them with great love, but I remember both their strengths and their weakneses.Recently, though, I've been focusing on their more positive characteristics, hoping to emulate them in whatever time I have left.My dad had a hard life, but he always found humor in everyday things and shared funny stories with those around him. He was a sweet,gentle man who loved his children unconditionally. Mother was incredibly strong and determined. She never dwelled on the past, but just kept putting one foot in front of the other, moving forward and dealing with whatever was on her plate. And both of them were notorious for helping anyone in need, whether friends, relatives, or complete strangers.If we had an empty bed and someone needed a place to stay -- it was theirs!

I want to be remembered as a daughter who had at least a little bit of both of their spirits in me -- and tried my best to pass it on to the next generation.But I WILL be remembered for my faults as well: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, warts and all! And I hope those closest to me will also remember that like my mom, I was still learning and trying to become a better person right up until the end of my life.

Sent by Doris | 12:07 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Joe used to say he did not want to die like this other guy did... in the crapper at work. He made me promise that if that happened to him I would go there and drag him outside. That statement probably was a benchmark for how he lived, like Missy Patterson said. He traveled extensively, didn't care too much for things, thought the little guy should get a break, was just a regular guy, was loving and smart and funny, loved animals, and always looked for God. In the end he changed his commemorative water fountain wish into a well for children in Africa. So there is a fund for that and it will happen.

Sent by Irene | 12:09 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I'd like to be remembered as a good mom, a loving wife, a faithful friend. I'd like people to smile when they think of me.

Sent by Kathy Groh Canby | 12:14 PM ET | 06-24-2008

In her book, 'Old Friend from Far Away', Natalie Goldberg advises a student to, "always follow the person behind you." (pg 83) I'm holding to this gem as a talisman. Living with cancer has taught me to be less rigid, more accepting, more playful. I have learned the unconditional love of animals.

Embracing life with passion now is my job; I'll have to eavesdrop from the other side, to see how it is reflected.

Thank you all for mutual inspiration.

Sent by Joan S. | 12:18 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be thought of, by God, as a dependable, loving person. If He thinks of me that way then I don't have to worry about how others view me. But I hope others will also remember me as loving.

Sent by Susan | 12:21 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy, You have given so many people a better understanding of how to keep going even if it sometimes seems impossible. No one will forget your struggle and how you helped us to deal with ours.
For this I thank you and may you find the peace you need in these difficult days.
All the best
maaike

Sent by maaike slager-hoving | 12:27 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be remembered as a good mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend.
I can leave this life, knowing that I was always there for my two beautiful children, and gave them whatever I could emotionally and physically.
With all my education.....I am a mother first and always will be. That's how I want to go out....with my children feeling they had the best mother in the world.!
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 12:27 PM ET | 06-24-2008

My 18 year old daughter lost her battle with cancer a year and a half ago, after only being diagnosed for 7 months. There were so many conversations we didn't have, that I wish we did. We were both always trying to protect eachother from the pain, and stay positive. I can't even imagine some of the thoughts and fears she must have dealt with. But I think about that all the time. And you bringing these things out into the open on your blog, gives me insight into the "unsaid" words. She told one of her friends that her biggest fear was plain old not being remembered. I guess she feared she was too young to have accomplished a great goal that would bring her that noteriety. She is and always will be remembered. Her school has honored her with a memorial scholarship based on her strength and determination to just keep living and striving for her goals while she was here. What else can we do? But I believe her biggest impact was made by love. She touched so many people in the time she was here. Changed them..all of us are changed for having known her. And the way we were changed, has changed our current and future relationships. And the way we interact in those relationships will change those people. And so on, and so on. She has left a huge legacy of love. If she had lived to be 100, that still would have been the most important thing to leave behind. You will NEVER be forgotten Dana! I love you.

Sent by Linda Francoeur | 12:28 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I'd like to be remembered as a person who was kind to animals, putting himself at disadvantage in rescuing and caring for them.

Sent by Scott S. | 12:30 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I remember my sister as someone who made me laugh a lot and as someone who shared the same sense of humour with me, as close siblings often do. I think the best way to be remembered is for smiling a lot and giving all your love at all times. On my sister's funeral card the end of the blessing reads,
"You have made everything beautiful in its time. For everything you do remains forever". I imagine i'd like to be remembered in the same sort of light.

Sent by liz | 12:32 PM ET | 06-24-2008

What a hard question to think about and answer. I don't have children, and I am average in so many ways. My husband, David, is an artist and creates so much beauty that will stay forever. I agree with Jen - I love animals and I have helped and loved many unloved and abandoned ones. I also would like to be remembered as a good and loyal friend.
Love to everyone here on this blog.

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 12:33 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy,

I want to be remembered as a good and caring person, who learned all along the way and who did the best she could at every juncture.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:37 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy:

Oddly, I don't really want to be remembered. I just want to be on my way, not concerned about any of that. My hope is that the mark I make is on the interactions that I have in this life; the kindness and honesty I give, the good work I do. Now, when I am part of it.

Like you are doing for all of us.

With deep gratitude to both you and Laurie.

Elaine

Sent by Elaine Barnes | 12:39 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Great question Leroy. Oh, how you make those of us, who read your blog.....THINK !!!!
I would like to be remembered as a loving and caring wife, wonderful Mother and Grandmother and a Good Person. Listening and helping others as I make this journey, called Life !!!
God Bless, Leroy !!!!

Sent by Vickie Brown | 12:42 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Good Morning Leroy, How is your pain? I hope much, much BETTER. You are always challenging us with your thoughts. I know I will remember you as the person who had the strength and vision to share his life and thoughts and who challenge me in that we share this world.
I would like to be remember as a good mother, fun grandmother and suportive wife. I like for all to smile at the silly things I did and specially for them to have compasion and care for others as I do.
Have a peaceful day Leroy, I got up today thinking maybe your pain had subsided a little.
Peace be with you.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly | 12:43 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Well, this has been a simple/tough contemplation. I have no aspirations to leave a mark on the world, rather pass through gently. I would like to be remembered as someone who laughed, loved, caused no harm, listened and rejoiced in living. Any accomplishments as a parent, partner, worker are just extensions of my core, the ripples in the pond.

What do you want Leroy?

Sent by Stitches | 12:49 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Remember me~
Remember me with smiles and laughter
For that's how I'll remember you all.
If you can only remember me
with tears and sorrow,
Then don't remember me at all

Sent by Karen | 12:51 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want people to remember me fondly and to smile when they think of me or hear my name mentioned. I want people to remember that I made them think when we conversed and that I made them laugh. And if anyone says anything mean about me after I die, I might decide to haunt them.

Sent by Janell | 12:54 PM ET | 06-24-2008

This question cuts into my soul. I am 54 and have lost three of my oldest, dearest friends in the past month. Two where lost in unrelated accidents two weeks apart, the last after a brief illness. This has taught me that no amount of preparation can ready you for the unpredictability of life.

I would like to be remembered in the order my life unfolded:

A good friend, a good wife,a good mother.

Sent by linda | 12:59 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Don't say that I will depart tomorrow --
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his "debt of blood" to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up,
and so the door of my heart
can be left open,
the door of compassion.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Sent by Elaine | 1:01 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Your questions really make me get real with my thinking. I hope I am remembered as a content survivor, I have worked hard to be a good person and an active listener to all, old, young, sick or well. I also want to know me for my smile and understand it is real. I DO love life but am not afraid of death even during the fight with cancer. Thank you for all you write about and reveal you are a blessing to all of us.

Sent by Marian | 1:10 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, it is right and normal for you to ask this question, but I hope that you will not spend too much time ruminating on the subject. You have many hours, days, weeks & months left. Time still to make many new memories with those you love. Life can only be lived in the present. That being said, I've never been in your position so please excuse me if I seem insensitive. It is not my intention.

Sent by A friend | 1:17 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, what a great question! And it reminds me that we all spend so much time and energy on gaining things ("stuff") and yet, that's not what our loved one and friends remember about us when we're gone. It's not what we have, but who we are. As a very wise person (Jesus) once said, "One's life does not consist in the abundance of what he possesses." I hope to be remembered as a woman of integrity who loved the Lord, her family and her friends...and everyone knew it. God bless you as you walk this difficult path.

Sent by Barb | 1:18 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope to be remembered as a loving wife, mother, grandmother and loyal friend. I was a mother at age 20, I hope they remember I did the best I could with what I knew. I am thankful to have been married 45 years to my high school sweetheart. Some might say, she encouraged others through her one arm web site, e-mails and note cards. As a Christian, I want to hear well done good and faithful servant. I hope I lived a life worthy of my calling and at my funeral I pray they hear my life was not for nothing.

From Linda in sunny Kirkland, WA

Sent by Linda Hughes | 1:22 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope to be remembered as a wonderful wife and mother, and good friend. The one who cheered the loudest at the swim meets and soccer games, who loved having people over for big dinners, who delighted in home grown flowers. The one who was heart broken when her beloved husband Jim died of cancer. I'd like to be remembered for my work in cancer research too. To have people say that our work made a difference in the development of HPV vaccines. That our findings will stand the test of time. That I was good mentor to students and post-docs who will be the next generation of scientists. I hope my daughters will be proud of me despite my faults.

Sent by Denise | 1:32 PM ET | 06-24-2008

For us in Cancer World,this is one of the top biggies to deal with. Of course, hearing, "My God it's a Tumor!" was life shattering during a regular colonoscopy. For us your inveterate Leroy-Blog Followers, we have faced "How will I be Remembered?" many times. We think of youo, so brave, so articulate about Cancer World,so forthright about the next corner the rest of us have not faced yet. Me? To be remembered by my family, friends and community as a person who worked hard for them, trying to be sure no one else had to go through this. Enough is enough. Someone (many ones really) has to begin the stopping of the beast we live with.
I wish you God Speed as you travel the road ahead of us. Let us know what's beyond,too,huh? Keep the Blog going.

Sent by Jo-Ellen | 1:33 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I really hope that people remember me because I've been their friend - someone they trusted, someone who made them feel good. I don't want to be remembered for the jobs that I did, for how much "stuff" I gathered, but rather as a giving and caring person. That's not to say that I've mastered that skill by a long shot - but I think the people-centered things are what's important in life - not the stuff you have. You have helped me sort some of this out, of course. I try never to leave something good unsaid, and I try to get over that which doesn't serve a good purpose. You, my friend, will be remembered as someone who didn't personally know most of us, but who significantly impacted every one of us. You can't ask for more than that. Good job, Leroy, good job :)

Sent by Martha in FL | 1:35 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I would like to be remembered as a giver of light and sharer of souls who did good in the world. My art will last longer than the memory of who I was, so I wonder what the children who find great-great grandmother's watercolors in a dusty corner of the attic will know of me. You, Leroy, will be remembered for your wonderful words, your soaring spirit and your truth-telling for ages and ages.

Sent by Jane | 1:35 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope that my son, Sam, will be remembered (far, far in the future someday) as someone who fought cancer with hope and a sense of humor, and came through it with dignity and grace. Sam just finished eighth grade. In his yearbook, a friend of his wrote, "You're my hero!"

Sent by Paula | 1:36 PM ET | 06-24-2008

That I loved well...loved those that are hard to love, and those that are easy to love...loved in hard times and good times, materially and spiritually.

Sent by Nancy | 1:39 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Beyond a loved and loving person and a passable wife, I wish to always be reflected in the wonderful person my nine-year-old son is becoming. I will always want whomever he may touch in life to know that I worked hard to set him out on a good path before I had to leave him.

Sent by Tracy | 1:40 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy this is my second comment today. I guess for me I need to share something.
In January of this year I lost a awsome friend I met on line in a cancer chat. Its funny some say people don't and can't be good friends from being on line. I say they are so wrong.
I met Judy in a online chat in January of 2005. She and I live in different states however had so much in common more then our Cancer which was lymphoma.
The day her and I met our lives were ulimatly changed. I say that because we make choice on how we treat others. My choice was to treat her like part of my family not just a friend but a sister. And I truly believe we were sisters by heart and friends by choice.
in Nov 2006 her cancer came back it was bad. Her choices were not good but what was offered was a clinical trial which involved a year of chemo, then really hard chemo then stem cell transplant.
Judy and I talked daily if not in chat on the phone, in yahoo or in emails.
November of 2007 she entered tough chemo and her and I talked on the phone nightly to just help her over the hurdles. Nov. 27th she underwent the stem cell transplant.
She called me that day to say she made it through and her. Before all of that we had said our peice nothing left unsaid.
She did well for a while thing things got bad. Her lungs were damaged by the post transplant drugs and she died January 27th of 2008 cancer free. Her last call to me was saying her PET Scan and Cat Scans were cancer free. I love and thanks for being better then a sister and a awesome friend.

So in the void of horrible loss there was a gift. One that tells me to keep being who I am. To not change one thing. Just keep doing what I am doing daily.

I think everyone here has something special about them, whats really is important is to stay true to who you really really are and treat others as you would love to be treated yourself. When you do that. I don't think you can expect any more out of yourself.

After all Judy was a person who didn't have much . But she like me had her family, a loving husband. Eight Kids and twenty two grandkids. She was a incredibily (can't spell) positive person who said she would beat her cancer she did. Even in death she was cancer free. So She had what she wanted.
She felt no matter what it was a win win situation no matter what happened.

So I am digesting here life and her death..But what is stunning is her words her gift to me has changed my thinking day to day. I know whats important and the rest well I just don't sweat it now.

Just as reading here has. So thanks Leroy and all who post here. Everyone offers a new outlook to our situation with cancer and how we deal in our day to day life.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 1:41 PM ET | 06-24-2008

How would I want to be remembered... Simply.

As someone who valued people above things, family before all others. As someone who worked to live, as opposed to being someone who lived to work. As someone who was sincere and valued her integrity. As someone who enjoyed laughter and hugs and life.

And now for a hankie...

Leroy & Laurie, thank you again and always.

Sent by Judie in CT | 1:49 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I'm a mother and grandmother, and I have been an elected official. To me I want to be remembered as honest, a person of integrity. Even to people that didn't support me. It's especially important to me for the grandkids, since I believe the best lesson you can teach a child is by example. No matter what you say, it gets trumped by what you do.

Sent by Juanita Helms | 1:57 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I was reading the comments and saw the post by Terrell W in Bay City Tx. I 100% agree! Being the best father and husband is extremely important to me. I also want to be remembered as a man who faced cancer, beat it and went on to help others.

Sent by Brian Dowd | 1:58 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Thank you Leroy, for challenging us to think of these issues. I'd like to be remembered as a sparky, fun, tenacious person who left an impact that made people smile and think. Most of all, I'd like people to remember me as authentic.

That's how I think of you, Leroy -- authentic.

Sent by Kathy Seeley | 2:03 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Hi Leroy:

I want to be remembered as a loving, caring person who always has a smile on her face. I think I am that kind of person and have always lived my life that way. I can remember when I was a little girl, my Mom always told us kids that when we walk down the street to always smile at everyone. Of course, we grew up in a small town and things were different in those days. But people do comment on how I always seem to have a smile on my face and that includes even when I am attending my support group for women with metastatic cancer. I hope by my smiling, I will bring a little joy into someone's life who may be having a hard day.

I'm smilin' at ya, Leroy.

JO

Sent by Jo Paola | 2:09 PM ET | 06-24-2008

This isn't easy to answer.

I want to be remembered for my love of life and eternal optimism.

I want my family to remember how much I cherish them.

I want my friends to remember my sick sense of humor and generosity.

When someone picks up an article that I knit for them I want them to remember me fondly.

There's no cancer word in there - it doesn't define me except....

I want to be remembered for my bravery in the face of adversity.

Have a great day Leroy.

Sent by Anita Apodaca | 2:11 PM ET | 06-24-2008

As someone who loved, laughed and lived to the fullest extent possible!

Sent by Lyn Banghart | 2:21 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Hi Leroy,

It has been a while since I checked in on you via your blog. My mom lost her battle to leiomyosarcoma (fancy word for big, ugly cancer)a few months ago in February 3 weeks after my first baby was born. First, let me say I was so incredibly relieved to find you still blogging and living. Secondly, I'm so sorry for the bad news. I need you to know what you and your blog have done for me. I'm sure there are days you wonder why you must write and what you must write. I was a set of those footsteps with you going through my mom's cancer. I was so busy fighting, I honestly didn't know how to stop at the very end. Learing to pray and ask for mercy versus health and life was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. Now, catching up and reading your blog is helping me to grieve and remember what I blocked out towards the end of my mother's battle. How will you be remembered? As an honest, thought provoking warrior in the fight for your life. I wish you the peace that you seek and thank you for the peace that your words give.
Keep fighting! Melanie

Sent by Melanie Hunkapiller | 2:24 PM ET | 06-24-2008

In answer to the question you posed - I woulld like to be remembered as someone who made the world a better place - even in the smallest way. You have made the world a better place with your blog about living with cancer. I wish you all the best for a long time to come - with not much suffering. Tune in to sacredspace.ie it may help.
God Bless.

Sent by Fionnuala O'Reilly | 2:29 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, our 23yo son passed away in May, 8months after being dx'd w/Ewing's sarcoma. Here is link to song he chose to be remembered with, makes me think of you, especially the "... surrounded by 50million strong ..."
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uMTXHp2s0NM

Sent by Donna | 2:30 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy,
When you were diagnosed with cancer and there was no known cure, what I have come to realize is you have brought us life.
You live well, Leroy. _jld

Sent by l | 2:48 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Dude, not that this will ever get printed on the public blog, but hopefully the folks who monitor this will pass it on to you....I want to be remembered as the 105 year old woman who died in a compromising position with Lars, the 40-year old Swedish massage guy!

But, if that doesn't happen, then I want to be remembered as a good person.

You, though, should take satisfaction in knowing that you will be remembered for sharing your story with the world and for all the love your blog has created. And when you think about it, that's pretty cool.

I wish you peace.

Sent by Joyce in FL | 2:59 PM ET | 06-24-2008

i am at peace and you Sir will be remembered fondly because your life is your legacy.

Sent by Dave Wright | 3:01 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Awesome comments. Reflective and sincere. Thank you again Leroy for your many contributions through this blog. God be with you always.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 3:03 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I hope that I am someday (hopefully far into the future) remembered as being a devoted Mother, wife, daughter, and friend.
I don't post often so I want to thank you Leroy for giving me some insight into how my Mom may have been feeling 10 years ago. There were some conversations that we didn't have because I was too young to fully realize her condition really was terminal and what that would truly mean for me (probably also called "denial") and as my Mother she was protecting me as well even in her struggle. But I do know how much she loved me and I still carry her with me to this day. She is rarely far from my thoughts. She would have loved your blog.

Sent by S A | 3:14 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I was asked something similar once a while back and wrote the following:

I am Mom first, with a daughter graduating college, getting married and moving out on her own. With a 13 year old having multiple crisis, EVERY day, because of a boy, her hair or what she does not have in her closet. I am keeper of the home zoo, 3 mutts who are always hungry, a very chunky guinea pig and sand crabs(anybody want them? college dorm pets who seem to be staying!)I am a daughter who lost Dad to cancer 15 years ago and my mom worries about constantly. I am sister to three who all finally went in and had exams(and altho all of them got a scare, turned out ok!) I am a coworker who enjoys my job, immense satisfaction from going to work with same family owned company for 20+ years. I am a former Marine(never an ex!) who is proud of it. I have wonderful friends who I should contact more often but always seem to be ready to listen whether it's been a day or 3 months. I was told I had cancer a couple years ago and it scared the hell out of me, but not anymore. If it comes back, I will deal with it. I have told my kids that no matter what, my obit, should not say cancer anything. Just that I was a mom, a sister, a daughter, a friend and loved to sing. That's me.

It's a bit dated(the oldest is married but the youngest is still a teen!)but it is me and I want my family and friends to say "she was an optimist, a type A++ person, always willing to listen and she loved to sing."

Sent by Jenene K/AZ | 3:19 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want my daughter and her daughter to remember the words I say to them almost every time I see them, "Do you know what I love about you?...Everything!"
And I want to tell all of you something I heard years ago...that every life is a complete life, whether it was months or 18 years or 50 or 100. God knew how long we would each be here before we came. It gives me great confidence to know that he knows the entire plan for each of us, beginning to end. I have loved reading your messages today and I thank you Leroy for yet another gift.
Love to all of you from Pat

Sent by Pat | 3:22 PM ET | 06-24-2008

When I'm knocking on deaths door I really just hope that I have no regrets about how I lived my life and the kind of person I was....that I lived life the best that I could and loved the best that I could. If I'm remembered, I hope it's with love and a smile.

Sent by riley | 3:27 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I would like to be remembered as a traveler on this earth who was guided by a good moral compass. I would like to be remembered as a person who mostly did the right thing.

Sent by Susan | 3:27 PM ET | 06-24-2008

My youngest kids are two and three year old boys. What I hope they remember is what I hope all my other kids, my wife, my friends, and family remember. Every day I ask them, "How much does Daddy love you?" They stretch their arms as far as they will go, and they say, "Thiiiiiiiiis much!" And that is the truth.

Thanks Leroy.

Sent by Todd Brooks | 3:33 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be remembered for not giving up, and fighting to the end. I hope to leave an indelable mark on the lives and memories of the ones I love and hold dear. That mark being that I loved all of them dearly and fought to stay with them as long as possible.

Sent by Steve Schneider | 3:36 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I have thought about this from time to time in my life . . . close calls once or twice. I am not a very religious person - maybe spiritual in some ways but not religious . . . and I keep coming back to that Biblical quote: "Well done, good and faithful servant." Whatever it is, in whatever way, I hope I go down fighting like a tiger . . . .

Sent by PSut | 3:53 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want my teens to remember me for being a single mom who had to be the mom and dad and made mistakes, but always loved them the most.They are my reason to be...
I want my friends to remember that life is short and messy and brilliantly beautiful and I will always be with them when they think of me.
I want my dog to be ok without me and to cling to my kids...
I want people to remember me by adopting a needy pet, help an abused woman, support those giving birth alone, and to give from your heart and see magic unfold in your life. Life is a brilliant gift and a harsh school of hard lessons. All we ever have is each other. I want people to remember i believe in the power of LOVE and that music can set you free.

Sent by NancyGM | 3:54 PM ET | 06-24-2008

also a second post for me:

thanks to Donna and Joyce in Fla, I'm now sobbing and laughing wildly at the same time.

amen

Sent by Joan S. | 3:54 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, as so often happens in your writings, your simple question is both profound and provocative. I realized that, while I spend much of my time, anxiety, and energy trying to be successful in my career, I'd like to be remembered as a good wife, daughter, and friend. Guess I'd better rethink my priorities! Thanks for guiding us all.
(An everyday reader who seldom writes.)

Sent by Trish | 3:58 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I would like to be remembered as an extraordinarily beautiful, intelligent, gracious woman who made a contribution that changed all of mankind for the good. BUT, since that isn't going to happen, I would like that when people remember me,whatever they remember about me , that it makes them smile. I only hope that I am worthy of their affection and memory.

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 4:05 PM ET | 06-24-2008

A very simple yet difficult question for today....I believe that if we are led by our hearts and souls the love, compassion, doing the right things for the right reasons, extending our hands to help others in need and meaning it, being an example for our children and grandchildren, family and friends, being as selfless and giving as we can, etc. If we live our lives in this manner, our memories will be assured.

Each day with each blog, Leroy, you add to your legacy of kindness and doing for others. Your blog gives us a "peek" into your heart and soul. You are a "giver" not a "taker". The memories you create each day for all of us will remain in our hearts forever.

Sent by Al Cato | 4:26 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I'd like to be remembered as a kind and caring person. Someone who was a good listener and a loving person - to my family and friends. But to be honest, I'd also like to be remembered as a good writer and I hope that some day my stories touch people in a lasting way.

Sent by Kathy | 4:47 PM ET | 06-24-2008

"The one true freedom in life is to come to terms with death, and as early as possible, for death is an event that embraces all our lives. And the only way to have a good death is to lead a good life. Lead a good one, full of curiosity, generosity, and compassion, and there's no need at the close of the day to rage against the dying of the light. We can go gentle into that good night." William Sloane Coffin

Sent by N.Holmes | 4:55 PM ET | 06-24-2008

When i think on you as a much wiser woman it will be...
simply, as a friend I've grown to cherish.

With bravery, humor, easy intimacy and now with gorgeous globs of frosting!!!!!!

Sent by HD | 5:03 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I was held close by my mother while she mistreated me. My father passively kept his distance, permitting her to hurt me. As I read people's entries that describe the kind, caring and loving parents they had, I admit to being so, so sad at not having had that in my life. I hope to be remembered by my children as a loving parent and someone, who despite having so little love in her own childhood, was able to love them and not create another generation of pain. To have been a caring and good friend to my husband and my friends, to have helped others, to relieve suffering when I could and bring a bit of joy to others.

Sent by judith | 5:30 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Joyce in FL:
Someone is going to have to console Lars, the 40 yr. old masseuse.
Anyone free?
(Ha! Ha! Ha! HA!)
I can't stop laughing at the visual!
Thanks!

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 5:31 PM ET | 06-24-2008

leroy, i read your blog daily but seldom comment. i will remember you for your honesty and your ability to say in print what others may be unable or unwilling to say out loud. you have shared so much of the highs and lows as you deal with them on a daily basis. you have become a touch point for many who have felt alone.
you helped me to understand as i cared for my aunt and as i talk to friends who have cancer. thank you leroy.

Sent by jini | 5:42 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Being a member of the club(4th stage) I like to believe that the way I will be remembered is as a loving father, as a good husband, as a wise grandfather, as a good friend, as a witty character, as a fair businessman,as a hard worker, as a good son, as a compassionate animal lover,as a harmless flirt, as a funny, albeit silly uncle, as a reliable and affectionate brother.............all attributes that my dad handed down to me and for which he gets all the credit.

Sent by Jose R Gomez | 5:46 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I would like to be remembered as someone who lived with cancer although I will die of it. I would like to be remembered as somone who tried to be a good human being although I often fell short of my ideals. I would like to be remembered as someone who was generous and kind--and grateful.

Sent by salee | 6:02 PM ET | 06-24-2008

How'bout... someone who gave of her honed gifts to make this world a smidgeon better. And someone who could love really hard.
Peace,

Sent by JRon | 6:12 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I think it might be better to tell you how I remember those who have already passed. When I was 5 years old, my Great Grandfather passed from stomach cancer. In the summer of 1961, he was staying with us. Even though he hurt and was weak, he insisted on helping around the house. He was too weak to operate a 1960's vintage vacuum, so my Mother asked him to pull a few weeds in the flower beds until he wanted to stop. He was not able to use a garden hoe, but he laid on the ground, pulled out his pocket knife, and dug around the root of each weed. After he finished a spot, he would drag himself along to the next location then continue. He kept the flower beds, which ran 360 degrees around our rancher house immaculate that summer. In September, one of his grandsons convinced him to see Dr. Williams in Salem, VA, Grandpa's home town. Five days after leaving us, he passed away. I remember Grandpa as a man who could not be stopped by pain or infirmity.

While macho may be politically incorrect these days, I take great inspiration from men and women who have faced adversity with energy, determination, and pride in themselves.

Grandpa never won the Nobel prize or rescued orphans from a burning ship, but he did save me from drowning in self pity. I intend to be tough too. I will be the lesson for another generation.

Sent by Gary | 6:27 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Once my ex-husband and I were playing a game of "5 things I love about you." He said, "You care about the little things." He meant, among other things, the orphan calves, lambs, and kittens on our farm. But I think that is how I would like to be remembered. That I cared about the little things, including people who lacked the skill or resources to protect themselves or advance their own causes. Caring doesn't mean an airy-fairy loving kindness either. It means speaking out loudly against injustice. It means being willing to swim against the tide (see my posts about the bat on The Bryant Park project). Sometimes, when I'm fighting for a client in court, I imagine myself as Obi Wan Kenobi . . .I know it's silly . . .but I would like to be remembered as a master of the light saber.

Thank you for the opportunity to coalesce my thoughts on this topic!

Sent by Peggy Carey | 6:40 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be remembered that I loved my Lord with all my heart, soul, mind & strength & I truly desired to be obedient to His will & way.

Sent by Vicky Mitchell | 7:40 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be remembered as being an individual, being different, always keeping my glass half full, dancing when everyone is watching, crying in solitude, loving life and nature, but most of all...making people laugh. That has been my greatest joy.

Sent by teri g | 7:48 PM ET | 06-24-2008

What will be my legacy? What mark will I make? How do I want to be remembered? The question is vast and yet so simple. My mother always told me that I should contribute to society. These words reverberated loudly in my head for many years and I was always under the impression that I would make a tangible contribution like inventing a cure for cancer or writing a New York Times best seller. The contribution would be big, my legacy would be big and it would be felt. Not until I got into the working world did I realize that my contribution would be small, nothing like I had imagined. I was not going to be a famous writer or invent something extraordinary or work with the President or be the President. I now know that my legacy will be the memories of the day-to-day contributions I have made to those around me. My family will remember me as we all pulled together to get through cancer, grief and loss. My stepdaughter and niece will remember the advice I gave them about boys and grades and clothes. Some students of mine will remember how I encouraged them to travel and explore the world. My best friends will remember the bellyache laughing we had, the goofing off, the silly games and the joking. This will be my legacy, the mark I will make, and how I will be remembered. Yet it all feels unsettled. I will not be going out of this world known by many. I will cross over in a whisper and within just a generation or two, my legacy will be lost in a picture or a video image or a couple of words on a page. I would like to be remembered in a bigger way like you, Leroy. Your contribution is huge and you will be remembered by so many. I admire you for this and, I can only hope that you find solace in knowing that what you have done in this Blog has been monumental in making so much more than a mark.

Sent by laurie de Gonz??lez | 7:49 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Touching peoples hearts is the most important thing to me on a daily basis. I don't consciously do it but I know it is a gift that I have - to touch - people in a special way...or at least that is what I am told. So I just try to be me with as many people as possible. I try to tell the truth as I see it, fight against injustice, share my love for life and compassion for others. I mainly try to help another person, to reach out and be vulnerable by sharing myself with others. I just want people to know I care about them and love them. I want to pass my love on to others and be a part of the circle of love. So when I die if I have touched people's hearts through these and other various ways then their heart and soul will carry my essence with them and theirs with me.. The more I do this the more I am at peace and will be at peace in eternity...waiting to say hello to everyone again because their soul will recognize mine since we touched each other on the material plain and can "see" each other now on the spiritual plain. With love to you Leroy. You have and continue to touch my heary every day. You will always live in my heart for as long as I live and beyond dear friend.

Graham from Sag Harbor

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 8:11 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I read your question early in the day Leroy, and it kept coming back to me so here I am late in the day. We have, at this point, to accept what we are and hope we are remembered for our finer qualities. Before diagnosis, the future was still open. We could make our plans, talk about what we wanted to accomplish (how many of you always wanted to write a book that people would love?). But diagnosis reveals the grim reality that we aren't going to make major changes; we have to go with what we have. We're against a wall called Time. That's not to say we can't accomplish good things and become better people; but we're not changing the world in a big way.
To be honest, your blog today saddened me somewhat as I realized I won't be remembered for bringing peace to the world, saving the planet, or waving a wand that makes all reality shows disappear.

I will be remembered as Mom, arbitor of disputes, distributor of sustenance and love, dispenser of wisdom, giver of gifts, and provider of organization and direction in a world of chaos. This is enough for me, even if my kids have to live in a world of reality shows after I'm gone.

Thanks for putting the tough questions and ideas out there, Leroy.

Sent by Marcia Greer | 8:20 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Hi Larry - I've been reading your blog for just about a year. I feel like I know you. I ponder the questions you pose. I reconnect. I feel blessed. I become a better person. Your honesty and courage make me want to be a more honest and courageous person. And then I realized, that is what I want to leave behind. To have had that kind of affect on even just one person, on people I don't know. People I will never know, or know that I have touched their lives in such a meaningful and positive way. That's the mark I want to leave on the world. The mark you have left on me. Thank you Larry.

Sent by Sarah | 8:20 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Dear Leroy, i have heard you several times on npr, this is the first time i have responded. you are amazing...i feel cancer is just a blink away from all of us, you are living it, breathing it fighting it!i send you love each time i hear you, a prayer for healing of the body and peace of mind as far as being remembered, i hope i am thought of as leaving a place just a tiny bit better than i entered it!

Sent by debbie leavenworth | 8:23 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Everybody wants to be remembered as someone who had an impact on the people around him/her and contributed to society somehow - was loved, raised caring children, or created a successful company... The question is, how many people around us share our view of our contributions? The parent who takes pride on having been involved in his children's life might be viewed as a micro-managing tyrant, for instance.

Another question is, how long will people remember whatever you want to be remembered for? My aunt died of cancer nine years ago; her husband passed away two months later. They had no children and were high school teachers. I still remember them - they were my role models. But I doubt many other people do (to any meaningful extent), which saddens me. Do you have strong memories of your high school teachers? I'm not talking about remembering their name - simply, it's been nine years and the people they had touched have lived through so many other things. (I chose a similar career path. I struggle with that issue in my own professional life.)

We all have to think in terms of the long-term impact we want to make beyond our death rather than the eulogy people will give at our burial (mentioned in so many self-help books). How do we fight oblivion? Some people will write a book, or raise children. Others will tell their friends to support this or that cause on their behalf, create a memorial scholarship. So many choices are possible - but we have to consciously pick one while we can, and put all our efforts behind it.

Sent by Aurelie | 8:33 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Wow...The question proposed is one that has been on my mind for many many months. At first I struggled with how I could leave "my mark" on this world- I think I way over thought the issue! I have come to hope that I am simply remembered as a nice, caring person who enjoyed life, family and friends. I especially want to be remembered as a good and loving mom, daughter, sister and wife. I hope to be able to be a fun grandmother someday too! Thank you Leroy.
ps- Joyce- Thanks for the laugh what good answer!!

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 8:45 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Jeannie Tillman
This is the person I want to be. She had more grace, love and compassion than I could ever hope to have http://www.melodioussonnet.com/blog/?page_id=41

We were all trying to be strong for her but she was the one who made us strong. She was never down always had a kind word even when she was at her worst. The last time I was with her, she was smiles all the way.
She was accepted in the College of Music at the University of North Texas, where she quickly warmed her way into the hearts of the North Texas family. They remember her if this way

The Jeannie Tillman Music Education Scholarship has been established at the University of North Texas in honor of Jeannie, who, as a musician and student at the College of Music, had a significant and positive impact at the University of North Texas, and in support of students enrolled in Music Education at the University.

She reached more people and touched more lives in her short life than I will ever come close to
Jason started this blog for her to keep people updated, with out us having to tell the story over and over again. http://www.melodioussonnet.com/blog/

Sent by Brenda | 9:00 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I'd like to be remembered as "the one that didn't turn his back on anyone when he was needed to help and be there."

I was offered an "out" in our relationship but didn't take it, although it would have been an easier (in some ways) trip.

As long as people can look back on us and say definitively that I wasn't a coward, I'm OK.If that's the only way I can touch lives, that's good enough.

Sent by Bruce | 9:02 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want to be remembered as a good mother, a loyal wife, loving daughter and sister. In giving up a career to take care of my family at home, I gave up many ways in which to be remembered in the greater world. Now, my influence and example to my children will be my legacy. I want them to remember me with all my eccentricities. I want them to remember my obsession with science fiction even at the advanced age of 51, my fondness for dauschunds, my love of playing in the surf and my inability to pass a weed by without pulling it up. I want them to remember that I stepped forward to help when the need arose and that I loved them. I don't want them to remembered the sanitized version so often talked about at funerals, I want them to remember "me".

Sent by Chris | 9:05 PM ET | 06-24-2008

To NancyGM--I love your words of wisdom and will keep thinking about them. Thank you.

Sent by Katie | 9:05 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I have suffered a lot physically, and I hope to be remembered as someone who cherished each day and lived each day with gratitude and joy. I want to be remembered as a person who left a small physical footprint in the world, but a large spiritual one.

Sent by Joan Hansen | 9:22 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, good question. I guess that I would want to be remembered as a good mother, daughter, sister, friend and nurse.

I am a widow now but I hope that I would also be remembered as a good wife and caretaker of my husband.

Sent by Marilyn | 9:40 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Death is such an intimate thing, and for whatever reason we keep it at arms' length. While medical residents go through a training period for labor & delivery, there is no equivalent for the dying process- other than days spent with cadavers. Those of us lucky enough to have experienced time with someone dying can walk away with an appreciation for life, unspoken but profound.
I often wish a brave soul would step forward and offer to bring the camera (and us) along with them, at least as far as they can, at the end of their life's journey. As for who will get to have that in their obituary, who knows, maybe me.

Sent by Maureen McEachen | 10:07 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want the folks that knew me to say; "I remember Pete, he may not have been too bright, but he sure made a lot of mistakes" and laugh.

Sent by Pete Daggett | 10:11 PM ET | 06-24-2008

I want my loved ones to remember that I am with them always...we are and always will be a part of each other. I want them to continue to feel loved, nourished and protected by me... and brave enough to live their lives to the fullest without guilt or grief. I hope that their rembrances of me will help them along their path. I hope they continue to feel the love I have for them.

As to me, I hope that I am able to step out of my complacency and laziness and not only extend my hand to help others but actively seek out others who need help and to give my all. I hope for the courage and the ability to stand up for my convictions and to do my part to right wrongs. I think that I have done these things in part, all of my life, but never to the extent that it took me out of my comfort zone. I would like to change that.

Sent by Betty Obst | 10:15 PM ET | 06-24-2008

At times, Burge was worried that he would not be remembered and even wrote down in his day book this verse from Psalm 103:

As for people, their days are like grass;
they flower like the flower of the field;
the wind blows and they are gone
and their place never sees them again.

But Burge will be remembered as a man whose word was his bond; who treated all a like, rich or poor; who met you with a smile & probably a joke; who saved the life of a drowning friend; and who loved his family.

When I meet his friends, they almost always have a story to tell...like when he shut his fingers in the car door and couldn't get the keys out of his pocket...how he helped them with a money loan and never asked for repayment...how he made them feel good about themselves.

Burge will not have to worry about being remembered as long as he lives in the hearts of those who knew him.

As for me, I just want to be responsible for lots of little kindnesses...like a percentage of a penny which, when rounded up over time, amounts to a large difference.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 11:50 PM ET | 06-24-2008

It's pretty late now, and reading everyone's comments has brought on a tear more than once. You know, Leroy, that you will be remembered by all of us here as a wonderful friend who brought us all here together, to make this journey easier.

As for me, when I think of how I want to remembered, I think first of my two beautiful children. I hope they will know how much I loved them and how hard I tried to make their lives as happy as I could. I don't think that I will be remembered as a particularly great wife, unfortunately; there were obstacles that I couldn't seem to overcome. But maybe the love I will leave with my children will help to make up for my other deficiencies.

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 11:53 PM ET | 06-24-2008

Great question which reminds me of a poem I read recently...

"We remember with sorrow all those whom death has taken from our midst, we recall them now with reverence.

In the rising of the sun and its going down, We remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, We will remember them.

In the opening buds and in the rebirth of spring, We remember them.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, We remember them.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, We remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, We will remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength, We will remember them.

When we are lost and are sick of heart,
We remember them.

When we have Joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us,
As we remember them"

For me I think it is the quality of the remembering not just the quantity that counts. If I've loved and made a difference in just one life than that is enough...

Sent by Beth | 12:04 AM ET | 06-25-2008

Leroy,
You have hit the nail on the head.
My hope, my goal is to be and be remembered as a good Christian woman. Rob in Westport got it right. If my Lord welcomes me to have eternal life with Him then I have achieved my goal. I will have done something good in this life. My goal may seem small to some, but in the end it is gigantic! I want to be remembered as a follower of Jesus Christ in word and in deed. God be with you Leroy! You are in my prayers.

Sent by Rita | 1:04 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I would like to think that I have made a lasting enough impression on my grandchildren that they will share stories about me with their grandchildren. The torch passes.

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 1:23 AM ET | 06-25-2008

Dear Leroy,
I remember my nanny (maternal grandmother) for how special she always made me feel. When I was a little girl, she would give me orange juice in a fancy glass when adults were having drinks at parties. She made me and my sisters feel like we were important by including us. I remember the bear hugs she gave me when I would see her. I remember her laugh. I remember her hair and red lipstick and how she loved to dress up. She was such a wonderful positive influence on my life. I have wonderful parents but I think my nanny taught me unconditional love... she just exuded it.

I can see that my parents love my children the same way my nanny loved us. I know she was a great example for them. I know they learned from her how to enjoy grandchildren, how to love, how to make little things special and meaningful.

I am proud to come from her and it is comforting to know that I am a part of her. She has been gone for 16 years but will never be forgotten.

I would like to make the people I love feel the way she made me feel. I guess there are other ways I'd like to be remembered to, maybe doing something to help the larger world or community. However, most important is to love who I have. Everyone will remember something different.

love, jennifer

Sent by Jennifer in CA | 1:44 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I'd like to be remembered with a smile.

Caroline, SF, CA
Cancer Survivor, 5 years

Sent by Caroline, SF, CA | 2:17 AM ET | 06-25-2008

Traffic always makes me think of death, something about being stuck in a car for hours makes my mind wander to darker topics. I got stuck in a lot of traffic today. I want to be remembered for making people laugh, and being wicked smart. I don't know what my mark will be though, I want to leave a mark on everyone I know.

Can you even imagine the mark you are going to leave on everyone, people you don't even know? That makes you larger than life. No one can even compete...

Sent by Rosanne | 3:14 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I want to be remembered as a loving, nurturing, mother,first, best friend to my husband, sister, and parents, loyal,& trusted friend.

Sent by jane | 5:15 AM ET | 06-25-2008

This is a question they use on counselling courses to raise self-awareness of how we and others view ourselves.
As far as it goes with people, I'd like to be loved and missed by my daughter and husband. To be forgiven for my mistakes, and for them to feel their lives were made a bit better for knowing me.
Some times people are remembered in benches in public places - which is a nice thought - but I cringe at the wording they choose as they often refer to the end of their life and not it's totally. More to the disease than to the whole person.
i.e "Name, who died after a long fight"
I wouldnt want that.
I joke with my friends that if they get me a bench then it had better have something else. Something like, "In memory of JJ, a d*mned good snogger!"

Sent by JJ | 5:20 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I thought of my obituary and what it should say. I thought of my parents, grandparents, sisters and their children. And finally I decided the words for me was "She did the best she could".

Sent by Maureen Kennedy | 5:37 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I would like to be remembered as a person who was a good and devoted frend, a person that loved his God, loved his country and loved his family.

Sent by Robert Sheehan | 8:25 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I hope to leave the world just a little better off than when I came into it. I think that some people make large public impacts and some quiet small ones. I hope to be in the latter category having helped a few people in quiet ways to have a better life.

Leroy - I see you in between. This blog us a large public thing touching many people - but each in a private and special way. You will certainly leave the world better off for having been here.

Sent by Geoff | 9:50 AM ET | 06-25-2008

Gulp! Leroy, you sure ask a good question!

I'm an average ordinary woman who happens to reside in the Midwest. I don't have a lot of money, nor do I need a fancy title behind my name. (Not that there's anything wrong with either of those things.)

I would be happy knowing that my family and friends were able to use words like: kind, fun, sweet, sincere, honest, joyful, happy, considerate, generous and determined to describe me. I hope most of these are true at least some of the time. But mostly, I hope that my family and friends will know how deeply I love them! I hope my hubby of 26 years, and still counting, will know that I loved him as much as I can love any person. I hope that I've taught my boys to be good, honest, decent men. I hope my future daughter-in-law knows that I respect and love her. I hope that my granddaughter will always feel that grandma's arms were a great place to find love and comfort, giggles and chocolate!

It's selfish but I hope that they love me enough to remember me throughout their entire life and smile when they think of me.

Rhonda H

Sent by Rhonda Howard | 10:36 AM ET | 06-25-2008

I want to be remembered as a good father, a good husband, a good friend & relative to every one of my family & friends...but most importantly, I want to be remembered as a seeker, someone who didn't accept the superstitions of his age, but tried to find the truths within...I want my kids to emulate that, if they can. I'm not half the man my father was, but I'd be honored if someone cherished my memory, after I'm gone, the way I cherish his.

Sent by Mike Armstrong | 5:42 PM ET | 06-25-2008

I hope I will be remembered at all 40 years after I die. Think of someone you knew who died that long ago--most of you are old enough. For me, it was 1968, so I remember the famous deaths of RFK and MLK, but also 2 kids who died during our senior year of High School in car crashes, and one who died a year later of Cancer. I did not know her well, and do not think of her often, but it certainly made an impression on all of us at the time.
If my family remembers me for awhile, that will be good--as someone funny, who loved them, was intelligent, critical of stupidity, opinionated, loved to play with plants. I really can't see anyone remembering who I was 50 years after I die, but that is okay--the spirit lives forever.

Sent by Rachel the Hospice Nurse | 7:13 PM ET | 06-25-2008

I'd like to be remembered as someone who tried to make a difference in the world, because she cared, but who (at least by middle age) realized that any impact she did make (whether as a wife, mother, daughter, teacher, writer, or animal rescuer) was never as great as the gifts she got back from others, human and animal.

To Scott S.- I appreciated what you said about helping animals. My husband and I rescue feral cats and I work with primates as well, and these projects have added immeasurable meaning to my life, and I know in my heart at least some animals are better off because we cared and acted-- and that is a wonderful way to be remembered (the nonhuman world remembers in its own way).

Sent by Barbara K | 7:54 PM ET | 06-25-2008

First you -- you will be remembered as a great journalist and a person who has inspired many, not just those of us who have had cancer, but all of us committed to social justice and the greater good.
Me, i want to be remembered as someone who loved well, loved my family, my friends, strangers in need, and of course, animals.
love,
Elena

Sent by elena turner | 7:56 PM ET | 06-25-2008

Leroy,

I am so touched by your courage. I am so touched that you single-handedly inspired 150-some people (so far!) to reflect upon the meanings of their lives in a public forum. I will miss your presence in my life.

To answer your question, I would like to be remembered for my social work practice with children and families. For my role in my own family's life. For my efforts to be myself.

Sent by Jen | 10:15 PM ET | 06-25-2008

Wow, what a great question. I guess I would want to be remembered as someone who truly lived her life's motto; She treated everyone the way she wanted to be treated.
And thank you for treating us like friends. This, you will be remembered for.

Sent by Karen | 9:45 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy - This year my mother-in-law was diagnosed with acute leukemia. My Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. I never thought about it, cancer I mean. I guess it catches us all of guard. I'm sure no one is every ready to hear "you have caner". How people deal with it is the real test. Though I have only heard you speak a couple of times on NPR, you are a true role model. They way you speak about cancer, your cancer, all of our cancer, is the most heroic... You are heroic. That is how you will be remembered. God Bless You.

Sent by Jason White | 10:16 AM ET | 06-26-2008

To tell you the truth, this was hard to think about as I recalled the ups and downs of my 56 years. What will my sons, now in their twenties, recall? My husband? How will they describe me to future grandchildren? I hope that the good memories that I carry have been transmitted to them, so that they will share with each other and the next generations. I hope that family, friends, and colleagues will each have warm memories that I tried my hardest to be a people person, to reach out, to make connections where they might do the most good, and trying always to do the right thing. I hope that they will place my failings in a perspective that I tried to do the best I could at that time. If I could pick one phrase, this is what I used to say to my sons when either my husband or I returned from business trips, "It's not about the presents, it's about the love."

Sent by Sheara | 10:31 PM ET | 06-26-2008

I would like for people to remember that I always search for something to love in everyone I meet and that, having found it, I celebrated and treasured it.

Take good care of yourself, Leroy.

Sent by Gyla | 11:00 AM ET | 06-27-2008

If I were to die tomorrow, I will be most missed by my wife and children.

As the years pass, the details of what I was like will fade. I will probably be remembered by my wife as a good husband who, though had streaks of laziness (and took twice longer than she would have on any task), was a hard worker. I will be remembered by my often failed attempts at humor, my obnoxious snoring, and by how easily a tear-jerker movie would make me cry.

My children will remember me as a grown up kid who liked many of the games and movies they liked. Yet they will also remember my often boring, repetitive "life lessons" and reprimands. They will probably most fondly remember the times we played out in the backyard or playing boardgames.

The memory of me would probably, eventually be a vague image of a smiling face of a carefree guy who wasn't perfect but who wanted them to be the best they could be.

Sent by Andrew in Ohio | 1:32 PM ET | 06-27-2008

I will go to Harvard and become rich via business. From there, I will create my own orphanage and charity. Then, I will write my own personal manifesto of the world and my autobiography, as well as many novels along the journey of life. In this way, I will be remembered as an amazing revolutionary personal

Sent by The Chose One | 3:26 AM ET | 07-24-2008