Leroy:
You said, "I've learned something far more important, too. No matter what happens, we're all in this together."
This "togetherness" that we have here is a Support group, a group that you started, and maintain with your daily writings and our responses.
The support you provide me is added to the support I get at the weekly meetings here in Maryland. I'm storing it all up for the time when I will need it.

The Courage to Smile
Why am I here?
I'm not in pain; I'm listening to pain!
Gerry's lung, John's tongue,
David's breathingway, Angela's blood,
My..... what?? My Prostate is repaired. I don't belong!

Joan says I'm a Philanthropist,
Austin says I'm a People Person.
I would love if it were so, but it's not.
Then why am I here?

They go around the table, one at a time- How was your week?
Well, there was a lot of pain this week,
But not as much as last week!
And they finish with a smile!

Bob's in Hospice now, I barely knew him-
What do I remember most about Bob........ his smile.
David and Gerry.... they both smile, sometimes with a shadow... but smiles nevertheless.
Angela and John- newcomers learning to laugh, creases appearing around the mouth.

Listening, watching, thinking--NOW I know why I'm here!
Because, someday, I may need to know how to smile through pain.
I try to remember, to store up in me something of their courage, their tenderness--
To use when it is my turn---
My turn to Smile!!

Love, Don

Sent by don winslow | 7:36 AM ET | 06-26-2008

The photo gallery on the NPR site to day is so wonderful! The faces are fabulous and the words shared are such precious insights. Thank you for this amazing gift.

Sent by Laura | 7:36 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
I did not know what "alone" meant until Neil passed. I come here because this is where I find comfort, strength, support and love. This is where I am not alone. I moved here to be with Neil hoping for a few precious months and maybe years with him. I got four months and for that I will be eternally grateful. Neil was not alone in his battle, like you, he fought with courage and bravery. I was a part of that and I thank God daily that I was there for him. Neil is my hero!
Thank you all for what you continually give to me and all the others...hope!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:47 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Amen Leroy! No one travels their road alone ... ever.

Sent by Pat Z. | 7:49 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I listened instead of read today's entry. Beautifully said!

Sent by Susan | 7:51 AM ET | 06-26-2008

We do not walk alone, even though it feels like a lonely journey sometimes.

Thank you for being a friend.

Much love to you and Laurie,

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 7:55 AM ET | 06-26-2008

You're in my thoughts every day, along with all the others...this blog has meant so much to so many.
Thanks.

Sent by Jack B | 8:00 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, until a person is touched by cancer you don't really understand how many people are walking this road. This blog has been a refuge for us wheather the person with the cancer or caregiver. Thank you so much for shareing this with us. I am also sorry that you have reached a point where you are dealing with so much right now. Please, draw strength from all of us. I will continue to keep both you and Laurie amd all those many others that are traveling this road in my prayers.

Sent by dorothy in Oregon | 8:04 AM ET | 06-26-2008

This is The Resistance, and you have soldiered on beyond the generals' plans. You have earned pain-free moments on the trail, and Bravo Company's enduring respect by poking this Evil in the eye at every turn. Then you surprise us by calmly scraping the mud off your boots and sending back these reports as though it was all in a day's work. Reports which in their touching and steadfast character have transformed the war.

Sent by Mark Underwood | 8:12 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Good Morning Dear Leroy~ Looking forward to, and reading your VERY deep and sad words this morning, it came to me all of a sudden ~ ~ Do you know what you have done with your daily "My Cancer" Journals? You have transported our thoughts and concerns from OURselves and OUR problems in dealing with this dread disease, and csused us to think, and care about others as we never probably thought possible. Folks we have never met and yet we have become "BONDED" in very special ways.
You have taken our minds off our own worries and made us reach out to new friends and as you said in your last eloquent line,made us reealize, "We are all in this together and None of us walk this road alone". Beautiful Leroy!

Sent by J C R | 8:16 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Thank-you for sharing all that you do. It helps me feel that I am not alone as I deal with what life has handed me. Hugs and warm fuzzies to you and Laurie
Thinking of you.
Annette

Sent by Annette | 8:20 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,

What can I say, you and everyone on this blog are in my prayers and thoughts daily. You have been an inspiration and you must know that you have touched so many lives by sharing yours.

Thank you,

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 8:24 AM ET | 06-26-2008

The photos are beautiful and just wonderful!!!! Thank you so much! GodSpeed

Sent by sarah | 8:25 AM ET | 06-26-2008

In these two years you have brought more hope and comfort to those fighting the beast and those who love and care for them that anyone alive. I began reading your blog in late February 2007 after my wife was diagnosed with state IV lung cancer. I cannot express how often you have put words to my feelings, my fear and despair and my hope and sense of joy. My wife could not read the blog often but always wanted to know how you were doing and, when things were bad for her, she took some comfort in knowing that you had survived and prospered through even tougher experiences. Debbie died on April 7th, 2008 when her cancer "exploded" after several months of seeming remission. I still read your blog every day and I pray for you and Laurie to have the peace and comfort that you have brought others.

You and the other contributors to this blog have made a lonely and painful road more traveled and somewhat easier to bear. God Bless everyone who is fighting this beast and the ones who are caring for them. Perhaps the old philosopher was wrong...that which kills you in fact does make you stronger.

Tim in Houston

Sent by Tim Broussard | 8:25 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, Cancer is certainly a double edged sword! I'm writing a congratulatory note to you on celebrating the two year anniversary of your blog. Making it to two years is a great accomplishment when you were given a prognosis of 6 months. You are a very strong guy to defy those odds!!

But I have tears in my eyes when I read about how far your Cancer has advanced! The beast is so relentless!
I'm keeping you in my prayers today and always! And you are so right, Leroy, we are not on this path in Cancer World alone. The community you have created here is awesome!

Laurie, You are a fellow traveler whom we have all grown to love also. I know that this two year anniversary is bittersweet for you. But I hope that you and Leroy can find a way to celebrate and maybe even find a laugh or two. Perhaps a toast with the little unbrellas and a chocolate cupcake or two!

To All, As Leroy comtinues his journey and we continue our own, he has set the bar high for us to follow! We will put one foot in front of the other and take one day at a time. I had Chemo yesterday and my current therapy is tough. So the next 5 days, at least, will be a challenge. But I have Leroy's star to follow and I know that we are all in this together. God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 8:25 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Yes. I come to this blog to feel less alone. To put my own suffering in perspective.

Leroy, even though you were wrong to be optimistic in that time after the spine battle and before your latest scans, I'm glad you were. I think it probably made those days happier ones for you than if you had just been worried that you'd be in the spot where you now are, you know? Sometimes a little ignorance is not a bad thing....

Anyway, I'm glad that you are still posting honestly about where you are and how you feel and your worries after two years. That alone is such a great gift--to those of us who read what you write, I mean!

Sent by N.R. | 8:31 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, I heard the passage of two years in your voice this morning. But, most importantly, it was you, here with us and speaking to us! Thanks to Beth Novey for the wonderful photo gallery. So many beautiful faces. An outpouring of love, devotion and spirit...I read each caption with tears streaming down onto my keyboard. Love to all.

Sent by Sheara | 8:36 AM ET | 06-26-2008

The pictures are amazing! The blog is amazing! You are all amazing!

Sent by Liz L. | 8:40 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Thank you Leroy. You have been my guiding light during my cancer passage in life. I read your blog every morning and this morning on my way to work, I heard your voice on the radio. What a treat! Your journey and how you write about it has meant so much to me and others. Thank you, thank you. You have given us all the courage to face what we will all need to face with grace and humor. My love and prayers are with you and Laurie and you begin another part of your journey.

Sent by Kathy W. | 8:43 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,
I can't thank you enough for your courage. I can't see through my tears. Peace, peace, peace Leroy. Namaste.
Susan

Sent by Susan | 8:51 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Good morning Leroy,
Todays letter brings up old memories for me. I am glad you do not feel alone. There are very many bloggers who pray every day for you. I am inspired by you each morning Leroy. I am so glad I have met you through this blog. Yea cancer sucks, but the truly beautiful thing that the cancer has yielded is this blog. This blog will be a great legacy to you, and will serve as a template for others suffering, and looking for a way to just live for another day.
I'm praying for you brother.

Sent by Donato S. | 8:55 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Mr. Siever, I am writing this just because I think you will enjoy it. You see, I've only heard you on Morning Edition and never seen a picture. Over the past couple of years I have always assumed, by the sound of your voice, that you were a 6'2", middle-class, well-educated,formerly athletic, black man. Imagine my surprise when I finally saw your picture! Your plain talk about the current situation is appreciated and I wish you the best. An 11th hour commutation of sentence would be nice. On a philosophical note, our lives are measured by our effect on those around us. Have we been a Net Positive or Negative (let's face it we're only human and everyone slips sometimes)? I'm willing to bet you have been a Net Positive. Ultimately that is what counts. Congratulations, you have pushed the world to a better place. Thank you. GNB

Sent by Gary N Barton | 8:57 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I wish I was a person who was good with words but I'm not. But you are my cheerleader. I read your blog every morning when I come to work and you are there to let me know that I am not alone and that you know what I'm going through. I pray for you and for your family. Be well and have faith. Linda

Sent by Linda | 8:57 AM ET | 06-26-2008

It's terrible to be two, but sometimes we're still cute.

Hold Fast

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 9:06 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,

Words get in the way on a day like today.

Through your courage and dignity you have taught us how to face the unknown....thank you for that and so much more.

Linda

Sent by Linda | 9:07 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Abe taught me how to live, how to love, and how to die. His multiple myeloma was the lens that focused those lessons in the last months of our life together. I am grateful for the joy that was condensed into a scintillating ball of bright energy by the brevity of his life. Cancer does that.

Sent by Cathy | 9:10 AM ET | 06-26-2008

OK, I have to admit, between the post and the photo gallery, you made me cry at work.

Thankfully nobody saw.

Beautifully done, Leroy.

Laurie H: I know the alone feeling, but I'm fortunate to be a person who doesn't mind being alone--I do mind being lonely, however. I'm grateful for not feeling lonely during the last 18 months or so. A lot of that is owed to this space.

Sent by Bruce | 9:11 AM ET | 06-26-2008

It was so nice to hear your voice today. And I do think this entry was in many ways a celebration. That you made it here to the 2 year mark against the odds and you still have fight in you. That your voice sounds as strong and clear and your words are as eloquent, wise and powerful as ever. That you've built this cherished blog community of support. Congratulations for all these amazing things and for taking such a unique and beautiful path.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 9:13 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, this is a hard time and I am so sorry. You can be proud of this community, though. Your honesty and courage and touched me. In love, Susan

Sent by Susan J. Jordan | 9:19 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy, I am glad you are walking this road with your head high and eyes wide open. I can't imagine the stress you are under and I can't help but marvel at your dignity and grace. I hope the palliative care you receive works, more than anything. You've been in so much pain and discomfort lately that it's been hard to read. So often I have no words. Just know that at least one more person is out there reading even if she doesn't comment every day.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:21 AM ET | 06-26-2008

What you said...Amen...love you

Sent by Diana Santamaria | 9:25 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I am glad you do not walk alone. I am glad you let all of us walk with you. I don't have a support system like you do. I am quiet and reserved and people think I am self-sufficient because of it. I couldn't answer the question "how do you want to be remembered?" because being alone at such a vulnerable time creates enormous self-doubt. I may not be remembered. My life task is to ride the roller coaster I am faced with inhaling on the long uphills so I have enough breath to scream on the downhill. If I accomplish that each day I have lived. I saw a saying the other day that made me laugh. It said, "Live your life so that every morning Satan looks up and says "Oh no - she's awake!" May your journey always be one of wonder!

Sent by Gete | 9:25 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
I'm heartbroken to hear your in pain but touched by your strength to move ahead and continue with a blog that has helped so many. I find such comfort in your messages each day. I hope you can find some comfort knowing so many people are out here pulling for you.

Sent by alison | 9:28 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Cancerland is a lonely, stressful and sad place sometimes. We are all here with you.

Sent by Elizabeth from Brooklyn | 9:29 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Mr. Sievers:
I woke to your commentary on the radio this morning and did not move until it was over.

I have no words to describe what I feel expect "Thank you". Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Thank you for your constant bravery. Thank you for helping me see that every part of life is a lesson taught and a new path taken. Blessings to you and your family!

Sent by Christie Jones Aden | 9:34 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,

Today you did not make me cry - you are just stating facts and horrendous facts; yet you still have hope and with all of us out here hoping and praying something good should come out of this. If just less pain for a while - I would think that would be good.
Much love to you and Laurie
Janice Goldberg White

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 9:50 AM ET | 06-26-2008

As a social worker I want to do something to help you. As a social worker in the PICU I've learned sometimes the best I can do is be there. Praying for you in Chicago.

Sent by Lisa | 9:50 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy:

It was so good to hear your voice again this morning on Morning Edition. We all take strength from your words, oral and written. Love and prayers to you and Laurie, always.

Sent by Marsha Hogarth | 9:53 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Everyone else said it best. We are all here.

Big Hugs,

Lori

Sent by Lori | 9:54 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I wish I could express what I feel like you do so well. I'm sorry you have to go through this but there are so many of us right here behind you.

Sent by Lisa Y | 10:00 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy:
It's so good to hear your voice.

Sent by Kathy | 10:01 AM ET | 06-26-2008

You are so correct in that we do not walk this path alone....for the last two years that's a fact thanks to you! Sometimes in the dead of night when the "mind demons" come to visit, it can seem that we are all alone. But when the first glimmer of the new day comes and the darkness recedes, our optimism and Hope reappear. And so it goes......in the cancerworld.

I realize that your situation is not good. I hope and pray that you choose to remain optimistic and hopeful....this choice is better than the opposite.

Our prayers and energy continue unabated. Know always you'll NEVER be alone in this journey. Could we take some of your burdens, we would, gladly!

Sent by Al Cato | 10:12 AM ET | 06-26-2008

You have made such an enormous impact on my life. Thank you Leroy, we are with you.

ps- What photos are our friends refering to???

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 10:13 AM ET | 06-26-2008

You are very brave man. Know that so many many people care about you and have found solace in your blog. Thank you.

Sent by Michelle | 10:14 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I cannot see the pictures, how do I see them??

Sent by fay | 10:15 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,

Your wisdom touches even those of us who do not suffer from cancer. I live with MS, and many of your struggles speak to me--pain, loss of control, the hope before scans, the sorrow and the uplifting experience of finding that, yes, we do have the strength to keep going and yes, life is worth living, even when it comes with pain.

As you say, none of us is alone. We all walk this path some day. Thank you for your hard work and wise words. May God bless you on your homegoing.

Sent by Maggie | 10:15 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,

I want you to know that, even as a person who has not yet suffered from cancer, reading your blog makes me live my life better and love you more than if you'd decided never to have written. It explains the feelings behind my mother's battle with multiple sclerosis and my own battle with anorexia. It explains what matters and what it means to be human. For anyone who has ever faced a debilitating disease, your words give us dignity, pride, and release. Thank you, Thank you.

My heart is full for you. We could all aspire to be a bit more like Leroy!

Sent by Jaclyn | 10:16 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Larry,
I lost my dear husband in January and my boss in May, both after years of cancer struggle. It happened with them as with you: a sudden explosion after a time of control. This mortality thing is difficult to believe let alone understand. Thank you for sharing your story. You know that we love you now, don't you?

Sent by Irene E. McDermott | 10:19 AM ET | 06-26-2008

My thoughts are with you everyday. Thank you for being you and helping all of us face this heartbreaking task that nags us every day. With care and courage.

Sent by anne lumberger | 10:24 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dearest Leroy: How can it be only two years that you started the blog. It seems as if I have known you for so much longer.

I liked your choice of words about the blog. "Rufuge" is exactly what is means to me and so many others who need someone to reach out to...even those of us with loving families. At times it takes someone who is walking the same road to truly understand and often, helping another in the same situation lightens the load.

In many ways, this has become my "support" group for grief. I know that wasn't the original intention, but it has none the less become so for me. Without a place to check in daily, my life would be so much more lonely. I know others are there, even if I don't know their faces, I know their names, their hearts and that is a wonderful connection.

As always, you and Laurie are in my heart and may today be one of the good days.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 10:24 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
Congratulations on your 2 years! That's 18 months of keeping the Beast down.

I found your blog a year after Pat died, he's been gone 3 years now. It's a very healing place for me. Here I can talk about my experiences as caregiver which hopefully can help someone.

But it also has given me a peak into what Pat was going through. He wasn't much of a talker so I would take my cues from him. I had a need to talk, cry, whatever but I did so privately most of the time. It was his journey, not mine, so I respected that he usually didn't want to talk.

This space you have created gives everyone a chance to connect in such a personal way that is so helpful. No can possibly feel alone after 'joining' this club that no one ever wanted to join.

Thank you for giving us this gift, Leroy.

Kathy B.

Sent by Kathy B. | 10:26 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, Do you find writing the Blog has helped you with acceptance? None of us know when our time is at its end. However, I think us with cancer have death in our forethoughts more than others. Keep taking meds to keep yourself comfortable. Know you are always in our thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Carolyn Mohaupt | 10:32 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, thank you for letting us walk with you.. So many people choose to walk alone.. I am very glad you don't..

Prayers to you and Laurie today!!

Sent by Patsy Elmore | 10:35 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy...you are right, none of us walk this road alone. And, thanks to you, the road's smooth surface and open vistas have been brightened by your leading light.

Thank you for your generous sharing and thanks too to Laurie and all who help bring your words to us.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 10:38 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Here is how you can make this episode of life meaningful to those who read your words. Walk us through your experience, not just the facts, but through the thoughts, the emotions. We all have to walk this walk. Maybe you can make it easier for us by telling it like it is. This could be a final gift, the essence of this experience.

Sent by judy | 10:39 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, The Battle is still raging, I know your choices are limited and at some point there will be none. But the strength you give cannot be measured.

Bravery is mostly measured on the Field of Battle with bullets flying; our battle is no less dangerous and requires plenty of bravery. You and Laurie have so much to give and so much to experience--I can see more time for you!

My disease,like yours, seems to go where it wants, my choices too are getting limited. The question I have is why so much paperwork, affairs in order, etc. ?? Hard to deal wtih the weakness of your body--- when your mind still thinks like a linebacker.

Many Thoughts. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 10:44 AM ET | 06-26-2008

My mother has just been diagnosed with lung cancer and I've been doing all of the expected research, am so happy to have stumbled across your blog and look forward to walking the rest of your journey with you. I'm also hoping to meet some new friends who'll guide me through this terrifying time with me and my family.

Blessing to you..

Sent by Michele | 10:46 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Morning Leroy and everyone,
The photo gallery was a little tricky to get to. I went to the main NPR page and searched on "gallery." It's a wonderful montage and I enjoyed "meeting" Nikki and Burge. But only 32 out of 400! I hope there will be more editions.

I started reading your blog after seeing the TV special. I had no idea that a year later I would be diagnosed with stage 1 Breast Cancer. I did not know I had to do that to join Leroy's army, but here we are. Thank you for each day.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 10:49 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
You have meant a lot to me.
What an amazing fight you have waged.
I wish you much physical and spiritual comfort.
Thank you.

Sent by Laura | 10:55 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I awoke to your voice this morning. I cried. You'er correct. We are not alone.

Sent by Janell | 10:58 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Since you shared the results of your last test I have struggled to know what to say. Yesterday my mother who will be 79 on Saturday got great news about her metastasized lung cancer. It's essentially unchanged for eighteen months. Her oncologist is so amazed he brought students in to see her. And that gives me more time to heal what has been a 56 year difficult relationship. I also firmed up what I wanted to share with you. Let the people who love you help you every way you need them to and that they can. Continue to pray for miracles and grace and know we are praying for that too. Mom will make three years in September, we'll hope for that for you.

Sent by Dianna Austin | 10:59 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
We may not be alone, but there are times that i have never felt more alone in my life.
Actually this is meant for Laurie and all the other significant ones touched by this horror as much as it is for you.
My husband of almost 24 years, died this past september of pancreatic cancer. We met you, leroy, during your January 06 radiation treatments.

My husband was my spark, the light in my life. I remember you saying that one of the hard parts was not being able to really reassure us( the loved ones standing by feeling helpless) that it would be ok. I never told you how much that acknowledgement helped me. You probably dont even remember the day. While others in the room were trying to minimize the hardship and struggle, you understood. Ken did too but it was always his nature to look on the bright side. He did thru to the end.
Truthfully the main reason i go on is because Ken fought so hard to live that anything less would be an insult to his memory.
My heart and prayers go out to both of you as this journey continues.
Leroy, you have touched so many people i hope that we can continue to give back until the "end of all time." Laurie, please know that we are out here for you too.

Sent by Maureen | 11:00 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, you are like a cuddly teddy bear that we all snuggle with when things aren't going well; when we are afraid and lonely. Thank you for being brave for the rest of us.

Sent by Marilyn Cowles | 11:02 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Thank for giving us a place where people understand what it is all about. You and Laurie are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 11:07 AM ET | 06-26-2008

dear leroy - you have given so many people comfort and honesty simultaneously - a hard task to accomplish. you are a daily inspiration and always touch my heart. much love and strength to you and laurie today.

Sent by liz | 11:13 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Thank you for your words and for the pictures today.....what a profound impact you have made to so many of us. Walk in peace and light...love to you and Laurie and us all. Thank you...

Sent by Karen | 11:18 AM ET | 06-26-2008

I don't know what I would do without you, Leroy, and all of you on this blog. I sometimes feel so lonely, afraid, and sad and you are my sanctuary and my place of peace.
Beth - the display of photos is beautiful-thank you for this gift.
Sasha - how are you? I'm thinking of you.

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 11:20 AM ET | 06-26-2008

The photos are beautiful. So many wonderful people dealing with a horrid diagnosis with dignity. They and you are true heroes

Sent by Marcia Greer | 11:30 AM ET | 06-26-2008

What a victory! Two years when they said 3-6 months. That alone is a win!

Sent by DiAnn | 11:34 AM ET | 06-26-2008

To Fay and Susie R - you can see the photos at NPR's home page - NPR.org. They are truly wonderful! I hope you've found them by now.

Leroy, prayers for you and Laurie as always. I'm glad you're walking with this group. Peace to all.

Sent by Laura | 11:36 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Hearing your voice helped me today. Thank you for giving all of us this refuge. Thank you for not leaving us alone, even in your pain & distress. Peace, my friend. God be with you.

Sent by Kate in CO | 11:38 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Your gift of this blog to those who would otherwise walk this journey alone is priceless. For that you will always be remembered with love. Thank you, Leroy.

To those who asked about the photos: Go to the main My Cancer blog page and you'll find Beth's entry just below today's post from Leroy.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 11:46 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Today is the 2 year anniversary which is 1 year and 6 months longer than you expected to be with us....yes the road has been hard..but look at all the people you have touched and even with your cancer exploding as you say..so is the love that we all have for you and hope that their is pain relief, but most of all that in this fight you find peace in just knowing you cheated cancer and lasted 1 year and 6months and counting longer than it had planned.
Love you Leroy,

Sent by Miriam | 11:49 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Bless you Leroy, you are not alone, we are never alone. Good thoughts and much prayers to you for your journey. Thanks to Beth for the beautiful pictures and very touching words of every one. Thank you. Have a peaceful day, without pain.
Peace be with you, Laurie and Beth.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly Young | 11:51 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Almost 11:00 AM in Chicago and 71 comments. WOW the pictures... we have to keep this going, the some LA member now have faces.

I feel I should say CONGRATULATIONS! on the blog's 2 year anniversary, yet I hear resignation in the tone of today's post. You are not alone, I feel so much a part of a wonderful community of fighters, survivors and care givers.

I love you all. Stay strong as possible and safe.

Sent by Sue Chap | 11:51 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Congratulations to all of us! For me, your blog has been a daily source of strength.You and Stephanie and so many others who have written so eloquently here are noble spirits whom I'll never forget.Thank you.

Sent by Doris | 11:52 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Good morning Leroy and Laurie! Thanks so much for the wonderful pictures, but thanks even more for the words. We forge ahead, following as closely with you as each of us can. We all strive to be bravely beside you both!

Sent by Linda Lee | 11:55 AM ET | 06-26-2008

Thank you for sharing those thoughts. Sending strength and support your way.

Sent by Anita Apodaca | 12:01 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Hi Leroy,
Thanks for the reminders of what's important.

Sent by LindaK | 12:01 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
Thanks for continuing these, I am cycling and raising cancer$$$ with the Lance Armstrong Fdntn Sunday - you'll be in my thoughts ......... PLM(Oregon)

Sent by Paul L.M. | 12:02 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,

Thanks for building your army. Thanks for demonstrating the strength to be honest, honest, honest (not sugary, not sappy, not trite) about your life with cancer.

-A fan of Leroy's Army

Sent by Anna | 12:15 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
I started reading your column about the time you started it because my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. You have been such a blessing by helping me to understand what my mom was going through. I have been able to have conversations with her that I'm sure would not have happened because I would have not a clue how to approach them. Like you, my mother had recess for a while but the cancer has come back in other parts of her body. She's dealing with that now as best as she can. Thank you for writing about your illness, your writing has been a great blessing! Praying for you and my mom.

Sent by Angela | 12:19 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Thank you.

Sent by bettye | 12:37 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Thanks to YOU, Leroy, we are not alone. I hope you know what a great gift you have given all of us - -helped us to create a community within which we can share what we are all going through. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us - - and great thanks to Laurie, too, for supporting your doing so.

With much love and respect, Suzanne

Sent by Suzanne in Houston | 12:39 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy and All,

Love to you. Would I give cancer back for all that I have learned from it? YES. Am I grateful for what I have learned? YES. It has been a privilege to share this road with such amazing people and we're not done yet. Got to keep running, walking, staggering, or crawling along, whatever our particular burden may be at this moment. It is indeed a blessing to look over on this road and see others beside you who understand. I pray for healing and comfort for all of us and our loved ones. Leroy, you're one of my favorite people in the WORLD. I think of you and Laurie often. Love and prayers, always.

Sent by Connie | 12:46 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,

It's not how long we live, but how we live. Damn, you're good at this!

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 1:02 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Thank you Larry and NPR. I am new to Cancer World as of 9/11/07...my own 9/11. I began "Andy's First Ever Cancer Journal" soon after. So far it is private.
Heard about the Cancer Blog on morning Edition this morning. I shall be a reader from here on in.

Sent by And rew Russ | 1:02 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Your Right Leroy. You are not alone. I fine it utterly amazing most of us here have not met you in person. But I have the utmost respect for you as a man as well as for what you have created and given to all of us here.
My thoughts are with you and Laurie. As well as prayers from here.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 1:10 PM ET | 06-26-2008

I listened to your words on NPR this morning as I was driving to the Wilmot Cancer Center in Rochester, NY. As I drove, the tears flowed....hearing about your continued optimism before hearing the pessimistic test results. I have always tried to have the same optimism....but now after 13 years....and the cancer metastasizing throughout my body (despite numerous radiation and chemo rounds) I must face the reality of it all. I sit now in the chemo center with my laptop while receiving the chemo treatment that basically keeps me alive, so I can spend one more day with my friends and family... and especially my little granddaughter who will grow up with out this grandma to cheer her on throughout her life.
Reading your blog will now become one of my daily activities.
Thank you!
I wish you the best as we continue on this journey through cancer.

Sent by Kathi | 1:13 PM ET | 06-26-2008

What a beautiful June day! May all live and embrace it thoroughly. And when tomorrow comes please contine the joy. One day at a time is all it takes, Leroy and Laurie. May "ODAT" carry on as long as anyone of you need.

Sent by Lucy | 1:30 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, Hope you have not given up the drums. I gave you drum lessons in Alhambra, CA at the music store Barry & Grasmueck when you were in grade school. You have a natural gift for the instrument. Peter Miller

Sent by Peter Miller | 1:43 PM ET | 06-26-2008

I listened to the segment this morning while on the way to a conference. I almost had to pull over because my eyes were watering. It was 11 months ago that I lost my Grandfather and name-sake to Lung Cancer. We had expected it, but it came very very quickly.
My comments aren't so much to the many cancer sufferers out there, but to the "Silent victims" out there. The friends and family. Take the time to call, write, visit, whatever you can do. It not only helps them, but it will help you. The last time I spoke with my grandfather was a week before he passed. We got the call Thursday morning, and by Thursday afternoon had our flight booked, but before we got the the airport he had passed. I wish I had taken more time to talk to him.

His last words to me I now pass on to everybody here: "Stay Healthy"

Sent by Frank Barton | 1:44 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Happy Anniversary, Leroy! What a gift you have been to all of us. Thank you for your dedication to this blog especially the days when I suspect it may have difficult to tend to. Our family has grown over the past 24 months with new members welcomed every day. You have impacted so many lives on many different levels. You have given us a soft,safe place to land during the chaos. You have given us a place where our voices are heard and also where we can listen to others. You have given us a place to reach out and to be held on to.I look forward to tomorrow and the beginning of a new year of your blog.

Sent by Penny Coeur d'Alene, Idaho | 1:48 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,

I'm a long time listener of NPR so have heard a number of your commentaries. I was saddened to hear this morning that your disease has progressed. I wish you all the best and thank you for your courage and honesty in the face of a frightening situation. I am three and a half years out from treatment for Hairy Cell Leukemia, a very treatable malignancy. But like you, I learned many things. Certainly that the diagnosis is probably harder on those around us than us. Secondly, that we are never alone.

Randy

Sent by Randy Johnson | 1:56 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,

Your commentary brought me back to my mother's passage through cancer. I recognized the moment you are at, and, instead of sadness, I am overcome with a profound sense of gratitude.

Thank you Leroy Siever for having the courage and the grace to share your journey with us. You have helped more people than you will ever know. You remind me that life is now and is most meaningfully lived now.

God Bless you, your family and friends, and Godspeed.

Sent by Damon Moore | 2:11 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Hi Leroy,

I think two years is a victory and I pray you keep going!

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 2:22 PM ET | 06-26-2008

It saddens me deeply that your cancer has progressed, it gives my soul a lift that you are still going forward. My cancer is my Mom's cancer, she got sick around the same time as you and your blog has brought me great comfort. We never even knew she was sick, she suddenly had a stroke, turned out to matastic lung cancer that spread to her brain, they optimistically gave her 8 to 10 weeks, she passed away 6 weeks later after a 2nd stroke. I am a long time NPR listener and have clung to your blog entries as comfort, due to my Mom's passing I have had to take on alot of responsibilites, like taking care of my elderly grandmother, and have not been able to really morn her. I just keep going on. I try to keep my head up, even when it's so very, very hard to do so. I miss her everyday. I just wanted to say thank you for all you have done for me, we have never met, but I feel as though we are friends. Please take care of yourself.

Sent by Wendy Barniak | 3:02 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Yes, I agree Leroy. Here we are holding each others' hands, sometimes gritting our teeth to get through another day of life. Thank you for holding my hand and for being someone who can honestly express what a life with cancer is like. Janie

Sent by Janie | 3:03 PM ET | 06-26-2008

LeRoy,
Your blog has helped me through breast cancer, a recurrence scare,and my husband asking for a divorce a month after finishing chemotherapy.
I now am helping my sister and brother-in-law get through his journey with ALS.
You and Lori have become dear friends to me even though I have not written very often.
I hope you can get those papers in order quickly.
I pray you find peace with this part of your journey.
I pray for you and you all every day.
Thank-you for not quitting this Blog. I think of myself as strong but do not think I could have been so unselfish to continue writing daily.
I love you LeRoy and Lori,
Joyce

Sent by joyce | 3:17 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, I've felt honored to be among those here who have shared our lives, our fears, hopes, stories and our cancer experiences. It's been a club of sorts....one where we talk about what we, as cancer patients have in common, and how we learn to cope with it, heal from it, and sometimes, die because of it. I don't think that there are any more profound lessons to learn in life than those that we've shared here, because of you, your clarity, your skill as a writer, and your ability to plow ahead, even in difficult times. Your generosity of spirit has been the campfire that has drawn us all together, and which sheds light on these issues that previously, many of us would have had to grapple with alone. I believe the saying that a burden shared is a burden lightened. I suppose it's no mistake that you're such a large man with great shoulders. You've lightened considerably the burdens of thousands you've never met. Thank you my friend, and thanks to Laurie, and to the staff at NPR that labor mightily, I'm sure, to keep this blog an open channel.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 3:18 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,
You are right, we don't walk the cancer road alone. The support from my close friends and those I barely know, my family, near and far, has kept me going. One woman who gave me rides to my treatments, always seemed to take me on the day I had extra long visits. Once I had to be admitted to the hospital and she spent 7 hours in the ER with me while they tried to find a room in a very full hospital (flu season). I hope that I can pay back all the love and support I received by paying it forward.

Your blog definitely pays it forward!

Sent by Margaret | 3:20 PM ET | 06-26-2008

It has been an honor to spend a moment of each day with you Leroy.

Save a dance for me!!

Carrie

Sent by carrie Belair | 3:41 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy - so wonderful to hear your voice today at 2 years!!! Hope you hear our voices whispering in your head "go Leroy", "we love you", "we're here for you no matter what", "we're so very thankful for you"!
We're all in this together!

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 3:52 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, Thank you for your words. My brother, who is just 39 with two children under the age of 6, has Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. After fighting for three months, the doctors are telling us to get his "papers in order" as well. Cancer World feels very alone until your words are read.

Sent by Caroline Hawkins | 4:04 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, I hope you can find comfort in knowing that your courage, your humor, your honesty, your story will resonate with me - a cancer survivor - for a very long time. I've gained such insight into this disease, yes, but more importantly into life, love, sharing, and caring by listening to you, and reading what you've written. I feel I know you, and am saddened to learn of your most recent news. Relief from your pain is helpful...and I hope it gives you a freedom to laugh and share with those you love best these days. I will pray for peace for you, and pray in thanksgiving for the peace you've given me in sharing your life. Thank you.

Sent by Jere Righter | 4:33 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Here's the link to the blog post with the photo gallery everyone's been talking about.

Sent by andy carvin, npr | 4:54 PM ET | 06-26-2008

It took me almost a year before I could read your blog, Leroy . . . I was afraid. I'm not sick nor am I a caregiver but I understand that I will most probably be one or both. I feel so grateful to you and Laurie for sharing your experiences. I'm still afraid but am fortified by your honesty, strength, courage and humor. Thank you. Sending you a warm embrace . . . Jan

Sent by Jan | 5:09 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dude! Two years is pretty darn good, considering. This blog has meant so much to so many people - you have given all of us such a wonderful gift through your insight and honesty.

After looking at all the pix today, I'm sorry I didn't send something in with me and my Dad...all I could find, without him having a cigarette in his hand, were my wedding pictures. And that was 19 years ago. But, maybe I'll just go ahead and send it to you anyway because I don't want him to be forgotten. I want everybody to know that my Dad was real, he was loved, and he is painfully missed.

You know, since not everybody in the world is enlightened enough to listen to NPR and they don't check out the website, wouldn't it be really cool if at some point in the future, all of this blog was compiled into a book? I hope you realize how special your blog is, how special you are, and how special all of your blog contributors are. And not to tell you what to do, but you need to share the great thing that is this blog with the world!

Sent by Joyce in FL | 5:33 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy, There cannot be enough thankyous for this blog. My girl Tracy died 06/13/2008 after a 2 year battle. She was truly amazing; such endurance and srength. Tracy, my mom and my uncle and
you and this blog have taught so much. Many prayers and blessings to you for peace and relief from pain.
Love, Kathy

Sent by Kathy Willett | 5:59 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy, Laurie and Blog Members,
You are always in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my heart! Thank you for all your gifts of love and truth. We walk this journey together and are blessed with the support of all.
With all my love, Jude

Sent by Judith Tynan | 7:07 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy

You are an inspiration to many for your courage, character and wisdom. Thank you for sharing your life over the past two years...because of you, many fewer people walk alone

John
Hampstead NH

Sent by John Moynihan | 7:54 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy and Laurie: I just wanted to let you know again how priviledged I am to read and glean such wisdom and love from your blog as you share your heart and thoughts with us. I pray for you everyday and everytime I read your blog in my mailbox. I wish I could do something more for a wonderful person that I haven't even met; I just pray that we will meet someday; if not here...maybe in another time and place where there are no more tears or cancer...I am sending you a big and tender hug from a heart that cares for you alot.

Sent by Denise from Ohio | 8:27 PM ET | 06-26-2008

No, sir, you and Laurie are most definitely not alone.

Still hoping, still praying, still lifting!

Love,

Sent by Janice J. , Los Angeles | 8:33 PM ET | 06-26-2008

I think the support of others is the only thing that makes this road passable at all. thank you so much for your wonderful ability to put into words much of what we all feel

Sent by elissa Rosenfeld | 9:59 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Thanks for being you, Leroy. You help so many get through the day...

The pictures were awesome---but we need one of you and Laurie! Where is Laurie and Neil, Maureen and Ken, Tina and David, Kathy B and Pat--so OK, I seem to be drawn to those who are so "alone". That's me also. And wouldn't everyone love to "meet" Sasha and Sue Chap? More pics, please. It was certainly good to put faces with "Nikki and Burge".

Leon's forever wife (can't stand "widow"),

Jane

Sent by Jane | 10:27 PM ET | 06-26-2008

In cancer, as in life, "we get by with a little help from our friends"...

Sent by Beth | 10:34 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Leroy,

I have been following your blog from its beginning and have gotten inspiration from it on numerous occasions.

I celebrate the fact that you've been able to continue this blog long past its original "Sell By" date - you've done a great job of changing out those bread ties :).

Here's a quote that came in my church's bulletin this week. It's titled "How Well Have I Loved?" and is attributed to Leah de Roulet.

"If there is a real purpose for any of us, it is to somehow enhance each other's humanity -- to love, to touch other's lives, to put others in touch with basic human emotions, to know that you have made even one life breathe easier because you have lived. By and large, the meaning of a person's life gets distilled to: How well have I loved? A person can then find hope in believing: Somebody loved me and I loved him or her and those memories that my loved one carries forward will shimmer on inside my friends and family and beyond."

This quote speaks to exactly what you have done for this community. You have loved us by continuing this blog through the good times and the bad. We are so fortunate that Laurie has shared you with us.

We celebrate the time that both you and Laurie have shared with us and will be with both of you for the duration of the journey.

Praying that you find comfort and relief from your pain.

Sent by Marie in Minneapolis | 11:51 PM ET | 06-26-2008

Dear Leroy,
you are never alone . Your blogs are invaluable and I won't forget them , either Take care xoxo. Dee

Sent by dee | 1:08 AM ET | 06-27-2008

As I listened to your message on the radio this morning your voice never wavered and your fears never showed through. That courage brought me to tears this morning.

Sent by Eli | 1:53 AM ET | 06-27-2008

Dear Leroy,
Two years ago, I found you as I began my own cancer journey. Thanks to your writing and all of the comments from the accumulated circle of readers, I have made the past two years successful ones. I am not as worried or afraid as I was two years ago, when I knew nothing of what lay ahead, thanks to your writing and all of the comments. Peace to you and your loved ones. I am forever grateful for your work, where I learn daily how to live with this new life.

Sent by Cheeky Librarian | 2:28 AM ET | 06-27-2008

Thanks Leroy for making it clear that we be doin'this together and for many in Cancer World the message is you don't have to do it alone. Pain/suffering shared with another person(s) is pain/suffering halfed. You are great! Thank you for being you today and everyday. With love, Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 6:12 AM ET | 06-27-2008

Yesterday, while I was driving to work, I heard this commentary and got my introduction to this blog. I don't have cancer, but in April my dog went from no symptoms to paraplegic in days. The doctors discovered that she had a spinal tumor, which was removed. However, her recovery did not proceed as expected, and when she went in for more tests, additional spinal tumors were located. She has been taking an experimental course of angiogenic drugs known as the Navy Protocol in an attempt to slow the progression of these other tumors, but it does not look good. It is difficult to be her caretaker during this time since of course I can't ask her where it hurts or if the drugs make her feel better or worse. As she loses the ability to do more and more things, I don't know what she thinks and feels about it or how to help her through it. I can only try to guess from the look on her face and her interactions with me whether she wants to stay some more with me or is ready to go. But hearing this commentary almost felt like she was speaking to me. I know it must be pretty hard to do this blog, so I wanted to say thanks for making the effort. It's really helped me make some decisions for her.

Sent by Jill | 12:02 PM ET | 06-27-2008

Reading ll these wonderfully supportive, compassionate and caring comments, brings to reality part of the 91st Psalm, "For He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways...."
These people are angels that God sends to you - and each other. Blessings!

Sent by Ed Robertson | 6:16 PM ET | 06-27-2008

You are a gift.
All of you are a gift.
Thank you for sharing.
And thanks for posting the photo montage.

You are, all of you, in my thoughts and prayers this evening.

Sent by Jane | 8:57 PM ET | 06-27-2008

I heard this story driving home from work the other day, and I was so moved. It struck me as I listened to you that I had been listening to your updates on the radio for the past two years.

First, I thought: "Wow, have I been in Raleigh for two years already?"

My second thought was: "Wow, what a courageous man Leroy is to share with the entire world his battle and struggle with cancer." I was so moved that I almost started to cry and had to stop driving to collect myself.

Because you've been sharing your story with the us, I feel like we are also a small part of your journey, and your update had the same emotional impact as if it had come from a close friend or family member.

I just wanted to say thank you for your blog and what you've shared the past two years. I don't have cancer, and I hope I never do have it. But should I ever be faced with the challenge, I will have your blog and your work to look to for support and also hope that I would be to face my disease with even a tiny fraction of strength, dignity, courage and grace that you have.

Thank you.

Sent by Keith | 11:25 PM ET | 06-27-2008

Leroy,
My son just sent me an article from
www.scientificblogging.com
There is a very hopeful article about granulocytes being used to successfully kill cancer cells. A human trial is about to begin.
Check it out.

Sent by Mel Sebastiani | 2:01 PM ET | 06-30-2008

Leroy...I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You have always been an inspiration to me. My husband was diagnoised with 3B lung cancer. Not much of a difference from stage 4. His tumor was the size of an egg roll in his left lung. It had spread to his lymph nodes on the opposite side of his chest. His tumor was inoperable. His only alternitive was to have chemo and radiation. He had chemo first. It shrunk his tumor by half after a few rounds of chemo.Then he had radiation...After that...the entire tumor was gone. He has been "cancer free" for over a year. It doesn't mean that the cancer is not there lurking around somewhere....the doctors don't know. Right now...he is cancer free. That is all we can hope for. My husband has been given a "reprieve". His kind of cancer will come back. No doubt. But in the meantime...I need to find comfort in the here and now. It is NOT easy. I am not sure what is more stressful...Having a loved one die in front of you...or wait while they torment themselves while under going every prosedure known to man to keep themselves alive. From a caregivers point of view...If you are going to pass away eventualy from a serious illness...(I mean shortly) Why hold all the people that you care about hostage while you are succumbing from a disease that you will never recover from? What I am saying is ...please let it go. I feel so badly for your situation.It really breaks my heart. You are so young to have to face death. I am not sure what I would feel. Certainly not the courage you have shown. I would probably curl up into a ball and wait to die. It breaks my heart to see a wonderful young man ..in the prime of his life..face these horrors of life too soon. My heart goes to you and yours. Karen

Sent by Karen | 5:25 PM ET | 07-15-2008