Right Leroy,
Patience, and perseverance. Oh so easy to say, but it's what we work with.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:06 AM ET | 06-23-2008

We are grateful that you are sharing your journey with us. We rejoice in your triumphs and share your sorrow.

We're here with you for the long run.

Every day that you post is a good day for all of us.

Sent by Marie in Minneapolis | 8:08 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Dear Leroy,

Prayers to you today, and always, that you get relief from your pain, and your body heals. Love you.

Sent by Connie | 8:09 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, were you expecting immediate relief after the radiation? Something tells me it really doesn't work quite that fast. I wish I could bottle some patience to be administered PRN (whenever necessary or as needed) to help you over this hurtle. In the mean time, have you tried the old reliable Tylenol???? Just a thought.

Patience Leroy, patience.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:13 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,
If anyone has patience it seems to be cancer patients..it's a requirement. You have shown tremendous patience and I marvel everyday at how my husband handles his many trials. Keep up the good work and I hope you get some relief from these treatments. God bless.

Sent by kathie | 8:17 AM ET | 06-23-2008

I'm sure your doctors have thought of everything out there, but isn't it possible to have a nerve block that would alleviate some pain?

Sent by Laura | 8:21 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Good Morning Leroy! You seem to have gotten through the weekend with the right attitude, as usual. Now, another new Monday and new week. My husband and I will pass through the 60th year of our marriage this Wednesday. Today we go to my husband's Urologist and see what he thinks can be done, if anything. IF he continues to tell him that he is too old for the traditional treatments, we shall find another opinion. My husband is a very strong, healthy, man and feels that he doesn't want to "give in to Cancer" because he is 87.Naturally he would like to be 88 next year AND WILL!
I want him to have your spirit Leroy. FIGHT IT and we will.
Hope your results improve.

Sent by J C R | 8:22 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Good morning, Leroy. I would like to think that your pain lessens. It would be a good thing. Take care and hope that you are doing something each day that you enjoy! Love to Laurie and always to you.

Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 8:30 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Yes, patience seems to be what it's all about, but it's a little easier said than done when you're hurting. I hope the benefits of the radiation will kick in soon. My husband had radiation to his hips in mid-April and it took about 2 weeks for the pain relief to become noticeable, and about 6 weeks total for most of the pain to be gone. He's walking well and with almost no pain now (2 months later).

Sent by bev wigney | 8:41 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy - you "sound" a little better today!! I remember when Paul had radiation to his hips and lower spine. He was just like you - no, I don't feel any different, no,no, - then, miraculously, one day - no pain!! I think he was looking for it so badly that it just snuck up on him.

I'm thinking that radiation is a lot like everything else in life - the minute you stop looking for it, it shows up. Paul had several courses of palliative radiation and they worked well every time. Remember to enjoy every single day while you patiently wait for it to work. Hugs to you and Laurie.

Jeanette Carney

Sent by Jeanette Carney | 8:47 AM ET | 06-23-2008

I hope it worked and the pain eases. I pray for you Leroy.

Hugs.

Sent by Lori | 8:52 AM ET | 06-23-2008

its a roll of the dice sometimes

hope you have some relief today leroy

Sent by Jenn | 9:09 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Morning Leroy,
Radiation is a strange thing. I had my 33 for stage 1 breast cancer. My last treatment was Feb 11, and I am still having some side effects, still pink. I had my follow up with my doctor last week and he just shook his head and said, you have very fair skin. It's still pink!

Patience, patient.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 9:23 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,
I hope the radiation makes a big difference for you. You have the best attitude. I am praying for you and your family and sending positive energy.
love, Jennifer

Sent by Jen in CA | 9:31 AM ET | 06-23-2008

I admire your courage.

Sent by Wendy Carnemolla | 9:36 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Good Monday Morning to you Leroy. I am praying that you will get pain relief and hoping it will be a good week for you.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 9:42 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Dear Leroy, I am a reader who has not commented but has been deeply moved by your blog. After reading today's lines from you, I must send along a quote from a favorite poem by Eamon Grennan-- the poem describes a rainy meadow in Ireland and the speaks of the herd of cows standing and waiting in the rain. "A kind of patience is the way we manage," the narrator says (of the rain-soaked cows). I have found this helpful in difficult times and hope it might speak to you now, And, of course, I wish you courage and patience and comfort with all my heart.

Sent by Susan | 9:44 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, I agree that your attitude is so good. I hope and pray for good results for you!!

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:45 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Praying for relief and healing.

Sent by Stacy | 9:46 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,
I am praying that the radiation works and brings you some painfree days. I love your positive attidude and honestly it keeps me going.
Pain is a constant in my life. I am on so many pain meds I feel like a legalized drug addict. I not only have cance but I have Lupus as well so pain and fatigue are my way of life. Lately with the heat, I live in Northern California and the heat is not my friend. I find myself counting down the hours untill my next pain pill dose.
In the middle of my cancer battle I am getting a divorce. I finally decided that the last days on this earth I should have some peace, so I left an abusive relationship. Now I have physical and mental pain.....not sure what is worse. Doing the cancer fight alone in not easy.
I really hope you find some relief soon,

Sent by Miriam | 9:58 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Now we wait with dignity and grace.

Sent by Cherie Brown, Tucson | 10:10 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,
I'm 'hearing' an acceptance in your writing today--an 'it is what it is' about the ravages that the Beast is trying to inflict. With acceptance comes peace of a sort--you can deal with it. It is what it is. Good for you.

Have a great day.

Kathy B.

Sent by Kathy B. | 10:23 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, Ah, PATIENCE, that elusive character that is so hard to track down!! If you catch him, please share your secret for capture with all of us. It is hard to have patience waiting for pain relief, waiting for test results: waiting, waiting and more waiting! But we all learn to do it to some extent. So hang in there Leroy and I pray that complete relief of your pain is just around the next corner.

Laurie, I know you have been by Leroy's side throughout this journey. And the hills have been high and the valleys have been low. Here's to a more level path for both of you now!

To JCR, Congratulations on your 60th wedding anniversary on Wednesday!! That achievement is certainly a wonderful tribute to your strength of LOVE! And don't allow any restrictions on the care your husband receives be based on his age. Tom and I bowl with a couple, Marion is 89 and Merlyne is 87, Marion had a total knee replacement last summer and Merlyne had major cancer surgery just 3 months ago. They are both back bowling and can still beat the socks off my scores!

To All, We will be patient when we have to, even tho it isn't easy. I hope we all have a day today where FUN is the rule and HOPE lives in our hearts. God Bless.

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 10:35 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,
You are such a wonderful and lovely soul.

Sent by Tough | 10:40 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Peace, be well...
Hope you get to laugh today.
Sandra Yudilevich

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 10:42 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, I hope that the rads worked to slow the progression, and also that your poor pelvis heals up. Have they told you not to move around much? I guess they don't have to say so >sigh

Sent by Alycia Keating | 10:48 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Hi Leroy,
I just discovered your blog today as I was searching, "What Should I Be When I Grow Up?" on Google. A past article of yours popped up, in which you discuss the difference between having a career and a job.
Though I am only 19 and can't yet relate to having a career, it was extremely comforting to know that others often grapple with this issue.
You see, I am 19 years old and I a cancer survivor. I working at my first internship in Washington D.C. and I am freaking out. I do not want to work here when I grow nor do I have any idea what it is that I want to do. To be quite honest, I'd rather have a 'job' not a 'career.' Most people laugh it off when I tell them this, assuming that I am just having 'growing up' jitters, but it is not that.
I feel like you can understand what I am going through. Having had cancer, I have learned how quickly one's life can be taken away from them. And yes, I do live in constant fear of getting cancer again and dying young. This is why I am so nervous and stressed. What should I be when I grow up? I want to be happy and content and unstressed. Both you and I have gone through so much, so why put ourselves through the hell of a career?
Of course, I know you don't have an answer for me, I just felt like reaching out to someone who might understand why I might not want to subjugate myself to a life in a gray cubicle. We've both been through so much: why put ourselves through more unhappiness?
Or, am I just being self-centered and acting entitled to priviledges? I'm glad that none of my friends have had cancer, but sometimes it sucks because I don't think they really understand where I am coming from.
best wishes,
Jessie S.

Sent by Jessie S. | 10:54 AM ET | 06-23-2008

I've been on a bit of a hiatus from my computer lately, so catching up with Leroy has been a priority now that I'm back. The news is tough - hard to read the last few blogs, hard to think about the stuff going down for this man who has become like a friend to me - oh, hell, he IS a friend! But let me say how much he means to me - and to so many others. He is brave enough to share, and if you think that doesn't require bravery, think again! He is strong enough to be honest about his fear. He is smart enough to be a full participant in his medical treatment. He asks the hard questions. I just wish there were some easy answers for him at this point, because if anyone deserves it, he does. But today let me just say to Leroy: you are loved. Greatly. By many friends whom you have never met in person. Count me as one of them, and hang in there.

Sent by Susan Crawford | 10:56 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, as always, in your human"ness" and courage, you are an inspiration to the rest of us. I am praying that your pain eases soon. Our spirits are with you.

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 11:06 AM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,
(I hope this message isn't a duplicate -- something went wrong the 1st time I tried to post.) Anyway, today I'm the one feeling impatient, wanting you to have relief NOW, dammit!Sigh...in the meanwhile, please load up on painkillers and take a nap, knowing how many loving thoughts and prayers are flowing toward you this morning from all around the world.

Sent by Doris | 11:16 AM ET | 06-23-2008

You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. May you have relief and healing.

Page - Gresham, Oregon

Sent by page hendryx | 11:56 AM ET | 06-23-2008

I really hope you get some relief from the pain in the pelvis SOON.

Sent by N.R. | 12:00 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy- Isn't your cancer credo what life is all about- take your best shots, hope for the best results and live with what happens. I don't think you even try to be inspirational but you are.

Sent by linda h. | 12:05 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy: Prayers to you today...even though it gets hard to pray about things like this as it doesn't always seem it does a lot of good. I know you are tired.

Miriam: My heart goes out to you. It is hard to have cancer. It is hard to have an abusive relations. Having them at the same time has to be hell, but you deserve a better life. I was so lucky to have the kind husband Burge was. You are in my thoughts.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 12:05 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, once again todays responses demonstrate just how diverse is the makeup of Lero's Army and community! And I add my voice to those wishing pain-free days/nights for you.
JCR "hugs" and best wishes to you and your husband on your special day. May it be beautiful.
Miriam, I am sure there are those members of Leroy's army wishing you days of peace and pain reduction as you face all the challenges on many fronts.
And who would have thought that a google of "What should I be when I grow up" would help someone connect to this community. Jessie, maybe an exercise in list making, the positives/negatives, of different choices can be a starting place to help work though the decision process. Maybe it is OK to have more than one career/job during a life time.lac

Sent by Lou Ann Caywood | 12:16 PM ET | 06-23-2008

I missed everyone again this weekend - I always think of you and look forward to being with everyone on Mondays. Waiting for results and improvements is very frustrating, especially when you are in so much pain. It always takes longer than they say, Leroy, and the improvements are so miniscule that it is not until one day you will suddenly realize tht the pain has lessened. Have you tried acupuncture? It helped my husband, mentally and physically.
Congratulations JCR - Happy 60th Anniversary!
Jessie S. - I'm glad you found this blog and I hope you feel some support from people who understand. Life is too precious, isn't it, to be unhappy.

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 12:25 PM ET | 06-23-2008

If anyone has given it their "best shot," it's you, Leroy. And we have all been able to be in the grandstand, cheering you on. I am a blessed person for doing it. Shasha: I have been meaning to send you a "shout out" that I am sorry about your broken bones. Miriam: Be thankful you are not in Waco, TX, today. It is "hotter 'n a six shooter!"

Sent by N. Holmes | 12:29 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Good morning Leroy!! I hope you have some relief from your pain soon. Enjoy today. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Peace to you and Laurie.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly | 12:55 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, please forgive me for complaining when I have a little headache or toe ache..

I pray SO HARD that you will have relief from pain.. I can't imagine a chronic pain as you have.. You are truly amazing..

Sent by Patsy Elmore | 12:55 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy -pain has taught me patience. On a bad day I tell myself, this will get better, at least for a while. I'll take anything my doctor can throw at me that might help, and as you say, learn to "live with it". As cancer patients we live with a lot, with incredible patience. In the chemo room I see people much, much sicker than I, and it is amazing to see how much they, too, are living in the moment, dealing with the pain, but trying to have a life too. Patience is an underrated virtue in our society; we want it all right now. Cancer humbles us and requires us to develop patience whether we want to or not. Before dx I would definitely say I was a type A impatient person; no more.
Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.
May your patience pay off soon and reward you with some pain free days.

Sent by Marcia | 12:59 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, my experience with the radation has been good and the pain relief was pretty quick - but it was still a few days (particularly for a multi-day exposure - for example on my 10 cycles, I would usually start feeling pain releif after the 4th cycle.

however, sometimes I got a little blip where the pain actually got worse for a couple days a few days later and then this passed - the theory was that the bones were swealing a little - it happened to my twice on radiaton to the lower leg - so might not happen to you, different situation.

good luck man, are prayers are always with you.

Sent by brady richardson | 1:13 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Good morning Leroy,

I have been following your situation since the TV show you did with Ted Koppel. I too have cancer, metastic breast cancer and am a patient at M.D.Anderson Cancer Center. When I checked into the clinic my CA27.29 was over 41,000, narmal is 38. I was given three month to live.That was six and one half ears ago. The cancer had metasticised to my lymph nodes, liver, and spine.

I don't know if the following is ethical, and is certainly not intented to be medical advise, just telling you my story. Currently I am on two drugs, Tykerb and Xeloda. They are working dramatically for me so far. I spoke to a representative at Tykerb and she mentioned to me that one of her patients had a brain tumor that just disappeared after taking Tykerb. There are so many medications for cancer, but I wanted you to be aware of this drug. Possibly you can ask your oncologist if he is familiar with this new drug, just approved by the FDA last year.

Please don't give up hope. All of us are just buying time. So many people are praying and rooting for you and in so many ways your candid view has given many of us strength and hope. Together lets just keep on keeping on!!!

Cheryl Schorp

Sent by Cheryl Schorp | 1:27 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Good afternoon, Leroy. Next Monday I hope to read that you have finally gotten pain relief. Yes, it does take a little time to get relief and it's very hard to be objective when there's a gradual improvement. And in 3 years I want to read that you are wondering if you'll be seeing side effects from the radiation. May each day of this week be better than the day before!

Sent by Susan | 1:33 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, if the first one doesn't work, try another. Neil had lots of pain too, hot baths worked, just sitting with the dogs and me worked. It was the quiet time that helped him! I hope you are able to find your quiet time too!
Miriam, stay strong and know that many of us here keep you in our prayers.
Eileen, I am still praying for you too!
JCR, Congratulations to you and your husband. 60 years is awesome. Wishing you both many more!
Continued prayers for this HUGE family Leroy started!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 1:39 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Hi Leroy! Do the best you can and accept what comes. Wow, what a power of example you are. Thanks again for your great attitude. I sure hope it works and at least your pain diminishes. You are in my thougts.

Love, Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 2:09 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Hang in there Leroy.
Miriam, I am sorry you are going thru this alone, that should not happen. I would love to write to you if you would permit it.
Fay Beech, Arizona

Sent by fay | 2:24 PM ET | 06-23-2008

To Jesse S. - thank you for posting.

The differences between a job and a career are different for all of us. It is totally okay - and admirable - that you want to have a 'job' that makes you happy and content. I think the key is finding what you really enjoy doing. I am a Certified Nurse Midwife. I didn't know I wanted to help women give birth until after I had 3 of my own children. I love my choice - and count it an honor to do what I love.

Our second son is getting a degree in outdoor leadership and is currently working in the Boundary Waters in Northern Minnesota. He will not be rich in the eyes of the world. However, he is doing what he has a true passion for - and what can be richer than getting to canoe and camp in the wilderness as your "career".

Check out the Boundary Water Canoe Area Wilderness (google it). A trip there may help you sort out your life goals.

Sent by Alice May - Nebraska | 2:32 PM ET | 06-23-2008

I remember that it took a week or 10 days for my husband to get good relief from his pallative radiation. And he did have it several times but hang in there it will help.

Sent by Kathy from San Diego | 2:33 PM ET | 06-23-2008

One of my biggest hopes for you is that you receive a break from the pain.

Sent by Susan C | 3:00 PM ET | 06-23-2008

PS to Miriam:
Congratulations on the strength and boldness it must have taken to leave your abusive relationship. You don't need emotional pain heaped on top of physical pain.

Sent by Susan C | 3:04 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Dear Leroy/All,
Patience is a commodity in short supply when dealing with Cancer and beyond. Now that my husband is gone, I pray that I will have the patience to wait for the healing process to take place. I am faced with an entirely new set of emotions now that I've gone from caregiver to widow. Someone suggested that when you're caught up in a hurricance, it's best to be still. I've always wanted quick solutions to problems but unfortunately, when dealing with cancer, there are no quick fixes. Good luck, Leroy and stay strong.

Sent by Elaine | 3:05 PM ET | 06-23-2008

To everyone in Leroy's Army ~ Please accept my sincere thanks for your kind words and love. It is wonderful to realize just how many good, caring, folks there are in this world.To think that without our mutual love and respect for Leroy and Laurie, we might have never "met" Thsnk you sll. But my heart goes out to Miriam. Hopefully it is for the best but I hope you find peace and happiness and are surrounded by love and suppport to endure your fight against this dread disease. Sometimes Cancer can help sort out the men from the boys. Have faith.

Sent by J C R | 3:09 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, It takes quite a bit of patience, something I have never been very good at, but what can you do? Living in the Cancer World is difficult, goes hand in hand with a very difficult Disease. Hope your pain lessens. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 3:27 PM ET | 06-23-2008

You have done your part Leroy, now let God do the healing. Lots of hugs and good karma coming to you and Laurie.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 3:43 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Once again you have said a mouthful my brother. Keep fighting the good fight and remember the army of Leroy-troopers that follow beind you.We mach in step as we are all in the same shoes.

Peace to you
Liz Z

Sent by liz z | 4:10 PM ET | 06-23-2008

My husband passed on March 1, 2008 from cancer at the base of the tongue that had spread to his lungs. I was with him all the way. Know that I am also with you in prayer all the way.

Sent by Linda | 4:27 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy,

Sorry you didn't get immediate results from the zapping to your spine. Hope relief comes soon. You are on my mind and in my heart.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 4:35 PM ET | 06-23-2008

"When the time comes, how do I say goodbye?"
Dear Leroy, commenting on your sentence, I'd like to suggest 2 Books from Dr. Ira Byock. 1)Dying Well; 2) Things that matter most.
God bless,
Neide

Sent by Neide Tichy | 4:44 PM ET | 06-23-2008

I wish you all the best. I know it is hard, having been in pain for 6 months myself with something far less insidious. It's often hard to be patient. But I remind myself that the body takes time to heal. I am praying for your body to heal and give you relief.

Sent by Dina Horwedel | 5:53 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy, for a little distraction I recommend Beachwalks.tv where Rox and Lexi (her black lab) take daily walks along a Hawaiian Beach. I enjoyed watching these videos when I was going through a year of chemo treatments in 2006 -- the videos transported me away for a few minutes each day. I know you love Hawaii. Also, Rox understands Cancer World - her father has a terminal cancer. He has an amazing spirit to fight it out (just like some folks we know here!).

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 5:53 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Who ever said you have to be patient! Seems to me, that anyone who has gone through what you have lately, deserves to be a little impatient. Oh I know, it won't/ doesn't fix anything, but sometimes a little pity party or temper tantrum can be cathartic :)
Hope you get some relief soon, if not, throw a pie in someone's face, it can't hurt, may relieve some stress, and it's always good for a laugh.

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 6:26 PM ET | 06-23-2008

If hospice is caring for you--why do you have such pain? I thought hospice was all about pain control and comfort.
It breaks my heart to read your blog because no one deserves to suffer so much. I keep you and your family in my prayers. take care kim

Sent by Kim | 6:26 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy - you are such an inspiration . " I can do that" - what an excellent way to meet one's challenges: bite off the piece you can handle and just do that part. Each day brings its own challenges and rewards. Seeing how you can deal with it all- that takes some insight, courage , humor and grace. You're the tops in all categories! With love and best wishes always, CaroleD

Sent by CaroleD | 6:32 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Prayers and good juju to you. With care.

Sent by anne lumberger | 6:52 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Patience? What the hell, lets get the man some relief NOW!!! I'm hoping the radiation works for you, and SOON!

I was at Dana Farber Cancer Institute today for an appointment and I had to pick up a couple of bottles of contrast dye for an upcoming scan. When I mentioned to the technician how nerve-wracking the time between the scan and the appointment with the oncologist later that day was, she looked at me wide eyed and launched into a diatribe about how "no body's scan results are guaranteed the day of their scan and that I should know that I could end up waiting up to three days because they are so busy and they never know when the equipment isn't going to be working properly, blah, blah, blah, and I was just going to have to be PATIENT!"
I wanted to shake her silly. Patient??? Are you kidding me??? Be patient waiting for information about an invader in my body? Maybe she used to work at the DMV....
Let's not forget that none of us signed up for this battle, we got dragged into it. Remember Leroy when you invoked "Saving Private Ryan"?
Everyone of us has most likely had the "I'm not going!" moment.
So now that we're in this fight dammit, we're in it. Patience and time are in short supply. Hang tough Leroy.

Miriam: I'm pulling for you. Positive thoughts and strength to you in Cali from the East Coast.

Jessie: What you're doing right now, thinking about your next move, very brave. Good for you, don't settle for less than what makes you happy.

Sent by Debra (fighting Irish) in New Hampshire | 7:58 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Another great post. We continue to battle, we continue to fight. Our side has victories and losses, but, slowly, the tide is turning. It really is. Just slowly.

Sent by Scott S. | 8:45 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Hi Leroy,

Does any type of visualization - hypnosis stuff work for you?? It does for me, regarding pain and the stress that comes from constant pain. Just thought I would throw that out there.

Wishing you some pain-free time very very soon.

heartlight,

Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim & Virgie & Gracie | 9:21 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Hang in there Leory,
I know it can't do anything for the condition or the pain but I'm thinking of you and your family. Hugs, love and warm fuzzies being sent your way.

Sent by Annette | 10:51 PM ET | 06-23-2008

The strange thing about radiation is not only patience but faith. It seems like such a joke, you lie down and hear that little noise and the machine moves and you hear that little noise. And so it goes. It's nothing. You feel nothing. You have to have faith that it is something.

And, of course it is. But, sometimes...just sometimes, I would think...is this any sillier than wishing on a magic feather?

Have faith, something good is going on. The tumors are shrinking and the pressure is lessening. It takes time.

I love the idea of watching film of walking on an Hawaiian beach.

You know how we hear about kids with cancer having a wish? What would your Make a Wish be? I bet there is someone on this blog that can make it happen. (within reason, Leroy, we ain't God here)

Sent by Robin | 10:57 PM ET | 06-23-2008

Leroy -
Re:How do I say goodbye? I am an ICU nurse, who in the last 25 yrs. have been with many people, including family members, in their last days. I don't know how to explain the peace that has been present in almost every passing, but I did want to share the final days of a wonderful physician who died in his early 40's of liver cancer.
This was probably more than 15 years ago, and knowing there was not much that could be done to cure him, George elected to live out his days at home so that he could be around his school age children as much as possible. The nurses that knew and admired him, took turns sitting with him at night, allowing his wife to get some sleep, and for George to not feel alone. When it became apparent that his days were numbered, he invited all who knew him to come to his house for a "party". I remember watching as friends and aquaintences approached his bed, some bearing small gifts of books or music. George had a positive comment, laugh and remembrance for each person, and while everyone knew it was a goodbye, George somehow kept it light, and all left feeling that final positive words were spoken, memories shared. George was exhausted after this day, and fell asleep, dying a couple of days later. I have always felt it was a such a great gift our friend gave us, I am sure it gave him peace as well.
Sometimes this all just sucks, but it's just how life it, isn't it?
Thanks for taking the time to also reach out to so many, I feel privileged to be able to share your experience.
Patricia

Sent by P.Lobenberg | 11:00 PM ET | 06-23-2008

To Jessie S. remain open to life. I found a career well after 30 that I loved and believe added years to my life. Find something you love to do and makes you happy whether it is a job or career. Hopefully, your cancer experiences have taught you to try to get the most out of each day. Don't let fear diminish your hopes and dreams

Sent by Dona | 12:40 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy, thinking of you and Laurie today. Hopeing that you will find relief soon. Hope you had a decent weekend.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 12:52 AM ET | 06-24-2008

JCR: If 60 years of marriage hasn't taught you patience, then I can't imagine what will! Congrats!

Jessie S: I remember how completely overwhelmed I was by my first "real" job. Had moved to NYC and the city terrified and exhilarated me. Now I am in my late 30s and still don't know what I will be when I grow up. Life is a process! Try lots of things!

Was showing foreign relatives the Smithsonian this weekend. Leroy: if you are still looking to gain weight, Gepetto's is still on Old Georgetown Road. The menu says "Have patience, the Neopolitan pizza is worth the extra wait." I didn't and the Sicilian-style was fabulous!

Sent by Liz L. | 7:49 AM ET | 06-24-2008

My prayers go out to all of you who are fighting this battle.
My wife has been on chemo almost constantly for 2 years or so now. The extent to which it has come to rule her life was made more obvious recently when she stopped taking it. She developed a staph infection in her portacath and it had to be removed. We amost lost her, she ran 102 - 105 fevers for several days and was hospitalized for 2 weeks getting those strong IV antibiotics. But since she got over that she has gradually felt better and better as she is not getting the chemo until they decide it's OK to put the portacath back in.
While we worry on the one hand about what's going on while she's not getting treated, it is SO nice to see her doing things she hasn't done in a long time. She just hasn't had the energy. Now she's working in the garden, taking the grandson up to the mountains for a day of "gem mining", going out to a ball game with the family instead of saying "you all go on, I don't really feel like it".
It has taken this break from the chemo to drive home just how much it has been taking from her. My thoughts and best wishes go out to all of you who are going through this, including Leroy, who is courageous enough to share his own journey with everyone here and allow them to get some of their stress out in the open, like I have just done.
Thanks
Tim in Clemmons, NC

Sent by TB in NC | 8:34 AM ET | 06-24-2008

Leroy I have only read your posts for a few months but I have come to admire your extrodinary outlook on this wretched disease. I feel as if you are a dear friend and with that I say, don't hesitate with 'I love you's', don't deny yourself any pleasures, say the things you have held off saying and know you are loved by many. I hold you and your family in my heart, namaste.

Sent by Mary Boltz | 7:48 PM ET | 06-24-2008