If you are on some sort of machine that needs electricity, then why not? but it sounds like you arent....
I am embarrassed to say I DID use the "cancer card" a few times, but not in an obvious obnoxious way, but I figured, (at the time) "I deserve it!", I noticed people in customer service jobs would treat me more kindly and then when my hair grew back they went back to treating me like everyone else. It was a bit disappointing. I liked getting the special treatment. We cancer survivors have enough to deal with. Why not get some extra special attention?

Sent by Jenn | 7:35 AM ET | 06-05-2008

You're still an optimist, LeRoy! Do you really think the power company would do a rush job for you?? ;-)

It's been a while since this blog made me laugh.

Thanks for that! (And the visual of you text messaging this blog - on your cell phone). You know you could have played the "electricity out" card with us?

Hope the lights are back on. Wouldn't want you to read our responses on your phone.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:36 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Funny. One often feels tempted to use Cancer to our advantage (if we can consider it that) and I believe that it does make a difference. Those not having had a cancer experience, do not want to tempt fate, by not being nice to someone with it. All out consideration then. I'm not knocking this, merely it is human nature.
Of course you won't use it Leroy. Instead you bravely sit in a dark room and write the blog by telephone. Now that is the commitment we know you have.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:44 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Leroy,
Oh, it is so tempting sometimes to lay that card out isn't it? I do however have a lot more sympathy for people who do play that card occasionally. I am a police dispatcher so I get a lot of stories as to why a persons call is way more important than any others I may have at the moment but only occasionally do I get the cancer card. I think that speaks a lot for cancer patients and how they strive to have some normalcy in their lives. Hope your power is back on. God bless.

Sent by kathie | 7:50 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Oh my, I think you just might render them speechless! You seem fiesty lately :)- good for you! Take care and I hope your power comes back on soon! Thanks for the laughs.

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 8:23 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I have on occasion played the cancer card. It's one of the cards that we have been dealt. We're just following the rules of the game and putting the card back into play as we see fit.

Sent by Jacqueline | 8:27 AM ET | 06-05-2008

When I told the gate clerk that we couldn't be denied access to a flight from Stansted London to Girona Spain, because we had to get home in order to get chemo therapy the next day for my husband's pancreatic cancer, the young man accused me of using emotional blackmail and refused to let us board. We had to catch a latter flight to a different airport which caused us tremedous stress and money. I came very close to using physical violence on the gate clerk as our only error was using my husband's US passport rather than his Brit passport for ID.

Sent by Jacqueline Roose | 8:28 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Morning Leroy! Yes it was a wild and wooley night in these parts yesterday. I really don't think it helps much to say, You're terminal. My Mom used to play that card all the time and she didn't even have cancer. She used it whenever someone, salesman, whatever, would pester her and not take NO for an answer. All the satisfaction she ever got was her fun in saying it. She used to get a kick out of the Credit card companies which in those days, (20 years ago) were sending everybody and anybody credit cards in the mail and urging them to "use them". She would call them up and play the "terminal lung disease" card. They didn't stop. She was sending us all Godiva Chocolates and Omaha Steaks on every occasion and laughing about her meager S.S. Income which the Credit Companies cared nothing about despite her phone calls. Hope you didn't suffer much damage Leroy. They say more is coming today.

Sent by J C R | 8:38 AM ET | 06-05-2008

The "cancer card" is sorta like being pregnant...a woman's big belly or bald head garner kindness from most without our having to say anything!

I will admit to trying for a laugh when I tell the true story of being told I had lung cancer on the morning of my retirement party. My thought: Even macabre humor is better than crying.

Sent by Peggy | 8:40 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Dear Leroy, My parents were snow birds-- the winter in FL kind. The last trip they made my Dad was in the thick of his battle with cancer and my mother drove the entire trip down. Well wouldn't you know, old lead foot gets a speeding ticket in Georgia. My father did all he could to not burst out laughing. Of course my first thought was "WHY DIDN'T YOU PLAY THE CANCER CARD!". Hell, if it's dealt you ought to take full advantage.
Wishing you peace and healing,
Susan

Sent by Susan | 8:41 AM ET | 06-05-2008

You're resourceful enough to, without power, still post today's topic so keep holding that cancer card.

Hold Fast, keep the flashlight handy & pass some time with the neighbors playing whisk till the power comes on.

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 8:41 AM ET | 06-05-2008

It's bad enough when the power is out but it makes it worse when you can see that others have power. It is really scary how little we can do without power. I hope that the lights are back on now.

Playing the cancer card -- it is tempting sometimes. The only time that we have used it is when we needed major car repairs. My husband explained to the mechanic that we had to have the car back in 2 days because I had to go to chemotherapy. Maybe, that wasn't so bad. I really did have to go to chemo in 2 days.

Sent by Carol from Nashville | 8:50 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I haven't used the cancer card as yet but was tempted when applying for my French Open tennis tickets. I wanted to tell them, "this is my life long dream and this is probably the last year I can do it." Fortunately, I got the tickets without having to try this.

Just back from Paris and have been following the blog each day but have not been able to read the responses. I look forward to catching up. Peace to all.

Sent by Dona | 8:51 AM ET | 06-05-2008

To Carolyn re Myeloma: I sent in a comment yesterday but it wasn't posted. Guess they won't allow us to give out email addresses - unfortunate.

Please tell your friend to go to www.acor.org and sign up for the Multiple Myeloma list. It's a fabulous support and wonderful resource with over 1700 members. They were my lifeline when my husband was first diagnosed. If your friend decides to sign up, just have them post that they are new to the list and found it through Leroy's NPR blog and I'll respond to them through the list.

Or they can find me on my husband's Caring Bridge site:
www.caringbridge.org/visit/vernwest

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 8:57 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Well let me tell you what I have experienced. One day at the grocery store, a young woman who could not be bothered to put her shopping cart into the corral, which I might add was only 1 car away from where she had parked, proceeded to hit the car next to hers with the cart and not lightly. As she got into her car, I asked are you not going to leave a note. Her response I was I have kid in the car, and my grandmother's dying of cancer. I was so tempted to trump her statement saying well my sister has Stage IV cancer of the throat, and feeding tube and a trach. But I didn't.

I have used the respiratory patient card during a power outage. My neighbor is on continuous oxygen and in the past we have plagued by frequent outages for NO REASON AT ALL, no storms etc. I'll call and hang on the line until I get a person and report it. Seems to help.

I used to dread power outages when my sister did have her trach, because of the life of back battery to the suction was questionable.

PLAY the card....Power outages are a major inconvenience. :}

Sent by Sue Chap | 9:01 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Leroy and All,

I have to admit I have played the Cancer Card. It wasn't in a major way, and it was mostly legit.

I had gotten a temporary handicapped tag while I was in chemo. I needed it then. My county gives you the tag as needed for 6months at a time.

Well I didn't really need it for the last 4-5 months I had it. I was walking with a cane, but I could have gone with a regular parking spot. But I didn't. I kept using the tag.

Karma did bite me on the butt for it tho'. I had parked in a handicapped spot in front of our building at work, and my car was hit by a FedEx truck.

Sent by Brit | 9:07 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Leroy - you are beautiful and just terrific - use whatever you want and trust me, I would do anything for you out of respect for who you are and some sadness at what you are going through. G-d had a special day when he created you!

Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 9:12 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Oh, this Cancer Card is a wild and crazy "gift". The FIRST time I ever used it was the very day I came home from my mastectomy. My husband had fixed me up in bed and run to the pharmacy for my pain meds. The phone rang and it was a Cemetery Sales Rep calling to ask if I wanted to buy a burial plot! The first words out of my mouth were "I have cancer and I DON'T want to think about that!!" Boy, did they hang up fast. At first I wondered if they had somehow gotten a "list" of sick folks, but came to think it was just a warped coincidence. Since then, I confess I have found it worked miracles before the Do-Not-Call list...when someone wanted to send me a credit card, I'd say "I have cancer and am having trouble paying off the cards I do have" (not entirely untrue) and boy, they never called back. Now that my cancer is back metastasized, I don't use The Cancer Card unless it will bring a laugh in an absurd situation.
Good luck and God Bless to all sharing here.

Ann

Sent by Ann Van Tassell | 9:23 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I've played it, when I have needed to. Were I going through chemo, and the air conditioning were not working because of an outage, I'd play that card for all it was worth. People like to help, by the way. It makes them feel good. Why deny them?

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:23 AM ET | 06-05-2008

My sister refused to play the cancer card, she wouldn't let me play it for her either. One time we were shopping at the Mall and I noticed a Mall security guard following her where ever she went. There she was, a Systems Analyst for a Community College for 20 some years, making very good money, wearing her patched jeans, a Goo Goo Dolls t-shirt and a handkerchef on her head to cover her near baldness. The guard, in my opinion, profiled her as a security risk because of her attire and head gear. I was so upset that I wanted to tell him to stop following her - she has cancer! But in deference to her wishes, I said nothing. She seemed to find it humorous.

Sent by Susan H. | 9:27 AM ET | 06-05-2008

It is so funny that you are talking about this, I just had a very similar experience but I did actually play the illness card. There is an organic, local food co-op five blocks from my house. Unfortunately, by the time I found out about it, they had closed their membership and the wait time to join was about a year and a half. However, they did have an addendum to their closed membership - if you have a serious life threatening or terminal illness you were allowed to join so that you could have easy access to healthy and nurturing foods. I thought about this for quite awhile. I DO have a serious and life threatening illness. However, i never think of myself in those terms and I thought, well I should leave these spots for someone who is really sick. Then I realized, I AM really sick. I called them up, told them about me, and I am now a proud member of my local food co-op. This doesn't mean that I have not been racked by guilt over this or feel like a total fraud. I don't know, I guess sometimes it can be okay to play the card, you just might feel pretty guilty afterwards.

Sent by Lauren | 9:31 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I have used the cancer card when salespeople call. It is amazing how fast they hang up when I tell them I have terminal cancer.

Sent by Bettie Wolverton | 9:37 AM ET | 06-05-2008

This is my first posting since my PC diagnosis 14 months ago. I've followed this blog ever since and I sincerely thank you for it. Sometimes I need to know I am not the only one out there and it keeps me from feeling too sorry for myself. Also thank you to everyone that posts on a regular basis. Sometimes it takes alot of strength to share stories.

As for the cancer card, I've used it twice. Once was to quiet down an insurance man who was becoming a pest. It was so funny to see his reaction. He could't leave fast enough! The second was in negotiating for a different (more fuel efficient for long hospital trips) vehicle. The salesman was very nice to us. Generally, I don't like to use it. Another question is what are you when you have cancer...I don't consider myself sick, I don't have a condition like high blood pressure..so how do you word it to others?

Sent by Linda | 9:40 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Dear Leroy:

I do play the cancer card periodically when I get a pesky cold call from charity that I have never heard of or where I strongly suspect that a substantial percentage of one's charitable contribution will go to pay for this telemarketer. I do take some delight in advising them that as a cancer patient, I only donate to specific cancer organizations and instruct them to put me on a no call list (as if that will do any good, since they are a charity) It catches the caller by surprise who very quickly races to hang up! My kids get sooo embarrassed when they hear me, but I do get a little perverse satisfaction out of playing the cancer card here.

Sent by Kate | 9:46 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Back when I was bald I never had to stand on the bus or wait in a long line. No need to play the cancer card since I was wearing it. Once at a fast food place whilst waiting for my daughter's special order the manager brought me a soda for free.

Hold the card until you need it then play it like trump. Living with cancer is hard enough.

Sent by Christine | 9:52 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, Your dedication to the blog was shinning through the storm! May the sunlight light your path until the electric company gets the lights back on! When we lived in the country our electricity used to go off every time the wind blew. We finally bugged the company enough that they burried the cables, problem solved! But I would say that playing the Cancer Card is ok at times. Our cancer diagnosis is a fact and if it can be helpful at times, then it can also be a resource. I see no reason not to use resources, when appropriate. It might be interesting to see what kind of response you get.

Laurie, I hope today is brighter and the storms move away. Please send some rain to the Southeast. We will pass on the fireworks and wind, ok? :-))

To All, May your day be bright and happy and any storms just bring a refreshing breeze. God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC.

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 10:10 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I guess if I were going to be honest I'd have to say that when I want to play the cancer card, I don't wear my prostheses. (I've had a double mastectomy and no reconstruction.) Or I've shamefully worked my cancer and chemotherapy into a conversation when someone is going on and on and complaining about something trivial. I still miss my breasts and have a bit of resentment left for those that still have theirs even after 20 years. I'm not proud of that, but that's the way it is. Fortunately, I'm 59 and my husband still finds me sexy! I really think it's okay to be selfish once in awhile especially with what you have been through and are going through, Leroy. I'm not proud of my behavior or thoughts sometimes concerning this, but life is short and I am definitely only human!

Sent by Lyn | 10:11 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Dear Leroy,
Well, I have to say that life insurance sales people hang up real fast when you tell them you have cancer.
Sadly, I had to play the cancer card several times with my doctors and staff. I needed to have a chest x-ray before I could be scheduled for surgery and the young woman was slamming files around and was quite angry that I was demanding she get it for me. I had requested it several days before and no one was doing anything. Then the surgeon and hospital were dragging their feet getting me into surgery (I knew I had cancer on April 1 and did not have surgery until June 22). I finally told them if they did not schedule me I was going to call my insurance company and ask to be sent somewhere else.
Fortunately I don't live in that area any longer and am getting better medical care.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:13 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I just called to make a dental appointment and they were agas that I haven't been there in over a year. I was tempted to say, ya, the surgery/chemo/radiation got in the way. I'm still not sure what I'll say to them when I show up and get it again.

Sent by Lisa | 10:14 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I think you should use that card they may run right over you never know.

Sent by Kim Parris | 10:18 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I'm glad to see that you still have a sense of humor.

Sent by Ivan Gil | 10:20 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Leroy - Play it like you're in Vegas! If you can make your life a bit easier by appealing to someones' good nature - I say do it. It makes them feel good too. It's not like you're a liar and you've earned a little special treatment.

Sent by Tim | 10:29 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Hi, Leroy! I'm definitely charmed and smiling at the sight of you typing this delightful blog entry on a telephone in the dark! :-) Guess that's why we love you! It is an issue that we have all dealt with though I'm sure--both cancer patients and the loved ones of those patients. I think it's okay to play that card at times. Just keep in mind to pick your battles wisely, and not do it all the time. Smiles to you today!

Sent by Linda Lee | 10:42 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Only time I used it was when my ob/gyn told me at my regular visit that I missed my regular breast exam the last 3 years. I reminded her I have stage IV lung cancer and any of the many scans I get on a regular basis would turn something up if I was so unlucky as to get breast cancer too.

Sent by Marcia | 10:54 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Ann, you story cracked me up--thogh I'm sure it wasn't funny to you at the time. I'll have to try playing that card when I get sales calls (I am on the Do Not Call list but I still get dunned for donations to various causes). It never occured to me. I have gotten rid of a life insurance salesperson really quickly with it.

I heard from a friend (fellow cancer survivor) that a friend of hers filed her taxes late one year and claimed cancer treatment as the reason (it was the reason-she was telling the truth) and the IRS let her off without a penalty. Bet they don't want that information posted on the web and it may have been a one-case thing but I was glad to hear the cancer card worked even with the IRS at least once!

Sent by N.R. | 10:58 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Oh, Levi...LOL, LOL!
When I was first dx'd four years ago, there was no 'hiding' it from the people I worked with--people who do preclinical drug safety testing building cancer drugs. I was head of or principal on several projects, and the meetings used to get pretty intense. But suddenly, nobody would argue with me, and discussions that had been just under boil-over for months cleared up like magic. I never played the 'cancer card', but I did say, on more than one occasion after a team meeting where I'd scored another round, that if people were suddenly going to do the right thing (agree with me) for the wrong reason (because I had cancer), I was NOT going to argue or dispute the win. ;-)

The only place I play the 'cancer card' is with insurance companies, when they won't pay for something they're supposed to cover, and sometimes when they put me on hold for the fifth time in one call. If they're going to make it difficult for me to pay for my cancer care after I've paid them for years--well, alls fair in insurance war.

Sent by Pat | 10:59 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Leroy, I guess you will never know, since you aren't going to do that. Curious too, but like you I would never do that. So I guess there is no hope for an answer. I hope your juice comes back in soon. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:00 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Ah, the cancer card. I used it. More that once and often not in a way I would recall without embarassment. But one time sticks in my memory. It happened one day in the CVS parking lot when pulling out of my parking space I collided with another driver doing the same thing. You know how that works. We both jumped out of our cars with me saying "Lady, what were you thinking?" or some such stupid thing. The woman was very apologetic said she wasn't looking and was preoccupied thinking about her son who had just gotten his orders and would be shipped out for Iraq anyday. I replied that I was preoccupied, too, with my cancer and treatment. We ended up hugging each other and promising to keep our families in our prayers.

Sent by jessie | 11:03 AM ET | 06-05-2008

The cancer card. I have to say the only humorous compensation for losing my hair was that you seem to get all sorts of "extras" when you are bald. You don't have to "play" anything. I found to my surprise that I was not embarassed about my baldness for long - it became an adventure every time I was out to see how people reacted!

My sister now faces hair loss from her chemo. I haven't told her the one "positive" to that experience! I figure she'll find out soon enough! . I'm still on chemo, but my hair has grown back about an inch or so, so I now look "normal". Oh well.

Sent by PattiB | 11:04 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Lisa's comment struck a note...I think many cancer patients - and caregivers -get behind on dental care. My husband hadn't gone during two years of chemo regimins and now that he is Stage IV, he no longer has regular visits. The dentist is very understanding and got my husband in quickly when he needed a small filling. I missed 18 months of visits, but again the dentist and the staff were very accomodating in helping me catch up.

The best use of the cancer card is when you get an invite that you really don't want to go to (too far, too late, etc.). We no longer accept invites unless we really want to go.

Sent by Ricci | 11:30 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Dear Leroy,
Sorry to admit that I have played the card a few times. Once when the air conditioner was not working and once when a pesky customer service rep was insisting that I put my husband on the phone. Today's post is why we all turn to your Blog. We're all dealing with similar issues which makes us feel a little less lonely. As someone said before me, "I wish my husband had never been dealt this card in the first place" Thanks for providing me with a safe place to go.

Sent by Elaine | 11:31 AM ET | 06-05-2008

My first session in cancer support group was a discussion by little old laides of how to get out of speeding tickets by playing the cancer card. "oh Officer, I was just on my way home from radiation, I must have been distracted." We laughed until we cried. Not quite what I had expected.....

Sent by Lynda Spangler | 11:33 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Ok, I will be honest I do play the cancer card. I am stage IV and with Chemo and anxiety sometimes I need a break. My HMO puts a sticker on the membership card..a simple green dot. It puts me ahead in the line at the pharmacy and labs and I do not have to wait in the emergency room waiting room. I am automatically put into room. It has helped at amusement parks so not to wait in the hour long lines..and yes salespeople do give you better service and also share thier story with the cancer beast. Sorry...I know it is shameless, but when I am dealing with the side effects of chemo, a little extra kindness in my life is ok in my book. And when someone is really mean, it sort of checks them into being decent. So yes with all the baggage cancer has given me...the cancer card is like a gift.

Sent by Miriam | 11:38 AM ET | 06-05-2008

Hi Leroy, Having the power go out was a real fear in our household. My dad was on oxygen the last couple of years of his life and depended on electricity to keep it flowing. When he had to begin using liquid oxygen it wasn't an issue but it was a real scare before then. Our electricity only went out once during that time...on a weekend, of course....during one of that year's hottest days. We switched to his portable unit but we didn't have enough spare tanks to last for an many, many hours and the time was passing by. I wanted to call right away....either the power company or oxygen supplier. Dad kept insisting.....no, don't bother them....wait another half an hour. We waited about an hour but then I called the "after-hours" number of our oxygen supplier on the cell phone and someone came out with lots of the big tanks. Dad could have used his "multiple illnesses card" lots of times but would have never thought of it. A disabled parking sticker was about as far as he'd go. Now, if I were in that same situation....who knows?!?

Sent by Nancy | 11:42 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I only played the "cancer card" one time, and felt torn, but still justified. I was taking my chemo in another city, living with my sister. While on a break in my hometown I bought a new DVD player, but didn't have the energy to hook it up. On another trip home I found out the DVD player didn't work properly, but just didn't have the energy to schlepp out to the mall to deal with it.

When I finally was done with chemo, and had moved home, a young salesman at the store told me I was past the warranty period and there was nothing he could do about it. I'd just have to pay to have it fixed.

Hmmm, do I now mention WHY I was unable to deal with the DVD player up until now? I hated the idea of "using" my cancer for my own gain, but before I knew it I found myself mentioning, off-handedly, that I'd missed the warranty period because I'd spent much of the summer being treated for breast cancer out of town (I was wearing a wig so he couldn't tell I was bald!).

Well, the young man seemed to melt before my eyes, told me with a tear in his eye about his grandmother who had died of breast cancer, then promptly grabbed a new DVD player off the shelf and handed it to me, no paperwork, no fuss. Even though a part of me felt like I'd "cheated", I also felt like I'd given this fellow a chance to be a "mensch" and to do something that I'm sure made him feel good inside, and also in some way honored his grandmother.

Sent by Diana Cramer | 11:44 AM ET | 06-05-2008

That's funny Leroy. After my "salvage" operation almost two years ago, we got a temporary handicap parking pass. I was a mess. Bone, tissue, and skin taken from multiple places on my leg to replace suspected cancerous bones taken from other parts of my body etc. Anyway, I was very determined to be as close to "normal" as possible. After a few months, I could walk again with assistance. One day a person who I will not mention by name drives us to Walmart and parks in the handicap parking place. I said, don't park here, this is for handicap people. The unnamed person said, yes, but this is a quick trip. One doesn't argue with this unnamed person. So, I got out and pretended to limp into the store. We played the "cancer card" in a small way that day. Needless to say, we never used that handicap sticker again. I hope this made someone smile.

Regards,
Ed
www.blogspot.hncancer.com

Sent by Ed Steger | 11:54 AM ET | 06-05-2008

I tried using the cancer card with a collection agency that very aggressively pursued payment of a hospital bill which I did not owe. Problem was with the insurance company. But this didn't stop the collection agency from harrassing me big time. I used the cancer card. It didn't have any affect on this guy at all. Takes a certain type of person to do what he does for a living. Sheesh.

Also, I have a child who can be a handful. I know there must be times when her teachers and caretakes wonder what the heck is going on in our home. Sometimes I want to throw out the cancer card so I'm not held to my usual parenting standards. You know, the whole I-have-bigger-fish-to-fry defense. But so far I haven't actually followed through on that temptation to use the card.

I figure there will come a day when using the card will be effective and useful. That day has not yet come for me.

By the way, how cool is it that you submitted your post via phone during a power outage. The visual is priceless! Thanks for sharing, as always.

Sent by J S M | 12:46 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Dear Leroy...I smiled when I read your blog today...I remember thinking when I was diagnosed that there should be a button that says "You have to be nice to me...I have cancer"...with all that we deal with in our lives if as you say "using the cancer card" works...why not...I say go for it...Fondly...Ann Pat...

Sent by Ann Patrice Sclafani-Forde | 1:03 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Hi Leroy,
If ya feel the need to play the "C" card, go for it. I'm all about comfort and whatever it takes. Hope the storm didn't hit you to hard. We had some severe storms here in WV also. Take Care

Sent by Teresa in WV | 1:07 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Leroy, you make us laugh - even in the "darkest" of times!

I rarely play the cancer card out loud, but I often play it in my head. Sometimes just imagining someone's response is amusing enough to get me through a tough situation.

Sent by Patte | 1:30 PM ET | 06-05-2008

It seems like many of us reserve the cancer card to deal with circumstances of nuisance, perceived injustice, or unnecessary expense. The only time I've used it was when my husband had to pay through the nose to replace my cell phone and then handed me the paperwork for a hefty rebate that ended up buried in a pile that I forgot about because I was too lethargic and distracted by whatever cancer-related issue had come up at the time. Lo and behold, by the time I uncovered the paperwork, the deadline had passed and I was out something like $150. Of course, that's what Sprint had been counting on when they sold us the phone for the inflated price. I was so annoyed that I wrote a letter explaining that I had missed the deadline due to the cancer treatment. It didn't work!

Sent by Kristy | 1:31 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Very funny Leroy but I doubt this is the time or place to use your cancer card. I had a job interview in Rockville this morning and it took me almost two hours to get back. The traffic lights are out for most of Rockville Pike and all over Rockville. If you don't have to drive any place, stay home! I hope they get your lights on soon.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 1:53 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Sometimes the 'cancer card' can play you! I wanted to be normal and go on a long-planned trip to Winipeg with the girls-this 3 months into chemo, in a wheel chair, carrying tons of ostomy supplies in that lonely carry-on and sporting a porta cath. Getting across the border was not easy. I, with my new chemo hairdo of the day was selected to go through a complete search. Cancer? What kind? Can't you walk? (I gave them a Katie Couric brochure and lecture on colonsocopy)You can't bring glue in luggage (ostomy supply needed!).We girls had beaded evening gowns for a special event-and the sparkly jewelry to go with them-this totally flummoxed the TSAs. They wanted to see it all.And this just before 9-11. Maybe it is easier to travel on treatment today, but in 2001 it was not. Gotta bring the sense of humor with that luggage and know that your best days are those you get to do stuff-and not be in-hospital or staying at home:-)But going out-taking a chance on a trip or dinner out;even when the meal won't be eaten it still smells better in a restaurant. You feel like normal. Go ahead. Play that card! Maybe your today's normal is having lights and just enjoying them. Sort of like Christmas.

Sent by Jo-Ellen | 2:09 PM ET | 06-05-2008

I had to use the cancer card right after I was diagnosed. I was called for jury duty. There was no way that I could physically participate on a jury, while undergoing all the treatment.

Sent by spn | 2:51 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Hi Leroy- thanks for the visual- it made me laugh. As for the cancer card, Elaine said it best- it is a card you wish you were never privileged to use. If I ever meet any of you in person, by all means use the card, and I hope you'll come over for some tea at my house. Have a beautiful day despite the weather.

Sent by linda h. | 2:51 PM ET | 06-05-2008

I have played the cancer card twice, once when I was caring for my dying mother and the a/c went out when it was in the 90's. And she did not want me to call, always thinking of others as it was a sunday. And agin when my husband was dying with lung cancer and the oxygen tank did not work properly. And never felt guilty about it. Kathy

Sent by Kathy Peacock from San Diego | 3:01 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Dear Leroy/All,
I must confess I have used it a couple of times myself.
Prayers to all sasha.

Sent by sasha321 | 3:22 PM ET | 06-05-2008

I only used it once when I was scheduled for my first radiation treatment. It was book buying day at their school and the personnel wouldn't sell my 10th graders their books because it wasn't the scheduled time for their class to buy. One of my daughters was in tears. I had a short conversation with the vice principal. We made it on time to the treatment with the books. I've experienced no guilt over using the cancer card and was grateful never to need it again.

Sent by Chris | 3:23 PM ET | 06-05-2008

I am another guilty one. Although, the only times I have used it, it was a blatant ploy just to get my way. Once I was at a small gathering with a few friends. There were a few treats being served, one type of which was particularly tasty. When there was only one of these left, there was a little playful discussion over who should get the last one and why. I said, in my most pitiful voice, " you should give it to me,,,I have cancer". The whole room cracked up laughing!! And, I got the last one. It was a little thing, but those treats were really good!

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 4:24 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Greetings Leroy and readers. Leroy, you are quite resourceful from Lima beans to Blackberrys (or cell phone). Have been reading your blog for a few months, thank you for your continued sharing with us all in this comunity that has formed there is comfort in reading the many entrys from you and the communitys replies. I used the "Cancer card" once. I was diagnosed in August of 07 with stage 4 head and neck cancer full blown. After completing 2 rounds of chemo it was time to start radiation, when contacting the dentist/oral surgen for required dental work bofore I would be given the go ahead for radiation threapy I was met with a reply that they would have to wait for insurance to approve this criticl visit, when I asked how long I would have to wait I recieved a answer up to 2 weeks, well this was unreasonabe concidering my situation. I informed them that they would be holding up my treatment because I had cancer. I learned it was quite a powerful word as I had a appt the folling day. I don't know if this was playing the cancer card per-say, but sure lit a fire either to the staff at the office and or the person holding the key to my benifits at the insurance company. Either way, it worked. Now this brings another thought to mind , seeming you were typing in the dark. I reside in south Florida, hurricane season is upon us we are bound to loose power, HUMMM I wonder if when the lights go out they would have a option in the automated system they turn on to press 1 for a power line down, 2 for a power outage and or 3 for "I have Cancer" and the lights are out as there never is a human being available down here when the storms hit. Well this was a fun topic , thanks for the chuckel. Glenn

Sent by Glenn From Florida , The Hurricane State : - ) | 4:52 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Chris: My son's school did about the same thing as yours when it came to paying for damaged books at the end of the year. I hope that if I ever have occasion to "be in charge" I remember that many families have "major things going on" and be more understanding. I didn't feel I was playing the Cancer card, just being truthful, when I called to remind them I was 250 miles away and my child and his grandmother were doing their best to just get though the year. Gee! how nieve I was when I substituted "before cancer" thinking that things actually happened the way they should. Now I know to ask more questions before I judge others.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 7:48 PM ET | 06-05-2008

I thought about using the cancer card this week at the dentist office. My cleaning appt was booked for six months and I just had started a new round of chemo treatments and was dealing with mouth sores. A woman came in late, said she had recently cancelled her appt and took her mother's appt (same time as mine,) but it wasn't in the appt book. The receptionist said one of us had to change our appt. The woman's comment was that she had kids. I said I had my appt booked for six months. I wondered what their response would have been if I had said "I have cancer"... Everything turned out for the best, they saw us both with me first!

Sent by Nancy | 8:24 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Umm..., you have cancer-- and not the best kind- of course you should play the cancer card! What's a card good for if you don't play it? Where's the fun in that? Worst thing that would happen is you'd be sitting in the dark have an interesting and uncomfortable conversation-- and then you could tell us about it!

Sent by Kelley Garry-Marschall | 11:00 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Hi Leroy,

Why are so many of us guilty about letting others know we have cancer and need a break of one kind or another? I smiled at the confessional tone of so many responses. I think that we harbor the idea that we should really try to do things the way we used to (and deeply wish we could). So it makes us
feel a little funny to put it out there. I think we should be doing just that and be comfortable with it.

Sent by Linda | 11:35 PM ET | 06-05-2008

Go for it, my man! You deserve a little extra attention! I have no problem with your using the cancer card AT ALL. (wink,wink) Hope the power comes on soon.

Sent by Linnea | 7:13 AM ET | 06-06-2008

Leroy, if you are dependent upon electricity for treatment, then for sure, call them and tell them.

Sent by Robert Sheehan | 7:26 AM ET | 06-06-2008

Being the frugality fiend that I am, I tried to use the "cancer card" to get on an extension on an expired coupon to have our dog groomed. Even though I was in the hospital when the coupon expired, the owner denied the coupon. Imagine that!

I was successful, however, when talking to a mechanic about how long it would take to get my car back. He wanted the rest of the week. I whined that I needed the car to drive to daily doctor appointments. Then I pulled off my wig to reveal my bald scalp. That did the trick. I had my car back the next day. Oh, I'm so shameless!

Sent by Susan C | 11:36 AM ET | 06-06-2008

There is no way to be patient, you just have to wait and see. My prayers are with you Leroy all you can think about is whatever comes along, if any thing, you will deal with it, you always have.

Sent by Ruth White | 11:52 AM ET | 06-06-2008

Why shouldn't you use the "cancer card"? You deserve to. My ex mother-in-law could barely walk because of her arthritis, and she never wanted to get a disabled placard, because she didn't think she should take advantage of such a thing. Sometimes we had to carry her over steps. I don't think you should be ridiculous about it, but you do deserve to play the card.

Sent by Sara Chan | 5:21 PM ET | 06-06-2008

Leroy we're in the same area but I'm further to the west. The power's on now but keeps going on & off. I hadn't thought about the cancer card but it's darned uncomfortable & one of the effects my cancer has on my body is already feeling hot all the time, so this one's tempting.
I guess being without FIOS thus not being able to blog isn't an emergency but when I finished a long awaited medical appointment yesterday I felt as if I NEEDED to vent to readers yesterday. But if you can manage, so can I :)

Sent by Susan Reynolds / BoobsOnIce,com | 6:18 PM ET | 06-06-2008

When my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer he was denied social security benefits. My husband worked as a mechanic for 30 years and paid into the system. Unbeknowst to me, he wrote SS a letter and reminded them he paid in for 30 years and "what part of Stage IV cancer did they not understand". Needless to say our checks including back payment were deposited into our account about 30 days later.

Sent by Irene Sabourin | 7:21 PM ET | 06-06-2008

Leroy and fellow writers,
I work for a utility and felt the need to tell you that if you do need electricity service for health reasons you should call them - preferably now, before there is an outage. I know from family experience that when your dealing with major illness that contacting utilities is probably last on the list, but many companies will code your account and have an customer advocate be in contact with you if it's a sustained outage to ensure you are safe until the power comes back.

Sent by Trish | 6:00 PM ET | 06-27-2008