Leroy,
You always manage to eloquently say the exact thing we all are thinking.
I don't watch many movies...except foreign ones....so anything by Merchant and Ivory are great....and Lauries' face. You need to have that as a focal point to see how she'll age. Sorry Laurie, absolutely no offense meant, but we women do face that. And seems to me, but am pretty sure you are one important person to Leroy!!! And vice versa.
And Johnne Donne. "Death Be Not Proud".
That will surely give you the upper hand.
We are all going where you are, and life has its own way of deciding, time, place and date. We just need to maneuver around it, until we get that final thing done.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:22 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good Friday Morning Leroy and Laurie~ You have made me hate Fridays because I shall not be able to "hear" from you for the next two days. Isn't that awful? See what you have done to me? You certainly have found plenty to LIVE for! Not those movies, which you obviously love, but all the little things in life that make life special. I particulary was touched by Scott S. in yesterday's late post. He wrote so beautifully about not wanting to die but having married his Sweetheart recently, knowing he was going to leave soon. He sounds so resigned to it, yet happy with his choices. My Congratulations to you Scott. You are so brave. May you both cram a lot of living and loving into what time you have together!!

Sent by J C R | 7:24 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,
Maybe there's a great philly cheesesteak place opening soon? Thinking of you...

Sent by Lisa D. | 7:37 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy - I am counting on you to keep writing this blog!!! I want to read each and every day an entry from you!! NO DEADLINE HERE - just keep writing. NO RED MARK ON THIS CALENDAR - just keep writing. You have many reasons to stay alive and this is just one of them.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 7:42 AM ET | 06-13-2008

To Leroy and Laurie,

blessing the boats
by Lucille Clifton

(at St. Mary's)

may the tide
that is entering even now
the lip of our understanding
carry you out
beyond the face of fear
may you kiss
the wind then turn from it
certain that it will
love your back may you
open your eyes to water
water waving forever
and may you in your innocence
sail through this to that

From Quilting: Poems 1987-1990 by Lucille Clifton. Copyright ?? 2001 by Lucille Clifton. Reprinted with permission of BOA Editions Ltd. All rights reserved.

Sent by Barbara from Massachusetts | 7:42 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,

Set high goals! A movie that is just in production now. Sue Chap: can you put Leroy on the guest list?

Willpower does make a difference. My Mother was given "hours" on a Monday. My birthday was Wednesday. She died on Thursday. I am convinced she held it together so as to survive my birthday.

Liz Z: Should we set a date for our road trip to Leroy? Not too soon!

BTW: I am running a bake sale for a Relay for Life event in my town tonight. I will be thinking of my friends "on the blog" tonight.

Have a good weekend. Happy Father's day, Dads!

Sent by Liz L. | 7:43 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Don't think they've printed a calendar far enough out in time for you to pick that date, Leroy. You've had one heck of a week. I hope you can enjoy your weekend and find peace. We love you!

Sent by Jen | 7:47 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Ah the return of some humor. Nice...I remember as a student nurse, sitting in an auditorium listening the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross teaching us about death and dying. As she discussed each stage, carefully warning us, that the stages are simply guidelines and not rigid steps, she was talking about bargaining. Her patient was female, and simply asked, Please let me see my son get married, well that did occur. With a glint in her eye, the patient then turned to EKR and said, you know, I have one more son. Of course we all laughed.

I kept "carrots" out in front of my mom, graduation, passing my boards as PA,my first PA job, whatever I could come up with . I even tried that with dad. Somethings are supposed to happen when they are supposed to happen and that is just the way it is.

I like putting a goal, landmark event, something out there, you need something to reach for whether you are fighting cancer or not. It is that part of us that makes us human.

Thank you all for the good wishes on my engagement. I felt a little joy was needed as we support each other daily.

Enjoy the weekend, I do hope storms are not in your forecast.

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:47 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good morning, Leroy! What a great idea..... I suppose we all do this in our own ways. I know I am always "looking forward" in one way or another, to my next meal, to the weekend, to a vacation, to my birthday, to Christmas. All things that "keep me going" through what feel like the more mundane moments. Again, what a great idea! Happy looking to you. :-)

Sent by Joyce Smith | 7:48 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How about our country's 250th independence celebration? That'll give you a little extra time to "get affairs in order"! Try to make the week-end a sweet one. Love to you two.

Sent by Susan | 7:54 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Well, movie promoters would be all over this one!

I just looked up what Wes Anderson is doing and on 2009, he will be putting forth "The Fantastic Mr Fox" by Roald Dahl. That will be something.

Also, live to hear good music! I recommend Kathleen Edwards "Asking for Flowers."

You could also aim for Woody Allen's last film!

I like your thinking Leroy. xo

Sent by sarah | 7:57 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I heard about this romantic comedy with a tragic subplot called "Leroy & Laurie: Living Life Big". It's going to be a HUGE hit!!
The script is still being worked on but it looks AWESOME!! Definitely think about sticking around for that one.
your fighting Irish friend, Debra

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 8:07 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy...you're too funny. How about Sexless and The City? That's a long way off.

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 8:07 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy - Don't you want to see who wins the election next November? It's less than five months away. And you need to vote! (I won't say for whom.)

:)

Wendy

Sent by Wendy | 8:12 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, How about the second coming as a date. It wouldn't matter after that anyway.
I am in remission myself at this time, but the when always has a way of creeping up in your mind. It has changed me. Mostly for the better. I just try and enjoy something about each day.

Sent by John | 8:15 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Maybe past the first Tuesday in November to see how this election cycle will play out? Has the potential to have all the "drauma" of the daytime soaps! ;-> lac

Sent by Lou Ann Caywood | 8:26 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I have one for you - The documdrama that delves into the lives of the people who discovered the cure for cancer... I vote you shoot for that one!

To quote bad rock and roll, "hold on loosely, but don't let go."

My love, prayers, and lawn mowing prowess is at your disposal.

Sent by Robin L. | 8:27 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dearest Leroy, AND YOU ARE STILL AMAZING!! TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY! My husband and I are hospice volunteers and we were taught what you just know! People have control over when they die. Even when we think that they are not there - they do just as you say - a special person coming; a special event; whatever!! Just do what you can for yourself; have you ever tried macrobiotic diet? Have heard things about that that it helped - what do I know? And make that special something something way in the future! Just make sure that you make certain that all is done for you to be in the least amount of pain. Take care of you and much love to Laurie. Have a good weekend and much love to you.

Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 8:29 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I really want to see the Olympics in Chicago in 2016. How great would that be to be able to see the Olympics in my own backyard. Pencil me in and I'll buy your ticket!

Sent by jen barad | 8:30 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you acknowledge the "power" of willpower, as opposed to some invisible old dude up in the sky somewhere as being the force that sustains people to experience what is most important to them.

Instead of giving up and saying, "If it be Thy will," you take responsibility for living and all that means, and that's real courage, not leaning on what's so often the crutch of religion.

Fight as long as you want, Leroy.

Sent by Leonard | 8:31 AM ET | 06-13-2008

All the movies are going to be good, reason is best used to send the kids to bed early, it's always good to have goals and red is the reserved calendar color for holidays.

Hold Fast, Wishing you a schedule full of mysteriously happy red days & TGIF.

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 8:35 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good morning. I love your attitude, and you are making me become a better person by keeping up with you. May you have a comfortable day...much love sent your way. Cindi

Sent by Cindi | 8:38 AM ET | 06-13-2008

It seems to me that one thing that has kept you going is knowing that you are giving encouragement to lots of folks, some you can see and most that you can't.You have done that in spades and continue to do so. Encourging the spirit of others is something you can do every day you have on this planet, as can we all. If we all can only remember the importance of a word of encourgement of kindness, no matter how small it may seem to us....... Plus there is the drama of the vice-president selection to watch!
Keeping a good thought for you, Ann

Sent by Ann | 8:42 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I think will power is a good part of it. As soon as my husband's oncologist told him no more treatment and turned him over to hospice, he kinda gave up. He died 2 weeks later, and I think it was partly his will power, and sense things to keep trying that kept him going, against the odds.

Sent by Teri | 8:42 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good Day Leroy!!! Watched the Bucket List on DVD and it was quite good...I know it will remind you instead of "take you away", but Morgan Freeman is excellent, as is Nicholson. SOme of their antics might be over the top and I know it is just a movie, but it might be a film you could interpret as a sort of starting point. I wish you all the best in your journey towards Peace. Marcy

Sent by Marcy | 8:44 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How about staying around to see who is elected president? This will probably be a history making event--at least I hope so. What do you think?

Sent by Hilary Platt | 8:45 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Hi Leroy,

For me, I want to know that my sons can take care of themselves. I know my wife can take care of herself, she has been a fighter all of her life.

My youngest son has been lonely all of his life. He is 26 now and has found his soul mate. They are coming to visit during the 4th of July weekend. He sounds so happy it brings tears to my eyes.

The thought of a grandchild has certainly crossed my mind, as well.

I suspect that you won't have any problem coming up with many choices. Which one will be the most special for you. I think each one will be special as it happens.

Sent by Tom Escott | 8:47 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, I have an ominus feeling today about your messaging being late. Do you have tests today? If yes, then good luck and good news with them. You have not talked about what the next step is going to be. You said that they "still had a few options yet". Love you both.

Sent by J C R | 8:48 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Lwroy,
You are such a wonderful person. The world would be a poorer place without you. I hope that counts as a reason.

love,
Helen

Sent by Helen Ferguson | 8:53 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I follow you each day, even though I have never written until today. There are strangers out here who have know, at least second hand, others like you and just want you to know that we are here.

Sent by jill | 8:55 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,
Just the hope of another tomorrow.

Sent by kathie | 8:57 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Hello, Leroy. I totally agree about setting goals. Through my own cancer experience I have done the same. Are you a Dan Brown fan? The Angels & Demons movie with Tom Hanks is scheduled to come out on May 15, 2009. How's that for a goal?

My best to you,

Sent by Julie G. | 8:57 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How about your HUNDREDTH BIRTHDAY?

Now that would be a real red letter day!

Sounds like a plan to me.

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 8:58 AM ET | 06-13-2008

When our son told us we were going to be grandparents (and I'd already had been given a "six-month" expiration,) I asked for "five years" - we just celebrated the grandson's 6th birthday and Little Sister's 5th is coming up in December.

Should I have asked for 10?

Teach us to number our days!

Sent by Vicky (NY) | 8:59 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Books are a good motivation aren't they? Maybe it will be when you FINISH writing your memoirs. Perhaps you should get STARTed. For someone who's lived so much in such a short span of time, it may take a while to get your story on paper! Oh and yes, Harry was worth the wait -- that's for sure!
Sending my affection today and always.
Rhonda Howard

Sent by Rhonda Howard | 9:14 AM ET | 06-13-2008

This is my first post. Leroy, I have been reading your blog every day for the past 18 months. It's the first thing I do every day when I log in at work. I never responded because me, nor anyone in my family, friends, or family history has cancer. I felt that I had no right to respond to your blog because I am not in the cancer world and could not even presume to know what having cancer is like. I didn't understand then the pull to read your blog so faithfully.

That changed 8 weeks ago. Stunningly, I was diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer with positive lymph node involvement. It's been a whirlwind. I've had a full mastectomy and yesterday completed my 2nd dense-dose chemo treatment. I have 14 treatments left followed by 30 radiation treatments.

When I found out, I couldn't read your blog. Did God lead me to your blog all those months ago to prepare me for my own journey? I don't know. It took me weeks to log back in. Slowly and surely, in my loneliness and isolation, you pulled me back.

I'm crying now because writing to your blog for the first time is something I never wanted to do. Doing so, would mean I have cancer.

Thank you for givng me courage, insight, laughter, and yes, tears when I needed them.

You inspired me to start my own blog.

www.anneorr.blogspot.com

Leroy, I imagine you well. Now, if you'll excuse me...I need to find a tissue.

God speed to all who have inspired me by your comments to Leroy. You are all heroes.

Sent by Anne Orr | 9:17 AM ET | 06-13-2008

There's always thenext Harry Potter movie. The next is coming out in November.
Love to you
Melissa

Sent by Melissa Weber | 9:19 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,
You still have that great sense of humor. I'm sure you will find a spot on your calendar to mark in red and I hope it's a long way off!

As always, prayers to you and Laurie.

Sent by sasha321 | 9:19 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good Morning Leroy. You raise an interesting question. I wonder if some of us reach a point where the next step is more inviting than standing still.

My personal goal is be sure our grandson knows all the family stories although Indiana Jones #30 sounds pretty good, too.

Sent by glenda | 9:20 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How bout living long enough to see the cure for cancer? That's something to shoot for...:0)

Have a great day Leroy.

God bless you.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 9:20 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good morning, Leroy. Your question "What keeps us alive?" is as unanswerable as "What happens to us when we die?" at least to me. But I do know anecdotally from Hospice that people often will somehow choose the moment of their death, waiting til loved ones are not in the room or waiting until someone gets there to say a final good-bye. It's a cool question because it opens up the possibility that we actually have more control over things than we could think possible. I think you should wait at least to see what happens after the elections; who wins and what kind of trouble they get us all into...there are so many things you could wait to see. How about waiting until gasoline goes back to $2 a gallon?

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:22 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I stumbled across your blog in the fall of 2006 when my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He is doing very well now and I still read your blog faithfully because it always provides hope, inspiration, strength, courage, smiles, happy tears, sad tears, quite laughter, riotous laughter, perseverance, determination, compassion and such an honest look at life and all that is important and unimportant as we travel our journey. Thanks so much for unselfishly always sharing yourself with us. God bless you and be with you.

Sent by Joyce Ryan | 9:23 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Here's a little story to lighten everyone's heart. My mother was diagnosed with terminal liver mets in Feb 2007. She began setting goals. Her 81st birthday was April 16, so that was an easy one. We had a party, and celebrated Mom for one last birthday. She began to decline rapidly after that, each day bringing new challenges. Even though many somber moments were ahead, we planned a surprise 21st birthday party for my eldest son. May 25th, the BIG DAY. During the course of the party, Mom strolls out in her bathing suit, and shocks the life out of these 20 something year old men. She was once again the LIFE of the party, as she had been so often in the past(Her eye surgeon at Emory called her a "hoot"). Mom left us on June 19, 2007, just 3 short weeks later. Leroy, never give up your dreams and though this beast will win, don't go down without a fight. Sending you lots of prayers and HUGS,

Sent by Cheryl Etzel | 9:26 AM ET | 06-13-2008

From the deaths of my loved ones, I've come to believe people sometimes choose the moment they'll go. My father, my sister, and my brother-in-law hung on and would not let go until their loved ones left the room for some reason. I think it was their last attempt to spare us grief.

For the final month of her life, my sister had an agenda of visits from loved ones, both friends and relatives. The night she said goodbye to the dearest of them, she told me, "I can go now" saying she'd seen everyone she really needed to see. The next day she drifted into a state somewhere in-between and was gone two days later, choosing a moment when I left her side.

Somehow I find great consolation in knowing that she went in her own way, in her own time.

Love to you both.

Sent by Brenda | 9:26 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I laughed out loud when I read the last line of your post today. It brought me back to one of my most vivid memories of my brother, who died of cancer in 2005--although Michael was devestated to be facing death at age 51, he still kept a great sense of humor about his illness and everything else and would come out with these funny unexpected lines. I miss him every day and things like your movie comment remind me of him. Thank you. And I appreciated your wife's comments the other day. I don't have cancer (that I know of--I've learned not to take anything for granted in that regard) and I don't know either of you, but you are both an inspiration and in my thoughts.

Sent by Cheryl Kimball | 9:27 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How could you not want to stick around to see what happens in November?? This year has been rich for us political junkies and the best is yet to come.

I've been reading your blog for over two years, this is my first comment. I wanted to tell you how much reading your thoughts has meant to me.
Thursday was the 12th anniversary of my father's death from melanoma and I still miss him every day. He didn't live to see me married and never got to meet my beautiful daughter. He died so quickly that I didn't have the chance to ask him what he was thinking or feeling--in fact we got his official diagnosis on the morning that he died after he had lapsed into a coma. I was so afraid for him and afraid to see him suffer--this was my big strong dad after all.

I'm happy for your family, friends and all of your readers that you decided to share your journey with us.

Peace

Sent by T | 9:27 AM ET | 06-13-2008

There is that unique blending of humor and tough life that we love. Poignant, but with Leroy's unique touch of humor.

I guess that very serious point though, has to be your choice alone, dear Leroy.

We love you and we're with you and we'll support any decision you make. Please find joy in this upcoming weekend!

'til we meet again, peace...

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:31 AM ET | 06-13-2008

The first things that come to my mind are the Olympics and the election. I know I was not sure I would see either one (and who knows that I will) but they are things for me to look forward to.

Every holiday, birthday, or special annual event that passes I always wonder if I will see the same thing next year. I am often sad to think about it, but so grateful to have yet another year (it has been almost three and a half years since I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer).

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you. I need to get on that last Harry Potter book, haven't read it yet so thanks for reminding me.

Sent by Andi Daschbach | 9:32 AM ET | 06-13-2008

My two are...when hell freezes over, and...when pigs fly. (c:

Sent by Nancy Kelly | 9:35 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I invite you to attend my niece's wedding. I know that she will be a beautiful bride. No gifts necessary, just the honor of your presence. She hasn't picked a specific date yet. She just graduated from kindergarten. I'll save you a seat.

Sent by Penny Coeur d'Alene, Idaho | 9:38 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good morning! There will be an inauguration in January without a Republican taking office :)

Sent by Julie | 9:44 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Hey Leroy
Did you and Laurie ever get married? How about a wedding special event with your best friend?
Just a thought

Sent by Roxanne in California | 9:46 AM ET | 06-13-2008

22 years ago, my grandmother in Germany had a series of severe strokes. They thought she would die in hours. I was in Germany on a work program and was able to go see her after several days. My aunt said all she had talked about before her stroke was my visit and seeing me after years. The visit at the hospital was hard - I barely recognized her and she could not talk. But I could see in her eyes that she was very aware. I talked to her and kissed her. Within hours after my visit she passed away. My aunt was convinced that my Oma hung on just to see me one more time.

The thing I had to look forward to at dx was making it to my son's high school graduation, which just took place. Now I am planning on being at my daughter's graduation. That's 5 years from now but why not think big? Right now I'm thinking if I make it 5 years the miracle will be surviving her teenage years.

Sent by Marcia | 9:50 AM ET | 06-13-2008

An underlying, often unspoken theme of any discussion of cancer is fear. Fear of death. We fear the unknown. Most people can push that fear of their own eventual death out of their minds, but cancer patients are forced to deal with it.
I can't stress enough how valuable hospice was in my husband's last days, not just with practical assistance (no more exhausting doctor's appointments, nurses with an instant phone connect to doctors, medications delivered...) but in taking away the fear. They told us what to expect, both physically and emotionally. There are stages of denial, acceptance, withdrawal, release (I forget exactly what the stages were called) that we never would have been prepared for without them. There is a reason why people describe them as angels. They are nurses and counselors who know what they are doing and what we are facing. Almost everyone describes them as dear precious friends.
Like every thing else about cancer, hearing others' stories helps so much. John and I were petrified about what we might be facing. We met a man who said his mother had had the same cancer and only "had 4 days at the end of her life when she couldn't get out of bed". Something about that bit of information helped tremendously.
The other big fear, of course, is the unknown of what happens when we die. I lost that fear when I read, "Life After Life", a doctor's reporting of patient's near-death experiences. That has now morphed into true religious faith for me, but the book would be fascinating reading for anyone, no matter what their religion, or lack of, might be.
I think that John's greatest fear was separation from the people he loved. I told him that I thought time was different in heaven. (God created the world in 7 days...People who have near death experiences saw their whole life's story, but were unconscious for mere minutes...) I told John that waiting for me to join him in heaven would be like waiting for me to come home for supper, not like a wait at all. He loved that thought. My wait, of course, is so much longer.
Whether our fellow bloggers are late stage, new to cancer, or cancer-free, I think delving into this most difficult issue of fear is helpful. Let's look it in the face. I know that we have to be sensitive to different religious views, but there is much that we have in common and much to share. Thanks for the opportunity, Leroy.

Sent by Laura | 9:57 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy:

I've been reading this blog for at least 2 years. I've forwarded it to my mother-in-law, who is fighting ovarian cancer. I don't have cancer, but you've made me appreciate life in new and curious ways. And for that I am eternally grateful.
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

Sent by Adam | 10:11 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How about planning a sweet little wedding? That would sure be something to look forward to.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 10:20 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy - Mozart's 300th birthday celebration in 2056 in Salzburg, Austria works for me. How about for you? See you there!

Sent by Art Ritter | 10:21 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I love seeing some humor today. Yes indeed Leroy, you do have some fight left in you!
I am still praying for a miracle!

Sent by Stacy | 10:24 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Have you read any Terry Pratchett books? How about reading all of those, then as another goal, waiting for peace on earth? Two more goals - all of us want to see Sue Chap married - and you and Laurie too. We're all going to be so busy!
I also hate Fridays as I miss you and everyone over the weekend.

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 10:36 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Can I pass this along? I am doing so because I am wondering if anyone has done any follow up on this study http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/174/7/937
Has anyone questioned their MD about it? The subjects in this study all had very advanced cancer (and with intervention had good outcomes). Of course, the 'n' was quite low. I can see on the bottom that they have begun clincial trials.

Anyhow, if anyone has any information I'd love to hear it.

Sent by Jan | 10:47 AM ET | 06-13-2008

The end of the Bush Administration!!!

Sent by Brian from PA | 10:58 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I'm pretty sure my husband is still here because he simply could not leave without seeing how Battlestar Gallactica turns out.

Sent by Ricci | 11:00 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,
I have to keep on living because my kids need me (they are adults). As for movies I think the summer has given us few good choices. When I lived in California I went to the movies almost every weekend. My movie buddy and I lived 65 miles apart and we would meet half way and see two, even three movies in one day. Since I moved to PA six months ago I have only seen four movies. However, the last previews I saw showed some good stories coming out. Of course, I can't remember the names, but they look good and I will see some of them.
I am hoping you find a worthy goal.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 11:00 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,
Honestly...when I saw you on TV with your bud Ted Koppel I remember feeling slapped in the face when you said you may not be around for the Harry Potter end. I thought that would be unbearable and I thanked God when you made it that far. Thank you for your journey and say Hi to Dumbledore, Fred, Dobby, and the crew when you get home. Blessings, Rose

Sent by Rose | 11:01 AM ET | 06-13-2008

A wedding would be nice!

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 11:02 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Happy Friday
Loved your post today, looks like you are getting back to your old self, great that you have this mindset.
For my sister the thing to look forward to was seeing her little grandaughter walk for the first time. This little girl grew up on cancer wards. She spent most of her first year travelling to and from hospital in the back of her moms car. She learned to walk on the last cancer ward that my sister was in, the one where she died. This little girl cracked me up. She would climb on the bed and use it as a trampoline. By this time my sister was pretty much out of it but it made me and my niece laugh so much. My sister would have loved every minute of it. The last image I have of my sister before she died was of Leah lying spreadeagled on top of her grandmother, kissing her face and hugging her. She still knows her from photographs 2 years later.
Peace to you this weekend Leroy and Laurie. I am looking forward to Monday so I can hear from you again.

Sent by Fay | 11:07 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I once gave a friend who had terminal cancer a Bonsai tree. Just for the symbolism ---- I wanted her to live on and on and on, just like that miniature tree.

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 11:13 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Okay, maybe we should all write to J.K. Rowling and convince her to write just ONE MORE Potter book?! It's worth a try. Then you'd have to hang on for that one, Leroy. As for me, I want to live long enough to become a grandma -- and then long enough for a few memorable adventures with the grandkids. OF course, before that can happen, my sons will both have to find satisfying work and settle down with someone they love. All of that will take a few years, I figure. And then --maybe we can just keep moving the goalposts out a bit further?

Wishing you a peaceful weekend with your loved ones gathered close around you after this difficult week.We'll wait right here...

Sent by Doris | 11:16 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,

I thank you every morning as I read your blog for insights as to how to live life....

Although I have never written before over these many months of "lurking" I just wanted to tell you to let your "willpower" find your DREAM.

Wishing you and Laurie all the best that life has to bring,

Sent by Kay | 11:17 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,

I thank you every morning as I read your blog for insights as to how to live life....

Although I have never written before over these many months of "lurking" I just wanted to tell you to let your "willpower" find your DREAM.

Wishing you and Laurie all the best that life has to bring,

Sent by Kay | 11:17 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Hi Leroy,
Here's one. You might want to hang on until gas goes down to $2 a gallon again! Believe me that will take a long, long time (if ever). Actually, reading the bible over a year might be something to aspire to. You could divide the number of pages in your bible by 365 and then read that amount everyday. A good version like the New American Standard will make the reading and understanding much better. If the whole bible is too big a hurdle you could just read a few selected books. Maybe Genesis, Exodus, and the four Gospels, John, Mark, Matthew, and Luke.
Take care. I am still praying for you.
Have a peaceful weekend.
Rita

Sent by Rita | 11:18 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,

I suspect that what keeps us alive is different for everyone. It reminds me of the old joke about the dying lady who makes a deal with God that she will live to see her daughter married. She does and God comes for her and she says, "But I have four more daughters!"

You are a pretty resilient fellow. I just want you to know that I admire that so much. Have a good weekend.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:18 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Thanks for bringing 'Will' to the table...I just passed a flurry of activities I had planned and feel exhausted...time to plan more! I really appreciate everyone's contributions today and offer a special hug to Ann Orr.

Sent by Joan S. | 11:20 AM ET | 06-13-2008

As my Johnny Cash said, "As Long As The Grass Shall Grow".. Would that work!!

Bless you and yours..

Sent by Patsy | 11:24 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Greetings Leroy and Laurie, This was easy for me. DX in AUG 07 given 6 months I was determined to fight the beast within, see my daughter is 16 a brillient writer of poetry and prose, won local awards and published in 3 books to date, well I fought hard 37X RAD's and 12 rounds of chemo (so far) and found remission, I feel my desire to see her through graduate school is a driving force and if this happens I will be past the golden 5 year mark of remission ! I hope to be here to watch her graduate and beyond. As for movies I just watched "The Bucket List" Have Lourie go rent it for you seems to be fitting. Leroy, make your bucket list and see it through to the best of your abilitys don't have to climb MT Everest, I am sure there are things you still want to acomplesh in this lifetime. Will miss you until Monday rolls around, enjoy your weekend, you sure have had a rough week. Glenn

Sent by Glenn from Florida | 11:25 AM ET | 06-13-2008

You're right about the will to stay alive for a specific goal. My oncologist replied once when I wished him a Merry Christmas that he never enjoys the holidays. He added that his terminally ill patients are trying to live till Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the new year. He works terribly hard to do whatever he can to prevent the family having to mark the holidays in years to come as an anniversary of their loved ones' death. He further said that the statistics for deaths among his patients are outstanding during the holidays, but plummet after the new year. There is definitely will involved.
Have you been thinking of going back to Hawaii?
Sue Chap, BEST of luck with your new life with your soon to be husband. Your parents WILL be there at your wedding, have no doubt.

Sent by Nancy K Clark | 11:36 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, your sense of humor is a glowing beacon in this vast pit of darkness. How about marking a Cubs World Series victory parade on your calendar.

Peace to you........
Dave
Dallas Tx.

Sent by Dave Wright | 11:36 AM ET | 06-13-2008

I am still praying for you LeRoy that the LORD will give you wisdom, courage and strength. GOD BLESS YOU and your FAMILY.

Sent by Ken | 11:37 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Hi Leroy and Laurie,
I have been reading your blog for about a year now and I want you to know that you have been a great source of inspiration to me. I was diagnosed with a pre-cancerous condition about 2 years ago and after several surgical procedures and a year and a half of never knowing what was waiting for me around the next corner, my test results have finally come back normal. Although I don't know what it is like to live in Cancer World... I do know what it is like in the purgatory between the real world and Cancer World. Your positive but realistic outlook has helped me and countless others find the strength to keep going. I know that you will make whatever time you have left, whether it be weeks or months or even years, filled with greatness. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your constant inspiration.
-
Dawn in Texas

PS... if you loved Harry Potter, I highly recommend Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan. The 4th book just came out and there is a whole lot of story left to look forward to!

Sent by Dawn Wright | 11:38 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy

Wait until it comes out on video! Prince Caspian is very good. Need to see the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe first, if you haven't already. A good epic (especially with magical creatures) is always good for the soul.

Much Love,

Donna in Virginia

Sent by Donna Bennett | 11:46 AM ET | 06-13-2008

How about seeing the year 2020 in?? That sort of works. Some time but not too greedy. I am going to aim for that I do think! Love your post today. It is certainly vintage Leroy. I hope you have an outstanding weekend!

Sent by JaeMoyer | 11:47 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Good morning Leroy,
When I was given my expiration date...I cried. Not because I had cancer but because I was not going to be around to see my daughters graduate law school and the other get her teaching credetial. I also mourned the fact that they would marry and I would not be there to see it. Well....I am still her..I saw them both graduate and my daughter just left this morning for her honeymoon. I have outlived my original expiration date I think out of pure stubborness that no one is going to tell me what to do. I plan on being around to see my future grandchildren and if not....will leave lots of memories with my daughters of my life.
I feel like I am in the movie the bucket list.....checking off all the things I want to do and not letting cancer or anything else get in my way.
Faith and hope are my best friends.
take care

Sent by Miriam | 11:48 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, I guess, for me, it is the next day. Sounds a bit lame I know, but to savor each day as best any of us can seems the most important thing. We all know this time is a gift, use it to make you happy. I think that Happiness is what keeps us alive. See you Monday. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:51 AM ET | 06-13-2008

My mom was feisty, always was. She was in Hospice and dying and it was February 29, 2008 (Leap Year Day). She waited just seconds into March 1 to die. Knowing her, she refused to die on a day that only came about every four years. She wanted to be remembered annually, so she waited a minute or two. She would be remembered daily by me as it turns out. What a wonderful woman! Perhaps more importantly, she was in Hospice for almost a year. The will is a powerful thing!

Sent by Susan | 11:53 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Hi Leroy,
You are in such a "roller coaster" of emotions now.
Please don't think that this is your time to leave this world. Things look very serious and unsurmountable at this moment. Talk with your Doc's about treatment options. Don't dwell in the cancer, I don't mean to demean the seriousness of the cancer, I mean don't dwell on it. Everyday "stay in the moment" "stay in today" "think positive". And stay away from anything negative. You need HOPE, and you have that!

Page, Gresham Oregon

Sent by Page Hendryx | 11:57 AM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, this is the second time I have posted, and would like to say thank you- once again. You have been a quiet inspiration for me. I have been living with cml for 4 years, and thank God, I"m still in remission. My family and friends have been able to comfortably put cancer on the back burner,and forget for awhile. But as you know we who live with it are never far from the "beast". So everyday I visit you on your blog, and know there are many out there who travel this journey also. The only time my family is invited in is when I ask God to "Bless Leroy", at our family meal each night. God Bless you and Laurie. Please know how many lives you have touched.

Sent by Andrea | 12:04 PM ET | 06-13-2008

For whatever reason I feel compelled to comment on the awkward posting a few days ago by "Friend." I believe what she observed, as well as yearns for, is a life like yours Leroy - a life rich with meaning, purpose and connection. In this way you have been blessed, and I believe you know this. In difficult times like these, however, it is difficult to hold on to that truth. It can be easily and understandably overshadowed by fear, pain and a sense of loss and unfairness. No matter where this leads, you are living your life in a remarkable way Leroy, and I am greateful for your willingness to share it with us.

Sent by Holly | 12:05 PM ET | 06-13-2008

My husband should not be alive today, but he is. Why you ask, I say it is exactly what you said today, he wanted to stay alive to see his first grand child & then he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle & do the daddy-daughter dance, & now he wants to see the second grand child who will be here very soon. His last PET showed some possible spots on his only remaining lung. He has coughed up some blood after getting a cold, but I quit my job & we loaded up & are in Michigan to see the new grand child. He was diagnosed with satge 4 lung cancer 2 1/2 years ago & after having his entire right lung removed & 4 out of 6 chemo treatments, he has done good. We will see the new grand child then head back to Florida for the next PET & then pick another event that he just has to be alive for. Keep the faith!! Thanks for everything Leroy. He have helped us all.

Sent by Kathy | 12:09 PM ET | 06-13-2008

"We need to stop concentrating on spending money on outerspace and nonsense studies and concentrate on this f@#*& disease. Enough already!

Judy"

Wow Judy, I wish more people felt like you! A big problem I see with our for PROFIT health care system is that not everybody is pushing in the same direction, so progress is slow. Imagine lowering cancer rates (plus other diseases) just by changing health care systems:
"Blimey! Americans sicker than the Brits"
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12595624/from/ET

______________

Hey Leroy, what's the new battle plan?

Sent by Martin | 12:15 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,
Each person that writes or reads this blog it the "reason in red to keep on going". Hundreds of us (your extended family) either read or write on this blog daily. You have given us strength and courage whether we are dealing with an illness or a caregiver or lost someone dear to us. Let us and Laurie be those reasons to keep fighting. We are here for you and Laurie and even in the dark night when you think you are alone...just remember...they are hundreds of us right there beside you. We want to be your family, your friend and your strength. Hope your weekend is a pleasant one. Love and Hugs

Sent by Teresa in WV | 12:17 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,

You are a gem with tremendous wisdom. Keep looking foward! Keep seeing the good!

Sent by Nicole | 12:26 PM ET | 06-13-2008

My father was a type 1 diabetic. As the diabetes progressed, he was faced with the reality of having 2 children who were not yet legal age. My mother had already passed away. I watched him hang in there until my younger brother turned 18. I was 19. To this day, I am so indebted to him for his decision and strength to see us reach early adulthood. I recommend not spending too much time looking for that reason. Once an individual accepts their fate, the reason to keep going will present itself to you. Just stay busy making everyday count.

Sent by Kathy B. | 12:33 PM ET | 06-13-2008

My dad always said he wanted to live long enough to retire, died on his 65th birthday. My husband & I both have stage 4 cancer (his lung, mine breast) and we want to see our 12 yr old graduate from college. At a minimum.

Sent by Amy in NYC | 12:45 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Good Friday morning! (Well, it's still morning here in the Pacific NW ...) How wonderful your voice, Leroy, as well as the voices of "the family". I've about decided that that's what we all are to one another -- Not so much an army anymore, but a family (with the occasional kooky cousin and crazy uncle!). I just want to say that my heart is full to overflowing with all the goodness of this loving community; with you (and Laurie) at the helm -- I wish we could have a family reunion on a beautiful summer's day; to celebrate YOU and the honor and integrity and care and humor of your life, and all that you inspire and bring out in each one of us every day. I'd like to celebrate this family reunion this year and oh, say, for the next thirty years or so, until old age claims wears us all down.

With warmest affection to you, Laurie, and ALL for a lovely weekend and Father's Day,

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:59 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy - come to Hawaii again, see the sunset and have a maitai. I can put you and Laurie up, how about New Years?

Sent by claire | 1:07 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy you are so wonderfully eloquent and able to journey to a common thread. When my husband's cancer exploded (Hodgkins Lymphoma), he was working on a project at our non-profit, computerizing our donor list. He worked a few hours each morning, then we had lunch together, then he would return home to rest while I continued with my work day. I noticed as the project was nearing completion that he began to dawdle and procrastinate about completing it, and I understood why. He felt that that project, the commitment he made to the project, was one of the things keeping him alive. And I believe it was. He made a commitment to perform that service, and he did. As we complete the projects, it's probably a good thing to be planning the next one. I don't know what movies you want to see Leroy, but I do believe that you're needed here. Right here. On this blog. To lead us. To be here. We need you Leroy. Don't ever forget that.

Sent by Annie | 1:09 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy:

Willpower, strength, great family, friends and things, have kept my patients going longer than anyone, medical or nonmedical thought they ever would.

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 1:12 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,

Consider this only a little hiccup. Yea, you need to get your "affairs in order". Let's see, plan a party, travel to Hawaii, and order all the philly cheese steaks that you want. You're not going anywhere anytime soon kiddo.....

Lisa Majors
South Carolina

Sent by Lisa Majors | 1:21 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Wedding!

Sent by bettye | 1:37 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy...you are a writer, and from comments you've made from time to time, we know you've had many adventures as a journalist. Why don't you write about those adventures...I wonder what perspective you would bring to those memories, now that you are staring down into the loaded gun of cancer? Write your memoir. Deborah Cumming wrote a wonderful book "Recovering from Mortality...Essays from a Cancer Limbo Time" in her last two years of life, which I have kept at my bedside since my cancer diagnosis three years ago. In Natalie Goldberg's latest book, she quotes Confucius as saying "To have an old friend visit from far away--what a delight!"...you could visit your memories and tell the world the story of who you were, who you are, and what you remember. Imagine all the deadlines you would have on your calendar as you visit this old friend! (Still allowing time, of course, to post on our blog.)

Sent by Rebecca | 1:50 PM ET | 06-13-2008

you're going to think i'm nuts, but yesterday i was just thinking, "man, though. he got to read hp7!"

movies? when i saw ij4, there was a trailer for "hellboy 2" (according to my sister, "1" was entertaining.) .. :)

you could also create a 'goodreads' account and rate all of the books you've ever read. that would offer the advantage of being an *accomplishment*. but you'd end up with like a trillion 'friends', which could be cool or burdensome, depending.

Sent by mary | 2:05 PM ET | 06-13-2008

I am so sorry to hear about the cancer explosion. It was shocking to read. I have heard that after 6 months inoto a disease a new piece of bad news is just as shocking as the first piece of bad news. That feels true to me now. Just know that you are not alone. You a part of my daily life. You give me strength. You help me to keep going. Thank you.
A question, was all the pain and suffering from the treatments worth it to get the extra time? I always wonder.

Sent by Diane Buckley | 2:09 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Good Afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, You passed one goal, the last Harry Potter Book and that's great! Just keep on, keeping on! We all want you here, "Heaven Can Wait!" But if you want to set another goal, perhaps this information can help. I attended a seminar on Death and Dying while I was still active in nursing. One of our assignments was to write down what we would do if we knew this was the last day of our lives. One girl summed up the assignment in just one sentence. She wrote: I would do exactly what I wanted to do in the morning and pray for forgiveness in the afternoon! So go for it, Leroy!!

Laurie, I know these are bittersweet days for you. Being at Leroy's side is the highest honor but now it brings so much pain! Prayers of comfort for you both are always on my lips and in my heart! You have both given so much to all of us here in Cancer World.

To All, As we laugh and grieve together and share Leroy's journey we are all learning what it means to be really human. The bonds created here will last forever because they are in the hearts of each and every one of us! God Bless!!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 2:39 PM ET | 06-13-2008

hi leroy,
my mother was given a very difficult prognosis - 3 to 6 months, max. she set goals: seeing a new grandchild reach her first birthday and then walk for the first time; seeing another new set of grandchildren - this time twins - born. she not only lived long enough to see them born, she attended their first birthday party (she flew 3,000 miles to get there.) this tiny 78-year-old woman, an immigrant who came to the u.s. with nothing more than her dreams, powered through life like the energizer bunny (her oncologist's nickname for her). there will always be those who, through sheer will, defy the odds. i think you'll be one of those. best of luck.

Sent by Julie | 2:53 PM ET | 06-13-2008

President Obama's inauguration!

Sent by keri | 3:05 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy and Laurie -I was stunned when I read your post this week about the cancer exploding, to say that I am sorry seems so inadequate.I have your podcast heading on my iPod and the one that keeps down loading even though I have listened to it at least a million times is the one with the line of "something was different because I was here." Many lives were different for the better because you are here Leroy, know that for a fact! Keep the faith!

Sent by janet | 3:43 PM ET | 06-13-2008

I hope that your willpower to be here with us on this blog each day will remain steadfast and this project that you started has not yet come to an end. I hope that this is the force in your life that keeps you here with us! You have not yet helped everyone who needs to hear your voice! There are countless others who need your "front porch" wisdom, laugh at your humor, see that the goodness in life is truly doing for others because they can't, cherish the eloquence of your writings, listen as you impart each of life's lessons as you see them...never forget that you are our muse! Without you, the little light of HOPE will grow dim, flicker for a moment and cease to cast its shadow to push away the darkness for another day.

No calendars, no red marks....continue to be with us until you decide that you are tired, your work here is done and that it is ok to go to the light.

Prayers and blessings as always to you and Laurie.

Sent by Al Cato | 4:21 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,

I too believe that willpower plays an important role in expiration dates. I hope you pick a goal that is far, far out. And, that you make it. I will be praying for you

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 4:31 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy,
Cancer has recently become a big part of my life as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I thought I would pass along this information about a group associated with the University of Texas called Consultative Proteomics. Basically, they analyze stubborn tumors and try to reccommend a course of personalized treatment options based on what they find. I'm not sure if you have tried anything like this so I thought I'd throw it your way.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Sent by Erika | 4:35 PM ET | 06-13-2008

commenting again.

dude, hilary platt nailed it.

you've GOT to vote with the rest of us in november!!!

Sent by mary | 4:42 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy,
My husband has spent most of his confinement reading and watching the political race. He said many months ago that he'll never get a chance to vote this coming November which very sadly is true. But, I just heard the news that Tim Russert of NBC News died of a heart attack today at work. Who would have ever thought that he wouldn't be around for the election! I heard that he had just moved his eighty-something year old father to a new facility. Now Tim will be the one not here on Father's Day. If anyone had a day to look forward to (Election Day), it was Tim Russert.

Sent by Elaine | 4:49 PM ET | 06-13-2008

I havent read this in a while - I had more surgery - I decided to find out how my hero was doing and I am speechless. I am not eloquent with words but you need to know how much your words have meant to me and continue to mean to me. You raised me up when I was at my lowest point. You continue to raise me up. So when this cancer thing is finally cured that is my end point. You mean so much to so many - your words are so important. You give us all something to look forward to. My hero - my inpiration peace and love
Jolyn

Sent by Jolyn | 4:49 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy, I want to live until my youngest marries a wonderful man. However, she's 19 and there's no man in sight so that requires alot of time! If I'm really greedy, I'd like to be here when she has her first baby. I know I won't last that long, but a girl can dream. Salee

Sent by salee | 5:08 PM ET | 06-13-2008

My first was the last Sopranos episode. My next was who would be the next American Idol. Really didn't think I'd make it because things were looking pretty grim...then I got on a new chemo and it worked wonders. No it is my son completing his summer internship so he doesn't have to leave in the middle because of a dying mother.

Sent by Freddie Odlum | 5:12 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy I was thinking you need to vote in November and see the outcome. You need to watch this historic inauguration. You need to be around for the first State of the Union speech.

And now Tim Russert has died with no warning. Life comes at you fast. We will miss him terribly.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 6:27 PM ET | 06-13-2008

My Cancer...the Book, Leroy! I am so sorry you got cancer. I am so grateful you share the truth of your experience in your blog. You are a friend and a guide on my own cancer journey. Always remember, no matter what, YOU get the last word.

peace,
pat

Sent by patricia benson | 6:44 PM ET | 06-13-2008

My heart goes out to Tim Russert's friends and family.

We sit here in Cancer World and deal with the pain of knowing the end is coming. I really don't think I would trade places with Tim.

No matter how the loss comes about, it is always a shock and the pain and grief can not be escaped.

I hope some of us here in Cancer World who have benefitted from the gift of time can reach out to Tim's family and help them through these very tough times.

Sent by Karen D. | 7:00 PM ET | 06-13-2008

OK, count me as a reason to live. If, or when, your lucid and intelligent and eloquent voice is silenced, I will be the poorer for it -- less reflective, less mindful, less engaged, just...less. As a model of strength, you give so much. So please, if you can manage, live. And if that becomes too difficult or painful or burdensome or just impossible, know that you have made a difference.

Sent by Victoria Ferreira | 7:01 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Hands down, my goal has been set for the final Harry Potter movie. Half Blood Prince is out this November, Deathly Hallows is set for November 2010. Now I hear "The Hobbit" will be coming out in 2011.... Oh all right, I guess I'll have to live. Kathy

Sent by Kathy | 7:47 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, I am another first time poster today. I've been following your blog religiously since I first found it 18 months ago. I've passed along so many of your posts to a dear friend with lung cancer. Terri was placed in hospice last September. We thought she wouldn't make Thanksgiving, but she ate her turkey and then her Christmas pudding, spent a week at Disney in March with her young daughters (in the parks every day but one!), celebrated her 50th birthday in April, and had another Mother's day with family in May. At her viewing two weeks ago, we marveled at all the memories she was able to make in her "dying days." Will power is a wonderful thing.
Be strong. And thanks for everything you do.

Sent by Linda | 8:04 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,

I've been thinking about Tim Russert - and his family - all day. I've never met him, but I feel like I knew him a little, the same way I feel about you and Laurie. I'm sure you did know Tim Russert so - I'm sorry.

Here's the last lines of a poem that I love:

how fortunate are you and i, whose home is timelessness: we who have wandered
down from fragrant mountains of eternal now

to frolic in such mysteries of birth
and death a day (or maybe even less)

"stand with your lover on the ending earth" -- e.e. cummings

Sent by Janice J. , Los Angeles | 8:22 PM ET | 06-13-2008

How about planning to stick around until the Buffalo Bills win a Superbowl? That'll give you a couple more decades, for sure! ;D

Sent by Mary | 8:36 PM ET | 06-13-2008

the last harry potter - that made me smile! that's awesome.
i think you're right about this... pick something big. something that won't happen for a long time yet ;)

Sent by someone in canada | 8:37 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,

Love, love, love Harry Potter. I second the motion to have J.K. Rowling write a new one just for you. Thanks for making me smile today. Sending much love.

Sent by barbara j | 8:38 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy, if you would like something practical to aim for, read 'The Singularity Is Near' by Ray Kurzweil along with the June 16th issue of Forbes Magazine. The Forbes coverage of t cell research is enlightening, and would make for a lively discussion with your medical team. Also, the bulk of the Kurzweil work, while it might not be practical in a 'timing' sense, will add to that discussion. Digesting the Kurzweil tome fully will take at least six months. It would also make for good discussion in this space after you have talked with the medical gurus.

Wishing the best for you, as well as offering intercessory prayer...

Sent by Don Green | 8:43 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Leroy...how about the election..dont you want to see how that turns out..better still...where this country is in the next 4- 8 years??

But from the words Laurie shared..it would seem to me you would need nothing more than to spend another day with her and she with you.

I wish you hope and peace.

Sent by Terry | 9:33 PM ET | 06-13-2008

Sometimes I become so absorbed in all the postings, that I have to go back and see what you, Leroy, have originally written! What flashes in my mind is the Joe Walsh (I think) song "You Can Keep Your Hat On" with the words "you give me reason to live, you give me reason to live." I just love those words!

Sent by N. Holmes | 10:31 PM ET | 06-13-2008

You've had a lot of excerpts in many books (everyone go to Amazon & put Leroy's name in search). Now take the time to write your own book, not about cancer but your amazing life.

Sent by B.A. | 11:39 PM ET | 06-13-2008

I know what you mean!

For me, it was the Mars Polar Lander. I was going through a rough time, the return of my leukemia, and I found the Polar Lander website. I followed the launch, the 'cruise' and the landing. I was hoping to see at least the Lander land. I even drove two hours to the Bay Area to see a live NASA feed.

Now, it is the Mars Science Laboratory. I still follow the Polar Lander and am invested in it. Once that mission is complete, then the 2009 launch of the Science Lab will be my next goal.

Like you, I'd like to see Mars landing number 100!

Sent by Scott S. | 12:32 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Leroy you and Laurie are facing what we all are facing, but you are at a moment where you can't look in any other direction... no distractions possible... but then in fact day to day those distractions do crop up. Tim Russert's sudden death today shocked us all but is the lesson at the other end of the spectrum... too much preparation vs. not enough. The fact is you've loved and have been loved... you have touched many people... mostly those who know you and visit you... but even the rest of us who know you from afar, but intimately... in my book that is living life to the fullest. Your blog is one of the most humanistic things you have done... I don't doubt your personal relationships are a magnified version.

Sent by joan | 1:18 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Have a party! Invite all your friends and family and anyone you haven't seen in awhile. Eat your favorite food, drink your favorite adult beverage and just enjoy the love, laughter and peace those who love you can bring.
I did this for my Jim when he received the same news you received. He had so much fun and just forgot why I was doing this. You remind me of him so much, in looks and in humor. You are just if not more courageous as he was. You will find that peace that surpasses all understanding.

Sent by Helen Drab Stigant (got remarried two weeks ago) | 3:58 AM ET | 06-14-2008

dear Leroy and Laurie-
This father's day weekend please know that you are in so many ways a surrogate "Dad" for all of us on this journaey. Providing the fair and reasoned -yet powerlly honset
role model for all that follow. We need you and there is still so much work for you to do through this medium. Happy Father's Day!
Robbie and Randy

Sent by Randy Cripe | 4:31 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Years ago, my grandmother had a bad stroke and heart attack and ended up in a nursing home when I was a college student studying overseas. Although apparently not very aware or conscious of visits from people, she stayed alive for three months until I came home, appeared to be getting better during the month I visited and, after I went back to college in the fall, and had another major heart attack died a couple of weeks later. I was her favorite grandchild and I know she basiclly stayed alive to see me again.

Your post made me remember that and touched me. Who is it you haven't seen for a while that you want to be sure to see again? Tell them to take their own sweet time coming to visit!

Sent by N.R. | 6:54 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Leroy
God bless you on your continuing journey. Your ability to share your words are an inspiration to us all.

By the way, there will be an AWESOME movie called Public Enemies that should premiere about July 2009!!! Parts of it are being shot in Chicago and WI (near where I live) RIGHT NOW. Johnny Depp is playing Dillinger and Christian Bale plays Melvin Pervis. The story revolves around the'33-'34 wave of bank robberies and the beginning of the FBI. Bryan Burroughs wrote the book on which it is based and the book has much more and is a great read. Burroughs weaves the time lines together for many groups of criminals and has the story of Hoover and the FBI's beginnings (which were filled with failures). Read the book if you like history and a good story, it will prepare you for the movie.

Hugs, kisses and love to you on your brave and long journey.

Sent by Pam Thompson | 7:37 AM ET | 06-14-2008

My oldest daughter graduated from high school recently. As I watched her march into the auditorium, I thought that this might be the last big event of her life that I get to witness. You have inspired me to look beyond, to set a goal to be at the younger children's high school graduation, and of course college graduations, weddings, etc. Thank you for that!

Sent by Margaret | 8:11 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Please hang on there, you'll be ok. You're brave.

Good wishes sent from China.

Sent by Sunny. Queen | 10:01 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Leroy, I just wanted to say that you are now facing the thing that all of us dread. I am not sure how I will handle it when the time comes because I know it will be the beast. I just did my scans & I at least get another 3 months reprieve from chemo. (I have lung cancer-going on 5 years & have had chemo most of that time). Laurie, I will keep both of you in my prayers because I can only imagine what you are going thru. It might even be rougher that those of us with cancer. Leroy, Hang Tough & keep those blogs coming.

Sent by Fay - Galena Park | 10:23 AM ET | 06-14-2008

Reading your post made me thing again about the way I live and often i wish I could like in the moment the way my dogs do. Nothing in the past or future would matter. Of course i would be obsessed with food. I wish you all the best this weekend. Cancer sucks.

Sent by Karl Merchant | 1:10 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Leroy,
I thing Judy V has the answer....live long enough for a cure!!!!!
Liz L....I am ready!Lets go, we will pick up some wine on the way!!!!!

Sent by liz Zimmerman | 2:14 PM ET | 06-14-2008

I wholeheartedly agree that the will to live to see or reach milestones is powerful. However, we have to be careful in how much emphasis we place on it. It could be easy to slide down the slippery slope of "If he/she just had more willpower, he/she could have lived longer." This is just as absurd as believing that if you fight hard enough you can beat the cancer down - or not have it show up for dinner in the first place.

On another note - I'm struck by our discussions of what we would/will do in our last days, if we have the choice. It has made me ponder the question - Do I want to be have knowledge of my impending death so I can make arrangements and tell my loved ones what I need to tell them? Or do I want to be taken quickly, without forewarning. (As if I actually have a choice.) I was thinking the quick choice was looking more appealing - however, with the recent death of boy scouts due to a tornado (one of my co-worker's nephews was critically injured with a skull fracture) and the sudden death of Tim Russert yesterday, I now think my pondering is rediculous.

I guess we just have to live our lives the best we can, in the present - enjoying and loving as much as we can every day...with no regrets. Cancer, heart attacks, tornadoes....we just never know!

Leroy, your blog helped me through the difficult death of our 24 year old neice. You are amazing and I am very grateful for all you do! Thank you!

Sent by Alice from Nebraska | 2:31 PM ET | 06-14-2008

I'm a passionate fan of Eleanor and Franklin Roosevelt. I'm staying alive until Blanche Wiesen Cook publishes her 3rd and final volume of the Eleanor Roosevelt biography. Oh, and, plus a few days, so I have time to read it, of course.

Sent by Melinda Thomas | 2:36 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Gosh, I am so sorry to hear your recent news. I think it goes without saying even those of us who have went through similar times ourselves are never ready to hear it again. Sitting here wondering what i could say....and nothing i type seems to make me feel its good enough for someone who gives so many so much. I will only say i believe you have honored yourself and all of us, your comrads in the fight. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for caring enough to share these difficult times with all of us.

Jayson Kingsolver

Sent by Jayson Kingsolver | 2:43 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Hang in there. You have to see who wins the presidential election. You have to see the changes that result.
They gave you 6 months when you were first diagnosed. You've beat that by a multiple of 5. When they give you the next life span 'guess', multiply it times 5. You are an inspiration to us. Now, inspire yourself. Find reasons to live and do it.

Sent by Kent F. Parks | 3:40 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
I am glad to hear a little spark in your last posting. I hope Ms. Rowling gets wind of it...I am sure it will make her smile.

Reading the stories of the "family" of posters and readers is so inspiring. So many amazing folks are fighting this disease and living far beyond their "expiration date." (Such a concept!)

For movies:
Try to see Young @ Heart. I am not sure if links work here, but the first link is the chorus's video of "Staying Alive."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omIrLgQO9O0

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/youngatheart/

Have a great weekend.

Sent by Robin Smith | 7:41 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
I am glad to hear a little spark in your last posting. I hope Ms. Rowling gets wind of it...I am sure it will make her smile.

Reading the stories of the "family" of posters and readers is so inspiring. So many amazing folks are fighting this disease and living far beyond their "expiration date." (Such a concept!)

For movies:
Try to see Young @ Heart. I am not sure if links work here, but the first link is the chorus's video of "Staying Alive."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omIrLgQO9O0

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/youngatheart/

Have a great weekend.

Sent by Robin Smith | 7:41 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Leroy:

Please stay until 2012 so we can see if the Mayan calendar was right; and if not, how far off it really was.

Burge told his doctor he needed to wait for Scott's 15th birthday. He did and was able to tell his son he loved him and Happy Birthday. He went into a coma the next day, and died three days later.

I thank Burge for the time he gave us to adjust to his passing (just a little anyway). Just sorry he was in so much pain. I definitely would want time to say goodbye if I had a choice. We worked through the anger together. I feel for those who are left to deal with that anger alone.
Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 8:54 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Stick around to see the end of American involvement in Iraq!

Sent by r weber | 9:43 PM ET | 06-14-2008

Hello this is my first time writing your blog I have been following your blog since last June 2007. I just want you to know that I am praying for you and this might sound silly but your strength has been an inspiration to me your bravery your fight and realism your humor. Thank you for the share and the time you have put in to this blog thank you for moving muscles in my brain and heart. Thank you for giving information and keeping us informed. I hope and wish you well.

Sent by Jay | 11:47 PM ET | 06-14-2008

I read your blog in the car yesterday on my way to check out a clinical trial. It was a long day and we did not return home until 11:00 last night. I had plenty of time to think about your posting. To me it is easy...the election, the election, the election. I want to vote, I want to celebrate and I want to see the inauguration. I've told my husband if I am close to death to get an absentee ballot and fill it out!!!

Regardless of how things look for me I am really thrilled with the three years I have had that I didn't expect. I'm still trying to look forward although I realize my time is growing shorter. I am planning to remodel my kitchen and would like to take another trip. One day, one decision at a time. Peace

Sent by Dona | 1:02 AM ET | 06-15-2008

for my dad, it was to make it through to that summer, to be able to nap on the front porch swing one more time. And the end of that year came, and we sat together outside the barn in the sun, and he said that his new goal was to see me graduate high school. He met his first goal, but not his second.
I graduated this month, and knowing that he wanted to be there, that it was important to him, meant so much to me.

Make your goals beautiful and meaningful, to you. The last harry potter book, good choice. Im a fan. My dad, to nap one more time on that squeaky chair in the sun at his parents house.

striving towards that goal wasn't just hoping for another lazy summer's nap, it was one more chance to experience the scent and feel of the farm, the place he grew up, his home.

I believe in you. Reading your blogs has been such an amazing experience in my life. Know that you have changes lives for the better. Know that the world is a better place for your existence.

thank you. I hope that you find what your goal will be. Im rooting for you, you'll make it.

Sent by Brooke | 2:59 AM ET | 06-15-2008

Leroy, Cynthia and have been following your situation but havent wanted to bother you or intrude. I guess the only thing I can say at this point is that we hope they can keep you as painfree as possible. You have been an inspiration to many people. I'm very glad I had the opportunity to get to know you through our work in Biloxi.
We will continue to pray for you.

Alan

Sent by Alan Magazine | 1:43 PM ET | 06-15-2008

I've been thinking over this one and I think you said it Leroy..."the world is still a mysterious place". Yes it's will power but activated by that not all together conscious buggaboo that life is such a mystery to me that if I just stick around another day I'll get to see what happens in the mystery that is this day. Through all my suffering that's what has kept me going on a daily basis. If I can stay in the day and make a decent attempt at what I need to do that day along with some of what I like doing I get to see what happens. By the end of the day I get to see what unfolds as part of that mystery. Kind of like crating a painting. I don't even want to admit on the bad days that I still have that half resentful/reluctant feeling that: "OK, OK, I'll keep plugging away because I'm still curious at the outcome today. That or something like it is what activiates my will power to keep going..to do what I do..finish that book, write that friend, get through work so I can make the time to practice my fiddling,etc... or even see Tiger Woods do the impossible. Often it is the simple, little personal things that keep me going because it is always the little things that are so satisfying for me and I find that very mysterious and hard to understand.
-with love from Graham in Sag Harbor...

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 3:53 PM ET | 06-15-2008

Leroy & Laurie,

I was off the grid for a week and just read your posts in reverse order.

I'm so sorry to hear about the turn of events. I can't even begin to understand what the two of you are going through.

It's our Relay for Life on Friday and I'll be walking for you again this year.

Stay strong, be brave. And know that we are all here for the two of you.

And a wedding doesn't sound bad to me. Or how about an early Halloween party? You can have a couple this year :)

Sent by Marie | 9:41 PM ET | 06-15-2008

Hi Leroy,

Just so you know, checking in on you via your blog is one of the things that keeps me going .... and I'm 47 .... so how is that for motivation? :-) My goal is to just keep going...and going... get the picture?? (there are days when it is really difficult to keep going.)

The second thing I always check on via the internet is the following website/blog: www.bedlamfarm.com and I click on the link that says "Farm Journal" -- the website is by Jon Katz, the guy who writes about his life with his dogs (2 border collies and a labrador retriever), his farm, and the other animals that share the farm with him, as well as people in his life. It's a great website .... with all the components of a good book: drama, action, love, a developing (& amazing) relationship between a young labrador and a wethered ram .... if you get a chance, check it out. Maybe that's something to set your sights on (kind of like you did with the Harry Potter series).

Well, I've sent prayers and light your way throughout the weekend. Looking forward to hearing from you today.

Love & Heartlight,

Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 6:57 AM ET | 06-16-2008

I swear, if I don't live long enough to see the end of Lost...

Sent by Tracy | 3:48 PM ET | 06-16-2008

Kind of back to yourself, Leroy. Glad to see you.

Happy Birthday!! Have fun with it.

Kathy b.

Sent by Kathy B. | 4:31 PM ET | 06-16-2008

Dear Leroy,
Not as good as the books, but there are 3 Harry Potter films left! The Half-Blood Prince opens in November so you need to be around for that, and the last book will be split into 2 films!

I'm Stage IV, just passed my 2 year anniversary of diagnosis, and am trying to make it to my 10-year wedding anniversary in March 2009.

Imagine cheerleaders doing the chant, "L-E-R-O-Y! Fight Fight Fight!"

And imagine hundreds of magic wands blasting your tumors to shreds. Visualize!

I'm pulling for you!

Sent by Jasmin Cramer | 10:59 PM ET | 06-20-2008

Hello:

I don't know you (but I know you). Thanks for taking my self pity away.

Sent by Carol Young | 11:45 PM ET | 08-01-2008