Having a treat that you know is "wrong" to have, is a great feeling isn't it?? It is like being 5 years old and getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar. I am all for that.
Having to get rid of your jeep is hard, as it is a reminder of losing the life you once had. Trying to be positive..trying...you don't have to pay gas for that thing anymore. :-)
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:29 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
Your travels have taken you both so far and to so many places and your journey is far from over. It is sad to hear you had to give up your jeep, but remember, it is just a "thing".
After being a life giver, I am having to give up so much as well. I have to start over. I have to buy the home that was supposed to be mine. I have to worry about my finances again. I am not able to help my children financially anymore. So many changes for me because of cancer. I have had to learn all about greed and what it does to people and it is so sad. I try to not be bitter or angry. I try not to have any regrets. I could have stayed in KS where my life was comfortable and secure and not come here to help the love of my life, but then I would have made the wrong choice. I am capable of starting over, I just never thought I would have to do that again. so I am learning to live for today, not worry about tomorrow, because that is just another day!
Stay strong, know you are blessed because you have each other. Enjoy today first, tomorrow is another day.
Until then, enjoy those little things that bring you joy!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:30 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy- Some of my best memories at the end of my mother-in-law's life are about food. When Charlene's cancer had become very advanced and she was in home hospice, her appetit was still good. She enjoyed going out to one of her favorite coffee shops, Caribou Coffee, for an iced latte and a sweet snack. I'd drive, and we'd laugh about the fact that she no longer needed to watch her calories. I gained weight during this interval, and it is a sweet memory.

Sent by Barbara Goun | 7:50 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy,

Sweets are medicinal, didn't you know that???? Enjoy all you want to. Giving up driving is a hard thing at any age, the message that shouts out is so very loud.

Do you have a favorite brand or flavor of ice cream. Recently we had a major treat, grilled peaches with Breyer's Peach Ice Cream. Absolutely scrumptious. :)

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:03 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy,
Things are pretty much the same here. My husband gave me his car keys a month ago when he realized that he could no longer drive because of his neuropathy. He tends to fall now without the use of a walker. The doctor said that the neuropathy was a side effect from the chemo but it seems to be getting worse. Yes, there are so many signs of how the cancer continues to change ones life. Treat yourself to all the ice cream and cookies if it makes you feel better.

Prayers to you, Laurie and our blog family.

Sent by sasha | 8:12 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Oh Leroy! I know how tough these moments are. I remember going through them my pops as he sold off his vehicles and parted with things that were so tough! It's hard, I know (partially), b/c I can never and will never fully understand it, but I know enough that it hurts and it SUCKS to have to get rid of part of you as time continues to pass.

BUT...keep eating all the sweets you want! Who cares! Enjoy your sec, minutes and hours, doing whatever it is that makes you feel happier. And if that means eating icecream...THAN BY GOLLY GO AHEAD!

xoxo
-Cristina Barthel, Tampa, Florida

Sent by Cristina Barthel in Tampa, FL | 8:20 AM ET | 07-31-2008

this is the time for something you are not supposed to have. this is the time for doing what YOU WANT TO DO as opposed to do what you SHOULD DO - of course, what you CAN DO sticks its ugly head in there. know that we love you and pray for you. and hospice is there with just one phone call. they are wonderful for both of you.
jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 8:24 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy, you treat yourself all you want.

I am sure you will miss your Jeep. I can just visually see you out there revving the engine.

Leroy, you and Laurie try to have a good day. I will keep you both in my thought and prayers.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:26 AM ET | 07-31-2008

when i was having daily radiation for 7 weeks, tuesdays was donut therapy day, and i would bring in donuts for all of us to share. You are right, some days we need to reward ourselves with things that 'are not good for us' because they bring us some joy......and i believe that you treat yourself whenever you can....it keeps us going.....peace, georgie

Sent by georgie | 8:30 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,

I agree about the sweet and tasty treats. They really do give a sense of comfort. We had fresh picked blueberries in a warm pie with vanilla ice cream the other day. It was so good.

I am sorry about your Jeep. Here's hoping the next owner will enjoy revving the engine as well.

Sent by barbara j | 8:31 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Try Ben and Jerry's Creme Brulee ice cream!! YUM!!

The Jeep isn't a laughing matter I know.. But do like I tell my Alzheimer's patients to do.. Pretend it is in the shop getting striped!!

HUGS FROG

Sent by Patsy Elmore | 8:34 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,

So sorry about the jeep. My biggest regret after being diagnosed with breast cancer was that I never had a car I really enjoyed. So last month, I left a dealership in a brand new Audi TT convertible. What a fun car! My parents came to visit yesterday and my mother commented that she'd never ridden in a convertible and wasn't going to start now - too dangerous! After several scrapes with death, open heart surgery, cancer, almost dying of a nose bleed (how embarrassing would that be!), I know that you better grab life and shake it hard.

Maybe I'll get her in it yet.

Sent by Marcia | 8:42 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy, your post today was bittersweet, I know the ice cream can't take the place of your jeep. And Laurie's donuts don't magically take the pain or stress away, but they're sure nice to have. My heart is with you these days. love to all from Sherri in Texas, BC stage 2 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 8:45 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, I'll grieve with you on the loss of your jeep. It's funny how our vehicles can almost become a member of the family. I had an old grey chevy that I drove for many years. Even after it got wacked in the front end and we used NASCAR repair techniques to keep it on the road, Duct Tape to cover some of the damage! But finally the car died and I cried when it was taken away.

But now Leroy, use some of the money you received for the Jeep to plunge into a big bowl of that Cookies and Cream ice cream!

Laurie, I didn't read the blog until late yesterday, Chemo day. But I also say to go for it with the donuts! I'm sending you a huge cyber-donut to share with Leroy. And don't worry, I have taken all the calories out! I hope you both have a happy and pain free day today. And let that Cancer know that you are not going to be pushed around! We are all pushing it back with you!

To All, As we roll up our sleves to help Leroy, Laurie and Everyone push against the Beast, we know that we are all in this together. And we have the power of over 30,000 strong. We will win! God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 8:54 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy - take the money from the jeep and buy cookies and cream!!!! Lots of them - and donuts for Laurie too.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 8:58 AM ET | 07-31-2008

I feel for you on that Jeep, Leroy. My first new "car" was a 1976 Jeep CJ-7 that I practically ran into the ground. Drove it for almost 20 years! I hope the ice cream was delicious. Hugs and prayers.

Sent by Donna G. | 9:24 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Do you remember "ice milk"? What a huge mistake that was. All hail real ice cream! Some things aren't worth doing halfway (or with skim milk for that matter).

For today's menu sir, may I suggest:

BREAKFAST: Georgia Peach Gelato with Maine blueberry compote and Vermont whipped cream, served in a hollowed frozen Florida grapefruit.

LUNCH: Purple Cow (black raspberry with dark chocolate chunks) served in a waffle bowl topped with chocolate jimmies (those are sprinkles, for the non-New Englanders).

SNACKS: (available at all times) Mini chocolate/espresso bon-bons, rolled in crushed Heath bar or toasted coconut.

DINNER: Split Banana Boat with five scoops, chocolate marshmallow, coconut macadamia nut, chunky strawberry, almond joy cream, and vanilla bean. Topped with caramel, chopped walnuts and a healthy dollop with the above mentioned whipped cream.

DESSERT: Frozen Cookies & Cream Pie made with a chocolate cookie crust and covered on Lindt Chocolate ganache.

This menu is available any time, just say the word.
I need to go loosen my pants.
Frosty love,
Debra Altschiller
P.S. No wonder I gained weight through all of this.....

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 9:25 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Dove Dark Chocolate Bar for me. Talk about a treat!!!!!

Sent by Betty O'Connor | 9:36 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Ice cream became our "date" time for my husband and I when our son was in treatment. We looked forward to the hour of quiet time together to enjoy the ice cream. Oh it does sound silly but it meant the world to us. We must have tried tons of flavors.

Funny how the littlest things seem to connect us on this journey, right??
There is one out there called root beer float that we found and loved.

Enjoy

Sent by Melissa T | 9:36 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Leroy,
Sorry about having to get rid of your Jeep. It does matter to guys who invest so much time and effort in keeping it running. Our vehicles are almost a reflection of our lives in that all the care and attention we put forth. Our vehicles can be seen as the way we live our lives, and the love and attention we give to our loved ones. We try to keep them safe and clean, reliable, and efficient, and most important they are a reflection of what we picked out and are willing to live with, come hell or high water. The Jeep was a good choice Leroy.
I hope people can appreciate the choice you made of getting rid of the ole jalopy.

Have a good God glorifing day Leroy, And may the Lord richly bless you.

Sent by Donato S. | 9:48 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy & Laurie...how about root beer floats as well? The poem today on NPR's Writers Almanac made me think of the two of you. It's called "Eating Together" by Kim Addonizio from her book "What is this thing called Love". I cried, listening to it, for the two of you, and all of us, and isn't it wonderful, "this thing called love". Rebecca

Sent by Rebecca | 9:52 AM ET | 07-31-2008

OK, I read that line as "Something nasty" but nevermind.

You could always eat ice cream in the passenger seat. Talk about breaking rules!

Seriously, take care and best wishes in discarding those things you really don't need.

Sent by Dave Utrata | 9:56 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Hopefully you got the chance to rev the engine one last time before the Jeep left. I remember that dad always had to get rid of the cars when us kids were gone since we were so attached.

Is there a home-made ice cream shop near by? Now's the time to check out all the different flavors and with any luck the bakery will be next door to it :)

Seriously, thanks for continuing to share your journey with us.

Sent by Marie in Minneapolis | 9:57 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Have you tried Ben 'n Jerry's new "Cinammon Bun"...hard to find but it's the "cat's meow"...the jeep thing 'bout all one can say is you are lightening the load, lightening the load...Love -Graham from Sag Harbor

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 9:59 AM ET | 07-31-2008

My grandparents lived to be 99 and 97, and their last few years were spent in a retirement home where meals were prepared for them. But they were unhappy and losing weight because the meals were "good" for them in that they were low fat, low-cholesterol, etc. So, my Dad hired someone to come in and make them bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes, home fries - whatever they wanted for breakfast. They perked right up. And Dad told the retirement home people to leave them alone! They were ninety years old and could eat any darn thing they wanted, and if Grandpa wanted to sit on the porch and smoke cigars all day, that was just fine. And by the way Grandpa ate a bowl of ice cream every day for about 30 years. Enjoy!

Sent by Tina Oehser | 10:07 AM ET | 07-31-2008

May I suggest McConnells Peppermint Stick Ice Cream ... it's out of this world!

Enjoy this day!

Sent by Madeline | 10:11 AM ET | 07-31-2008

YES!! Eat dessert first...often...and with those dear to you!!!

Sent by Nichole | 10:13 AM ET | 07-31-2008

I heartily recommend Klondike ice cream sandwiches. I had a jones for those and treated myself to a box. I figure the calcium is good for me!

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 10:17 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy, it sounds like you are developing new ways to rev your engine, be it ice cream, normal hours with old friends, or just time with your Beloved and Beshert Laurie. Wishing you great joy and celebrating your growing flexibility in the face of changes. As the kids say, "You ROCK!!!"

Sent by Sarah | 10:20 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Hey Guy:

A long time ago, in a distant galaxy, I was a rock/mountain climber. In order to preserve my ability to serve as a mule to carry climbing equipment, all food I carried was dehydrated. . . except, I always carried oreo cookies, packed very carefully in the pack so that they wouldn't get crushed. We called them morale food.

One evening back in base camp, we were visited by a grizzly bear (yeah scary).
He quickly made a shambles of things as he tore through camp looking for that one thing that had drawn him there in the first place . . . oreo cookies.

I know that there is a life lesson in this, I just haven't figured out what it is yet! (Could be just that oreo cookies are a lot more fun to eat after destroying hundreds of dollars worth of property? He didn't really look like a rock star bear though . . . . )

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 10:21 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Standard Joy

My first standard, a Mitsubishi version of the original Honda civic, I bought used from a friend whose first career job came with a car allowance and a recommendation list of business appropriate car types. The drive home was my 1st experience driving a standard. I figured if a business major could do it... how hard could it be? I'm forever sorry for the urban road rage I caused that day.

Automatics rob us of a feel for driving. I miss my tricks of clutch and gear that kept driving an art and provided an opportunity for practicing skills. I miss going to the dealership and falling in love with the modestly equipped standard that no one else seemed to want.

In 2005, a sleeping automatic driver crossed into my lane and destroyed my truck. Unlike the other driver, I walk away uninjured. But a change in bathroom habits mentioned to my Doctor eventually found a tumor five years before I would have considered a colonoscopy. The dealership this time had no misfit standards to replace my truck.

In 2007, the cancer moved to my liver and our old five speed manual jeep became, by my standard, too expensive to maintain and too un-roadworthy should my wife have to drive it. Again, the jeep dealership wrongly told me that no one wants manuals anymore.

Tomorrow we leave for Framboise. My wife & I will cruise control 800+ miles downeast. The AWD will be tested on long abandon dirt roads to visit homesteads that are only there in my father's memories. We're going to visit one last time with my elderly relatives to remember all those times they make me laugh so hard that I cried.

Hold Fast & don't pop the clutch.

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 10:22 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,

I remember how tough it was selling Terry's Jeep last summer. Terry died in February and I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it so it sat in front of the house for months. It hadn't been driven since summer 06 because of the neuropathy and the blindness.

Laurie H, I know where you're at. I just finished moving out of my condo and back in to our house last night. I'm staying there until it sells, which may be a while in the current market. I won't have a handle on finances until I've been through 2 or 3 months of bill paying.

It's scary and stressful not knowing even remotely what's ahead.

Sent by Bruce | 10:25 AM ET | 07-31-2008

I watched the Randy Pausch Last Lecture Video this week, heartbreaking about for his young family, and he spoke about how little is being done about pancreatic cancer. We know little is done about other types of cancer too. Exactly what is being done about cancer?

I saw this link on the internet this morning: http://www.standup2cancer.org/

I wish more was being done about cancer so others would not know what you know Leroy, the punches in the gut that bring you down, including not driving and letting go of your jeep.

Love to you and Laurie. Have a treat or two.

Sent by irene | 10:27 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Leroy,
I am so sorry you had to give up your jeep. You are right cancer is so awful because there are so many things that are beyond and individual control. Iam glad that you have control over enjoying your ice cream.
Karen

Sent by Karen | 10:31 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Good Morning All,
Leroy, I myself drive a Jeep and I love it. I'm sorry you are getting rid of your's but I totally understand. But you can use that energy (shifting gears) to now enjoying a x-tra large bowl of ice cream and a big spoon. That is much more fun than shifting gears. And if you are lucky, Laurie will give you a doughnut to go with that....:) Love and Hugs to all.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:33 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Gelato, good gelato, is a real treat. But it never tastes as good as it did in Italy!

It must have been wrenching to sell the jeep - concrete evidence of how your life has changed dramatically.

Sent by Marcia | 10:34 AM ET | 07-31-2008

It's sad to have to say goodbye to a much-loved jeep. Cancer takes away and erodes our lives' routines. I think ice cream is a great comfort in these times and I'm going to try Graham's cinnamon bun flavour to commiserate.
Fondest love to you and our blog family.

Sent by Tina from Alton, IL | 10:41 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy & Laurie,
Your posts the last two days has had me in tears. I feel for all that you are going through, and how you both are having the comforts of food become a coping mechanism. I truly understand. I have chocolate days. A code word to my best friend that the day is overwhelmning and I need anything chocolate to take away the pain of what I am physically or emotionally going through. When we have the C world in our lives it takes so much. I am sorry you had to sell your jeep. Another sign on how cancer robs you of so much. But just to play the devil's advocate...you have sold the jeep, but having materials things do not really matter. You have time to enjoy each other more having treats and enjoying small moments of joy with each other. Forget the about the losing the jeep and relish that in this journey you have each other to comfort and love each other, something so wonderfully precious that some of us do not have.
So eats tons of donuts and ice cream and celebrate each moment, each minute that you can love and laugh together. You will always have the memory of the jeep, and toast the way it was to reve the engine and hang onto each other hands and enjoy still being able to look into each others eyes and know that the Cancer can take material things but will never take your love for each other...and by all means eat as much ice cream and donuts as you can.

Sent by Miriam | 10:43 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,

The end of life is about letting go and it happens little by little. Each loss has to be grieved until there isn't anything left. I'm trying to do some of my ballast dumping early, giving away stuff I don't really need anymore, but which is precious to me and part of my life. I'm hoping my lightened load will ease some of my stress later on. As for treats, I'm an ice cream person too.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:53 AM ET | 07-31-2008

I am sorry about the car! These symbols make the reality even harder. I know the jeep was probably an ideal car for a big guy.

The ice cream sounds great, continue to enjoy the indulgence.

I had lost 12 pounds on my clinical trial and decided not to continue. I am going to do something simple for the next month to see if it will "hold things" for awhile. I am doing Xeloda and Avastin. I have already gained 3 pounds back so things seem much more normal!

Sent by Dona | 11:02 AM ET | 07-31-2008

How loving and thoughtful you are, Leroy, to relinquish a cherished toy so that it will not entrap Laurie.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 11:07 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Pat's dad always ate his dessert first--he didn't want to run out of room.

Leroy, I hadn't thought about getting rid of the Jeep. Pat had a leased Explorer so he didn't have to let it go. I took it over eventually. I do remember how hard it was for him to give up driving though. He was the kind of guy who would drive the 15 hours out to Cape Cod by himself--he hated riding shot gun. It's amazing how a person can adapt though, isn't it.

Cheers to the ice cream!!

Sent by Kathy B. from Michigan | 11:10 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,
Yes, I know about the downsizing. We sold the truck 2 years ago. I told my husband (he is now 94 years old) we needed to do this in order to provide funds for our daughter in Florida, so that she could move back home to California. Having his daughter home was the incentive he needed to let his precious truck go. Now we are faced with selling his garden equipment. He knows, but because of his demential he doesn't really comprehend the situation. Changes are made just one step at a time. You enjoy your ice cream, cookies are my sin of choice.

Sent by Barb | 11:24 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Leroy,
I love ice cream. I like banana split ice cream over a banana (makes me think I am being healthy) with lots of Hershey syrup. Maybe I should get some whipped cream and cherries, too.
Enjoy all the ice cream you can get!!!
It is hard giving up a car. I recently took an AARP Senior Driver class. The book contained a questionnaire to help you know when to quit driving. I sure hate the thought of not driving but it is good to plan ahead.
As for Laurie, I love those donuts with custard filling and chocolate frosting, but I only allow myself to buy one at a time!
Wishing you both a good day!
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 11:26 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy,
I don't write often (a few times) but I just have to say how much I admire you for continuing this blog, even when you are in pain, even when it can't be -easy? Surely, not for a long time has it been easy. You are a courageous and generous man, and we all love you (and Laurie!) Keep writing - we'll keep reading and holding you in our prayers.

Sent by Radha | 11:27 AM ET | 07-31-2008

My husband and I have been downsizing..disposing of many of our things in preparation for moving to a smaller place that we can care for more easily now, and I understand the difficulty of letting go of a life-long accumulation of our family's "stuff". Some days it feels so right and some days it feels so sad, but we don't want our kids to have to deal with all of this. We do still have our jeep, however, and it will be especially treasured now. Every once in a while I'll give it an extra rev just for you, Leroy. And my vote is for B&J's New York Super Fudge Chunk.
Cyber hugs to you, Laurie, and the blog family.

Sent by Bonita, Seattle | 11:29 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Leroy, My hub has Rocky Road every night. It's replaced beef as "what's for dinner." If nothing else sounds applealing, ice cream always works. The favorite foods bring us routine and their own memory making. About the jeep, similar thing here when we sold the Ford Mustang. Those wheels sure did take us somewhere. Would you want to write about any of your travels in the jeep? I try to get the Mr. to write or at least tell me the story while I write. Haven't had much luck so far. You, however, are a writer! Well, it's up to you. I look forward to your blog every day. Tonight I'll have some ice cream in your honor although it won't be Rocky Road...I don't like the marshmallows. But here's to "comfort food" and the sweet treats of life as we've come to know it.

Sent by Sally in Spokane | 11:33 AM ET | 07-31-2008

I am sorry about your jeep, Leroy.

Sent by Jen | 11:34 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Have you ever tried Moose Tracks from Mayfield? Give that one a go!

Sent by Ally | 11:40 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Mmmmmm . . . Dove Dark Chocolate Covered Ice Cream Bars on a stick . . . my treatment "diet" during the Summer of '06. Delicious!

Sent by Marilyn | 11:46 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Funny how we get attached to inanimate objects, especially cars and other forms of transportation. We don't get attached, I don't think, to televisions or doorknobs or ovens.

I wonder why. Maybe because we 'share' the sights and we spend so much time together.

Sent by Scott S. | 11:54 AM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy:

I understand how our vehicles can become part of our personalities. I'm lucky as Burge's pickup will become part of the farm and not have to go anywhere. My mini-van is another story. It quit cold on our first trip after Burge left. It is the computer and they haven't seem to find the problem so I bought a new (used) Durango. My oldest put a new Flow-Master exhaust system on it so it sounds really "neat" (old person language) and turns lots of young men's heads...haha great for an old lady like me.

The mini-van, however, remains in the back drive way and when I'm really down, I go sit in it. In some small way, it still holds pieces my past life and is very comforting. There will come a time when I will either have to fix it and drive it, or fix and sell it even though it won't bring much (1998/130,000). Perhaps by that time, I can let go.

Lauri Hirth: I feel for you having to start over. There were times in our lives we could switch from identity to identity, but the older we get, the harder it is. Kansas will take you back any time...if not where you were, in the SW. I guess this is where pre-planning should have come in, but I never thought about old age without Burge. There is still so much time left to live and hopefully it works out OK.

As for ice cream, Baskin Robbins' Mint Chocolate Chip wins hands down here.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 12:01 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy- I never could drive a stick shift! But I just saw Katie Couric on tv and her group has started an attack against cancer. Its called StandUp2 Cancer.org Alot of celebrities are involved trying to get funding for research. Might check it out.

Sent by Dee | 12:23 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy, Just keeping weight on is the goal. It seems no matter what I eat, or how much, I still lose weight. Yes, a stick is much fun, but I couldn't drive it either. My last attempt at a stiack, about 6 months ago in a friends Brand New Corvette. I rallied for that one, man it is one fast car, and a convertible too. I wish you the best for today, say Hi to Laurie. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:26 PM ET | 07-31-2008

ICE CREAM GO FOR IT! I CAN REMEMBER WHEN ASHTON SPEND ONE ENTIRE DAY WRITING DOWN WHAT SHE WANTED TO EAT AND WHAT I COULD PICK UP. I CALLED EVERYDAY, AND I GOT WHAT SHE WANTED. AT FIRST SHE COULD NOT STAND ANYTHING THAT WAS GREASY SO IT HAD TO BE GRILLED; ALTHOUGHT SHE STILL LIKED FRENCH FRIES. BUT IT WASN'T LONG UNTIL I HAD A HARD TIME GETTING HER TO EAT ANYTHING. SO EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT AS LONG AS YOU WANT IT AND AS LONG AS IT WILL STAY WITH YOU. ENJOY ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU CAN. MAKE A VIDEO OF YOUR JEEP AND THE SOUND AND PLAY WHEN YOU WANT TO DREAM OF DRIVING IT. IT'S YOUR DREAM. MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE.

Sent by Mavis | 12:36 PM ET | 07-31-2008

I love reading your blog! I really wish we had the internet like this in 1998 because it would have helped me cope better during my treatment. I'm going to link to your blog in my blog so that my friends can read it too.

Best,
Cam
badbloodcells.blogspot.com

Sent by Cambrey | 12:46 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy,

Saying good-bye to your Jeep resonates with me ... Even in my own good health, I cried like a baby a few years ago when we donated my 28 year old Toyota pick-up to the local fire department. Now our 20 year old 4Runner is preparing to leave us, and I'll be cryin' all over again. All those memories ... But that's good stuff.

Wishing you good stuff today (and ONLY good stuff); with comfort and love and some soothingly delicious tastes of ice cream, donuts or whatever (!) to you and Laurie, as well as all the good folks on this site ~

"When people have light in themselves, it will shine out from them. Then we get to know each other as we walk together in the darkness, without needing to pass our hands over each other's faces, or to intrude into each other's hearts." ~ Albert Schweitzer

Always,

Kim Forester

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:57 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroys courage to continue his blog means so much to me. It is a way of all of us getting a peak at what acceptance is all about

Sent by Martha Callalghan-Chaffee | 12:57 PM ET | 07-31-2008

It's difficult to eat a jeep. Enjoy your ice cream and doughnuts!

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 1:14 PM ET | 07-31-2008

When our family had to take dad's keys away because of his declining health, he gave us such a mean look. We forced him into acceptance and that hurt. The upside was that he saw more of his family who came to help with transportation. I think he liked that.
FYI: this week's breast biopsy came back benign. Wishing everyone a bit of good news today.

Sent by marge from texas | 1:21 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Leroy - Love the photo of you working on your blog with what looks like a T-shirt draped over a chair, "Cancer Sucks"!! I'm going to get one. I have (or had) appendix cancer which had spread to other parts/organs in my abdomen. Following two surgeries I began chemo treatments with 5FU, Oxilplatin and leucavorin (I don't think that's the correct spelling). I was to have twelve treatments, once every two weeks pending the results of blood work. On the ninth, I had an allergic reaction and that was the end of the chemo treatments. (What a tragedy!)
My last treatment was in June or July of 2006 and I still have neuropathy in my feet. It feels like there's some kind of leather padding glued to the bottom of my feet - they're numb. And yeah, it's annoying. I have other symptoms, too, but over time I've learned to live with them. What bothers me most of all, is that I used to feel I was "smarter than the average bear." But something changed with the chemo and now I know I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. I'm on disability, which has made life much easier. Hey Leroy, I'm eating this brownie in honor of you. Take Care.

Sent by Vicki L. Graham | 1:25 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy~ May I ask you to address how you are feeling these days? You are giving up driving and I can relate to that since we all must do that at one time or another. My stroke has done it to me - others, it will be old age and reflexes, etc. However as to your case, which we are all so wrapped up in, what is it that mostly bothers you now and is causing the most distress? The tumers in the head?, the spinal problems and pain?.
My cancers are returning in various forms - skin and muscles, at present but I am having tests at the hospital Tues to check out my Colon, etc, so we shall see where or whether it has decided to attack. Since there is nothing we can do to combat it, I am very interested, you might say, fascinated, by it's progress and affects. Enjoy your "comfort foods".

Sent by J C R | 1:56 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Maybe I missed a memo but I thought when you had Cancer, you got the privledge to relax on what you eat. Sometimes nothing tastes better than some delicious ice cream or a chocolate donut. Seems to be the least we can do to help deal with the daily tribulations of Cancer.

I'm sorry to hear about the Jeep. I'm sure it's not so much that you don't own it anymore but why you couldn't drive it anymore. But the reality of the situation makes it make sense. Doesn't make it easy though. Maybe you can spoil yourselves and rent an automatic convertible for a day so you can enjoy the wind in your hair.

Stay strong and remember we are all wishing you a fabulous day.

Sent by Alexis Redmond | 2:10 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Someone mentioned McConnell's peppermint stick. Add hot fudge to that for a bonus treat.
And, for a second scoop, Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.
Amazing how ice cream soothes . . ..

Sent by Roz | 2:26 PM ET | 07-31-2008

If you tell us the make and color of your Jeep, I bet board readers here will besiege you with miniature versions you can roll around on the table, making your own revving sounds. We replaced my husband's beloved Alfa GT that way when he chose a family friendly car instead, the better to ferry our daughter in ... vroom, vroom.

Sent by Robin Messing Bogdanoff | 2:34 PM ET | 07-31-2008

I hope you did not throw away the memories of the times in your jeep. That is all anyone has of their past. Now live in the present with ice cream. I would line up all the flavors and do a taste test to find your favorite! Have friends over and do a poll!

Sent by Thomas Escott | 3:14 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,
I understand about the Jeep. My husband has pretty much given up his truck and we use a mini-van due to comfort and a place for oxygen. The one thing I will never allow him to give up is his beloved Harley. He can now sit on it so a little more therapy and he may be able to ride it if we can figure out where to put an oxygen tank. Every cancer patient has to make so many concessions in their life, how can the pleasure of a favorite food or a good cigar be denied. I would hate to eat a bland healthy dinner and walk out in front of a truck!! Both of you enjoy whatever brings you comfort because it is the least we deserve.God bless us all.

Kathie

Sent by Kathie | 3:50 PM ET | 07-31-2008

When my husband was dying, his treat was a frosty. One day I had to get him four! I loved going out to buy each one and even to this day I think, four? thats crazy! But soooo delicious. Eat up and enjoy!

Sent by Erin | 3:56 PM ET | 07-31-2008

leroy, i just read that you're a drummer too! i love your blog and i think you're an inspiration to all no matter what we may be struggling with. love and god bless

Sent by Paulie | 4:25 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,
I should have guessed you were a Jeep guy. Makes sense.

Kathie, put a sissy bar on your husband's Harley and chain the oxygen tank to it. He will set a new standard for "hard core".

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 5:09 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Leroy and Laurie, I haven't written before but I read your blog almost every day. Over the last 3 years my husband has struggled with AML (acute leukemia), 2 stem cell transplants, and a recent relapse. I was just lamenting having spent the last 2 days tied up in hospitals with related medical procedures, but I realize that others are going through the same and worse. You and the many others who respond to this blog make me realize we're not alone. And everyone has their ways of coping. We're in the habit of eating ice cream together every evening, as often as possible- even if we can't agree on the flavors!

Sent by Kay Sullivan | 5:24 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Hi Ya Leroy. It has been a long time since I have written to ya. sorry. summer has been busy keeping up with my 6 yr old. So I'm still beating Brain cancer. Coming up on 3 yrs. woo hoo!!! Sorry to hear of the jeep. just think your helping the enviroment right? And one more thing. Ice cream is my favorite treat but I am not huge on different flavors. So I have decided to tell you of the best flavor EVER!! A bold statement yes, but, well just try it and see for yourself.

Chocolate Crackle By Breyers...enjoy

Much love to ya friend
Christine

Sent by Christine Van Hoose | 5:45 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Oh how I understand the Jeep. I'm holding on to my Motorcycle even though its likely I'll never get back on it. Now where is that tub of Movenpic (Switzerland's finest) Chocolate Ice Cream.

Sent by Ian | 6:18 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Sorry to hear about your Jeep, Leroy. I too have cancer and a Jeep that I love. It will be a major turning point for me if I get too sick to drive it. Aside from my family, it would be one of the things that I would miss the most. Enjoy your ice cream.

Sent by Suzy Johnson | 6:51 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy, I always pictured you as a Jeep guy. Must've been my imagining you trekking about in one Humvee or another on some of your wartime missions.

If anyone makes their way to Westford MA this summer or fall, I will treat you to the flavors of your choice at either/both of our local dairy farm ice cream stands - Kimball's Farm and Sully's. There is no such thing as a small serving at either of these destinations - even the kiddie cone can fill you up! My personal favorite is Grapenut, with White Pistachio a close second. The list of flavors outdoes the store brands by miles!

From B&J's - this week my husband and I are enjoying Pistachio, Pistachio, and Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler.

This may be heresy for a gal born and raised in Philly to admit, but I'll take fresh ice cream over a Philly cheese steak any day.

Sent by Sheara | 7:51 PM ET | 07-31-2008

I am so sad for the loss of your Jeep. I work now as a home health nurse and I see patients everyday who have gone from a home they owned to one room in an assisted living center-all that work to end up where you began, a room in somebody else's house.It is so sad to watch this stripping away of one's possessions but maybe if we had understood earlier that those items were not that important, we would have put our time and attention to better work. I am so sorry that this is your time to have to do this task. God bless.

Sent by Syndi | 8:18 PM ET | 07-31-2008

I'm thankfull you can still enjoy food --cancer has stolen that from many people. Enjoy.

Sent by Mary | 8:24 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
As I've read the last few weeks of entries, I've had to acknowlege that part of what is happening is a saying of goodbyes. The Jeep falls right smack in the middle of that sort of thing. I smile and laugh a bit at all of the posts about good flavors of ice cream but I have to admit that my heart is also aching for what you are going through--and the fact that you continue to share this journey with us.

I've said this before, but please know that we will always stand beside you and behind both of you!
Deep peace,

Betsey in Albany NY

Sent by betsey kuzia | 8:35 PM ET | 07-31-2008

During the last week of my mother's life in the hospital, she had been put on a low calorie menu by the dietician. I met with the lady and asked the obvious question: "Why?!" She couldn't give me a logical answer so immediately the scene changed --- we started bringing in milk shakes and whatever else my mom wanted, or felt like she could eat. At least that small enjoyment wasn't taken away from her.

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 8:46 PM ET | 07-31-2008

Leroy,

Reading your blog gives me a little bit of insight into what my mom might have been thinking about when she was dying of breast cancer at age 38. I was 10, and too young to understand the "enormity" of it all. Brings tears to my eyes. Thank you...

Sent by Julie H. | 1:32 AM ET | 08-01-2008

Leroy, through the late spirit of my Daddy I can relate to what you mean about having something you weren't suppose to have. At the retirement home my Daddy lived in, each and every Sunday evening they had creme of tomato soup and toasted cheese sandwiches. He so looked forward to both of these. These were two foods that his Doctor specifically told him he shouldn't eat. He said, "no-way, at his age and in his condition nobody was going to tell him what he couldn't eat. He so loved and looked forward to his Sunday evening meal. You go for it Leroy, have your ice creme, 'live for the moment'.

Sent by Robert Sheehan | 7:56 AM ET | 08-01-2008

I second the motion on the Movenpick Chocolate Ice Cream...finest in the world! And pretending the Jeep is in the shop is INSPIRED!!!! Praying daily for you all...especially L & L xoxox
Love and Chunky Monkey!

Sent by bethann | 6:02 PM ET | 08-01-2008

Leroy

I hope, like others, that this isn't your good-bye to us. If it is, then God speed on Your Journey. And just wait until we meet again, all of us laden with donuts, ice cream and canned icing!

We have all taught each other here, thanks to you. I've learned from those who came before, and I hope I've been able to be of benefit to those who followed me in my own journey. As mentioned before, I feel like I can stand on my own now. The future is frightening, but it can be managed "one bite at a time."

I will never, ever be the same, thanks to my experiences...and you, my dear friend.

Thank you so much, for everything...and thanks to our dear departed friends and loved ones, too many to name.

We remember with love.

Sent by Bruce | 8:15 PM ET | 08-01-2008

Cookies and cream milkshakes from chick fila are great you need to get one.

Sent by Hal | 4:14 PM ET | 08-04-2008