Leroy,
Now is the time to enjoy cookies, cakes, ICING, and any and all favorites.
AND enjoy your day. Totally.
AND the 4th of July....gotta love that one.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:34 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Cookies, cupcakes sounds mighty tasty to me, Leroy. All you have to have on hand is the milk. YUMMY! And occasional switch to fruit may be welcomed. (who really wants to eat healthy?)

In view of the roller coaster, rat wheel that typically accompanies the diagnosis and life associated with cancer, quiet is good.

Enjoy the break.

Hugs to all...

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:39 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Cookies and cupcakes - Yummy!!! I wish my friends would bring those over here to me!!! Of course then I would eat them all and we know that could not be good for me . Enjoy the holiday weekend. I am having a few friends over tomorrow afternoon and then we will all go to the fireworks. I have not been to see them in a long time and my gkids insist I go this year. Happy 4th of July to all - enjoy the holiday weekend.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 7:46 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy and all, have a peaceful, quiet day today and enjoy your holiday weekend! I wish for you lots of laughter, good friends and sunshine (and a few more pounds)!
I am so excited, my son is coming for 4 days! I have not seen him since November, and the dogs and I are sooo excited!
I hope all of you have a cancer free weekend! Peace....

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:54 AM ET | 07-03-2008

I wish you a wonderful Independence Day, Leroy, and as well to all!

Sent by Leonard | 8:07 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy,

Have a wonderful, peaceful day. I'll be thinking of you.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 8:09 AM ET | 07-03-2008

I agree, those days when "nothing" happens are some of the best for my wife Kathy. She can actially feel "normal" ? for a little while instead of the new normal, which is great. When her friends come over the best gift they bring is themselves.

Sent by Terrell W in Bay City Tx | 8:16 AM ET | 07-03-2008

In this day and age, normal is one of those things we find difficult to appreciate. And yet it is what we strive to achieve. Will we know normal when we see it?

Sent by Helene Weingarten | 8:19 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Peace be with you and Laurie.

Happy 4th of July and God bless our troops all over the world as they fight for our freedom.

Take care Leroy.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:33 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Hope that you will have a wonderful, long weekend Leroy. Love and prayers are with you.

Sent by Jen | 8:39 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy, Great idea, we forget to take the quiet time. I hope your Body, mind and soul will have some great relaxing quiet time. My prayer for you today is that Laurie can join you.
Be well today, both of you.

Sent by Paula Swink | 8:42 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Good Morning!

I find the BEST way to fill up the cake platter (the fancy one with a glass dome) is to say to visitors, "just bring yourself".
The day of a chemo treatment and for three days after I couldn't be near food, or see visitors. Then by day five I would eat like a starving pirate, and the visitors were happy to oblige because anyone who was raised right just KNOWS, (get ready you know what's coming), YOU DON"T SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED!! Ha! Ha! HA!

So I gained 20 lbs while on chemo.

Thanks to my Dad who brought lobster stew and hot Roast Beef sandwiches. Thanks to my Mom and her mini cup cakes. Thanks to my friends who always insisted they had "made a double batch and are also eating gooey lasagna tonight". Thanks to my Mother-in-Law who made her world famous pie because "the kids like it" and Beef Stroganoff. Thanks to my husband who would indulge my post chemo craving for toasted bagels with melted cheese.

(Wait, I have to unbutton the top button on my pants...aahh, better)

Ummm, Leroy, are there any cupcakes left?

Love to you & Laurie,
Debra

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 8:45 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Dear Leroy,

You are, and continue to be, a positive influence to others who struggle in many ways with life and its challenges. Your approach, your candor, your professionalism comes through in all of your blogs and work. I appreciate you sharing your experience. I appreciate NPR for supporting you and allowing you to have this format. Thank you so very much for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. May God bless you and your family as you continue down the road of life.
Chris in Richmond Virginia

Sent by chris | 8:48 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy, enjoy that quiet time. You and Laurie have a good 4th of July. We will visit with you again on Monday.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:50 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Sounds like a great day. :)

Sent by Nichole in FL | 8:51 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Hi Leroy - Your friends mean well with the cakes. If I were visiting you, I'd bring something too!

Everyone else: I would highly advise hearing Leroy's talk on Minn Public Radio from yesterday. It was really interesting/touching and very honest.

The portions about the blog were especially meaningful. I learned that we do help you too! I also agree with you - that so many people write so well here!

And finally - the pink elephant in the room - please be honest with us when the blog is getting too much. Even if you stop soon, we hope we can still get updates. We all genuinely care about you, worry about you and love you.

xxoo

Sent by Liz L. | 8:51 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Here's to Normal Days!! Happy 4th Leroy and Laurie!!
Love ya...

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:11 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Yesterday sounds like a pretty good days. This is the time I worry about. So far, other than my treatment days, I've been able to get to meetings and social events. Now when I can't it is obviously not a time for visitors. I hope I will be able to be gracious and enjoy people.

My husband has just loved it when people have brought things after my surgeries. I've never wanted to eat them but it really made it great for him. He often says, "your friends keep me well supplied" and he deserves those little treats.

Peace

Sent by Dona | 9:11 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Wow Leroy...cupcakes and cookies! cool. How wonderful for you to have a relatively normal day. I hope there are more of them but you, thankfully get to enjoy this one first...nothing matters but today. Enjoy, I will be thinking of you. Love, Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 9:24 AM ET | 07-03-2008

My friend Leroy
Wishing you lots of goodies and whatever you enjoy, more quiet moments,and as much cancer-free time in cancer worldas possible.
Happy 4th... hope you get to enjoy a BIG juicy cheeseburger with lettuce,tomato,red onion and all tghe fixings.
Peace be with you and Laurie

Sent by Pam | 9:31 AM ET | 07-03-2008

I'm getting hungry reading these posts!
Love to all...and enjoy the holiday weekend with family & friends.
We are blessed. Love you Leroy.

Sent by bethann | 9:35 AM ET | 07-03-2008

If my Dad was here, I'm sure he would recommend the "dessert and beer" diet. Basically, it's your favorite dessert (he was a huge fruit pie fan), washed down with your favorite brew. It's probably not a diet that was really helpful during his treatment, but it didn't seem to hurt him, either. So, enjoy your day and eat dessert first - with or without the Fosters (Dad's favorite)!

Sent by Joyce in FL | 9:44 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Debra I think you are pretty awesome.

Leroy I hope you have a wonderful sunny day, full of peaceful moments, delicious treats, and love.

Sent by Liz | 9:44 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Awwww, do enjoy the cookies and cupcakes. It's just their way of saying "I love you Leroy." And hopefully you'll have to wear your "big" clothes again.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 9:54 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy, The thought of all of those cookies and cupcakes makes me smile and think of the luscious cupcakes in a store near me. And, Debra, your post had me silently roaring with laughter. My husband and I are heading to western Mass. for the long weekend, where we have tix to see James Taylor and fireworks. Thanks to everyone here, I am prepped to hope he sings "The Secret of Life." Maybe, I'll bring cupcakes to the pre-or post concert festivities.

Maybe this weekend we should all raise a cupcake with a smile in a toast to honor Leroy and his work!

Sent by Sheara | 10:00 AM ET | 07-03-2008

One of the all-time best songs for July 4th is Van Morrison's "Almost Independence Day" (1972) It's about the fireworks over SF Bay. 10 minutes of pure joy! Though I can't figure out how to get the actual song on the Blog here are the lyrics.
http://www.twin-music.com/lyrics_file/van/st/al.html

Sent by Cathi | 10:02 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Clinical trial at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center. Leukocyte infusion therapy clinical trial. Check this out.

Sent by Kim Parris | 10:11 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy,
Enjoy your day!

Peace,

Karen

Sent by Karen | 10:13 AM ET | 07-03-2008

At the end of each day, instead of saying a "blessing" at the evening meal, I say aloud some of the events or people or things from that day that I feel grateful for. Sometimes, it's just "Nothing bad happened today!" and that is more than enough. I wish you an uneventful 4th of July with good friends, good food, and a good appetite.

Sent by Doris | 10:19 AM ET | 07-03-2008

I know - we get so used to crises and roller coaster rides that it's a little unnerving to have a quiet,uneventful day! I will miss all of you over the weekend and I will be thinking of you. Love you

Sent by Tina from Alton IL | 10:26 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Have a restful, colorful weekend, Leroy. Some potato salad and (steaks, burgers, brats?) Hope you see some beautiful fireworks, or just even enjoy lovely sparklers on the back lawn in the dark. You certainly deserve a break.

And we all need to remember those soldiers who have returned home with injuries, and are trying valiantly to recover their lives.

Sent by wendy | 10:27 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Good Morning Leroy, quiet time that is a GREAT IDEA!!
have one, two or three, as many as you can have, they are the best!!.
Have a peaceful 4th of July week end!
Peace be with you.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly Young | 10:29 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Dear Leroy,
I wish you a Happy July 4th, and may you enjoy it. Thoughts and prayers.
Donna G.

Sent by Donna Green | 10:36 AM ET | 07-03-2008

The day to day "life" stuff sounds just wonderful. Enjoy the fireworks!

Sent by Donna R. in NJ | 10:48 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Hey Leroy and Laurie,
Keep on eating! Today is my official birthday but I've been celebrating since Monday. I planned my own birthday cake; angel food covered with fresh strawberries and whipped cream (the real deal, not Cool Whip!) Had it 2 nights in a row, before the big day. Who knows how I'll celebrate later, but you know I will!

No one knows what our futures hold, but for the moment, I'll kick back and be grateful for everything I have, decent health (in spite of wicked arthritis in my hip) 2 cool kids and a patient spouse and more than I can even describe.

The best to all for this long weekend!

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 10:50 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Have a HAPPY 4th tomorrow! Enjoy the fireworks; light a sparkler and write your name in the air. And take a holiday from Cancer.
Take care, Deneen
http://kevspost.blogspot.com/

Sent by Deneen Taylor | 10:52 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Good morning Leroy and Happy 4th of July to you and Laurie. I hope you and Laurie do something special together this weekend. Grill out and fix your most favorite things...also enjoy lots of "junk food" like those cookies and cupcakes...maybe toss in a little watermelon. How about checking out some fireworks or watching a good movie? Whatever you choose to do I hope it is an enjoyable and painfree day. Hugs to you and Laurie and hope all of our "family" here on the site has a great 4th of July.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:59 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Speaking of the illusive moving target, did you find peace during the day. I hope so.

Sent by Kathy B | 11:00 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Good morning Leroy,
If I could, I'd go back in time tomorrow to the Hat Shell in Boston and listen to Arthur Fielder conduct the Boston Pops in the Stars and Stripes. For one who's quick to complain about the state of our "union", I still can't sing the national anthem without tearing up. Leroy, on this 4th of July, have a burger, a beer (if you can), and watch some fireworks. How much more American and normal can we get? Thinking of you and Laurie and sending positive thoughts.

Sent by Sharon | 11:13 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy,

Just listened to your radio interview on MPR. Great show! You expressed so many of the same thoughts and feelings I have had the past few years.

From one who is walking this path with you together, I hope the memories of Hawaiian sunrises and sunsets fill your days and evenings with peace as they do for me. We share the same age, the same love of life and family, the same illness and the same change of perspectives.

Have another normal day.

Deb

Sent by Debra Dorr | 11:39 AM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy,

It's interesting that you should post on the "normal" topic today. This morning, before I read your blog, I was driving to the hospital for my monthly Sandostatin injection (to control the symptoms of my pancreatic islet cell tumor) and was thinking about how today, I feel normal -- good night's sleep, no GI pain, etc. I was remembering how in a recent post, you had said that all we cancer patients really want is for everything to be normal. I tried to maintain this "normal" feeling while sitting in the waiting room and having the shot (one of those big needles in the rear), which basically involved immersing myself in a book. It was fairly successful, and now I'm at my desk.

Sometimes I am actively grateful to feel normal. Other times, I lament the fact that normal isn't my status quo (although I am sometimes able to maintain it for a couple of weeks before something or other pops up). Then I feel a little guilty for wishing normal could be forever given how far I've come in controlling my (slow-moving but incurable) disease. I have to remind myself to enjoy the moment, which usually works.

So...I'm glad you had a normal day yesterday!

Kristy (the one in the photo gallery holding the baby with the colorful lacquer painting of all the fish in the background)

Sent by Kristy Manning | 11:48 AM ET | 07-03-2008

There's nothing more cheerful than a plateful for cupcakes! You have wonderful friends, Leroy, that bring you nothing. Cupcakes have such a nurturing quality maybe because I remember making them with my mom (chocolate ones with boiled white frosting). I hope everyone enjoys a safe and peaceful July 4th. Maybe for a few moments we can stop thinking about cancer - I will try--hhm, maybe I'll bake some cupcakes. :)

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 12:00 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy, Quiet time, take all you need, you have earned it. Please sent cookies and cupcakes, soonest! Take Care, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:02 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Enjoy the cake! Clean the icing off the plate! Wishing you a peaceful and enjoyable 4th. Thinking of you daily.

Debra in New Hamsphire -- you crack me up. I too gained a lot of weight when my son (18 months old at the time) was on chemo. I ate all the left over that he didn't eat. Five years later, I am still trying to lose the weight :))

Sent by grace | 12:02 PM ET | 07-03-2008

It does seem strange when finally things settle down. Only then does a person realize they have nothing to think about, worry about or go to. And to take a deep relaxing breath, and enjoy the time. Have a good 4th of July weekend with your family.
Page - Gresham Oregon

Sent by Page Hendryx | 12:13 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Although I am not in your situation, I recently lost my mother, and watching the antics of birds and squirrels at my feeders allows me a few minutes blessed distraction, and brings a much-needed smile to my face.
Worrying about the female hummingbird who watches for a male (who apparently went off with another woman, the cad) keeps my mind off myself. And seeing other birds test the in-shell peanuts we put out for the bluejays is a fascination! The squirrels love the peanuts, too, and one will quickly lick the salt off the outside before stuffing the nut in its mouth and running off!
Over the years, I have known a number of people with health-related problems, who have taken great joy in a feeder some thoughtful individual placed outside a convenient window. I've no idea whether your situation would allow for this, but it's an idea. You are in my prayers, and I would love to see some joy, relief, and laughter come to your life. God bless you.

Sent by Frances Price | 12:55 PM ET | 07-03-2008

One of the hardest things for me to read (having just lost a close loved one to cancer very recently) is the cheery messages.....it's almost like they just don't get it. Like, "have a great long weekend and enjoy some quiet time." Well, a nice long weekend is not really what it used to be, is it? Everything's different. What was great and welcome before cancer is often either trivial or just plain unenjoyable now. We all know it's all well meaning, but do you ever have trouble taking all the well wishes from so many people?

Sent by Alexis | 1:29 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Dude! I wanna cupcake! Got any chocolate ones?

Peggy

Sent by Peggy Carey | 1:46 PM ET | 07-03-2008

I've been told by a doctor that sugar makes cancer cells multiply, have you or anyone else heart this? I'd love to eat some cake and cookies... :(

Sent by Linda | 2:01 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Good day Leroy,

This 4th of July, in your honor, I'm gonna eat desserts til I puke. God Bless America!

Sent by Randy | 2:18 PM ET | 07-03-2008

A good day when there is no news, no change. At least I think so.

Sent by Scott S. | 2:43 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Wow, there's another Kathy B. on this site. I better change mine--maybe Kathy B. from Michigan.

The last note I read was from Alexis. On one hand, Alexis, I'm sorry about your loss, but take a chill pill. There's nothing wrong with a heartfelt message. On the other hand, I see that a lot of people care about Leroy and want to drop him a caring note. When my husband was alive, he'd listen to Rush Limbaugh (I didn't care for it but Pat thought it was entertaining). There's a point to this--after so many people kept complimenting him, saying the same things, Mr. Limbaugh instituted a quick message at the beginning of a phone call -ditto- which meant all the complimentary things people wanted to say but wasted air time saying.

Maybe some one can come up with some clever way to sum up the good thoughts and wishes we all want to express.

In the meantime, Laurie and Leroy, have the best weekend you can have--whatever that entails.

The new Kathy B. from Michigan

Sent by Kathy B. from Michigan | 3:04 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Good!

Sent by Janice J., Los Angeles | 3:24 PM ET | 07-03-2008

cOOKIES AND CUPCAKES AND LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE AND AFFECTION - CAN YOU BEAT IT? TAKE THESE QUIET, NON-CRITICAL DAYS AND LOVE THEM. HOPE THAT YOU ARE READING OR WATCHING SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE MISSED. HAVE A GOOD FOURTH OF JULY AND MUCH LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU AND LAURIE.

JAN

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 4:44 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Actually, Leroy, it sounds as though a lot happened to you today!!

Visits from two friends..... bearing gifts, no less..... no crises..... lots of quiet time ..... and you are sensible enough that you just poked your head in to let us know how you were and got on with the business of enjoying your GREAT day!!

Personally, I think when we have days like these, days that we are able to look beyond where we usually are and enjoy as we used to, we should truly savor them!! It is the quiet, peaceful days that bring so much of the PEACE that we are all seeking. ENJOY!!! And have a great 4th weekend everyone!!

Sent by Betty Obst | 5:03 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Alexis, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my father to lung cancer on October 13, 1998. You may not believe it now, but it does get better and at some point in time, you'll stop bleeding grief. And, while you still might think all the changes suck and that life won't ever be the same, you won't mind it so much. It just takes time.

Sent by Joyce in FL | 5:26 PM ET | 07-03-2008

I'm glad you had "one of those days." I know well what you mean, and I am grateful for these days when I don't have to think about having cancer or be reminded of it. (Well, except for the inevitable reminders, like seeing the bandage covering my Hickman catheter every time I look in the mirror.)

My husband heard you on MPR yesterday. Like you, I have cancer (a stage four sarcoma) and blog about it. If you're interested, it's at http://www.lemmondrops.blogspot.com. I am always glad to hear from others in this boat.

By the way, I've had a pretty "normal" day today, too. A crew of guys came over and put up a fence in our back yard, and while I watched them and tried to keep our toddler out of their way, there were stretches of time when I actually *forgot* about having cancer. What a nice feeling.

Sent by Emilie Lemmons | 6:01 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy,

Hope you have fantastic 4th!!

I know treatment, the type of treatment or even no treatment is a very personal choice. I just would really like to see you take something that can fight the cancer.

I came across this article:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/113289.php

I've been on Xeloda before to help make radiation more effective. It is an oral chemo (a pill you take) and the side effects for me were, well, nothing. Some people get a side effect dubbed hand and foot syndrome but I believe this can be controlled or even the dosage lowered.

I hope you will keep options open and consider what tools are still available to you. Not every chemo kicks your butt.

Also, I would encourage you to look into clinical trials. They are startng clinical trials that go after the cancer stem cell. They are actually starting to quietly whisper the word "cure".

Clinical trials can be a good thing. You have access to new treatment years before the general public.

Whatever your choice, I respect it and hope cancer leaves you alone for a great long weekend.

Sent by Karen D. | 6:33 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Apologies to Alexis as I just wished you a nice long weekend, then read her post.

I completely understand Alexis point. At the same time, I cherish the moments where people treat you like everything was normal "have a good weekend". I also get annoyed when people do treat me like normal "what are your plans for next year?".

Cancer or not, "real life" just keeps going on. You still have to get the dishes done, decide what's for dinner, etc. Seems the world should stop but it doesn't.

And Alexis, as crazy as this seems, one day you will suddenly realize you are again enjoying a nice long weekend. It is no reflection on your loss or your feelings toward that.

"Normal" keeps creeping in when we least expect it.

Sent by Karen D. | 6:47 PM ET | 07-03-2008

I'm sorry, did you lose me?

I had a note that addressed Alexis, who, even though sad, needs to remember some manners. I understood what she was talking about, and mentioned that maybe some one could come up with a universal greeting to Leroy.

I don't think my message was untoward or rude. Please post it.

Kathy B. from Michigan

Sent by Kathy B. | 7:05 PM ET | 07-03-2008

For me it was my cousins brownies, or her husbands cherry pie - simply the best. Happy 4th Leroy - enjoy your quiet time & your goodies, but most of all your friends.

Sent by Beth | 7:12 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Dear Leroy and Laurie,
By accepting the homemade goodies, you are returning the gift. Cupcakes and cookies, yum. Best wishes for a happy holiday weekend.

Sent by Paulette | 7:58 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Good for you Leroy, you eat what you want, when you want. Cookies & cupcakes sound quite nourishing to me, full of good 'rich' vitimins.

Sent by Robert Sheehan | 7:58 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy, I wish you a happy weekend. Your writing means so much to me, Mary Ann

Sent by Mary Ann Gray | 8:00 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Leroy, I am aking permission to hijack your blog to respond to Alexis.

Alexis, you need to go back to the first blog and read through the whole 2+ years and maybe you will better understand the history that flows through this blog. The "army" has been here through the highs/lows and everything in-between...

Cookies, cupcakes, chocolate, cheese steaks...all ways folks have to say "I love you Leroy" Hopefully you are able to say thanks, enjoy the gifts and let the givers feel good that "they were able to do something".

Sent by lac | 9:39 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Normal is great. Happy July 4th--hope you and yours have a lovely, normal, time!

Sent by N.R. | 10:04 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Any day with Van Morrison lyrics is a good day! When I think of all the people helping each other, it produces a little joyful fireworks display in my mind!

Sent by N. Holmes | 10:54 PM ET | 07-03-2008

Let's see ... It's midnight-forty your time (9:40 my Pacific Time), and I'm just now getting around to wishing you and Laurie a lovely 4th ~ weekend ... May it be spent comfortably and happily with loved ones; good conversation; tasty tidbits and cool drinks.

Thinking of you with warmest wishes,

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:46 AM ET | 07-04-2008

hey leroy, just discovered your blog after doing a fairly self-indulgent search for my own cancer blog www.playingthecancercard.blogspot.com (you used the phrase in an earlier entry). apparently we're becoming increasingly numerous across the internet. i think it's a wonderful medium through which to communicate the various vicissitudes and absurdities of a life with cancer; a way of giving the people around us (who do, i imagine, struggle with the concept) an idea of how the process unfolds and affects. i'm deeply saddened to hear how things have been progressing for you lately, but your humour and resilience in the face of it all is deeply inspiring.

i'm a 23 year old male from australia receiving treatment for an inoperable sarcoma on the top of my right lung. inoperable isn't entirely right, but any surgery would require the amputation of my right arm, so it's a possibility i'm avoiding for the moment. i've been through chemo and radiotherapy, and seem to have responded very comprehensively to both treatment types, but now find myself facing up to a life of relative uncertainty, with a hopefully dormant tumour still lodged in my shoulder cavity. the paranoia fluctuates, and i'm still not entirely comfortable with the thought of my own mortality, but all we can do is try to move on as we were before, and rely on the old cliche - hoping for the best.

it's an odd twilight world we walk in, but one that can make you capitalise on the beauty inhering in the world around you.

my thoughts,

Sent by Luke Ryan | 2:10 AM ET | 07-04-2008

Leroy - I hope you don't get this message until after the weekend; that means that you have been thinking of something else for the past couple of days. It just occurred to me that the "peace" that is so elusive when cancer is so omnipresent and unrelenting, comes in days like you had the 3rd.

I kept thinking and thinking about your quest for peace a few days ago. I had been wracking my brain to figure out when we had gotten any during those days when Paul was so very ill. For me, peace had become an invisible as well as a moving target - something I wasn't able to find very much of at all.

But I look back now, and see that the closest thing I had to peace was days when nothing was scheduled, sometimes it was days when no one came over and it was just us - that gave me peace.

I'm also with Alexis, who said that it is hard to hear "have a nice weekend" from well-wishers, especially when they know (or maybe they don't) what you are going through. Sometimes I think it was said to make themselves feel better, not Paul or I.

I hope your mind is so distracted by the long weekend that you won't even read this until the 7th. My heart goes out to you and especially Laurie.

Jeanette Carney

Sent by Jeanette Carney | 8:50 AM ET | 07-04-2008

Leroy,

Our family thought we'd have a crisis everyday when we learned my wife Donna had lung cancer. Like you, we found nothing much happens with the illness most days. However; waiting for test results can be tense and the last minutes before our doctor comes in can be anixous. Honestly though, Donna handles it much better then me...and I'm the one that's supposed to be supporting her.

We've adjusted to the new "normal" over the last year; successfully weaving doctor visits, labs and medication refills with taking our kids to daycare and having Mexican dinner every Friday night, just as we've always done.

I don't know what's going to happen next. I wish I did. However; we're doing well and we'll continue to move forward and deal with the cancer head on...just as you do. Take care, get some rest, and enjoy our Nation's birthday.

Sent by Mike and Donna Perry | 11:35 AM ET | 07-04-2008

What's that they say about a soldier's life in wartime? "Long days of boredom punctuated by moments of absolute terror."

Not that I'm fond of the war metaphor, myself, when it comes to my own cancer struggle, but I do see the applicability here. Thank God for normalcy - even boredom!

Carl
"A Pastor's Cancer Diary"
http://www.cewilton.blogspot.com

Sent by Carl Wilton | 3:23 PM ET | 07-04-2008

WRONG!!!

You're eating the WRONG foods. Now is the time when you should only be putting the most HEALTHIEST of foods into your body. Not this JUNK food cooked with vegetable and partially hydrogenated oil filth.

Has anyone ever stopped to think that it is possible that it's the toxins in food that causes this?

You need to be eating small amounts of clay to clean out your digestive system, drinking green tea, using manuka or other honey to kill infections(MRSA) as well as using it on food, cooking with coconut/olive oil, eating plenty of fish(sockeye salmon), and nuts, and fruit that is grown by you or organic.

You should become a total health nut, but not obsessive as to buy everything you see on the health food store shelf. You have to see that it can make a difference what you put into your body.

Sent by John | 2:46 AM ET | 07-05-2008

Has anyone ever stopped to think that it is possible that it's the toxins in food that causes this?

I don't know, but has anybody ever stopped to think that it's the chemicals in these foods that have so vastly increased the average lifespan?

Sent by Bruce | 11:55 PM ET | 07-10-2008