Mornng Leroy,

I guess you have to go back and forth over that line in the sand with all of this. Times when you put some distance, perhaps mentally from the cancer, and how it's affecting you; and times when it's impossible to ignore, like the physical reality of needing help to move, actually being lifted by the home health aides.

Well, kiddo, we are out here, right here, holding you up too, in our prayers, hearts, spirits; hoping you can feel us holding you, lifting you up.

Surrounding you and Laurie in all the goodwill, love, and compassion that we have. Collectively, it's an enormous lifting of love.

We are here for you both.

Prayers, love, heartlight, peace,

Virgie & Kim

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 7:41 AM ET | 07-23-2008

I know that it is so hard to accept that you can no longer do some of the simple things...the mind continues to flashback to the way it used to be b/c. I often wished that I had an "on-off" switch for my mind particularly during the night so that peaceful sleep would come to visit...then again with an "on-off"switch, I may not remember to turn it "on" again! An old guy's humor...

I am ever optimistic that the people who help you each day receive many blessings for their efforts. They know "but for the Grace of God, they could be the recipient of the help they provide". They are "care givers and life givers" for you. While there are indignities for sure that you must endure, their work is noble and your gratitude is their unspoken reward.

Prayers and blessings as always for you and Laurie.

Sent by Al Cato | 7:43 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Hang in there!

Sent by Liz L. | 7:45 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, Just trust. I feel for you so badly. Mine was hip surgery and I was 200+ pound woman and it was 1-2-3 JUST TRUST US - only with pain and not being able to do for yourself it is frightening. Just take care and know that these people have done this before and will do it again.
Take care of Leroy and Laurie and of course, many prayers and love to both of you.
Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 7:49 AM ET | 07-23-2008

It is said timing is everything. In your case...the 1,2,3........is it.
Leroy, you have an arsenal of bloggers out here who love you. We can do some of the counting for you too. Always remember though how much we care.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:52 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy--With all due respect to your distinguished career, I think you're currently working on one of your most significant reporting assignments. As you accept the need for more assistance, I hope that it's gratifying for you to know how much influence you're exerting. I'm one of the many people who checks in daily for your news and for the insights and knowledge that make me a better friend and caregiver. Thank you.

Sent by Lynne | 7:58 AM ET | 07-23-2008

P.S. Leroy, hello, I just posted, but I also meant to say thank you to Beth, for her good wishes that I get to go sailing soon. Beth, thank you, have fun sailing this weekend. (sounds like you will.) It is wonderful, to be sailing. Leroy, if you enjoy sailing, hope you can at least go sailing in your imagination. If not sailing, then, definitely go to Hawaii, sit on your favorite beach, watch your favorite sunset, drink your favorite Mai Tai. Can't you just feel the breezes, hear the ocean, now? :-)

Cheers and peace,

Kim Blankenship

Sent by Kim Blankenship | 8:03 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, I am a nurse. I can tell you that it is a privilege to be able to lay hands on patients and help them. Professional caregivers are taught all kinds of handy techniques to assist people to their optimal level of functioning. And, it is an honor when patients trust us to do so.

For patients, developing trust, letting others do for them can be a difficult challenge. But, most are able to do it, gracefully and with dignity, when it becomes necessary. The human being continues to grow and develop throughout life, right up until the end. It is a beautiful thing to observe and be part of.

You are doing well, my friend. I'm so glad to hear you have the help.

Sent by Marilyn | 8:14 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Peace be with you Leroy. You may not have strength in your body but the strength in your character shines brightly to all who have come to know you. Thank you for all of the sharing and caring you have done for/to us. It is appreciated more than words can say.

God bless you and Laurie.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:35 AM ET | 07-23-2008

"So I put myself in the hands of others" is a beautiful and poignant statement. It seems to me so honest and accepting of your reliance on other people at this time. Eventually we all need to rely on the "the hands of others" in some time of need, and I don't mean to sound pretentious. Leroy, the humility you're expressing here is very moving to me, and it serves to reinforce my faith in people. Maybe in the end we really only have each other, I don't know. But, if in the end, I have only the care and love of family, friends, and care givers, that will sustain me and I will be a happy man.

Sent by Dan | 8:35 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, I am glad that you have people coming to help you. I know it has to be hard to accept this but when you think about the results of falling and possably brakeing hip, etc it seems wise to have them with you. And remember we are all there lifting with them. (hopefully we are not the two's). Just continue to try and take things one day at a time. You really are an amazeing man. Thank you so much for just being you.

I keep you and Laurie in my prayers, as I am sure many others do too.

Have the best day you can!

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:37 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Good morning dears...I'll take this count as my mantra today, for all of the heavy-lifting that cancer brings...driving 80 miles each way to the medical center, eating breakfast @ 5:30, so I'll be ready for the ct @ 9:30, stopping along the way to take the rest of the meds to protect damaged organs from the die and scan; waiting for the doctor's and study coordinator's feedback and exam...driving home with whatever the news. I'm ready, on three.

And because of your guts Leroy, I'm ever reflective and thankful that I am still able to do this stuff for myself.

San Franciso Ho!

Sent by Joan S. | 8:37 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy: I did not read yesterdays blog until late in the day (Dr. day) so I did not get to do day without you know. Loved reading the comments. We will have to do that again soon. I'm sorry that you need to depend on others. I know it is hard. I'm right behind you and not looking forward to help with everything. Shower yuk bathroom yuk I guess I should be thankful I do have helpers Hope your day is good. Thinking of you diana

Sent by diana from kc | 8:57 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Oh Leroy, you're still plenty big all right -- big enough to handle this with grace and a sense of humor!

Keep on keepin' on.....

xox

Sent by Brenda in Texas | 9:05 AM ET | 07-23-2008

I'm a long-time reader, first time commenter. I used to work as a home health aide in hospice, and I was always so happy to be sent to a home where I needed to help the person get up. It was the most rewarding job I ever had, and I felt like my clients were giving me more than I was giving them. I'm sure that your aides feel the same. My thoughts are with you.

Sent by Kate (Maine) | 9:13 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,
I think most of us are "I can do it myself, thank you" kind of people who don't want to have to ask others for help. Thank you for showing us how to do it with grace and humor. You, Laurie and your "helpers" are in my prayers.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 9:18 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,
Physical dependence is one of my biggest fears on the cancer journey, although now I am without cancer presentation. Your struggle and perhaps some degree of acceptance show that physical dependence cannot kill intellectual or emotional independence.

I will probably take this post, if it is okay, to the retirement center where I am a holistic practitioner. Many residents are coping with physical dependence and are unaware of the blessing of intellectual and emotional independence which they still have.

It is all so intense and intertwined, though.

Thank you so much for your journal, your bravery.

In healing,
Deborah

Sent by Deborah Kanter | 9:20 AM ET | 07-23-2008

My husband and I went thru the same thing. His one - two - three never quite matched the Hospice people. They made a game out of it and it was funny. He was only in bed for two days before he passed but he made it fun for all.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 9:24 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Love you Leroy...wish I could come over to help lift you, your spirits and your burden. Love to you and Laurie today. Eat some ice cream....I think it has endorphins in it!!! WOW! :)

Sent by bethann | 9:26 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Finding the humor has been one of your greatest assets and gifts that you have shared with us.
Great movie.
Stay Strong.

Sent by Brit | 9:45 AM ET | 07-23-2008

1...2...3... Teamwork!

Hold Fast, You've got it & you share it.

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 9:49 AM ET | 07-23-2008

God Bless you Leroy...everyone is sending prayers and calming thoughts your way...the good that you have accomplished with this blog cannot be measured.

Sent by Tim Broussard | 9:52 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Hi Leroy,

It's good you are accepting that kind of help, even tho you are not used to it. It makes no sense not to take advantage of the help you need to make everyday life easier.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and Laurie everyday.

Lianne

Sent by Lianne Friedman | 10:02 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,
Do whatever it takes. Accept all the help you can get. I am sure that it gives others great pleasure to assist you and I know that you are sincerely thankful. Be well dear friend. Prayers to all.

Sent by sasha | 10:08 AM ET | 07-23-2008

"...He ain't heavy - he's my brother..."

Sent by beth | 10:11 AM ET | 07-23-2008

I love you Leroy - you may not be as big as you were, but you have the biggest heart in the world.

Sent by Tina from Alton, IL | 10:15 AM ET | 07-23-2008

How difficult, Leroy. My heart is with you. On another note, clipped the dachshund's nails today and he peed all over me.

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 10:34 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,

What is it that makes us so very afraid of dependency? I wonder if we love that first independence we feel from learning to walk, to talk, etc. Before that we were completely dependent on some one else, albeit good people (our parents) but I'm sure that first taste of freedom was very sweet indeed.

Lynne is right, this has to be your toughest and most significant assignment. What groundbreaking you're doing here, Leroy! What an accomplishment. Thank you.

Prayers and hugs.

Sent by Kathy B. from Michigan | 10:39 AM ET | 07-23-2008

hi Leroy, oh boy can i Relate. Right now one of my freinds is vacuming my house while I write this.I so appreciate her helpfulness and yet Iam trying to ignor her. Its just plain hard to let people do things for you when you are used to doing things for yourself. I know she is making light of it which makes it so much easier. We are very lucky to have funny people in our midst when thinks get poopy.
love to you. Sarah

Sent by sj | 10:42 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Wish I could think of something wise and wonderful to pass on to you this morning,Leroy...I can't, not having been in your shoes.

You have been, and still are, such an inspiration to those who walk the "cancer journey"...your blog followers have grown to love you, your tenaciousness, your optimism, and your wit. May God keep you in His care as you trust angels in disguise"...your Hospice helpers. Love to you and Laurie...
Retha

Sent by Retha | 10:44 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Dude, we all know it must be tough for you. But, you've got physical support from your care givers and emotional support from your army. And that's alot of strength and support.

I wish you peace.

Sent by Joyce in FL | 10:55 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Hi Leroy,

I am right behind you. I am almost looking forward toliet. (sp?) I am alone much of the day myself. I almost fell of the toilet seat the othr day and wouldn't of been able to get up. I sure wouldn't mind if the helping hands would of been there.

God Bles us all. We aren't dead yet till the fat lady sings.........

Love ya......Dane

Sent by Diane | 11:00 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Your words today bring to mind a phrase I hear every Sunday at the local Unitarian church: "the interconnected web of all existence."It seems most of us go through life keeping a certain distance from those who are not our family or closest friends.But sometimes, as in your situation or my mom's during the last year or two of her life - we have to let go of pride and allow strangers to touch our bodies and do for us what we can no longer do for ourselves. For my mom, there was something transformational about that process.She went beyond humility to something like mutual love/respect with some of those caregivers.We all need each other in this life, and we benefit from both giving and receiving help.

Your courage and humor are my daily inspiration. Love you, Leroy.

Sent by Doris | 11:04 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,

You are good at new territory! You are great at being honest about the feelings and reactions you have to imposed changes. You may come to discover rich ground in having these new allies in your life, augmenting your own abilities, and leaving you strength for the things you most love.

Wishing you growing ease and openness as you bloom into changes.

Sent by Sarah | 11:10 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, I work in an Alzheimer's unit and no one is EVER too heavy.. You are a jewel.. HUGS!!!

Sent by Patsy | 11:14 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,

All you have to tell 'em is "you will have your hands full"...That's what I'd tell them. I'm 6'4" but very lanky...LONG arms and legs - so i'd slip outa their grasp like wet noodles! You are the best patient Leroy...remember that any aid probably looks forward to their visit with you. Love you! -Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 11:15 AM ET | 07-23-2008

We are all lifted by others in diverse ways. Carrying my sleeping 5 yr old to the toilet & back to bed sometimes can fill me tenderness, and erase my day-to-day irritation from our parenting struggles. Leroy, you have special lifting skills, and do your heavy lifting with honesty and humor using words and wit.

Sent by Barbara Goun | 11:21 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Good Morning Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, your post this morning brought a smile and memories of the times that during my nursing career, I also missed the count when assisting in the lifting of a patient. It happens! But there is also so much reality in your question of: "Will I ever get used to doing it?"
Accepting the help of others is difficult as it represents the loss of control over our own lives to some extent. And I think that facing it with humor is the best choice, just like you are doing. I also needed help getting up off the bed of the CT scanner yesterday. Without the help, I would still be there and I'm sure that was not an option! So we smile and say thanks and be really glad that help is available!

Laurie, I know that you are there by Leroy's side to give assistance as needed. And I hope that you are reaching out to others to access the help and support that you need to keep going. Please know that the love and support of all of us are there with both you and Leroy, daily.

To All, I hope that each one of us will reach out for help as it is needed. Trying to cope with Cancer alone is a job too tough to handle. Through the smiles and the tears, we are here for each other. God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 11:25 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,

By the time I got to my computer this morning, all the profound stuff had already been said. I am curious about the "they" who are sending the caregivers. Is it hospice or a home health agency?

I hope all this isn't too difficult for you to get your mind around and that you are blessed with caregivers who care as much as all of us do. Wish I could be there to take a shift!

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:26 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Hey Larry:

I am having one of my "it's just so unfair days." I am one of those "hip to be square" types. Always ate my five servings of vegetables, exercised daily, nursed my baby, stayed away from processed foods etc etc . . . and I got cancer anyway. Maybe I would have gotten it sooner, or a more aggressive type if I hadn't lived the way I lived but . . . .

It got me thinking about you and the questions we've been batting about. I think the greatest service you can do, if you're up to it, is truthfully document what this stage of your disease is like.

Everytime I hear, work for the cure, I think no . . .it's time to work for the finding the cause of this horrible disease. And a personal voice documenting what the disease is like will be the clarion call, that it's time to figure out a way to keep anyone from going through all this.

with loving thoughts,

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 11:26 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,
Instead of the one, two, three.. it was always breathe, breathe, breathe...Neil would look into my eyes and I would hold his shoulders and as they turned him, I would remind him to take deep breathes and we would take them together...it helped to give him more strength and lessen the pain. We could get past his bouts of sickness taking those same deep breaths....and he would always want me in his face helping him...the memory is making me smile today! Thank you for sharing...
Continued prayers for ya'll!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 11:34 AM ET | 07-23-2008

Hang in there Leroy!! For us care givers it is a priviledge to help.
Have a pain free day.
Peace be with you and Laurie too.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly | 11:36 AM ET | 07-23-2008

It would be an honor to assist you! Your blog had me smiling at the visual of the one-two-three! Best wishes for a comfortable day.

Sent by Susie R. from OH | 11:37 AM ET | 07-23-2008

1..2..3...ally-oop! Sending love and prayers and humor your way!

Sent by Karen | 12:21 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy and Laurie
You two enjoy each other and look out for each other. Keeping you in my prayers.

Your post today brings back the memories.

Sent by Irene | 12:22 PM ET | 07-23-2008

To sj: I had friends come over and help me clean when I was going through cancer treatment and that was one of the hardest things to deal with. But I was so blessed to have those friends.

Leroy, Hard as it is to be a caretaker of others, I think it's even harder to accept putting yourself in the hands of others with grace. We would all like to be independent and self-sufficient--although the reality is that unless we grow all our own food and warm ourselves from wood we have chopped ourselves, and get everywhere we have to go via our own body's energy (and not needing roads or sidewalks) none of us are really all that "self-sufficient" these days. But we don't have to SEE the hands that help us for those other things--we can't ignore them when they are vacuuming our house or lifting us out of bed.

I know this will sound really corny and it may not work for you, but when I was in a position where people had to help me with all sorts of things "normal" people can do by themselves, I tried to remind myself of those other ways that even when life was "normal", my life was invisibly made easier by the hands of others (those that grew my food, plowed my streets, etc.) and I let myself feel grateful and connected to all those people.

It made it easier when a nurse's aid had to help me get to the bathroom. It really did.

Sent by N.R. | 12:25 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, I love it. Have some fun in whatever you do, especially interactions with people.
I was in a car accident a number of years ago when I drove under a bus. I was not hurt at all, but getting me out was an adventure. They had to cut the roof off my car. Then they strapped me to a board, but someone let go too soon. No harm done. On the ride to the hospital, the EMT asked me who the President is. Not missing a beat, I replied "Slick Willy!" Everyone got a big laugh.
Just tell them not to drop you. 1-2-3

Sent by Tom Escott | 12:29 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Good morning, Leroy, Beth said it adequately! You are very much our brother and all of this is in "special hands". Love

Sent by Lucy from Alaska | 12:41 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, Sorry it has come to this. Losing the ability to rely on yourself is something I have had issues with the entire time. I am so sorry! I hope they are good at what they do. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 12:49 PM ET | 07-23-2008

God Bless you, Leroy and Laurie

Kate in California

Sent by Kate | 1:09 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,

You are simply the best at all that you are and do -- Your journalism, your strategizing, your psychology, your philosophy, your humanity, your BE-ing. I marvel at how you've walked us with you to this point; including us in your thoughts and hearing us out as you ponder challenges and decisions; and leading us gently to new awareness as to what is taking place with you. You are masterful, in every good and honorable way. You inspire us and touch us and move us and make us laugh and think and love and consider ... You are an unspeakable treasure.

It's funny, isn't it, how we have all come to love one another here, all because of you. Who'd 'a ever thunk it? Thank you.

One-two-three ... Go!

Love to you, Leroy, and Laurie, and ALL,

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 1:22 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,
My husband has always been the one that has helped everyone so I am amazed that he will concede to letting others help him. I think he has had so many other short illnesses over the last few years that he has been able to slowly understand what it is to accept help. While he has tremendous drive to get himself back on his feet he understands his limitations and the need to accept nurses and therapists. Trying to stand up on a walker and throw his head forward and trust the laws of nature has been hard for him but thank God he is now walking short distances. He and our beautiful granddaughter are learning to walk together. Both are beautiful sights. I know you will graciously accept the help of your nurses and kindly teach them how to count. God bless both all of us for none of us know when the day will come that we have to ask for assistance.

Sent by Kathie | 1:25 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,
Today's post brings me back to two episodes in my life. The first was after my over-200-pound dad's heart bypass surgery. My mom, who was only about 1/2 his size, did the 1...2...3... to get him out of the chair. The second time was as Alzheimer's disease took it's toll on Mom, Dad helped her the same way (not to mention getting her dressed, etc.). Both times, they amazed each other and us. It was a tribute to their trust in each other (and great love, too). Then there were the wonderful nurses in their assisted living complex - willing, able, gracious angels. All of them.

Marilyn, your comments really confirmed what I've experienced over & over again. Thank you for helping to bolster Leroy - and for reminding all of us that is OK to accept help. (Gotta get a tissue now...)

Leroy & Laurie, thank you again and always!

Sent by Judie in CT | 1:47 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,
Iamcurrent zstade 4 colon cancer with mets to the liver.I noticed that your mentiob that chemo was noy an option for you. I am curiousby that remark.Was iy your decicion or the Dr. I am at that point where I am tryng to dencide whether to countine chemo.(quality vs quatity). Thank you MY prayers are you and everyone has whith this disease.

Sent by Alan Jennings | 1:54 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Sending you good wishes for a peaceful day.

Katren

Sent by Karen | 2:12 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,
Could you at this point call your column "Not my "c"? We'd all know that you are going to defeat
the invader, that you didn't ask for & are telling the invader to LEAVE,NOW! In the name of God. gloria sullivan

Sent by Gloria Sullivan | 2:21 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,
Here's a small tip: if you have carpeting in your bedroom, remove it if you can. Hospice will bring you a hydraulic lift (if no hospice, you can rent one from a medical equipment supply store). They can be a tremendous help for your caregiver. They are sometimes a little tricky at first, but stick with it, it gets easier. Also, a higher hospital bed with an ELECTRIC motor for up and down, is very helpful for both you and your caregiver. Good luck, my friend.
Victoria Murray, Los Angeles

Sent by Victoria Murray | 2:32 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, you probably know the value of teamwork-- let it work for you here! Sometime tells me you'll give them a good chuckle or too. Take care.

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 3:23 PM ET | 07-23-2008

It is so hard to be dependent after a life time of taking pride in being independent...We start very young saying "Me do it!" (I quote my youngest grandchild and every 2 year old that ever was). However, that being said, I use to work as a nurse's aid in a nursing home (I am an RN now). Many, many times what started as simply helping someone transfer from a chair to bed, turned into a loving Hug from my patient. I miss that part of the job. As Marilyn said...it is an honor to be trusted, to be permited to help in the most intimate parts of people's lives, and a joy to be appreciated for the work we do.
I hope I remember that if (when?) my own cancer starts getting ahead in the race and I require the help of others to get through the day.

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 3:38 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, You are a HOOT! What kind of future treatment is in the works for you? Hang in there, my thoughts and prayers are with you every single day.

Sent by Ruth White | 3:42 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Can you feel us lifting?
Up you go. Steady now.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 4:50 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Just keep them counting. You are in my thoughts and prayers. With care and wishes for a peaceful evening.

Sent by anne lumberger | 4:59 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Don't forget to BREATHE. 1-inhale, 2-hold, 3-exhale (everybody up). Wonder what happens if we count in reverse. Hah!

Sent by Paulette | 6:31 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy-
You have always been in someone else's hands...we are now no more masters of our ship than we've ever been. Hang in there, and accept the help; it is the cargiver's privledge to be able to give it. As said elsewhere in today's blog, there, but for the grace of God, go I.
Love to you.

Sent by Marianne | 7:00 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy and others:

My daughter just called to tell me she had written in her blog about me. When I went there, it was her experience of my cancer. I think it sheds wonderful light on what children go through.

Your can read it here if you choose:
http://miccacarey.typepad.com/my_weblog/

It's like that old ad. Cancer touches two people who touch to people who touch two people . . . .

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 7:15 PM ET | 07-23-2008

"And so we go on three." I've often thought I'd like to write the story of my life in a kind of "chapter titles" fashion, without all the extra words that come after the chapter title. This would make a lovely chapter title. Love the sense of humor. Love, Joyce

Sent by joyce smith | 7:19 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
My thoughts are with you both, today and all days.
Jane

Sent by Jane | 7:23 PM ET | 07-23-2008

I have been avoiding you--not intentionally--when I saw you as an audience member last year on the Cancer/Koppel special you seemed so well--that I stopped checking up on you. I was listening today to an afternoon spot on NPR regarding cancer treatment here in the US vs. UK--people here insiston the eke out every ounce and dollar of treatment--I don't think we do--if and when the croc comes back for the other leg ala Captain Hook--I am going to have to think really really hard about the horrors of a treatment plan that will give me an extra 30 days of pain, nausea, nightmares and woe. I don't think we cancerites can be clumped into one big group--what I want as a nearly 60 year old is very different than what a sweet 10 year old with the possibility of a future might be willing to explore. Whaddya think?
Please take care Leo and let sun shine on you.

Sent by mj | 7:29 PM ET | 07-23-2008

well Leroy , i think your care givers are very lucky to have face time with you! I would love to meet you face to face and talk about all of our trials and tribulations. And i understand how hard it is to be dependent and not in control I think this is the lesson we have been handed in this life. and we need to understand and embrace it.know that i am envious of the people that get to know personally take care , Jody Salem

Sent by jody Salem | 7:35 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy, as a PT, I can tell you that usually there's a trick to make anything easier... whether it's a lift, an exercise, or a task. The biggest trick of all is trust. Sometimes it's given freely and sometimes it takes some work. And know that the good people caring for you need to trust you as well. My dad (the most trusting soul ever) had to work at this when his cancer got to be too much for his body... Wishing you peace!

Sent by Cancer PT | 8:03 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Prince Valiant,

I think you're bigger and stronger than ever.

Still lifting!

With much love to you and Laurie, and all your life-givers.

Sent by Janice J. , Los Angeles | 8:16 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy: I remember Burge smiling about the first time physical theory came to see if he could walk well enough to go home. They put him on a set of stairs and asked him to walk down. "We'll catch you!" they said.

The only funny part of this was, both young physical theorist were about 5'2 and 5'4 and about 105lbs...Burge was 6'2+ and about 230lbs. He asked the ladies, "when you say you'll catch me, were you meaning like in floor mat?" There wasn't any way those two were going to beat inertia.

Thinking of you today and always.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 8:18 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Dear Leroy,

Accepting help other than Laurie must be difficult. I truly understand and feel that she probably appreciates the help, even if it is with reluctance. It is a change, and change is not always easy to adapt to.

Rest and say thank you very much, we appreciate you being here.

Today we traveled to Kentucky, visited Mammouth Cave took the 2 hour historic tour, then to Maker's Mark Distillery.. Are you noticing a pattern here. :) We got to taste and to I dipped my own wax cap onto a 375mL bottle. The heat and humidity was much less and NO RAIN OR LIGHTNING.

More tomorrow of our on the road saga.

Sent by Sue Chap | 8:49 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Nothing wise to say - just warm.

Thinking of you, praying for you, grateful to you.

Not a day goes by without my prayers for you. I did find myself wondering about how you view religion as I heard you on NPR a few weeks ago. You are pretty clear that you will not discuss religion so I do wonder if you find peace in the prayers of others.

Either way, I will be praying ...

Sent by Melissa T | 10:28 PM ET | 07-23-2008

Leroy,
We will always be there to catch you if needed!

Warmly,

Betsey

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 6:19 AM ET | 07-24-2008

Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer just about a year ago, I have come to believe that the key to the whole thing is 'putting myself in the hands of others.' Trusting my doctors, having people pray for me, letting others take care of what they need to take care of for me.........

Sent by k8 | 6:54 AM ET | 07-24-2008

I have a work friend who is a single mother of two young boys. She was a truly passionate workaholic. She was diagnosed with a very serious form of breast cancer. At one point, she was too weak to feed and bathe her children and herself and didn't have any family to rely on. Her peers at work stepped in and took turns cooking meals and coming over to help with these things for months. She was not the kind of person who takes easily to not being in control. I'm sure accepting this help was one of the hardest things she's done but she was truly desperate with no other options and needed the help for the sake of her boys in addition to herself. In the end...she talked so much about how amazed she was at the kindness and generosity of these people. She realized that she hardly knew them before even though she saw each of them every day and that she missed seeing so much. She has recovered now and she sees the world and the people close to her through different lenses. Cancer sucks...we all know that...but I have to admit there are some gems of experience and insights mixed into the whole ball of wax...even the hard parts.

PEACE

Sent by Nichole in FL | 8:24 AM ET | 07-24-2008

Dear Laurie,
I know you must need some big hugs right now. It is devastating to see your independent, strong man having to be lifted by others. Why people have to suffer so is something I keep asking myself. So far, I don't have an answer. I'm quite sure that some of Leroy's strengths have transfered over to you and will help to carry you through. My heart aches for you and for all who have to see things that are almost unbearable to watch. My husband died on Father's Day and though every day is a challenge, I would not have wanted to see one more second of his suffering.

Sent by Elaine | 8:33 AM ET | 07-24-2008

Peggy C,
Great blog by your daughter...

Leroy,
Hang in there buddy. We love ya

Sent by liz Zimmerman | 10:14 PM ET | 07-24-2008