Dear Leroy,
God bless Laurie. I hope God continues to give her strenth and courage. I pray every day for courage. It's not easy being a caregiver. It hurts so bad at times................

Prayers to all.

Sent by sasha | 7:35 AM ET | 07-28-2008

It's amazing how human beings in extraordinary circumstances work toward a "new normal." I've seen this happen with fellow cancer patients and with friends living with chronic degenerative diseases, such as, MS and Parkinsons. Observe, adjust, tweak, and readjust. I imagine as a journalist surviving in difficult environments, you became adept. You had to.

Sent by Leslie Bjorncrantz | 7:37 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leroy and friends,

This leg of the vacation is over and it is back to the usual stuff, with additions of course. I still have catching up to do reading the many posts from the week.

I chuckled when I read your post today, looking for short cuts to accomplish everyday things. Typical, and certainly ok. There are many assistive devices that help patients and families every single day. Look into them or invent one (don't forget the patent).

Happy to be home, on to business as usual.

Have a great day.

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:50 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy and Laurie...I hope you both realize that we, members of Leroy's army, appreciate the energy and time it must take to get the blog out to us every day.

Thank you.

Sent by Peggy | 7:52 AM ET | 07-28-2008

I don't know how you manage to do this each time...You jumpstart my day. I was ...well words cannot describe and my chemo brain doesn't help me...You ended today's thoughts with you are pretty lucky. Anyone else with your story might never have those thoughts. But you do and you put them out there for everyone else. God Bless you and Laurie for sharing this all with us.

Sent by Helene Weingarten | 8:07 AM ET | 07-28-2008

You know, Leroy, you DON'T complain, you DON'T like the way things are and you express it - but it would be very odd to say this is all I ever dreamed of! Take care, know that Laurie and your friend love you, your nurses care about you and we out here in cyberspace - we think you are everything wonderful in this life and we always send you our love and prayers.
Jan

Sent by janice goldberg white | 8:08 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Once again, Leroy. Consider hospice. People have this stubborn resistance, as if they're inviting death when they invite hospice. That they're declaring defeat. That's backwards. They're about making life all it can be - the precious life that may be left. Remember, if you have a great recovery, they can stop. But if you get worse, they can make it all so much easier - for you and for your caregiver. One of the biggest advantages is that they have such quick and easy access to your doctors. They deliver your meds and supplies. They really, really understand and get it. Think about it.

Sent by Laura | 8:40 AM ET | 07-28-2008

The thing about getting ready in the morning is that it is so redundant! The whole time you're doing it, you know you'll just have to do it again tomorrow! I don't know why they never perfected that idea on the Jetsons; remember that? Just step in a tube and presto, new hair, new outfit, no muss no fuss. I need that!

Sent by missy Patterson | 8:50 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy, systems, what ever works the easiest and best. It is amazeing how we start working those just like any other function that we have ever had to deal with. I am glad that you have someone strong that can come and help you. Special people and I am sure that it helps him to deal with all of this too.

Leroy, I am sure that Laurie knows how you feel but don't stop telling her also. She I am sure needs to hear your love and careing as I am sure the time is difficult for her too right now. It is hard to watch someone we love struggling..

You and Laurie have a good day. Always glad to hear from you again on Mondays. Hope your weekend was a restful happy one.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:51 AM ET | 07-28-2008

I'm laughing about you not being an easy patient. I've read before that difficult patients have the best outcomes. Go figure. I can just picture you suggesting alternatives for everything. You go Leroy! What the heck, you should have a say about something for Pete's sake!

Hugs to you both.

Sent by Lori | 9:01 AM ET | 07-28-2008

One amazing thing about our situations...regardless of the changes that come we adapt. What we once imagined we could never do becomes the new "normal" with time.

Peace be with you Leroy and Laurie

Sent by Russ Swanson | 9:06 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Needing such effort to do things that used to be effortless is SUCH a pain, and a visible sign of the toll that illness takes. However, if you break the task up into stages, and can rest in between stages, you can finish by not being totally wiped out at the end of it.
Have you made the decision about to hospice or not to hospice? Heads? Tails?

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 9:07 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Having 'been there, done that' I can tell you, Leroy, that Laurie is so very glad that she can do something, anything to help. It's so hard to watch what you're going through and not be able to take some of it on, take some of it away.

This is that new level of a relationship that I've mentioned before. The trust, the intimacy, the companionship of this time become some of the most wonderful memories.

Hugs and prayers.

Sent by Kathy B. from Michigan | 9:23 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leroy,

Glad to hear you are getting use to the new routine and you have an extra set of hands for the lifting. You and Laurie are in our thoughts and prayers.

I watched a DVD from the library over the weekend. It was Mike Douglas, Moments and Memories. What a wonderful man and show. Maybe you might be interested in getting some DVD's from the library? I look at their list online and they call me when they come in to be picked up. It is a nice way to try new things to watch.

Sent by barbara j | 9:26 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Thank Goodness for Laurie. You are Loved. Hope your day goes well.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 9:53 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Remember Leroy,
They do it because they want to and they love you...I'm sure all of us in "Blog-Land" were there to help you too just as you have helped all of us!

Wishing I was there...

Michael

Sent by Michael (Lifegiver Survivor) Chicago | 10:14 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Thank goodness for Laurie. Thank goodness for you. Thank goodness for this blog- I am ever grateful that you still think about us and write to us. Being a cancer patient and caregiver is TOUGH. I try to stay strong, but it was a difficult weekend and Sasha's words are so true. It hurts.

Sent by Tina from Alton, IL | 10:18 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leory and Laurie,
Back in the early 1990's when I had ovarian cancer the first time I listened to Dr. Bernie Siegel's tapes. One thing I remember is how to be a good bad patient as opposed to being a good good patient who never speaks up or challenges anything. The good good patient would let the nurse give him an enema that was orderd for another patient and not say a word. I sure hope you are being a good bad patient! Still saying prayers for you and Laurie. God bless your good friend who is helping...a true friend indeed.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:28 AM ET | 07-28-2008

When my 81 year old mother had back surgery, I was amazed at all the little tools and gadgets that the occupational therapy dept. had to help her do the simple day to day tasks that are necessary. They may have some handy ideas for you, too.

Sent by Alice May - Nebraska | 10:36 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy, It seems to me the only thing which make this bearable is the help and support from those close. As you are, I am lucky in this regard. I do worry about the pressure this puts on them. I do hope you have a good week. Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 10:39 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Yes, you are lucky to have Laurie and your strong friend, they are lucky to have you, and WE are all so very lucky to have you talking to us every day. Keep it up! And keep trying to figure out shortcuts. I suspect that is just part of your character -- curiosity, inventiveness, combined with a bit of stubborness. Go, Leroy!

Sent by Doris | 10:54 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Yay for these loving supports in your life! Please, please, please explore getting a Hoyer or other type of mechanical lift so that you can be lifted with safety, comfort and ease by even the tiniest person. It will give you freedom and open up the range of caregivers who can assist you.... It may prevent injuries (yours and theirs) too...

Sent by Sarah | 11:02 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
Glad to hear you've got a system that seems to be working. Hang in there, both of you!

Betsey

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 11:02 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy,

You do what you do with the grace of a ballet dancer. Very few tumbles. I hope you know that we are here whether you are leaping up or falling on the floor. What an inspiration (but you don't have to be for us!)

Sent by Diana Kitch | 11:32 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leroy snd Laurie. Your msssage this morning was so honest, so heartwarming and SO VERY LEROY! I understand completely what you are talking about. You say that you are not an easy person to care for.Well my husband and I are "not easy Old Folks" either! 60 years together and do you know that we get more demanding of each other, constantlly looking for the easy way to do things and very unhappy when the the ole tried and true methods seem too laborious and tedius anymore! I particularly, am harder to get along with 'cause I get frustrated that I cannot do what I used to. I get so agravated with myself and take it out on him. Not a nice person, right?
But you know what? We still love each other and understand, so we go to sleep each night after a day of too much bickering, kissing good-night and holding hands. That's what love is all about!

Sent by J C R | 11:32 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Best wishes from Iceland.
We know ????rir, I have a litle six year old hero who has brain cancer.

??slaug and family

Sent by ??slaug ??sk Hinriksd??ttir | 11:43 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Hey Leroy-
:) the devil is in the details. I was going to mention the Hoyer lift (I see Sarah already has) as a fun toy you might look into getting. Have someone help train you how to use it (check with hospice, they may have some ideas without having to 'admit' you). I've got an old Frank Sinatra tune playing in my head ("My Way"), reminds me of you a little :).
(here's the lyrics, do with them what you will...)
And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

Sent by Maureen M. | 11:52 AM ET | 07-28-2008

My husband and I had our own system too. It took some work - but we worked it out and things fell in place. I am sure that Laurie does not mind one bit doing things for you just as I did not mind doing for him.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 11:52 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Laurie,
I hope the day goes by in a peaceful manner. Caregiver has to be the toughest job there is. What you have to witness, and endure is unexplainable. I was in your shoes a while ago, and it's no picnic. The things that cancer does to a person you love is indescribable.
The anger, the humiliation, the at times hopelessness, these are just a few of the countless feelings a caregiver has to endure personally.
Walk on Laurie.
My (now gone) wife Marina used to tell me that I did everything for her, and I guess I did try for her out of love.
I would reflect on how I would pray for the strength and courage from God, and knew that it was from God who did everything for me, including my sick and lovely wife.
God bless you Laurie.

Sent by Donato S. | 11:54 AM ET | 07-28-2008

Laurie and Leroy,

I remember having a backup and a backup for the backup. Joe used to say I was the love of his life and the pain of his ass. Maybe that is what you and Leroy are being to each other as you work out the quirks of your approach to the changes. Enjoy each other in spite of all this.

Sent by Irene | 12:08 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Oh Leroy, amazing you are, and Laurie. Hope the Jetson idea above made you both laugh...but where's that anti-cancer zapper machine? What a tough road you're soldiering together. I send my thoughts.

Sent by Marcia E. | 12:23 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Whatever works!

Sent by Lucy from Alaska | 12:33 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leroy,

We are all so grateful for YOU, and for the loving care you're receiving from Laurie and your strong friend (and Alice, too) ~

Here's a Hawaiian prayer for you and Laurie today:

"Bless our home, Father,
that we cherish the bread before there is none,
discover each other before we leave,
and enjoy each other for what we are, while we have time."

With wishes for continued blessings,

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 1:07 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy, have been following this blog quietly for some time now. You may remember it was you who encouraged me to stay out of the news business and follow my passion for creative production. I think about that conversation all the time, as it's led me towards a great career in strategic communications.

I recently lost a very close friend and mentor to pancreatic cancer; she and her family spoke about seeing you and following your story. I heard you on the radio not long ago, and suddenly was overwhelmed with emotion because I felt like I knew a bit more about what you and Laurie and your family and your friends are going through, having been a part of cancer here close to home. It made me feel good, though, to hear you and remember our conversation. It may seem brief, but your words then -- as now -- have had a lasting impact on my life.

Be well, big guy. Looking forward to many more posts here.

Sent by Zach Hyder | 1:13 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Thank you again, Leroy, for sharing your thoughts with us.
I had foolishly thought that by reading this blog and all of the comments daily that I would be prepared for the day when my 67 year young mother-in-law would be given the news that she probably has 'months' left. She is a 2-time breast cancer survivor, healthy for the past 10 years. Now they found cancer in her bones and brain within the past 3 months. So quickly are the changes. Eleven weeks of brain radiation did not help as she had been led to believe it would.
How and when to tell our 5 year old son that Grammy is not going to get better? And how on earth do we visit with her without having the time end in tearful goodbyes, each time wondering if this might be almost the last 'good' visit? We're trying not to be in mourning, and I've listened to Randy Pausch a billion times, yet I think we're all walking around on the verge of tears. As all too many of you know, it is just so, so sad.
thanks for listening. Leroy, you continue to amaze me. Peace to you and Laurie.
Gail

Sent by Gail | 1:22 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Thank you for all of your communication and sharing, Leroy, on the up days as well as the other ones. You were mentioned by me in Seattle this past week - but they didn't put it in the newspaper article about our Cancer Bloggers Reunion http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/372201_cancerbloggers25.html . I just want you and your readers to know how your influence has made a great difference in my life. I wish you a good week ahead.

Sent by Teri | 1:22 PM ET | 07-28-2008

You are blessed to have "angels" here like Laurie and your friends who do what they do because they love you. Their work and tasks are selfless...it's all about you and helping you to cope with another day. Their reward is to see that they have achieved their goal for the day. Hopefully the grace that you demonstrate each day even with some of the more undignified tasks will let them know that you also care very much about them.

Blessings and prayers as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 1:23 PM ET | 07-28-2008

It sounds like blessing continue to abound - Laurie, you are a blessing to Leroy. Your friend is blessing to you both. Leroy, you are a blessing to all of us.

But do consider getting a lift from home health.

Hugs & prayers from Kansas

Sent by GFC | 1:26 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leroy, I am so glad you have the love of Laurie and friends to help you when you need it. Humbling, to be sure, but you are also giving them a gift; I hope you realize it. Love and a hug

Sent by Alycia Keating | 2:01 PM ET | 07-28-2008

You and your circle of support are amazing. God bless you and keep you

Sent by Jane | 2:13 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Adapting, coping, adjusting to new realities. Rock on, Leroy.

Sent by Tracy | 2:19 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Bless you Laurie! I know you are willing and happy to help Leroy. Thank you Leroy for sharing your good and bad times.
Peace be with you both. Have a pain free day.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly | 2:34 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear friend,
Thank you for being there in our world every M-F morning. Thank you for bringing us together here. Thank you for sharing your life with us and letting us share ours. To another week!!
God bless you, and God bless Laurie.
From Sherri in Texas, BC stage 2, dx 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 3:28 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Reaching an "a-hah" moment can be humbling and enlightening. That's the way short cut ideas are. Usually it's the PT who has the best ideas, but not always. After all, you may have the most innovative way to scratch an area no one else can reach. :) Let us know; we need innovations out here!

Sent by Paulette | 3:52 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Hi Leroy,
I am also "high maintenance" as a patient. My husband and I remind each other all the time, "there is no one on earth I would rather love and annoy for the rest of my life." Ha! Ha! Ha!

Linda Lee: hugs across the internet for you. You are in my thoughts.

Be well all,
Debra

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 3:58 PM ET | 07-28-2008

When I couldn't afford a car, my solution for getting to work was to ride my vintage Raleigh Record. My commute, mostly on the Charles River bike path, was full of toothy grins, cordial exchanges and occasionally painful, from the balance loss consequences of on-coming cleavage distraction.

The courtesy, so as not to startle, was to announce "on your left" as you past others on the bike path. On one such occasion, I heard "on your left" and was past by a Boston marathon training wheelchair racer. That moment forever changed my notions about what it meant to be handicapped.

Hold Fast, work the upper body & keep some sunshine in your system.

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 4:35 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Just checking in to see how my friend Leroy is doing. Odd to call you a friend since I've never met you and never will, but your blog has caused me to think of you as one, especially since we share the same dangerous diagnosis.

I'm glad you are doing OK today!

Sent by Scott S. | 4:47 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Dear Leroy,

I am so happy that you still feel lucky. You know not all of us get to see how much we are loved and to be so
tremendously supported. I hope you always feel lucky....

Sent by Mary C. | 6:20 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Exactly, find the easiest way to cope and get by. Laurie is filling a role I know she needs to fill to feel needed.
Leroy, take care, write this blog when you want to, we are big people, we understand.
If you need us, we are here, but do not let this blog become a burden.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 6:34 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy,
Please scroll back up and read Kathy B. from Michigan's words again.
Kathy, you seem to always say what I want to say--I guess we are missing our husbands today and every day. My heart goes out to you (and several others)every time I read...
Jane

Sent by Jane in AR | 6:46 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Leroy - As my Mom used to say "when you don't have butter use margine..."

Sent by Beth | 8:24 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Watching my husband carry my ailing,naked father in his arms to the shower brought tears to my eyes. After 28 years of marriage I thought would I have ever imagine that I could love my husband more than the day I married him? I am one of the blessed ones who's family shined in our time of caregiving. I know Leroy, you feel the same.

Sent by Penny Coeur d'Alene, Idaho | 8:29 PM ET | 07-28-2008

"I get by with a little help from my friends"

I wish that were true for everyone that ends up in your situation and I am VERY glad it's true for you.

Sent by N.R. | 9:11 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Hi Leroy, I'm so glad you are meeting your daily needs with a system you and Laurie have created: sounds good and am glad it appears to be working - One Day At A Time! Love, Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 9:44 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Dude:

I may have told you this already, but I have a framed Mary Engelbreit card on my desk, of a young girl, eyes like a crazy woman, breaking out of the picture frame with her hands. The caption is "Life is Just So Daily".

Ain't it the truth. We all long for a moment (well, probably more than a moment) to catch our breath and remember . . . .um, yeah, well I forgot what it is we're trying to remember.

Guess what? Here in the West we consider Russian thistle the scourge of the west, but I discovered that is smells just like honey when it's in bloom, and that goldfinches eat the seeds and use the down from the flowers to line their nests. Drat! I like it better when things are black and white!

Take care,

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 10:13 PM ET | 07-28-2008

Sorry it took so long to reply to this issue....We were giving Laurie a Standing ovation for being laurie.....

Sent by Rob | 8:59 AM ET | 07-29-2008

Leroy,I have followed your career and now your illness through mutual friends and through my family members who wake each day and head for their laptops to see if "Leroy has posted" yet. I now feel the need to thank you for your gift to us all of a life well lived. You have truly "lived life" these last 53 years and have been a terrific example for us all.Although its been probably 35 years since we have seen each other,I still recall what a smart,centered,focused young man you were,at a time of life when that was not an easy thing. I just wanted to touch base with you and let you know how much I respect you for all of your accomplishments in life and for still being a really great guy! I only wish we had the opportunity to know each other now with the wisdom of age... May God bless you in your journeys from here on out.Cheers old friend! Buddy Sbicca

Sent by Buddy Sbicca | 6:18 PM ET | 07-29-2008

Laurie,
My donut days are ahead of me, far off, I hope, but I have never known what somewhat meant more than what you said. I asked my husband, a 4th stage lung cancer patient if he got what you said and he said yes- from being with you and your sisters, he knew exactly what you meant. I'm so sorry for your donut days.
Joan

Sent by Joan Hamm | 8:24 PM ET | 07-30-2008