Laurie asked us to tell you how touched she was by the incredible comments and messages of sympathy this weekend, and how grateful she is. She was overwhelmed by them. She will write a post herself soon, but is not ready to do it yet.
-- Maeve McGoran
7:10 AM ET | 08-18-2008 | permalink
My friend has died.
I begin each day reading what Leroy and Laurie have written. Today, I can barely write thru my tears. The blog has helped me so much even tho my cancer was six years ago. Laurie, you have been a wonderful source of strength to Leroy and all of us. May you now find the strength you will need. Please write when you can and let us know how you are.
Thank you for updating us...
You are all in our prayers for strength and peace during this difficult time.
I cried - Leroy's words helped me through a journey my husband and I are still on - I shall miss him - even though I did not know him - I shall miss him.
Maeve,
Thank you for updating the page. Whatever Laurie decides to do and whenever she decides to do it, will be completely from her heart. Her grief is unimaginable to me but I'm sure she has lots of friends and family to hold her up. My heart breaks for her.
I will miss Leroy greatly - I read every single post he made and came to feel like I knew Leroy, even just a little, through his blog. Leroy's blog helped me get through my battle with cancer and he will be missed dearly.
I'm not sure i'll be able to stop coming here every day, it was such a support for me and Leroys words and thoughts carried me through on my journey in the cancer world. I hope you are taking care of yourself Laurie, and i'll keep checking in to see if you've posted. When you are ready.
Jenn from Maine
I am sad for all of us - for this entire community. We have all lost someone important and special to us. My morning coffee just doesn't taste the same without some Leroy with it.
Tears.
I'm sure I'm not the only person crying right now. Thank you to Leroy for his courage and inspiration.
As a baby boomer, like Mr. Sievers, we have come to believe that life is ours until we decide that we no longer want it. Leroy taught me that is not true, life is a gift and like every gift, each one is different, some people get a huge, brightly decorated box that may or may not contain something that they want. Others get a small box, packed inside with the one thing that they had wanted more than anything.
Leroy's box may not have been as large as some others, but it was packed, right to the end with all of the things that he loved.
We should understand that as humans we don't have the gift of life or death, all we have is what is contained within the box. Enjoy your gift to the fullest, no matter its size.
I came home yesterday after being away for a week, and checked the website wondering what Leroy had been up to, what he was thinking about, how he was feeling, and whether he and Laurie had engaged hospice yet. I was stunned by the news that Leroy died, that it happened so soon ... I'm so sorry for your loss, Laurie, for the loss of the personality and person who was Leroy, for the loss of your relationship with him, and yet also relieved that the struggle (or that part of the struggle) is over for you both. Maybe it's just the luxury of distance that prompts that feeling.
As always, I wish you wellness, in your grieving and in your living ...
Maeve,
A response is certainly Laurie's call. Do you have the particulars of Leroy's services? There might be some of us who could go.
Thanks
Dear Maeve, Laurie and others who loved and cherished Leroy,
I'm thinking on this absolutely glorious late summer day - a day of pure sunshine, low humidity at last, and clear blue skies - that somewhere Leroy and Spanky are hanging out together, maybe tossing a fisbee, maybe just looking around and getting used to their new world together. And somewhere, Leroy is hoping that we'll be telling those funny stories about him and sharing the good memories together. But I guess he also knows, prescient fellow that he was, that we're all pretty devastated right about now, and Laurie, he's most likely thinking most about you, as we all are. You were his rock, his partner, and his love. So give yourself the gift of time to heal a little, grieve, think, rage and shake your fist at the fate that took Leroy far too soon. Believe me, there are lots of us right behind you doing exactly the same things, each of us considering how much of a void he left in our own lives.
I have cherished this blog, and the spirit of Leroy. I rejoiced when he finished the Harry Potter series. I will never pass a Jeep without a grin, thinking of that secret wave. I will never pick up an account of some far-flung war without thinking of his simple goodness in the face of evil, and his unflinching dedication to speaking truth to power in his journalism. Leroy, in short, was a mensch of the highest order. He rode the rollercoaster with his arms in the air, sometimes scared of the big drop, but never scared to share his deepest feelings. He was the voice that got so many thousands of us through our own rollercoaster rides, and told us it was OK to feel scared, angry, touched and filled with joy at the prospect of one more day to pick up our lives and find a little joy along the way.
Now we are here for you, and for Maeve and for all the family and friends who had the great good fortune to know and love this special guy. You are all in our thoughts, and we wish you peace and knowledge that you are not alone.
Take care, take time, take joy in the years you had together and the memories you made.
Be with you God leroy !
My heart is breaking for Laurie and for everyone suffering through cancer. Leroy is at peace now. I miss his golden voice and his strength. Laurie, may you be cradled by all this love.
Thank you for the update, Maeve. May the prayers and support of "Leroy's (and now Laurie's) Army" provide her strength during the oh so difficult days ahead. We'll be here when she's ready to post.
I had to come here today and see if there was a new posting. I have been doing it for so long that I just had to check it. I have read all of the posts from the past weekend - my thoughts are with you Laurie and I wish there was something I could do to help you. I have traveled down the path you are on right now - God will give you the strength needed to carry you thru. Please know that you are thought of every minute by all of us on here.
Dear Laurie, I've read LeRoy's blog since the Discovery Channel special. This is only the second time I am posting. My thoughts are with you and I am so sorry for your loss. I wanted you to know how much LeRoy's blog has helped me, a fellow cancer patient. It was the first thing I looked at every morning. It made me cry at times, laugh other times, nod in agreement many times. It was such a support and I will always be grateful to LeRoy for sharing so much with all of his readers, even during the most difficult and painful times. Thank you to both of you.
I am another everyday-reader posting for the first time. My mom died in November from colorectal cancer, and Leroy's words always touched me. He bravely said what my mom dared not say - until her very last days.
I have found some comfort here, and I will miss him.
With heartfelt sympathy to you, Laurie.
Leroy was an incredible man.. he gave us all so much........
He will be missed....
Laurie take your time... and just know you are in our thoughts and prayers
Laurie and her family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers. Leroy touched many, many lives -- I feel privileged to have been one of those.
Maeve,
Thank you for the update. As I read the posts from the weekend, I too, am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for Leroy and Laurie. It is so beautiful.
As I listened to NPR this morning, Leroy's last words were so true. We walk this cancer road alone, whether the patient or the lifegiver. This garden that Leroy helped to cultivate, became a family.
So many of us here have either lost a loved one to cancer or are fighting the battle of their life. So much hope, bravery and courage comes through here. As I have said before and what Leroy said this morning, here, we are not alone. This is where we can support one another and love one another. This is where we can send thoughts and prayers to Sasha and John, Sue, Debra, JCR, Graham and worry when we don't hear from Al and Eileen and many others. I think this weekends post state that clearly enough.
To Laurie, NPR, and all of this family, I wish you peace and love and continued prayers as always!
Dearest Laurie - May G-d give you the strength that you need right now; do not be afraid to let down and cry and cry - you have been so brave AND LUCKY - you had Leroy in your life and knew the real man - more than just the man with cancer. What a person he was and may he know what he did for so many and what a person he was - may he rest in peace.
Love, Janice
Laurie,
I send you and Leroy my love, my thoughts, my prayers. The design of life followed by death is a horrible plan... And leaving life early is even more horrible. God Bless Leroy for what he endured which will help others in their struggle with this awful disease. God Bless You, Laurie with Light and Love.
Several years ago I started a fund at the Richmond Community Foundation called the Sciuk Brain Cancer Research Fund to raise money for brain tumor search. I would very much like to make a donation in Leroy's memory to this fund. If I could have his memorial details this would help me. I realize he had a different type of cancer. But I am going to go through a very similar battle. He touched my heart so many times, and I will truly miss him. So if this could be passed to me I would so greatly appreciate it. With love, prayers, and deepest sympathy, Marguerite Sciuk
I am so sad to hear this sad news; My prayers go out for the family and friends. Laurie may God wrap you up in his arms and hold tight you while you go through this grief.
My dad passed away from cancer at the same age as Leroy. This was way before home computers, but my dad, an educator and small-town philanthropist on a person-to-person level, would have been corresponding on the blog if there had been such a thing then. I wish it had been available then. Leroy made a wonderful contribution with this blog; he and my dad would have been friends. Thank you.
Laurie,
This helped me in dealing with my grief:
"Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
It will be a while but deal with it how ever you need too. We all grieve differently, there is no right or wrong way. Just know you are in our thoughts.
Hope that brings some comfort to your breaking heart.
Just when you think you can't bear say good bye to one more friend.....
Hearing of the loss of our friend Leroy, brings up a primal roar, a SCREAM of defiance: NNOOOOOO!!!!!!!
But today, it will be enough to just breathe. Just breathe.
I am so sad.
Debra Altschiller
OMG...I'm so sorry, Laurie.
Please know that Leroy touched us all. His insight, his wit, his honesty and caring created this loving community of people from all over the world. He did more to promote understanding and compassion than many politicians and heads of state - and that's a pretty cool thing to do.
Leroy - Dude - we're gonna miss you! Although I am, as we say in the South, "sniffin' and snottin'" right now, please know that in the not so distant future, copious Mai Tais will be hoisted into the air in your honor! Thank you, Dude, for your blog and the insight you brought to us through it.
I wish us all peace....
Laurie:
Leroy's pain has ended. Your pain and ours will linger for a long time.
He will be missed.
You will be in my prayers.
God Bless you Laurie. As you start your new journey into grief, please know that we are all here holding you up, one moment at a time, the ones who have lost loved ones to the BEAST..
Just remember, one moment at a time right now. We love you. I was widowed due to the beast after 29 years of marriage, on April 15, 2007. Godspeed
Dear Laurie, I cannot imagine how you are feeling.You must take comfort in how much Leroy loved you, and he will always be with you. I am from England and my prayers are with you. Margaret
Laurie and Leroy, you gave us a way forward that is characterized by strength and compassion. I am so deeply sad this morning, my thoughts are with you, Mike
Maeve, Thank you for the update.
Laurie, our hearts are with you as you go forward. I hope you can draw strength from all of us. We all miss Leroy's comments this morning. But I am so glad for him that the pain has stopped even though we all will have a big void.
I wish there was some way we could diminish the pain you must be feeling right now, but know you just have to walk through it. I will keep you in my prayers.
Laurie, whenever you're ready, we'll be here....
I spent the day on the verge of tears. I couldn't speak of Leroy's death without breaking down. Laurie, I am holding you close to my heart. I wish I could be there in person to say a few words to you and give you a hug...
My condolences. Leroy's story was of great value. Too often in society we try to hush up stories of tragedy. It is important that we face and understand these tragedies and live life to its fullest.
I am so sorry to hear that Leroy has passed away. He helped so many people through his blog by getting them to think and talk about cancer. He helped me to understand what my mom went through, especially when the colon cancer returned. After her passing at the end of June, I continued to read Leroy's blog. Sending good thoughts and prayers to Leroy's family. Bless you!
i will miss Leroy. he was the first i read each morning. irt wasn't always easy..but his words and thoughts always hit the spot for the day. my prayers are with you Laurie
Leroy is now at peace and is part of this universe. Laurie, the pain you are feeling will lessen as time goes on and you will remember the happy and healthy Leroy.
I was stunned to hear this morning the Leroy had passed away on Friday. I hope that having Hospice involved helped both of you Laurie. My prayers & hugs are with you all.
Danni
I have read this blog each day since losing my husband to cancer in February of 2007 . . . many times I found myself crying, laughing, but most importantly having the feelings my husband and I felt validated as "normal" . . . he wrote so eloquently of this journey. Although I dreaded losing Leroy, I couldn't not get the blog . . . it became a good part of my grieving process. Laurie . . . both of you have touched many lives by sharing the journey with us. That is what God calls us to do. Being Catholic, let me share that I feel like "I have received Eucharist" from both of you. Being a spouse your words were very meaningful to me. Thanks for touching my life in such a profound way. It is so very true that the greatest blessing in life is sharing the journey with others!
May God's love and peace surround you and all those close to Leroy in the days ahead.
Dear Laurie,
I am so so sorry for your loss. I will miss Leroy so much, both here and on the radio. He was a joy to listen to. Thank you for sharing such a personal journey.
Much Love Diane
I want Laurie to take her time. We will be here in thought and spirit. My friends and I will be having a celebration service for LeRoy and Laurie on our own. The predator did not win as we know LeRoy is still with us giving us our voice and strength to meet this predator head-on. We will miss him.
To the Sievers' family and friends. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know what you are going though, I just lost my partner on July 20th, from cancer, she was 44 years old. In memory of Wanda Mae. God Bless you all.
Thank you Leroy for sharing so much of yourself with the world. I will miss you.
Laurie, I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts.
Tears..........We have lost our best friend........I,personally, have lost my feeling of security......he always gave me so much hope........I miss him so.........
Laurie, Please accept my heartfelt sympathy that your Husband Leroy has passed.
I know the grief that this blog community is feeling, but your enornmous loss and the grief you are feeling is overwhelming.
I wish for you peace, comfort, and strength during this awful and difficult time. Pika
Laurie and Leroy's family and friends - may the love and compassion of your family and friends give you strength and comfort at this time. Leroy has changed the cancer world forever.
Dear Laurie,
I started this comment on Saturday but couldn't find the words. I am a PA in a large cancer center, during the past weeks I saw in Leroy what I see in my patients, that slow physical decline combined with the struggle and peace of the surrender.
I share with my husband and co-workers it is the curse/blessing of the work we do. We see the end coming, in our own way we say goodbye, we feel the loss of our dear patient/friend.
So I sit here crying for such a gifted man, for all the lovely patients I known and lost. I start my day commited to sucking all the joy I possibly can from this day that I have been given and know Leroy is added to that long line of faces and voices that I never forget and plan on meeting again when it is my time.
I have read Leroy's Blog for the past few years and came to tears upon hearing the news. In his sharing of his life, he reminded us all of what it means to be human, to be frail, and yet to live with strength and grace.
Although this is an excerpt from a DC Comic Book, it seems appropriate -
"Death is before me today.
Like the recovery of a sick man,
Like going forth into a garden after sickness.
Death is before me today.
Like the odor of myrrh,
Like sitting under a sail in a good wind.
Death is before me today.
Like the course of a stream
Like the return of a man from the war-galley to his house.
Death is before me today.
Like the home that a man longs to see,
After years spent as a captive."
Leroy will remain in his home within the hearts of all those who appreciate him as a person, and his writing.
Best wishes during this difficult time.
Many tears....I feel as though I've lost my best friend. He was there to give me strength in my own cancer battle. His blog was the very first thing I read when I got to work and turned on my computer. I will miss him very much. My sympathy to Laurie and the Sievers family....THANK YOU Leroy and Laurie for sharing with all of us. We needed Leroy and we will never forget him. I feel very blessed to have known Leroy through this blog.
Leroy will always be a part of my life. I will miss hearing from him terribly.
He is with the angels now...
God bless you Laurie...
love, George
Dear Laurie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. My husband Woody's almost 5 yr cancer journey on July 2nd of this year. Leroy touched many hearts through his NPR essays and this blog. Some days hearing Leroy's essays on NPR were a joy to listen to- his optimism, good humor and courage inspiring. Some days- they were very difficult to hear. Leroy's post about how Laurie has changed - I know those feelings. From the musical "Wicked"- "Because I knew you I have been changed for good." Know you are loved. May God bless you and keep you.
So, now it's our turn... to honor the candor, honesty, tenacity, indomitable spirit for living that you both exemplify. Not to curl away sad that another has passed over, but rather to embrace and enhance what you two gave to The Cancer World. It is the least we can do in recognition of the enduring commitment to humanity, truth and light you both gave us over the course of Leroy's cancer journey. Prayers of healing and peace for all whom Leroy loved, continued strength and grace for this community and deepest gratitude to you, for being all Leroy could ask for along the segment of road he just completed.
Laurie,
May God be with you during this difficult time. I will continue to pray for you. I know Jesus will continue to provide.
Leroy will be missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best to you.
I just read of Leroy's passing this morning. I'm so sadden by the news. I've read his blog for over 2 years and have learned so many life lessons from Leroy and the writings from others. I will be forever grateful to Leroy for this and I will never forget him as long as I live. I've grown to know many of you and wish you all the very best.
Laurie, I'm so very sorry for your loss. Remember Leroy's words: 'No one walks this road alone'. You have many people that are praying for you and wrapping their love and comfort around you during this very difficult time.
I will miss Leroy more than I can express, but I know he's resting now and he's finally at peace. I'll be looking him up one day......
Take care of yourself.
Laurie, we continue to lift you up in prayer and support...during this incredibly difficult time for all of us. It is an unbearable loss to us all.
Dear Laurie:
I have been reading this blog every day, but never wrote in. I'm sure there are many others like me. As a survivor, for now, Leroy's insight and humor touched me deeply. His wit and unflinching look at the hard realities that we face will be missed. Deep condolences.
Dear Laurie,
The first words that come to mind with the news of Leroy's death were that of Raymond Carver. This is the poem he wrote just before he died of cancer.
"And, did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved
To feel myself beloved on earth.
Leroy was beloved.
May we all get what we want from this life...
And, to all of you who have been in Leroy's life-who know the lived world of illness I would like to offer a gift in his honor.
I am the founder of the Center for Communication In Medicine whose mission is to educate patients, families and clinicians about the key role of communication in making informed healthcare decisions and improving quality of care. Our films and guides are supportive tools that offer communication strategies to help both patients find their voice and clinicians better understand the patient's perspective.
What is the gift? For each of you who have been part of Leroy's life I'd like to offer a copy of our film "Voices From the Lived World of Illness: Advanced Cancer," which takes the viewer from the moment of diagnosis through trajectory of illness to end of life.
How do you get it? Contact:
Celia Engel Bandman
c.bandman@communicationinmedicine.org
Thank you for the update, Maeve.
Laurie, please know that you are forefront in our thoughts and prayers. Thinking of you and wishing for you peace.
May Laurie and all of Leroy's loved ones find strength and courage for this passage. I am very sad-for you, for me. I have NHL and this blog (the only one I read) has been most meaningful. Thank you Leroy. Perhaps out of this some good can come: If everyone touched by Cancer would speak out and up, change CAN happen. Why in this country of plenty, must people big and small have to beg and shill for money to address illness and its manifestations, while this administration and its enablers are actively cutting funds for NIH,NCI,Cancer research and Basic Research?? I have been outraged for some time, but now its personal! Peace, Forest Irons. Casper, WY
I'm so sad...I will miss him dearly. I passed a jeep this morning and I know that I will never look at a jeep without thinking of Leroy and the secret handwave. I feel blessed to have known Leroy through his writing...Many hugs to Laurie and family.
Dear Laurie,
My prayers and thoughts are with you and Leroy's family. As a fellow survivor, I've kept up with Leroy's journey and cheered him on his fight through Cancer World. I never posted until today, but did want you to know what Leroy meant to us all.
Love and prayers,
Laurie,
I sit at my desk, reading through many of Leroy's past entries, and silent tears are sliding down my cheeks. My co-workers are conspicously and respectfully avoiding my office, passing the word to each other in undertones, incorrectly thinking I cry for myself (which I am, but not in the way that they think). Later they will approach me, one by one, and ask me if I am "okay". Then I will tell them, we lost a dear friend this weekend and my heart aches. We (those of us who were so fortunate to read Leroy's blog) never met him, yet Leroy's words will stay with us for the rest of our lives; and the painful knowledge that he is no longer with us makes his insight and comments that much more precious and treasured. If it is possible to feel "love by blog", we have received it. Please let the knowledge that Leroy was loved back by so many people, (who he personally helped imeasurably both directly and indirectly), give you comfort now.
Dear Maeve,
Thank you for the update and continued support during this time. I sent an e-mail yesterday to NPR directed to you based on a post from Graham from Sag Harbor.
If possible, a list sent to individuals from the blog, and an option to release e-mail addresses or not. There are some of us that would like to stay in touch and continue supporting each other, whether we are patients or caregivers or by standers. We have grown to rely on each other and now without the leader of our army we need each other more than ever.
Laurie, dear Laurie,
Be patient with yourself at this very very sensitive time. Take care and know you are loved by all here and will not be rushed. We will if allowed hold you up and close as long as you need us.
Dear Laurie -
When you're ready, if you're ready.
I can't imagine how it would feel to get a thousand wishes of condolence in a single weekend. You must be overwhelmed. I am sure you have many friends who are visiting you as well.
Liz L.
Dear Laurie,
I am crying while I write this. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something really potent I could write to help. I hope you are surrounded by love, and I like to think that Leroy is right there with you in spirit. Leroy and his dedication to this blog means so much to me and we are blessed to have folks like you in this world. My prayers are with you.
Beth
I add my sympathy and thanks to so many who were inspired by this blog.
I am so sorry. Leroy helped me so much through the last two years. There are no words that I can say to make it easier....you are in my prayers.
Dear Laurie and friends of Leroy:
As soon as I read the words, they swirled in my tears. I am so deeply sorry for your loss, and although I've never met Leroy, I feel as though I knew him through his writing, his humanity, his strength. He helped me and a lot of people, and for that we can be grateful. Laurie, all I can tell you is that it gets easier with time, and the only way around your grief is through it. I pray for your strength and comfort during this difficult time.
Leroy, God speed, my friend. May God hold you both in the palm of His hand.
I read the following poem at my sister's memorial. May it bring you some comfort:
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
--Tam, in Secaucus
Though my tears keep coming and my heart is broken, Laurie please know that not only is Leroy's spirit holding you up right now, so are our spirits. We are standing beside you, behind you, all around you. Feel him and all of us. You are loved by so many.
Dear, dear Laurie--know that we have not forgotten you, while we grieve for Leroy. You, too, have suffered from this pernicious evil, and now you carry the burden of Leroy's memory. But know that you don't carry it alone. He was a towering, amazing, giving man, and he gave so many of us strength. Please take some comfort from us, and we will try to take some of the pain and burden from you.
My greatest fear is not dying of my cancer, but of having to say goodbye to my husband Tom; I think Leroy was not ready to leave you, Laurie. Good partners are hard to find, and those of us who manage it are truly, truly blessed. In that respect, Leroy was blessed.
Peace
jj
My heartfelt condolences go to Laurie and Leroy's family and friends. Back in March when Leroy's mother died I felt a sense of relief for her; she wouldn't have to endure the loss of her child. I can only imagine Laurie's grief and hope she can find comfort in knowing Leroy's pain is finally over and he has found peace.
For Leroy:
The virtuous man, though he die before his time, will find rest.
Length of days is not what makes age honorable, nor number of years the true measure of life;
Coming to perfection in so short a while, he achieve long life;
His soul being pleasing to the Lord,
He has taken him quickly from the wickedness (pain and suffering of cancer) around him.
(Wisdom 4 vs 7,8,13,14)
Rest in Peace
Good Friend
For Laurie: May you also find Peace. We understand.
Love always,
Nikki
Laurie,
Please accept my condolences for you and your family. The news has left me with a heavy feeling in my chest. I can't explain the peace that this blog has brought to me. I was scared when I found out I had cancer several years ago and felt alone and for the first time in my life could not control my fear. Somehow I found the my cancer blog and felt connected to everyone and Leroys daily writings helped calm my fears. He somehow made an evil thing human and manageable. As I read the email announcing Leroys passing I felt sadness for you and strangely for myself for losing someone whom I have come to care for and count on for strength and information. I am deeply sorry for your loss and I am so thankful for the help Leroy and this blog has given me. I will keep you in my prayers. May God bless you and your family and I know God has blessed Leroy for the strength and calm he has allowed others to have.
Just when the caterpillar thinks his life has ended, the butterfly knows it has just begun. Use your wings now, Leroy.
Know that you will be missed terribly.
I really love seeing the photos of Leroy healthy and doing what he loved- working. Thanks for posting them. I'll miss his posts and those of our family here.
Laurie, Our spirits and souls are with you on the journey before you.Take your time, keep peace in your heart. I just can't believe Leroy is gone, though what he did by sharing his story with us will never be gone. He brought us together in a safe place to share and comfort each other. Thanks dear, be good to yourself. love from sherri in texas, bc dx 4-06
My deepest condoleances. I have been reading for almost two years now and am deeply saddened by your loss. Please post a charity to which a gift may be made in Leroy's memory.
I hsve been afraid of this day since I started reading and occasionally commenting. I am so sorry for your loss and you are in our prayers Laurie. That seems so trite but it's true.
Laurie, you are in the hearts and prayers of each of us. You and Leroy were an inspiration to so many, myself included. I went to the blog each weekday. Leroy taught me that it was alright to feel the things that cancer brings upon a family. We are still walking our path, much stronger due to you and Leroy. You both will always be in my heart.
All I wanted to say was is GOD BLESS YOU aAND YOUR FAMILY!
Laurie,
And now, in the flurry of activities to come, time stands still.
Having lost my wife to cancer, one would think that I'd have some enlightening words to get you through this period. I don't. I just have the observation that time passes and one day you're able to breathe a little easier. It's slow, at times unbearable, but it is a healing process and you will, of course, endure. I do not know you, but I send you all my love.
Can't say enough how sad and sorry I am. And tired of this disease putting us in this horrible position. And furiously angry. All I can think of are "F" words. And scared for when my time comes. And happy that he is at peace. And sad again.
Take you time Laurie. You do what would make Leroy proud - you take care of yourself.
A mighty warrior slips from us. The troops gather round in grief and support.
May God Bless and Keep You, Leroy.
May God Comfort and Give You Strength,
Laurie.
Margaret
Family Sievers,
My deepest sympathy.
Colorado Cupcake
This is my first comment, but I have been reading Leroy's blog for over a year now. I found it shortly after I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. His blog was the first thing I read most mornings. Leroy is a huge inspiration to me. That inspiration will live on. I will miss him. I am so sorry for your loss, Laurie.
Yes, I, as other readers, am praying that Laurie will feel inspired to continue Leroy's work with the blog and his connection with all of us. Just as 'My cancer' provided a 'refuge' for those of us who have been touched by cancer in some way (and who hasn't been, really?), now we need a new refuge for dealing with the death of a loved one from cancer - our beloved Leroy. Somehow, I think the return support for Laurie will help her as she walks through this new journey - but not alone - as we are all with her. Teri LM
Dear Laurie
Leroy had such a life force that he generously offered to us everyday to help ease our burden. I will always remember him and the comfort he provided to me in my struggle.
Peace be with you and wherever you go for strength may it sustain you during this difficult time.
Dear Laurie & Family-
I am so very sorry and more sorry that my words seem so inadaquate. You all are very brave and your shareing has helped so many be brave too.
Thank you and continue to be brave, no one is alone in this.
Laurie,
I've been a follower of the blog ever since I first heard Leroy's voice on NPR talking about starting the blog. I read it practically every day for not only the subject matter (I am a cancer survivor), but for the familiarity of Leroy's humorous and down-to-earth voice that brought out the reality of the fight against cancer. I am so glad he decided to start this blog, and so thankful to have shared a bit of the journey with you both.
Take care.
We have lost a journalist of extraordinary talents, courage and integrity and a wonderful friend. Our prayers are with you, Laurie, who so faithfully walked Leroy home.
I had the privilege of working with Leroy on some programs during our time at the Discovery Channel. Leroy was funny, intelligent, collaborative and down to earth. I knew of his ongoing battle and he knew of my father's fight and my care of him. Yet, we both put our mind toward work and the joyous things in life and fixated on life--not illness. Like comparing "war stories" in television, ways to keep sane during the 15 straight hours in an edit suite, etc. Although our interaction was brief, I felt honored to have worked with him. My heart goes out to his family, friends and everyone else who was moved by Leroy.
My heart is breaking Laurie for you and for all of us who loved Leroy and felt as if we knew him personally thru this blog. He will be so missed that it's even hard to comprehend at this moment. My sincere condolences go out to you Laurie and all of Leroy's family and close friend. Prayers of strength are being prayed at this moment. Who did not end up a better person for having known Leroy? He just helped so many of us with this blog that I can't even find the words to express myself. He will be missed like no other. I just thank G*d that his suffering has ended.
We have lost a true friend, leader and spokesperson for all of us in "cancer world". Leroy expressed emotions and thoughts that many of us think and feel but are unable to convey to many of our friends and/or family. If only everyone could of read Leroy's blog to better understand those of us attacked by the beast. He made us think, laugh, cry, and rally when the battle intensified. Thank you Leroy - I'm hoping you're enjoying that cool ocean breeze and a strong mai tai.
Laurie - my thoughts and prayers for continued strength. How wonderful and loving a partner and caregiver. I am hoping you continue this blog to express the caregiver perspective about the "cancer world". Stay well and safe!
Leroy was an "every" man and his life will make us all better "every" people. Thanks, Leroy.
I am sorry for your loss. I read Mr. Sievers' page every day. He will be greatly missed by all.
Goodbye Leroy
I will miss you.
For the past two years or so, I've started my day with Leroy. Today I'm at a loss...hard to imagine this ritual I've enjoyed and the journey we've all shared must end. I'll miss the My Cancer post in my e-mail inbox and the warmth, humanity, and insight I gained each day.
Luckily, my enduring image of our friend will be of him curled up in bed with his dear Spanky by his side. For those of you who know the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, you'll understand that Spanky is as real as they come, just as Leroy has been a real friend to us all, even though many of us never met him in person.
Peace to Laurie and all of Leroy's online family,
Lucy
There are not more appointments, medicine cycles, therapy schedules...
No more must dos....
No more painful tasks...
For Laurie, for so many of us who are the 'left behinds' - it is the million empty moments that confront us
on hour 1,
day 2,
week 4
moment 4,597 without our beloveds
...that leaves us panicked, helpless, and empty.
I pray that she and each of us find comfort in the pain of having loved so much.
In her own time -- I hope she finds comfort in speaking to us.
Thanks, Maeve, for keeping in touch. I've been crying through all the news reports and newspaper articles. Hugs to you all and to all of us, too
my heart goes out to you and to all of leroy's family and friends. The man was a hero for me and has made it process, thru his writtings to deal with living with my own terminal colon cancer. I know he's in a better place, but I already miss him.
I now help out at a cancer support forum coloncancersupport.com. I try and remember the lessons he taught me about facing this with honesty and grace, but still living a full life as best you can with the time you have left in my posts to help out others.
I hope that is what he would have wanted.
There's a hollow in the world today, the image of the helping hand--during riots in Haiti-- whisked away..Leroy's.
We will never forget you.
Laurie, peace and prayers to you. I am so sad. With care...
Laurie,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know we are here holding you up in your grief.
Laurie, as you can see, we were all touched in some way by Leroy. And we will all miss his "voice" which became ours. My heart goes out to you. I will miss Leroy greatly, his was my first stop every morning. Please find peace and strength in the pleasure of knowing he gave so many of us laughter and tears. Here's the "secret wave" Leroy, Goodbye.
When the news reached via the wonders of the blog, I was speechless. It was Leroy who put words to my feelings day after day. What an amazing person he was.
For you, Laurie, the grief must be of a great depth. Having lost my 48 year old husband to brain cancer 25 years ago, it took 18 years for me to peel back to bottom of my grief. I compare it to peeling back the layer of an onion. Give yourself all the time it takes you on your schedule, not based on someone else's perception of where you should be in that process. All of us with cancer had found a soul mate in Leroy. I hope you also have a soulmate.
I am so sorry. I don't have cancer and I don't know Leroy personally but I feel the loss. I have read his entries regularly for a very long time and I recently began praying for him after each post. I will continue to keep his family and friends in my prayers, that they might find a peace beyond understanding.
I lost three members of my family to cancer. Leroy helped me understand what they wouldn't or couldn't say during their passage. Thank you for your strength Laurie and sharing Leroy with us.
My brother's wife Lisa found much strength, insight, and support being part of this community. All of her people read Leroy every day to help us all keep in touch with this thing called cancerworld. Lisa and Leroy had the same cancer and the same prognosis. Lisa was made stronger by Leroy's fight. She has written in several times. Her battle with Stage 4 colon cancer began August of 2005 and ended last night. She wanted to make one more post. I hope she and Leroy talked as they passed each other this weekend. Two fabulous spirits.
Thank you for sending this update. Laurie, you do relize what strength you gave to Leroy and to all of us. I know God will continue to give you strength in the coming days. It was very sad to get up this morning and not start my day with you and Leroy. I miss you guys!!
Laurie,
My deepest sympathy for you loss. He will truly be missed. I have read his blog everyday, without fail. He has truly helped me with some difficult times. I lost my sister, age 48 to ovarian cancer on June 3rd. If you would allow me I would like to share some of her eulogy I wrote which I think also applies to Leroy.
Helen,
As I sit here tonight watching you fight for you life with great dignity, I only find it fitting to write an eulogy in your honour. I am sure everyone here does not have to be told how special you were, and how many lives you touched.
Since you were diagnosed with this terrible disease three years ago, you took every operation, chemo treatment and every needle with a smile and the outmose of courage. Your brusied, scarred and swollen body like a soldier going thru war, hoping to win the final battle. In the end when you lost the battle you stood high with your head up in the air trying your best to ward of any shots that were aimed at you with all the ammunition you had. All the while saying your famous words "Thats alright, what can you do." So rest in peace dear sweet Helen (and Leroy), the battle is over and you both won a very special place with God.
May you both rest in peace.
Linda - Montreal, Canada
Dear Laurie-
I hope you feel surrounded by support. Please know in your heart that the people who have been here with you are STILL here. I am saddened by the loss of Leroy, and grateful that he chose to stay with us as long as he could. We have gained precious wisdom from you both and I pray that will ease your pain somehow. Peace to you.
Thank you Maeve for the update. Today there is a peice of sunshine missing, there is one less bird singing and our hearts are heavy. Leroy, you are gone from us but you will never be forgotten. Your works are a legacy. Laurie you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Thanks, Maeve, for updating us.
Laurie, you're probably a bit numbed and dazed right now; I know I was when my husband died. It's a good thing--it will get you through the next few days.
Leroy helped me work through not only my grief, but also helped me understand what Pat went through. Pat wasn't a talker; I respected that but it left me not knowing if I had done all the things I could to help him. Leroy's sharing let me put my mind to rest--just being there through the tests, procedures, dr. appointments--just being there with love was enough.
A good friend found this old Irish poem and had it displayed for Pat:
Remembered Joy
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!
I follow the plan God laid for me.
I saw His face, I heard His call,
I took His hand and left it all...
I could not stay another day,
To love, to laugh, to work or play;
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
And if my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss...
Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
My life's been full, I've savored much:
Good times, good friends, a loved-one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all to brief--
Don't shorten yours with undue grief.
Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,
Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.
Don't worry, Laurie, we'll be here when you need us.
God bless.
Thank you for the update.
This morning I passed by the room that holds my computer with my head down and a heavy heart. For over 2 years, since shortly after my diagnosis with stage III breast cancer in Dec. 2005, checking on what Leroy has to say has even taken priority over morning coffee. And now -- a big hole in my heart.I went into the kitchen, kissed my husband goodbye as he left for work on his bike, picked up the newspaper. And then five minutes later, my husband came rushing back in, a look of excitement in his eyes. He slipped one earphone from his MP3 player into my ear -- and I heard Leroy's voice!
It was wonderful. So -- my fellow bloggers -- get yourselves over to the main page of NPR and hear Leroy "in his own words" -- excerpts from talks he gave about "My Cancer" over the past couple of years.I particularly love the last one, where he talkes about learning that we are not alone -- we all are in this together.
Laurie,
I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Leroy is a true hero in the battle against Cancer. Know that you are lifted in prayer and that a stream of thoughts of comfort are sent to you.
He was a remarkable man, he touched so many with his blog. He let the world know of his fear,his courage too. The world responded with compassion and understanding. He was a special human being.
Larry DiBona
I have followed Leroy and Laurie's courageous battle since December 2006. That was when my husband was diagnosed. This blog has been so inspiring, comforting, and lent me a community where I felt at home. My tears, thoughts and prayers go out to you Laurie. I lost my husband 6 months ago. Riding the river of grief is not easy, but six months out, I look back and see it can be done. Fondly,
This morning I was shocked and saddened to read Leroy had passed away last Saturday. Reading his blog was a big part of my day. My sincere sympathy to Laurie and others who were blessed to know Leroy. God bless you during this difficult time.
Love and Peace,
Carol from Minnesota
Laurie,
I have followed your family's journey through Leroy's blog and was deeply touched by his generosity and honesty in sharing his illness with the world.
God Bless you and your family. Strength and peace in this difficult time.
I feel so empty and lost this morning. I just want to send my love to Laurie and my dear friends in this community who help me realize that I am not alone.
What a precious gift Leroy gave us.
Dear Laurie
I want you to know how sorry I was to learn of Leroy's death. I have read his blog every day for more than a year, and feel that I have lost a friend. He was so intelligent, so insightful, so compassionate, so generous in sharing his experiences.
I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that his work has really made a difference in the countless others.
My sincerest condolences.
Jane from Ohio
Dear Laurie,
My heart goes out to you. I feel I've lost a very dear friend. As a "lifegiver" this blog has been an enormous support. What a wonderful gift
he gave us all; the monster will never have the power of silence again. THANKYOU Laurie for sharing him with us.
I'll continue to keep you and Leroy in my prayers. Love, Hugs, and blessings to you. Kathy
Leroy, Laurie and all the friends and family here are in my thoughts and prayers. We will miss him.
This is my first time posting, but I have been following Leroy's blog and faithfully reading his everyday entries. I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my twin sister yesterday from the same disease as Leroy's and it comforts me to know that my twin...Lisa and Leroy...are in the arms of God and very much at peace. The challenging days are yet to come. Laurie....find comfort through family...friends...and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. I know what you are going through. Be strong.
Gods Peace,
Leslie
Laurie,
I will always remember Leroy as a great boss and mentor. He made my internship at Nightline very memorable. Though it was five years ago I still remember his laugh and the gnomes.
Lean on friends and family and they will get you through his horrible time. There are many stages of grieving and this family online will help you if you need it. It has helped me.
All my love,
Jennifer Campbell
Laurie, there are no words, only prayers
please add mine. I don't know what else I can say. I am holding you in my heart, where God is taking care of you. I wish you peace, strength and love,
I've been watching here from the sidelines ever since I caught Leroy on Ted Koppel's special last year and now am compelled to add my two cents' worth. On that show, there was just something about him that made you want to watch--what a PRESENCE! He was bigger than life, and I can only imagine how much all of you made him smile and eased his and Laurie's pain. I haven't had cancer touch my life too much yet (my husband is now six years bladder cancer "free" (KNOCK ON WOOD)) but I can only hope if and when it gets me solidly in its grips that I'll be able to reach out to people like all of you. Laurie (and isn't it funny how I feel like I really KNOW you and knew Leroy?!?), please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss, and I wish you much peace in the days ahead. Leroy is now out of pain and you're left to carry on (it s*cks to be the survivor). I hope you will continue to seek comfort from family, friends and these people online who care so much for both of you.
A sincere thank you to Laurie, for considering to update us, at a most difficult time. While you may expect a loss, it is never easy when it comes.
Please feel our love and support.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose
May The Grace Of God Be With You.
Of course, Laurie. When you are ready. It is so terribly hard to lose a loved one. He is with you always, as you know.
Thank you all (especially to Leroy) for the committment made to this blog. I discovered it shortly after Leroy had made it through year 2, and he marveled at the unlikely length of his reprieve. I continued to read daily of his ups and downs. Reading his thoughts (I realize now), has helped me process the death of my mother, who kept her illness undiagnosed and private til the end. It somehow deprived me of being able to feel a participant in that part of her life. So now that Leroy joins her and others beyond this world, in some small way I feel closer to her as well.
In contrast, my brother's life was taken instantly last year by a motorcyclist as he was riding his bicycle. No preparation, or chance to to mend broken fences. It feels pretty unfair, either way.
I hope that you, Laurie, have found comfort in the process you and Leroy went through so publicly over these last years. I hope you find peace, love and laughter again. I feel like Leroy wished that for you all along.
Elizabeth
I, too, came back here this morning, unable to stay away after months of starting my day with Leroy, and Leroy's Army. Partly I wanted to see if Joyce from Florida had checked in, (Dude will be missed won't he?) and whether Graham from Sag Harbor had posted yet. It's funny how we form community even without having met.
Now, with more time, I can go back and read some of Leroy's old posts . . . I presume NPR will leave them up?
I have been in Seattle, and the water of the sound has been a blessing. I walk in the water each day, pick up seashells and discard them . . . thinking once again . . .How brief is life, and how precious.
Peggy C.
I will miss Leroy, too. He was a very special person. I am particularly impressed that he lived life on his own terms without giving in to cancer.
Hello everyone, I was fairly brave yesterday when I first heard the news, but today, it has finally hit home. No more words from Leroy? His big heart and eloquent voice stilled forever? It's almost too much to bear, and I never even met the man. I can't even imagine what those who knew him personally and loved him are feeling. I only know that my prayers are with you. Leroy's cancer, and my mother's cancer have run parallel lines. However, today, he is gone - so unfairly, and she is doing very well, right now. His passing only makes me appreciate her more. I don't think Leroy would begrudge me that. I think he would say to hold her, love her and spend as much time with her as I possibly can, which I intend to do. Still Leroy, I, like many others will never forget you. I'll never pass a Jeep without thinking of you, or hear of a journalist in a war zone without thinking of Leroy. I'll never see Dirty Dancing, or Braveheart, never see the graphic for "Nightline" or think of Ted Koppel without thinking of Leroy. At Halloween, I'll remember his annual Halloween party, and at Christmas, I'll remember how he loved all the tacky lights and decorations. I'll never eat another birthday cake without remembering how much he loved that goopy icing. I could go on and on, but I must leave room for others. I will miss you Leroy. This blog was my first stop everyday when I logged on my computer, and it's a hard habit to break. Laurie, my heart goes out to you. You also are loved. God Bless You.
Deepest condolences for this profound loss of the man with the huge heart.... Thank you Leroy. Thank you Laurie.
Dear Laurie,
My heart is broken. I want you to know how much Leroy and you have given to us and how we will miss his wisdom, humor and strenghth. I pray for you and hope you find comfort in the days ahead. We love you both, nancy
So many others have expressed my exact feelings about Leroy & this blog. I seldom posted but as a colon cancer survivor (so far!) I took great comfort from this blog & most of all, from Leroy's courage & honesty. I am proud to have been a foot soldier in Leroy's Army. Godspeed, my friend.
Laurie--My heartfelt wishes go out to you today in your sorrow. I hope there is a small piece of joy as well knowing Leroy is free. Thank you for sharing Leroy with all of us.
For about two years I started my day by reading Leroy's blog. I cannot believe that Leroy is gone, and I will never read his new posts anymore.
I will always miss Leroy. My deep condolences to family and friends
Thank you for the update, thank you for letting us know about Laurie. My day often begins by spending time at Leroy's blog. I'm not going to lie, I'm going to miss that time. Laurie honey, our hearts reach out to you. We will wait for your time to write to us. You take whatever time you need. We love you.
Robert
Dearest Laurie,
We're all still here, every day, with great love and sorrow, and offering you whatever comfort we might in our remembrances of your beloved and "our friend", Leroy.
Dearest Leroy,
We're all still here ... With tears and sorrow, and wishes for all the wonders and mysteries and goodness and mercy, and LOVE, to accompany you and Laurie forevermore.
Oh, how we do miss you so!
Always,
Kim Forester
We miss Leroy and we love Laurie.. But I STILL feel him.. He said he would be back today and I still feel his spirit watching to see how we are going to accept this.. And guiding us through our bad days.. and loving Laurie... Always....
Thank you, Leroy. Thank you, Laurie. Peace be with you.
I posted on Saturday after I gasped out loud as I read the news. I said that for once, I was left speechless and just left my love...
Well, I thought, this weekend, what was I doing on Friday night when Leroy passed? It was a full moon and lunar eclipse.
I had decided to go out.Since I am NED with my stage IV melanoma, it occurred to me that I need to try to live more fully while this respite lasts. Not being a drinker, I rarely go out in this "bar town".
Well, I went to a coffee shop and ran into old friends outside, got to have a ride on a Harley and went dancing . Met some new folks and danced a lot. Took lots of great breaks to sit outside and talk and look at the moon. I had a great time.
I cry as I read others' comments.
Cancer changes everything and it is ugly and survivor's pain must be unbearable. How ironic that cancer is what brought us all together to share our stories and sorrows and strength.
Thanks, Laurie for helping him make this possible.I can not imagine your pain. Take all the time you need to post again and the journey of grief may be much more private than the cancer journey. Feel free to end this blog or continue it. We support you.
" There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone."
-Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia
...I feel sure Leroy got to take that path, lit by the full moon, pain free at last,surrounded by the warmth of all the love from those many lives he touched and helped. Though that path was for his steps alone, he carried the light of everyone's love with him and he is free from cancer and we will miss him.
I will miss that ray of hope, chuckle or feeling of compassion I began my days with. His absence leaves a big gap, but we are all better and more supported for having been able to share his journey.
Dear Laurie, It has been an honor to know you and Leroy through this blog. You have touched so many lives so wonderfully. My deepest sympathy to you, your family and friends. Something I found that gave me comfort in times like this is from C.S. Lewis (I paraphrase): "The pain now is from the happiness then." The other item that helped me was from hospice: "I am standing on the seashore. A ship spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching her until she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says, 'she is gone.' Gone where? The loss of sight is in me, not in her. Just at the moment when someone says 'she is gone,' there are others who are watching her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout, 'Here she comes,' and that is dying."
~ Henry Scott Holland
I wish you comfort in the coming days and wish I could comfort you.
laurie: take your time... do not feel that you have to say anything anytime soon.... if you want,,,, your army will be here...
i am sending you a huge virtual hug.. .my heart aches for and with you
Hope you find peace in this challenging situation.
There is a giant hole in the world right now..a hole where a strong, caring wonderful man once lived. There is a hole in our lives right now, where our brother Leroy once lived..there is a break in our hearts where our brother will always live.
Peace to you brother..and love to you Laurie. Thank you for sharing Leroy with all of us.
Liz Z
Dear Laurie and Family,I am so sorry to read this news we are all with you in heart and spirit Laurie.
My heart goes out to you. We will miss Leroy so much and this world that he has created for all of us. I hope and pray somehow we will be able to keep Leroy and you Laurie in our lives through this blog. Leroy left us with many words of wisdom and sage advice along with ways to overcome days that are just to long.
My heart aches for you Laurie. Take care
~ Love&Peace~ Lynda
My husband and I heard the news this morning and both said "Oh, no!" at the same time.
Leroy's blog has been so insightful and well-done. Thank you to him, Laurie for her contributions, and NPR.
Best wishes and condolences to Laurie and their children.
Your words touched us all and helped many....may God bless you and your family.
Dear Laurie,
I am so sorry for your loss - it is our loss too. We will miss him. I already do. My thoughts and prayers are with you
What a wonderful life he has had. If all could be so lucky. Still, we have to get rid of this disease. It's becoming a pandemic.
As I look at some of the announcements of Leroy's death, I am struck by the phrase "Leroy Sievers Lost Battle with Colon Cancer," "Leroy Sievers Loses Battle with Cancer" etc. I am sure that he, and all of us, would disagree. He fought this battle with grace, candor, and an openness to his experience that we have all been touched by. He did not fail in his fight. We are the ones who have lost something, not Leroy.
Dearest Laurie,
I am deeply saddened by your great loss and the loss to so many of us. I take comfort from the belief that some Native Americans have. They believe that we are first born as stars in heaven and then we come down to earth for a short time. When we leave this earth we again become stars. Sirius, the dog star, is the brightest star in the night sky. Leroy wanted a dog and I believe that Leroy is up there very close to Sirius. He was the light in the dark for so many of us. Now his star is shining so brightly for everyone to see.
I know that you will find the strength that you need to take of yourself from the love and caring of family and friends and knowing that Leroy is finally at peace.
Love,
Sonya
Thank you, Leroy. Thank you, Laurie. I have no words to add to the thousands already contributed. I am so sorry and send my deepest condolences. I will miss Leroy's honesty, wisdom, and wit. I woke up to his voice today on NPR and spent most of the morning reading all the entries - he has touched us all.
I was sitting here at lunch to day having a philley cheese steak sandwich. It struck me thinking about him was that I don't beleive he failed in his fight.
Cancer to me as a long time survivor has always been a win win situation. If we don't make it cancer free here. We move to the next world free of it. Knowing that gives me great comfort.
This the first blog I ever read that was gave real true thoughts about how cancer really is. For those of us who are patients and caregivers. I have been both,it gave me great peace to know that Leroy felt as I did and so did so many others. Laurie as were yours. For that gift I will always be grateful.
My prayers are with you Laurie ,your family and friends as well.
I never met Leroy face to face but I feel the loss of a friend as many do here.Even when I did not post I read daily. His grace candor and honesty about this disease and how it really is.
It amazed me daily...a quiet kind of support I needed for sometime. So I thank you for that.
I will miss him thats forsure. But will care his lessons with me for a life time. To me thats a Impact that he made on many.
Blessings and Prayers. When your up to writing will be fine. Please be kind to you.
Laurie, the words "I'm sorry" just aren't enough, I know. I have read this blog daily for months now, and I will surely miss 'hearing' Leroy's voice. Take care,
Kristen
Dear Laurie - saying I am sorry seems so inadequate. Thank you for sharing this wonderful man with us. When I heard the news this morning I stopped everything and just cried. As many of the posts have said, we have all lost a friend. But I know he is looking down on all of us, only now he is not in pain. He will always look out for you - you will sense his presence in your life in a million ways. Talk to him - he will listen. God bless.
Laurie,
Take your time no need to post until you feel able and time permits. Lots of friends here to read their love to you and Leroy. We are grateful to you...the strong 'wall' that held Leroy up (not that he couldn't hold his own but you know what I mean). We have gotten to know you both; the team that you were. If no one has told you that they love you today: I love you, Laurie. You are loved by others, I'm sure, but remember there is a bottomless well of love reaching out to you, here, across the mysterious chasm of cyberspace. And because of the circumstances, the suffering we have all gone through because cancer has marked our lives too - our love is the closest thing to unconditional, Agape love you will find. We make no judgements, preconditions, requirements. We don't even require a response. Just know that you WILL feel the healing love we all send you even if you never communicate with us again. I am grateful for all that you did for Leroy, the unconditional love you gave him came through to us - in spades. Thank you. As always, Graham from Sag Harbor.
Peggy C. I Blogged twice already in the huge (1,000 plus and counting Blog).
Laurie may you find comfort knowing LeRoy and yourself touched many.
You both have been a light for those of us that have been touched by the darkness cancer may bring.
May God provide you comfort during this difficult days.
Love will always conquer all!
I heard Leory's voice this morning on NPR it was sureal and comforting, most of all his words that we are not alone in this journey, and best of all he said" when I am gone I hope my freinds will get drunk remembering me and laughing at me".This is just like Leroy an great human being! Thanks you for sharing.
Peace be with you Laurie.
Marelly
I am so very sorry. You and LeRoy have given so much love and insight to all of us here on this site. I hope you can feel the love we have for both of you.
Thanks for updating us. We'll be here when you're ready. In the meantime, find comfort wherever you can find it. Take one step at a time, one day at a time.
Thinking of you and all your loved ones.
heart...breaks...
I'm so sorry.
I dreaded this day. I knew it would come. Now...it's here.
Laurie
We are so very sorry.
Please accept our gratitude as you continue to help me prepare......as we continue on our journey........
What an amazing gift Leroy gave us through stories of his dealing with cancer. He is a treasure that will always inspire us and not be forgotten. The subjects he addressed so openly and well - and often with great humor - were our own issues, but he put them out there for all to see and hear. Sort of objectified them for us.
He went before us kind of laying out an emotional map that was so helpful, even in practical ways.
I was gone for two weeks and have just come back to this news and am very sad for the loss of this rich, rich life.
It does make me angry that the current administration has cut back funds for cancer research and trials so we can fund an irresponsible and horrible war.
We can't presume to know you Laurie, but we all know of loss - and hope you can feel our very warmest wishes for your journey.
Love, Nancy O
I want you know your husband was an inspiration and courageous support to us all who have survived cancer of our beloved friends and family. Know that our hearts are with you and your family.
Laurie,
A friend introduced me to Leroy's blog and I've been following it for the past year. My heartfelt sympathy to you and yours.
Dear Laurie,
I lost my best friend to cancer over a year ago and it still hurts. Terry died after a four and half year fight. She was told she had six months to live. I watched her go forward with a rock solid faith. However, I never really understood some of the things she was feeling until I read Leroy's blog.
My prayers will be with you as you start the journey of grief. Remember it is work and takes a long time to heal. Tears and journaling have helped me most
to start to heal from the loss of Terry.
A new star shines brightly in the heavens...our loss, but heaven's gain. Leroy taught all of us very valuable life lessons. This blog was about so much more than cancer; it dealt with the human condition, and bound us to each other. Thank you so much for enriching our lives.
With eloquent grace and dignity Leroy became a voice to the world for all of us in the cancer family. We owe him such a debt of gratitude for providing us with this forum and encouraging our bravery through his own tireless examples. His blog was cherished by more than I'm sure even Leroy could have imagined and he will be missed dearly. I was the caregiver for my husband as he fought his brave battle with head and neck cancer, going from a prognosis of 6 months to live to a declaration of cured 6 years later. Then it was my turn to begin my own battle 2.5 years ago when diagnosed with Stage IV BC. Lou Mayers, our friend of nearly 50 years and also a regular reader, would often share e-mails with me on the mornings when one of Leroy's messages had special meaning for us. Lou lost his brave battle with pancreatic cancer in December, 2007 and we miss him dearly. In the cancer world I have been caregiver, patient, friend, and blog-family member. I pray that Leroy's incredible blog was heard as a collective scream to our medical scientists and caregivers and that our children and grandchildren can one day live without this beast.
Thank you, Leroy and Laurie. You have made an enormous difference in so many lives, and I can't help but believe, Leroy, that you will be doing some talking to the powers that be up there.
I'll rev the Jeep engine for you for as long as I can. We will miss you, dear cyber-friend.
I came today to get my "Leroy" fix and read the heartbreaking news. I always thought of Leroy as a big teddy bear and his blog was a hearty hug to the soul. I shall miss him and pray for him. And all I can think of is Taps for a soldier in a battle well fought.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the hills, from the lake, from the sky
All is well, safely rest;
God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear,
Friend, goodnight.
Dear cyber friends-
Like many of you, I routinely shared my first coffee of the day with Leroy. I didn't look at my e-mails first, and I used to get worried if the posting wasn't up by the usual time.
Last May I tearfully explained to my two young daughters that though their grandmother had died from cancer, she was alive within us, in our memories and hearts. And thats what I believe about Leroy: he is alive in hearts and minds all over America and beyond.
Dear Laurie,
I haeve lost a friend and partner. I am a hospital chaplain and have talked ahout Leon and quoted from his blog, or printed out his entries for patients. Please know that Leon's legacy and spirit are intact, permanent, and will continue to illuminate for many years to come.
Maeve,
Thank you for updating us.
Laurie,
You will get through this because you have no other choice. Thank you for sharing him with all of us each day.
Jane
I cried. I cried hard this morning when I heard the news. And I cry as I write this. I didn't know anything about Leroy, except that he had cancer and talked about it, out loud to the world. And to me. I am not sure what it was he said, more than the way he said it. I am so so very sorry for your loss. May you find strength in his passing. I feel like I knew Leroy, I have never felt this sad for a stranger in my life. He touched my heart. And I thank him for that. Take care.
The world is a lesser place without you in it, Leroy. You, and the contributors to this group because of your inspiration, have made my personal journey with cancer much more understandable, and much less foreboding. I thank you for all you've given me these last many months since I've made your acquaintance..
We'll be here waiting for you Laurie. Take your time. I'm going back to the first blog entry and reading every entry again. It feels as if I'm reading a book written by a personal friend.
Laurie,
I wish you strength during this very tough time. Leroy provided me hope over the last 18 months to deal with my cancer. I will continue to fight this awful disease and I will try to spread hope just as Leroy did. I will do this in honor of Leroy - a man I never met but came to know.
What a lonely day without Leroy's words. Thinking of you Laurie.
You have my sympathies on the loss of Leroy, but my congratulations on being part of a wonderful life. I was an ICU nurse for 20+ years and I truly appreciate Leroy's and your honesty and realistic view of life and death. It is an awesome gift. Thank you so much for everything and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Maeve, Thank you for keeping us updated. I heard Ted Koppel sharing reminiscences about Leroy on Talk of the Nation today and it did my heart good. We who were regular readers here knew him in Cancer World but it was good to hear a friend discuss his whole life. Thank you Ted (if you are reading here).
Laurie, whenever you are ready to post here, you'll post to hundreds and hundreds of receptive hearts. But take your time and do not feel pressure about this. All my warmest thoughtds are with you in your time of loss.
Like many others, I am having a hard time coming to grips with the reality of never hearing from him again on this blog. Yes, it became a safe place for me in my own cancer experience and felt like a community, but it was Leroy's presence we clung to. I will miss his words here for a long time.
I read the news today with such sadness. Leroy was taken too young, but he did so much to help all of us who have been touched by cancer. My Jim died 4 years ago of colon cancer. I read leroy's blog everyday to help me understand what Jim went through but couldn't put into words.Time is the only healer of grief.Take time to remember the good times, weep, ask why and don't be concerned if you can't believe he is gone. It took me months to accept that. You are in my prayers.
I never had the guts to post before... and now that Leroy is gone, it seems a little too late. Maybe not though. I felt like a spy or an outsider reading his blogs. I don't have cancer, but it has forced it's ugly existance into many of my family members bodies. After taking my aunt and haunting my grandmother three times now, it's finally gotten a hold of my dad. I'm scared and I know I'm not the only who has felt this way. Leroy helped me through some very difficult times and I hope he knew that. He helped strangers by telling his story and his thoughts and I can not thank him enough. We have lost a friend and I know that he will always be remembered. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You will be missed my friend.
~Peace and Love~
Laurie, It has taken two days to find the word to express my deep sorrow. Even now they do not come easily nor will they convey how incredibly sorry I am for Leroy's passing. It is amazing how over the course of two and a half years this big insightful man of yours first became our friend and then family. And how during this period of time he was our touchstone and then our heartstrings to a journey that connects us all. After reading the news from NPR on Saturday morning I stood at the window and looked out over our beautiful lake below and cried. I cried for us all. What a deep sense of loss. Through my tears I was indeed grateful for his release from the pain and suffering. Now our hearts are focused on you Laurie. We here in Leroy's army feel your pain. We know what it is like to lose a loved one. So as you put one foot in front of another these next few weeks please know that there are hundreds if not thousands of us who send you love and support. Know that at any minute, from every state in the union and many countries abroad there are friends thinking of you, sending you comfort and love.I will sorely miss your Leroy but he is in my heart for keeps.
"I wish you enough"
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final goodbye.
Laurie, thinking of you -
I cried when I read the news about a man I've only known through his daily thoughts on life and cancer and life with cancer. May peace and strength be with all who knew and loved Leroy and will miss him dearly.
I look as we humans as God's flowers. And when his flowers start to wilt and die he picks it and adds it to the boquet he is making. He picked Leroy and now he has added another beautiful fragrant flower to to it. Now that woderful sweet kind person we knew and loved as Leroy will now live forever in "God's Boquet". My prayers are with you Laurie as you now travel through this horrible journey called grief, please know that you will never be alone. You and Leroy has made a wonderful cyber family whom he gave strength ,wisdom, and courage to. We are with you and so is the Wnderful Comforter God has given all of us. We will miss him but I will always be able to look in my heart and "smell his wonderful fragrance.
I will miss you Leroy. I wish I'd known you personally. You helped me to gather the strength I've needed to deal with my own fight. Your courage will live on in all the memories we all have of you.
I wish to send my sympathy to all Leroy's friends and family. You've lost a special man. I hope it's a comfort to you to know how much he's given to all of us.
Thank you.
Laurie - take your time.
Laurie, I pray for you every night to find strength during this very sad time.
Laurie
You and Leroy lifted US all the readers for so long and so many days.....Reading the blog has uplifted and inspired me so many days when I was having a bad day or just an average day.
Thanks for all your loving care and support. Let your family and friends "lift" you some too. Know that you are receiving many prayers and loving thoughts during this rough patch.
God bless you, provide you strength and bring you peace.
I hope he knew how much strength he gave to cancer patients. He made us laugh, he made us cry. How cruel the beast is, and how elegantly he rose above it. Prayers coming your way....
Dear Laurie,
I want you to know how much Leroy meant to me and my family. On April 28, 2007, my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. We were shocked that his body had betrayed him after a lifetime of healthy living. We "met" Leroy on the show "Living with Cancer" and he became our role model for how to deal with cancer. My husband's cancer was far more aggressive than we realized and in 6 months he was gone. Leroy remained in our hearts and his daily blogs gave us a reason to cheer and to hope.
We loved Leroy and are sorry for your loss.
Judy, Leslie and Adrian Pollner
Dear Laurie,
One thing that I know is certain is that we all will go the way of Leroy. How we go and what we do before that day comes is where the mystery lies. Your husband did something with his life and even with is death he showed us a way to live and leave this life with courage. I am one of many current cancer who listened and respected your husband's wisdom and courage. He may be gone but his words will live in the hearts of many. You were a very lucky woman to have had the good fortune to live with this man and to help him along his way. For this we all are indebted to you. Thank you!
Bless his heart and soul. He remains a true inspiration to us all. Laurie, you are in our prayers.
Please take your time, Laurie. Write when you feel that writing will be helpful to YOU.
Also, the blogs from the health care professionals have been wonderful in their sensitivity AND their writing skills.
Best wishes to all,
Judith
A Ted Koppel documentary focuses on his friend Leroy Sievers' "My Cancer" blog and the response it evokes.
A journalist for more than 25 years, Leroy Sievers worked at CBS News, the Discovery Channel, and ABC News, where he was the executive producer of Nightline. He wrote this blog daily until his death in August.
Download Leroy Sievers' radio commentaries and exclusive audio segments in the My Cancer podcast.
If you'd like to write to the My Cancer staff privately, please use our e-mail form.
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