I hope the bed will lift you up to provide a good view of the Olympics and its news coverage.

Sent by Leslie | 7:25 AM ET | 08-11-2008

To anyone who has never had to deal with cancer, they may think, its just a bed, but it is so much more than that. I worked for hospice and have had 2 family members on hospice. I know how difficult the decision can be.

Sent by Trish Whittaker | 7:29 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Sorry Leroy. That just plain old sucks. Period.

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 7:29 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Dear Leroy,

I truly understand the difficulty in making THAT decision. It is much better to be in our own beds. I had to do it for my father, he was weak, tried to get up alone would have fallen and I needed him to be safe. It was very difficult. However, rails, trapeze (not for flying of course) do make it easier to turn, move up, get into and out of, and also makes it easy for those assisting you.

I am sorry for this change. Prayers and hugs to you, Laurie, you home health aides, and to all.

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:46 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,
It seems as if every day things seem to be going downhill and it makes me very sad. I have the exact scenario at my home. It is starting to look like a hospital. I pray for strength and courage for all to get through this ordeal with as little pain and discomfort as possible. It is so emotionally draining. I have no more words today............just tears. I hope I didn't depress you, that's the last thing I would want to do............I guess I just needed to vent a little. Today is "CT Scan Day" and I usually get anxious and irritable the minute I open my eyes.

Be well dear friend..............Prayers to all.

Sent by sasha | 7:52 AM ET | 08-11-2008

My suggestion is superficial and will not change in any significant way what your new bed is, but...

...what about some cool sheets? Are you a flannel man?

After a couple of weeks without regular internet access, I MISSED YOU, Leroy, Laurie and fellow garden/army members.

Sweet dreams, my friend.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:52 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Good Morning Leroy! Hopefully, your new bed is more comfortable 'cause that is so important for you to get your rest. Boy, bet it hurt when you slipped and fell. If they can attach an electric ice cream maker on it, you will have it made!
Sure hope it helps. Man, you must have a lot to write about. Keep us posted.
This morning feels like FALL out side -cool, crisp, and dark clouds here in the lovely Blue Ridge.

Sent by J C R | 7:56 AM ET | 08-11-2008

i am never certain WHY those are brought in; I presume that they are supposed to be more comfortable for you. Just take caer Leroy and G-d bless you. May he give you some relief from pain and some modicum of peace.
Love, Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 8:01 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,

Please don't think of the tools that help you as negatives. They are just that--tools. They make your life (and Laurie's) easier and allow you to stay where you want to be--home.

The falling part isn't good; I'm glad it didn't happen. Thank God for helping hands.

Hugs and prayers to you both.

Sent by Kathy B. from Michigan | 8:15 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Keep hanging my friend!

Cristina

Sent by Cristina Barthel in Tampa, FL | 8:16 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I know it must be hard to accept the signs of your cancer's unrelenting progress and my heart goes out to you both. Instead of seeing the bed as a defeat, please try to embrace it as something to make your lives a little easier. Dear Leroy, focus your energy on living each day to the utmost, giving and receiving the quiet love that will sustain you both...

Sent by Brenda in Texas | 8:30 AM ET | 08-11-2008

That is a tough one Leroy. Peace be with you. Our son was very fond of the remote on his bed. It was definately a sense of control.

To Laurie, hang in there. Feel the support from all of us at this time. I am sorry for the pain you are and will be experiencing in the weeks to come. Nothing can prepare either one of you for that. Don't over do and try to rest with Leroy if possible.

God bless you both.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:41 AM ET | 08-11-2008

May it let you do the most important thing - to comfortably cuddle with Laurie....

Thinking of you daily.

Sent by Robin L. Fairfax VA | 8:41 AM ET | 08-11-2008

The added bed function is a gained asset, so try not to reflect too negatively on it. Whatever can make our days a little easier, or perhaps less fearful, is truly a gift of sustainment.

Hold Fast & sleep comfortably in your new bed.

Don MacLeod

Sent by Don MacLeod | 8:47 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I remember the day we made the tough, bed built for one decision with my husband. He had persevered through two years of war against a Glioblastoma. "Never Give In", was the motto, which adorned bracelets, plaques, our swim teams uniforms, and countless other things. He never did. He accepted what God had in the works for him and made the journey with faith, courage and joy. Yes, joy. Acceptance is hard, but peace followed. May your heart find the peace it's looking for and may joy follow.

Sent by Sue Dropo | 8:52 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,
Whatever it takes to make you feel better and be able to do the things you need to do. When anyone is sick it is all about comfort and getting as much of it as you can. Don't be afraid to accept those things that can make you feel better....after all that is what we all want here. May God bless and keep you in his loving care.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 8:54 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,
As hard as this is, it's a good decision. You'll be more comfortable in the long run and it will be easier for both you and Laurie. I know, it doesn't take away from what this means to you.

Thoughts and blessings come your way, as always!

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 9:04 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,
I would like to weigh in about my experience with Hospice. If you decide to call them, please ask if they use morphine patches. Our hospice nurse would not use them when they were needed because my husband had grown too thin. Don't be afraid to manage your pain early enough. Also, some hospices uses Haldol as a calming agent. Again, ours did not go along with that. Hopefully, you won't need it but it's nice to know you can get it. We also found that even though we had a live-in aid, we needed to hire a private duty nurse along the line. Hospice nurses will come often but ours did not stay very long.

Sent by Elaine | 9:11 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Good morning, Leroy!
One line in your blog today made me smile. You said this about the new bed, "It lets me do things I couldn't do before." I thought it might be equivalent to an Iraq vet who has a new prosthesis so he can do things he hadn't been able to do.

More power to you! And give Laurie a hug for me.
Linda

Sent by Linda | 9:15 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy, I thought about you this weekend. I was at one of those free concert in the Park (City of Manassas). There was a band playing music from the 50's. I thought how you were part of this generation and might enjoy this evening of entertainment. Hate is a strong word- don't you think so? I hate what cancer has done to me and I hate what it is doing to you.

Sent by Carolyn | 9:16 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Best decision made. You will be more comfortable if it is exta long. Laurie will not hurt her back.

Sent by Nancy Goldberg | 9:16 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I think it will be a good change. I got mine a while back. It is a creppy contraction though.Sqweeks at every movement. I am more comfortable, I must say.......It can always be trading in

Sent by Diane | 9:21 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Congratulations on giving yourself the great gift of the hospital bed! May it prove a wonderful mechanical ally providing you greater comfort and independence. (The height adjustments may make it both easier and safer for your care providers too.)

I hope you can find a way to make peace with assistive technology. To me, a hospital bed is like my eyeglasses: both augment abilities and maximize functional capacities. They are TOOLS, not concessions... and the same is true for hospice.

Wishing you well as you navigate the changes. You are a veteran world traveller, Leroy, and heaven knows you've got a great track record of resillience in the face of change. But it feels different when the changes are in our bodies, and in our home environments. It is new territory, and has a bigger impact.

Please take advantage of all allies (human and mechanical and otherwise) that can make your life easier and more practical now. There are lots of simple EADLS (electronic aids for Daily living) that will let you run lights, tv's, fans, stereo, etc. from bed too...

Acknowledging your journey, cheering you onward, and standing in solidarity across the e-miles,

Sent by Sarah | 9:29 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Wow, Leroy. I'm sure that the bed will make things less difficult for you but at the same time, I can see why it was difficult to decide to bring it into the house. I'm thinking of you during these so tough times.

Sent by Art Ritter | 9:38 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,
I know the hospital bed is a huge mental issue but think how much easier all tools make for us..not just medical. May I suggest a Hoyer lift if you do not have one. My husband is a big man like you and had it not been for one I could not have managed him at home when he was recovering from pulmonary emboli. The hospital bed and lift have left for now but we still look like a medical supply place but being able to get from one room to another is big. Pulling an oxygen tank around really slows him down but without it he could not get around at all. Please take all the help you can get. God bless.

Sent by Kathie | 9:46 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Be comfortable, Leroy, no matter what.
Sending "cyber"silk sheets your way...

Sent by Linnea | 9:50 AM ET | 08-11-2008

The hospital bed we had for Dad made a huge difference in our ability to care for him and in what he could do for himself. We got the soft jersey sheets and enough pillows so Mom could climb in and cuddle up with him when they watched TV before sleep. Can you name it...like Fred...Fred the magical bed! Find some humore and some peace today. Blessings to you and Laurie and all of us in Cancer World. Sahsa, best of luck to you today...Don't let that "scanziety" get the best of you!

Sent by Karen in Upstate NY where it seems to rain all the time! | 9:52 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,
It seems like everyone I know has been touched by cancer in some way. They either have it or a family member or friend does. I ride in Livestrong challenge rides. I can't do much but if I can raise money to fight this disease maybe eventually a cure can be found. There was a young man the "Oprah" show recently. A genius. His goal is to find a cure. You and everyone facing this have my prayers and support. I will think of you while I train for my next ride.
Very Sincerley,
Collette Wheeler

Sent by Collette Wheeler | 9:58 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I know it's tough to see it come in...but I hope the bed brings you and Laurie some relief. You're walking this path, might as well take the options that make it a little easier to focus on what you want to.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 10:07 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Ditto re. the bed being just another "tool" to make life easier. Just like glasses, hearing aides, wheel chairs, dishwashers! It's good we live in a time when such things are available, (and usually work well). Not a sign of giving in, but of working with what's available in order to be more comfortable and then be free to concentrate on more enjoyable things. For example, I'm watching on DVD the HBO "John Adams" series. If you never got a chance to see it when it was on tv, I highly recommend it! Excellent! (And being reminded of how hard things were before modern medicine is helping me to keep things in perspective.)

One day at a time....

Sent by Diana | 10:09 AM ET | 08-11-2008

It must be so incredibly hard to give up one more thing day after day. Someone said that life was all about losing - losing the baby that turns into a child, losing the child that turns into an adult...trees losing leaves...nature's way,etc. I don't know where little cells that have gone crazy and multiplied fit into nature, but they are the way I've always thought of cancer. I have never liked the idea of "the beast", as if we were fighting a conscious enemy. That just adds to the scariness to me.

Today is the 4th anniversary of my husband's passing. Passing is an old-fashioned word for death that I used to think was silly, but I now think is a more realistic term for what John went through. The Bible always says, "and it came to pass..", "this too shall pass..." It doesn't just come to be, it comes to pass by. You don't have to be religious to sense some ancient wisdom there.

We never talk about faith here, Leroy, other than an occasional, "you're in my prayers". Clearly, we must all have so many different perspectives about that. But here's mine. I think you're on a path to the most amazing adventure ever. You don't have to be formally religious to consider that possibility. Read Dr. Raymond Moody's book Life After Life about patients who had been declared clinically dead and returned to life with amazing accounts. Consider the possibility. I don't think anyone who reads their stories would fear death anymore. The friend that I know who "died" during childbirth and returned doesn't, even when that child was killed in an accident 17 years later.

I do believe that there's a life after this one and that time is different there - as in the world was created in 7 days, people declared dead for 4 minutes saw a review of their lives... That's why John and I believed that time would be different for him. Waiting for me to join him would be like waiting for me to come home for supper, not hard at all. The hard part of waiting is mine. I am determined though, to spend this time that I have smiling when I think of him and embracing each day consciously.

A hospital bed. It sucks, Leroy. All you have with your physical strength peeling away is your beautiful mind. I hope that some of your time is being spent considering the possibility that a fabulous adventure is ahead.

Sent by Laura | 10:12 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,
I believe your personality fills the room more than any bed can.

May I suggest the 600 thread count of Egyptian cotton sheets? (They're on sale at macy's right now) Cool, crisp, luxury. It may feel a little like putting lipstick on a pig, but to hell with the cancer! If you need to use this kind of bed, then by all means do it in style.

Sasha: Good luck today, we're sending "clean scan vibes" your way!

Much love for you & Laurie,
Debra Altschiller

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 10:15 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I forgot. A friend sent this great clip to me and I wanted to share. Leroy, you can't help but smile at these babies.

http://www.maniacworld.com/twin-baby-moose-in-sprinkler.html

By the way, even though my husband had to stay in the hospital (needed too much oxygen) we discovered that we could easily fit in his bed for much needed cuddling.

Give it a try, Laurie.

Sent by Kathy B. from Michigan | 10:18 AM ET | 08-11-2008

What does the new bed allow you to do that wasn't possible in your other bed Leroy?
I know the new bed doesn't make much of a fashion statement but perhaps you could wear some of your Hawaiian shirts to warm up the look.
Much love and solidarity,
Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 10:32 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Sucko! Reality does bite.

However, we love you! Be comfortable!

xo to you both.

Sent by Lori | 10:45 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Give 'em hell, Harry!

Sent by Greg (Honolulu) | 10:54 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I'm so sorry this was yet another difficult step for you, Leroy. But it sounds as if this means you have made the decision to stay in your home, at least. Maybe getting a couple of tough decisions over with will ease your mind some at least? Just pile on your favorite blankies, scooch over and have Laurie climb in beside you. It's only a bed, just something to make life a tiny bit easier and simpler. Hang in there, Friend.

Sent by Doris | 10:55 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Good Morning Leroy & Family,
GOD Bless & Keep You! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am a breast cancer survivor. I will be walking in the Race For The Cure this September, I will be walking for YOU TOO!
Page-Oregon

Sent by Page Hendryx | 10:59 AM ET | 08-11-2008

My bed has always been a safe haven, even when fighting cancer. It is a place to curl up and get comfortable and escape the terrors that cancer has swirling around me. I hope that your new bed can become a source of comfortable for you, as well.

Sent by Jerry | 11:06 AM ET | 08-11-2008

I hope the bed brings you physical comfort. I wish you physical and emotional comfort for yourself and your family and friends.

I know this is a difficult time for all of you.

Karen

Sent by Karen | 11:12 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy and Laurie,
It sounds like you have a lot of things under control. They may not be easy, but rest assured, they are right for you both.

Sasha,
My heart aches for you, I was not able to have Neil at home or get him to hospice. But he was in great care. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you deal with this ordeal in the life of your family. Many hugs are being sent your way!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 11:27 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy, Sorry about the bed. I find them made for much smaller people, not overly comfortable and a hospital bed. I hope it brings you some comfort while reading, or trying to find something to watch on summer TV. Good Luck with the last bit. Hang in there Big Man! Thoughts to you both. Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:38 AM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,

As always, my thoughts of calm,peace, and perspective are with you on your journey.

Sasha,

As well, please know that there are thoughts of peace,comfort, and care coming your way.

Dave
Fort Collins, CO

Sent by Dave Getzy | 12:00 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,

My mom's bed - brought in by Hospice - was a purple tri-cell air bed, complete with remote control. Oh, it was a slice of heaven. She never had a moments' discomfort (at least not due to the bed). The only scare we had was one cold, wintry evening when we had a power glitch due to the snow on the power lines, and the tri-cell began deflating -- YIKES! Mom was "cocooning" quickly, but then the power returned just as quickly (whew!).

As all those before me in today's responses have acknowledged, the bed is definitely a transitional step, and marks an unwelcomed change ... However, it is also there to provide some comfort and ease, so let it be "a friend and a partner" in your care. I know I'm attributing the bed with a life-flow here -- I tend to do that with everything. You just never know ...

Thinking of you and Laurie with great care and affection ~

Love,
Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:02 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy, I hope that new bed makes life much easier for you. In some ways I am sure it will give you some independance. Before you may have had to have help getting into sitting positions,etc. Now you can just let that bed help you. For the last couple of years of my husbands life he slept in his recliner chair and just couldn't accept the thought of hospital bed. It made me feel very sad. I know some of these aids are hard in the beginning to accept but as you get used to the freedom and help they give you it will make things easier for you and for Laurie. I am sure it is hard for Laurie too to see you needing help but the two of you togeather with the help of others and the medical aids that are out there that until we are in that situation to need them, don't even know a lot of those things are there.

I hope your weekend was a good one and as pain free as possible. Thought of you and Laurie many times over the weekend. I walked along this journey with my husband and as sad as it was we had some vey beautiful moments that I will never forget. Special memories.

Take care and keep us posted on how that new bed is doing. As always my prayers are with you both.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 12:16 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,

I'm with Kathy B from Michigan.

I understand how you feel slowly diminished by this disease; it is diminishing you. However, you are still you and still very loved.

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 12:28 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Thank you. You and those close to you are doing a great job of keeping us posted, not only about your physical health, but also with the many emotions that accompany it.
Now, about the bed. I'm sure that was a difficult decision, but it should make it easier for you to get in and out of bed.
This summer at one of the places I stayed, I had to use a chair to climb up and into the bed; another place I had an air mattress on the floor, and that was difficult, too. And I am well.
You continue to be in my daily thoughts and my prayers.
With love,
Judith

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 12:32 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Good Afternoon Leroy, Laurie and All,

Leroy, I'm glad to hear that you now have a bed that allows you to do more things. And it will make it so much easier for your caregivers, as well. You can always add accessories to make it even more functional, like a mattress topper for additional comfort and treasure bags on the sides to hold your "treasurers".

Laurie, I hope you are getting some well deserved rest along with Leroy. I'm sure you will add your decorating touch to help Leroy adjust to his new world. My thoughts and prayers are with you both!

To All, As we all walk this path together we will face a flow of continual change. I pray that the changes will be positive and that we will have the strnegth to face the changes that are not. Sasha, you and John are in my prayers too. God Bless!

Eileen Pruyne
Charlotte, NC

Sent by Eileen Pruyne | 12:44 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy and Laurie, this will help keep Leroy at home. Barnie the Bed??? And it will be much easier for everyone.. My mother in law allowed her dog up on her bed.. Just be sure and get some soft sheets and comforter so you don't get a callus on your elbow. I always did in the hospital with their yuck sheets. Just some practical things to think about.. And cuddle and hold each other a lot!!

And bring out the birthday cake!! Crumbs in the bed are okay...

Sent by Patsy Elmore | 12:52 PM ET | 08-11-2008

God Bless you Leroy. You know, you're leading the way for people like me that are destined to follow in your footsteps. I know you would love to not be the leader but if it helps, I find comfort in knowing how things might turn out for me. It makes me feel less alone. I know it's hard and at this point, I can only imagine the decision making process. We are all rooting for you in our own way. I'm praying for you and Laurie.

Sent by Kim | 1:00 PM ET | 08-11-2008

I do understand how you feel about the hospital bed - cancer slowly but surely takes over our lives. I love the idea about 600 thread count Egyptian sheets and I think you should treat yourself to the best. You and Laurie deserve it.
Sasha - I shall be thinking of you especially today. Every day is hard but tests and scans days are particularly nerve-wracking and tough. David had a stem cell tansplant last December and he has started getting severe headaches again, just like he did a year ago when we found that his non-hodgkins lymphoma had returned and we found that he had a tumour behind his eyes.
I am so grateful to Leroy and everyone on this blog who helps me feel less alone. You are all the greatest blessing to me and I send my love and prayers to you. How I miss you over the weekend.
Leroy - cuddle with Laurie on that bed and know that you are truly loved by all of us.

Sent by Tina from Alton, IL | 1:14 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Dear Leroy,

I know it must hard to take this step, but I hope the bed gives you comfort and freedom to do other things. Be careful and don't elevate the head and foot at the same time. You don't want to be a pretzel!!
I like the thought of you in the bed wearing a Hawaiian Shirt!
Sending prayers and good thoughts to you and Laurie!
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 1:25 PM ET | 08-11-2008

I know they have not evolved this much, but wouldn't it be great if they had a vibrating setting on the remote for the bed, and a heat element in the mattress. Now THAT would be a bed for you Leroy. Do the best with what you have, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Mary in Montana

Sent by mary fitzpatrick | 1:32 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Just so it has room for that laptop......

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 1:41 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Being able to watch the Olympics a bit better should be a comfort and in some ways the ability to move better with the trapeze bar made my husband feel more in command. Its just "stuff" Leroy, the main thing is just the two of you. May love continue to surround you and obliterate the pain.

Sent by Lucy Groh | 1:48 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy, seems I'm taking this "ride" along with you. I have my hospital bed and the only problem is that sometimes it is hard to lift my big well...not so big now I guess ...hind end and scoot it over to where I want it for comfort. :) I have been able along with the meds, to sleep better. Perhaps you and our friends out here in cyberland can put together a "tip" booklet on how to do these things. (On the days that are less painful, that is ...) Take care Leroy. Your friend, Linda Warner out here in "getting warmer by the minute, Sacramento"...

Sent by Linda Warner | 2:20 PM ET | 08-11-2008

When I was in the hospital, my 19 year old daughter came to visit me. She got into the bed with me and cuddled with me. It was a tight fit, and a little painful (I was recovering from surgery), but in that hospital bed, I felt very loved. Love and blessings to you both.

Sent by Margaret | 2:35 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Your thoughts about your bed remind me of thought process around finally giving in to get a handicap parking tag. Something about knowing it means the cancer is active and taking over another part of my life just wasn't comfortable. Yet, I now love my handicap sticker and have come to terms with the change and focus on the positive improvements it has made for me.

Maybe you feel the same way about your hospital bed. I'm sure you wouldn't have got it if you didn't think you needed it yet it brings about a reminder that your cancer is changing your world. Try to focus on the positive attributes a hospital bed brings you and the comfort you will experience with it. This too will hopefully feel more acceptable in time. I know as I try to sit up in bed to watch TV, I have secretly wished I had a push button that raised my head comfortably. I like others ideas to put nice comfy sheets on the bed to make it feel less clinical.

Have a motorized day and see if that bed can make any movements that feel even remotely thrilling!

You are always in my thoughts!

Sent by Alexis Redmond | 2:46 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy

I hope you can get settled with your new sleeping arrnangement. We had to have the hospital bed too. The German doctor came to our flat and inspected the place and would not let Joe come home until he was sure all the things were in place to get him proper care. Didnt mean we liked it but it was time.
Even on the weekend have to stop to wonder how Leroy is doing and hoping all is well for you.

Sent by Irene | 2:52 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy, yeah the H bed is a big ol' honkin thing, but it will literally support you and your comfort level. I hope you can look at it as your space.

(Ooo, I liked Kathy B's comment above about the snuggling :) )

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 3:01 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,

It's not a bed, it's a POWER TOOL!

Perspective is everything.

Sent by Nancy | 3:20 PM ET | 08-11-2008

My dearest Leroy,

Blessings to you and Laurie.
I agree with my fellow posters: the bed is a tool. It's helping you staying home and more comfortable. That's it. Don't look for more meanings to this. Rather, hug Laurie and tell her you love her. Much as it sucks, you still have each other. It's immense.
Don't go to the hospice. Stay home. You're happier there, even if it's technically more challanging.

I've been reading your blog for over a year and I check in every day. I've lost people I loved to cancer and the disease has deeply affected all my young and adult emotional life. I live every day as it was the last. Today I went to the beach and saw the most amazing sunset. That is dedicated to you.

Hugs
Leah

Kee

Sent by Leah | 3:37 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy - gonna have a weird thing to say here. My husband passed on July 1, after fighting the battle of his life. He never gave up - told his daughter, "I have my guns and my whiskey at home - get me out of this place" - that would be the hospital. He fell into a coma, but the next 28 hours in hospice for him were served by the most compassionate, caring people I've ever met. Please consider it. It will help Laurie, as it did me. I've only been on this blog for about a month, but you have helped me in ways you don't know. My heart goes out to you, I know the heartache the two of you are going through. My thoughts, my prayers, my wishes are with you heartfelt. Marsha

Sent by marsha bacenko | 4:00 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy,

This is what I love most about this blog. Everyone can relate to this. I can too. I remember the decision process with my mom. She held out til the the day before she died to have Hospice bring one in. She fought that decision very hard and long. It plain wore her out.

I'm so glad you're at home, in familiar surroundings with people you love and who love you back fiercely. One thing. You don't have to talk about cancer all the time, if you don't want to. I love your posts about you, your view on life, on things. I don't know. Just a thought.

Laurie, keep loving him :o)

Sent by Teri Thomas | 4:23 PM ET | 08-11-2008

I've interpreted your personal feelings about your "new" bed to be pretty negative. Actually, it will make it much easier to care for you. Also,with the help of (many) pillows, the remote will enable you to find a more comfortable position for yourself, much more quickly.
As a hospice volunteer, I often recommend that couples set their hospital bed up right next to their regular bed. That way, you are still sleeping and cuddling together, and the move to the hospital bed is not such a psychologically big one.
If room is a problem, just have some husky friends move a chest or bureau out of the room so you can still sleep together.
By the way, my hospice is not a free standing facility. We service patients in their homes, in hospitals, in nursing homes, wherever they are. You can stay home for as long as you want to.
I know how difficult your decisions are as I'm making them for myself.
In anticipation, my partner and I have set up several bird feeders right outside our windows. I know that the time will come when watching my feathered friends will become an activity that I can do independently. I especially enjoy the adorable humming birds. We have at least 3 families who visit their feeder all day long.
May you and Laurie adjust quickly to your new power tool!
Sue

Sent by Sue Mersic | 4:47 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Monday and Leroy's back. Let the week begin, even if it is from a new point of view.

Sent by Rockland Refugee | 4:53 PM ET | 08-11-2008

The bed helps you but it also states that you need help. The good and bad. Feeling it for you.

Sent by Susan | 5:01 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Laurie and Leroy, those hospital bed mattresses can get pretty uncomfortable. Invest in a memory foam topper - it will make it like a comfy cloud! Love the idea of thinking of the bed as a power tool! Sweet dreams to you two.
Kay

Sent by Katharine | 6:07 PM ET | 08-11-2008

The bed comes with depressing symbolism, obviously. I hate cancer. Do try not to ruminate on the bed - it's yipee-ki-yo-ki-yay time, getting used to the controls (I wish it could be made to gently rock, like a hammock in the breeze). It's a good bed, really - f'get-about-it and remember to wear your cowboy hat. Ride'm cowboy, and all that. Lots of love coming at you and yours.

Sent by Eve | 6:32 PM ET | 08-11-2008

We all must find your comfort where we can, Leroy. We haven't flipped our mattress in years so I guess I need to put another board under it. Warm thoughts your way, Leroy and Laurie

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 6:38 PM ET | 08-11-2008

I feel guilty coming here somedays, breat cancer in remission for 6 years. I want so bad to come and see the same for you Leroy. But I can't stay away, i enjoy your banter, your wit and most all your bravery. When and if the day comes, that mine too returns, I have a brave, funny, wonderful man's footsteps to guide me along....Thank you Leroy and Laurie, both of you have been a inspiration to us all.

Sent by Dana Porter | 6:57 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Leroy and Laurie - I hope that this new tool makes for fewer sleepless nights...thank you for your reflections.

Thanks too, to my fellow posters...some days you inspire me with humor and light, when I'm stuck in responding here.

Support to all! And appreciation to Laura for posting today!

Sent by Joan S. | 7:24 PM ET | 08-11-2008

You are a truly gifted writer-a poet who doesn't need rhymes. Your life will be celebrated for generations to come. YOU have made a difference in this world. Good work.

Sent by linda j garwood | 7:54 PM ET | 08-11-2008

Dude:

Just remember how cool you thought those beds were when you were a kid. Up down up down. Maybe get folded up in it somehow? Did that ever happen to Lucille Ball?

After my daughter was born by unplanned c-section, I was on heavy doses of demerol. I was propped up in my nice electric bed and receiving visitors. Apparently my eyes were open and I was quite the conversationalist. All I remember was being propped up in bed and thinking how cool it would be to be able to read like that every night . . . .

Waves of love crash toward you on your new surfboard dude!

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 10:00 PM ET | 08-11-2008

I know I'm posting late as usual, but Burge would tell you to get a "memory foam" pad for your new bed. It made a such a big difference for him, he swore that anytime one of his friends had to spend any time in the hospital, he would get them one instead of flowers.
They are under $100 at Wal-mart or Target.

You realize don't you that some bed companies actually sell "hospital like beds" and make them sound like the greatest thing in the world...for reading, watching TV, etc. Don't think of it as a hospital bed but the bed of the rich and famous.

I hope by now, Sasha, the scans are over and things are going well.

Nikki

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 12:00 AM ET | 08-12-2008

enjoy the bed. I did sign up for hospice today. I'm not taking the bed yet, but I am getting a wheelchair, walker and o2. I'm not sure if I should cry or just be relived that another task is done.

Sent by Jill | 12:44 AM ET | 08-12-2008

I so agree with Kathy from Mich. all these things are tools, beds, care and love, even in normal life we had these items but once the cancer word is said to us we much use a different type of life time tools. Prayers for both of you. Just wrote my funeral statement last night and want it to revolve around all the caregivers in my life, aren't they all so SPECIAL!!!

Sent by Marian | 8:04 AM ET | 08-12-2008

Hi Leroy,

If the bed will make you more comfortable, that is the most important thing. More comfort = more rest, which will help you live longer and better.

You are in my prayers.

Sent by Marcy in NJ | 10:38 AM ET | 08-12-2008

Hi Leroy & Laurie,
Tough news to read - hospital bed at home. But I fully concur with many bloggers --- go for the expensive sheets (jersey - 100% cotton or the 600 thread count), tons of pillows, memory foam topper etc. The idea of the Hoyer lift is a great one...no doubt one of the home healthcare aides will know about it. It's a god-send.

There is a HUGE market of "environmental control" items - turning on/off tv, music, changing channels and the like. Contact an assistive technology clinic/store/provider in your area who can assist you with procurement. Go for all the bells and whistles!!

Going "high tech" does not mean the human touch is out of the picture. Please know that my heart goes out to you & Laurie as you proceed along this damned cancer journey. I wish for both of you some peace of mind in having made exceedingly difficult decisions. Relax and reap the rewards of having done so. Let your love for one another envelop you as some of the anxieties about decision-making dissipate.

With love and hugs, Lyn

Sent by Lyn / AZ | 2:53 PM ET | 08-12-2008

Dude, you are so lucky. I have been in a hundred good old-fashioned bedrooms with a "hospital bed." They are for people who have been down and out, in any number of ways, and have had the good sense to find a way for their friends to meet up and party all around them. Good, good choice, Leroy, (and I am sure Laurie was the one who made it) and good parties in the future.

Sent by Just me. | 2:48 AM ET | 08-15-2008