Another Wizard

Christos Georgiades holds many distinguished titles at Johns Hopkins. I remember after meeting him for the first time, I looked at Leroy and said, "Another wizard."

That word is not on his business card, but it could be. Dr. Georgiades introduced us to the world of RFA and Cryoablation. As an intervention radiologist, he came from a different place in the treatment world, and Leroy welcomed his ideas.

As it turned out, the two men connected on many levels.

I met Leroy and Laurie in early 2006. They visited me at Johns Hopkins in search of treatment options for what was termed an untreatable disease: Leroy's already metastatic colon cancer. I did not pay much attention to it, but I did notice that the interaction between Leroy and Laurie was that of a couple who had just met, even though they had been together for some time. They treated each other with friendly care, talked to each other with honest concern, and listened to each other -- really listened.

Being forced to confront one's mortality brings into focus what is really important ... friends, family, honesty. I never told Leroy this, but I have not read his blog. Even as I write this knowing it will be posted on his blog, I probably will not read it. I can't articulate why. Perhaps I feel I failed him, perhaps I want to remember him based on my interactions with him, and perhaps I am afraid of what I will read on his blog ... or perhaps all of these.

People keep telling me that those who treated Leroy gave him a lot of extra time -- good, quality time with his friends and family. Of course I know this is true. In 2006 his prognosis would not have had him see 2007; in 2007 he was told he would not see 2008.

Yet now that Leroy has passed, the knowledge that "I helped him" provides no comfort. If I say it out loud, it even sounds pretentious.

Everyone has a different philosophy about cancer and death. Those who are still healthy, delusional in their temporary immortality, can formulate this philosophy as an academic exercise. The Leroy I knew did not have that luxury, but he saw his incurable cancer as a juncture in his life, not a consuming feature.

And because of that, what defined Leroy was not his cancer, but the way he fought the battle against it. He used it as a springboard to fill a void in countless others who shared his burden, and by doing so he ignited a chain reaction of selfless service and open discussion.

Every interaction with Leroy was a learning experience ... for both of us, I think. Leroy taught me that the effect cancer has on a patient's life depends on the patient himself and his support network. Even when the outcome is predetermined, what matters is the trip, and not the destination.

What Leroy learned from me was much more mundane. A new way to stave off his cancer, some new technology, a new procedure. We even joked once, when I gave him my business card with a few holes punched in and told him, "The tenth procedure is free."

Good times or bad, Leroy never thought of himself first. "These new procedures -- how come they are not available to all? There are thousands who can benefit from this."

I can't remember how many cancer patients, reading Leroy's blog, found out about this, called, and received treatment they would likely not have had otherwise. "I have cancer and I saw Leroy on the Discovery channel ..." is how the conversation usually started.

I wonder if, before he passed, Leroy realized the impact he had on the lives of so many others. Leroy will surely be missed; but his spirit will survive in the memory of those whose burden was lightened by his courage.

-- Laurie

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I really enjoyed reading the entry
today. Thank you , Kathy Hoerle

Sent by kathy Hoerle | 9:03 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie,
Thank you again for sharing.........as always, prayers to all.

Sent by sasha | 9:06 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, Another wonderful tribute to Leroy by Dr. Georgiades. I too hope that Leroy realized the impact that he had on so many others. The same that you now Laurie are having with the sharring of his medical team.

Laurie, I think of you a lot and hope that you are finding strength in each day to go forward. We are all still lifting...I know your miss must be great but I hope that by staying with us in this community that with everyones lifting you can draw some strength from us.

Thanks again to both of you Laurie and to Dr. Georgiades, and of course Leroy for helping so many.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 9:13 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr. Georgiades, thank you for this special insight into Leroy and Laurie, and your perspective. We appreciate it so much! He was something, our Leroy, wasn't he!!! Love to you today Laurie, Linda

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:15 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Well said Dr. Georgiades. Leroy is one of a kind.

Again, I say Pulitzer Prize.

Leroy pioneered an avenue for so many to be able to speak freely without being judged of their fears, trials and tribulations and even their anger in their world of cancer. Whether a patient, caregiver or just concerned observer. He was here for us.

Leroy's Army is a community built by Leroy and we will never forget him or what he has given us.

God bless you Leroy and Laurie and thank you Laurie for staying with us.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 9:24 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Wow. Wow. I hope you'll use this latest posting in the book.

Sent by rob hallam | 9:25 AM ET | 08-28-2008

It says a lot about Leroy that even when exploring new procedures in hopes of buying a bit more time for himself, he was also asking about these procedures' availability to others.

Dr. Gerogiades mentions a sentiment I've heard shared by other excellent, dedicated physicians after their patients' died: a sense that they failed these patients.

I looked deeper at this sentiment, when I wrote a piece for clinicians entitled "meeting with failure." I hope you find it useful.
http://www.oncology-times.com/pt/pt-core/template-journal/oncotimes/media/WendyHarphamMeetingwithFailureOTJan102006.pdf

With hope, Wendy

Sent by Wendy S. Harpham, MD | 9:27 AM ET | 08-28-2008

What a lovely message.. This shows that ALL doctors are not extremely fond of themselves!! I do hope that he reads this blog.. I can't imagine anyone not going away with something wonderful and I believe Dr. Georgiades sells himself VERY short!!

How like Leroy to think of others receiving this treatment and giving the information to us.

Thank you again, Laurie, for sharing the most private times of your life with us..

1 2 3 LIFT
FROG

Sent by Patsy Elmore from Knoxville, TN | 9:32 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Hi Laurie--Thank you so much for facilitating the postings from the nurses and doctors who cared for Leroy.
Leroy will be remembered as "the cancer patient who gave all of us the words to talk openly about cancer."
The folks who have posted the past few days help us to know Leroy a little bit better. The doctor's and nurse's words help us know that not only were those of us cancer patients and their life givers changed by how Leroy faced his cancer, but so were those who cared for him.
The world of cancer care is better for all of us because of Leroy and the courage and openness with which he faced his cancer. He is missed by all of us.

Sent by Jean | 9:38 AM ET | 08-28-2008

You said it all so well, we are all nodding our heads in agreement. I hope Leroy does know how much he impacted us, cancer treatment and perspective. You are right, Leroy was about the journey, not the destination. We will never ever forget that, or forget him. Thanks Dr. and Laurie for a memorable post today. Love from Sherri in Texas, breast cancer, dx 4-06

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 9:38 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, Thanks so much for the contribution to the blog by Leroy's doctors. This one struck to my core. It just keeps reminding me what an incredible person Leroy was! I think Leroy met his calling unknowingly thru this blog and helped more people than he could possibly imagine. And to hear Dr. Georgiades say how he learned from Leroy, that touched my heart. I believe that we are all put on this earth to serve a purpose and some of us never find our calling. Well Leroy definitely found his calling and in the end, although he left us physically, his compassion, determination, kindness, strength and courage will sustain us. Laurie, you are one of the luckiest women in the world to have spent your life with an angel.

Sent by Jeanne Stevens | 9:50 AM ET | 08-28-2008

"Leroy's Legacy" kind of says it all...

He will continue to make such a difference in countless lives including MINE!

Leroy will indeed be missed dearly by so many.. but he WILL live on in ALL OF US!!

Sent by Ron Bye (NH) | 9:53 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Thanks Laurie! You are still in my thoughts and prayers everyday. We are still here supporting and lifting you! I found too many people went away when it was over and we will not do that because now you need your loved ones more then ever! Thanks for having the doctors share their thoughts about Leroy they are just wonderful memories to hold on to! Leroy was our inspiration and he is missed everyday. I always wondered what the doctors were thinking and how they go one each day knowing most of their patients are dying. My father was also fortunate enough to have a great team of doctors his main Oncologist was great doctor just barely 40 so he was a young guy but the experience that he already had was wonderful and he was in a practice with a doctor who had over 20 years experience so I feel we had the best of both worlds. It takes a special person to be in this field it really does. So thanks again it is nice to hear the stories about Leroy and your relationship with Leroy and their views. Keep up the good work doctors you are such special people fighting this war and thank you for caring for Leroy and giving it all you had and then giving more, including your caring and compassion! Loving thoughts and comfort to you every minute Laurie! Love, hugs and peace, Cori Swanson

P.S. I am sure all of you have heard on the TV already but September 5th Stand up to Cancer airing on all your local stations simultaneously, CBS, NBC, ABC. Let's all STAND UP! My thoughts are with all of you fighting this horrible disease and with all the caregivers it is not a easy road but cancer can not take the love and compassion and relationships that we have as hard as it tries it can NEVER take that away!

Sent by Cori Swanson | 9:57 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, still thinking of you and wondering how you are managing. It is interesting how this blog is evolving. Reading the post and all the comments are a part of my day and I care about you and all who write in. But yetin a kind of detached way, I am curious to see where we are going with it. Each day it seems to go down a slightly different path and touch more people's experiences...cancer, grief, dealing with doctors...

Tina, I'm thinking of you and your husband - keep up the good fight.

Bruce, your post yesterday brought tears to my eyes. How hard it must be for you but yet I'm so happy for you. Best wishes.

Sent by Jeanne | 9:59 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Good morning Laurie
Yes, Dr. G you sell yourself short. You did not fail Leroy at all.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 10:05 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie,
Just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking of you. I hope you are hanging in there.

Sent by Jen | 10:18 AM ET | 08-28-2008

This was a very interesting entry and I am sure I will be thinking about his statements all day long.

Laurie - I am still thinking of you every day! This weekend will be your first holiday without Leroy and I am sure you will face it with bravery and sadness. Eat something good and think of Leroy. He would want you to be with friends and family this weekend.

Sent by Liz L. | 10:25 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Learning so much, Laurie, keeping and hiding names for a G-D Forbid Time. Thank you for having these people speak.
I could learn ad infitim but I think I am not the only one who would like to hear from Laurie and know how you are doing? Thinking about working again (that is presumptious - that you were not working). Just take care of you and so much love from so many of us goes out to you.
Jan

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 10:35 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr. Georgiades, thank you for sharing. Thank you for being the kind of doctor we all hope to have. Thank you for being there for Leroy and Laurie.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:37 AM ET | 08-28-2008

If there is a lesson to be had here, and there are undoubtedly many, surely one of them is "live as if you were fightning cancer...or some other dreaded disease." Live every day as if life matters...live as if the possibility for curing whatever ails you is out there...accessible by reaching out to others...to either have them lift you up and out...or you to reach back and lift someone up..." It's a great "life lesson" ...thanks for reminding me of this on what might otherwise have been a morning tinged by a little of "woe is me." I'm happy to think that you are accompanied, Laurie...by Leroy's memory and by others' memory of him...
Sandra

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 10:38 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Thanks so very much to Leroy, Laurie and NPR for hosting this Blog. I am not certain why I have been so drawn to it...because of my first husband's death from cancer in 1982? My fears of my own mortality?

Laurie, I don't even know you...how can I write to you on this blog? It seems so awkward...but I want to offer you enveloping warmth and hugs...like a big, fluffy blanket to wrap yourself in.

I know that you have in-person friends who care deeply, and I hope that you soak up their love like a sponge. It helps.

Sent by Carol McKenzie | 10:39 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Hi Laurie,
You and Leroy met some amazing people on your journey. Thank you for introducing them to us. It restores some of my faith in healthcare and the human race as a whole. P.S. I do have a feeling though, that Leroy brought out the very best in people.

Sent by Sharon | 10:41 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie,
My daughter, as a little girl, was called Laurie although her given name, and the one she uses now, is Laurel.
Thank you for continuing Leroy's blog. The heartfelt messages from the people he knew at Hopkins are so helpful as our family is on a journey of our own through "cancer world" and are even connected to Hopkins at this time.
My love and sincere sympathy for your loss.

Sent by a friend | 10:57 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, it's really great that many on Leroy's treatment team are contributing to the blog. It's refreshing to see "the other side," the medical science side, and know that in many ways, they are as impacted by the loss of a patient as we are by the loss of a family member or friend. As a family member, I just thought the doctors and nurses were doing their job, just like we all do every day.

I hope you're doing as well as you can be doing right now. Know that you are supported and those of us on the blog are still lifting as best we can.

I wish you peace.

Sent by Joyce in FL | 10:58 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, brilliant idea to have Leroy's doctors post. My husband is battling cancer and we have very close relationships with our doctors as well. We are constantly exploring new treatments and it is really insightful to hear the point of view of Leroy's doctors directly. thank you for continuing the sharing and learning.

Sent by Jennie Perry | 11:01 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie and Dr. Christos Georgiades,

Today's blog managed to pull me away from waves of sadness and reminded me to be grateful and acknowledge the great gifts we have been given. Information about new procedures was perhaps one of Leroy's greatest gifts to this community.
I am grateful for the talents of these professionals, for Lauries generous spirit, and for Leroy's legacy.
Thank you.

Sent by eaf | 11:04 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Hi
Again a really good post. It is interesting to hear from people on the "other side".

Sunday will be the 27th anniversary of my mothers death from lung cancer. I still miss her dearly. At that time there was no chemo, only massive doses of radiation. Sometimes she would get delerious during her treatment because it was so strong. She was burnt badly during these treatments and although her doctors knew what the outcome would be, they just kept on giving it to her. She suffered terribly, beating her head on the floor because she was in so much pain.

Today nothing much has changed. I know there is chemo and pills etc, but people are still dying from this parasitic disease. Why can't we find a cure. Since 1975 we have been getting told "a cure is right around the corner", well how big is the corner.

What I have also noticed is that if you make it out of your 50s unscathed then you seem to have a chance. Everyone I know both friends and family died in their 50s.

Laurie, I am so sorry for your loss but please know that with time it heals a little. To the doctors writing into this blog with their insights, sometimes I think shame on you for not pushing more for something to be done about curing cancer. I do not know how you can do your job every day knowing what the outcome will probably be. Yes, people are getting a few more months of life, but at what cost. They are usually confined to bed in pain, that is not living.

Sorry for ranting today, this disease just makes me so angry, it has taken away a lot of people I loved in the prime of their lives. Please push for a cure and ask questions at every turn, ask "why not".
Peace to all today and every day.

Sent by fay in az | 11:05 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, reading the posts by Leroy's doctors has been so interesting and makes me think about all those who haven't had opportunities for the best of care. As we speak, there are people whose doctors are not taking time to listen, not explaining the choices in detail. Often this is because insurance companies force a quota of patients on them which pushes them into a rushed, hardly rewarding relationship with patients.
Right now there are dear frightened people who are trying to make a choice between treatments that would bankrupt their families, with moderate hope of success, or accepting the sure progression of untreated cancer. I think we all are so aware of the need for research and cancer awareness. Let's also get up in arms about the predicament of those who are uninsured, underinsured, or treated by doctors whose work is greatly influenced by insurance companies.
Elections are coming up. Let's put our passion for fighting cancer into making a difference in the system that should be arming us all equally and effectively to go into that battle.

Sent by Laura | 11:10 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Often I have had people ask how I can work for Hospice. My reply is always "I want to give back in a way I was given care while my family has received Hospice services. Besides I normally receive so much more than I can give. The people I meet are extraordinary!" Leroy & Laurie are proof of that.

Sent by Karla Maple | 11:22 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr. G., whether or not you ever read this, may you be blessed in the same magnitude as your words and medical care and presence as a person have blessed others!

Sent by Sarah | 11:24 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie,
Thank you for the postings of this week. Hearing the pro's perspectives and their memories of you and Leroy has been most interesting. It sounds like your and Leroy's influence went far beyond the range of this audience. That figures.
You are in our thoughts and we hope you begin to find some comfort and peace.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 11:44 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr. Georgiades, thank you for this beautiful, well written post. It is a fine example of the positive impact Leroy had and will continue to have on others.

Laurie, September 1st will mark the two year anniversary that my dad passed away from lung cancer. His death sent me on a journey unlike any other I've experienced, and along the way I've found that although he is no longer here in physical form, his spirit is as strong as ever. I hope you find comfort in knowing Leroy's spirit is alive and well in those he knew and those he touched through his blog.

Sent by Betty in Denver | 11:49 AM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie - Over the past few days, I have taken you on a road trip, along the coast (San Andreas Fault) of Northern California...where roads curve through rolling hills, between redwood groves and the healing ocean crashes around the next bend.

Now I'm back home to thank you for sharing with us the wisdom and humanity of Christian, Pierse, Joe and Christos -
your wizards. I've spent a lot of time during my own journey as 'the patient', reflecting on how my quest to live puts me in the hands of another person's 'profession'. It is so much more tolerable when we honor each other's integrity in this mysterious exchange.

I've also been struck this week how your journalistic skills and your personal process, of allowing others to 'help', blend beautifully in continuing Leroy's legacy.

Uplifted and lifting!

Sent by Joan S. | 12:15 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie,

This is incredible! These posts from the Docs and Med/support team are so profound and significant. They just blow me away, especially in light of my Father's interest in this as a physician. It is very important to include Dr. Georgiades attitude in this blog for although Leroy dramatically caused him to reflect I seriously doubt he will change much which is clearly evident due to the fact that he never has read this blog and doesn't intend to read his essay nor the comments to his entry and can not answer why he doesn't want to. The reason is - he doesn't want to have to face the pain he would feel knowing that he really needs to change and fill his professional life more fully with compassion for all his patients NOT just the exceptional human beings like Leroy that force him to look at himself and his apathetic professional view points/attitudes. As Nikki explained yesterday much needs to change to give physicians the message that compassion should be the #1 medicine. We can't just leave it up to chance.

Laurie -this is another potential use for "Leroy's Army": Your Blogs since Leroy's death have made it so strikingly clear to me the extremely important substance Leroy created in the potential to help others just by being who he was. These blogs could, highlighted by the physicians essays and selected Blogs by Leroy and certain responses could become material to create a curriculum to be used at medical colleges across the country devoted to teaching medical students about issues regarding patient care and the importance of relational issues between patient and doctor. Perhaps Drs.' Meyer, Herman and Georgiades (and others) would be willing to take a role in creation of such a teaching program for medical students and then help with the hard work of getting it implemented in various medical colleges. This could all be done in memory of Leroy in the way Dr. Herman spoke of: it would keep Leroy vibrantly alive in our hearts/minds and others who never knew him at all would learn what a wonderful human being and leader he was: the true definition of leadership - one who leads by example - a person of constant action. WOW, you are doing such a service here Laurie.

Lastly, I've been going through my own grief (loss of Leroy and dramatically recent others in my life) and was about to fade into "lurking" or fade away all together. But I just can't this is all too important to not still be a part of. I get so much from y'all. And thank you so much Sue Chap and Kathy B. from Michigan your sweet and kind comments touched my heart and enlivened my step and. With Love always - Graham from Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 12:21 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie,
You're in my thoughts today and every day. I know your grief is hard to bear and hope that knowing how many people love and respect Leroy and you both will be a comfort to you.Dr. Georgiades sounds like a wise and compassionate man and a deep thinker. There's much to ponder in what he says. I love the line about Leroy seeing cancer as a "juncture in his life, not a consuming feature." Thanks you, Laurie, for bringing us his thoughts.

Sent by Doris | 12:22 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Thank you Laurie and doctors, for opening more windows into this world of cancer and its treatment. It is so helpful to hear what goes on behind the closed doors and to hear heartfelt commentary from you doctors and researchers. So, another gift from Leroy-it goes on.

Sent by Barbara Langan | 12:35 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr G, thank you for your beautiful post which brings insight from a doctor's perspective. And Laurie, thank you so very much for continuing this blog and sharing with all of us who come daily. Aloha and big hugs.

Sent by patty | 12:38 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie,
We will continue to lift you high, in our thought and prayers.
A real dog would be a wonderful companion for you now. I hope that you seriously consder it. They are great counselors too, they are right there to comfort, listen and be with you. And cry with you too, if you want.
Page - Oregon

Sent by Page hendryx | 12:43 PM ET | 08-28-2008

This blog has somehow turned into a tender love story that I just can't put down. It makes me wish I could have known Leroy, and maybe enjoyed a plate of nachos with you both.

Sent by Meg P. | 12:50 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr. G. thanks so much for sharing. It's really helpful to hear about the same circumstances and situations from different perspectives. This contribution and the others from the medical community over the past few days have really added to the spirit of what was started here by Leroy.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 1:01 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Bruce,
I read your post and just wanted to say how happy I am for you.

Sent by sasha | 1:10 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Very well written article Dr. Harpham--Wendy--thank you for sharing it!

Sent by Linda Lee | 1:12 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Laurie,

Oh ... What a glimpse of depth Dr. Georgiades offers into the soul of a caring physician and human being. His posting today is one that I will share with others and print out and keep for my own re-reading, many times over. It is about as powerful as any creedo I've ever read and tried to absorb.

I was so touched by the doctor's observation of the loving relationship between you and Leroy; as well as his clear awareness of the very special human being who was under his care. Dr. Georgiades is an astute student, there is no doubt, and will certainly "pay it forward" increasingly with his current and future patients, colleagues and LIFE.

Yesterday, I received my first copy of a subscription to Sunset magazine. On the very last page, there was a beautiful photo of a MaiTai and a delicious-sounding recipe for Leroy's favorite concoction. I believe I'll be making that lovely drink soon, and will offer up a toast to Leroy - who has altered the universe in his own unique and wonderful manner.

This quote by the esteemed and beloved journalist and writer, Eudora Welty, also speaks of Leroy, I'm fairly certain:

"My continuing passion is to part a curtain, that invisible veil of indifference that falls between us and that blinds us to each other's presence, each other's wonder, each other's human plight."

We're all in this together, aren't we?

Lifting with love~

Sent by Kim Forester | 1:26 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, I continue to find the medical team's perspective so fascinating, so thanks again for collecting them. Their take on living, and dying with cancer, is so different from one another and also different from ours as well. It makes you realize that they are as individual as their patients (duh). Yet sometimes I think we expect them all to be the best, the most perfect and wonderful doctors ever - because honestly, we all deserve the best, most perfect and wonderful doctors. It's helpful to see their human side, to find out how they really feel about their patients. I wish their was a way to hear from the cold, distant and hurried doctors out there - but I guess they wouldn't really want to contribute to a blog like this, would they?!

Sent by Gretchen Hoag | 1:29 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Thank you Dr. G for the beautiful post, you are selling your self a little short. May be as some one said earlier knowing Leroy brought the best on every one he met.
Peace be with you Laurie.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly | 1:29 PM ET | 08-28-2008

I am continually amazed at the power of the well written word. All of the comments on this blog have been so powerful and helpful. The medical professionals speak from their hearts describing their difficult jobs. I add my thanks.

I agree with Brit (8/27 - 10:19 a.m) that there is a need for a place for information to those living with cancer. I just received a 5 page e-mail from a friend that gave really helpful everyday ideas, most of which I didn't know. Like if you put a dryer sheet in your pocket it keeps mosquitoes away plus if you copy the primates and peel bananas from the bottom and you don't have to take all those pesky little 'stringy' things off.

Anyway, I know there are lessons we learn as we live with cancer that would be informative to be compiled in one place.

Some ideas: Get dental work done before chemo since you won't be able to do it during the treatments. Also, I found out from my dentist that after my lung cancer surgery, I had to wait for 6 months to have my teeth cleaned since so much bacteria is released during the process that travels all over the body and my system could not ward it off.

So many of us learned of radiofrequency ablation from Leroy. I asked my surgeon if I was a candidate. I was told that the diagnostic tests could not definitively confirm the "spots" on the lung were cancer and that was a precondition for the procedure. Therefore, I had surgery and first hand observation confirmed it was cancer with a resulting lobectomy removing the whole lobe.

Lastly, my personal experience has taught me that receiving physical therapy, especially knowlegeable massages, have been invaluable to making me feel as good as I do today. These pieces of information have been important to make my life better on this difficult path. I'm sure all of you have information that would be helpful. If there is a website already, I would be pleased to hear of it.

To Laurie in NJ - wishing you many 1-2-3 lifts in your journey.

Thanks to Laurie and all the bloggers, regular and otherwise - I have come to care so much for what happens to you all.

Sent by Sara in MD | 1:47 PM ET | 08-28-2008

So articulate and eloquent -- an outstanding tribute to an outstanding guy (and Laurie, of course!)

Sent by Nancy from Canada | 2:18 PM ET | 08-28-2008

The thing that really scares me is that with all the wizards & the boys in the basement, Leroy still died.

Sent by Kathy | 2:18 PM ET | 08-28-2008

1-2-3 LIFT!!!

Thank you Laurie, and thank you to all the wizards and angels that have spoken to us in this blog. I agree that there are things that badly need fixing in the system, but there are so many positives as well - All the people that work in this field deserve our respect and prayers.

I hope you continue to feel our positive energy Laurie - take care of yourself and try to find something to laugh at, when you can.

Danni

Sent by Dannielle Higgins, Traverse City, MI | 2:24 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dr. Georgiades,
I know you probably won't read this, but thank you for today's post. Most often out here, we're in the dark regarding medical procedures and the perspective of our doctors. Your comments are profound.

Thank you too, Laurie. These posts are so helpful.

Sent by Paulette | 2:48 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Dr. Georgiades,

You may never read what we write in response to your post, however, what I read is the understanding that separates patients with cancer from those without. They tend not to want to think of themselves, they do not necessarily want to be reminded of what lies ahead. Simply they do not want it to always be about them. They try to separate themselves from their disease.

Leroy fought, lived, and achieved so much. There is definitely a message to learned from the blog, Laurie, and now from the people that cared for him. Don't sell yourself short.

Thank you.

To Graham,
sorry to hear about the "speed bumps." We'll lift too, if you want.

Sent by Sue Chap | 2:48 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie
Thanks for continuing the blog with those whose lives were touched by Leroy's and your journey......there are so many.....good to hear some benefited from the same treatments and doctors.

just some info on possible new legislation:
Kennedy-Hutchison Comprehensive Cancer Legislation
Senators Edward Kennedy (D-MA) and Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX) are developing bipartisan comprehensive cancer legislation, with the help of the Komen Advocacy Alliance and other cancer organizations, which will redouble our efforts in the war against cancer. While the final legislative language is still being drafted, we know the Senators are calling for increasing the federal investment to reinvigorate the fight against cancer, focusing on translational research so new discoveries and breakthroughs in the laboratory make their way to patients' bedsides as quickly as possible, and removing barriers in the research process that hinder new discoveries -- including promoting collaboration, public-private partnerships and engaging younger researchers.

Sent by Pam Thompson | 2:48 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Sometimes it's hard to read the posts here because we are walking the same halls of Hopkins that Leroy & Laurie did. We know the same waiting rooms, the doctors, the nurses... we are having similar conversations now that Leroy & Laurie once did. Trying to make our way through these difficult decisions. But it helps to know we're not alone.

Continued good wishes & peace to all those walking these same paths.

http://waegerwillwin.blogspot.com/

Sent by M Rodgers | 2:55 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie and to Leroy's Wizards: many many thanks for sharing your thoughts. You give a voice of humanity for the profession that takes care of us cancer patients.

Sent by Dorothy - Los Angeles | 3:26 PM ET | 08-28-2008

A wonderful tribute to Leroy, Laurie. Lovely and sweet and honest. And another glimpse into how treating people with cancer impacts the thoughts of the doctors. Thank you both for sharing. Sending hugs to you, Laurie.

Sent by annie | 3:50 PM ET | 08-28-2008

I am so thankful to have the caregivers' points of view expressed here, and so eloquently, too. To hear such sensitive and thoughtful reflections about the experience of caring for a patient as intelligent, determined and interested in the "big picture" of cancer is enlightening.
Having read Leroys' words, and had conversation with him here for over two years left me in no doubt that he would be many nurses and doctors "most unforgettable character". To learn that he was using what he learned in his dual role as patient and journalist to encourage changes in practice and thought to improve the lot of the rest of us left behind dealing with cancer is heart-warming.
I know that you are regularly getting requests for the blog to be published in book form, and for the Discovery special to be released on DVD. I'm asking again...PLEASE! Leroy can continue making an impact on Cancer World for patients, caregivers and researchers alike. Don't let his words fade out.

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 5:09 PM ET | 08-28-2008

What a beautiful post. So healing! I see that Leroy's physicians loved him the same as us. We have all learned so much from Leroy's efforts. There must have been many days that he didn't really feel up to writing, but did it regardless. As I continue down the cancer road, I will try to remember "what matters is the trip and not the destination".

Love to all,
Betty

Sent by Betty K. Lewis | 5:17 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie, I thought todays post was very open. It seems Leroy had quite a connection with almost all he touched. This certainly is verified bu this Blog and its continuing life. The posts are informative and yet somehow very personal. Lets face it, Leroy had some great Doctors!!

Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 5:23 PM ET | 08-28-2008

While my son was receiving treatment at Hopkins, I often wondered if there was some sort of standard not just for medical skills and training that the staff at Hopkins had to surpass, but also a standard for humanity. Nearly every person we dealt with - from the pediatric oncology nurses, to the oncologists, to the surgeons, the anesthesiologists, even the custodial staff - dealt with us with compassion, tenderness, and a much-needed sense of humor. How do they find all these people who helped us in so many ways - ways that we never expected? We will never be able to adequately express our thanks for everything they did. How do you care for children with cancer on a daily basis and still come to work with a smile on your face? They are a miracle unto themselves.

Sent by Paula | 5:47 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie and All,
More great words from the medical team. I was one of the ones that had hope for the RFA for Neil. Unfortunately, he was not a candidate for the procedure. He did have a wonderful caring team as well.
I have been back to see them as it was important for me to thank the team that took care of us as well. They fought hard, supported us and gave us the hope and love we needed to keep moving forward. They were honest and forth right with us and told us the raw truth. It hurt but we were grateful they did. It was important for us to know what our options, if any, were. Neil was so courageous and always so hopeful.
Graham, I am happy to hear you are still here...we would miss your wonderful and wise comments.
Kim F., I enjoy reading your posts!
Sasha, how are you holding up and how is John doing?
Al and Eileen P. and all, continued prayers!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 5:51 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Hi Everyone.

Laurie, another great posting. I don't agree with someone who suggested that Dr. G was being a bit arrogant by not reading today's blog. For all the good these medical people do, I think it would be very hard to separate the professional life from the personal. Thank God they can do what they do--I know that I couldn't. My heart would break with each case. I asked Pat's oncologist to take care of herself--it seemed that her caring and compassion, along with her expertise, made her a good candidate to burn out. What a loss that would be!

Graham, I think that it's a wonderful idea to make Leroy's 'travels and tribulations' in Cancer World a 'must read' for medical students.

Laurie, the dog idea is a good one. Pat died in April; since I work in a school system (cognitive impaired kids) I had the summer off. Truthfully, some days it was only because of the dogs that I got out of bed. They needed me--I couldn't let them down. They've got a lot of love to give.

Still lifting with hugs and prayers.

Sent by Kathy Barney from Michigan | 6:42 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Thanks so much for sharing.

Laurie... many lifts.

Sent by Jen | 6:53 PM ET | 08-28-2008

To Laurie Hirth............thank you so much for your kind thoughts.......I'm taking one day at a time........I wish the best for you.......healing energy sent your way.

Sent by sasha | 7:41 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Kathy @ 2:18 PM:

We're dancing as fast as we can down here in the basement. Please forgive us. I can tell you, if things could move quicker, I might not be entering the dating world again in my early 40s.

Sasha and Jeanne, thanks for your well-wishes. Life just walked up to me and said "here's the only opportunity I have for happiness at this moment," and I was pretty floored. Caught totally off-guard.

Sasha, I wish nothing but the best for you and John. I know what the road is like.

There *is* life after this monster, if it's the right time and you're open to it.

Nikki...I sincerely hope it's not rebound. But even if it is, I'll take the hurt to come over the desolation that has been. I bet I have a lot more hurt coming, whether with this one or not. I've missed having a real reason to function for a couple of years. It's been nice for the past week to have something to look forward to...someone that I can relate to, someone that shares my humor, someone that likes me for me and knows what I've been through and doesn't run away. You all are great, but I can't hug each of you at night, much as I'd like to.

But this one, I can, if I want. We don't see each other much, but that keeps it from getting old or routine.

When we went out last weekend, I noticed a LiveStrong bracelet and asked point blank who it was for.

"My mother," came the reply.

So many of us have been hit so hard by this.

Sent by Wolf | 7:51 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Laurie,

Your choice of the word "wizard" is apt, as one of its old meanings is "wise [wo]man or sage".

Equally apt, given this week's posts, are these lines from a blessing from the collection "To Bless the Space Between Us" by John O'Donohue:

"...May you never doubt the gifts
you bring;
Rather, learn from these frontiers
Wisdom for your own heart...."

Not sorcery but truth. Not talking over but listening to. Not magic. Just hope.

From Maureen in Arlington, Va.

Sent by Maureen Doallas | 8:09 PM ET | 08-28-2008

I have been telling my daughter the advantages of age this week. Of course, there's always the first advantage: you're still here. The second is the growing understanding that we only do the best we can do given our limitations, our temperament, and our support systems. I've lived long enough that I've witnessed both the "don't tell the patient anything, for their own good" fad in medicine, and the "be brutally honest with the patient, it's his/her right to know."
Who knows what's right?

Life clings to life. And it is true that the "outcome" of all our lives is predetermined. It is only a matter of how we get to the final stepping off point.

I don't know if I will ever have a recurrence, I was one of the blessed who was diagnosed, very very early. But, I do know that I will always remember the extraordinary compassion I experienced during my treatment.

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 8:23 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Amen, Dr. Georgiades...

Still lifting Laurie...prayers and love to all my blogger family...

Sent by Faun | 8:54 PM ET | 08-28-2008

Dear Christos
I felt moved to read that you consider you may have failed leroy. I suppose in a perfect kind of world we'd all like to live for ever, or til we are 105 or something. An early death wouldnt be the preferred option for many.
But can you also see the broader picture that you helped to give leroy time? That you gave leroy more time to be able to continue his impact on others as well as his life.
The outcome was unchanged but you were able to extend the time we all had with him. You have also brought new ideas to the table, new options for treatments. i for one thank you for that.
JJ

Sent by JJ | 4:06 AM ET | 08-29-2008

Aloha Laurie-Please continue this blog. I feel connected to you, Leroy and this "family". I think Leroy would want it. Have you gotten your dog yet?

Sent by Georgia Norton | 12:11 AM ET | 08-30-2008



   
   
   
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Leroy Sievers

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