Of course, Laurie. Please know that we are all here for you, for as long as you need!

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 7:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie

Consider yourself "lifted"........

Sent by Kim Moore | 7:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1-2-3 LIFT!
Hug & Kisses friend!
Thinking of you....

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 7:32 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you and help you heal. My husband is almost at the end of his journey. I will look to you as a role model.

Sent by sasha | 7:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

for as long as you need Laurie, and even after that ... We am here , lifting you up...
blessings

Sent by Francesca in Zurich, Switzerland | 7:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I left off with, "a boy and his dog," and did not see the blog again until this morning. I could see it coming, but held out hope as Leroy modeled so profoundly. I have been in your place when it was the loss of my mother, and some years later my sister, both from cancer. As I tell my daughter, "I can't walk around sad everyday, I have to allow the sad thoughts to come and then go, and keep the happy memories with me." It sounds simple, but it is how I cope.
I am very sorry for your loss, and I am very grateful for the chance to have shared in a little of Leroy's life and insight. You both did something very positve with such a negative life altering situation. That is quite a memory to be able to carry with you.
-Rebecca

Sent by Rebecca Muntean | 7:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You know we were all just waiting to be asked! Of course we will keep lifting you up. Like many others here, I am a daily Leroy's blog reader. Because of Leroy, and you and the support you gave, a whole community began to grow and blossom here, like a beautiful garden. The beauty is in the spirit of each person who comes to give and receive, to share hopes and dreams, and to make a connection on this earthly part of the journey. Everyone is welcome at this table, so pull up a chair and stay a while. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and you will continue to be.

Sent by Lisa D. | 7:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
We will keep lifting you for as long as you need it, and probably longer. You walked the journey with Leroy, and are still walking, and we are here to walk with you.

One, two, three, lift!!!
Sending you much love,

Sent by Laura | 7:42 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Just one step at a time Laurie. Take it one second if you need to. Take your time, do not let others try to hurry it along for you. I can honestly say at this moment that I can feel your pain. My husband has been gone for 20 months and I still miss his every second.

Sent by Cindy | 7:43 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie I am sending more "lifts" then you can count from a tiny little town in Upper Michigan. You have so many people wanting to comfort you in all parts of the world. We stand beside you and help you through these difficult days ahead.

Sent by Rose | 7:43 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we will be here for you and lift you for as long as you need. You don't even need to say please. It is our privilege and honor for all that you and Leroy have given to us through your words on this blog. We've never met, but I've been where you are now, and my heart is breaking for you. Take things a moment at a time, be gentle with yourelf, and know that everyone here is "lifing" you with much love.

Sent by Kelly in Maryland | 7:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Let me be the first among hundreds today to offer my "virtual" arms to hold you up. And know that for all those who post today offering their strength, there are still many more people out there offering their uplifting prayers. Lean on us all as long as you need to. It will be an honor, and the least we can do.

Sent by Lisa Laico | 7:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie, We are lifting you and holding you tight in our arms. You are part of us as we are part of you. How much can most of us hurt without knowing the wonderful person that Leroy was. I read Ted Koppel's tribute and a tribute by a pastor who has his own cancer blog - Leroy was our hero - he gave of himself as long as he could. He gave the most intimate and honest parts of being sick and he was not bittter. You were his love and his light and we love you, Laurie, and we are here for you - I know that I am one of thousands who wish that we could hug you and tell you how much we learned from Leroy.

G-d bless you and he will also give you strength.

Love, Janice Goldberg White

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 7:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie -

I came to this blog because I am still mourning, still missing, still remembering people who I lost many **years** ago.

What you have been through these past years - that is not something you just "get over". Lots of time and compassion.

I am happy to be there for you to lift your spirits - or whatever lifting you need for as long as you want.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have been where you are, so many of us have, Nikki, Bruce, Michael, just to name a few. Bruce once told me that it does get easier. I swear, I thought he was crazy. Some days, the emptiness is overwhelming and some days I can't stop crying. But he was right, it does get easier.
I come here for the love I know that will be here not just for me, but for everyone. Everyone here knows the ravages of cancer, the pain it inflicts, the heartache. Here I am not alone. Here, just maybe, something I say can help someone else to cope with their own battle.
Leroy's words always helped us to understand it. His words brought sunshine into gloomy days and gave us all hope for a better tomorrow.
Hang onto his words, his love and his compassion. He is in a better place now, he doesn't have cancer.
Just like we reach out to each other, we are now here for you too! We cry with you dear Laurie.
You have so much love here waiting for you and our arms are open ready to catch you if you ever think you are going to fall. We love you too Laurie.

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we will "lift" as long as you need us.. We are ALWAYS here for you.. Just ask.. Bless you and may each day be more peaceful and easier...

Sent by Patsy Elmore from Knoxville, TN | 7:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we are here for you as long as you need us. You are in my prayers...
Sending you hugs,
Mary C.

Sent by Mary Cannon | 7:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh laurie. Now the tough part is here now.You were such a hero thru all of this and now you do not have your arena to be a hero in.. that too is a big loss. This blog is a good family and good families lift each other up, so know that I for one am here and understand your multiple losses. But if I was talking to my daughter I would tell her to take the time to catch her breath and know that this is new path that she have been given, take peace in the opportunities ahead and cherish the new path. I think you have very large family that wants you to be lifted to the place you are meant to be. Take care , be brave.
XOXOXOXJody Salem

Sent by jody Salem | 7:54 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Always and forever and a day. I can't imagine your anguish. I have cried my eyes out. I still come here every morning for my dose of Leroy, his uniqe spin on things and his optimism. Leroy and you, Laurie and this community are my morning ritual and it served me well for a very long time. Whatever you and Leroy got out of it, please know I did as well probably more so. So for as long as you will be here, so will I. Cancer can't pull us apart that easily.

Sent by JaeMoyer | 7:54 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I pray you will have strength, Laurie. We're still in this together.

Sent by Lorrain Cook | 7:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We've got ours arms around you and they will stay there for the count. Caring thoughts are winging your way too.

Sent by Susan | 7:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, My heart goes out to you at this sad time. Please remember to take time to do something nice for yourself, whether it's food (a good corned beef sandwich & matzoh ball soup can do wonders for my morale!) , a facial, or curling up with a favorite book. We're here for you.

Sent by Heather | 7:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

PS: Leroy's Obituary was in both the NY Times and The Washington Post today. Very touching obituaries.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/19/arts/television/19sievers.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/18/AR2008081802190.html

Sent by Liz L. | 8:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie, I'd come and sit and hold you tightly if I could!
You have been so generous to all of us as you were witnessing Leroy's last weeks. You loved him more, but each of us loved him in a special way. Over and over I have read others' beautiful expressions of grief and love for a man they knew only by his voice and his written word. And in all those writings, love for you is there too.
What an amazing thing to observe and be a part of.
We all tried to help and are honored to continue to do so as you deal with this enormous loss.
Across the miles I send you healing energy and love.

Sent by Harriet | 8:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie-
When my mother passed away from non-Hodgins lymphoma, her best friend told me, "The pain of the grief will not dimimish, but you will get stronger at bearing it." This community that Leroy created will help you build that strength for as long as you ask, and when the strength seems to have fled, we will count to three, and lift.

What a gift he has given you, and all of us.

Sent by Janet Marie | 8:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Sweet Laurie,

I think, it is safe to say as long as we are a community and loyal members of the LA we will embrace you, support you, and help you through this leg of the journey. You are loved and not alone.

With prayers of comfort and healing.

Sent by Sue chap | 8:05 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, hang in there and know you are loved.

Sent by sarah | 8:05 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
WE ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!! Feel our arms around you as you go through all this. Feel Leroy, he's here you just can't see him.

Sent by Aurella | 8:07 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I lift your name in prayer each night along with Leroy's. My hope and my prayers are that God may bring you peace in this difficult time and that God may bless and keep Leroy's soul forever.

The lifting continues and I hope that you can feel the prayers and warmth from all of us.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,

I know that the hundreds of us in "Leroy's Army" will do whatever we can to help ease your loss...if, indeed, that is possible.

Your willingness to allow all of us to share the intimate details of Leroy's dance with the demon and the unwavering honesty of both of you created a rarely established bond between strangers.

"All together now: one,two...and three".

Gentle hugs to you Laurie.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 8:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie~ I left town for a few days and sat down this a.m. to "catch up" on you and Leroy. I'm am so saddened and shocked. Honestly, I had expected Leroy to be that miracle we all hear about. Maybe it was denial, maybe it was my general belief in the grace of God, am not sure, but I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. I will contine to pray for you. I hope there's a way you're finding some comfort and peace, although I do realize how empty that sounds.

What you and Leroy have done for so many of us through this blog is amazing. The magnitude of your kindness and grace will not be forgotten!

May God Bless you today and always.

Your friend ~ Tracy

Sent by Tracy | 8:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, it was this time last yr & I was in your shoes. I send you my strength & prayers. xoxo Sarah

Sent by Sarah | 8:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, for as long as you need us Leroy's army will be glad to do the lifting for you and everyone in Cancer World. lac

Sent by Lou Ann Caywood | 8:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,
I have followed yours and Leroy's journey for the last year. I know how hard this is. I lost my husband after a 3 year battle with Pancreatic cancer.Lean on those around you.Take time to mourn and take as much time as you need.You have to go through this new journey and believe me you will someday be able to smile at the memories of your life together. There will come a time when your thoughts will recall the years you had before the beast. Know we are all here in cyber space for you. Virtual hugs coming your way!

Sent by Kimmy | 8:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

This blog has been a part of my morning reading since I started on my own adventure in Cancer World in 2006. It has a been a source of inspiration, resolve and not a few laughs. I will miss his insight.
Laurie, you have my most profound sympathy, along with with my thanks to you both for your help these many years. I, and many others, will think of you each morning for a long, long time.

Sent by Tom in Columbus, Ohio | 8:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have been "lurking" on this blog for over a year and a half. I stumbled upon it one day and have read it daily treasuring the insight into what cancer patients experience on their journey through "Cancer World". Cancer is common in my family and I wanted the knowledge of what its victims were thinking and feeling so that maybe I could be more comforting and feel more useful to them. As it turns out, my mother was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and the blog has helped reduce some of the fear of the unknown.

Over the many months I came to find myself rooting for Leroy in his struggle, feeling joy when his scans reported good news and anguish when he would take a turn for the worse. During the times when Leroy could not post updates, your posts kept us in the loop as one big virtual family. You've been so unselfish sharing with us all just as he did.

I was in China watching the Olympics and when I came back one of the first things that I did was check the blog. I was so sad and shocked to see the news about Leroy. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. If I could find a way to help you as you and Leroy have helped us all, I would gladly do it. For now, I will just stop "lurking" and voice to you my condolences and thanks.

Shirley
Cincinnati, OH

Sent by Shirley Moran | 8:18 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I listened to NPR's Talk of the Nation yesterday and got to hear Leroy's voice again. Oh that voice. That laugh. That wisdom. I was happy to be reminded of the amazing life Leroy lead. But I am still so sad, especially thinking of you. It must feel like a big, empty space around you now. Remember that Leroy's love for you is still there. Wish I could be there to give you a hug, lift you off the ground and twirl you around that space. I'm not big, but I know Leroy would be here to help.

peace and love,

pat

Sent by patricia benson | 8:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie- I've counted to 3 and and am trying to lift. Please know you are not alone.

Sent by Barbara Goun | 8:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, Laurie. He will raise you up on Eagle's wings, hold you in the breath of dawn. Make you to shine like the sun and hold you in the palm of his hand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rRea9qnjK4

I miss Leroy and look forward to meeting him in the afterlife, hearing his stories and deep laugh. He lifted me up.

Sent by Colleen | 8:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I am strong and willing to keep lifting as long as need be. Thank you for asking. Your friend, Tina

Sent by ITina Oehser | 8:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Our thoughts and prayers are there for you every moment... no counting required.

Sent by Tom | 8:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, consider yourself not only lifted, but wrapped warmly in our arms. You are not alone. Thank you for allowing us in your life. I am so sorry for your loss. May God give you strength to move forward.

God bless you Laurie.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:28 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely, Laurie. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I was diagnosed at stage 4 about 6 months after Leroy, and almost 6 yrs after initial cancer dx. I did not read the blog from the beginning, but when I finally discovered it, I could not believe his posts. He hit the nail on the head every time. It was exactly how I was feeling, except for the career of course!
I cried when I read that he passed, so I know that your hurt must be a million times harder.
I will be praying for comfort and peace for you!
Hugs & prayers,
Linda

Sent by Linda Toland | 8:28 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh my dear, we will be here for you for as long as you need us because in reality we still need you. We are all suffering a loss without Leroy and I have to admit that personally I'm a little disorientated. We will find our way through this together.

Sent by jen barad | 8:28 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, Wow. It's strange to start a comment with "Laurie" and not "Leroy," but you know that we've always meant both of you.

We are lifting... just as we've always lifted both of you. We just need to lift a little higher right now.

With love... compassion... and hope...

Sent by Colleen in Milwaukee | 8:29 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
1... 2... 3... and lift.

It seems strange, but I find myself echoing Leroy's words. You do not walk alone.

I lost my mother to cancer many years ago. When I first saw the "My Cancer" link on NPR, I ignored it for weeks and weeks. I'm not sure why, perhaps I was pretending that cancer wasn't in my life any more. Finally I clicked on it, and have read it faithfully.

You are in all our thoughts and prayers.

Always,
Sokol

Sent by Sokol | 8:29 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we are all there lifting. We know the difficult time this is for you. Just take it one step at a time. We will keep you in our prayers and ask for strength and guidence during this time.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:30 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, In my work with women who have experienced violence, we use this ritual at the beginning and ending of retreats: we gather in a circle holding hands and softly chant "We are a circle, within a circle, without beginning, without end". We move closer and closer until we're a tight little pack of people, continuing to sing. Know that you, too, are part of a circle, within a circle - without beginning and without end. We're with you.
~Laura

Sent by Laura | 8:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

123 LIFT! Laurie, I think Leroy is smiling at what a neat blog entry you made this morning! He isn't hurting anymore--and neither is my Dad, who passed two weeks before Leroy. This morning, I'll be returning the call of our Hospice bereavement specialist. He left two really nice books at my house yesterday and a note while I was at work. I'll be calling him to set up a time for Mom and I to meet with him. Maybe you would be interested in meeting with your Hospice bereavement counselor?? They're good. It takes several folks to "lift" so come on everyone--123 LIFT! Love to you Laurie--Linda

Sent by Linda Lee | 8:32 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Of COURSE!! We will keep lifting you for as long as you need and beyond!! It is the very least your army can do for you!!

Thank you again and always!

Sent by Judie in CT | 8:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

It is our honor to lift you - and to celebrate Leroy's wings while we mourn that his journey has left us behind him for now. Death leaves a hole in our hearts, but maybe that's so when it is our time to fly to those we have loved we won't be too heavy for liftoff. We are with you - now and in the days ahead.

Sent by Gete | 8:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Close your eyes. Imagine you are gently floating on a sea of hands. The sky is blue. The sun is warm. There is a soft breeze. One pair of those thousands of hands belong to Leroy. He is smiling. We are all lifting you up. You are safe. There are no worries now. There is no pain anymore.

Sent by Marilyn | 8:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Good morning Laurie,
I am truly sad to have lost such a wonderful human being. Having said that I cannot express to you how much it meant that you both shared your journey with us. I am comforted to know that Leroy is at peace and no longer in pain. In time, you too will feel less sadness and begin to rebuild your life. Cherish all the memories you have - they will provide you with laughter, joy, pride and sadness. Please know that we are all here for you and remember a donut every now and then can be very therapeutic. I don't think I will ever look at a birthday cake without thinking of Leroy! May peace be with you - we are all praying for you.

Sent by Nancy Owen | 8:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Many prayers are being said to lift you Laurie. We would do anything you ask. You have all our support.
May God Bless you at this time.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

May you be comforted by his memory, his smile, his wit, his strength.

And know that you have friends who are thinking about you.

Sent by CBM, Conshohocken, PA | 8:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We will be here. For as long as you need or want. "That's what friends are for". Hang in there.

Sent by Beth | 8:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -
I knew Leroy through his generous words, which I miss so much. My thoughts have been with you constantly, even more so in the past few days. Let all of our thoughts surround you and lift you.....

Sent by nancy | 8:45 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
A friend told me
H-A-L-T
Avoid being hungry, angry lonely, or tired. You may have to remind yourself a few times.

Sent by Irene | 8:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

For as long as you need, Laurie.

Sent by Renay | 8:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I've been reading Leroy's blog for a year now and I will miss him and his wit. My FIL recently passed away from cancer--he was in hospice care and home--in cancer world at the end that is as good as it gets. I'm sure Leroy thought so too.

Sent by Michele Amster | 8:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I think what comforts and lifts us the most in such a loss is the tremendous value and richness of the life lived. Such a gift, was a life such as Leroy's, and we have it here, in our hearts and minds. It's there. It lives. Adding substance and depth to our understanding and most of all, again, a richness to how we think and live oursel ves now.

I hope the celebration of that, of how Leory lives, in another way, comforts you alongside the grief.

Best,
Laura, a longtime reader

Sent by Laura G. | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

of course! To steal a line from Lenny Briscoe on Law & Order - "all day long, buddy, all day long"

Many prayers to you.

Patty

Sent by Patty | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I've never commented here before, but I offer my deepest sympathies. The true measure of a person's life is who misses him when he is gone. Leroy touched thousands of lives through this blog, and more through the documentary. He was a good man, in the truest sense of the word. I know nothing can fill the Leroy-shaped hole in your heart, but I hope that the compassion and love and beauty he left behind will ease your pain. I wish you peace.

Sent by Jennie | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie. You know, i have never sent a comment before, but your note reached me. As Leroy said, the most important thing is to have made a difference in the world and you two have both done that - above and beyond what most of us can hope for. Thinking of you...

Sent by Cathy J. | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
We will continue to count to 3...1...2...3 up! We all need this blog, the community Leroy created. You are apart of that. We will lift you up as well as anyone who needs it. Remember, we are all in this together.

Sent by Gina B | 8:50 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie, you are stronger than you know. You and Leroy have meant the world to so many of us. Consider yourself lifted, and loved. With many kind thoughts and prayers, Namaste.
Susan

Sent by Susan | 8:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

You don't even have to ask - everyone is and will keep "lifting" you.

It's ok and will be ok even though right now that grief fog is hanging there. It will lift with with help of family, friends and all of us unseen friends out here in the world.

Take care...

Sent by Julie | 8:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -- As long as you want.

Sent by M Wms | 8:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely!!! We're still here Laurie.

Sent with love...
Rhonda

Sent by Rhonda Howard | 8:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We will lift you as long as you need it. Leroy fought a good fight, he stayed the course. We will continue the fight for him. Godspeed.

Sent by Annetta Kastner | 8:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

There are such mixed emotions when we lose someone we love. If that person has been sick for a long time we have to be grateful that they are no longer in pain. But we also are hurting because we have lost our loved one, the person we shared our life with, the person we laughed and cried with. My prayers are with you and Leroy.

Linda

Sent by Linda | 8:54 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

We're all so sorry about Leroy's passing and feel so much sympathy for you having to go on without him. He truly was what his name means in French, "the king". Best wishes always, Pat A.

Sent by Pat Astle | 8:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hang on Laurie, you WILL get through all of this. I'm sure there is a voice deep inside of you that is saying I will go on. You were blessed with 20 years with a wonderful man and wonderful memories. The future holds more wonderful memories to come and Leroy is happy about that.

Sent by Mary Lynne Carlisle | 8:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
What a shock to hear about Leroy on "CBS Sunday Morning". I cried out "But they just got hospice in; he just got his hospital bed", and fell into mourning. I've been reading Leroy's blog since the beginning, but have never commented before. As a cancer patient, the hardest thing for me was the thought of causing pain to my family. So I hope and pray that, as broken-hearted as you surely are, time will heal your heart and the pain will slowly be replaced by happy memories with this incredibly generous man. We all knew you were his anchor and how lucky he was to have you (and how hard for you). And when he was too tired to write, you knew we were waiting and wrote for him. Thank you so much. Now everyone needs to know that you will somehow be okay, so I hope you can bring yourself to continue with this for a while. You have my heartfelt sympathy, and deepest gratitude. Sincerely,
Mary Jane Sturgis

Sent by Mary Jane Sturgis | 8:58 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I'm so sorry to hear the news. I was gone over the weekend and just found out.

You were really there for Leroy and gave him the greatest gift one person can do for another. He never would have left you willingly, so hold on to that.

I'm thinking of you. It's hard after someone close is lost to cancer. My mother's decline was very fast. I recall thinking how intensely poignant every bit of those last days were, and how exhausting and difficult it is to live like that. If you find yourself feeling extraordinarily tired in the aftermath, it's probably because you have essentially run an emotional marathon.

I think Leroy would be pleased that you can use the blog to be lifted up.

Sent by Celeste | 8:59 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - you must know that in the midst of your grief and ours, that this community of support that Leroy led is still here for you, for whatever you need. I think as we all move forward, back into our "normal" lives (which is now different than it was last week), what Leroy would want us all to continue is the honest and frank discussions around what it means to have cancer, to be a caregiver of someone with cancer, and in general how to be a better human being. Perhaps one thing you might choose to do to help this community is to educate us all from your perspective, what it's like to be the caregiver - so that the patients have a better idea of what their counterparts are going through. Just a thought....
In the meantime, you have an immense group of people in your corner :)

Lift!

Sent by Martha in FL | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

laurie--you are in my thoughts and prayers, with love deirdre

Sent by deirdre Gaffney | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

For almost two years, I have come here first thing each morning. We will be here to LIFT you as much and as long as you need.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I wish there was something wise I could say to comfort you at this time. Trust that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Mary Verdi | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
We will lift you for as long as you need. My prayer is that you will find peace and strength. Remember Cancer cannot destroy our memories, invade our souls or steal eternal life.
Lots of strong holding hugs
Paula

Sent by Paula Swink | 9:02 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, my Mom wanted me to send you a comment from her, also...

Laurie, I am So Sorry for Your Loss, I know how You feel, I lost my Husband, Frank, about 3 weeks ago!! God Bless You....Love, Jolene

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie-Here's "lifting" your spirits in the face of such sadness. Long time reader, first time commenter. Leroy touched us all. His warmth will be missed by many.

Sent by Traci in Ohio | 9:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: We ARE here for you!!! We will hold you up as long as you need us to. ONE, TWO, THREE - LIFT, with all our love and blessings to you. This is a new journey for you, but KNOW you are NOT ALONE, WE ARE HERE!!!! Feel the HUGS!!!!

Sent by Joanie Weaver, Front Royal, Va | 9:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, Laurie, of course we can! and we will! by lifting you, we are all lifted. We are all in this together. In this life, in this struggle to stay present while appreciating the past and anticipating the future.

We are here for you. Please let our thoughts and prayers and love lift you up and comfort you in your grief.

With tears and heatfelt compassion,

Sent by Kathlelen | 9:04 AM ET | 08-19-2008

As long as you need it, whatever it takes, Laurie.

Don't be surprised if many people -- kind people, well-intentioned people -- say stuff that makes you want to scream, be mean, or vomit. I could barely stand to hear a lot of people's well wishes because they were fraught with beliefs I either didn't share, or didn't share at the time. Plus, being a widow at "our" age (I'm 54) is an odd kettle of fish. Most are a lot older.

I read exactly and only 2 books I could relate to: The Year of Magical Thinking (Didion) and CS Lewis's A Grief Observed. I couldn't bear all of the "grieving" books with the lavendar covers and the dead flowers.

FWIW, I'm still in the needing a lift place a bit, too, 4-1/2 months later. I think it takes awhile. As I joke to my friends "I'm eating/I'm sleeping" because that's what everybody asks. And I'm working, because I must and its theraputic. But, the entire fabric of my life has changed, in ways that others find hard to understand. Losing a spouse is not the same as losing a parent, not at all. Sometimes people will drive you nuts with their likening of your loss to theirs, when they are not at all cognate. Learn to excuse yourself politely. You don't have to put up with it, not now.

Oh, I could go on and on but will stop. I'm there for you, though, and have a little insight into where you are.

Sent by Teri | 9:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, we will continue to be here with you, supporting you and providing as much love and support as you need for as long as you need. This is a given, so please know you never need to ask this of us.....we are honored. Blessings to you today and in the hours and days and weeks to come. We are here, we are your army....

Sent by Karen | 9:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Lifting you up....

Sent by Alaina | 9:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Prayers in the Air...from Indiana

Sent by KELLY | 9:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I have you in my prayers. I have been reading this blog for over a year now. It is funny that none of us know each other but yet we feel like family. Please know that all of the "blog world" is lifting you and hugging you too. We may not be there face to face but our energy is there.

Karen

Sent by Karen C. | 9:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I am here to help "lift" you. This blog means so much to me. Your openness and honesty have literally left me gasping, crying, laughing, and hurting with you and for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by E.L. | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for you loss. I've read Leroy's blog faithfully and truly admire his strength, courage and his unending ability to put into words what everyone with cancer has ever felt. God bless you.

Sent by Brenda Needham | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Whatever you need...you are in my thoughts...I have been there and I have to say it helped to know people were thinking about me...eventhough sometimes I could not even let it in much...
Best...
Sandra Yudilevich

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I pray that you can find some rest by leaning on the arms of your family and friends and on all of us who knew and loved Leroy through his blog. We lift you in love.

Sent by Elaine | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Anything. Any time.

Go easy on yourself. In my case, 18 months out, I still ache and I still have bad days when I can't talk about it to anyone.

You've lived through hell. Recovery is slow.

Much love

Sent by Bruce | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1...2....3...lift!

Like many, I cried a bit when I saw the news.

I'd become used to reading Leroy's updates everyday, as a reminder that I should squeeze as much life as I can out of every moment.

I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling, or what you need. All I can do is hope, and pray, that you'll love and support to keep you strong.

Sent by Sarah Cunningham | 9:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Know that for every person who vocalizes their love and support through these posts, there are dozens of others who silently keep you in their thoughts. You and Leroy have touched so many people- you will never be alone. There is an entire community sending you all the love and strength in the world. Trying to give to you what you and Leroy have been giving to them (to us) fo so long.

Sent by amy | 9:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

One, two, three...LIFT. It's the least we can do for you. You now carry on the treasures in your heart of caring for the commander in chief in the war against cancer. While it was very difficult work I hope you find it a gift to you to be able to care for someone you love in that way. I lift you and all of Leroy's friends and caregivers in prayer, I lift you in my admiration for all you have done to help keep Leroy's cancer at bay for so long. I hope you will share your healing with us; let's continue to remember Leroy in big and small ways and encourage other caregivers to do the same.

Sent by Eleanor | 9:16 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie- As someone who lost a father to "the beast" and who's husband has passed (though not to cancer), I'm sure we'll all be here for as long as you need us! We have all grown to love Leroy and you - we're in this for the long run! May God be with you.

Sent by Kathy | 9:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1-2-3!

At this most difficult time, we are all here for you. Our hands are at the ready and our hearts are full of love.

Sent by Dave Jenkins | 9:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie. We are all with you Laurie. I am a three year Stage III breast cancer survivor. To this day I still worry about my husband "my care taker", my best friend, my love. How difficult this must be for you. No one wants this for the person they care about and have shared more than half their life with. I am so proud of you and Leroy. You and Leroy give us all hope and strength. Go outside, soak up the warm sun on your face. Go back inside and place warm cheek again the man you love. As you close your eyes feel me hugging you tight! Carolyn

Sent by Carolyn | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We will be here as long as you need us. I have been thinking about you and hoping that you are making it through your days. I never had cancer, but my father did. I know that is it extremely painful to lose such a crucial male figure in your life. Remembering the little things: the quirks, the different foods they loved, or the things that made them laugh - maybe at this difficult time you can look back at those and they can atleast make you smile briefly amidst the tears. We are here for you as Leroy was here for us. He was a magnificant man.

Sent by April | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Bless your heart. Leroy said that no one walks this road alone and that certainly means you too. Please know that this community that you both have created here mourns with you. Let us share a bit of the grief.
May I repeat what I said to him a few weeks ago? "Can you feel us lifting? Up you go. Steady now."
For my part, I will be out here lifting for as long as you like.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Leroy made this site about support, about it being a two way street.
just lean into us laurie and we will hold you and make the space you need.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

take care
JJ

Sent by jj | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie:

This is your old friend Zena. I want to share a couple Leroy stories.

One is from when I was a production coordinator at Nightline. I was on the phone with someone who was very rude and Leroy sat a couple desks away from me and he heard my end of the conversation. He saw I was upset so he asked for the phone number of the person I was speaking to. He picked up the phone and dialed. I had no idea what he was going to do. Leroy says: "Hi this is Leroy Sievers. Please don't ever talk to my colleague (he was my boss) Zena like that ever again. Ok? Thanks." And he hangs up.

He always looked out for me. He looked out for all of us. He taught me so much. The most important lesson: Stick up for your beliefs, and stick up for your friends.

Another story. About a year ago my bluegrass band was performing and Leroy came to the show with some of our Nightline friends. The show was packed and the door guy was trying to keep people out. So Leroy arrives and this door guy is telling Leroy he can't go in. Well no way was that gonna stop Leroy. (I think the door man was a scrawny little 18 year old who was trying to tell Leroy what to do. Riiiiight.) So Leroy made his way in and watched the concert with some of our Nightline family and after the show people were talking about Leroy with such awe. "You should have seen him, Zena!" I have no idea what he told the guy but there was no way anybody -- not a giant, not a little scrawny kid -- was going to get in the way of Leroy when he had his mind set on something.

I miss him very much, and I love you.

Zena

Sent by Zena Barakat | 9:20 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Leroy died at the same age as my dad. So this has hit me like my breath has been knock out of my body. Even though I knew he would die as I knew my dad would the reality hits so much harder than one expects. My hurt comes rolling back as fresh as the day it happened.

Laurie, I always thought the name of this blog was funny. "My Cancer" It was never just Leroy's cancer, it was all of our cancers together. We shared every moment of every feeling he had. We understood all of it. You did too.

Cancer is so maddening, so destructive, so consuming, so...dare I say....evil?? It takes over our lives and those around us and everything becomes about IT.

I hate that this blog is ending but all good things must come to an end...Why? Not only do we lose Leroy we lose the blog. What a blow. I understand ...yet I do not.

Leroy and others here showed us different ways to cope and deal with this thing called cancer. And now comes the time when they are gone and we are here to cope and deal. Such a big void to fill, hard for Laurie and hard for those left behind. Everyone says time will heal the wound. I do not say that. I say each of us has our own way of healing but like Tom Hanks in the movie "Sleepless" "You get up, you breath, you eat...etc." Until it gets easier.

My personal favorite is "There is no sorrow on Earth that Heaven cannot heal."

I hope you can find some comfort, some peace and some hope in knowing how much he was love. You must be some special person because Leroy loved you so very much and still does.

Many tender hugs, Carole

Sent by Carole | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1 - 2 - 3 ... LIFT ... continue to feel the prayers, love and support of your My Cancer blog friends. We'll be here as long as you need us, dear Laurie.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

You've got it Laurie! We will lift you up for as long as you need it, and then maybe even a bit longer. Loss and grief are so hard to understand and hard to explain, especially when mixed with so many other feelings. Leroy was so blessed to have you as a companion on this journey - now you begin your own journey as survivor. God bless you.

Sent by Jere | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

You've got it Laurie! We will lift you up for as long as you need it, and then maybe even a bit longer. Loss and grief are so hard to understand and hard to explain, especially when mixed with so many other feelings. Leroy was so blessed to have you as a companion on this journey - now you begin your own journey as survivor. God bless you.

Sent by Jere | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We have all been brought together by cancer, but we stay together because of love. And we all know love will lift us up where we belong...

Oh, geez, now I have that song playing in my head....

:o)

Sent by Teri Thomas | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, Laurie,we will keep lifting for as long as you need us to. My heart goes out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you.

Sent by Jen | 9:22 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Bless you Laurie, that you have asked for this from us. It is but one little thing we can do. One, two, three, lifting from Westford, MA.

Sent by Sheara | 9:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We're here for you Laurie.

Sent by julie | 9:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I am so grateful that you have shared so much with everyone here. You are not alone in this, not at all. I know it seems so difficult right now, and you will always feel this loss, but also remember the things that fill you up--especially the memories. You have been so strong, and you absolutely deserve a break, and to rest easy while everyone here lifts you up...for as long as you need. You are in my thoughts every day.

Sent by Kathleen Schmidt, NJ | 9:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,
Hang on, I'm lifting you now. And here's a hug, too. You can do this. That's what I learned from my Mom: other people have done this, and so can you.
Much love
Diane

Sent by Diane McNeil | 9:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We're here, as long as you wish. Take one day at a time. You are in my prayers.

Sent by Beth S | 9:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I started reading Leroy's blog in June of 2006 when my own dearest husband, Richard was diagnosed with lung cancer. Leroy's words about his illness helped filled in the gaps of what my husband could communicate to me. I particularly remember an early post to you and what you meant to him. My husband stayed with us as long as he could, and passed away in June of 2007. But I continued to read the blog. Over the last few months, it was always painful because I was reliving our own hospice decision and the loss of control and the ultimate growing closer and closer. Leroy wrote of the feeling of love and gratitude he felt towards you, but at least for me (and I suspect for you as well), it was never a chore, but a blessing for me to have that time with him. He gave me a gift by allowing me to take care of him.
I last read the blog on Friday and your lament that cancer was on the move again. Today, I signed on again and read the words about Leroy's death. Today for the first time, I knew I had to send a message to you. Thank you to Leroy and to you for your generosity in sharing your lives with all of us. It helped in inmeasurable ways.
I'm glad to hear that the messages from people who read the blog have supported you in some small way. Even over a year later, the messages from my husband's frieds are reread. Our husbands were loved and their presence in our world enriched our lives.
Lastly I can only tell you that in most ways, I still feel that Richard is with me every day. I still cry everyday, and I have to tell you that time does NOT cover the giant hole that is his physical absence. But time does create other places to walk so that we don't have to stand at the edge of that hole so often.
I will never forget Leroy. I will always honor him for what he did for me. I will always honor you for allowing him to share so much with us. Thank you. And now, my two daughter and I are standing around you, one on each side and one at the head. One, two, three ---Lift!
Wishing you strength through these days,
Linda

Sent by Linda Gerdes | 9:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have never written in to this or any blog before today but i wanted to tell you that I am lifting with all my might. I am sure we all are not as strong as you. I have read this blog since I was diagnoised with stage 3C Ovarian cancer. It has helped me more than words can say. Leroy put words to what I was experiencing with such eloquence and many times humor. It meant so much to me and he lifted me up in many of my darkest hours. So I feel honorored to be able to lift you now.

Sent by Cheryl Lambropoulos | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I can't imagine the depth of your loss. Leroy was bigger than life. His comments made me laugh, cry, and think. "Cancer World" has lost a huge friend and supporter. He made a difference. I will never forget him. Or you.

Sent by Sandi Packard | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Whatever you need, Laurie, we'll be happy to provide. You shared your husband and your life with us at a time when you could have been understandably greedy and kept every moment for yourselves.

I am missing Leroy, a friend I never met. I remember recovering from my own cancer surgery, curled up in bed, listening to Leroy's voice. I read his blog every morning when I got to work. I'd boot up the computer, pour a cup of coffee and check in on Leroy and see what he had to say about Cancer Land.

You don't know me, Laurie, and I don't know really you but you can know that in Duluth, MN there is a woman thinking of you and wishing you peace. I am looking out at the huge shining expanse of Lake Superior, with the morning sun glittering on the surface, and I', thinking of you and Leroy and wishing you the peace I see there.

Sent by K. Ives, Duluth, MN | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We'll never stop Laurie, we promise.

Sent by Karen/Jax | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

My wife was away for a few days visiting her family when I read the sad news on Friday. Even though I never knew Leroy personally, His words and thoughts have made a huge difference in my "new life" as I call it. I couldn't help getting depressed at the news and thinking about you. Thinking how you must be feeling. But I also thought about how lucky Leroy was to have you. Through Leroy's words and yours on the blog, I felt the love and the care that that you had for each other and it makes me feel comforted that with my wife's love I won't be alone either. The reason I mentioned my wife being away is that I have appreciated her return that much more.I'm sure Leroy was very grateful to have you. I'm very grateful to both of you for making my journey that much easier.

Sent by Jose R Gomez | 9:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I know from previous experience that the times ahead are just as hard as when we were going thru this terrible experience with our loved ones. For me all I do is remember the good times and how much we loved them. The important thing to remember is that you were there for him, thru it all.

When my sister died in June, one of our last conversations was what would you come back as - she replied a butterfly.
Every time I am outside and see a butterfly I think of her. The one thing to hold on to is your love you had for each other, that is a bond that will forever be with you. Cherish you friends, believe me they will ease some of the pain. Be strong dear Laurie and know we are all praying for you and love you.

Linda - Montreal, Quebec

Sent by Linda | 9:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - Know that my thoughts have been with you, and will continue to be. Leroy was a special soul; thank you for sharing him with us.

Sent by Jana Miller | 9:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie...please feel all of our arms lifting and holding you up, supporting you as you face the next days, weeks, months....adjusting to Leroy's passing. My dad died this past April, my mom four Aprils before that. I know the sadness you are experiencing, even though losing a parent isn't the same as losing a husband. I hope that our love and support will help you move to the point where the pain isn't as intense, though you will of course always miss him. I comfort myself by knowing that my folks wouldn't want me to lose myself in sadness, that they'd want me to live life to the fullest. This is what I imagine Leroy would want for you as well.

Fondly,
Diana

Sent by Diana | 9:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: I have been reading Leroy's blog every morning all year. I've never written to him - probably because it seemed that everyone else knew better what to say. So many of the writers have faced cancer, understood it so much better than fortunate I that have not. They wrote beautifully how to fight. It seems that I know better how to talk to you because I lost my Mom a few months ago and I understand the kind of heartbreak that losing a person that you deeply love can bring. I also write because someone shared something with me at that time that has buoyed me constantly in the ensuing days and weeks. It is this - do not let Leroy's life be reduced to the final hours, days, or even weeks. It is natural to let our minds get "stuck" on the death experience. My Mom's life, and Leroy's life, was so much more than that. With every thought about his death, fill your mind doubly with thoughts about his LIFE. It will fill you up in the kind of way that will make each day easier than the one before. God speed.

Sent by Lori | 9:34 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I think you are the bravest and smartest person I know. Ask and you shall receive. We love you for your spirit and for your never-ending support of Leroy.

Now, it's time to do something for you. We hope you will. Yet again, you must adjust to the "new normal" please allow yourself the space and time to do that. Peace and love from my family to yours. 1-2-3.

Sent by Sarah | 9:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie - I just read the news. We are still with you and will be always. Feel "our" HUGS! Carolyn

Sent by Carolyn | 9:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Leroy's Compassion should be an inspiration to us all. He will long be remembered for his selfless dedication as a journalist and friend to all who did and did not know him personally. Leroy mirrored every person that read his daily Nightline emails and Cancer Blog. And although he had a painful disease, it clear that he lived his last years with the utmost appreciation for everything in life. Leroy outlived many people who did not have a terminal illness and many who were not blessed to hear his resounding words of consolation and advice.

The most important thing in life is to live for the now.

God bless you and Laurie for all your courage.

Sent by Jerry Gonzalez | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I love that the internet can connect us all - through good times and bad. The fact that this blog was so helpful to its many, many readers and, likewise, that it has been a source of support for you and Leroy, is such an amazing thing. I always worry that any comment I would have to share would be trite or a cliche but please know that I am thinking of you and am so thankful to you and Leroy for sharing your journey with me.

Sent by Amy | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - you got it! One, two, three LIFT!

Thinking of you often and hope that your memories bring sunlight into your world.

Sent by Sue Hoppe | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Will lift as long as needed and more. Please remember to breathe. Peace and prayers to you.

Sent by anne lumberger | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I can't say that things are going to be okay, and I can't say that you're going to feel better any time soon. I can say that you are not alone in this, and when I lost my Dad last year, knowing that other people were so touched by him, and moved by his loss, did bring some small comfort. Leroy brought so much to this world, and that will always be here. He was very dear to so many of us.

He gave a voice to my Dad, who wasn't very comfortable talking about his cancer. He would always say, "Go read what Leroy has to say, that is how I feel."

We are here. We may not all be able to say anything helpful, or bake a casserole for you, but we are here and we carry a tiny piece of your pain in each of our hearts. I hope that helps.

Sent by Sara | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hello - We saw the news Sunday night on the ABC World Report. We were indeed surprised that it happened so quickly after Leroy's last entry about having Hospice come in. I knew he felt resistant, so I wanted to write and tell you that Hospice was a gift to our family when my mother died of cancer. Also, Laurie, I wanted to tell you I knew how you felt regarding the seeming endless well of tears. I felt that when my father died years ago. Now I am crying again - for you. I hope you will continue the blog at some level. Maybe it will be therapeutic for you. We would love to continue reading your thoughts. I am so, so sorry for your loss. You may have already lost parents and you know the hurt never goes away, it just changes over time. But it leaves a hole in your heart. As Paul Simon said, "Losing love is like a window in your heart." I guess the window provides a new perspective onto the universe. I do not think Leroy will be very far away.

Take good care.

Lynn Wiles
Clatskanie, Oregon

Sent by Lynn Wiles | 9:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

My parents died of cancer three months apart at ages 58 and 59. My mother from a brain tumor and my father from liver cancer. I was 22 years old and from a family of eight. My eight brothers and sisters pulled together and tried to help my youngest brother, who was still in high school, get through this somehow. I started reading Leroy's blog about a year and a half ago and was fascinated by it and how down to earth he was even though he had been a famous TV personality. One month ago my 58 year old sister was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. She is going through chemotherapy now. I thought how Leroy's blog would help me see what my sister might be going through more clearly. As my husband and I were driving over the weekend to do our normal chores I heard on NPR that Leroy had died. I was overcome. I hadn't realized how much a part of my daily routine it was to read his blog to see how he was doing or to get insight on how to deal with a relative's cancer. I thank him for the last couple years of insight and know that he is in a much better place.

Sent by Randy Lane | 9:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

One, two, three -- I am lifting.

Sent by Donagene Breshock | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

You deserve and will probably need this for more than "just a little longer," and I know there are many here for whom providing some lifting will be a privilege and a gift. You have given and gone through so much; I'm so glad you are getting support through the beginning of this terrible loss.

Much love to you,
Michele

Sent by Michele | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Forget about the past 2 years for a moment. Find that time before Cancer when you remember him coming home from an assignment, or even from one of his long walks. It may be hard, to find that memory again right now but take some time to search, no pictures no video. Find that memory of him. You have all the pictures and everyone's else's memories, but find a memory of just the 2 of you. even if it's watching a funny movie, a normal conversation, a silly argument neither one of you wanted to cave in on. There are going to be a lot of times you will be surrounded by lots of people but still feel completely alone. They all want to help, some of us can relate and understand, others are just trying to do what they feel right. None of us can take the emptiness away right now, it's part of the process, but you find that memory of him that gives you comfort. He can still do that, He'll keep you company now, just let him remind you.

Sent by paul | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

We will be with you for as long as it takes. Here's something my mother always tells me when I'm swirling through the storm, "This to shall pass." I don't always believe it when life looks so dark, but eventually the sun does shine again. And when the sun begins to shine the good memories and laughter returns. The pain will change you but it is supposed to. But experience has told me that the change is for the better. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers every hour of the day. Godspeed.

Sent by Kathy B. | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,Leroy's family, friends and the community of the My Cancer Blog

One, two, three and LIFT!

Grief has the power to silence us. Let us not be silent at this time. Leroy raised his voice and shared his lived experience of cancer from the beginning until the end. T.S. Eliot says, "The end is where we start from..."

Again, one, two, three and LIFT!

Sent by celia Bandman | 9:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Of course.

I will add what I was thinking about adding the other day. I don't think consciously about what I believe about afterlife and heaven and so forth, but I had a good chuckle thinking about the fact that my family lost our beloved great big clumsy dog earlier this year, and if what anyone says about heaven is true, I feel certain that that dog will find his way to Leroy, who I sense would appreciate his overenthusiastic, adoring, faithful embrace of everything from squirrel-chasing to knocking things over with his tail out of sheer happiness. A boy and his dog, indeed -- I feel instinctively like they would be great friends. Oddly, things like that are always comforting to me.

Sent by Linda | 9:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

Sending hugs and caring thoughts. May all the happy memories of Leroy bring you comfort.

Sent by Donna G. | 9:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about Leroy. I, like so many other people who have followed this blog, feel like I have lost a friend, even though I never met him. I cried when I read he passed away.

My husband died of cancer 8 months ago. It wouldn't surprise you to know that it's the hardest thing I have ever faced. I wish that I could let you know some secret that would help, but we all go through grief in our own way. I live with it every day as you will too. Some days I am so sad I can barely go on. Some days are better- something diverts me or something makes me laugh. But no matter what you still end up facing that loss. You feel like you're a member of a club nobody wants to belong to. Nobody can really understand who isn't a reluctant member. For a while I felt very different and separate from the world, but some of that has faded in 8 months.

I guess the best advice I can give is just to be very kind to yourself over the next few months. Indulge your needs, even if they're for chocolate and bad TV, and don't let anyone make you feel like your grief is on a timetable. And lastly, and this is hard for me, don't be afraid to ask your friends for help and support. They so want to be there for you, they just don't always know what to do.

My best, Carol

Sent by Carol | 9:42 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I've been a big fan of Leroy and this blog for two years. Until I read the obituary I didn't know that he attended UC Berkeley, where I work. My office window looks out on the main plaza of the school, so that will be another of the many places where he will be remembered and cherished.

Sent by Suzanne Krivoy | 9:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we're here for as long as you need us. We miss him, too.

I wish you peace.

Sent by Joyce in FL | 9:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

After undergoing chemo & radiation for Stage 2 breast cancer, I returned to work full time and going to law school in the evenings. By Thursday evening & Friday I would be so dog tired that I couldn't hardly think at work. I had a blue pen that had a light on it, so I started lighting up that pen to give me more energy (a mental trick). Then late one Friday night I realized that I had come home from work and cleaned house.

I wonder if you will experience the same with your grief, that it will be a huge weight on you for awhile, and then one day, you will realize that you had a good day.

I guess what I mean to say is that this awful period won't last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel--there was for Leroy, and there will be one for you. Maybe not today, but some day the worst will be behind you. Until then, perhaps you can be comforted by knowing you did the best you could, and this grief is the real price of loving with all your heart.

You wouldn't have it any other way. Leroy was so very fortunate to have you. Thank you for sharing with us.

Sent by Pamela | 9:45 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I would be honoured if I could help "lift" you, Laurie. There are times when you cannot overcome the sadness, but try to think of the good times, the great qualities that Leroy had and the wonderful contribution he made to the world (esp. the cancer world). You have no idea how much his blog helped my sister through her battle. When it comes to cancer, we can rest knowing that the patient is no longer suffering. Seeing my sister suffer in her last months of life was far more heartbreaking than not having her here with me. Be proud of yourself for all that you did for Leroy, that should ease your mind at times. It brings me comfort to know that I did everything my sister asked of me; I knew exactly what she needed/wanted and I did it without even thinking twice. I know that's what you did for Leroy and I know that he was lucky to have you in his life.
I wish I could give you a big hug!

Sent by Kristina Murphy | 9:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I havn't posted much. I'm a stem cell transplant survivor, which is irrelevant except that I have so much experience with losing friends with whom I walked that road. We who have shared part of their journey never forget, never stop praying, never stop holding them and their loved ones in our hearts. You will someday "move on," but you will never forget and neither will we. We lift you up in our hearts today.

Sent by Phyllis | 9:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

We all knew that "My Cancer" was really "Leroy and Laurie's Cancer" It was singular only because you both were of one heart. Please feel lifted, please feel loved, and please continue the blog if you feel able, for we know that the cancer journey continues for you. If you can, speak for all the caregivers who lose their loves.

Sent by Sherri Beadles | 9:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Here's "lifting" to you Laurie. Thank you for allowing all of us to help you and you help us. We're all in this big whirlpool of life together. Leroy needs to rest now. He has worked so hard.

Sent by Marilyn Cowles | 9:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

One, two, three, LIFT. Thank God for you, Laurie. It helped me to watch the TV news reports on the NPR rememberance about Leroy. It was wonderful to have him back for a few minutes. I'm so grateful for both of you and the blog. I have lost a mother, a favorite aunt, and my best friend to cancer. My son-in-law is suffering from colo-rectal cancer and I have non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Cancer surrounds many of us, but so does love. Thank you, Laurie. We'll all keep lifting each other.

Sent by Nancy Abbott | 9:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
My husband is coming to the end of his journey also. He has been fighting the beast for two and a half years. I will hold you in my heart and in my prayers.

Sent by sasha | 9:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have only met Leroy through his open and compasionate writing and yet his passing has struck me to my core. I can't even begin to imagine your pain at this time. As Gina wrote, the My Cancer blog has created a community that together lifts everyone up. I am sure this community will lift as long as even one member needs it. My thoughts are with you and everyone else facing similar losses.

Sent by marjo schat | 9:50 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I think we are all honored that you have asked for support from all of us who have been part of this powerful experience. The love and respect that Leroy received during these many months is yours also. You are in my prayers and my heart....lifting up the hope for peace in your heart. Know we are all here as you begin the process of learning to cope with this tragic loss. Terry

Sent by Terry Gremel | 9:51 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
There are so very many of us lifting you. I lost a close family member to the beast over 30 years ago and I know how I felt/feel. The daze,feelings of unreality and deep grief will fade in about a year, but you never really get over your loss.
As a stage lV cancer patient myself, I also knew Leroy's fear and anger at his loss of control and worsening condition.
When the hospital bed came into your home, I knew it wouldn't be long.
We love you and have been made better people by having known Leroy, if only through this blog.
One day you will just be calmly grateful for the time you had with him and you'll find a kind of peace. Until then, do what you have to do to make it through the day. One step at a time. One minute at a time.
One of the worst things about being diagnosed with a terminal illness is seeing what our diagnosis does to those we love the most. Leroy's heart would be broken again if he thought you were taking too much time grieving. Now, grieve intensely. Let it all out. If you have trouble moving on, grief counseling might be in order.

Sent by Sue Mersic | 9:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

I am relatively new to reading the blog and new to commenting, but even though I have only been aware of the blog a short while, I had to take a moment yesterday when I received the update with the news about Leroy. I offered a prayer of strength for you and of thankfulness for how you and Leroy touched so many lives together, even when it hurt--especially when it hurt. You are an inspiration, and I hope you have many people gathering around you to inspire you now, and to LIFT.

Sincerely,
Wendy

Sent by Wendy Pugh | 9:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I just got back from a weekend away, and read the news of Leroy, which I will confess shocked me far more than I realised about someone I dont really know - I also have to confess I have read his blogg every day and didnt realise he was so near the end on Wednesday when he posted about his dog :}

I am so sorry Laurie ... my heart really does go out to you, he sounded such a vibrant and fun person, with a compassion that many of us dont have - although I loved his bluntness more than anything.

He was one very well loved, and respected man who didnt deserve to be taken from this world so young.

Life sometimes simply sucks !

Sent by Jill Curtis | 9:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I've a bit of experience with the beast - it took my mother when I was a teenager, mentor in the 80's, and my best friend a few years ago. I was diagnosed last year.

But despite all that the disease has taken from me over the years it has never been able to take the wonderful feelings that I have everyday for all these people that have gone before. In a way, they haven't left me as Leroy will never leave you.

It may be hard, but please try to remember this: he's only left physically; he'll never leave your heart.

MTS

Sent by Marshall T. Spriggs | 9:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Having lost so many family and friends to the Beast over the years, all I can say is ... don't even try to take it in all at once. One breath at a time, one foot in front of the other, one minute, one hour, one day, then another. The loss never goes away, but Time is the great healer, she wears down the ragged peaks of the Rockies into the gentle rolling hills of the Appalachians. Sending love & lifting from steamy New Orleans,

Sent by Jen in NOLA | 9:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely! I second every bit of the generosity expressed here by the rest of the "family". Take care.

Sent by Lesa in Kansas | 9:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Please accept my deepest sympathy in your loss. Leroy Sievers was a powerful journalist and writer who helped all of us understand our common humanity. Thank you for sharing your life with us and we will keep you in our thoughts as you go forward.

Sent by Susan | 9:58 AM ET | 08-19-2008

My mom died a few months ago after a long illness. At the end, she was in hospice, too, and required 24-hour assistance. I remember how shocking the first couple of days were, simply because the responsibility of her care--which was pretty much the primary activity of my days--had just suddenly vanished. What do you do with yourself now? Thankfully, there is the business of arranging the funeral and entertaining friends and family to see you through the first few days. I remember the first afternoon I was entirely alone, though, that I had never felt more alone in my life.

It's a hard time. It does get easier, but never as fast as you think it will. I hope you know how many of us have come to care about you and Leroy as if you were our personal friends. I hope you know that we are here to listen when you need someone to talk to.

Sent by pam | 9:58 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Considered youself lifted from Stony Point N.Y......

Sent by Rob & Family | 10:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Here is a big lift from Michigan!!!!! I feel your pain - I was there in your shoes. It does take family, friends, and a wonderful support group such as this one to help make things a little more tolerable. Take care of yourself, Laurie and know that you are in my thoughts.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 10:02 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I think everyone here is honored to send our support to you in whatever ways we can. I am a cancer survivor myself, age 50, and probably can't really even imagine how devastating it wouls feel to lose my spouse at this age (especially since we just found each other 8 years ago) but I send you my love, and my sorrow at Leroy's loss, as you make your way through your grief.

One thing I hope you spend plenty of time doing, with other friends of Leroy, is remembering the Leroy you posted about "wanting back" a while ago. None of us with cancer want to be remembered as the sick people we become during our fight. You were there for Leroy through sickness and health but remember him in health and enjoy those memories although they may bring the loss in closer. That is my only little offering of advice and I'm sure you are already doing it anyway. We care about you here. We'll lift as long as you find us helpful.

Sent by N.R. | 10:02 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I sent a message yesterday offering you my condolences. I don't know if I can help to 'lift' you a little today. My cancer is incurable - high-grade, stage IV uterine LMS, but the lesions are small so I don't feel ill yet. Thirteen chemo sessions over the last year, just starting third-line threatment, and hardly any side effects. It seems unreal. In this last year since diagnosis I've hardly cried, maybe twice or three times. I don't feel angry. I'm not afraid. Just numb inside and outwardly keeping up appearances. Reading Leroy's blog reached me. Somewhere inside me something is beginning to thaw. I've been crying now - for you, for Leroy and for myself. When the going gets rough, Leroy's courage, wisdom, strength of mind and integrity will be a source of strength for me. Your pain must be very great for the loss of your beloved partner and the extraordinary human being that Leroy was. There's a defiant Spanish expression that I like "??Que me quiten lo bailado! This might be roughly paraphrased as "I may be suffering now, but nobody can ever take away from me the happiness I have experienced.
May God bless you and give you strength.

With much love and gratitude,

Catherine (Spain)

Sent by Catherine Doyle | 10:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

As Gete said it is an honor to lift you up in whatever way we can.

Leroy made a big difference to many of us out here - I can't imagine the loss you feel as his wife. Perhaps the blog can continue to help - the effects of Leroy's cancer are far from over.

I will continue to pray for you and for Leroy.

Sent by Geoff | 10:04 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely! Whatever you need!!

huff, huff, huff...liiiifffftttt!!!!!

Kathy Bero

Sent by Kathy Bero | 10:04 AM ET | 08-19-2008

You got it; always.

(P.S. This blog is amazing.)

Sent by Madeline | 10:05 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Lauri,
You don't even have to ask, just know that we all will lift you for however long you need. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful man, no hero with us. He was a gift to all of us and gave those of us with cancer hope and a voice. It didn't matter what type of cancer we had or if you were a family member caring for someone with cancer, Leroy spoke the truth and feelings that others do not see or feel.
When I saw the my caner blog on Saturday, my stomach hurt because I knew on the weekends I should not be getting a blog. My first thoughts after reading it was if you were alright. I know you lost the love of your life and best friend. In an odd way we all lost the best friend that none of knew accept for his writings. I know it is hard and it must be feeling unreal, maybe even unfair right now. Just know that Leroy conveyed to us how much he loved you and most likely is looking down still loving you, passing the tourch to us to support you now in your time of need.
I have stage IV NHL and Leroy's battle gave me hope each day when despair was all I could feel. He will be remembered for the unselfish way he gave of himself while he was battling the cancer. For bringing a smile to our faces when we could not think of smiling.
Keep your head up and your heart open Laurie, and know that you too were our hero. The partner who gave so much unselfishly. The partner that so many who don't have a suppost system took strenght from. Leroy may not be with us, but his spirit will live on in all of us for his words touched our heart.
Lean on us all you want and we will lift you, hold you up and love you.
May you find some peace,
Miriam

Sent by Miriam | 10:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, it's so good to read your words again. I hope you'll keep posting when you feel up to it. I don't think our conversation is over, by any means.

Please know that grief is a process. Share your fear, your sadness and your pain here. It will be an important part of the process and help you to deal with your loss.

Sent by Linnea | 10:07 AM ET | 08-19-2008

What can I say that hasn't been said? Leroy was a part of my life everyday. I looked forward to seeing how he was doing and how he was feeling. I was so sad to hear so abruptly that he died, when I was expecting him to be a part of my life for a while longer. My weekend was colored blue and the days after. He loved you Laurie - and you have that to hold onto. A life of love is a wonderful thing. I'm in my 50s and I've learned, and it took a long time, what the important things in life are. Love and a life well lived and enjoyed are what matter, and I think you and and Leroy had those important things. Carry on Laurie - you'll be in our hearts.

Sent by Kay Hickman | 10:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: I find it profoundly humbling that you would ask for "our" help. We have loved Leroy, and later you, for so long now. Both of you have been a beacon for people seaching for strength and kindness in this fight against a terrible enemy. When I heard the news on Saturday morning I was stunned. What will I do now? I felt as though I had lost a dear friend. I called my family and said my friend Leroy has passed away. Truely a light has gone out on earth. Laurie, please know that we need you now too...and we are privileged to be included in your world. We love you and will pray for your healing. God bless.

Sent by Patricia Greening | 10:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

The lingering sense of needing to care for a loved one who has been ill after they've been freed from their burden is a hard one for the caregiver. I found it helpful therapy to continue/complete the goals and projects my daughter and Dad had set before they left us. I'm sure Leroy's direction will continue to instruct and inform your life as you transition from caregiver to wherever your path takes you. Despite how it feels at the moment, you are stronger for the journey the two of you took together. My thoughts are with you, and I will be forever grateful for the amazing clarity Leroy's insights brought to my own recovery. Thank you and bless you!

Sent by Nancy M | 10:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

When I was lying on the stretcher in pre-op awaiting my second surgery for cancer, I looked over at my husband sitting in the chair and thought, "I'm so glad I'm on the stretcher and not the one in the chair". I've been able to deal with my cancer fine so far, but what is really scary is the thought of my husband getting seriously ill. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Pam | 10:09 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie -- oh how we wish we could take this pain away from you but the reality is we can not but we can be with you for as long as you need us! It would be an honor to be there for you. Leroy helped so many and you too now it is our turn to help you and hold you and lift you! I wish so badly I could just hold you and hug you but you will just have to close your eyes and feel it from here we all know what it is like to struggle and lose from this beast and although everyones expierence and relationships are unique we can relate. Laurie please know we all love you as we love Leroy and will be around for as long as you let us. This blog is what continues to help me with the loss of my father to this horrible disease -- NO-ONE understands quite like the wonderful people here lean on us when your not strong and we will help you carry on! Let Leroy be there for your he is all around you still and he will let it be known. I wish for you peace, comfort and strength! We are here Laurie! With lots of love, Cori Swanson

Sent by Cori Swanson | 10:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, We will carry you if need be. You have suffered such a great loss and noone expects you to spring right back. If you close your eyes and tune in, I'm sure you can feel the strength that is being sent your way. Hang on to your good memories and try to let the painful struggle associated with these last couple of years drift away. Hang on to your best memories - until you and Leroy meet again.

Sent by Jeanne Stevens | 10:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, Laurie,God gave Leroy the strength and humor to carry him through the fight--with your love and help. Now it's our turn to return the favor. May God bless you with love, and kindness, and strength of heart to keep on. I pray for you.

Sent by Peter in Colorado | 10:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,
You and Leroy have been a blessing to thousands of us over the years. We are only to happy to "lift" you up and do anything else we can. Please know that we are all here and giving you all of our support and strength. God bless you and may he ease the heartache you have at this time. Peace and Love to you.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:11 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Blessings and strength to you Laurie.

Sent by Jeff | 10:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
My cancer and my wife's cancer helps us appreciate the deep love we have for each other. Your and Leroy's love for each other is evident and will never fade. I admire him and you for being able to share that with us. Thank you.

Sent by Alan B. | 10:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Tonight I lit a candle for you and Leroy.
May others do so too at:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng
Lots of love and Prayers,
Shom

Sent by Shom | 10:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie dear one, consider yourself "lifted" up in prayer and know that you are loved. Mrs. Woody

Sent by janet kurman hesselbarth | 10:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
As we watch the Olympics each day and observe the superhuman accomplishments of the athletes, we think of you as the one who deserves the Olympic Gold Medal for the Strength and End