Of course, Laurie. Please know that we are all here for you, for as long as you need!

Sent by betsey in albany ny | 7:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie

Consider yourself "lifted"........

Sent by Kim Moore | 7:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1-2-3 LIFT!
Hug & Kisses friend!
Thinking of you....

Sent by Sue in Rochester, NY | 7:32 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you and help you heal. My husband is almost at the end of his journey. I will look to you as a role model.

Sent by sasha | 7:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

for as long as you need Laurie, and even after that ... We am here , lifting you up...
blessings

Sent by Francesca in Zurich, Switzerland | 7:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I left off with, "a boy and his dog," and did not see the blog again until this morning. I could see it coming, but held out hope as Leroy modeled so profoundly. I have been in your place when it was the loss of my mother, and some years later my sister, both from cancer. As I tell my daughter, "I can't walk around sad everyday, I have to allow the sad thoughts to come and then go, and keep the happy memories with me." It sounds simple, but it is how I cope.
I am very sorry for your loss, and I am very grateful for the chance to have shared in a little of Leroy's life and insight. You both did something very positve with such a negative life altering situation. That is quite a memory to be able to carry with you.
-Rebecca

Sent by Rebecca Muntean | 7:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You know we were all just waiting to be asked! Of course we will keep lifting you up. Like many others here, I am a daily Leroy's blog reader. Because of Leroy, and you and the support you gave, a whole community began to grow and blossom here, like a beautiful garden. The beauty is in the spirit of each person who comes to give and receive, to share hopes and dreams, and to make a connection on this earthly part of the journey. Everyone is welcome at this table, so pull up a chair and stay a while. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and you will continue to be.

Sent by Lisa D. | 7:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
We will keep lifting you for as long as you need it, and probably longer. You walked the journey with Leroy, and are still walking, and we are here to walk with you.

One, two, three, lift!!!
Sending you much love,

Sent by Laura | 7:42 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Just one step at a time Laurie. Take it one second if you need to. Take your time, do not let others try to hurry it along for you. I can honestly say at this moment that I can feel your pain. My husband has been gone for 20 months and I still miss his every second.

Sent by Cindy | 7:43 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie I am sending more "lifts" then you can count from a tiny little town in Upper Michigan. You have so many people wanting to comfort you in all parts of the world. We stand beside you and help you through these difficult days ahead.

Sent by Rose | 7:43 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we will be here for you and lift you for as long as you need. You don't even need to say please. It is our privilege and honor for all that you and Leroy have given to us through your words on this blog. We've never met, but I've been where you are now, and my heart is breaking for you. Take things a moment at a time, be gentle with yourelf, and know that everyone here is "lifing" you with much love.

Sent by Kelly in Maryland | 7:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Let me be the first among hundreds today to offer my "virtual" arms to hold you up. And know that for all those who post today offering their strength, there are still many more people out there offering their uplifting prayers. Lean on us all as long as you need to. It will be an honor, and the least we can do.

Sent by Lisa Laico | 7:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie, We are lifting you and holding you tight in our arms. You are part of us as we are part of you. How much can most of us hurt without knowing the wonderful person that Leroy was. I read Ted Koppel's tribute and a tribute by a pastor who has his own cancer blog - Leroy was our hero - he gave of himself as long as he could. He gave the most intimate and honest parts of being sick and he was not bittter. You were his love and his light and we love you, Laurie, and we are here for you - I know that I am one of thousands who wish that we could hug you and tell you how much we learned from Leroy.

G-d bless you and he will also give you strength.

Love, Janice Goldberg White

Sent by Janice Goldberg White | 7:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie -

I came to this blog because I am still mourning, still missing, still remembering people who I lost many **years** ago.

What you have been through these past years - that is not something you just "get over". Lots of time and compassion.

I am happy to be there for you to lift your spirits - or whatever lifting you need for as long as you want.

Sent by Liz L. | 7:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have been where you are, so many of us have, Nikki, Bruce, Michael, just to name a few. Bruce once told me that it does get easier. I swear, I thought he was crazy. Some days, the emptiness is overwhelming and some days I can't stop crying. But he was right, it does get easier.
I come here for the love I know that will be here not just for me, but for everyone. Everyone here knows the ravages of cancer, the pain it inflicts, the heartache. Here I am not alone. Here, just maybe, something I say can help someone else to cope with their own battle.
Leroy's words always helped us to understand it. His words brought sunshine into gloomy days and gave us all hope for a better tomorrow.
Hang onto his words, his love and his compassion. He is in a better place now, he doesn't have cancer.
Just like we reach out to each other, we are now here for you too! We cry with you dear Laurie.
You have so much love here waiting for you and our arms are open ready to catch you if you ever think you are going to fall. We love you too Laurie.

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we will "lift" as long as you need us.. We are ALWAYS here for you.. Just ask.. Bless you and may each day be more peaceful and easier...

Sent by Patsy Elmore from Knoxville, TN | 7:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we are here for you as long as you need us. You are in my prayers...
Sending you hugs,
Mary C.

Sent by Mary Cannon | 7:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh laurie. Now the tough part is here now.You were such a hero thru all of this and now you do not have your arena to be a hero in.. that too is a big loss. This blog is a good family and good families lift each other up, so know that I for one am here and understand your multiple losses. But if I was talking to my daughter I would tell her to take the time to catch her breath and know that this is new path that she have been given, take peace in the opportunities ahead and cherish the new path. I think you have very large family that wants you to be lifted to the place you are meant to be. Take care , be brave.
XOXOXOXJody Salem

Sent by jody Salem | 7:54 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Always and forever and a day. I can't imagine your anguish. I have cried my eyes out. I still come here every morning for my dose of Leroy, his uniqe spin on things and his optimism. Leroy and you, Laurie and this community are my morning ritual and it served me well for a very long time. Whatever you and Leroy got out of it, please know I did as well probably more so. So for as long as you will be here, so will I. Cancer can't pull us apart that easily.

Sent by JaeMoyer | 7:54 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I pray you will have strength, Laurie. We're still in this together.

Sent by Lorrain Cook | 7:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We've got ours arms around you and they will stay there for the count. Caring thoughts are winging your way too.

Sent by Susan | 7:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, My heart goes out to you at this sad time. Please remember to take time to do something nice for yourself, whether it's food (a good corned beef sandwich & matzoh ball soup can do wonders for my morale!) , a facial, or curling up with a favorite book. We're here for you.

Sent by Heather | 7:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

PS: Leroy's Obituary was in both the NY Times and The Washington Post today. Very touching obituaries.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/19/arts/television/19sievers.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/18/AR2008081802190.html

Sent by Liz L. | 8:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie, I'd come and sit and hold you tightly if I could!
You have been so generous to all of us as you were witnessing Leroy's last weeks. You loved him more, but each of us loved him in a special way. Over and over I have read others' beautiful expressions of grief and love for a man they knew only by his voice and his written word. And in all those writings, love for you is there too.
What an amazing thing to observe and be a part of.
We all tried to help and are honored to continue to do so as you deal with this enormous loss.
Across the miles I send you healing energy and love.

Sent by Harriet | 8:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie-
When my mother passed away from non-Hodgins lymphoma, her best friend told me, "The pain of the grief will not dimimish, but you will get stronger at bearing it." This community that Leroy created will help you build that strength for as long as you ask, and when the strength seems to have fled, we will count to three, and lift.

What a gift he has given you, and all of us.

Sent by Janet Marie | 8:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Sweet Laurie,

I think, it is safe to say as long as we are a community and loyal members of the LA we will embrace you, support you, and help you through this leg of the journey. You are loved and not alone.

With prayers of comfort and healing.

Sent by Sue chap | 8:05 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, hang in there and know you are loved.

Sent by sarah | 8:05 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
WE ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!! Feel our arms around you as you go through all this. Feel Leroy, he's here you just can't see him.

Sent by Aurella | 8:07 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I lift your name in prayer each night along with Leroy's. My hope and my prayers are that God may bring you peace in this difficult time and that God may bless and keep Leroy's soul forever.

The lifting continues and I hope that you can feel the prayers and warmth from all of us.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,

I know that the hundreds of us in "Leroy's Army" will do whatever we can to help ease your loss...if, indeed, that is possible.

Your willingness to allow all of us to share the intimate details of Leroy's dance with the demon and the unwavering honesty of both of you created a rarely established bond between strangers.

"All together now: one,two...and three".

Gentle hugs to you Laurie.

Peggy

Sent by Peggy | 8:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie~ I left town for a few days and sat down this a.m. to "catch up" on you and Leroy. I'm am so saddened and shocked. Honestly, I had expected Leroy to be that miracle we all hear about. Maybe it was denial, maybe it was my general belief in the grace of God, am not sure, but I'm so very sorry that you're going through this. I will contine to pray for you. I hope there's a way you're finding some comfort and peace, although I do realize how empty that sounds.

What you and Leroy have done for so many of us through this blog is amazing. The magnitude of your kindness and grace will not be forgotten!

May God Bless you today and always.

Your friend ~ Tracy

Sent by Tracy | 8:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, it was this time last yr & I was in your shoes. I send you my strength & prayers. xoxo Sarah

Sent by Sarah | 8:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, for as long as you need us Leroy's army will be glad to do the lifting for you and everyone in Cancer World. lac

Sent by Lou Ann Caywood | 8:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,
I have followed yours and Leroy's journey for the last year. I know how hard this is. I lost my husband after a 3 year battle with Pancreatic cancer.Lean on those around you.Take time to mourn and take as much time as you need.You have to go through this new journey and believe me you will someday be able to smile at the memories of your life together. There will come a time when your thoughts will recall the years you had before the beast. Know we are all here in cyber space for you. Virtual hugs coming your way!

Sent by Kimmy | 8:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

This blog has been a part of my morning reading since I started on my own adventure in Cancer World in 2006. It has a been a source of inspiration, resolve and not a few laughs. I will miss his insight.
Laurie, you have my most profound sympathy, along with with my thanks to you both for your help these many years. I, and many others, will think of you each morning for a long, long time.

Sent by Tom in Columbus, Ohio | 8:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have been "lurking" on this blog for over a year and a half. I stumbled upon it one day and have read it daily treasuring the insight into what cancer patients experience on their journey through "Cancer World". Cancer is common in my family and I wanted the knowledge of what its victims were thinking and feeling so that maybe I could be more comforting and feel more useful to them. As it turns out, my mother was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and the blog has helped reduce some of the fear of the unknown.

Over the many months I came to find myself rooting for Leroy in his struggle, feeling joy when his scans reported good news and anguish when he would take a turn for the worse. During the times when Leroy could not post updates, your posts kept us in the loop as one big virtual family. You've been so unselfish sharing with us all just as he did.

I was in China watching the Olympics and when I came back one of the first things that I did was check the blog. I was so sad and shocked to see the news about Leroy. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. If I could find a way to help you as you and Leroy have helped us all, I would gladly do it. For now, I will just stop "lurking" and voice to you my condolences and thanks.

Shirley
Cincinnati, OH

Sent by Shirley Moran | 8:18 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I listened to NPR's Talk of the Nation yesterday and got to hear Leroy's voice again. Oh that voice. That laugh. That wisdom. I was happy to be reminded of the amazing life Leroy lead. But I am still so sad, especially thinking of you. It must feel like a big, empty space around you now. Remember that Leroy's love for you is still there. Wish I could be there to give you a hug, lift you off the ground and twirl you around that space. I'm not big, but I know Leroy would be here to help.

peace and love,

pat

Sent by patricia benson | 8:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie- I've counted to 3 and and am trying to lift. Please know you are not alone.

Sent by Barbara Goun | 8:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, Laurie. He will raise you up on Eagle's wings, hold you in the breath of dawn. Make you to shine like the sun and hold you in the palm of his hand. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rRea9qnjK4

I miss Leroy and look forward to meeting him in the afterlife, hearing his stories and deep laugh. He lifted me up.

Sent by Colleen | 8:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I am strong and willing to keep lifting as long as need be. Thank you for asking. Your friend, Tina

Sent by ITina Oehser | 8:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Our thoughts and prayers are there for you every moment... no counting required.

Sent by Tom | 8:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, consider yourself not only lifted, but wrapped warmly in our arms. You are not alone. Thank you for allowing us in your life. I am so sorry for your loss. May God give you strength to move forward.

God bless you Laurie.

Judy

Sent by Judy Voller | 8:28 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely, Laurie. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I was diagnosed at stage 4 about 6 months after Leroy, and almost 6 yrs after initial cancer dx. I did not read the blog from the beginning, but when I finally discovered it, I could not believe his posts. He hit the nail on the head every time. It was exactly how I was feeling, except for the career of course!
I cried when I read that he passed, so I know that your hurt must be a million times harder.
I will be praying for comfort and peace for you!
Hugs & prayers,
Linda

Sent by Linda Toland | 8:28 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh my dear, we will be here for you for as long as you need us because in reality we still need you. We are all suffering a loss without Leroy and I have to admit that personally I'm a little disorientated. We will find our way through this together.

Sent by jen barad | 8:28 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, Wow. It's strange to start a comment with "Laurie" and not "Leroy," but you know that we've always meant both of you.

We are lifting... just as we've always lifted both of you. We just need to lift a little higher right now.

With love... compassion... and hope...

Sent by Colleen in Milwaukee | 8:29 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
1... 2... 3... and lift.

It seems strange, but I find myself echoing Leroy's words. You do not walk alone.

I lost my mother to cancer many years ago. When I first saw the "My Cancer" link on NPR, I ignored it for weeks and weeks. I'm not sure why, perhaps I was pretending that cancer wasn't in my life any more. Finally I clicked on it, and have read it faithfully.

You are in all our thoughts and prayers.

Always,
Sokol

Sent by Sokol | 8:29 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we are all there lifting. We know the difficult time this is for you. Just take it one step at a time. We will keep you in our prayers and ask for strength and guidence during this time.

Sent by dorothy in oregon | 8:30 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, In my work with women who have experienced violence, we use this ritual at the beginning and ending of retreats: we gather in a circle holding hands and softly chant "We are a circle, within a circle, without beginning, without end". We move closer and closer until we're a tight little pack of people, continuing to sing. Know that you, too, are part of a circle, within a circle - without beginning and without end. We're with you.
~Laura

Sent by Laura | 8:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

123 LIFT! Laurie, I think Leroy is smiling at what a neat blog entry you made this morning! He isn't hurting anymore--and neither is my Dad, who passed two weeks before Leroy. This morning, I'll be returning the call of our Hospice bereavement specialist. He left two really nice books at my house yesterday and a note while I was at work. I'll be calling him to set up a time for Mom and I to meet with him. Maybe you would be interested in meeting with your Hospice bereavement counselor?? They're good. It takes several folks to "lift" so come on everyone--123 LIFT! Love to you Laurie--Linda

Sent by Linda Lee | 8:32 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Of COURSE!! We will keep lifting you for as long as you need and beyond!! It is the very least your army can do for you!!

Thank you again and always!

Sent by Judie in CT | 8:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

It is our honor to lift you - and to celebrate Leroy's wings while we mourn that his journey has left us behind him for now. Death leaves a hole in our hearts, but maybe that's so when it is our time to fly to those we have loved we won't be too heavy for liftoff. We are with you - now and in the days ahead.

Sent by Gete | 8:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Close your eyes. Imagine you are gently floating on a sea of hands. The sky is blue. The sun is warm. There is a soft breeze. One pair of those thousands of hands belong to Leroy. He is smiling. We are all lifting you up. You are safe. There are no worries now. There is no pain anymore.

Sent by Marilyn | 8:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Good morning Laurie,
I am truly sad to have lost such a wonderful human being. Having said that I cannot express to you how much it meant that you both shared your journey with us. I am comforted to know that Leroy is at peace and no longer in pain. In time, you too will feel less sadness and begin to rebuild your life. Cherish all the memories you have - they will provide you with laughter, joy, pride and sadness. Please know that we are all here for you and remember a donut every now and then can be very therapeutic. I don't think I will ever look at a birthday cake without thinking of Leroy! May peace be with you - we are all praying for you.

Sent by Nancy Owen | 8:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Many prayers are being said to lift you Laurie. We would do anything you ask. You have all our support.
May God Bless you at this time.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 8:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

May you be comforted by his memory, his smile, his wit, his strength.

And know that you have friends who are thinking about you.

Sent by CBM, Conshohocken, PA | 8:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We will be here. For as long as you need or want. "That's what friends are for". Hang in there.

Sent by Beth | 8:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -
I knew Leroy through his generous words, which I miss so much. My thoughts have been with you constantly, even more so in the past few days. Let all of our thoughts surround you and lift you.....

Sent by nancy | 8:45 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
A friend told me
H-A-L-T
Avoid being hungry, angry lonely, or tired. You may have to remind yourself a few times.

Sent by Irene | 8:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

For as long as you need, Laurie.

Sent by Renay | 8:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I've been reading Leroy's blog for a year now and I will miss him and his wit. My FIL recently passed away from cancer--he was in hospice care and home--in cancer world at the end that is as good as it gets. I'm sure Leroy thought so too.

Sent by Michele Amster | 8:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I think what comforts and lifts us the most in such a loss is the tremendous value and richness of the life lived. Such a gift, was a life such as Leroy's, and we have it here, in our hearts and minds. It's there. It lives. Adding substance and depth to our understanding and most of all, again, a richness to how we think and live oursel ves now.

I hope the celebration of that, of how Leory lives, in another way, comforts you alongside the grief.

Best,
Laura, a longtime reader

Sent by Laura G. | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

of course! To steal a line from Lenny Briscoe on Law & Order - "all day long, buddy, all day long"

Many prayers to you.

Patty

Sent by Patty | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I've never commented here before, but I offer my deepest sympathies. The true measure of a person's life is who misses him when he is gone. Leroy touched thousands of lives through this blog, and more through the documentary. He was a good man, in the truest sense of the word. I know nothing can fill the Leroy-shaped hole in your heart, but I hope that the compassion and love and beauty he left behind will ease your pain. I wish you peace.

Sent by Jennie | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie. You know, i have never sent a comment before, but your note reached me. As Leroy said, the most important thing is to have made a difference in the world and you two have both done that - above and beyond what most of us can hope for. Thinking of you...

Sent by Cathy J. | 8:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
We will continue to count to 3...1...2...3 up! We all need this blog, the community Leroy created. You are apart of that. We will lift you up as well as anyone who needs it. Remember, we are all in this together.

Sent by Gina B | 8:50 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie, you are stronger than you know. You and Leroy have meant the world to so many of us. Consider yourself lifted, and loved. With many kind thoughts and prayers, Namaste.
Susan

Sent by Susan | 8:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

You don't even have to ask - everyone is and will keep "lifting" you.

It's ok and will be ok even though right now that grief fog is hanging there. It will lift with with help of family, friends and all of us unseen friends out here in the world.

Take care...

Sent by Julie | 8:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -- As long as you want.

Sent by M Wms | 8:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely!!! We're still here Laurie.

Sent with love...
Rhonda

Sent by Rhonda Howard | 8:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We will lift you as long as you need it. Leroy fought a good fight, he stayed the course. We will continue the fight for him. Godspeed.

Sent by Annetta Kastner | 8:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

There are such mixed emotions when we lose someone we love. If that person has been sick for a long time we have to be grateful that they are no longer in pain. But we also are hurting because we have lost our loved one, the person we shared our life with, the person we laughed and cried with. My prayers are with you and Leroy.

Linda

Sent by Linda | 8:54 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

We're all so sorry about Leroy's passing and feel so much sympathy for you having to go on without him. He truly was what his name means in French, "the king". Best wishes always, Pat A.

Sent by Pat Astle | 8:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hang on Laurie, you WILL get through all of this. I'm sure there is a voice deep inside of you that is saying I will go on. You were blessed with 20 years with a wonderful man and wonderful memories. The future holds more wonderful memories to come and Leroy is happy about that.

Sent by Mary Lynne Carlisle | 8:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
What a shock to hear about Leroy on "CBS Sunday Morning". I cried out "But they just got hospice in; he just got his hospital bed", and fell into mourning. I've been reading Leroy's blog since the beginning, but have never commented before. As a cancer patient, the hardest thing for me was the thought of causing pain to my family. So I hope and pray that, as broken-hearted as you surely are, time will heal your heart and the pain will slowly be replaced by happy memories with this incredibly generous man. We all knew you were his anchor and how lucky he was to have you (and how hard for you). And when he was too tired to write, you knew we were waiting and wrote for him. Thank you so much. Now everyone needs to know that you will somehow be okay, so I hope you can bring yourself to continue with this for a while. You have my heartfelt sympathy, and deepest gratitude. Sincerely,
Mary Jane Sturgis

Sent by Mary Jane Sturgis | 8:58 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I'm so sorry to hear the news. I was gone over the weekend and just found out.

You were really there for Leroy and gave him the greatest gift one person can do for another. He never would have left you willingly, so hold on to that.

I'm thinking of you. It's hard after someone close is lost to cancer. My mother's decline was very fast. I recall thinking how intensely poignant every bit of those last days were, and how exhausting and difficult it is to live like that. If you find yourself feeling extraordinarily tired in the aftermath, it's probably because you have essentially run an emotional marathon.

I think Leroy would be pleased that you can use the blog to be lifted up.

Sent by Celeste | 8:59 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - you must know that in the midst of your grief and ours, that this community of support that Leroy led is still here for you, for whatever you need. I think as we all move forward, back into our "normal" lives (which is now different than it was last week), what Leroy would want us all to continue is the honest and frank discussions around what it means to have cancer, to be a caregiver of someone with cancer, and in general how to be a better human being. Perhaps one thing you might choose to do to help this community is to educate us all from your perspective, what it's like to be the caregiver - so that the patients have a better idea of what their counterparts are going through. Just a thought....
In the meantime, you have an immense group of people in your corner :)

Lift!

Sent by Martha in FL | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

laurie--you are in my thoughts and prayers, with love deirdre

Sent by deirdre Gaffney | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

For almost two years, I have come here first thing each morning. We will be here to LIFT you as much and as long as you need.

Sent by Dianne (DC) | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I wish there was something wise I could say to comfort you at this time. Trust that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Mary Verdi | 9:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
We will lift you for as long as you need. My prayer is that you will find peace and strength. Remember Cancer cannot destroy our memories, invade our souls or steal eternal life.
Lots of strong holding hugs
Paula

Sent by Paula Swink | 9:02 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, my Mom wanted me to send you a comment from her, also...

Laurie, I am So Sorry for Your Loss, I know how You feel, I lost my Husband, Frank, about 3 weeks ago!! God Bless You....Love, Jolene

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie-Here's "lifting" your spirits in the face of such sadness. Long time reader, first time commenter. Leroy touched us all. His warmth will be missed by many.

Sent by Traci in Ohio | 9:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: We ARE here for you!!! We will hold you up as long as you need us to. ONE, TWO, THREE - LIFT, with all our love and blessings to you. This is a new journey for you, but KNOW you are NOT ALONE, WE ARE HERE!!!! Feel the HUGS!!!!

Sent by Joanie Weaver, Front Royal, Va | 9:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, Laurie, of course we can! and we will! by lifting you, we are all lifted. We are all in this together. In this life, in this struggle to stay present while appreciating the past and anticipating the future.

We are here for you. Please let our thoughts and prayers and love lift you up and comfort you in your grief.

With tears and heatfelt compassion,

Sent by Kathlelen | 9:04 AM ET | 08-19-2008

As long as you need it, whatever it takes, Laurie.

Don't be surprised if many people -- kind people, well-intentioned people -- say stuff that makes you want to scream, be mean, or vomit. I could barely stand to hear a lot of people's well wishes because they were fraught with beliefs I either didn't share, or didn't share at the time. Plus, being a widow at "our" age (I'm 54) is an odd kettle of fish. Most are a lot older.

I read exactly and only 2 books I could relate to: The Year of Magical Thinking (Didion) and CS Lewis's A Grief Observed. I couldn't bear all of the "grieving" books with the lavendar covers and the dead flowers.

FWIW, I'm still in the needing a lift place a bit, too, 4-1/2 months later. I think it takes awhile. As I joke to my friends "I'm eating/I'm sleeping" because that's what everybody asks. And I'm working, because I must and its theraputic. But, the entire fabric of my life has changed, in ways that others find hard to understand. Losing a spouse is not the same as losing a parent, not at all. Sometimes people will drive you nuts with their likening of your loss to theirs, when they are not at all cognate. Learn to excuse yourself politely. You don't have to put up with it, not now.

Oh, I could go on and on but will stop. I'm there for you, though, and have a little insight into where you are.

Sent by Teri | 9:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, we will continue to be here with you, supporting you and providing as much love and support as you need for as long as you need. This is a given, so please know you never need to ask this of us.....we are honored. Blessings to you today and in the hours and days and weeks to come. We are here, we are your army....

Sent by Karen | 9:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Lifting you up....

Sent by Alaina | 9:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Prayers in the Air...from Indiana

Sent by KELLY | 9:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I have you in my prayers. I have been reading this blog for over a year now. It is funny that none of us know each other but yet we feel like family. Please know that all of the "blog world" is lifting you and hugging you too. We may not be there face to face but our energy is there.

Karen

Sent by Karen C. | 9:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I am here to help "lift" you. This blog means so much to me. Your openness and honesty have literally left me gasping, crying, laughing, and hurting with you and for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sent by E.L. | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for you loss. I've read Leroy's blog faithfully and truly admire his strength, courage and his unending ability to put into words what everyone with cancer has ever felt. God bless you.

Sent by Brenda Needham | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Whatever you need...you are in my thoughts...I have been there and I have to say it helped to know people were thinking about me...eventhough sometimes I could not even let it in much...
Best...
Sandra Yudilevich

Sent by Sandra Yudilevich | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I pray that you can find some rest by leaning on the arms of your family and friends and on all of us who knew and loved Leroy through his blog. We lift you in love.

Sent by Elaine | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Anything. Any time.

Go easy on yourself. In my case, 18 months out, I still ache and I still have bad days when I can't talk about it to anyone.

You've lived through hell. Recovery is slow.

Much love

Sent by Bruce | 9:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1...2....3...lift!

Like many, I cried a bit when I saw the news.

I'd become used to reading Leroy's updates everyday, as a reminder that I should squeeze as much life as I can out of every moment.

I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling, or what you need. All I can do is hope, and pray, that you'll love and support to keep you strong.

Sent by Sarah Cunningham | 9:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Know that for every person who vocalizes their love and support through these posts, there are dozens of others who silently keep you in their thoughts. You and Leroy have touched so many people- you will never be alone. There is an entire community sending you all the love and strength in the world. Trying to give to you what you and Leroy have been giving to them (to us) fo so long.

Sent by amy | 9:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

One, two, three...LIFT. It's the least we can do for you. You now carry on the treasures in your heart of caring for the commander in chief in the war against cancer. While it was very difficult work I hope you find it a gift to you to be able to care for someone you love in that way. I lift you and all of Leroy's friends and caregivers in prayer, I lift you in my admiration for all you have done to help keep Leroy's cancer at bay for so long. I hope you will share your healing with us; let's continue to remember Leroy in big and small ways and encourage other caregivers to do the same.

Sent by Eleanor | 9:16 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie- As someone who lost a father to "the beast" and who's husband has passed (though not to cancer), I'm sure we'll all be here for as long as you need us! We have all grown to love Leroy and you - we're in this for the long run! May God be with you.

Sent by Kathy | 9:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1-2-3!

At this most difficult time, we are all here for you. Our hands are at the ready and our hearts are full of love.

Sent by Dave Jenkins | 9:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie. We are all with you Laurie. I am a three year Stage III breast cancer survivor. To this day I still worry about my husband "my care taker", my best friend, my love. How difficult this must be for you. No one wants this for the person they care about and have shared more than half their life with. I am so proud of you and Leroy. You and Leroy give us all hope and strength. Go outside, soak up the warm sun on your face. Go back inside and place warm cheek again the man you love. As you close your eyes feel me hugging you tight! Carolyn

Sent by Carolyn | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We will be here as long as you need us. I have been thinking about you and hoping that you are making it through your days. I never had cancer, but my father did. I know that is it extremely painful to lose such a crucial male figure in your life. Remembering the little things: the quirks, the different foods they loved, or the things that made them laugh - maybe at this difficult time you can look back at those and they can atleast make you smile briefly amidst the tears. We are here for you as Leroy was here for us. He was a magnificant man.

Sent by April | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Bless your heart. Leroy said that no one walks this road alone and that certainly means you too. Please know that this community that you both have created here mourns with you. Let us share a bit of the grief.
May I repeat what I said to him a few weeks ago? "Can you feel us lifting? Up you go. Steady now."
For my part, I will be out here lifting for as long as you like.

Sent by Gene Koeneman | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Leroy made this site about support, about it being a two way street.
just lean into us laurie and we will hold you and make the space you need.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

take care
JJ

Sent by jj | 9:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie:

This is your old friend Zena. I want to share a couple Leroy stories.

One is from when I was a production coordinator at Nightline. I was on the phone with someone who was very rude and Leroy sat a couple desks away from me and he heard my end of the conversation. He saw I was upset so he asked for the phone number of the person I was speaking to. He picked up the phone and dialed. I had no idea what he was going to do. Leroy says: "Hi this is Leroy Sievers. Please don't ever talk to my colleague (he was my boss) Zena like that ever again. Ok? Thanks." And he hangs up.

He always looked out for me. He looked out for all of us. He taught me so much. The most important lesson: Stick up for your beliefs, and stick up for your friends.

Another story. About a year ago my bluegrass band was performing and Leroy came to the show with some of our Nightline friends. The show was packed and the door guy was trying to keep people out. So Leroy arrives and this door guy is telling Leroy he can't go in. Well no way was that gonna stop Leroy. (I think the door man was a scrawny little 18 year old who was trying to tell Leroy what to do. Riiiiight.) So Leroy made his way in and watched the concert with some of our Nightline family and after the show people were talking about Leroy with such awe. "You should have seen him, Zena!" I have no idea what he told the guy but there was no way anybody -- not a giant, not a little scrawny kid -- was going to get in the way of Leroy when he had his mind set on something.

I miss him very much, and I love you.

Zena

Sent by Zena Barakat | 9:20 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Leroy died at the same age as my dad. So this has hit me like my breath has been knock out of my body. Even though I knew he would die as I knew my dad would the reality hits so much harder than one expects. My hurt comes rolling back as fresh as the day it happened.

Laurie, I always thought the name of this blog was funny. "My Cancer" It was never just Leroy's cancer, it was all of our cancers together. We shared every moment of every feeling he had. We understood all of it. You did too.

Cancer is so maddening, so destructive, so consuming, so...dare I say....evil?? It takes over our lives and those around us and everything becomes about IT.

I hate that this blog is ending but all good things must come to an end...Why? Not only do we lose Leroy we lose the blog. What a blow. I understand ...yet I do not.

Leroy and others here showed us different ways to cope and deal with this thing called cancer. And now comes the time when they are gone and we are here to cope and deal. Such a big void to fill, hard for Laurie and hard for those left behind. Everyone says time will heal the wound. I do not say that. I say each of us has our own way of healing but like Tom Hanks in the movie "Sleepless" "You get up, you breath, you eat...etc." Until it gets easier.

My personal favorite is "There is no sorrow on Earth that Heaven cannot heal."

I hope you can find some comfort, some peace and some hope in knowing how much he was love. You must be some special person because Leroy loved you so very much and still does.

Many tender hugs, Carole

Sent by Carole | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1 - 2 - 3 ... LIFT ... continue to feel the prayers, love and support of your My Cancer blog friends. We'll be here as long as you need us, dear Laurie.

Sent by Dianne in Nevada | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

You've got it Laurie! We will lift you up for as long as you need it, and then maybe even a bit longer. Loss and grief are so hard to understand and hard to explain, especially when mixed with so many other feelings. Leroy was so blessed to have you as a companion on this journey - now you begin your own journey as survivor. God bless you.

Sent by Jere | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

You've got it Laurie! We will lift you up for as long as you need it, and then maybe even a bit longer. Loss and grief are so hard to understand and hard to explain, especially when mixed with so many other feelings. Leroy was so blessed to have you as a companion on this journey - now you begin your own journey as survivor. God bless you.

Sent by Jere | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We have all been brought together by cancer, but we stay together because of love. And we all know love will lift us up where we belong...

Oh, geez, now I have that song playing in my head....

:o)

Sent by Teri Thomas | 9:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, Laurie,we will keep lifting for as long as you need us to. My heart goes out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you.

Sent by Jen | 9:22 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Bless you Laurie, that you have asked for this from us. It is but one little thing we can do. One, two, three, lifting from Westford, MA.

Sent by Sheara | 9:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We're here for you Laurie.

Sent by julie | 9:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I am so grateful that you have shared so much with everyone here. You are not alone in this, not at all. I know it seems so difficult right now, and you will always feel this loss, but also remember the things that fill you up--especially the memories. You have been so strong, and you absolutely deserve a break, and to rest easy while everyone here lifts you up...for as long as you need. You are in my thoughts every day.

Sent by Kathleen Schmidt, NJ | 9:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,
Hang on, I'm lifting you now. And here's a hug, too. You can do this. That's what I learned from my Mom: other people have done this, and so can you.
Much love
Diane

Sent by Diane McNeil | 9:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We're here, as long as you wish. Take one day at a time. You are in my prayers.

Sent by Beth S | 9:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I started reading Leroy's blog in June of 2006 when my own dearest husband, Richard was diagnosed with lung cancer. Leroy's words about his illness helped filled in the gaps of what my husband could communicate to me. I particularly remember an early post to you and what you meant to him. My husband stayed with us as long as he could, and passed away in June of 2007. But I continued to read the blog. Over the last few months, it was always painful because I was reliving our own hospice decision and the loss of control and the ultimate growing closer and closer. Leroy wrote of the feeling of love and gratitude he felt towards you, but at least for me (and I suspect for you as well), it was never a chore, but a blessing for me to have that time with him. He gave me a gift by allowing me to take care of him.
I last read the blog on Friday and your lament that cancer was on the move again. Today, I signed on again and read the words about Leroy's death. Today for the first time, I knew I had to send a message to you. Thank you to Leroy and to you for your generosity in sharing your lives with all of us. It helped in inmeasurable ways.
I'm glad to hear that the messages from people who read the blog have supported you in some small way. Even over a year later, the messages from my husband's frieds are reread. Our husbands were loved and their presence in our world enriched our lives.
Lastly I can only tell you that in most ways, I still feel that Richard is with me every day. I still cry everyday, and I have to tell you that time does NOT cover the giant hole that is his physical absence. But time does create other places to walk so that we don't have to stand at the edge of that hole so often.
I will never forget Leroy. I will always honor him for what he did for me. I will always honor you for allowing him to share so much with us. Thank you. And now, my two daughter and I are standing around you, one on each side and one at the head. One, two, three ---Lift!
Wishing you strength through these days,
Linda

Sent by Linda Gerdes | 9:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have never written in to this or any blog before today but i wanted to tell you that I am lifting with all my might. I am sure we all are not as strong as you. I have read this blog since I was diagnoised with stage 3C Ovarian cancer. It has helped me more than words can say. Leroy put words to what I was experiencing with such eloquence and many times humor. It meant so much to me and he lifted me up in many of my darkest hours. So I feel honorored to be able to lift you now.

Sent by Cheryl Lambropoulos | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I can't imagine the depth of your loss. Leroy was bigger than life. His comments made me laugh, cry, and think. "Cancer World" has lost a huge friend and supporter. He made a difference. I will never forget him. Or you.

Sent by Sandi Packard | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Whatever you need, Laurie, we'll be happy to provide. You shared your husband and your life with us at a time when you could have been understandably greedy and kept every moment for yourselves.

I am missing Leroy, a friend I never met. I remember recovering from my own cancer surgery, curled up in bed, listening to Leroy's voice. I read his blog every morning when I got to work. I'd boot up the computer, pour a cup of coffee and check in on Leroy and see what he had to say about Cancer Land.

You don't know me, Laurie, and I don't know really you but you can know that in Duluth, MN there is a woman thinking of you and wishing you peace. I am looking out at the huge shining expanse of Lake Superior, with the morning sun glittering on the surface, and I', thinking of you and Leroy and wishing you the peace I see there.

Sent by K. Ives, Duluth, MN | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We'll never stop Laurie, we promise.

Sent by Karen/Jax | 9:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

My wife was away for a few days visiting her family when I read the sad news on Friday. Even though I never knew Leroy personally, His words and thoughts have made a huge difference in my "new life" as I call it. I couldn't help getting depressed at the news and thinking about you. Thinking how you must be feeling. But I also thought about how lucky Leroy was to have you. Through Leroy's words and yours on the blog, I felt the love and the care that that you had for each other and it makes me feel comforted that with my wife's love I won't be alone either. The reason I mentioned my wife being away is that I have appreciated her return that much more.I'm sure Leroy was very grateful to have you. I'm very grateful to both of you for making my journey that much easier.

Sent by Jose R Gomez | 9:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I know from previous experience that the times ahead are just as hard as when we were going thru this terrible experience with our loved ones. For me all I do is remember the good times and how much we loved them. The important thing to remember is that you were there for him, thru it all.

When my sister died in June, one of our last conversations was what would you come back as - she replied a butterfly.
Every time I am outside and see a butterfly I think of her. The one thing to hold on to is your love you had for each other, that is a bond that will forever be with you. Cherish you friends, believe me they will ease some of the pain. Be strong dear Laurie and know we are all praying for you and love you.

Linda - Montreal, Quebec

Sent by Linda | 9:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - Know that my thoughts have been with you, and will continue to be. Leroy was a special soul; thank you for sharing him with us.

Sent by Jana Miller | 9:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie...please feel all of our arms lifting and holding you up, supporting you as you face the next days, weeks, months....adjusting to Leroy's passing. My dad died this past April, my mom four Aprils before that. I know the sadness you are experiencing, even though losing a parent isn't the same as losing a husband. I hope that our love and support will help you move to the point where the pain isn't as intense, though you will of course always miss him. I comfort myself by knowing that my folks wouldn't want me to lose myself in sadness, that they'd want me to live life to the fullest. This is what I imagine Leroy would want for you as well.

Fondly,
Diana

Sent by Diana | 9:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: I have been reading Leroy's blog every morning all year. I've never written to him - probably because it seemed that everyone else knew better what to say. So many of the writers have faced cancer, understood it so much better than fortunate I that have not. They wrote beautifully how to fight. It seems that I know better how to talk to you because I lost my Mom a few months ago and I understand the kind of heartbreak that losing a person that you deeply love can bring. I also write because someone shared something with me at that time that has buoyed me constantly in the ensuing days and weeks. It is this - do not let Leroy's life be reduced to the final hours, days, or even weeks. It is natural to let our minds get "stuck" on the death experience. My Mom's life, and Leroy's life, was so much more than that. With every thought about his death, fill your mind doubly with thoughts about his LIFE. It will fill you up in the kind of way that will make each day easier than the one before. God speed.

Sent by Lori | 9:34 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I think you are the bravest and smartest person I know. Ask and you shall receive. We love you for your spirit and for your never-ending support of Leroy.

Now, it's time to do something for you. We hope you will. Yet again, you must adjust to the "new normal" please allow yourself the space and time to do that. Peace and love from my family to yours. 1-2-3.

Sent by Sarah | 9:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie - I just read the news. We are still with you and will be always. Feel "our" HUGS! Carolyn

Sent by Carolyn | 9:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Leroy's Compassion should be an inspiration to us all. He will long be remembered for his selfless dedication as a journalist and friend to all who did and did not know him personally. Leroy mirrored every person that read his daily Nightline emails and Cancer Blog. And although he had a painful disease, it clear that he lived his last years with the utmost appreciation for everything in life. Leroy outlived many people who did not have a terminal illness and many who were not blessed to hear his resounding words of consolation and advice.

The most important thing in life is to live for the now.

God bless you and Laurie for all your courage.

Sent by Jerry Gonzalez | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I love that the internet can connect us all - through good times and bad. The fact that this blog was so helpful to its many, many readers and, likewise, that it has been a source of support for you and Leroy, is such an amazing thing. I always worry that any comment I would have to share would be trite or a cliche but please know that I am thinking of you and am so thankful to you and Leroy for sharing your journey with me.

Sent by Amy | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - you got it! One, two, three LIFT!

Thinking of you often and hope that your memories bring sunlight into your world.

Sent by Sue Hoppe | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Will lift as long as needed and more. Please remember to breathe. Peace and prayers to you.

Sent by anne lumberger | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I can't say that things are going to be okay, and I can't say that you're going to feel better any time soon. I can say that you are not alone in this, and when I lost my Dad last year, knowing that other people were so touched by him, and moved by his loss, did bring some small comfort. Leroy brought so much to this world, and that will always be here. He was very dear to so many of us.

He gave a voice to my Dad, who wasn't very comfortable talking about his cancer. He would always say, "Go read what Leroy has to say, that is how I feel."

We are here. We may not all be able to say anything helpful, or bake a casserole for you, but we are here and we carry a tiny piece of your pain in each of our hearts. I hope that helps.

Sent by Sara | 9:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hello - We saw the news Sunday night on the ABC World Report. We were indeed surprised that it happened so quickly after Leroy's last entry about having Hospice come in. I knew he felt resistant, so I wanted to write and tell you that Hospice was a gift to our family when my mother died of cancer. Also, Laurie, I wanted to tell you I knew how you felt regarding the seeming endless well of tears. I felt that when my father died years ago. Now I am crying again - for you. I hope you will continue the blog at some level. Maybe it will be therapeutic for you. We would love to continue reading your thoughts. I am so, so sorry for your loss. You may have already lost parents and you know the hurt never goes away, it just changes over time. But it leaves a hole in your heart. As Paul Simon said, "Losing love is like a window in your heart." I guess the window provides a new perspective onto the universe. I do not think Leroy will be very far away.

Take good care.

Lynn Wiles
Clatskanie, Oregon

Sent by Lynn Wiles | 9:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

My parents died of cancer three months apart at ages 58 and 59. My mother from a brain tumor and my father from liver cancer. I was 22 years old and from a family of eight. My eight brothers and sisters pulled together and tried to help my youngest brother, who was still in high school, get through this somehow. I started reading Leroy's blog about a year and a half ago and was fascinated by it and how down to earth he was even though he had been a famous TV personality. One month ago my 58 year old sister was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. She is going through chemotherapy now. I thought how Leroy's blog would help me see what my sister might be going through more clearly. As my husband and I were driving over the weekend to do our normal chores I heard on NPR that Leroy had died. I was overcome. I hadn't realized how much a part of my daily routine it was to read his blog to see how he was doing or to get insight on how to deal with a relative's cancer. I thank him for the last couple years of insight and know that he is in a much better place.

Sent by Randy Lane | 9:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

One, two, three -- I am lifting.

Sent by Donagene Breshock | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

You deserve and will probably need this for more than "just a little longer," and I know there are many here for whom providing some lifting will be a privilege and a gift. You have given and gone through so much; I'm so glad you are getting support through the beginning of this terrible loss.

Much love to you,
Michele

Sent by Michele | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Forget about the past 2 years for a moment. Find that time before Cancer when you remember him coming home from an assignment, or even from one of his long walks. It may be hard, to find that memory again right now but take some time to search, no pictures no video. Find that memory of him. You have all the pictures and everyone's else's memories, but find a memory of just the 2 of you. even if it's watching a funny movie, a normal conversation, a silly argument neither one of you wanted to cave in on. There are going to be a lot of times you will be surrounded by lots of people but still feel completely alone. They all want to help, some of us can relate and understand, others are just trying to do what they feel right. None of us can take the emptiness away right now, it's part of the process, but you find that memory of him that gives you comfort. He can still do that, He'll keep you company now, just let him remind you.

Sent by paul | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

We will be with you for as long as it takes. Here's something my mother always tells me when I'm swirling through the storm, "This to shall pass." I don't always believe it when life looks so dark, but eventually the sun does shine again. And when the sun begins to shine the good memories and laughter returns. The pain will change you but it is supposed to. But experience has told me that the change is for the better. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers every hour of the day. Godspeed.

Sent by Kathy B. | 9:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,Leroy's family, friends and the community of the My Cancer Blog

One, two, three and LIFT!

Grief has the power to silence us. Let us not be silent at this time. Leroy raised his voice and shared his lived experience of cancer from the beginning until the end. T.S. Eliot says, "The end is where we start from..."

Again, one, two, three and LIFT!

Sent by celia Bandman | 9:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Of course.

I will add what I was thinking about adding the other day. I don't think consciously about what I believe about afterlife and heaven and so forth, but I had a good chuckle thinking about the fact that my family lost our beloved great big clumsy dog earlier this year, and if what anyone says about heaven is true, I feel certain that that dog will find his way to Leroy, who I sense would appreciate his overenthusiastic, adoring, faithful embrace of everything from squirrel-chasing to knocking things over with his tail out of sheer happiness. A boy and his dog, indeed -- I feel instinctively like they would be great friends. Oddly, things like that are always comforting to me.

Sent by Linda | 9:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

Sending hugs and caring thoughts. May all the happy memories of Leroy bring you comfort.

Sent by Donna G. | 9:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about Leroy. I, like so many other people who have followed this blog, feel like I have lost a friend, even though I never met him. I cried when I read he passed away.

My husband died of cancer 8 months ago. It wouldn't surprise you to know that it's the hardest thing I have ever faced. I wish that I could let you know some secret that would help, but we all go through grief in our own way. I live with it every day as you will too. Some days I am so sad I can barely go on. Some days are better- something diverts me or something makes me laugh. But no matter what you still end up facing that loss. You feel like you're a member of a club nobody wants to belong to. Nobody can really understand who isn't a reluctant member. For a while I felt very different and separate from the world, but some of that has faded in 8 months.

I guess the best advice I can give is just to be very kind to yourself over the next few months. Indulge your needs, even if they're for chocolate and bad TV, and don't let anyone make you feel like your grief is on a timetable. And lastly, and this is hard for me, don't be afraid to ask your friends for help and support. They so want to be there for you, they just don't always know what to do.

My best, Carol

Sent by Carol | 9:42 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I've been a big fan of Leroy and this blog for two years. Until I read the obituary I didn't know that he attended UC Berkeley, where I work. My office window looks out on the main plaza of the school, so that will be another of the many places where he will be remembered and cherished.

Sent by Suzanne Krivoy | 9:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we're here for as long as you need us. We miss him, too.

I wish you peace.

Sent by Joyce in FL | 9:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

After undergoing chemo & radiation for Stage 2 breast cancer, I returned to work full time and going to law school in the evenings. By Thursday evening & Friday I would be so dog tired that I couldn't hardly think at work. I had a blue pen that had a light on it, so I started lighting up that pen to give me more energy (a mental trick). Then late one Friday night I realized that I had come home from work and cleaned house.

I wonder if you will experience the same with your grief, that it will be a huge weight on you for awhile, and then one day, you will realize that you had a good day.

I guess what I mean to say is that this awful period won't last forever. There is a light at the end of the tunnel--there was for Leroy, and there will be one for you. Maybe not today, but some day the worst will be behind you. Until then, perhaps you can be comforted by knowing you did the best you could, and this grief is the real price of loving with all your heart.

You wouldn't have it any other way. Leroy was so very fortunate to have you. Thank you for sharing with us.

Sent by Pamela | 9:45 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I would be honoured if I could help "lift" you, Laurie. There are times when you cannot overcome the sadness, but try to think of the good times, the great qualities that Leroy had and the wonderful contribution he made to the world (esp. the cancer world). You have no idea how much his blog helped my sister through her battle. When it comes to cancer, we can rest knowing that the patient is no longer suffering. Seeing my sister suffer in her last months of life was far more heartbreaking than not having her here with me. Be proud of yourself for all that you did for Leroy, that should ease your mind at times. It brings me comfort to know that I did everything my sister asked of me; I knew exactly what she needed/wanted and I did it without even thinking twice. I know that's what you did for Leroy and I know that he was lucky to have you in his life.
I wish I could give you a big hug!

Sent by Kristina Murphy | 9:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I havn't posted much. I'm a stem cell transplant survivor, which is irrelevant except that I have so much experience with losing friends with whom I walked that road. We who have shared part of their journey never forget, never stop praying, never stop holding them and their loved ones in our hearts. You will someday "move on," but you will never forget and neither will we. We lift you up in our hearts today.

Sent by Phyllis | 9:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

We all knew that "My Cancer" was really "Leroy and Laurie's Cancer" It was singular only because you both were of one heart. Please feel lifted, please feel loved, and please continue the blog if you feel able, for we know that the cancer journey continues for you. If you can, speak for all the caregivers who lose their loves.

Sent by Sherri Beadles | 9:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Here's "lifting" to you Laurie. Thank you for allowing all of us to help you and you help us. We're all in this big whirlpool of life together. Leroy needs to rest now. He has worked so hard.

Sent by Marilyn Cowles | 9:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

One, two, three, LIFT. Thank God for you, Laurie. It helped me to watch the TV news reports on the NPR rememberance about Leroy. It was wonderful to have him back for a few minutes. I'm so grateful for both of you and the blog. I have lost a mother, a favorite aunt, and my best friend to cancer. My son-in-law is suffering from colo-rectal cancer and I have non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Cancer surrounds many of us, but so does love. Thank you, Laurie. We'll all keep lifting each other.

Sent by Nancy Abbott | 9:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
My husband is coming to the end of his journey also. He has been fighting the beast for two and a half years. I will hold you in my heart and in my prayers.

Sent by sasha | 9:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have only met Leroy through his open and compasionate writing and yet his passing has struck me to my core. I can't even begin to imagine your pain at this time. As Gina wrote, the My Cancer blog has created a community that together lifts everyone up. I am sure this community will lift as long as even one member needs it. My thoughts are with you and everyone else facing similar losses.

Sent by marjo schat | 9:50 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I think we are all honored that you have asked for support from all of us who have been part of this powerful experience. The love and respect that Leroy received during these many months is yours also. You are in my prayers and my heart....lifting up the hope for peace in your heart. Know we are all here as you begin the process of learning to cope with this tragic loss. Terry

Sent by Terry Gremel | 9:51 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
There are so very many of us lifting you. I lost a close family member to the beast over 30 years ago and I know how I felt/feel. The daze,feelings of unreality and deep grief will fade in about a year, but you never really get over your loss.
As a stage lV cancer patient myself, I also knew Leroy's fear and anger at his loss of control and worsening condition.
When the hospital bed came into your home, I knew it wouldn't be long.
We love you and have been made better people by having known Leroy, if only through this blog.
One day you will just be calmly grateful for the time you had with him and you'll find a kind of peace. Until then, do what you have to do to make it through the day. One step at a time. One minute at a time.
One of the worst things about being diagnosed with a terminal illness is seeing what our diagnosis does to those we love the most. Leroy's heart would be broken again if he thought you were taking too much time grieving. Now, grieve intensely. Let it all out. If you have trouble moving on, grief counseling might be in order.

Sent by Sue Mersic | 9:52 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

I am relatively new to reading the blog and new to commenting, but even though I have only been aware of the blog a short while, I had to take a moment yesterday when I received the update with the news about Leroy. I offered a prayer of strength for you and of thankfulness for how you and Leroy touched so many lives together, even when it hurt--especially when it hurt. You are an inspiration, and I hope you have many people gathering around you to inspire you now, and to LIFT.

Sincerely,
Wendy

Sent by Wendy Pugh | 9:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I just got back from a weekend away, and read the news of Leroy, which I will confess shocked me far more than I realised about someone I dont really know - I also have to confess I have read his blogg every day and didnt realise he was so near the end on Wednesday when he posted about his dog :}

I am so sorry Laurie ... my heart really does go out to you, he sounded such a vibrant and fun person, with a compassion that many of us dont have - although I loved his bluntness more than anything.

He was one very well loved, and respected man who didnt deserve to be taken from this world so young.

Life sometimes simply sucks !

Sent by Jill Curtis | 9:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I've a bit of experience with the beast - it took my mother when I was a teenager, mentor in the 80's, and my best friend a few years ago. I was diagnosed last year.

But despite all that the disease has taken from me over the years it has never been able to take the wonderful feelings that I have everyday for all these people that have gone before. In a way, they haven't left me as Leroy will never leave you.

It may be hard, but please try to remember this: he's only left physically; he'll never leave your heart.

MTS

Sent by Marshall T. Spriggs | 9:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Having lost so many family and friends to the Beast over the years, all I can say is ... don't even try to take it in all at once. One breath at a time, one foot in front of the other, one minute, one hour, one day, then another. The loss never goes away, but Time is the great healer, she wears down the ragged peaks of the Rockies into the gentle rolling hills of the Appalachians. Sending love & lifting from steamy New Orleans,

Sent by Jen in NOLA | 9:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely! I second every bit of the generosity expressed here by the rest of the "family". Take care.

Sent by Lesa in Kansas | 9:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Please accept my deepest sympathy in your loss. Leroy Sievers was a powerful journalist and writer who helped all of us understand our common humanity. Thank you for sharing your life with us and we will keep you in our thoughts as you go forward.

Sent by Susan | 9:58 AM ET | 08-19-2008

My mom died a few months ago after a long illness. At the end, she was in hospice, too, and required 24-hour assistance. I remember how shocking the first couple of days were, simply because the responsibility of her care--which was pretty much the primary activity of my days--had just suddenly vanished. What do you do with yourself now? Thankfully, there is the business of arranging the funeral and entertaining friends and family to see you through the first few days. I remember the first afternoon I was entirely alone, though, that I had never felt more alone in my life.

It's a hard time. It does get easier, but never as fast as you think it will. I hope you know how many of us have come to care about you and Leroy as if you were our personal friends. I hope you know that we are here to listen when you need someone to talk to.

Sent by pam | 9:58 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Considered youself lifted from Stony Point N.Y......

Sent by Rob & Family | 10:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Here is a big lift from Michigan!!!!! I feel your pain - I was there in your shoes. It does take family, friends, and a wonderful support group such as this one to help make things a little more tolerable. Take care of yourself, Laurie and know that you are in my thoughts.

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 10:02 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I think everyone here is honored to send our support to you in whatever ways we can. I am a cancer survivor myself, age 50, and probably can't really even imagine how devastating it wouls feel to lose my spouse at this age (especially since we just found each other 8 years ago) but I send you my love, and my sorrow at Leroy's loss, as you make your way through your grief.

One thing I hope you spend plenty of time doing, with other friends of Leroy, is remembering the Leroy you posted about "wanting back" a while ago. None of us with cancer want to be remembered as the sick people we become during our fight. You were there for Leroy through sickness and health but remember him in health and enjoy those memories although they may bring the loss in closer. That is my only little offering of advice and I'm sure you are already doing it anyway. We care about you here. We'll lift as long as you find us helpful.

Sent by N.R. | 10:02 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I sent a message yesterday offering you my condolences. I don't know if I can help to 'lift' you a little today. My cancer is incurable - high-grade, stage IV uterine LMS, but the lesions are small so I don't feel ill yet. Thirteen chemo sessions over the last year, just starting third-line threatment, and hardly any side effects. It seems unreal. In this last year since diagnosis I've hardly cried, maybe twice or three times. I don't feel angry. I'm not afraid. Just numb inside and outwardly keeping up appearances. Reading Leroy's blog reached me. Somewhere inside me something is beginning to thaw. I've been crying now - for you, for Leroy and for myself. When the going gets rough, Leroy's courage, wisdom, strength of mind and integrity will be a source of strength for me. Your pain must be very great for the loss of your beloved partner and the extraordinary human being that Leroy was. There's a defiant Spanish expression that I like "??Que me quiten lo bailado! This might be roughly paraphrased as "I may be suffering now, but nobody can ever take away from me the happiness I have experienced.
May God bless you and give you strength.

With much love and gratitude,

Catherine (Spain)

Sent by Catherine Doyle | 10:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

As Gete said it is an honor to lift you up in whatever way we can.

Leroy made a big difference to many of us out here - I can't imagine the loss you feel as his wife. Perhaps the blog can continue to help - the effects of Leroy's cancer are far from over.

I will continue to pray for you and for Leroy.

Sent by Geoff | 10:04 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely! Whatever you need!!

huff, huff, huff...liiiifffftttt!!!!!

Kathy Bero

Sent by Kathy Bero | 10:04 AM ET | 08-19-2008

You got it; always.

(P.S. This blog is amazing.)

Sent by Madeline | 10:05 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Lauri,
You don't even have to ask, just know that we all will lift you for however long you need. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful man, no hero with us. He was a gift to all of us and gave those of us with cancer hope and a voice. It didn't matter what type of cancer we had or if you were a family member caring for someone with cancer, Leroy spoke the truth and feelings that others do not see or feel.
When I saw the my caner blog on Saturday, my stomach hurt because I knew on the weekends I should not be getting a blog. My first thoughts after reading it was if you were alright. I know you lost the love of your life and best friend. In an odd way we all lost the best friend that none of knew accept for his writings. I know it is hard and it must be feeling unreal, maybe even unfair right now. Just know that Leroy conveyed to us how much he loved you and most likely is looking down still loving you, passing the tourch to us to support you now in your time of need.
I have stage IV NHL and Leroy's battle gave me hope each day when despair was all I could feel. He will be remembered for the unselfish way he gave of himself while he was battling the cancer. For bringing a smile to our faces when we could not think of smiling.
Keep your head up and your heart open Laurie, and know that you too were our hero. The partner who gave so much unselfishly. The partner that so many who don't have a suppost system took strenght from. Leroy may not be with us, but his spirit will live on in all of us for his words touched our heart.
Lean on us all you want and we will lift you, hold you up and love you.
May you find some peace,
Miriam

Sent by Miriam | 10:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, it's so good to read your words again. I hope you'll keep posting when you feel up to it. I don't think our conversation is over, by any means.

Please know that grief is a process. Share your fear, your sadness and your pain here. It will be an important part of the process and help you to deal with your loss.

Sent by Linnea | 10:07 AM ET | 08-19-2008

What can I say that hasn't been said? Leroy was a part of my life everyday. I looked forward to seeing how he was doing and how he was feeling. I was so sad to hear so abruptly that he died, when I was expecting him to be a part of my life for a while longer. My weekend was colored blue and the days after. He loved you Laurie - and you have that to hold onto. A life of love is a wonderful thing. I'm in my 50s and I've learned, and it took a long time, what the important things in life are. Love and a life well lived and enjoyed are what matter, and I think you and and Leroy had those important things. Carry on Laurie - you'll be in our hearts.

Sent by Kay Hickman | 10:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: I find it profoundly humbling that you would ask for "our" help. We have loved Leroy, and later you, for so long now. Both of you have been a beacon for people seaching for strength and kindness in this fight against a terrible enemy. When I heard the news on Saturday morning I was stunned. What will I do now? I felt as though I had lost a dear friend. I called my family and said my friend Leroy has passed away. Truely a light has gone out on earth. Laurie, please know that we need you now too...and we are privileged to be included in your world. We love you and will pray for your healing. God bless.

Sent by Patricia Greening | 10:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

The lingering sense of needing to care for a loved one who has been ill after they've been freed from their burden is a hard one for the caregiver. I found it helpful therapy to continue/complete the goals and projects my daughter and Dad had set before they left us. I'm sure Leroy's direction will continue to instruct and inform your life as you transition from caregiver to wherever your path takes you. Despite how it feels at the moment, you are stronger for the journey the two of you took together. My thoughts are with you, and I will be forever grateful for the amazing clarity Leroy's insights brought to my own recovery. Thank you and bless you!

Sent by Nancy M | 10:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

When I was lying on the stretcher in pre-op awaiting my second surgery for cancer, I looked over at my husband sitting in the chair and thought, "I'm so glad I'm on the stretcher and not the one in the chair". I've been able to deal with my cancer fine so far, but what is really scary is the thought of my husband getting seriously ill. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Pam | 10:09 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie -- oh how we wish we could take this pain away from you but the reality is we can not but we can be with you for as long as you need us! It would be an honor to be there for you. Leroy helped so many and you too now it is our turn to help you and hold you and lift you! I wish so badly I could just hold you and hug you but you will just have to close your eyes and feel it from here we all know what it is like to struggle and lose from this beast and although everyones expierence and relationships are unique we can relate. Laurie please know we all love you as we love Leroy and will be around for as long as you let us. This blog is what continues to help me with the loss of my father to this horrible disease -- NO-ONE understands quite like the wonderful people here lean on us when your not strong and we will help you carry on! Let Leroy be there for your he is all around you still and he will let it be known. I wish for you peace, comfort and strength! We are here Laurie! With lots of love, Cori Swanson

Sent by Cori Swanson | 10:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, We will carry you if need be. You have suffered such a great loss and noone expects you to spring right back. If you close your eyes and tune in, I'm sure you can feel the strength that is being sent your way. Hang on to your good memories and try to let the painful struggle associated with these last couple of years drift away. Hang on to your best memories - until you and Leroy meet again.

Sent by Jeanne Stevens | 10:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, Laurie,God gave Leroy the strength and humor to carry him through the fight--with your love and help. Now it's our turn to return the favor. May God bless you with love, and kindness, and strength of heart to keep on. I pray for you.

Sent by Peter in Colorado | 10:10 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,
You and Leroy have been a blessing to thousands of us over the years. We are only to happy to "lift" you up and do anything else we can. Please know that we are all here and giving you all of our support and strength. God bless you and may he ease the heartache you have at this time. Peace and Love to you.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 10:11 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Blessings and strength to you Laurie.

Sent by Jeff | 10:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
My cancer and my wife's cancer helps us appreciate the deep love we have for each other. Your and Leroy's love for each other is evident and will never fade. I admire him and you for being able to share that with us. Thank you.

Sent by Alan B. | 10:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Tonight I lit a candle for you and Leroy.
May others do so too at:
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?l=eng
Lots of love and Prayers,
Shom

Sent by Shom | 10:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie dear one, consider yourself "lifted" up in prayer and know that you are loved. Mrs. Woody

Sent by janet kurman hesselbarth | 10:13 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
As we watch the Olympics each day and observe the superhuman accomplishments of the athletes, we think of you as the one who deserves the Olympic Gold Medal for the Strength and Endurance that you have demonstrated not only in caring for Leroy, but for all of us. We are honored to have the opportunity to tell you how much we care for you. We hope this thought will lift your spirit during these most difficult days.

Dan and Katie with Balloons from Frederick Maryland

Sent by Dan McAleer | 10:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Bless you, Laurie. Uplifting thoughts and prayers are coming your way. xo

Sent by Liz | 10:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Love and prayers for you, Laurie.
Please take as great care of yourself as you did of Leroy, and be sure to give yourself plenty of love and grace.

Sent by Jen in Beijing | 10:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie you and Leroy are in my prayers. Love and lifting are my gift to you in thanks for all that you have given me.

Sent by Jon | 10:16 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, We are lifting. The first thing I did as my eyes opened this morning is pray for my mom in chemo. today and for you to be comforted today. You are in my prayers.

Sent by Stacy | 10:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

There are no words for how sorry I am for your loss. We all love Leroy so much, and miss him, but it must pale in comparison to how you are feeling. I know these last years have taken a toll on you as well, and you probably will collapse in a heap when everything is over. Take your time, rest, cry, and heal; and keep living life - Leroy would want it that way. My prayers for you will continue indefinitely. Bless you, and hey--Leroy, I sure do miss you.

Sent by Connie (Bungert) | 10:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I've been listening to the podcast and reading the blog almost since the beginning,but have never posted before today. I found the blog when my dad was diagnosed with a rare, inoperable cancer that took his life much too early. My dad was never one to say much, but Leroy helped me to understand what my Dad must have been thinking and feeling. Although my dad has been gone, I felt invested in Leroy's story and kept reading/listening and praying for a miracle for him. Please know that there are thousands of us out here in the blogosphere sending you support and caring thoughts. When I saw your post it reminded me how supportive my friends were when I lost my Dad. I couldn't have done it without them, so I'm posting this to give you my support from afar. Know that we are thinking about you and praying that you find peace and comfort.

Sent by Peg | 10:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Like thousands of others, you have been in my thoughts ever since yesterday morning, when I learned about Leroy. Leroy played such a large part in my ability to cope with the ups and downs of my treatment, and like many others I came to regard him as a support - a wise, witty and eloquent friend.
Anyone who has lived in Cancer World or in other, similar worlds knows that loved ones and friends are crucial. They hold us up when we lack the strength, they cheer us on when there are successes and improvements, they help us to fight so many of our battles. At the same time, we know that they are fighting their own battles, have their own fears and anxieties.
Laurie, over the past years you have run a gauntlet. You have courageously and steadfastly supported Leroy as well as all of us. I salute you and honor you for your strength and for your amazing heart.
Bless you and keep you! You are in my prayers.

Sent by Shosh Westen | 10:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we are here for you. And there's no pressure...we're not expecting ANYthing from you, we just want you to be well and we're desperate to do something to help you. You and Leroy have given us so much, and we want to return some of that love and wisdom.

Hang tight, girlfriend; you are not alone.

Peace
jj

Sent by Joan Jones | 10:18 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I have read this blog faithfully for almost as long as Leroy has been writing it...I am an ovarian cancer survivor. I lost my husband of 21 years in February. You will have bad days and good days, and gradually you will have more good days than bad days. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about what other people think you should do or feel. I feel like I knew Leroy after all this time and I can't even write this without getting weepy. You are a part of this community and always will be. We're all capable of helping with a little heavy lifting...

Sent by Kitty J | 10:18 AM ET | 08-19-2008

As long as it takes girlfriend, as long as it takes

Sent by fay in az | 10:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

This must be such a sad time for you but please know that you are standing on the shoulders of all the loyal readers and fans of this blog. I know you and Leroy derived strength from us in the past and know that we offer that same strength for you now.

Sent by Andrea Clay | 10:20 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Thinking of you often........

Sent by Allison Wilson | 10:20 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Welcome to the world of life giver survivors. It's also a club none of us would choose to join. The one thing we have in common is strength--we helped our husbands, wives, parents, sisters, brothers, friends in their final journey that was filled with fear and pain. We now can lend our strength to you, for as long as you need us.

I'm glad to hear that you and Leroy had twenty some years together. Pat was buried on our 24th wedding anniversary. Eventually you will look back and know that you were blessed with that many years of a good relationship--do you know how many people would give anything for even one year of what you and Leroy (and Pat and I) had? Right now, of course, all you can think of is 'but that's not enough! I want more!!' Those are honest words.

One thing I thought of: Isn't this community, this garden of love and caring about the best present Leroy could ever have left for you? You've got thousands of people lifting you up for as long as you need. That's a wonderful gift--embrace it.

Hugs and prayers.

Sent by Kathy Bareny from Michigan | 10:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Lifting as long as you need, but with tears in my eyes.

Sent by Ben | 10:24 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, In a somewhat unexpected sort of way, Leroy is doing the lifting now. Through the creation of this blog, he built something that will continue to lift people, including his beloved, for a very long time. I'm pretty sure he understood that this forum would help sustain you, as well as us, in an important and meaningful way after he left us. We'll help to carry the weight along with Leroy now.

Sent by Steve Horn | 10:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I lost my dad a few months ago in a very similar situation. You want to believe that "it's better this way", "he was in so much pain", "he wasn't himself"....all the comfort phrases we come up with. But then in sinks in ...."why did ANY of this have to happen to him?---why did he have to get cancer at all?" Nobody has answers and we can never understand why things happen the way they do. As humans, many of us hate to give up what we think is control. We can't control any of this and it hurts.

A few months away from my dad's death I'm realizing that it hits me hard when I least expect it---sad memories and very happy memories both. May you come to be at peace with Leroy's passing and be able to expect and handle the long and changing road ahead.

Sent by Alexis | 10:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I am sending you much love and good
thoughts from Texas.
Kathy

Sent by Kathy Hoerle | 10:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I will continue to lift your name in prayer,Laurie. May God bless you with peace of mind and spirit.

Sent by TCK | 10:29 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Deepest sympathy to you, Laurie, and all of Leroy's friends on this great loss. I for one can't stop myself coming here every day. Is there any way that you could keep posting - allowing us to give you love and support - or if NPR doesn't want to continue the blog, maybe it could be transfered to the MS or Yahoo boards. Even tho I've only posted once before, as a cancer survivor, I have been uplifted by Leroy and everyone else here. I've thought of Leroy and Spanky often the past few days. While he is in a better place free of pain, I know the pain you are experiencing is almost unbearable, Love and prayers to you and know that he must be watching over.

Sent by Susan-Tampa | 10:30 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We are all here for you Laurie, as long as you need us. Many prayers for you-

Sent by Merin | 10:30 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
We are here for you as long as you wish. And, I trust that you realize that you are supporting all of us as well by allowing us to continue to be part of your life.

Sent by Judy | 10:31 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie

Thank you for having the courage to reach out to us. Thank you for the strength to open your heart to all of us. I have great admiration for you and Leroy being willing to share yourselves so freely, earnestly and honestly.

I am so sorry for your loss. Although I am generally an optimistic person and see much good in the world.... the brightness of possibility feels dimmer with Leroy's death. I only 'knew' Leroy through the blog, so can hardly imagine how sharp the pain is for you who knew him so well, so long. Please know that you are in my thoughts, and I send you wishes for strength and healing now and in the days to come.

Sent by Missy | 10:32 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I can only imagine how you feel right now. I have periodically kept up with the blog during my own battle with Lymphoma. It helps me remember that each day is a blessing and has given me the lift that I have needed many times. I am luckly in complete remmision right now and hopefully forever! I send you and your family all of my love!!

Sent by Briana | 10:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We thank you Laurie, NPR, Ted Koppel & all who enable us to find the strength to lift, remember our loved ones and continue the dialogue.
A link to beauty:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosetry845/2763805639/

Sent by J Ron | 10:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You now know where I hang my hat. I expect a knock on the door to walk or chat. You are strong lady. Go with love. Nancy G.(the pool)

Sent by Nancy Goldberg | 10:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie Dear, We are the Lifters You are the Anchor. Please do not let us drift apart. We need YOU, that is your Lift. Loving You, Elizabeth

Sent by Elizabeth | 10:34 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, We are all thinking of you and want to help lift your spirits. We are here for you!
Laura

Sent by Laura | 10:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

1 - 2 - 3 we shall all pray for thee.

Sent by C | 10:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I want to share a moment from my drive yesterday. Talk of the Nation was on with Ted Koppel. The show was about Leroy. As they were signing off, they said some touching things and the grief hit me. I started to cry. I looked at the car next to me and the woman in the next lane was also wiping tears from her eyes. Leroy touch many, many people. He was clearly a special man. So many people are missing him and hoping you and your family will feel a little less pain each day. We are thinking of you and, while we cannot know what it feels like for you or what you are going through, we are grieving with you.

Sent by Megan | 10:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie: Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. It is so hard to lose someone you love so much, even when you know that the day is coming because of a terminal illness. I have read Leroy's blog every day as I am a cancer survivor. His words and humor have been a God send, and his memory will be with us forever as he has helped us all on the journey through cancer world.
Know that we are out here, thinking of you, and trying to help you in your grief. Even though Leroy is freed from the bonds of the cancer, it will take time for you to feel secure in that thought. We'll lift you up each day with our love and prayers.

Sent by Kate | 10:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Just keep coming to the site - we will be here for you. Remember, we are all in this together!

Sent by Jan | 10:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I say again, do what Leroy would want for you and take care of yourself. Do not worry about us bloggers! We'll be here!

Sent by Betty O'Connor | 10:42 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Whenever, wherever, and as long as you need us....we'll be here.

Sent by Mack, Atlanta, GA | 10:43 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - Where else would we be? As one of the legions of caregivers and cancer patients and others who sign on every morning, there is really no where else to go.

I leave home every morning to come to work and my husband, who has Stage IV metatastic bladder cancer (dx Oct 2004 with Stage I) is asleep at home. As he likes to say, his "pulled date expired a month ago"...He has outlived his prognosis since metatasis by exactly one month.

Yesterday on my way home, an ambulance turned down our street in front of me. And I hoped it wasn't going to our home. No, not this time.

I wake at night and listen to see if he is still breathing, like I did when the children were small. Yes, he's still breathing.

There is simply no where else to go Laurie. We are here, lifting you and being lifted ourselves.

And we will be here tomorrow morning and the morning after.

Sent by Ricci | 10:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: God bless you and keep you. Did you know that "Goodbye" is an ancient contraction for "God be with you"??? As you part with Leroy, let this comfort you a little. You don't know me, but we have probably breathed the same molecules a few times and are connected chemically as well as through words and thoughts. One, two, three, LIFT.

Sent by Madeleine | 10:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You are lifted up by so many. Your feet may never touch the ground. Always know that we will catch you if you fall and lift you up again.

Margaret

Sent by Margaret Fowler | 10:47 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I began reading Leroy's blog shortly after seeing him on a show about cancer hosted by Ted Koppell. My best friend had just been diagnosed with stage IV bladder cancer and I was eager to learn as much as I could about the disease and what he would be facing. Leroy's words gave me such a good understanding of what Joe was probably thinking and feeling, even though he and I could not often bring ourselves to talk about it. I told him about Leroy's blog and encouraged him to read it, thinking how much it might help him to know he wasn't alone in what he was undergoing. I don't know if he ever did. We didn't talk about it much. In the beginning, it was too awful to contemplate and it was important to him that I keep treating him as normally as possible for as long as possible. Then, during a brief reprieve when the chemo seemed to be working and he had several "good" months (if there is such a thing in Cancer World), we didn't want to spoil the moment by talking about the bad things to come. But it was always there, the elephant in the room. And when Joe's cancer exploded, as Leroy's did, and there was nothing more the doctor's could do for him, talking about it just got in the way of what few "normal" moments he had left. So instead, we watched his beloved Yankees (even though I'm a Red Sox fan), drank endless cups of tea, collaborated on the daily crossword puzzle (it always made him mad that I knew all the French words), harvested the last tomatoes of summer from his garden, and tried to lose ourselves in old Bill Murray movies that always made him laugh.

Joe died a year ago this Saturday. I think that's part of why Leroy's last few weeks hit me particularly hard; it was like reliving Joe's death all over again.

There were so many times in the last 20 months when I thought to respond to one of Leroy's posts, but I never did. I guess I just never felt worthy, like I couldn't possibly have anything to say that would change things for him. I selfishly took strength and comfort from a dying man and never offered the same in return. I can't do that anymore. And even though it's too late for me to say this to Leroy, I had to write and tell you, Laurie, how much Leroy has meant to me over the past 20 months, and how much I will miss his humor, his courage, and his strength. I thank him, and you, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me get through this journey through Cancer World. May you always have as much love and support through the rest of your life as you and Leroy have given to all of us.

Sent by Nancy K. in Pennsylvania | 10:47 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
It was good to open my e-mail and see that you were there. We will be here for you as long as you need us. I am sending thoughts and prayers.
Charlotte Kewish in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 10:47 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
One of my biggest frustrations with death is knowing that nothing I can say or do can ease the pain of the ones left behind. We all have to grieve in our own way and it is the grieving process that eventually brings healing.
I'm so sorry for your loss. May you find the strength and serenity to get you through these difficult days,weeks, months,years... as long as it takes.
Peace

Sent by Susan from Michigan | 10:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
My thoughts and prayers will be with you daily. This community is one that will be with you for as long as you need us. Leroy was such an Inspiration to everyone reading this blog. His words made you think and realize how precious each day is and we should live each day, as if it were our last. Bless You Laurie !!!

Sent by Vickie Brown | 10:48 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, in the midst of your incredible loss, you are so kind to ask us, the readers of this blog, to help lift you up. You keenly know and understand that we are all at a loss and want desperately to help somehow. Thank you for thinking of us. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family. I feel as if I have lost a close friend.

Sent by Kathy Roe | 10:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie:

When I had my MRI I literally could feel the hands of those who loved me holding me up off the table. A beloved Navajo friend was holding a prayer ceremony for me during my surgery, and I swear the energy filled the operating room. I hope you feel the same from us.

One thing, I agree that people will say some dumb things to you in the next few months, I've certainly said my own share of dumb things. But the lesson of cancer, if any there is, is to look beyond the awkward and strange words, odd comparisons, and lack of polish in what people say to you, and understand that they are trying to reach out with love and caring.

I had one neighbor flat out ask to see my scar the day I got home from the hospital. I didn't know her well, and I felt she had stepped in a little too closely, but I knew she was trying to show me that it wasn't "ugly" to her . . .so I showed her.

Well, I won't run on. You have your own journey now. I hope you can feel the hands of light holding you up with love.

Peggy C.

Sent by Peggy Carey | 10:49 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, this is the beginning of the rest of Leroy's cancer journey. When my sister died I was filled with relief that she wasn't suffering anymore, and that carried me for several months. I depended a lot on friends and the rest of my family, and found that talking about her helped.

You'll continue to be in my thoughts, Laurie.

Sent by LindaK | 10:50 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, The coming days will not be easy, as you very well know. Time helps, but the pain is there, although not as sharp. I went to grief counseling, where all but two of us had lost spouses or companions. For the other person and me, it was a parent. It helped me to sit there at one meeting and cry the entire time. I had cried alone and with family and friends, but it was so cathartic to cry with people who were virtual strangers, but who understood. Perhaps that is what we are, here on the blog--the strangers who understand so well what your grief is at this moment and a safe haven for you.

Sent by Susan in the beautiful mountains of Colorado | 10:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

People don't understand how much the caregivers need lifting. As someone who has cared for a cancer survivor hang in there and know that there are many out there with you in their thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Rose Welch | 10:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We are all sisters and brothers and we know your need. God be with you as you find again what you already know. That is, we each can do anything we have to do. Collectively, it is lighter but it just takes a long time. With love

Sent by Lucy from Alaska | 10:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie
We lift you, we love you, and we will always be here for you. You are so precious to us and we are your Army and family forever.
Dearest Sasha - I hold you and keep you in my heart too.

Sent by Tina from Alton, IL | 10:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

For as long as you want me to. Up you go!

Blessings.

Sent by Diana Kitch | 10:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We've got your back, Laurie. Just as Leroy had ours and we had his. In fact, I'd like to think that Leroy's still got our backs only now he's smiling that amazing 1,000 watt grin he flashed during Ted Koppel's memorial to him last nite on Nightline. What a great piece Ted did. What fabulous 'material' he had to work with!
Love,
Anita

Sent by Anita Solomon | 10:57 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, it takes a truly special and courageous individual to turn a terminal diagnosis into a lesson for the rest of us on how to live.

I'm not sure you realize the extent of Leroy's impact, but it reached well beyond the cancer world. Each day I would visit this site for inspiration, strength and perspective...not as a cancer survivor, but as a human being in need of a helpful reminder of the important things in life. And Leroy never let me down.

If I could touch even a fraction of the souls that Leroy has and show the kind of bravery, compassion and wisdom in the absolute worst of situations, I would consider mine a life well-spent.

God bless you both.

Sent by Dave | 11:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Lifting

Sent by jack | 11:01 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I think we're all here today because we knew we needed each other and Laurie, you have given us so much that we are grateful for the opportunity to give something back to you.
As words of comfort let me tell you that although my wonderful parents died some years ago, I am almost daily aware that in some way they are still with me.

Sent by Tara | 11:03 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh, yes, Laurie I am here for you. I am praying hard for God to give you the strength to carry on until you meet Leroy again....and you will. Some think that this happens in a blink of an eye, we just do not know this yet. I also have stage 4 CC and Leroy has helped me so much! Im here. Sue

Sent by sue | 11:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we will continue to lift you. I can remember vividly the first few days after my grandfather passed from metastisized bladder cancer that was in his spine and lungs. He held on for so long that in the end we were almost begging him to go (he was in a coma) and yet, when the time came, altough there was 1% relief, there was 99% grief of the huge whole he had left in all of us. Know that there are many walking on your same path and are trying to wrap their brains about all that has been lost. But the amazing thing, is Leroy isn't in pain, he's not restricted by his mobility and he wants us all to go on. Especially you. I hope that you know that all of us who have read about Leroy and your journey are wishing we could physically be there for you with hugs, funny stories and love.

Sent by jen | 11:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you have many, many people lifting you now. Not only the ones who are leaving a comment, but the thousands who read this blog who do not comment. We are all lifting you with our prayers and our thoughts.

Susan

Sent by Susan | 11:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Like I told Leroy months ago, sometimes when I ride or run, I dedicate the effort to someone who needs it. Today my ride is yours. Sending all the strength, sweat and positive energy generated by my effort today your way through prayer. Let's roll....

Sent by Missy Patterson | 11:06 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We love Leroy and we love you. You have been a tremendous force on this blog and everyone here will be more than happy to lift you, even when you don't ask. You and Leroy are in my thoughts and prayers. He was an amazing man and you in turn are an amazing woman. As you can see, we're not going anywhere.

Sent by roni | 11:07 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

They always say when lifting something, you're supposed to use your legs. This lift, from all of us, comes from our hearts. And there's plenty more where that came from.

Sent by Scott | 11:08 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I know what you're going through. Hang in there. I lost my husband Mike in April to appendiceal cancer. He was the love of my life. It's not easy. Don't be afraid to get medical help. Anti-depressants help to tone down the grief. Family and friends are a lifeline, especially those who know and love Leroy. Talk it out. Cry it out.
Write it out.
Stay active. Excercise and sun help.
Every day I try to read some of Mike's writings or listen to recordings of his music. They help to keep him close.

My thoughts are with you!

Jennifer Le Doux

Sent by Jennifer Le Doux | 11:09 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I can't find the right words ... but I am one of the lucky ones and my arms are strong again, so I can help LIFT. Know that we are all here holding you up.

Sent by Susan | 11:09 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
My thoughts and prayers and hands and arms are with you, making your load lighter.
Love,
Carolyn

Sent by Carolyn Benson | 11:11 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie:
Keep talking, we are with you for now and always, just as we are for Leroy.
Love, Don

Sent by don winslow | 11:11 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie,
Thanks so much for asking for help now. It helps me to know that just by sending my thoughts for your comfort I can lift you up for a bit longer. I believe we're all here for you and that we'll continue to help lift you as long as you need us and a bit longer than that.

Sent by Tess | 11:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Joy And Sorrow Chapter VIII
Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall. Khalil Gibran 1923

PS We will lift you up for as long as you need! DL

Sent by Deborah L | 11:12 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -- Please know that we are all circling around you and lifting you up...up...up.

Some years ago, a 39 year old neighbor and very good friend, died suddenly of a massive heart attack. She was a beloved high school English teacher in a Catholic school. I called the school to find out about memorial plans. A very empathetic nun could tell I was shocked and agonizingly sad. She said to me: "You know, you can always talk to Ruth."

I've remembered that advice ever since when I have lost family members and friends. Have a chat with Leroy!

Sent by Leslie Bjorncrantz | 11:14 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, in lifting you, we lift us all. 1,2,3...1,2,3....1,2,3 toward infinity.

Sent by Cory from Cowboy Country | 11:15 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

Both you and Leroy are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I hope you will let us know how you are doing. We will be good listeners for you.

I miss him.

We will lift you forever.

Sent by barbara j | 11:16 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I obviously don't know you personally but I believe you are an amazing woman. As a lifegiver myself I know the trials you went through caring for Leroy. Everytime I think I am being "put out" to go the extra mile for my husband I stop and think what he has been through and has never once complained. His personality is much like what I think Leroys was. You have lifted us so many times with your beautiful writing so here goes....on the count of three! Atta girl. Leroy must be so proud of you.

Sent by Kathie | 11:16 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I'm so sorry for your loss, and grateful to you and Leroy for the gift of this blog. Reading the remembrances, it's been a pleasure to me to see all the pictures of Leroy's life "before," and I know you'll hold the full scope of him in your heart.

Sent by Heather | 11:16 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie I so hope you are feeling the warm, endearing hugs and thoughts and prayers being sent your way. Please stay right here and draw from this amazing group. You've given so much. Can't thank you enough. Nor do words sufficiently express my sadness over your loss. Although online, it truly is an honor knowing you.

Sent by JSM | 11:17 AM ET | 08-19-2008

My dearest Laurie,

I know the pain injected into your being when you first learned of Leroys
diagnosis years ago. I know every pain Leroy experienced since that point was absorbed by you, sinking deeply into the ever caring and loving creature
you are. I know as your journey though this life progressed, you continued
to love, continued to care, continued to smile, however difficult the circumstances, you continued, for Leroy, to be the caring and loving creature you are. I know through all of this, while you loved and cared, you cried. I know you cried, in deep sadness and pain, all long, cried and cried in silence. I know if it were not for you, Leroys voice would not have been heard so clearly by so
many and for that I forever extend endless gratitude to him...and you.
I know now is the time for you to cry, cry out loud, let the tears flow until
they 'just don't flow no more'. And in the end, when your all cried out, you will find the loving and caring creature you are is still there, alive and well, more loving and caring than ever, not because of Leroys death, but because of Leroys life....with you. I know Laurie Singer has a life to live, a life that will continue to reflect the loving and caring creature you are. This is what you are, this is what will be. Way to go Laurie Singer....way to go.....

Sent by jim in dallas | 11:19 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

I am lifting with all my strength & heart & mind and soul. May the tears we all shed become a river of love lifting and carrying you into a place of peace.

With love from southern California,
Lesley

Sent by Lesley Yadon | 11:20 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, of course we are here to lift you up. But I have a request, even though perhaps this is not the proper time to make it. We also need you to lift us up. Is it possible you would continue this blog in some form? Certainly not daily, but perhaps weekly or monthly? Then we we can continue to hear how you are doing, and we can still communicate with you and one another as well. I received great comfort from "My Cancer" not only from Leroy, but from the community of people who gave advice, sought support, told wonderful stories. I really think the blog has become a living organism. And look at the more than 1,000 posters who replied the day after Leroy died!!!!! Awe inspiring. Anyway, dear Laurie, when you can breathe again, consider a continuation in some form. We would be so very grateful, and I think Leroy would approve. He is watching, you know... I believe he is right beside you.

Sent by Wendy | 11:21 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Well, as someone else said, it is our privelege and honor to walk beside you and hold you in our hearts.

Thank you for asking.

Nancy O

Sent by Nancy Oliveri | 11:23 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you know all of our hearts and thoughts are with you. As a caregiver knowing the day will come when I will be alone, I can only anticipate your pain.
Count on your friends to help with the void. They will be there for you, as are all of us.

Sent by Kathy | 11:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely, you can count me in. Keeping you in my prayers.

Janie

Sent by Janie | 11:25 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, Keeping you in my thoughts and lifting with everyone else. Prayers and peace, always...

Sent by Julie | 11:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, of course we will all be lifting you and somewhere Leroy is lifting you too. Praying for you in Virginia.....Becky

Sent by Becky | 11:27 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I was so glad to see your post this morning. Though we are all feeling only the distant echo of your grief, it is an honor and a privilege to be asked to 'lift' you. It is perhaps too soon for any advice, reading suggestions, etc...but do come back and ask as you are able. Sending good thoughts through the sadness.

Sent by Leigh | 11:30 AM ET | 08-19-2008

One...two...three...lift. Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Sent by Natalie | 11:30 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I will "lift" you today and for many days after....as long as you need it.

Sent by Tracy | 11:32 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I am so sorry for your loss and the loss to so many of us who followed Leroy's Blog each day. I felt so attached to him and marveled at how he maintained his positive attitude and sense of humor..my hero! His energy expressed in his writing...such a wonderful presence. A gentle soul.
As you are lifted, fill your heart with remembered joys. I am supporting you always. Leroy is at peace and now the journey is yours.. a time of healing and finding your own peace.
Namaste

Sent by Julia W. | 11:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

One of the things Leroy showed us is that we are all connected. I hope you can feel that connection as you work through your grief and know that you are not alone. Love and peace to you, Laurie. We will always hold you up.

Sent by JeriAnn | 11:33 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Leroy's blog gave me insight into what someone who is dealing with cancer is experiencing. This was invaluable as it helped me be a better friend and partner to my best friend in his battle with cancer. They are both very special people and will be missed greatly. Big hugs, Laurie!

Sent by Amanda | 11:34 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hello...yet another Laurie to add to the list =) I, too lost my husband to cancer at the age of 44 - in 1997. Hardest thing I ever did and I want you to know that much like another Laurie here said (Laurie Hirth) - it *does* get easier to breathe & eat and be the New Normal...Keep asking for help for every little thing - there are bunches of great people here to Lift you,
Laurie.

xo

Sent by Laurie K | 11:34 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
you might think this a little " odd duckish" but I could not stop talking about Leroy and his possitive affect on so many people, at our Bon-fire Friday night. I believe we have a wonderful angel man looking out for us on another channel.His spirit lives on in all of us.
sending you much love. Sarah j

Sent by Sarah J | 11:35 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Sending you a "lift" from Wisconsin.... breathe deep, and 1-2-3...the lift is to you my friend.

Continuing to think of both you and Leroy and getting today's message and seeing the NPR blog email in my IN box brought a smile to my face since I've become so accumstomed to the daily messages. Thank you for the continued lift.

Sent by Jennifer White | 11:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Your strength has been inspiring, you 'lifted' Leroy for so long, the least we can do is 'lift' you up. Revel in the love and strength that this community can provide.

Sent by Phil H. | 11:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

All together now...LIFT! We thank you for your strength and we thank you for your willingness to share Leroy with us. Be well.

Sent by Laura | 11:36 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Although we all knew this time would come we still weren't prepared. We grieve with you. He was a wonderful and giving human being - who shared the most trying time of his life with us all.

What a gift. Thank you for helping him through this and being there for us and for him. We'll keep lifting as long as you need us.

Sent by Kathleen | 11:37 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I like what Scott said upthread -- instead of lifting with our legs, we're lifting with our hearts. On the count of three, we'll all LIFT together.
Please know that, in the past, your words have given me a lift during some of the low moments as life-giver for my husband.

Sent by bev | 11:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you are on my shoulders for as long as you need. Love and strength to you!

Sent by Nancy Mathias | 11:38 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie~
Thinking of you and your loss.
Know how strong you had to be. Sure
you are feeling so much now that you can let go. Will "lift" for as long as you need.
Love,
Kathleen

Sent by Kathleen | 11:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I've never commented here before but have been a loyal reader. And will continue to be for as long as you need someone to lift you or just listen to you. I lost my 37 year old cousin back in May. Reading Leroy helped me to understand what she was going through. Reading you helps me to deal with what our family is going through. Confirms we are not alone in grief over someone special stolen away too soon by cancer. I hope my little note gives even just a tiny bit of that back to you. Wishing you moments of peace and rest in the coming days.

Sent by Kimberly | 11:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." ~Eskimo Proverb

Please know you our in our thoughts.

Sent by cindi | 11:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I join the thousands of daily readers who started every day with Leroy. I missed him on the weekends. I got up a bit earlier on Monday's to have my morning touched by something, anything that Leroy had to say. So I sit here on Tuesday, so shocked and heartsick at our loss. Unable to find any words through the tears yesterday. I find it remarkable that I feel such a deep and profound sense of loss for someone that I never met. So I want you to know that your burden is shared. Even though I haven't met you, like my feelings for Leroy, they apply to you. So take it one breath at a time. That's the only thing you need to do...breathe. The rest will take care of itself. So I'm lifting you with every bit of stregnth I have and wish you courage and grace and peace as you deal with your loss. You have my deepest sympathy.

Sent by Gabrielle | 11:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hello Laurie:
I watched Ted Koppel's tribute to Leroy on Nightline last night. It broke my heart all over again. As a Canadian, our Discovery Channel never aired Ted and Leroy's cancer documentary and, apparently, I'm too dense to figure out how to listen to NPR via computer! So, yesterday was the first time I heard Leroy's great 'broadcast' voice. I can only imagine the renowned belly laugh. Ted's tribute was eloquent and classy -- just like Leroy. May faith, love and sweet memories give you some measure of comfort for now and the days ahead. I can only hope that some good comes out of Leroy's brave, determined struggle and willingness to share his personal journey with the world.

Nancy from Canada

Sent by Nancy Boomer | 11:39 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I have never had cancer and no one in my immediate family has been touched by the disease, but I read Leroy's blog every day for years. I wasn't fighting cancer, but Leroy gave me the courage to fight other battles. I'll miss his daily dose of bravery.

Sent by Dru | 11:40 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
1,2,3...Lift!
Repeat!
Again!

You are in my thoughts and prayers!
God knows your sorrows. He can and will provide.
Years ago when my mom died I felt God's nearness, His compassion and His love. What a blessing. I hope this will be true for you as well.

Hang in there. If you need anything let me know!
Much Love!

Sent by Rita | 11:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

I can't really imagine what the last few months have been like for you, but your love and energy always shone through. So many of us got to knew you and Leroy through this blog and will miss these insights a lot. My thoughts and heart are with you. The heaviest "lifter" of all is time. May it heal quickly.

Sent by Toby Levine | 11:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

You can take some comfort in knowing that all this has made a difference in many lives. While Leroy's suffering is over and he is in a better place, your's is at its height. It will get better, and we are here for you to ease your pain in any way we can.

All our best.

Sent by Don Richard (Rehoboth, MA) | 11:41 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I have never posted an email to a blog before but I wanted to let you know that your husband touched my life in ways I could not have imagined. I have followed Leroy's blog religiously since the first day I heard him on the radio. His honesty and courage affected me from the start. He did so much to generate hope, courage and determination for so many.

Words cannot measure your loss nor can they effectively convey my sadness that cancer finally claimed the life of a great man.

I never met Leroy Sievers and it is likely that you and I will never meet, but you have both touched my life and, for that, I thank you.

Sent by Donna Daneke | 11:43 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

You didn't give up on Leroy, and we aren't going to give up on you. I'm sure not going to stop checking in on the site and checking to see how you are doing. Please - be honest with us. If you're sad and missing him, don't give us sunshine and daisies for our sake. If you're having a good day and happy, don't think we're going to begrudge you that.

Hugs and love from Kansas

Sent by GFC | 11:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I'm one of the grateful lifters too. I see in one of the obituaries that you two were together for 25 years and got married in June. I only "knew" him 2 years. . .you were so lucky for 25!
I'm glad he took his friend's advice about that.
You were always so thoughtful in writing to us when Leroy couldn't. Love to you always. . . and continued lifting!
~ Margo

Sent by Margo Gerber | 11:44 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, Anytime you need a lift - I'll be here. You became part of this blog a long time ago. You will never completely leave the cancer world, but now your journey begins. My prayers are with you.

Sent by Joyce | 11:46 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Thank you for inviting Leroy's friends to help support you. He was there for us and it is only right that we are there for you.
Please know how much we all appreciate you standing by us in our communal expression of grief.
I have copied so many passages from this blog over the years. I keep them on slips of paper in my wallet; plastered on my computer; wedged in whatever I am currently reading. They have sustained me and my hope is that this one will support you, too.

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul,
and sings the tune without the words,
and never stops at all.
Emily Dickinson

You and Leroy remain in my prayers. Peace be with you.

Sent by jessie | 11:47 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I am so very sorry for your loss, though that sounds inadequate. Leroy was so generous of himself with all of us strangers and he created quite a community. As time passes, if there is anything that we can do in addition to thinking about you and offering you our caring thoughts and virtual hugs, please let us know. I do believe that you can feel the vibe from this group.
You know that your road ahead will be painful, but you will find a way to heal over time.

Sent by Maggie in Seattle | 11:47 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We'll be with you on any road you'll travel.

Sent by Libby | 11:47 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Thank you a thousand times for acknowledging that you need the support of those of us who have been following this blog! Even in your sadness, you are giving us a gift, allowing us to offer the comfort of tender words and heartfelt prayers, since we cannot be there with you. Please do not doubt that, with Leroy "well" at last, our hearts and minds are now turned wholly to you, his loving and steadfast mate.
Laurie, please change your daily routine as soon as possible. Having recently lost my mother, I know that the most difficult thing for me has been to break those automatic habits, learned from giving her daily care.
Remember that Leroy is healthy and vital once again, and that he is certainly smiling and laughing with you.
Oh, and of course, he sends you his love!

Sent by Frances Price | 11:51 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie, as you read my message, please take the moment to experience the WARMTH of ALL of Leroy's admirers the world over enveloping you with love. THAT's my gift to comfort you. Leroy is an awesome inspiration to me.... as I live every day in that same world of "my cancer". Nineteen years ago, with 2 litle boys - 5 and 1 - I lost a breast to cancer. But I was given the gift of 17 years to see them grow into fine, beautiful young men. In April 2007, my cancer returned... with a vengence... metastisized to my bones. I listen to NPR radio every day and visit the website often...when I found Leroy's blog, I was totally hooked! Leroy spoke for me! I've printed out the entire blog - more than 2 reams of paper! And I carry my favorite postings with me so I can read a daily dose of laughter, comfort and strength whenever I need a boost..... Laurie... Please consider publishing Leroy's blog... His message could reach sooooooo many more people in this world who aren't as lucky as us to find his story out here in cyberspace. I would leave that book in my personal effects for those I love to find.... While I've tried to begin recording my own journey, I can't seem to get over my mind's "roadblock" of telling me that writing my story is the "beginning of the end"... but maybe just writing this hearfelt message to you will get me over that. Cherish every memory - it will keep you strong.

Sent by Debbie Thomas | 11:53 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

As much as you must be hurting right now, the wrods "this too shall pass" have always helped. We are NEVER alone. We are always supporting one another...you are being lifted by many. With Love, Fatima Silva

Sent by Fatima Silva | 11:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Boy Laurie. This community is so dynamic it would be a real shame to see it disappear because Leroy is no longer with us. After folk lift you up a bit maybe you can find away to keep the blog going with NPR's help. I am seeing a whole lot of separation anxiety out there in these memorial posts because Leroy has passed, mostly from people who have never meet him.

After you have healed some, maybe you can role up the sleeves and find a way to keep this going. Sometimes projects like that can help you heal. Might be a nice legacy for Leroy and a welcome source of comfort relief to the citizens of Cancer World.

I don't have Cancer. I just grew up with Leroy. This community is amazing. I bet you will get more support than you can possibly imagine. You are truly not alone in grieving your loss.

Sent by Robert Millsap | 11:55 AM ET | 08-19-2008

i am fond of full moons. according to the farmers almanac the 16th was full sturgeon moon.

Sent by elida | 11:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

We are here for you Laurie.We can all lift each other when lifting is needed. Keeping you in my heart,
love from sherri in texas

Sent by Sherri Eggleston | 11:56 AM ET | 08-19-2008

Ask no more...you have been lifted!!!! You are in my prayers Laurie!

Sent by Cristina Barthel in Tampa, FL | 12:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Of course we can keep lifting you Honey. As long as you need us, we're here. God grant you peace and strength.

Robert Sheehan

Sent by Robert Sheehan | 12:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie, Please know that I am praying for you in such a sad time. I am reminded so much of the pain I have lived from missing loved ones. One of my favorite quotes is from CS Lewis - "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal." I tend to turn that around also to 'the happines I feel now is the pain I had before'. As we experience life, our measurement stick changes, the greater the pain we have felt, the greater the joy we are capable of having and vica versa.

The only thing that makes such pain tolerable is hope. This is the hope of re-union through eternal life in Christ. Such a hope is Grace in its most amazing form.
Much love and prayers,
Mary

Sent by Mary | 12:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We are right here beside you sister! There are many, many of us out here who understand the long road you have traveled and will continue to travel. You are family and we love you too.

Sent by Lisa Y. | 12:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
How wonderful that you have written. While we're lifting you, you're lifting us. I lost my husband of 40 years on Father's Day this year and life will never be the same. I'm finding that I need my friends and family to let me talk about my husband, his illness and my feelings. Sometimes, when I mention his name, silence ensues and I have to pretend that everything is alright. Pretending is difficult. I try to escape into activities but sometimes a good cry is a much better device. My thoughts and prayers are with you. The only advice that I can offer at this point is that each day will bring new emotions. No two days are the same. Be well.

Sent by Elaine | 12:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

How lovely to hear from you this morning ~ It feels as if we're hearing from Leroy, as well. Thank you so much for reaching out to us here, and for inviting us to be a part of your heart's sorrow and tending. As we remain united to lift you, we lift one another ~ We learned that from your beloved Leroy. What a gift!

On Saturday, I had a Philly Cheese Sandwich - my first ever! - in honor of Leroy (and now, I'm addicted). My friends and I toasted our iced teas to Leroy's life and journey. In the dailiness of our lives, we all carry Leroy - and you - in our hearts and thoughts as we go about the ordinary stuff.

I could go on and on ... but I will close for now with this:

"A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty."
~Phillipe Aries

We understand ...

Loving and lifting,

Kim Forester

Sent by Kim Forester | 12:02 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, you've got it! As much lifting as I can do...and all of us together. Laurie thank you for posting today...we need and love to hear from you too. I wasn't going to look at this NPR page today, wondering if it would be discontinued. Thank you for reminding us of that day he wrote about the lift. It's something we can all remember with you. And for the info about where to send a memorial donation. One is on the way! Now, one of my quirks is remembering disconnected lines of old hymns...eventually all the lines come back to me. But here's part of one "...when nothing else could help, Love lifted me."

Sent by Sally in Spokane | 12:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I was drawn to Leroy for some reason. Maybe it was his personal struggle. Maybe it was his incredible insight and superior craft as a writer. I am a writer, too, but not as skilled as Leroy. I can't begin to say how many times I felt inspired by his blog and the thousands of readers who responded. I've lost numerous family members and friends to cancer, and while it is a familiar world, it's still one that frightens me. But Leroy's blog so beautifully chronicled living --- not dying. My deepest sympathy and prayers for your loss. It was a great experience knowing him. I wish I could have known him better.

Sent by Tim in Rochester, NY | 12:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I am sending you love and strength and deepest sympathy. When my sister died, her boyfriend sent me a copy of the Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral by Henry Scott Holland (someone actually posted it yesterday in the comments) that begins "Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room" - I read it over and over to comfort me. It might be able to remind you when you need it most that Leroy will always be with you. Wishing you strength and thinking of you today.

Sent by liz | 12:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1-2-3-LIFT! Your in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 12:09 PM ET | 08-19-2008

"There is an old belief that on some distant shore,
far from despair and grief, old friends shall meet once more."

death is hardest on those left behind

Sent by Roger | 12:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Someone wrote in a card when my mother died "It will never hurt less, but it will hurt less often"...I didn't believe it at the time, but it's true...the day will come when it will hurt less often. Be good to yourself...hang in there.

Sent by Annie | 12:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

You've been steadfast at his side for all this time; trying to stay strong, holding him up. Now it's our turn to stand by you. So many people love you for what a wonderful, supportive person you are. We're all here.

Sent by Stephanei | 12:12 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Good Morning Laurie and the gang - I haven't read enough of the comments yet, but need to say that I'm not ready to stop coming to this 'place' each day. My cancer has not stopped and our caring and love for each other has not stopped...so I thank Leroy for getting us started, and you Laurie for your beautiful request today. My tears came at your request, to be needed still is such an honor.

When Leroy first posed the question of what would become of this blog, I was on the side that felt it was 'his blog'. Now that we are standing here with open arms, I'm happy to do anything to keep this stream alive.

What does our 'lifing' look like? What can we talk about to keep the light bright for each other? I'm ready for my assignment...

Have a beautiful day.

Sent by Joan S. | 12:12 PM ET | 08-19-2008

How can we ever thank you and Leroy enough for all you have given on this blog? You will always be in my thoughts and prayers for peace and gentleness in your life. And ....1 2 3 lifting.

Sent by Barbara Langan | 12:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie:

Thank you and Leroy for the lift you have given this whole community. Your lifting has caused a tidal wave of feeling and love which will lift you whenever you need it. You don't even need to ask!

Mike

Sent by Michael Last | 12:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Leroy brought us all here so we could lift you -- but really, he's the one who made sure you'd have big strong arms to carry you through the next weeks and months.

Sent by Lori (fellow cancer warrior) | 12:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Of course, Laurie. We will lift you for as long as you need. We are all thinking of you, and wish we could do more to help you.
Love to you,
Susan

Sent by Susan | 12:20 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, Remember the movie that came out a few years ago about the emperor penguins, narrated by Morgan Freeman?
In the coldest midst of winter they took turns, slowly spiraling into the middle of the circle to get warm.
It's your turn in the warm space and we surround you with love. You stay there as long as you need to.

Sent by NancyGM | 12:26 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I'm sure I'm saying nothing new here. But as Mike just said a few minutes ago...1 2 3 lift...we and I am here for you, for as long as you need. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

Kind regards,

Charles

Sent by Charles Willingham | 12:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
When my beloved father died unexpectedly and way too young, I found myself desperate with grief. Two things helped: reading. I read book after book on grieving and these all gave a crumb or two of comfort. The other thing that helped was being able to tell others how badly I was hurting. I was amazed again and again that there was compassion in my fellow humans that sustatined me when I didn't think I could go on.
I taped this quotation to my desk and left it there for a long time. I hope it helps you, too.

Carolyn Briggs

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond

Sent by carolyn briggs | 12:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Now is a different and very hard part of your journey in life. I have no doubt that you gave mightily of your strength to Leroy. Let others now give you their strength. We are all in this together. Take good care of yourself.

Sent by Linda Newson | 12:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I do not have cancer nor does anyone I know have cancer, but the courage and camaraderie this blog has contained for the past months is so impressive! I can only hope, Laurie, that the compassion and caring from everyone out here enfolds you and nourishes you as much as Leroy's efforts inspired all of us. I didn't even know him, but I already miss him and I can't even imagine what you must be going through at this time. Know that you aren't alone and that you are cared for, too.

Sent by P.J. Thompson | 12:28 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We are lifting you, have no doubt. Feel Leroy, feel us. We're in the air that you breath, we're in your heart, we're all around you where ever you look, what ever you feel. Trust and believe. Laure, trust and believe.

Sent by Sandra | 12:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1...2...3, as much as you need for as long as you need. Cancer is a bitch but after seeing both sides(my mom took care of my dad for a very difficult last year of bone cancer) I see how hard the toll was on her. Don't want to have cancer and don't want to watch someone who is your life go thru it. Life dishes out crud sometimes, that's when you lean on your friends. Many of us have walked or are walking in the same footprints. We are here and although we can never be you, we can offer as much support as you need. Just let us know. :)

Sent by Jenene K/AZ | 12:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

OK 1 and 2 and 3 uppp we go!! here a lift for you dear Laurie and a big warm hug as long as you need. These are very difficult times for you, please keep in mind that we are here for you, trying to help make this load a little lighter. May God keep you and give you strength to continue.
Peace be with you.
Marelly

Sent by Marelly | 12:30 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We're here for you Laurie, just as you and Leroy have been for us.
Hang in there and take your time.

Sent by debbie r | 12:31 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

My heart aches for you right now. Please know that we are here with you. Say the word and I will travel to be with you. Even though we've never met in person, I feel like I know you and Leroy. My husband is a survivor, but we're waiting now to see if his cancer has returned. I am following your story knowing that I can be in your shoes at any time.

I want to help in any way I can. Just say the word. I submitted my e-mail as part of making this comment. I officially give my persmission to the blog administrator to pass it on to you. Please use it if you need to connect with someone. No pressure, but know you have me as a resource.

Love. Faith. Courage.

Sent by Tammy C. | 12:31 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We'll be here for you, Laurie. I am lifting you up and holding you in my heart, as well. May God bless you with peace and strength during this difficult time.
Sending special love from Minnesota,
Carol

Sent by carol | 12:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

One....Two....Three....Lift.

Seems to easy to return the favor when you and Leroy lifted me so often with the blog and the wonderful stories and insight.

Please know we are all here for you (as you have been for us) and we are a strong army supporting you through this difficult time. Don't hesitate to take advantage of the berevement services offer through Hospice. They have great service for those left behind.

Sending you a warm hug through the miles.

Alexis Redmond

Sent by Alexis Redmond | 12:37 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I remember reading the response to one of your blogs not too long ago. Your blog was so full of sadness and pain. One writer's post in response was unexpected but profound and bears repeating.

"Oh to have loved like that!"

Try to remember that these moments seem darkest because your life was enriched by the brilliant light which was Leroy.

Embrace the darkness until your love, which will never die, brings back the light.

We're here Laurie. ...and each of us is praying for you in our own way.

Sent by eaf | 12:38 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I am so sorry, and I am thinking of you. You and Leroy are such special people. It helped me to read the blog, even when it was so sad. It helped us readers to feel less alone in our struggles. Peace,
Rose

Sent by Rose | 12:38 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I have been a devoted fan of Leroy since he was Nightline's executive producer. I looked forward to his e-mails everyday. I loved Nightline. I respected his ability to produce a real news show with quality interviews.
I have my degree in Broadcast Journalism and worked in radio for over 20 years. I feel like Leroy lived a charmed life before cancer and even to some degree after cancer. He had a great job he loved and he had a great love for you. He was a lucky man.
Time is the only thing that can heal your wounds. As you go through the days ahead dazed and feeling like the world should stop because yours has, know that we are with you. As I cry for a man I never met but have known for so long;I will cry with you.
It will take time but the anger and the pain will subside leaving the beautiful memories that Leroy gave you.
Peace be with you.

Sent by Tone Marconi | 12:39 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1-
2-
3-
LIFT!

I came much to late to this forum, just yesterday unfortunately after hearing the story on NPR.

As a survivor, its hard to hear of those who do not, but what a powerful, and amazing thing you have done here. Clearly you have touched many, many, many people. We should all be thankful for that gift.

Sent by Aaron | 12:41 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
We are all here for you. We loved Leroy and we love you. We live in a society that gives us all very little time to grieve. It's a process, as you so well know. Take your time...Keep Breathing!

Sent by Beth | 12:42 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie...There is a book written by Dr. Joyce Brothers that I think might help you with your grief. It is called Widowed. I know it helped me through all the steps of grief I experienced. I had a greater understanding and I felt I had a comrad walking with me. It's just a thought. I wish you well and will pray for you and Leroy. You are both kind and generous people. Thank you Laurie and Leroy. Sincerly Karen Davis

Sent by Karen | 12:42 PM ET | 08-19-2008

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." -Henri Nouwen

Lifting now & always, dear friend.

Sent by Kate in CO | 12:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie:

I know that all of us are here to LIFT you up as long as you need, and as often as you need us.

Many warm hugs and thoughts your way.... please take care of yourself.. I hope you are resting and eating..although at times may be difficult.. please force yourself too.

Krupali

Sent by Krupali Tejura MD | 12:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I was sad to hear that Leroy passed. When I heard him interviewed on the radio by Ted Koppel, I was drawn to his sincerity and honesty, candidness and courage to be open. I started reading his blog. I feel he was a great man and an inspiration. Part of me is relieved that he is out of pain and free. I'm also proud of him that he completed a life well lived, one to be proud of. I know you will miss him. I'm sending you love and peace. Please know love never dies, and when you send him your love and thoughts he will receive them. Take good care of yourself; I can tell you were a beautiful loving wife.

Sent by Julie Osborne | 12:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Thank you Laurie for your fine example of caring.....1 2 3 Lifting....

Sent by Gail | 12:50 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie, as you read my message, please take the moment to experience the WARMTH of ALL of Leroy's admirers the world over enveloping you with love. THAT's my gift to comfort you. Leroy is an awesome inspiration to me.... as I live every day in that same world of "my cancer". Nineteen years ago, with 2 litle boys - 5 and 1 - I lost a breast to cancer. But I was given the gift of 17 years to see them grow into fine, beautiful young men. In April 2007, my cancer returned... with a vengence... metastisized to my bones. I listen to NPR radio every day and visit the website often...when I found Leroy's blog, I was totally hooked! Leroy spoke for me! I've printed out the entire blog - more than 2 reams of paper! And I carry my favorite postings with me so I can read a daily dose of laughter, comfort and strength whenever I need a boost..... Laurie... Please consider publishing Leroy's blog... His message could reach sooooooo many more people in this world who aren't as lucky as us to find his story out here in cyberspace. I would leave that book in my personal effects for those I love to find.... While I've tried to begin recording my own journey, I can't seem to get over my mind's "roadblock" of telling me that writing my story is the "beginning of the end"... but maybe just writing this hearfelt message to you will get me over that. Cherish every memory - it will keep you strong.

Sent by Debbie Thomas | 12:53 PM ET | 08-19-2008

From the thousands of us, one way to hold our arms together might be sharing with you - and with each other - some of the stories about how Leroy's posts touched our hearts and souls. Small things, silly things, bits of a post that made us smile or cry, or both. Incredibly, I remember being touched by finding out Leroy was as much a fan of large amounts of ice cold milk. I can't tell you how many times I'd sit in the kitchen late at night, alone with my thoughts, drinking my day's last glass of milk -- and I'd think, ah yes, Leroy might be having a similar big, cold glass right now ... For some reason, that was -- and continues to be -- a comforting thought.
Leroy is with us all, constantly. In big and small ways.

Sent by tom portante | 12:53 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, 1, 2, 3, LIFT as high, wide and gently as we can. I can't even begin to imagine the void...we're here to help shoulder and soften this implosion. Yesterday I couldn't help but think that because Leroy is no longer physically among us -- this doubles our 'duty' to live well and fully. But first you'll need time to grapple with such an enormous loss...1, 2, 3...LIFT. Gently, fiercely...

Sent by Marcia E. | 12:56 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie ~ The pain wont go away....but you will start burying it under days. We're here to help you do that.

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 12:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

"Human relationships are primary in all of living. When the gusty winds blow and shake our lives, if we know that people care about us, we may bend with the wind...but we won't break." Fred Rogers (The World According to Fred Rogers).

Sent by N. Holmes | 12:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
You honor us and also show great generosity and compassion when you ask us to continue "lifting you up." I suspect you know how hard it would be for us all to lose this connection right now. As Leroy said, we're all in this together. We are family. And like any loving family, we are here for you as long as you need us -- and beyond. Should the time come that you decide you need more privacy, we will step back -- but the love and support will still be there for you, whenever you want it or need it.

Sorry if this is schmaltzy, but I keep hearing inside my head the old Simon and Garfunkel song, "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. when times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

Sent by Doris | 12:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Lifting happening on my end. Be well, take care of yourself. Here as long as you need.

Sent by P. | 1:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

What Leroy created is still here, Laurie.

For you.

We will lift you as long as you need us to.

Sent by Lanie | 1:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,

Thinking back to when my husband died from the Hodgkins Lymphoma, at first I felt great relief that he was finally out of his pain and suffering. He was only 37 when he died, and I was 36, and I struggled to make him proud, to honor his life, and to make it through the next minute or hour or day with my sanity intact. Through the help of friends and a network of loved ones, I did make it. He is with me always, dear to my heart, and if I close my eyes I can still smell his scent and hear his voice smiling in my ears, and for that I am grateful. I slept in his shirt for a long time and held anything near that I could. I would look up into the nightsky and wonder if he was watching me. I would spend many hours at the cemetary speaking with him. I held his 40th birthday at the cemetary, just the two of us, a balloon bouquet and a pack of Hostess chocolate cupcakes, Philip's favorites. You were there for Leroy and helped to complete his life and make it the life he wanted and needed. Now you need to do the same for yourself. Take some time. Breathe. Rest. Have someone make you tea. Now you are the soul who needs nurturing. Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way.

Sent by annie | 1:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I am so sorry for your loss and will always miss this wonderful man named Leroy that I looked forward to hearing from every morning. I believe that love has powerful bouyancy and so I send love to you to lift you up at this difficult time and love to Leroy to help him on his journey to the next world. You both have truly exhibited the true nobility of the human spirit through these difficult times. You are such a role model to us all. Much love to you and Leroy, Karen Hine

Sent by Karen Hine | 1:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Please accept my condolences.
Thanks for taking time, in your grief, to think of all of Leroy's readers. As a breast cancer survivor, Leroy gave words to my feelings. I hope you'll keep in touch with us and consider keeping the blog going. janice

Sent by Janice Yasgur | 1:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I started reading Leroy's blog probably 2 weeks after he started it. I've read every single posting, although I've never written in myself. It's been an enormous source of solace -- a reminder that we're none of us in this alone. In the first year, Leroy said something that I copied down and have taped up next to my computer. These words don't apply just to cancer. They apply to all of life. "Courage may mean doing the right thing when you have a choice. When doing the right thing isn't the easy thing."

Sent by Mary Margaret | 1:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Over 30 years ago, I lost my father to cancer, and listening to Leroy's honest and beautiful chroniling of his battle was moving beyond words. My heart goes out to you and your family for all you have witnessed. While I know it is sad and painful, your husband's honesty, compassion and integrity are a priceless gift to the world. All of us who walk or have walked in your shoes are with you in our hearts. Thank you for helping him be such a beacon for us.

Sent by Mary Anne Mushatt | 1:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Your friends in this blog are here for you always and kudos to you for asking for support. I get the impression that you are a fiercely private person, so it must be monumental for you to reach out. Once we lose someone we love, the Earth continues to rotate on its' axis. Even though we want to stop and get off and take a breath once in a while, life for others goes on. I lost a very good friend of 35 years to a stroke several months ago, very suddenly, and I still pick up the phone to call her. She left about 35 plants behind and they have been adopted by me to help me realize that living still chugs along. She is always in my heart and I know that you and Leroy are so intertwined that it will be a long time before you can move beyond thinking of him in terms of your daily schedule, much less in terms of your life. He has touched millions of people. You both shared a very private struggle with others that have been secreted away in this same struggle in the past and for that we all thank you. You gave words to the hurt, confusion, pressure, gratitude, disruption, humbling, ugly, dehumanizing disease that so many people suffer in utter silence. Peace Laurie. Peace be with you as you miss Leroy, remember walks with him, talks with him, quiet times and laughter filled days with him. We will all miss the way he spoke that made us all listen closer; he sounded like what he was saying was so important, we didn't want to miss a word. And he was saying important things Laurie. He was concerned about you, he loved you and we will always support you and your parallel struggle against this disease. It's enigma baffles and infuriates us. It can touch anyone and really touches us all. But we are warmed by his stories, his honesty and forthrightness and humor. Please let us know what we can do to ease your burden. The weight may be there for a long time. But we can help you carry the load for as long as you need. Peace and love to you Laurie, Ellen from North Carolina

Sent by Ellen | 1:25 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I have followed Leroy's cancer blog for awhile now and just wanted to say that his courage, and yours, in the face of such a difficult illness, gave many people hope. I lost my husband to cancer when he we were both 36 years old. Life does move on, and it moves on with the experience of the love and support of that person and your relationship as a part of who you are, forever. It is time now for you to accept the love and support of those close to both of you. And Leroy, with his life and words, will continue to always be a part of the you that is you.

Sent by Raedene | 1:26 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
We will lift you as Leroy lifed us with with words, wisdom and love. I am praying for you everyday...I pray that you know you are loved by so many people...you are not alone. Thank you for sharing him with us. You will never know how much his blog helped me and countless others. My mom has a brain tumor and to me, your strength is incredible. Much love to you and your family. Love, Jenny

Sent by Jenny Ramirez | 1:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1 - 2 - 3, LIFT, from around the world.

Sent by mona schell | 1:34 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,
Sending strength and uplifting thoughts your way, lift, lift, lift...help keeping your head above water...I'm pushing virtually...

Sent by Jill | 1:34 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We've got you, Laurie. Breathe slowly. We shall be there as long as you need us.

My love,
Pat

Sent by Pat Doyle | 1:35 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Sent by Sarah | 1:36 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I still have every card sent to me when my first husband, Don, died over 15 years ago. Occasionally, I read them again. At the time, and in the early days and months, they brought me comfort - and tears. Now, they remind me how thankful I am for the time I had him in my life - and bring happy memories, although still somewhat bittersweet.
I think of the wealth of comfort and, ultimately, happy memories with which you will be blessed from all of us on this blog...just as we were blessed by Leroy and you and each other.
Back then, I learned that it is always important to write to someone, especially someone near and dear, when their loved one dies. I used to think that nothing I might write could possibly help; I now know that is untrue. It is not always the most poetic or beautifully worded remembrance that is most meaningful; sometimes it is a funny story, or a story you had not heard, or from someone who knew your loved one before you did and they share something that you didn't know about them.
Like so many on this blog, I feel like I knew Leroy. He was someone I would want to be friends with, to share dinner and wine, and laughs. Sometimes his words made me laugh and sometimes they made me cry. But, the most important thing he shared was himself -- his humanity, his courage, his fears, his wishes, his love of life, his dreams (both realized and those that would be unfulfilled). One thing that came back to me since Friday was when he shared that sometimes, in the middle of the night, he resented the fact that his friends were making big plans, or taking trips, or anything that meant they were planning for their future when he couldn't. And when you said that you just wanted to see the "old" Leroy - and hear his laugh, and watch him walking on the beach, enjoying a Mai-Tai - you wanted THAT Leroy back. I remember those feeling so well.
Though Don and I only had five years together and we knew when we married that he would not live long, we shared so much and so deeply in that five years. I have no regrets and would do everything over again. No one can take those memories away - and that's how I made it, one day after the other.
It does get easier over time and now there are more smiles than tears when I think about him. But, I had to be held up by a lot of people back then to help me through. And, we're here for you.
Leroy will not be forgotten, and neither will you, Laurie. You will make it through - and you will be rich with memories of him that no one can diminish. Take good care.

Sent by Jan Richardson, Olympia, WA | 1:39 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I will pray for you and want you to know how much courage I believe you have. The love you and Leroy shared is a gift that made both of you better human beings. Kimberly

Sent by Kimberly East | 1:39 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie,
I so understand what these first few days are like. I can't stop thinking about you and how sad you must be. It's hard to believe a clock can even keep ticking and that one day passes to the next. Nothing makes much sense when a best friend and loved one isn't around to hug and talk to anymore. I am pretty good at lifting, and I do hope I can carry you along in some, small way.

Sent by Catherine Bury | 1:40 PM ET | 08-19-2008

L A U R I E......
As long as you need it, we will lift you up.....you are the focus now, as are so many others that are left behind. Leroy is exploring his next challenge, while you are picking up the pieces of what is left. We are all here for you.

Leroy was a true warrior-he gave such a tremendous fight, and in fact, never gave up the challenge-his spirit keeps on, it's just his body, our mode of transportation for the soul if you will, that finally ran out of steam. I was, and still am inspired by him-and by you Laurie. Both of you have given so much out of your own need and it has done so much for others. I would have rather gotten to know the two of you in a way other than this blog, but we had no say in that. Instead, so many have received inspiration from Leroy's insights-and his impact continues. In another time, another place, we will meet him again-until then his spirit abounds and you have so many that will lift you as long as you like.
Our prayers are with you and yours.....

Sent by Susan L. | 1:41 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You have hardly been out of my thoughts and prayers since Friday. They will continue and hopefully lift you when you need them. Thank you so much for the information on the fund. Since I have never actually met either you or Leroy it will enable me to feel that I can help in some way. God bless you.

Sent by Ann | 1:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

oh Laurie - I do hope you know that you and Leroy have been lifted for some time now - do you have a nose bleed yet?

I am so very sorry for your loss. Take what time you need for your self. I especially like Steve Horn's post at 10:25 AM this morning - please read that and know that you are being held up and hugged and supported and loved by all of us in this blog community.

Danni in Traverse City, MI

Sent by Dannielle Higgins | 1:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I was away from the computer the last two weeks and only now saw the post that Leroy is gone. I was away helping my father and sister make the decision to put my mother in home hospice care, and I thought of you and Leroy constantly as we made decisions and my family settled in to their new routine. Thank you both so much for helping me be able to be strong to help my family do this and to be strong enough to say good-bye and fly home, knowing I won't be able to be with them in the end. My mother has end-stage Alzheimer's disease, and doesn't know who I am now. I think you are fortunate to have had Leroy's personality intact to the last. I wish I could comfort you. I will miss Leroy and I never even met him. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I will be lifting you every day.

Sent by Elizabeth | 1:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have read and have posted to this blog. I am glad that the messages on this space you are finding supportive and helpful.

I am so sorry for your loss of your wonderful husband.

Thinking of you and sendiing you thoughts of comfort

Karen

Sent by Karen | 1:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

When I lost my father, time stopped. I was shocked when time did not stop for everyone else. How could they go to work, go out to dinner, plan vacations? A part of me was changed forever. For a year I felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.
It's been 22 months and I still break down and sob. What helped me move on was my own cancer diagnosis. Crazy isn't it? I wanted to live and not in that dark place anymore.
Leroy's blog helped get me through my cancer treatments and I'll do my best to help you get to a sunnier place.

Sent by Beth | 1:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you are so much in my thoughts. How amazing it is that our hearts can be touched by someone without ever having met. You as well as Leroy have shown such remarkable grace and growth in wisdom. Your journey with Leroy, your example as much as his, have taught us all so much. And there is so little we can do in return--but all we can do, is yours.

Sent by Nita | 1:50 PM ET | 08-19-2008

thinking of you all day. xo

Sent by Sandhya Chandrasekhar | 1:51 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
All of us "lurkers" are still out here, "lifting" as needed. I hope you can find comfort in knowing how many lives you both touched. I may not be facing the same challenges now, but I know I will be some day - and I hope I can face those days with the same poise, courage and selflessness as you and Leroy have shown.
Thank you for sharing your lives with all of us.

Sent by sue | 1:51 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, Laurie, yes! We lift you with our tears, we lift you with our hearts, we lift you with our love for both you and Leroy.

Sent by Betsy | 1:52 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I am so very sorry.
I wish I could write something amazing but I can't be eloquent..I can't even squeeze out a sentence that makes sense. Loss makes it hard to think and hard to breathe. So I am just so very very sorry. You lived with Leroy and I just read his blog and I am in tears. I am so very sorry this awful thing happened and so very sorry for your very great loss. townie

Sent by townie | 1:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

May we all face our last days with as much courage, grace and good humor as Leroy. His writings helped me cope with my own mother's cancer battle and subsequent passing. I never met Leroy, but I will never forget him. Deepest condolences to Laurie and Leroy's entire family.

Sent by Jason | 1:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I began my treatment for prostate cancer in January, 2007. I found myself reading Leroy's blog frequently and posted several remarks to him. My treatment ended last November and, apparently, I have been free of C since.
I felt throughout that Leroy helped me more, personaly, than any other person and I will be eternally grateful to him for that. I am saddened by his loss.

Sent by John Carr | 2:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, If our cyber arms could physically reach you, it would be one gigantic Amish barn raising of lifting from all of us! I breathed a sigh of relief that you were up to writing today; it???s the end of the beginning of a new journey. I think it was fitting that Leroy should, ???change addresses,??? during the Olympics. He deserves a gold medal for the way he so poignantly shared the most difficult time of your lives. My dad always quoted Grantland Rice when he philosophized about his impending departure: ???When the One Great Scorer comes to write against your name, he marks not that you won or lost, but how you played the game.??? Leroy may have ???lost,??? his battle against the cancer-beast, but he won big time in the game of life. Long distance hugs and lifts to you during this difficult time.
Sincerely,
Mary

Sent by Mary | 2:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes! As long as you want us we are here. Lifting you is such a simple request. Ask for everything and all that you need for as long as you need.

1...2...3...love and hugs,

Sent by Lori | 2:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I will truly miss Leroy's inspiration and daily thoughts. I feel so lucky to have been able to find his blog. I just so happened to see his interview on television one night, and then later I unintentionally came across the My Cancer Blog, but I feel as if I was supposed to meet Leroy. Not in person, but through this venue. When he was on television, there was something about him that made a lasting impression. Once I started to read the blog, I thought oh, I don't think I want to see this through to the end, but I soon came to realize I had been given a gift. I think we all needed a different piece of his message or perhaps the same message to give us the strength to face our life as it unfolds.
I thank you for letting us all share in such a personal and important part of yours and Leroy's journey. May each day that passes become a little bit easier and brighter for you. Hang on.

Sent by Lizabeth J. | 2:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Breathe. Put one foot in front of the other. And, know that we're all here with hugs and prayers and more love than you can know! Lean on us!

Sent by Julie Emery | 2:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, we are deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your Leroy. We miss him very much.

Sent by Linh | 2:09 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie:
When my sister and I listened to and read Leroy's words, it made cancer less of a burden and more of a common battle. His ability to share experience and feeling must have been nurtured and encouraged by your relationship. Bless you and Leroy. You make lifting easy.

Sent by Dana Hornkohl | 2:09 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie : I'm 7 weeks into where you are now. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that compassion and friendship transcend time. I found this blog only about a month ago, and it's the first place I go when I come home from work. You and Leroy are, and will be, in my thoughts for a very long time. I know you need help and emotional support in the worst way, and know that even me, a perfect stranger, prays for you. I wish you a peace within yourself. Marsha

Sent by marsha bacenko | 2:12 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1, 2, 3 lift to you. Pass it on to someone else in need when the time is right.

Sent by Judy, Pasadena, CA | 2:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie dear,
We are all here for you, lifting, loving, for as long as you need us, for as much as you need us, and then some.
xoxoxoxoooooo

Sent by Jenifer | 2:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -- I heard about this blog just after my dad passed away 2 1/2 years ago last week. The two of you sharing your experiences have been lifting me ever since -- so you can count on me -- no matter how high the count needs to go! (I think maybe that's why God made numbers to infinity!)

Sent by Tammy Reasoner, Cincinnati, OH | 2:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

you might want to consider keeping a couple of leroy's shirts. t-shirts. sportcoat. leather jacket. something that wraps around you. maybe. i am so glad i hung onto a few of my dad's t-shirts. my sisters & i had used his t-shirts as jammies since the early 70's. i love wearing them; but it was especially helpful to my psyche to wear them right after he moved on. i was taking a chance in keeping them; am so glad i did.

Sent by mary | 2:18 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,
We humans are quite wonderful, aren't we? We are crying and feeling the loss of someone we never had the privilege of meeting. We liked your Leroy so much. Everything I've read about him supports my admiration and increases the feeling of despair for our having lost such a caring and involved man. We will support you as long as you need us, Laurie. You and Leroy are in our hearts forever.

Sent by Sharon | 2:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

One...Two...Three....LIFT!
We will keep doing that for as long as you need it. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Barb, Ft. Thomas, KY | 2:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We'll lift as long as you need.

I'm sure Leroy is watching you and now, with his strength restored, is lifting for all he's worth! How blessed you were to have had the time you did with him.

Take care.

Sent by Kathy Groh Canby | 2:25 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, I will lift you! "One, two, three, LIFT." It is so important to ask for what you need. Sending a long and sustained lift from Seattle.

Sent by Amy Ware | 2:25 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

This will be a new, difficult path.

Even though Leroy was sick he was able to lift you just by his very presence.

Now, your friends (including us) and your family will help to lift you. It will surely help but it won't be the same.

When my parents died I felt a physical as well as emotional pain. Gradually the physical pain eased but the emotional pain remained for some time.

It took me years to come to terms with the loss. There is still an empty place in my heart and it will always be there.

Grieve as much, as loudly, or quietly as you need. Don't let anyone tell you that it is time to move on. You will go through this process in "your" time.

We will be here as long as you need us.

I am sorry that your heart is broken. It is the ultimate price we pay when we love someone so dearly.

peace and love,

susan
california

Sent by susan | 2:30 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
We are all here for you, each and every day, just as Leroy has been there for all of us. Leroy has been and continues to be such an inspiration. You will both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and Leroy.
Susan

Sent by Susan | 2:30 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

One of the most difficult things for me to adjust to after Melody's death was the question "What is my purpose now?" For 18 months, I took care of her. After she passed, I literally was lost. When the main thing you did for the longest time is now complete and that journey is over, what do you do? There is this feeling of loneliness, emptiness and "now what?"

The house seems freakin' huge doesn't it? And everywhere you turn...Leroy's stuff is there. This will hit you even more after all the celebrations of Leroy's life have died down and the phone calls, emails, and letters have dwindled. When this happened to me, I discovered this blog and I threw myself back into my life but with a renewed and different outlook on life. The lesson I took from everything I went through with Melody is, life is too short, so live it to its fullest...every day and every night, devoid of ill feelings, anger, drama, and mean people. My daughter, family and closest friends are the most important to me and they know how I feel about them. I live every day like it is my last.

The immense sorrow and loneliness you are feeling right now may seem like there is no end in sight...but there is Laurie! Trust me...there is. Laurie Hirth, Bruce, Nikki, and all us "life givers" have all been here. We are all remembering, right now, our loved ones that we took care of, and all the emotions we felt when they passed. This, to us, is like opening the wound again, but it has a few layers of skin on it so it doesn't hurt as much...but we still remember and we still cry.

Take the time you have right now, really slow. Allow the emotions to run their course. Stopping them or holding them in, will only prolong the healing process. If you are walking down the street, or driving down the road, and you have an emotional moment, pull over, stop walking or whatever, and allow yourself that moment. Who cares what others think around you? This is about you and not them! Here is something that is hard to explain but...go ahead and talk to Leroy. I know you feel him communicating with you! It may be him, it may be you thinking it is him. We do not know for sure...but Laurie, whatever it is and whoever it is, take that moment. In these moments, if you are quiet, you will hear that big, deep, soothing voice that Leroy had, talking to your soul and saying things to calm you down. He is with you...YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Also, carry with you a good supply of tissues. These moments will hit you without warning. I still have my moments and it has been almost 2 years.

Know that all of us are here just on the other side of your computer. We will be here as long as you need us!

You are in strongly my thoughts.

Michael

Sent by Michael (Lifegiver Survivor) Chicago | 2:33 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Can you float in a pool somewhere? Think of us as the water holding you up & gently rocking you. We all send love and wrap you in hugs.
Float on sweet girl.

Sent by bethann | 2:34 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

We are here for you. I can't help but think that your request today is, in large part, a continuation of your love for us. You realize that all of us, those who wrote you and Leroy often and those who lurked, need you. All of us want so badly to help you. Thank you for keeping us in your life.

Please be gentle with yourself. Get some sleep. I'm sure you have not had much real sleep for many, many months. From the thoughts and advice you'll receive, mine included, take what you need and leave the rest. You will find your way through your grief. The grief I felt after my 49-year old husband died from cancer was not pretty. I still feel the loss daily almost eight years later. There is no way around it. There is no "proper" timetable, no shortcut, no right way, no wrong way. Do not let others, however well-intentioned, pressure or judge you as you go through this process (and it is a process.) The grief changes, but it is always there.

I do know, though, that I could not have made it this far without trusted family members and friends. As time goes by, you will know who those people are in your life. For me, five other women I met in a hospice grief support group continue to play huge roles in my life. If you can find such a group, especially one that focuses primarily on spousal/partner loss, I encourage you to do so when you feel able. All loss brings immeasurable grief. I have lost my mother and one of my best friends, but the loss of my husband and the life that we shared was a much different grief. It helped me to share the grief with others who had lost their spouses/partners during the same period.

I was at a James Taylor concert a couple of weeks ago. His last encore was the song, "You Can Close Your Eyes." I thought of you and Leroy while I listened.

"Well the sun is surely sinkin' down
But the moon is slowly risin'
So this old world must still be spinnin' 'round
And I still love you

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes it's all right
I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song when I'm gone"

As Mr. Koppel said so simply yet so eloquently on Nightline last evening, "We all knew that Leroy Sievers would die eventually and that cancer would be the cause. We just didn't believe it."

Laurie, may the sun shine on you today and a light breeze caress your cheek. You are loved.

MJR

P.S. For those who didn't see the tribute last night, you should be able to download the video through this link:

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/story?id=5197492&page=1

Sent by MJR | 2:39 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I was so proud to know that a oncology PT was given the honor of working with Leroy. I'm also very proud to offer the virtual version to you...

1, 2, 3, LIFT!

From a professional lifter,

Sent by cancer PT | 2:39 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We're still out here, Laurie. You've got the hard job, now! Hugs!

Sent by maryz | 2:40 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I have never posted before, but I have lurked and listened, and I cried when I heard about Leroy's passing on NPR yesterday morning. I want to lift you up as Leroy has lifted me up, so I'll share how helpful his words have been for me. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2003 and died in 2007 after a long and difficult battle. Leroy's commentaries were a life line for me, and I made sure all activity in my house stopped when I heard his familiar voice on the radio so I could hear his updates. In his story I could hear echoes of what my family was going/had gone through. And since my father was not always one to communicate his feelings about his cancer diagnosis, Leroy helped me to understand where my father was coming from. How amazing, what a miracle, as I look through the hundreds and hundreds of comments, that Leroy was able to touch so many people in this way. Laurie, even though most of us have never met you we are here for you, and we will keep lifting you as long as you need.

Sent by Jillian | 2:42 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I've been reading Leroy's blog since seeing him on TV last year. He just seemed so likable and articulate that I wanted to hear more from him. Unfortunately sometimes his experiences were matching my husband's who has been battling brain cancer for 10 years. We've actually looked for Leroy at Johns Hopkins when we knew he was due for another MRI or appointment when it happened that we would also be there. My husband, Russell, signed up with Hospice a few months ago and they have been very helpful, but it's a profound and sad experience when the hospital bed arrives and you sign the paperwork. Although I have many brothers and sisters it's been very hard to get them to understand what I'm going through-especially since my husband has essentially lost the ability to speak for several months now. I have never felt so alone. Your beautiful posting recently about all the tears that are now flowing really rang true for me. I think we as caregivers are in "fight" or "function" mode for so long that we don't allow ourselves the luxury of crying-especially if the patient isn't feeling sorry for himself. You also put into such simple words earlier as well, "I want him back." It helped me feel not so isolated in this crowded Northern Virginia area that is so busy going about its business. Almost every day I wonder how people get through this and then I remind myself that we do it like Leroy and Laurie-one day at a time. I've never written to you before but I felt compelled to let you know that Leroy and you have made a difference in my life. You both put into words what I couldn't. You made me feel less alone in this horrible, heart wrenching process of watching my 42 year old husband die-and for that I am grateful. I don't think my husband has much longer to live but I will take solace in knowing that others have gone through it and have survived. As I'm looking at Russell right now sleeping in bed with our dog Penny the Wonder Dog, I'm thinking of Leroy and Spanky-just a boy and his dog.
Please know that many, many people are praying for you to find strength and peace right now.

Sent by Josette | 2:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - We hold you close in our hearts today and always!

Sent by Stacy Fox | 2:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I too offer my arms for a "lift" but also for a hug. I know hugs work wonders for me, so here is a big one for you.

Sent by Natalie | 2:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I was so sad this weekend over the loss of Leroy's voice that I had to get my thoughts together before I wrote. He provided so much education that I certainly agree with all those who recommended that the blog become a book. I have recommended it to several patients over the last two years and would like to be able to continue to do this if it were available in print form. So many of the things that have been discussed are exactly what patients need to hear and know that those things are OK to think about and talk about. It would be a great legacy for Leroy and for yourself.

There certainly is little comfort in words but I will add a few more that I hope might be helpful.

To Those I Love

If I should ever leave you
whom I love
To go along the silent way
grieve not.
Nor speak of me with tears
but laugh and talk
Of me as if I were
beside you there.
(I'd come--I'd come
could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief
be barriers?)
And when you hear a song
or hear a bird
I loved, please do not let
the thought of me
Be sad...For I am
loving you as
I always have...
You were so good to me.
There are so many things
I wanted still
To do--so many things
to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear...It was
Just leaving you
That was so hard to face.
We cannot see beyond
But this I know:
I loved you so--'twas heaven here with you!
Isla Paschal Richardson

Be Lifted. Hang on one more hour and one more day.

Sent by Sarah Carrier | 2:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Now is the time to ask and receive and it's a good sign you are doing both. Whether you need meals, time alone, extra kleenex, or the company of your real or "virtual" friends, it's only a request away...

Sent by charlotte | 2:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I have been where you are, lost my mate after a 5 year struggle with renal cell cancer, and I can only say that time does help and the love and help of our friends. It is a long hard road and you will always remember but it does get better, altho you probably won't believe it now but it will. With love, Kathy from San Diego

Sent by Kathy Peacock | 2:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

Yes, I am lifting you up in prayer, believing God for peace, comfort, rest and dear ones to surround you.

Sent by Nicole | 2:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, You and Leroy lifted me up everyday for so long, I am here to help you in anyway I can. I feel your pain and cry with you. Leroy was too young to leave us, only 53-very very sad. I pray that you are feeling the love from all of us out here who are thinking of you. I know I will be without my husband someday in the future, for he too will have a shortened life, and it is just so unfair.

Sent by Nancy | 2:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie
I wish I had gotten to my computer earlier. I am sending all my heart to lift you up. I know your heart must be on the ground right about now. I have been in tears off and on since Leroy died and I only knew him from this blog. I cannot imagine how much you are hurting right now. If I were there I would give you a big warm hug and a shoulder if you wanted it.

Sent by Alycia Keating | 3:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I will continue to lift you up and keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Pam Seijo | 3:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I just read the news this morning. I just couldn't stop crying. I had so wanted him to live. I think that is a common thread that runs through all of us who watched our loved ones pass away. We just can't stand it when someone one else dies from the beast. I think it is a more intensive passion with us who have lived in Cancer World than it is for the general population.

I can't fully express how sorry I am that Leroy is gone, but I can share with you what helped me the most after my husband died. When people would share stories with me that validated what I already knew...that he was a wonderful man, I could move away from the sorrow for that little bit of time. Let your friends and family support you with wonderful stories about Leroy. I promise that it will help.

When all of the ceremonies are over, please know that we will be here for you. We have walked your walk. We have felt your pain. We have screamed when the unbearable was unbearable. We know.

Much love.

Sent by Sandra Mann | 3:03 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -- I wept when I read Leroy's obituary in the New York Times today. You have my family's love and prayers, which I hope will do a little part of the lifting. Your courage has sustained me through difficult medical times with my children, and I want to give back to you. With love, Melanie Greenberg

Sent by Melanie Greenberg | 3:04 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
You have been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be. I know how powerful it feels to have friends pray for you. And I am doing my little part to help you keep the strength and find the comfort to get through the long days ahead. Please let us know how you are doing. You know we care about you.

Sent by Debbie Carlson | 3:05 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: I am the gal who was dressed up in the clown outfit (for my metastatic support group meeting)and was lucky enough to have my picture published on Leroy's site. I always try to bring a smile to everyone, no matter what they are going through. We have been out of town for 5 days and I was anxious to get home to read Leroy's blog. I was surprised to read he had passed away. I know he was struggling lately and he was so concerned about you. I will miss reading his daily journal and I know I will think of him and you often. Stay strong. I am smiling at you even though tears are streaming down my face. Love and sympathy, JO

Sent by Jo Paola | 3:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

laurie,
friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~
may god bless & hold you in his care during this difficult time & always. wishing you love & peace.

Sent by sara - st. louis | 3:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - what strength it took just to write today's post. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that you and Leroy have touched so many lives through this blog.

You gave us the courage to face another day, the comfort of knowing that someone else was out there on our side, the appreciation for what others are going through, and many times, just a little smile to start the day.

Sent by Gretchen B | 3:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie - Leroy lives on in the hearts and minds of many, many people and so in a sense is with us all. You are facing a tough time; adjusting to life without Leroy. But even though I haven't met you I can tell through Leroy's testimony and your own words that you are a lady of grace, courage, and strength.
Peace be with you,
Marcia

Sent by Marcia | 3:09 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Oh Laurie, of course. We are all here as long as you need us. With prayers and love...

Sent by Sarah | 3:12 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, dear friend, hang on.
This is a storm we move through, all together. I am here holding your hand.

A short story. I was two thirds of the way through my chemotherapy and knew there was radiation ahead. I felt like I was hanging on by a thread, physically and emotionally. My Dad would come a few times a week to sit with me (he lives 2 hours away). One day he brought a CD soundtrack to the film version of "Dream Girls", and played me track #7. He reminded me I was not alone, just like you and Leroy did.
Today I dedicate the sentiment to you:

"You are staying and taking your share,
...we are a family,
We need you, we are a family."

1 - 2 - 3
Breathe, just breathe friend.
Debra Altschiller

Sent by Debra in New Hampshire | 3:13 PM ET | 08-19-2008

There are many of us who have lost loved ones to cancer and felt a strong connection through this blog. You will stay on our hearts and in our prayers.

Sent by Sharlene | 3:13 PM ET | 08-19-2008

You do not even have to ask. You and Leroy lifted us for so many months that it is our honor to be able to do so for you. We are all here for you, now and as long as it takes.

Jim R.

Sent by Jim R. | 3:22 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I'm so sorry for your loss and what has happened to you. I know you did a good job and did everything you could. It's very hard to be a support person - nothing is in your control. I'm glad Leroy is in a better place but I'm very sad for us left behind. You'll need time to grieve. Please call on us for support. We're here for you.
Sally

Sent by Sally Clayshulte | 3:26 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I've got you up there now. On my shoulders. I am on my dads shoulders, and he is on his mom and dads. Sort or a really big pyramid. If you should slip don't worry, lots of people down here to catch you.

Sent by Scott Gregg | 3:31 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - I've been starting my days with Leroy's blog since October 2006, although this is the first time I've written. It was during the "Town Hall" part of "Living with Cancer" that we got to meet you. My immediate impression was what a strong, elegant, articulate woman you are, and that Leroy was fortunate to have you to share this journey with him. I have no words of wisdom for you, and certainly can't claim to know how you feel. But, I would be honored to add my prayers and meditations - with all the others on this blog - to lift your spirit. It has been my great blessing to "know" both you and Leroy. You have enriched my life. Thank you. Ann

Sent by Ann Bevilockway | 3:33 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I am so glad to know you are feeling the love and support we are all sending you. We are not going anywhere. It makes me feel a little better to read the messages and feel the sense of shared sadness and connection. I hope it offers you some idea of what you and Leroy mean to all of us.
Sheri

Sent by Sheri | 3:37 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - It is almost Wednesday am here in Russia so you have a global family, supporting and praying for you. You and Leroy created and nurtured this family - what a legacy. Leroy is still here with us, binding us together.

Sent by claire | 3:38 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I am sending you big hug from Alaska.
Patricia

Sent by Patricia | 3:38 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Aloha, Laurie--

Know that you're surrounded in love through these hundreds of messages here and those thousands more unspoken.

"A`ohe loa`a i ka hana a ke aloha."
(love knows no distance, or boundary)

And we're all lifting you in our hearts and our thoughts.

"Ke aloha o ke Akua e k??puni mai i?? `Oe."
(the love of the divine/the universe enfolds you)

With warmest aloha from a former colleague of decades past.

Steve Okino
Honolulu, Hawaii

Sent by Steve Okino | 3:40 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I thought I might read through today's comments before writing, so as not to be redundant. But with 414 caring comments already posted, I know that will not be possible. So I send you my support, my thoughts, my sympathy and compassion, redundant or not. This has to be the most difficult time of all, and everyone is still here to hold you up. If only we could somehow make it less painful for you. One breath at a time.

Sent by Karen | 3:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

"Where your treasure is, there is your heart also." (New Testament)

Laurie,

May this community, this treasure that Leroy left behind, be a place to let go the tug of grief.

Simply, 1...2...3!

Maureen in Arlington, Va.

Sent by Maureen Doallas | 3:45 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Peace be with you!

Sent by William Atsumi | 3:45 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

My deepest condolences... I just read the blogs from the past few days- I've been too ill with my own advanced colon cancer to have checked my email lately. I am so sorry for your loss- although I never met Leroy personally, I felt I knew him well, as did so many, while we followed his harrowing journey through cancer.

Our lives have been incredibly enriched by the man you clearly loved so deeply. Leroy gave a voice to so many (myself included). I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling now. May God bless you as you now travel the road of grief. Please know that we're all behind you. Leroy was truly one-of-a-kind!

Sent by Tricia from California | 3:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, You bet! You do know, of course, how much your partner helped us all. You had a part in this by supporting his efforts. You have been so brave through all of this, just sharing your lives with so many. I know you were a force, and you kept him going. Your strenght through this has helped so very much. I wish, as you do, Leroy was still here, but we are left with the pain. Very difficult to deal with all this, and so fast. I am so glad he did not suffer any more, he had been through enough. Take solice in the fact he is somewhere, well again, and laughing his large laugh! Love to you Laurie. Prayers, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 3:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I'm lifting dear Laurie - for as long as you need. Thank you for letting us help. Bless you. (((Hugs)))

Sent by stephanie in oregon | 3:47 PM ET | 08-19-2008

The day our 12 yr. old son was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, a nurse held my hand and asked what she could do for me. I said "I just want it to be yesterday again." Of course, our son had the disease then too, but we were blithely ignorant.

I wish it was a couple of years ago and we could have those years with Leroy again. He still would have the disease but we could still have the hope that a miracle could save him.

Laurie, I hope the response from the hundreds of people who have come to care for you and know the difficult time you have had will help you through this most devasting time. I couldn't believe the world still went on about its business while we battled our son's illness (successfully). The world may not appear to stand still with Leroy's passing but you have seen how, for so many of us, it did stop in a significant way.

You will be in so many hearts and prayers from this day forward. I agree with others - let's try to keep what Leroy started going on for as long as possible. It is a place of comfort, compassion and inspiration for me and others.

Sent by Sara in MD | 3:55 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I will continue lifting you up in my prayers.
Lydia

Sent by Lydia Stone | 3:57 PM ET | 08-19-2008

This aspect of terminal cancer is what I call the sucker punch of the disease. No matter what we are told/feel in our gut/dread most, etc. during the weeks, months of the disease, we are never ready for the time when they actually up and leave us. Our heart and soul have been pummeled mercilessly. It's awful, yes, but hold on, Laurie. It's a rough ride, but it IS one you can navigate. God bless...

Sent by Karen Laven | 3:57 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I was so sorry to hear of Leroy's passing yesterday on Morning Edition. I have so enjoyed listening to his commentaries these past two years. I work at MD Anderson Cancer Center and it is unfortunately too easy to forget what our patients are going through as we rush through our busy days here at the hospital. Hearing Leroy talk about how cancer effected him helped remind me to take the time to be kind, empathetic, understanding, and to smile.

My thoughts are with you during this time.

Sent by Emily | 3:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

quiet,stillness,and roar of your grief. we have had the priviledge to have read and still read this giant sharing. you ask for continued lifting....yes,always yes.we hold you and your beloved leroy close in our hearts. deep respect,hope

Sent by hope raymond | 3:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I remember 1-2-3-lift. You'll be lifted by me and many others for as long as you need us. What an incredible support you were for Leroy. We should all be so lucky. You just will never know how much you and Leroy taught us about love, compassion and dignity in the face of adversity. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and we'll be here holding your backside. My deepest condolences. I miss Leroy a lot.

Sent by Leanne Barnett | 4:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I most definitely agree with what Michael posted at 2:33. My line was "OK, what do I do with all this time?" And the house IS awfully big.

And yes, I still have bad moments, but the good ones outnumber the bad.

It took a good year to really start feeling like I was moving on. There were many days of "I don't want to die, but I wouldn't especially care if I did."

Keep talking and don't let yourself get isolated. I've filled the last 18 months by getting reconnected to some good friends that I had been ignoring while we fought our battles.

Sent by Bruce | 4:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie-We've been friends for probably 50 years (oh my gosh, can it be thatlong?)and although we live 3,000 miles away from each other, I think of you, and LeRoy often, and with love. You both have been such an inspiration to so many people, most that have never even met you. I feel honored to call you friend and I hope when you make your next trip to San Diego that we can get together so I can give you a hug and try to give you that "lift". Hang in there my dear friend. I love you dearly!!

Sent by Beverly Lachman | 4:09 PM ET | 08-19-2008

By the time you get to three, there will be thousands of arms there lifting you and holding on.

Sent by Barbara | 4:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

It was shocking to read first thing yesterday morning. I am so sorry for your loss, Laurie. You are in my prayers. I feel sorry for the world, in general, to lose such a great man. Thank you, Leroy, for the light you shined on all of us. The world is better for having had you in it.

Sent by Bethany | 4:12 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Martha and I were so very sorry to hear the news. What a terrible loss; we are both so sorry and here for you anytime and for anything. We both were so fond of Leroy, and just thought he was one of the kindest, biggest-hearted, gentlest, most friendly, unassuming, down to earth, brilliant, talented people either of us has ever known. I wish we could help more, but I know there is very little any of us can do other than tell you how much we are thinking of you. Very fondly, Greg Feis

Sent by Greg Feis | 4:12 PM ET | 08-19-2008

You are in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

Sent by Lori West | 4:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

TO J.C.R
How did your husbands surgery go? I hope he is doing well. None of this is easy, is it.

Sent by irene | 4:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I think Leroy asked if we lift on three or after two..................

A one and a two and a three!!!!!!!!!!11

Sent by Lisa | 4:16 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I dont think there are many things harder than what you are going through now. We loved him... and we love you in our own strange virtual way. We are here for you. I hope we can help.

Sent by Nichole in FL | 4:18 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Although Leroy was the outward face of the blog, we know that you were always there. I'm sure as you see from the other comments, that any/all are willing to help/lift as needed, for as long as needed.

Find peace in the circle of life, we are here to help.

Dave in Colorado

Sent by Dave | 4:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, what a blessing leroy had in having you by his side through these difficult times, no one should be alone going through cancer treatment and you were his love and support, thank you for being there for leroy, should you need us, just send out the call...georgie

Sent by georgie | 4:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

The only thing that makes a lifelong grief bearable is knowing that the same memories that bring you to tears today will give you smiles and,hopefully, a laugh down the road. What a guy, that Leroy! We'll give you a lift as long as you want it!

Sent by Erin Vaughn | 4:25 PM ET | 08-19-2008

For Laurie, Leroy's family and friends, aand all who gather here,

This poem speaks so eloquently of Leroy~

"Though we need to weep your loss,
You dwell in that safe place in our hearts,
Where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn
Brightening over our lives
Awakening beneath the dark
A further adventure of colour.

The sound of your voice
Found for us
A new music
That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze
Quickened in the joy of its being;
You placed smiles like flowers
On the altar of the heart.
Your mind always sparkled
With wonder at things.

Though your days here were brief,
Your spirit was live, awake, complete.

We look towards each other no longer
From the old distance of our names;
Now you dwell inside the rhythm of breath,
As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes,
We know our soul's gaze is upon your face,
Smiling back at us from within everything
To which we bring our best refinement.

Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.

When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us:

To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again."

-- by the late John O'Donohue

Sent by Kim Forester | 4:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Can you feel the love? It's coming at ya from every direction. Today, tomorrow and as many tomorrows as you need we are here for you.

Sent by Penny Coeur d'Alene, Idaho | 4:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

Below are some beautiful words taken from a poem by Neruda. You are in my thoughts every day.
Christine

forgive me.
If you are not living,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you
have died,
all the leaves will fall on my breast,
it will rain upon my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with cold and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to march toward where you sleep,
but
I shall go on living

Sent by Christine | 4:30 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I am lifting you up in my heart, in my prayers, in my thoughts. I remember when I lost my best friend in the world (not the same as a husband I know) but once in a while I could still feel her presence with me. For the first year I think I dreamed about her every night and it was so great because it was like we were still together. I hope you still feel Leroy's presence and I pray you will have fun dreams with him when you sleep at night. He'll always be with you in your heart you know. He'll never leave your heart. I can feel the masses of people that tap into this blog lifting you up. You are loved by all and we aer all grieving with you. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. I know you will have insights in the next weeks and months and I hope you'll think of this blog as a place to share them - we all want to know. Love and peace, Kim

Sent by Kim | 4:33 PM ET | 08-19-2008

It's my belief that as time passes and we slowly feel a little better, it's actually the effect of our lost loved ones, eternally lifting us up out of the pain, that we feel.

Sent by kathy | 4:36 PM ET | 08-19-2008

i have
colon cancer stage 3 with 6 lymph nodes involved and been in treatment since 2005. i cannot thank you and leroy enough for this blog. it has....and continues to be a source of inspiration and knowledge not only to me, but to many , many others. the thoughts, emotions and feelings expressed by leroy on this blog have started our day for the past few years. thank you again for allowing us to share.

Sent by frank hall | 4:41 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie-

I have not been around the site long. I'm a Jeep enthusiast who happened to find the blog when Leroy posted about the last secret wave. I used to find the wave sometimes a bit of a nuisance if I was in my own world, but I will now wave for Leroy without complaint.

Laurie, I wish there was one single thing I could think of to say that would be profound enough or warm enough or insightful enough to give you the boost you need. Every thought that crosses my mind seems to get discarded right now as being too trite. I did lose a sister to cancer, but not a life mate. Your hurt is not something I understand... but I hurt with you.

Sent by Terry | 4:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Dear Laurie,

I cannot imagine the pain you are going thru.....I had to closed my office door and cried my heart out when I read the blog on Monday. Dear Laurie, just remember you are not alone. All of us are thinking of you everyday.

XOXO

Sent by grace | 4:53 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Sasha,
You are not alone either, we are here for you too!
1-2-3 lift!
I love you too!
My heart goes out to you my dear lifegiver! Stay strong

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 4:55 PM ET | 08-19-2008

dear Laurie'
you are being lifted by more thoughts and prayers than you can imagine. I grieve for you in your loss, but am comforted by the thought of the wonderful memories you have of this special man.Grieve on your own timetable, but at the same time remember to "live life" as much as you can to get you through the impossible pain. Many, many hearts are joined to yours today as we lift, and lift again. June F

Sent by June Follini | 4:56 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Leroy's Army is here to hold as long as you need.

Sent by Brit | 4:56 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Always and forever, Laurie! My arms and my heart and my soul are here to lift you and, as importantly, to remember Leroy and all he did! A strange thing to say, but you must be so proud of him!

Thanks for sharing him and of yourself. God will keep you in his hands and Leroy will watch over you.

With much love and many, many hugs!

Sent by Imani | 4:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I don't know if you experienced this with Leroy in his last days; I experienced it with my mom and it has made all the difference. I must preface this with that I am an agnostic at "best," probably more atheist, though.

A few days before Mom died, she came out of whatever transitional place she was "stuck" at and talked to us about what she was experiencing. It was, in a word, "holy," and I will never again be afraid of what she experienced or what death brings. Unfortunately, that doesn't address what WE, those who love Mom, experienced and how much it hurt US when she left us.

I wish I could make things better for you. I hope you can feel the warmth of the hug of the thousands of us, all around the world, cradling you in our arms and holding on to you now, when your legs are buckling under you.

Much love,

Carol
Seattle

Sent by Carol | 4:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
It would be an honor to join everyone else in lifiting you. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Sent by judith | 5:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Smile through those tears...
In God's Love,
Shannon

Sent by Shannon in Joshua Tree | 5:02 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Please know that you are not alone and also that Leroy was truly loved by those that read his postings and heard his voice. He strength and love for life were incredible. Though I never had the honor of meeting Leroy, I feel I've lost a great friend.
Love, Robyn and the Critters

Sent by Robyn | 5:03 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
You and Leroy have lifted all the readers of this blog for so many days....thank you again for helping him through the journey and being so gracious and helping us. Many bad days and average days I got the blog email and it made me laugh and/or cry.

Please keep in contact, many here will try and respond to what you need to, as they did to Leroy. He wrote so eloquently and with so much humor and kind hearted spirit.

Let your family and friends support you now-you and Leroy supported us for so long.

God bless you and give you peace.

Sent by pam in WI | 5:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I wish words my could express my heartfelt sorrow at your loss. You both have helped me so much-- you know you are loved by all in the beautiful and unique community both you and Leroy fashioned. May our love and gratitude help you now.

Sent by Roxane | 5:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I really hope if Laurie wants to or is able to, this blog would continue it's life with her perspective. I'm the caregiver of a cancer patient and while I certainly gained from Leroy's perspective, Laurie's was most fascinating for me. Your strength and courage has been amazing. Whatever happens, so be it.
Most of all, Laurie, know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers for a long time to come, especially once the shock wears off (for me the hardest time- when everyone leaves and you are trying to live again). We absoulutely want to support you and bless you for asking.

Sent by Lisa | 5:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You can count with a lift, for as long as you need it, and then some.

Carmen

Sent by carmen Ruggero | 5:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear laurie,

I can't imagine what you are feeling. Someday soon I will be in your same position as my husband is terminal.

I want to be there for you. God is with you keeping you strong and standing there holding you up.

Please keep writing I feel like I have know you and Leroy for two years. I was very sad to hear he had passed. He will be so missed..

I think it will be wonderful if you continue writing on his blog and we be helping each other through this grieving process.

Gayle Cirillo

Sent by Gayle | 5:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -
My husband and I made our first trip to Hawaii this spring where we were instantly embraced by the peace and beauty that Leroy often referred to in his blogs. One of my favorite songs is "Beach in Hawaii" by Ziggy Marley. I will think of you both, and all you have shared, each time I hear it. Wish we were all on the beach in Hawaii.

Sent by Patte | 5:20 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

You have given so much to so many. Please know you are in my prayers. Although I didn't personally know Leroy, he shared so much of himself and opened himself up to all of us. He was a remarkable person and you both gave a great gift to us all.

Sent by Margaret | 5:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

(((((((((((((( Laurie))))))))))))

You won't be forgotten...You and Leroy will always be on our hearts...
But for now...I send you strength, peace, and prayers, to "lift" you up during this difficult time...
Hang on...we're here for you...

Jane

Sent by Jane M | 5:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

You are, right now, in a sacred time. Keep your eyes, ears and all your senses open, because your Leroy is nearby and I just KNOW that something will happen to let you know without a doubt that he's still with you. I know that may sound crazy, but it's happened to me more than once - and I was someone who didn't believe in stuff like that.

It's funny, I was at the grocery store the other day and I stopped to talk to this very nice man, a minister who collects money for the homeless. He and I always have a little chat. Anyway, just bought my first home and I was telling him what my mother might have had to say about that. She died almost 30 years ago, and while I was talking I got a big lump in my throat. My minister friend looked at me and with the utmost serene confidence said, "Why, don't you know, she's just a breath away?"

1-2-3 -- STILL LIFTING!

Love,

Sent by Janice J. , Los Angeles | 5:35 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie - My thoughts and and prayers are with you. May the memory of Leroy help keep you lifted up. He lived a beautiful life with you by his side supporting his every step.

I have read Leroy's blog since my own diagnosis with cancer 17 months ago. I have laughed and cried with you both every step of the way. As I'm sure was the reaction across the board, tears flowed down my cheeks when I read of his passing.

I will miss his humor, insight and sometimes even hard to hear truths of his daily battles with the monster.

May he rest in peace.

Sent by Paisley | 5:42 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

Here's offering you a loving embrace and a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and a smiling face. Know that we are all here for you.

Our memories are our most precious possessions.

Be gentle with yourself,
Lyn

Sent by Lyn / AZ | 5:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie- I cannot believe how close I have felt to both of you and how much I want to help in any way I can. From what I know, you and Leroy had such a close easy loving relationship. You must know that many many people live a lifetime without such love. Sadly, you pay a terrible price now that he is gone. There is no easy way to let go- what will happen is that you will learn to live with the grief and I am sure you will smile when you think of Leroy, because he will always be a presence in your life.Please know I am thinking about you and many tears have been shed since I was surprised by the sad news yesterday.I am glad you appreciate our support- I wish it were more.

Love

Sent by linda h. | 5:53 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You are such a compassionate wife and an example for all of us. You are lifted up by so many. Love and peace to you.

Sent by Jennifer Draper | 5:54 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Our prayers for you & Leroy.

Sent by Kimberly Young | 6:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

absolutely i will. i will continue to lift you up in prayer, laurie. have been for a long time now. God's compassion, peace and love to you.

Sent by anita - pittsburgh | 6:09 PM ET | 08-19-2008

When I read the news about Leroy on Monday I was deeply saddened, and my very next thought was of you, Laurie, that now you head down a road on a journey I wish no one had to experience...know we are all there walking with you

Sent by Nancy | 6:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

May family and friends surround you - may "real" and "imagined" arms lift you for as long as you need their/our support. Deeply saddened by Leroy's passing - Close to you, if in thought only.

Sent by Linn Woodard | 6:14 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I have been a "lurker" on this site for more than a year. I started reading after my Dad died of cancer when I was 27. I hoped the blog would help me heal the emptiness left behind. Leroy has helped me more than I can explain, and my only regret is that I didn't quit "lurking" in time to tell him that.

I cried tears on my keyboard at work (I'm a teacher)the day I read of Leroy's passing, and my students all asked why my eyes were so red. All I could tell them was that someone truly amazing who had helped me so much, had passed away.

Please know that I am sending you all of the positive energy I can muster. I have watched my mother heal slowly from losing her husband of 35 years, and I see her wound heal just a little more each day with all of the love and support she has received.

I can only hope that with all of our support you will feel comforted in these difficult days.
~Heather

Sent by Heather in AZ | 6:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us. You must be so tired. I think of you all the time even though I don't know you personally. Of course I will help lift you up. You can lean on me.

Sent by Donna "R"ubinetti in NJ | 6:22 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, you are in my thoughts. I wish you peace in this time of great sadness. I hope you can take time to be with your grief, and be soft and gentle until it eases.

Sent by keri | 6:22 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Sending you a lift, Laurie.
Take care.

Sent by Kristen | 6:22 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I am so sorry and I send all my good vibes and energy your way. We will happily support you for as long as you need Laurie.

My day starts out reading this blog. It helps me to take a moment to support all of us who are surviving cancer whether we are the victim or the caregiver. I have a neighbor just down the street who is dying and will most likely not make it through the week from his cancer. This disease may be strong, but our prayers are stronger.

My best wishes to you.

Sent by Beth Hime | 6:23 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -

I read your email earlier this am and just finally am finding a chance to sit and write. We are all more than happy to lift you up! We were already doing it before you asked - you were part of the cancer journey with Leroy - he never traveled alone. You were there by his side. Just as we lifted Leroy up, we lifted up you then and when we saw the email this weekend that our dear friend has passed - we were lifting you up without being asked... We will lift you up for as long as you need - Far from the cancer world you knew and to the world with Leroy BEFORE the Big "c" arrived. We lift you to the memories of happier times when cancer wasn't there. Just there lifting. Andi

Sent by Andi | 6:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Ask and you shall receive :)

Sent by Maureen M. | 6:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We were already there! May you feel our prayers and good thoughts like a comfortable pillow at your back. Leroy is beyond his pain, but we know you are not. You will be on my prayer list for a long time in the future. Leroy taught us all a lot, but you taught us a tremendous amount too.

Sent by Robin L. Fairfax VA | 6:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Thank you for allowing us to know what we can do to help. It makes me feel a little stronger knowing that you are looking forward to reading our comments.

I have read every single entry to Leroy's blog the last 2 years and I am so grateful for his honesty and clarity. I learned so much, and I think having read it, I will be better able to care for my friends and loved ones when they need it most.

I cried when I read the entry that stated he would stop treatment, and have been thinking of the two of you a lot more since that day. Thank you for allowing me into your life in such a personal way, I'll always appreciate it. I hope that you feel the love of those of us around the world who care about you and Leroy.

Blessings,
Lisa Barounis

Sent by Lisa Barounis | 6:30 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I'm hoping it wasn't as bad as you might have imagined it to be. Get some rest, dear. That was one of the hardest things you will ever do. Well done.

Sent by aes in Florida | 6:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, Tears filled my eyes when I read your post. As someone facing terminal illness I have no doubt that my pain is in many ways less than those I will leave behind and my heart breaks for them--and for you. I'm not very good at grieving--it tears me apart. But if my tears for you are in any way consoling, they are yours.

Sent by sajenkins | 6:33 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I am only 27years old but am in the end stages of pancreatic cancer. Leroy has been like a dad to me during this whole process. I love my dad dearly but he could never understand like Leroy could. We only exchanged words a few times but I read this blog several times a day...only posting a few times...and when I heard about Leroy it took me a couple of days to come back here. I miss him like he's family. Please know that although I may be young and only here a short time longer I will always be here to hold your hand and lift you up or buy you a cookie. Whatever it is you need. I will be here until I can't be. Please know how much both of you are loved and cherished in our hearts.

Sent by Laurie | 6:36 PM ET | 08-19-2008

This is my first time on this blog, but I heard your husbands words on the radio, and they struck home in a particular way, because I lost my father in 2004 to cancer. He was 58.

I am familiar with your pain, but I would never claim to know your pain. My mother would know, because she lost her husband too.

Your words this morning brought tears to my eyes...I wish you nothing but hope and happiness Laurie, and comfort in the fact that your husband was the voice of hope and life for thousands of people out there.

Sent by David Gueringer | 6:37 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Wow, Laurie. After reading the obituaries posted by Liz L. I was thinking, what wonderful memories you have with Leroy. Like you, my husband and I were married after many years together. I tell people we are celebrating either 12 years or 32. You are a true inspiration, Laurie, and deeply loved. My best to you.

Sent by Paulette | 6:42 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Take it one day at a time--just get through today. Each tomorrow will get a little easier to get through. As others have said, that doesn't seem possible now. But after 16 months, I find myself doing OK. I miss Leon as much today (or more) but I do feel him here with me. I, and you, can be so thankful that the monster never took our love's mind. Up until two days before he died, I had my husband with me, the husband I had for 37 years. He asked the doctors to keep him "knocked out" with medicine at the end so he didn't suffer or fight to breathe.

Sasha...please know that we are here for you, in any way we can help.

Kathy B., you seem to always say what I feel---you and Pat must have had a wonderful life together. I know that our marriage wasn't perfect by any means, but that seems to be all I remember now--the good times.

Bruce, Nikki, Tina, Deb, Ricci...thinking of you also and offering a "lift".

Wishing Peace for all of Leroy's Army,

Jane

Sent by Jane in AR | 6:42 PM ET | 08-19-2008

You honor us by lettting us know we can be a part of your circle for a while more. Thank you. Think of us as a gentle form of hovercraft to buoy you up so you can just cocoon in a safe and supportive environment. Leroy's influence has become bone-deep and permanent in its presence. I loved the photo of his 44th birthday surprise, adn the story of it that Ted Koppell shared. What a luminous human being he was in that photo -- it really seemed to capture that fierce radiance his words expressed. I hope you will still feel yourself connected to the man with whom you have partnered through so many stretches of risk, challenge and uncertainty. He has reached his harbor now, but that does not mean that all you shared is not still fully part of your life for as long as feels right. Do not make any sudden or large decisions for at least a year if you can manage that. Maybe longer than that if you are not feeling fully re-anchored enough to make them in full presence of self. Your heart has alot of work to do now, and your mind as well. Your body and spirit need rest and restoration. This is just like when you are fighting off an infection: you need to allow yourself to commandere all resources needed for rest, restoration, processing, and making peace with this major transformation in your life. Let other things take a back seat now. You are in sacred territory of lifework that literally involves your core being. Give yourself whatever you need: laughter, silly putty, a big dog, walks on the C&O, wearing Leroy's shirts, screaming with rage, taking a day or two off from all of this, or anything else that when you think of it makes you say and feel, "aaaaahhhhhhh. that is the right thing." You were there for Leroy, even crossing the line of privacy to so powerfully share with this blog circle. And now, you must retrain those habits of the heart so they are freed to be there for YOU right now, and in the year plus to come. Instinct and inner knowing will guide you well if you allow them to lead. You just have to listen and respect their wisdom. Go with your tidal nature of knowing when it is time to seek company of others, when it is time to hole up alone, and every other set of options and seasons that come and go in an hour or a day or a life. This is not indulging yourself. It is listening deeply to a self who has gone to the brink with her mate, and now needs gentle presence of care to assimilate the change, honor a lifetime together, remember what lasts, and recreate your new and emerging form of normal while treasuring your past. You will be given the way, and while it may be random and unclear, years from now when you look back at the terrible grace of this growth spurt thrust upon you by great loss, you will see that even now the foundation is being laid for a future that will again include joy, and laughter, and getting to feel light of heart. I love the Egyptian idea that our hearts are weighed at the end of life, and only when are hearts are as light as a feather, can we proceed along the afterlife. It gives me something to shoot for. In the midst of loss and grief and wrenching missing of the long-present other part of your togetherness, it is not blasphemous to believe even now, that your heart will again know that kind of lightness, without in any way losing the great love for Leroy, and the longing for his presence. You can have it all, with time, with care, with tears, with a sojourn in the wilderness of grief, and with a faith that even this storm will resolve into a clearing of dawn. You are such a strong woman, Laurie. You are so deep rooted. Even when you cannot believe the words, hold those images for yourself. The body believes what we tell it, so take care in how you describe your self now, and let your descriptions include doorways to hope for your cells, your mind, your spirit. You will find your way. That is who you are. You will come through this in your own way. And you will be prayed for every single day of the journey if lasts the rest of your life. We are lifting, and if you don't feel like writing again, we'll STILL be lifting you up, beaming you love, strength, peace, deep reserves and many boxes of Puff's softest tissues. With great respect for you, for your journey, for the road in front of you, and for who you will be when you finish this strenuous yet rich stretch of road. With support, and with celebration that you and Leroy had all the years, hours and days that you had together.

Sent by Sarah | 6:45 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, what you gave to Leroy was such an incredible gift - the chance to die at home, surrounded by loved ones (and Spanky) instead of in a cold, sterile hospital room with machines, beeps and muffled squawks over a PA system. It's the very very hardest task you'll ever have to do, and I'm sure you were magnificent. Sending you hugs and back rubs.

Sent by Kate | 6:50 PM ET | 08-19-2008

One day at a time, Laurie.
I hope you have good friends and family who can stay with you and take care of you. I have thought of you all day.

We are all thinking of you.

Sent by Robin Smith | 6:53 PM ET | 08-19-2008

One day at a time, Laurie.
I hope you have good friends and family who can stay with you and take care of you. I have thought of you all day.

We are all thinking of you.

Sent by Robin Smith | 6:53 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, may Leroy's spirit lift you from this time of heartache. He is missed by so many of us who faithfully followed his very personal journey. May the memories of your years together bring you comfort and peace.

Sent by Chris D. | 6:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hello Laurie:

Leroy was a wonderful person and we should all be happy that we got the chance to know him even though for many of us it was all to brief. Good luck with everything on your plate.

Sent by Colin R. Ferriman | 7:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie --

I have been stunned, shocked, and could not think of anything to say until now. Of course I am lifting you up -- you have been such a rock through all of this. But now is not the time, I think, to be a rock. Get multiple hugs. Cry. Scream, if you need to. Take lots of bubble baths. Eat doughnuts and ice cream. Lots. Hit pillows. Punch walls.

What the two of you did and made together is about the bravest and most honest and hardest thing I have ever witnessed. You both helped thousands of us who have been touched, and are still being touched, by this disease. You made a huge difference, both to Leroy and to all of us out here in the blogosphere.

Your fellow was something very special -- eloquent, feeling, brave, and above all, honest. Sometimes, excruciatingly so. You both chose well.

So I lift you up. The early days, with the planning and exhausting activity are the easiest. But I pledge to try to still be here for you when the nights grow long and the casseroles stop coming.

Sent by Victoria Ferreira | 7:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I thought of you this morning, and a song. I played this song almost every morning while my mother was dying during her long and difficult illness. It gave me strength and comfort. I hope it helps. It's by Sting...
"He looked beneath his shirt today
There was a wound in his flesh so deep and wide
From the wound a lovely flower grew
From somewhere deep inside
He turned around to face his mother
To show her the wound in his breast that burned like a brand
But the sword that cut him open
Was the sword in his mothers hand

Every day another miracle
Only death will tear us apart
To sacrifice a life for yours
Id be the blood of the lazarus heart
The blood of the lazarus heart

Though the sword was his protection
The wound itself would give him power
The power to remake himself at the time of his darkest hour
She said the wound would give him courage and pain
The kind of pain that you cant hide
From the wound a lovely flower grew
From somewhere deep inside

Every day another miracle
Only death will keep us apart
To sacrifice a life for yours
Id be the blood of the lazarus heart
The blood of the lazarus heart

Birds on the roof of my mothers house
Ive no stones that chase them away
Birds on the roof of my mothers house
Will sit on my roof some day
They fly at the window, they fly at the door
Where does she get the strength to fight them anymore
She counts all her children as a shield against the pain
Lifts her eyes to the sky like a flower in the rain

Every day another miracle
Only death will keep us apart
To sacrifice a life for yours
Id be the blood of the lazarus heart
The blood of the lazarus heart"
You were Leroy's angel, God bless you...ESW

Sent by Eric Steven Wray | 7:13 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie: Words fail me. May you find comfort in your family and friends and the 'strangers' who read this blog everyday. The strangers like me who fell in love with you and Leroy.

Sent by Susan | 7:18 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, I just read Leroys' obits in the NY Times and Washington Post. Leroy had quite a career, and made a big impact on journalism.
I noted the Posts' error in saying that he'd died from brain cancer, and also noted that you and Leroy had gotten married in June. I'm sure that that was a bittersweet occasion, and understand your wanting to keep that part of your lives private.
It goes without saying that your blog family is here for and with you. It feels odd saying that we're grieving for Leroy, since most of us never met him in person, but as hundreds of us have said in the last few days, Leroy had the gift of communicating with us in a way that transcended the blog format. He let us in. He was real for us and to us. He was humble, humorous, and caring. He was in short, everything one would want in a friend.
We will all need holding up here, and you most of all. I know that you have grieving to do, and that it will be hard, but I have no doubt that you won't have any grief work. You'll have none of the "coulda, woulda, shouldas' to concern you about how you cared for Leroy.
Just imagine yourself the nucleus in the center of a group hug from all of us who got to ride Leroys' roller coaster for a while. You're family now. Nancy

Sent by Nancy K. Clark | 7:21 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We can "lift" as long as you need us - even when we don't post, we are with you.

Sent by Nancy | 7:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Be however your body wants to be!!Be tired,be angry,be grouchy,be sad,be grateful-you decide-no thoughts of anyone else.That will be the hard part!Not being "on call".....just be.

Sent by suebee | 7:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

You say "lift"
I ask "how high?"

Sent by Theresa Lovin | 7:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

Your husband was a wonderful man and he helped so many of us out here. Although I never met him, he sure felt like a close friend! I loved his humor; just the way he saw and reported things drew me to him. What a truly fantastic quality that is for someone to have!

God Bless You, Laurie. Thanks for all of your support of this super guy and for aiding him in sharing so much of himself with us!

Sent by Caroline | 7:37 PM ET | 08-19-2008

You got it...lifted in the south

Sent by Elizabeth Hertzfeld | 7:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie
My thoughts and prayers will be with you for a long, long time. I've been there, it isn't easy. It is good to have help in the lifting.
Much love, Luba

Sent by Luba | 7:45 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

I am a first year medical student.

For the past two years I have read this blog, working toward the day I could lend a hand and help out. I wanted to tell you I am a better person and certainly will be a better physician for Leroy's insights.

I am very grateful to you and Leroy. Thank you, and take care.

-Jim

Sent by Jim | 7:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie:

I'm imagining you bathed in a beautiful, bouyant white light made out of the love and prayers and blessings of all those who are thinking of you and praying for you.

Leroy too, rests in his own illuminating light. His spirit shines on all of us with his peace and his courage and his love.

Sent by Kathy | 7:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1...2....3...LIFT
today and all days, may your spirit be lifted and find peacefulness.

Sent by Rochelle | 7:50 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dearest Laurie, know how much we all care for you. Borrow our strength.

Give in to the grief. There are no shortcuts.

But also keep these two things in mind. First, let the love you and Leroy shared warm and calm you. Second, know that Leroy wants you to be happy again.

Sent by Kay | 7:52 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Last night my knitting group met and mourned the passing of a friend lost to ovarian cancer and Leroy, a friend we knew though we had never met. Our sympathy to you on your loss. We are here for you.

Sent by Karen | 7:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
You have endured such a long and difficult journey. We all admire your selfless generosity and steadfastness in the face of such pain. Please know that thousands of us hold you up to the light daily.
Wishing for some gentle peace for you amidst the pain.

Sent by Lesa J in MO | 8:00 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie;
Well, I was true to my word; I cried not "a few" but many tears at hearing of Leroy's passing.

We are all with you, grieving with you; well aware that you are in need of being lifted. That is why we are here. We did not leave Leroy and we will not leave you either; you can decide if and when you want/need to stop blogging but I just want you to know that I have laughed with you, cried with you, feared with you and hopefully we trusted God together. He is the one who got us through and will get us through this and then someday, when our time comes, we can only pray that we can have some of the support that we were able to give Leroy during his darkest moments. It was a labor of love for us and we would do it again. I pray that God will comfort you and give You "loving holy hugs" as you cry out to Him in this time.

I so enjoyed every word Leroy wrote; if there is any way that we can honor him by nominating him for the Nobel Peace Prize (or whatever the highest award is for journalism), I would be glad to add my signature among the thousands who would like to honor him in this way.

God bless you Laurie; my prayers and tears are with you at this time. May God lift you up and strengthen you; encourage you in the dark times and hold you in the sad times. May He bring back sweet and funny moments to brighten your day and remind you that you too are loved and being held very close to Him at this time. Holding you up in my prayers...

Sent by Denise in Ohio | 8:04 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I have been out of town with no internet access and I just came home to read the devastating news. I hope you and Leroy both truly realize the impact both of you have had on my life, as well as so many others. Please know and always remember that we are not leaving you. We are with you always. I wish I could give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on and I would cry along with you. Please take care of yourself. When you remember your life together with Leroy, you remember the happy times and the love and laughter you brought each other and then you will realize you can live another day. Peace always.

Sent by Susan Saoui | 8:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie

I am visualizing a white light of support lifting you comfortably. Giving you Love and Healing Light.

I'm sure Leroy is right there beside you, looking over YOU now.

peace
Jenn from Maine

Sent by jenngie | 8:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

No problem, Laurie. We hold you in our hearts as we continue to hold Leroy. Feel the surge?

Sent by Leslie C | 8:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I feel honored to be able to lift and I am happy to do it for as long as needed. You will never know what you and Leroy have done for me. Understanding cancer and the process and feelings have allowed me to understand the things that have been unspoken (but felt) in my own family when dealing with cancer. My heart has been with you for some time now and especially since Saturday morning and will continue being with you. God bless you. ((((hugs))))

Sent by Michelle | 8:11 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
Leroy lifted our hearts and minds for so long that I don't believe a single reader would ever dream of not checking the blog everyday as we have grown accustom to over the last few years. We will be here whenever you need a lift!! You and your family are in our hearts as you begin the long journey called life after cancer. Praying for your peace and happiness.

Sent by Kim Schmidt | 8:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

The Eurythmics have a song on their "Peace" album called "Keep on Lifting". It ends with the wish that the listener finds "peace at last".

Keep on lifting....

Sent by Tym (www.vampdaddy.com) | 8:16 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

My wife subscribed to Leroy's blog when she was battling this terrible disease and it gave her such comfort to know she was not alone, and more importantly there were people like Leroy who spoke out and told their story. My wife passed away a year and a half a go now, and I have continued to read Leroy's blog. It reminds me of the wonder that is the human spirit, it reminds me of a brotherhood/sisterhood of bravery that exists amongst all of the people this terrible thing touches. It reminds me of our strength and our will to live our lives in spite of our fears.

Grief is a terrible thing and I have some idea of how you are feeling. Again you are not alone, and i hope Leroy's legacy and this blog provide you with a foundation to find some happiness down the road. My thoughts are with you.

Sent by Keith Goodwin (England) | 8:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I am posting for the first time. I want to thank both you and Leroy for your courage and honesty. My dear brother in law is in a late stage battle with a viscious brain tumor. My sister and I have watched the Discovery show (Living with Cancer) often and have followed this blog. My heart sank in learning of his passing with the realizing we too will sometime have the same pain. I learned grace and humility through your words. May God bless you and Leroy and know that our lives and our journey have been touched by the story of yours. Thank you.

Sent by Shiobbean | 8:25 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I want to tell you a story that about Leroy. It's just a few moments of his life but it is the moments I remember him by... After interning for Nightline 7 years ago, I wanted more than anything to go back and work there. I had worked for ABC for about a year when a position opened up at Nightline. I quickly emailed Leroy and asked that he consider me for the job. A few days later he said the job was all mine but he added..."I would think you were crazy if you accepted it." See the thing is I had another job offer, one with a better salary and more field opportunities. Leroy saw that I was willing to give all that up the because I wanted so badly to be a part of the Nightline team. Also, I didn't want to let Leroy down because on so many occasions he was so kindly willing to give me a good recommendation. On my way to meet with him, going down the stairs to the 3rd floor, my heart was beating fast and I was so nervous about making the right decision. But when I got there, he immediatly put my mind at ease..he knew what was better for me and so made my choice much easier. It seems like such a small thing but for me it meant making the right career choice with the blessings of one of the people I respect most in this industry. Its just a small memory I have of him, one that I wanted to share with you...

I promise to keep lifting..

Sent by Reem | 8:26 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie
I know your heart is breaking right now and I just want you to know that you are not alone. There are several of us out here that have gone thru the love and loss too. You will remember the good times, and the laughable moments, and the hugs and kisses. But you also need to remember he will always love you. You have a new job now and that is to live. With love and tears, Roxanne

Sent by Roxanne C. | 8:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie--you deserve as many lifts as your blogging family can give. My heart and good wishes go out to you in this difficult time. I cannot imagine your pain but so appreciate how you let us share with you and Leroy through this blog.

Sent by MarthaC. | 8:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

1..HUG....2..HOLD....3..LIFT.....for as long as you need! Thankyou for asking!

Sent by janet | 8:31 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Cancer and other diseases that tackle our body can also strengthen and inspire our spirit. Leroy was inspired to share, and he shared with honesty, grace, and great humanity. All who've read his blog and listened to his radio diary have learned a lot and felt a lot. What a creative and generous man.

Sent by RickDC | 8:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely, sweetheart! Even as I read Leroy's posts, I always thought of you, how hard it is for the caregiver to do and be, all the time wishing for what used to be and couldn't be again. It was clear, though, that you stayed right there all the way, with true courage, love and kindness, through your own pain and loss. Please take the time to come through this intense period of loss at your own pace and in your own way. We'll be here as long as you need us.

Sent by Sandy | 8:40 PM ET | 08-19-2008

When I read your post, strangely, I just kept thinking about a line from a kind of sappy movie that I just love,Sleepless in Seattle, where the Tom Hanks character is talking about his wife that he loved so much and who has died. He is asked what he is going to do and he says: "Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning...breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while." Maybe it wasn't always all great and perfect,no real relationship is, but it was apparent that you two had something wonderful together. I am just so sorry that you didn't have many more years with Leroy. Take care.

Sent by Bonnie | 8:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Yes, Laurie, I will be on your lifting team - holding you in prayer and good thoughts. During this difficult time of transition, may the knowledge that so many are supporting you add to the courage and grace deep within you, the courage and grace that you have demonstrated so many times.

Sent by Janet | 8:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I think I speak for all of us when I say that we will be here for you for as long as you need us...and a couple of days more. We are like bad relitives, youre gonna have to kick us out.
We love you hon.
Liz Z

Sent by liz Zimmerman | 8:54 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

As someone who has lost two immediate family members to cancer in the past 18 months, I can somewhat understand the pain you feel right now.

My mother passed away during the holidays, a time that's usually so filled with joy, but it felt as if my world stopped. It was difficult for me to understand how life could go on, especially with all of the festivities. It was a very dark time for me and my despair turned to anger. I was very angry that cancer took my mother's life - and that it would also strike again - as my sister was diagnosed as stage IV.

With reflection and time I finally came to the realization that MY life had not ended and that both my mother and sister would not want my life to be the third lost in the battle.

So, I live my life the best that I can and with a perspective that only comes from such an experience. I pray that you too will someday be able to move forward again with your life - your changed and different life - your life that is still full of promise.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that in some way my words can provide you that 'lift' that you need right now.

Lori

Sent by Lori | 8:54 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I know there have been times when I only wanted someone to lift me up. Sometime when you have time, you may take some solace in the song YOU LIFT ME UP and the beautiful slide show that has to do with parents and children. It helps me with coping with someone in the hospital.
Link is
http://parentswish.com/

My heartfelt sympathies
Allan

Sent by Allan Stocker | 8:55 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

I am so sad! Thank you so much for you and Leroy letting us be a part of your life. This blog has brought me so much comfort. It is an honor to "lift" you.

My love to you, Laurie, and my cancer family.

Betty Lewis

Sent by Betty Lewis | 8:56 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Lauri,

"Free at Last! Thank God Almighty Leroy is Free at Last."

May your memories of times together stay with you the rest of your days.

May Leroy continue to comfort and support you in Spirit as he did in the flesh.

Blessings,

Sent by Free Polazzo | 9:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

With all my might.
God bless you.

Sent by Jane | 9:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie
I wish I had some great insight for you, but no such luck. It's always been clear how much you love each other and time won't make that go away, but hopefully, that love will continue in some new way. For now, Just waking up every day and putting one foot in front of another will be a testament to what you shared. I am praying for God's grace to wrap you like a warm blanket to comfort you. with love,

Sent by valerie Longfellow | 9:03 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

We are all hear for you to "lift" you in any small way we can. My deepest sympathies go to you.

Sent by Eva | 9:04 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I am thinking of you right now, and hoping that your many happy memories of Leroy will help you through this time.

Thank you for everything you've done on this blog.

Sent by Todd | 9:11 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie---you and Leroy are in our hearts and in our thoughts. We've been so privileged to share in your lives for so long, and to share some of your strength. We hope you can feel some of our love and share some kind vibes from us whenever you need it.

Sent by Ginny | 9:21 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We're here. Leroy and you could not have created a more beautiful, profound outlet for your experience. Imagine...thousands of people you have not met are moved to tears by all of this. You have helped many I'm sure.

Sent by Mike | 9:22 PM ET | 08-19-2008

530 lifts . . . make that 531 lifts and still coming . . .
1.2.3. . . LIFT!

Sent by Marilyn | 9:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
God gave you and Leroy the opportunity to help many people! That is truly a blessing! Leroy is in a better place now and one day we hope to join him! God bless you!

Sent by Marilyn Lewis | 9:24 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, With the immense generousity if spirit that you and Leroy gave to all of us even in the darkest points of your lives, how could we then down your request? We are your brothers and sisters and we will be here for as long as you need or want us. May God bless you with peace this night for a restful sleep and strenghth for the coming day. Syndi Holmes, Mocksville, NC

Sent by Syndi Holmes | 9:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Jane in AR: Thank you.

You can talk about it all you want, but until you lose your spouse--who you were supposed to grow old with--you really don't understand.

Laurie's on a completely new journey now. The house will feel too big, the extravagances will seem too indulgent. There will be people coming to take away sickroom supplies. Interferences, inconveniences. Money concerns..."can I afford this alone?"

Laurie, what helps me most sometimes is just ordering a big, greasy double pepperoni pizza from Domino's and wallowing in the grief. Soak in it a while, and then move ahead a little.

It's no fun and not easy, but we get through however we can.

Get some rest, sweetheart. I know you're tired, even if you don't. I've been there.

Much love, as always

Sent by Bruce | 9:32 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that your precious memories will soon bring you comfort and peace. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you all...

Sent by Rebecca Weber (Little Rock, AR) | 9:34 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I heard on Sunday morning... I was in my car, driving to my weekly brunch with family and despite everything, I was shocked. I burst out crying. Actually, it was in my car only about a mile away, that I first met Leroy. I remember wondering how he could be so routine-sounding, so unfreaked-out, while talking about his brain tumors.
Anyway, I am still in denial I guess. I just can't believe he is really gone. I am even in 'the business,' medicine and am around illness, cancer, death a lot. I guess nobody really can fathom the end until it happens to you.
Remember, Laurie, in these very, very dark days, that there are people in every city, every state, and probably a bunch of countries too, who are thinking about you...who are with you.
Thanks for your post today. I'm sure it was really hard to write.

Sent by Emily | 9:34 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie!
So very sorry to read about Leroy. I pray now that the Lord soon lifts the burden of grief in your loss. With time the sorrow you feel will pass to a large degree. Memories of the good times will return and you will feel happy that you had those opportunities. God Bless!

Sent by Vic Van | 9:36 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
As much as we all were witnesses to Leroy's battle with cancer, you were his companion on that journey. The disease was his--and yours. We all know that he felt the support offered to him by his readers, but yours was the light that guided him. I know that you faced it all with a great deal of courage--even if you knew that you were on a terrifying road that would end at a crossroad of loss, love, and grief. We honor him AND you. We honor his memory, the life that you gave him, and the life that you will live with Leroy in your heart. May you find peace.

Sent by Barbara | 9:41 PM ET | 08-19-2008

We are all with you Laurie!

Sent by Brady | 9:43 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I missed a few days of this blog because I was rushed to the hospital a few nights ago because I went into seizures as a result of the tumors in my brain (from metastatic breast cancer). The only thing I could think about when I was conscious again was what a scare I'd given my husband. Cancer is tough on the patient, but it's truly heartbreaking to loved ones. I feel guilty that I will die soon and be free of pain, but my husband, my family, and friends will have to live on with the pain. My only consolation is that even with the pain, they were better off having me in their lives than not. You've been such an important part of Leroy's life. He might not have been who he was, he might not have been able to get through as much as he did with so much grace and open-heartedness if it hadn't been for you. Let that be your strength. You and Leroy have held us all up and given us strength these past few years and in our hearts and minds, for many years to come. I will never forget Leroy, and I will never forget you for all that you have done for me. Know that we are all with you in our hearts.

Sent by Shin | 9:46 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, When my sister Laurie died in 1995, I was so afraid that time would make me feel distant from her. It's now been thirteen years, and I don't feel distant from her. I learned that Yogi Berra's famous line, "It ain't over till it's over," is not true. I found that it's not over, even when it's over. My relationship with my sister Laurie continues. My satisfaction with my life has gotten better, even though I lost my sister. I miss sharing all my present excitement about life with Laurie, but I carry Laurie with me. I hope that you will be able to feel that you carry Larry with you.

Sent by Karen Phillips | 9:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Thank you for opening your world to us, the wide unknown. For those of us on either side of treatment, on the table getting the poison or watching a loved one brought close to death for a chance at life, it is comforting to know that we are not alone. A lift to you...

Much love

Sent by Sarah | 9:54 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,You are in my thoughts and prayers and have been so very often in the last
months. You have been such a rock for
Leroy. Please take care of you-eat,rest, allow yourself to cry, talk to someone when you need to talk. I am lifting you up. Blessings, peace
and Love, Diane from Kansas

Sent by Diane | 9:55 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Bravo to you for asking us Laurie!! I truly believe any of us would do anything in our power to be whatever it is you need, if only we could do more. We are here - thank you for allowing us to be! many prayers...

Sent by Lydia Stech Yoder | 9:55 PM ET | 08-19-2008

***hug***

Sent by Laura | 9:56 PM ET | 08-19-2008

.....I'll keep pushing and lifting for as long as you need

Sent by Margarita Coloma | 10:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I am sending my best thoughts to you while you try to figure out how to deal with your new world without Leroy. You just have to get through one day at a time and I know how hard it is to try and concentrate on something other than your grief. Spend time with friends, family and co-workers so that you are not alone. I know it sounds stupid, but taking walks really helps. I know you do not have a dog, but borrow one from a friend! When I had lost someone, walks with the 'pup' always made me feel better. I could talk to myself inside my head or talk to the doggie at my side. A lot to be said for fresh air and a wagging tongue. Things will get easier, but it will take time. Take care of yourself most of all.

Sent by Cindee | 10:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie--
Kate was right. You did a magnificent job giving Leroy the type of passing he wanted. In the podcast Q and A in July, someone asked him where he would like to die. He paused, taken aback a little by the question. He answered somewhat emotionally with one syllable, "Home."
And you made sure that happened. And you supported him at every turn. Take heart and feel proud at how well you served as his pillar.

To Laurie who is 27: I am sending you a big hug and a prayer for strength and peace.

Sent by Katie | 10:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Gladly, Laurie!
1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . Alley Oop!!

Thank you for showing us a way to give back to you. Somehow I feel Leroy would be pleased with the outpouring of love for you.

Linda Mc

Sent by Linda Mc | 10:11 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

I am so sorry that Leroy is gone; we will miss him greatly. We are lifting with you.

Sent by Mike | 10:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

"Could you keep "lifting" me just a little longer ... please?"

For as long as you want and need us, Laurie--every minute, 24/7, if necessary.

Pat
http://gaelenscafe.blogspot.com/

Sent by Pat Steer | 10:15 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Absolutely lifting here, Laurie. I remeber the early weeks after Kerry's death well, and many lifted me.

Sent by Victoria Hendricks | 10:17 PM ET | 08-19-2008

After my mother passed earlier this year of pancreatic cancer I found that it helped to just breathe. When I felt the world sinking in around me and wondering how to go on... just breathe. One breath at a time. One prayer at a time. Please know that I thank you for taking care of Leroy, now please take care of you too. Lifting you in prayer - Jennifer

Sent by Jennifer | 10:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Cradling you in thought and prayer, Laurie -- during this impossibly difficult time.

Sent by Dorothy | 10:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,

1,2,3, Lifting you from the west coast. Whenever you're up to it, please share some of your Leroy with us. The Leroy BC (before cancer), the Leory that we never got to know, or miss, like you.

xoxoxoxo

Sent by Terri (Seattle) | 10:25 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I don't think any of us here want to leave you. I don't know what happens next but I know this community needs to carry on lifting each other.

Love is stronger than death.
So I must be content to know that
love is not affected by death--
it doesn't end, it doesn't diminish,
it doesn't change.
Instead, love is immortalized
and eternalized through death.
And the possibility of that love ever
being damaged or broken
is eliminated forever.
I'll put my trust in love.
(Mary Hollingsworth)

Sent by Nancy | 10:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

laurie,

I know you have a hole in your heart and hurt so bad....but you are blessed and lucky to have had Leroy in your life...you will heal in time and will never forget. But you will grow stronger because you were fortuntate enough to have shared someone so thoughtful/strong and courageous in your life!!! You must be someone special to have had a guy like Leroy!!

Rudy from Montreal

Sent by Rudy | 10:27 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I've been reading Leroy's blog since I heard his first piece on the air but I've never commented. I think I always thought (and hoped) that I would have another chance. But now I want to let you know how much I valued Leroy's posts, how much I felt I got to know him and, in some way, you, as well, and how very shocked and saddened I was to hear of his passing. I add my prayers and thoughts to those of everyone here and hope that you are taking care of yourself.

Sent by Lesley | 10:37 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
From the time my father was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007, Leroy's blog was a source of wisdom and strength for me. Leroy's blog taught me how to cope with my father's cancer, how best to lift his spirits, how to make the most of the remaining time we had together. Moreover, from Leroy's wisdom I learned important life lessons that will stay with me forever. Perhaps most importantly, I learned from him that life is beautiful--even in the ugliest and most challenging moments--there is beauty in every moment if you only look for it.

Apart from learning how to deal with the cancer in my life, I also found myself reading the blog everyday out of earnest concern for Leroy, anxious about learn how he was doing. I found myself thinking of him often during my days, and keeping him in my prayers.

After my father passed in March 08, I felt compelled to keep reading Leroy's posts, each time when going to his site, hoping there would be more good news than bad; and in the last weeks, hoping each time as his webpage would open on my computer, that his passing would not be the news of the day. I was saddened to read the news finally. I know the abyss of loss you must feel - no matter how much you try to prepare for the eventuality of a loved one's death, it is impossible to understand the pain and loss until you actually bear it. Although I believe the loss and emptiness never go away, slowly, somehow the saddness which comes with with the loss fades, and in its place, comes a feeling of being so blessed to have had such a special person in your life.

Although many of us got to know him only thru the blog, it was clear he was a great man, and for the short time we knew him, it was quite
apparent that he lived a wonderful life. He shared his life with
a wonderful partner, and thru his life, brought to this world wisdom and courage that will
be his legacy. He fulfilled in his short time, what each of us is
given on this earth, what most of us dream to do.

I wish you strength and health to keep his memory alive for many many years to come.

Sent by Elaine Shokrollahi | 10:40 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I have not been posting on the blog much as I have been dealing with my own cancer, but have been reading the blog regularly. I have also been the care giver as well when my wife was undergoing cancer treatment at the same time.

My prayers go out to you on your loss. Larry was very special to you and to everyone who read his blog or listened to his accounts of life on NPR.

Be proud of your support for Larry and forgive him for the times when he took out ma bad moment on you.

May Larry's memory be an inspiration and a blessing for you, his friends & family, and everyone reading his blog.

Jim

Sent by Jim Bloom | 10:41 PM ET | 08-19-2008

My thoughts are with you. This blog has been such an inspiration to so many in so many ways. Leroy will be missed.

Laurie,
I am so sorry for your loss.

Sent by M. Dove | 10:41 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
We are sending you all of our strength and lifting you along on the road ahead.
Wonderful memories will bring a smile when you least expect one.

Sent by Deb | 10:44 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
With the blog, you and Leroy have touched lives on every side of the cancer battle. For the most part, posts are from those struggling with the disease. I'm on the other side of the fight: when I first accepted a position at a small pharmaceutical company specializing in oncology research, I had reservations about the ethics of working in this profession. I have always wanted to be part of something ethically and socially good and was nervous working in a field so driven by profit. While I still think there are many problems with WHY our company is driven to come up with novel cancer therapeutics, I have come to realize that I am part of something amazing. Practically every day for the last year, I have used this blog as motivation to keep at it. Thank you...you and Leroy have made a difference on so many levels.

Hopefully this gives you a small portion of the lift you need.

Sent by cg | 10:45 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
My heart goes out to you. Leroy's thoughtful blog was a daily reminder how precious life truly is.

Sent by mary | 10:49 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I have been lifting you up in prayer since the moment I realized you were without your precious Leroy.....hope you can feel the embrace of the hug I wish I could give you as well. Peace and love to you.

Sent by Ruth Chermok | 10:51 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie -

I am lifting - and lifting as a much stronger person than when I first "met" Leroy - thanks in part to Leroy. He was an inspiration, and I learned many things from him - about strength and gained some perspective too. I heard of his passing in the elevator at work when a co-worker said to me, your friend passed away, I heard it on NPR. It was an emotional time, but hearing her refer to him as my friend, although we had never physically met brought it home to me how much his daily posts meant. I am truly sorry for your loss, and grateful to you and Leroy for sharing your lives and your strength. So we will all lift you up when you need some of that strength paid back. Take good care of you.

Sent by Jill - Madison, WI | 10:59 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie:
I have been lurking for I don't know how long. Maybe a year. My boyfriend had colon cancer in 2006. I started reading Leroy's blog from time to time, and found it helped to read about his experience. I found him to be quite cool, very insightful and courageous! I miss him, but know that you miss him much much more. Very sorry for your loss of him. He was fortunate to have you in his life and heart. He remains in yours eternally.

Sent by Elissa | 11:01 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Hi Laurie,

As always, I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. So many are here to lift you up. May God bring you peace in these difficult times. Take care of yourself and get some rest.

Sent by Karen | 11:04 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie, please know that there are so, so many people - many more than will write - who are thinking of you and holding you in our thoughts and prayers. Please take good care of yourself and let others know what you need - you deserve to be held up for as long as you need to be.

Sent by Amy | 11:06 PM ET | 08-19-2008

no need to ask after all that you and Leroy have done for us. I continue to keep you, Leroy and everyone living with this monster in my prayers. I hope that you can feel the thousands of hands holding you up!

Sent by Belinda | 11:07 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie

For you and Leroy...who lifted me when I needed it...you will be forever in my prayers

Lift!

Sent by John | 11:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie, I was gone all day and got in late but when I read today's post I wanted to offer token support. I know so many of those of us who relied on Leroy's blog miss him.

It made me smile when I heard on TALK OF THE NATION that you all had celebrated Leroy's life at the Canal! I hope that helped and I think Leroy was happy about that.

Hopefully, all of the support on this blog will help in time. Peace,

Sent by Dona | 11:08 PM ET | 08-19-2008

in the aftermath the hardest thing is to keep going, and remember that your life is worth living, and that leroy would want you to be happy, and if you cant be happy now, just know that one day, you will be.

1 2 3

lift.

we all need it sometimes.

Sent by brooke | 11:10 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

I started reading My Cancer when my sister was diagnosed with cancer and continued to read it as I went through my own mastectomy surgery.

His writing and the company who surrounded him here brought me a lot of comfort and lifted me. I hope we can help lift you too with our good wishes and sympathy for you.

Sent by Grace T | 11:18 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie,
I'm a young woman embarking on a very difficult career path...I've relied on expert advice every step of the way. So when my dad was diagnosed with cancer last summer, I read all of the expert advice- clinical studies, medical journals... but didn't find any relief. It was Leroy's honesty, frankness, and humor in the My Cancer blog that got me through a very difficult year. I am a firm believer in the little things in life bringing true joy. The blog certainly brightens my days when they seemed a little too sad. Thanks for all of your contribution to the community!

Best Wishes!!!

Sent by Hillary | 11:19 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,

While we do not feel the loss of Leroy in the same way that you do, just know that we all feel your pain. We loved Leroy and understand your sense of loss. Some of us on this blog are survivors and have also lost family members and friends. We know what it is like to go through what you have gone through over these past years.

I would love to be here for you as long as you need " lifting up", because that is what your wonderful husband did for me.

God bless you Laurie.

Karen

Sent by Karen | 11:21 PM ET | 08-19-2008

I just came back from being out of town. I knew things were bad last week when Leroy did not post on his blog on Friday. I came home and read my friend's email to me about Leroy. Words cannot describe how sorry I am for you Laurie. But you need to somehow find the strength within yourself to know how fortunate you were to know someone like Leroy. I did not know him but I am jealous of you that you did. I admire most of all how he fought a fight that somewhere deep inside he knew he could not win. I think all of us who are fighting the fight against cancer know that in the end we will lose. But it is a challenge to fight. There are some who win, I suppose and I guess it is those who win who give us the courage to fight. And Leroy certainly fought. I think you will find yourself feeling blessed that you knew someone like him. And that I hope will sustain you if not now then in the future. I am again so sorry for your profound loss.

Sent by Helene Weingarten | 11:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie
I realize this may be too soon after "our" loss but just as a thought about the blog...maybe turning it into a "survivors loss" blog could be an idea.
I'm sorry if this was a crude comment during your grief.
much love

Sent by Debbie | 11:29 PM ET | 08-19-2008

When you feel overwhelmed, and need someone to listen, write it down. Write to us. Many of us have sadly, know what you are feeling and will be right there for you and will listen-sometimes, you just need someone to listen. I'm so sorry that he's not with you-I never met him but I miss him too. He reminds me how life can be so simple and so beautiful and to remember to take care to see this each day. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this incredible sadness. Just know we're all here for you, to listen and then, listen some more. I lost my Dad to this and I cried when I saw the post-It helped me to talk to my sisters over and over again and again. It's what you do.

Sent by michele | 11:31 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie,
Hope you've not gotten dizzy with all the lifts offered. One trite but true thing is to avoid big decisions for as long as you can. Huge grief makes you so hugely nutty.

Sent by Ellen | 11:51 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Laurie
1,2,3 Lift, Take care of yourself and thoughts are with you. I lost my husband 2/10/06 to the beast, just what cancer is.
Be Strong and Kind to Yourself.

Sent by Carolyn | 11:57 PM ET | 08-19-2008

Dear Laurie --

I am sure that you and Leroy, literary folks that you are, had and have your favorites, but I just have to share an Emily Dickinson piece -- it's a bit of a puzzle, but when I was grasping, it helped.
WE GROW ACUSTOMED TO THE DARK

We grow accustomed to the Dark--
When light is put away--
As when the Neighbor holds the Lamp
To witness her Goodbye--

A Moment -- We uncertain step
For newness of the night --
Then--fit our Vision to the Dark--
And meet the Road -- erect--

And so of larger -- Darknesses --
Those Evenings of the Brain--
When not a Moon disclose a sign--
Or Star--come out--within--

The Bravest--grope a little--
And sometimes hit a Tree
Directly in the Forehead--
But as they learn to see--

Either the Darkness alters--
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight--
And Life steps almost straight.

Sent by Victoria Ferreira | 11:58 PM ET | 08-19-2008

The number of times this blog has helped get out of bed to start the day! We all need those lifts and you and Leroy provided them selflessly.
Language fascinates me and I noticed months ago your last name. You must descend from a singer. I hope that the singer in you will soon be able to sing your song that lifts us all, as you have done so often.

Till then, I hope my song, weak and, perhaps off-key, will provide just enough lift, when added to the chorus from this blog, to lift you enough for the day's tasks.
Love and hope,
Ann

Sent by Ann | 12:00 AM ET | 08-20-2008

I have read your husbands commentary/blog for a very long time now and in some small way felt I knew him and with his openess made a pathway for those who came before and will come after when their lives are touched by cancer. He was a man with great presence. He made a huge difference to millions of people.

Sent by margaret | 12:04 AM ET | 08-20-2008

I didn't realize that reading this blog had become so important to my daily routine, and now I miss it so much. Laurie, I hope you can find some comfort in Leroy's amazing legacy, how wonderful and important you've been throughout the whole process, and by how loved Leroy was by so many people- me included. During this difficult time, my thoughts and prayers are with you. 1..2..3...LIFT!

Sent by Sara | 12:09 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Lifting, listening...

Sent by Jen | 12:10 AM ET | 08-20-2008

a warm virtual hug to you....I am stunned.

Sent by carrie Belair | 12:14 AM ET | 08-20-2008

LIFTING you with arms that will never tire.

Sent by Linda | 12:24 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Of course Laurie. Do what you need to do and I'll be there for you. Three years ago I lost my 20 year old daughter in a motorcycle accident. My saving has been writing every thought down on paper so they don't crash around in my head. That is exactly what I needed to do.

Hugs,
Jocelyn

Sent by jocelyn | 12:33 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie,
I have been a "lurker" around this blog and listened to Leroy on NPR. His blog has made the world a better place and the road those with cancer travel a little easier.

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the grief you now feel. I wish there was something to be said that could relieve you of the suffering and pain you are going through. I hope you will allow yourself to lean on those around you and to grieve as much as you need. This has been a long and emotional rollercoaster for you so let everyone just hold you up for a while.

Sent by Rachel | 12:36 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie,
I lost my Dad to cancer last September, and found Leroy's blog shortly after. Laurie, I can't tell you how much Leroy's & your sharing has lifted ME up, helped me understand, helped me laugh, cry, be weak, be strong. I pray for you to be wrapped in peace and love.
1-2-3-Love,
Evie

Sent by Evie | 12:50 AM ET | 08-20-2008

You got it, Laurie....always in our thoughts and prayers!

Sent by Amy in NJ | 12:52 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie:

When you are ready, we are here.

As Carol King put it, "You've Got A Friend."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6r1175w_lM

Sent by Nikki in Kansas | 12:53 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie: what an incredible honor and privilege to be asked, and allowed, to lift you up. I hope you feel the strength of the thousands of hands that you and Leroy have held, and touched, over these past 2 1/2 years.

Suzanne in Houston

Sent by suzanne mitchell | 1:01 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie,
I am lifting with all my might. I have my 31st chemo tomorrow, so I don't feel that strong, but you have every once of strength I have. Thank you to you and Leroy for the grace and leadership you have shown us all.

Sent by Bart Dean | 1:02 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie,

I, and the rest here, will continue to lift until you no longer need it. We will not fail you.

Sent by Rhino | 1:04 AM ET | 08-20-2008

You're in our thoughts, Laurie....just as your beloved Leroy was. You'll never know me, nor will you know the millions of others who have followed your ordel...you'll never meet us, recognize our faces or turn around at the sound of our voices on the street...we encompass all demographics....all races....all cultures...but know this...both of you are in our thoughts, our prayers. We think about you in our cars or as we stand in line waiting to purchase our childrens school supplies...we think of you....and we hold you close to our hearts....we wrap our arms around your sorrow....our love for you softly brushes the tears from your cheeks...we share your sorrow...know that you are in our thoughts...you are in our hearts...you do not endure this alone...we are with you...you will not be left alone.

Sent by Dan Przywojski- Anchorage | 1:08 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Yes, I am glad to be able to help in some small way. I was pleased to see the blog today. I hope it will be helpful for you to write when you feel up to it, from your new perspective.
My husband died nearly 4 1/2 years ago, though not from cancer, and I agree with the others that you need to grieve in your own way. The only book I read of those I was given was a thin one called "Tear Soup."
I send you my love. By the way, have you noticed all the places these comments are coming from? I think I noticed nearly all the states and a few other nations-- That should give you a well-braced "lift."
Take care of yourself.

Sent by Judith Newkirk | 1:32 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie,
Surely not just "a little longer"? PLEASE take over the post on a permanent basis, when you're ready!!! We all love you, we're family, and we'd be adrift without this column!!! Thanks for caring!!!
And by the way - I just had a dream about Leroy!!! He was sitting at a kitchen table eating a plate of chicken wings - I couldn't see who he was talking to, but he was grinning and saying to the other person, "I'm STARVING!", and wolfing down the wings!! It was so real - made me hungry!! :) P.S. - someone in the dream mentioned "seven o'clock" - I don't remember what the reference was! P.P.S. - Leroy looked GREAT!! P.P.P.S. - Please post again tomorrow, I KNOW I speak for all our readers in saying that we can't wait to hear from you again!! And, again, we all love you both so very much!!! Please take care of yourself!! Get some rest if you can!! Goodnight!!!

Sent by Mary | 1:41 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Hi Laurie
Two months ago I lost the man who was my soulmate to cancer - just after that, I found Leroy's blog. I knew with each post, and hearing the words and subjects he was choosing - to be more tender, more dear, and more simple - that he was close. It was a mirror of what I'd seen only a few months before.
Keep your heart wide open no matter how much it hurts. Wide open. With that vulnerability you will recieve small things that will answer your questions - if you ask them - if you don't ask them - with an open heart, you will get your answers with what you struggle with on the day. I've recieved everything from a song and a lyric at the time I needed it, to the sensation that he is holding my hand as we walk places we used to go, to the spring on the doorstop being sprung when the house is still - so I'd get up thinking the dogs needing to go outside - and in the ether, I can hear him giggling that he got me. In the smallest and the more obvious things - in the things that are fun, and in the things that touch your heart - you will have answers and nudges.
I believe the space between here and there is divided by the thinnest of gauzes - you will find this too with a heart wide open.
And you will find yourself, lifting - and Leroy, carrying you along the way.
All of the worlds kindness to you-

Sent by Gracie | 1:42 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Much love coming your way!

Sent by Angela B. | 1:52 AM ET | 08-20-2008

I already posted earlier today, but can't seem stop myself from checking back -- it's been all day! -- to see the incredible outpouring of those who care. I am so deeply move that it keeps bringing me to tears. What a catharsis after not fully grieving the loss of my dad to learn that all of you are out there sharing in the same thing when I was selfish enough to think that I was alone. Laurie, I hope you see in a shorter timeframe than it's taken me that you are NOT alone -- that there ARE A LOT of us who truly do understand. Never the same way that YOU do -- not the specifics -- but that we're there. After 2 1/2 years, that's so much more than I could have imagined -- all of you out there -- and we have Leroy & Laurie to thank for helping us find each other...peace to all & sweet dreams...

Sent by Tammy Reasoner, Cincinnati, OH | 1:58 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Hi, Laurie,
Your friends here are all sending their support, hugs, and sympathy. This is a hard time and please give yourself time and space to grieve, a very individual process. You are in my heart. I'm glad (though I came late) that I was able to know Leroy at least through his blog and what I've read on him. You both have been very brave for so long.
Love from your old friend,
Marcia Kern

Sent by Marcia Kern | 2:01 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Hi Laurie,

The lift I send to you is the one Leroy sent out to me and to all of us. Hold on to it for as long as you need to. When you are ready to pass it on, you will and then it will just keep going round and round this great big beautiful crazy world, lifting us all up when we need it the most.

Sent by Nancy Kowalski | 2:05 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie,

I promised I would be here for you and here I am along with the group.

So here goes. LOVE LIFT count-down beginning. 1,2,3 LOVE LIFT has begun and will stay launched as long as you need it and each of us.

We'll even be here after if you want to start an addendum blog to this one called something like "His Cancer, My Grief and Healing. Not necessarily that title, but you get the idea.

Among the daily comments there are many husbands and wifes in this blog family who lost a spouse to cancer or children or a parent to cancer or are presently losing someone.

As Leroy's blog helped to strengthen him, so could your daily thoughts or weekly or what ever you decide to write as days go by will hopefully strengthen you.

We who followed the blog lived through Leroy's cancer with you at least virtually so it would seem to me that we might be the ones who need to walk with you. I know you and Leroy have great prominent friends around you like Ted Koppel and the others, but we are here, too, as odd as it might sort of seem.

I've realized since Saturday that I am grieving his loss or at least he comes into my thoughts at situations like my visit to my oncologist today. I felt sadness when Tony Snow lost his battle and for Tim Russert's unexpected death, but my feeling on Leroy's passing is very different and deeper.

If it would help you and you desire to allow it or want do a blog, I, and the others here have said it before and we would be honored and glad to walk the path with you because it is not possible to hear or read bits of someone's life day-by-day and not feel the loss in some form. So that much we do truly share with you.

We don't expect you to cure our sadness, but we who know are willing to walk with you through yours.

Take care of yourself through this time, Laurie. As always I send prayers.

Sincerely,
Bobbie in West Texas

Sent by Bobbie Hollis | 2:16 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Ms. Singer: I just read your husband's obituary in today's paper. I was also told today I am cancer free. To those with cancer: Don't give up hope. My condolences to Ms. Singer.

Sent by Jim Noe | 2:26 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Hi Laurie -

There is a bottom to your sorrow. Sometimes I settle in far enough and find it again. It's comforting, if you know what I mean?

Both great sorrow and great joy are touched with mystery. There is something sacred about touching bottom.

Dive deep. You will surface.

Peace
Tally

Sent by Tally | 2:31 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie,
"Underneath are the everlasting arms." And they're our arms, too. Can you stay with us on the blog? You're surely in our prayers, and we want to stay in touch with you and add our bit to the lifting.
Connie

Sent by Constance Brown | 2:39 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dearest Laurie,

For you my pal, I have gone beyond lifting and am using my powers of levitation to hold you up for as long as you need. It is your time now to let others comfort and care for you as you so lovingly did for Leroy. And although no one will ever know how it feels to walk in your shoes, we will always be there to walk by your side.

"As does the wind to the smallest flowers, we too, plant seeds of love into others. Those who touch us live forever within us." Leroy was my friend, my mentor, my protector and my hero and he will forever be here with me. Laurie, you are my friend, my inspiration, my light and my hero and I will forever be there for you. You have both touched my life in an extraordinary way. Sending you the tightest, warmest hugs and a most heartfelt "YO!" With love -

Your pal, Mo

Sent by Mo | 2:58 AM ET | 08-20-2008

I think of you each night. Sending my love and strength to you.

Sent by Paulette and family | 3:17 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie
Perhaps one a favorite poem, by Yeats, will provide some comfort. I've never met you and Leroy but understand you used to go on some hikes? This poem has lovely images.

I WILL arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the mourning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

Jennifer in France

Sent by Jennifer Kealy | 3:37 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Sincerest best wishes to you during this heartbreaking time. Take lots of time for yourself as you absorb the shock. Just remember my sister, the only way forward is through. And we will all be thinking of you and wishing you well. May it all make sense to us one day.

Sent by Patricia | 3:42 AM ET | 08-20-2008

laurie,

I am in awe of the love and support that your extended family on the blog have expressed. I have pasted below my contribution that I posted on Sunday. I can't help but to think of your Aunt Roslie. Your aunt Roslie was actually one of the most influential people in my life. A day or two before she passed my dad and I went to visit her at the hospital. Your aunt with some help sat up in her bed and smiled and shared how lucky she has been to have lived such a wonderful life, including her battle with cancer. She said that she had enjoyed and valued everyday of her life but now she knew that it was her time and although she wished to have more time she couldn't focus on that because she was so lucky to have had such a great life with the time she had. She told me to make sure that I live, love and value my life because when your time comes she hopes that I can feel like she did at that time. Throughout the entire blog I think of your aunt and her words to a young boy that have always stuck in my heart. Leroy's spirit and words emboddied someone who lived, loved and valued life to its fullest.

I only met Leroy a few times but it was very clear that he truely enjoyed life and loved you. His legacy is not only his work on this blog, as a journalist, but also his love for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you now as in the past two years as I read the blog in the morning. You have been and will continue to be a true Women of Valor and I know that it will be hard but you will continue to embrace life as Leroy and you always have... With all my love.

Sent by Alan Newman | 4:09 AM ET | 08-20-2008

We're here for you Laurie!

Sent by Anna | 5:30 AM ET | 08-20-2008

It time for you grief, you have our support for as long as you need. One man this man has done so much for me and others in our battle with cancer. He touched and reached out over the world. With love and support. Kris

Sent by Kris Worrall in The Netherlands | 6:40 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Good morning Laurie,

I am reading posts from yesterday, and saw that Leroy wanted to be at home at the end. Tears again flowed, because my dad said that and I made that decision to bring him home.

A friend sent me a note after my dad's death and said, "You did right by him." Hard as that decision was, it WAS the right decision.

We have different roles in life. Some of us have to be the strong ones all them (me)when life is dealing some really lousy cards. Some have to be in control all the time (me) when the cards aren't getting any better. Some have to be the fixers all the time. (me again.) Then when we need support, help, and comfort it is not easy to ask for or accept. It is a wise woman who recognizes that help is needed and they are not afraid to ask.

So far there are over 500 of the LA here for you, I truly hope you feel the love and admiration we have for you and the man who was Leroy Sievers.

Sent by Sue Chap | 6:46 AM ET | 08-20-2008

My heart breaks for you. Know that you're being lifted with love for Norfolk, va

Sent by Carol | 7:23 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie, You are in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be for some time to come....

Sent by Kathy | 7:53 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie,
I keep thinking of your blog entry "I want him back", it was one of the most moving things I have ever read. I am sure that you must feel that every second. I don't know how to ease your pain, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent by elissa Rosenfeld | 8:26 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dearest Laurie,

We are lifting, friend...as long as you need...

Hugs and kisses...

Sent by Faun | 8:28 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie,
Your grief is a reflection of your love for Leroy. What a gift that depth of love has been and will continue to be. You are lifted up dear friend, and will continue to be. Blessings and peace to you.

Sent by Andrea | 8:35 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie, You and all caregivers are the heros in the daily stuggle...you will continue to be in my prayers

Sent by sharon blount | 9:26 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie, we shared in the struggle and will share in the sorrow. You are not alone.

Sent by Pat Z. | 9:30 AM ET | 08-20-2008

As long as you need. Being able to express thoughts and feelings here has helped me more than I can say. Consider yourself lifted.

Sent by Dianna Austin | 11:04 AM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie

I came across this blog early this year while researching a project for college. I immediately subscribed and have been following Leroy's story avidly since. I feel like I've been fighting every ache and pain with him and willing for some amazing breakthrough to help him out. You can be very proud of all he's achieved. My most heartfelt wishes to you.

Sent by Val | 11:42 AM ET | 08-20-2008

As we all are lifted by Leroy's still felt presence, so do we collectively lift you.

Sent by Ellen | 12:48 PM ET | 08-20-2008

My love keeps lifting you higher, Laurie.

Sent by Tina Lewis | 12:56 PM ET | 08-20-2008

My thoughts are with you. When you get a little farther along this road, remember--we will need you too. For now, let us do the lifting. I miss him.

Sent by Cindy | 1:50 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Dearest Laurie,

I want to express my deepest sympathy, but also my deepest respect and appreciation for the gifts that both you and Leroy have given the cancer community via the blog. You have made SUCH a positive difference! Our love and support goes out to you. And, we are here for you always.

Sent by Anne M. | 2:03 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie, every single person who reads this blog, and some who post, is living proof of the love that Leroy has for you. I will say has, because love changes, but it's not gone. Both you and Leroy have weaved an enormous web of people together by both suffering and by beauty...that's an amazing thing that wouldn't have been possible 20 years ago. You know, if you had a mind to, you could say one word here, and hundreds of homes and arms would be open to you in a flash. You could get in the car and go place to place, and Leroy would be fantastically pleased.

Sent by Marsha G. | 2:37 PM ET | 08-20-2008

1, 2 , 3 Lift from California.

Sent by Alicia | 3:58 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Dear Laurie,
I'm sorry for your loss. My sister was diagnosed with malignant melanoma
2 years ago and was a follower of Leroy's blog. I know he gave her
courage and she could definately relate to what he was going through because she was going through it as well. She sent me a link to this site back in February. I did not get on the site daily like my sister - in fact I looked at the link whe she sent it to me but then forgot about it until recently when she started to decline. I got on the blog the day your decision for hospice was made - hers was made a few days prior. My sister passed yesterday. She fought it with everything she had. I got on the blog today and read the news. Again I'm sorry. Hopefully one day there will be a cure for all cancer. Here's to lifting each other up. We have to take it one day at a time. God Bless.
Mary B. Ohio

Sent by Mary B. | 4:14 PM ET | 08-20-2008

I AM SO SADDENED TO LEARN OF LEROY'S PASSING. WE [MY FAMILY AND I]WILL MISS HIM ALWAYS. HE TAUGHT US HOW TO LIVE WITH CANCER AND TO FIGHT IT, KEEPING A SENSE OF HUMOR TOO. WE LOVED HIM TOO AND AM SO VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, LAURIE, AND OUR SYMPATHY EXTENDS TO ALL OF HIS BELOVED FAMILY..WHAT A LOSS...

Sent by jo-ann shirer, Manchester CT | 4:21 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie - I've followed the fight silently for the last several years, during which time I also lost a loved one, my boyfriend Scott, to pancreatic cancer. Many of the Leroy's posts, and especially your occasional ones, were touching and insightful in many ways. Cancer is unpleasant for everyone (understatement of the century . . .), but being a care-taker, "the" primary caregiver to your lover is possibly the loneliest thing I've ever been through. I've spent the last year and a half trying to re-establish my life, my sense of "self" that I had sacrificed for Scott when he got sick, and learning how to live without him again. I never saw myself as the type of woman who could put someone, anyone's life, as more important than my own . . . but I did. In the tumult and despair after he passed away, I was so angry . . . with him, with myself. In many ways, you and Leroy helped in this process of grieving, of coming to terms with many things that happened in my relationship during the brief 9 months from diagnosis to his passing, by allowing me to follow your struggle, both in the things were written, and more poignantly the things left to be read between the lines. Despite having gone through it, I find myself at a loss for words that might comfort you. It'll take time to "feel" all of it still . . . but slowly the trauma does subside, and the love you shared will remain. In sisterhood . . . Kim, New York, NY

Sent by Kim | 4:27 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie,
Prayers and affectionate wishes to provide a sustaining lift from Northern Italy now and for all the days to come.

Sent by Maris | 4:56 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Sorry for not writing, been kinda wild here in East Fla.

I am so sorry for your loss, Laurie and all of Leroy's family and friends. This blog has meant so much to me after I found it soon after my wife Jodi passed away March, 2007. It has been such a help to read and share with Leroy, you and all the other posters that have gone through what the patient and us care takers face with our loved ones in this so difficult journey.

I can't imagine the pain you must be in to still write to all of us here.

I agree that what Leroy and you did to chronicle your paths was the highlight of both your lives and the proof is the over 1200 posts received, on a weekend no less! His positive attitude was so uplifiting to me and amazing, such a light unto the Cancer World.

I have felt the presence of Jodi at times, with my daughter saying the same thing. I believe with all my heart that Leroy, Jodi, Terry, Burge, Neil and all the other cancer fighters that are no longer here live on in a better place eternally and that we all will be reunited.

We here will be Lifting in our heart and soul to help you get through this.

Steve Faulkner

Sent by Stephen Faulkner | 5:02 PM ET | 08-20-2008

This Labor Day (2008)it will be three years since my wife died of cancer at age 55. She was the light of my life, the wind under my wings. Without her the house became unbearably empty, as did my life. It was as if someone had sucked all the air out of the balloon called my life. It was then that my (our) good friends and family rallied around me. They were the ones who were my emotional and spiritual buoys. I'm sure you have many people who want to do the same for you. My advice: LET THEM! Don't let any thought of guilt or pride get in the way of letting others help you in whatever way they can. As one of my good friends said, "Please don't deny me the privilege of giving my gift of love to you at this time." May God bless you, your family and all those who loved Leroy. - Dan, Reading, Pennsylvania

Sent by Dan | 5:13 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Yes...Each day will start with 1-2-3 LIFT for Laurie!! in gratitude for all the lifts that you & Leroy sent our way.

Sent by Robin in Maryland | 6:13 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Oh, Laurie, of course we will! What else can we do for you?

I wish I could do more, wave a wand and make the pain of such a huge loss disappear--something more than just this post.

In deepest sympathy,

Sent by Lani, Columbus, OH | 8:41 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Dearest Laurie - How incredibly brave to ask for continued support...what a wonderful model you are of loving and being loved. I think of you and Leroy every day and will be honored to continue to do so. Lots of love and light and peace to you, dear one.

Sent by Denise Bennett | 9:07 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie - I am so sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that some people who are well-meaning, but know not what to say, will say nothing. Death is just so awkward to talk about; sort of like cancer, I guess.

My first few days of widowhood were OK - not in a good way, but there was something to do everyday for a week or so. Planning a funeral is never at the top of anybody's list. However, it is distracting. So are all of the friends and relatives who will come to pay their respects. It's when the distraction is over that things tend to get tough. I actually felt as if I were missing a part of my own body - right underneath my right ribcage. It just felt empty. No one had prepared me for that. And then came the "overwhelming" part. For a woman who did a fair to partly cloudy job of holding it together while he was alive, suddenly everything was overwhelming. There were days when all I could do was sit in the chair. I know now that this was all a normal response, but it felt anything but normal at the time. Please, take care of yourself. The process you are going through now is guided only by YOU. You only do the things that are good for Laurie; this is also a good time to re-evaluate relationships that are a little "tiring" to you - you just can't do it now. And please, remember to eat and sleep. I know this sounds so obvious, but it is hard at times. If I could ever be of any assistance to you at all, it would be an honor. Once again, my deepest sympathy in the loss of your lifes' partner.

Jeanette Carney

Sent by Jeanette Carney | 9:26 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie - here are a couple of quotes that have helped me through some hard times. "They say that when you die, you live on in the memories of your friends. I can't think of a better resting place."
Leroy Sievers "....suffering produces perseverence; perseverence character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us..." Romans 5:3-5G. Randolf ~ "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
~ Walter Winchell ~
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Sent by Chris | 10:19 PM ET | 08-20-2008

1-2-3-lift
4-5-6-lift
7-8-9-lift
As long as you need
God Bless

Sent by Brett Bass | 10:55 PM ET | 08-20-2008

Laurie,

Not long before my mother in law passed away last summer, she prayed to God to give her strength to face her illness and to provide her some comfort by letting her know just a little bit about "what it's all about," you know, the Big Picture. A short while later, she awoke with the song "Row Your Boat" stuck in her head. Disappointed, she later related the story to her close friend who had a much different take on the event. Her friend thought for a moment and said, "Wow! Think about the lyrics:

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream."

Both you and Leroy have been wonderfully gentle rowers. But, if you need someone to take the oars for awhile, we're all here for you. Wishing you peace and light...Laurie in Georgia

Sent by Laurie in Georgia | 12:10 AM ET | 08-21-2008

Laurie, we will be here for as long as you need us. Consider yourself 'lifted'.

Sent by Lisa | 11:53 AM ET | 08-21-2008

Your post brings tears to my eyes. I'm sorry this has happened. Cancer does indeed suck.

(I wonder sometimes how my wife will fare after I'm gone.)

Sent by Scott S. | 5:10 PM ET | 08-21-2008

Oh Laurie, I so feel for you and where you are now. Although I do not have anyone close to me suffering from cancer I started listening to Leroy on NPR, then subscribed to the podcast and the blog. I was so impressed with how he approached this fight. I hadn't read the blog in a few weeks and was so shocked and saddened when I picked up the L.A. Times on Monday and saw that he had died. My heart and prayers go out to you and all the people who love him.

Sent by Elizabeth | 1:27 AM ET | 08-22-2008

Laurie,
I've been in hospital and just got back to my computer. I am so sorry to hear of Leroy's death. we knew it was inevitable but it is always a shock. You and he will always be in my prayers. And that comes with a daily lift. Be well we share in your grief. We hold you in the Light.

Sent by Robert G Oehl, | 11:29 AM ET | 08-22-2008

Laurie:
I am a cancer survivor and everytime someone looses the battle to cancer I grieve with their family because I understand their pain. I will pray for you and I tell you that your best friend in this God's love poured into you through others and Him. I am very sorry for your loss and know that you are being lifted up in prayer. While you grieve know that you are cared for.
Love,
Aggie

Sent by Aggie | 1:39 PM ET | 08-22-2008

Dear Laurie: Today was the first time I've ever heard about Leroy on ABC News. I too have cancer and am starting a treatment for year after already having surgury, chemo, and rads. I am hopeful that this final treatment will kick this cancer where it belongs, far, far away. Everyday I pray for a cure, I worry about metasis, for myself and my breast cancer sisters'. My doctor of 25 years was just diagnosed with Lung Cancer he never smoked his daughter is a good friend of mine has been for years. I made up a list of things to make chemo a little easier, after her father is a doctor and they make terrible patients. The most painful thing to me about cancer is that it just hasn't been beat yet, a few of us may get lucky and beat it and I pray that a cure happens quickly. I feel so horrible for you, my bestfriend died of a rare kidney cancer in 2003 I went everyday to the hospital for 12 hours and did shifts with her husband. When she passed, the next day I woke up and went to the hospital right to her room and wanted to just sit there and pretend she wasn't gone, silly me. The memories still hurt, and I miss her so much so I get it. Looking at the stages and the leftovers left behind. Never did I think I'd get cancer but yup me too and I am fighting hard I also fiquire clinical trials are hard but a big part helping others, I'm babbling, sorry, I just wish I had known about Leroys blog so now I have to dig throw the internet and read it. I am mourning with you, and I'm not going to say chin up, or be positive, or the very worst, it was for the best, I hate that. Cancer sucks, it's not fair, it stinks and you know don't clean your house until youv'e eaten at least two gallons of your favorite ice cream or even better hire someone to help you. I have never met you and my heart is going out to you and Leroy. Gentle Hugs, Pearl Neidlinger, Canada

Sent by Pearl Neidlinger | 7:14 PM ET | 08-22-2008

I wish I had one magic word that would take away your sorrow. Just know that so many care and and will lift you for as long as you need. I'm sending hugs because I don't know what else to do.

Sent by Sandi | 9:13 PM ET | 08-22-2008

Laurie:
The last time I spoke with my brother-in-law, who was more of a best friend and a brother to me was Aug. 1st.He faced his pancreatic cancer very bravely and fought for nearly two years. My sisiter, His wife also has just finished 6 weeks of radiation and to me they have both been extremely stoic. I am not sure I could be as brave as they both have been! Cheri must move on now, and perhaps even face more cancer without him. I do know I feel it was a great honor to help take care of David when I was needed and feel blessed to have had the time with him and to have the memories of times with him. I too am sorry for your loss and together we can all Live Strong!God be With You!

Sent by debbie k. | 9:17 PM ET | 08-22-2008

Laurie,
Things will get better. Slowly but surely. Some days will be so hard. On other days you will find yourself laughing again.
When my dad died of brain cancer I remember just surviving the days to get to my comfortable night time routine and the cocoon of my bed to fall in to blissful sleep. Then up in the morning with the sense of being mightily and painfully overwhelmed. Then, faithfully, something kicked in to get me over my early morning terrors and on to the adventures of the day. Then back to my comforting night routine.
It went on like that for a while. Then, one day, I found I wanted to do things like paint my nails and wear makeup again.
And then the dreams. My dad seemed to comfort me in my dreams. Not many dreams, but I recall three vividly since he died in 2002. They seemed to come when I was so empty - almost turned inside out with despair, grief, and anguish. My mom had a couple as well. In one, she heard a comforting and otherworldly music. Some instrument she couldn't place. Yet, she felt intensely comforted.
So, Laurie, I wish for these comforts to help you as well.
I know this may seem so small compared to the immensity of your grief and loss. I remember the sense that my dad's absence almost had...a presence of it's own.
Oh, and I have one more memory to share. On the night before my dad's brain surgery - the last night he was home with my mom and I - I slept on the floor next to him in our TV room. He slept fitfully and I just dozed in and out in front of the TV. Then, so strangely, I had the feeling of utmost peace. I felt so peaceful and ... ok. I'll never forget it. The very next day, after brain surgery, my dad quickly slipped away. It is still so strange to me that on the night before my family's life was to change permanently, I felt peace like I'd never felt it before. It didn't last. But at least I experienced it.
Did you ever have something happen like that before your husband died? I'd love if you would share because it may help me in the grief that is still present.
And of grief: I don't think it ever goes away entirely.
Thanks for listening to me.
Kelley

Sent by Kelley Jackson | 10:23 PM ET | 08-22-2008

Well Laurie, I just wanted to say that I hold you and your family up in my prayers.. I just read the last few entries to the "My Cancer" blog.
I guess you could say I'm a cancer "survivor" since cancer took my mom 32 yrs ago when I was 13. Now I'm almost 45 and I see it from the other side. loved ones who have lost their spouse, their sister,.. their parent.

Sometimes I don't know how they go on and yet "we do".

I now work in the medical field in elder care and rehab. People are really quite resilient and yet the lost is still so great after all these years.
For me it was thinking I was going to die at the same age as my mom... 37. Well I made it past it and I looked back and thought that I had finally exhaled after 24 yrs of holding my breath.
Just this last year my ob-gyn thought I had ovarian cancer and I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. So far all is well and it was benign. I held all that in from my family ( kids) since I didn't want they to worry.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. All the best to you and your family during this time.
Sincerely,
Liz Wylie
chachachik1@yahoo.com

Sent by Elizabeth Wylie | 3:29 AM ET | 08-23-2008

your entry on the scars was a tough one to read. almost 20 years ago, i was in your shoes and dealing with the realization of the defeat. a long, bloody 2 year battle i fought along side of my mother--who was just 47 years when she had to leave. i still miss her daily, i still cry will i allow the memories to come flooding back, but i still need she is with me.

what a beautiful legacy your husband choose to share with the world. and know you can enjoy the 'on 3 lift' from thousands of others who know exactly how you are feeling.

warm thoughts to you through your griefing process.
rhonda

Sent by rhonda | 1:24 PM ET | 08-23-2008

Laurie,
This is the first time I have posted since I started reading this blog. I wish I would have posted sooner. I work in Cancer Prevention and Control on a state level and reading Leroy's blog helped me to see how the work that I do, especially around colorectal cancer early detection, can really have an impact. I don't get a lot of direct patient contact, but hearing how Leroy progressed through treatment and end of life has spurred me on to continue the work I'm doing. Know how much that this blog has meant to me.

Sent by Jan | 6:28 PM ET | 08-24-2008

Laurie,
I laughed when Leroy wrote about one, two, three lift...it was exactly what my husband and I were going through at the time. My husband died of brain cancer 8/3/08...just a few days before Leroy. We wrote our own blog on caringbridge and I swear Ken and I almost wrote your same blog! I laugh now on how many times we counted to three and Ken said "Wait, I'm not ready". We also noticed how numbers became our life...how many pills do you have left, how many months has he had cancer, how many people wished him well in the day, how many more days do we have, how many more times am I going to have call our insurance to pay our medical claims correctly. Now that it is all over, it became a different number game...the funeral was filled with how many people, how many thank you notes do I need to write, what is his social security number for all of his benefits, how much do you have in assets, how many children do you have, what are their ages, how old was he when he passed away, etc. In the end, you are just a birth date and death date...and a lot of numbers in between. Who says numbers aren't important? Laurie, I wish you a great number of memories, few hours of pain, and many happy times to come. Those are the numbers I hope you can count on.

Sent by Barb Bieschke | 11:10 PM ET | 08-24-2008

This blog has touched me so much. I'm so grateful to Leroy and Laurie for letting us into their lives to share with them such a difficult battle that many of us will, at one point, have to face. Reading this blog every day makes me appreciate the people in my life so much, and I'm grateful for that. Laurie, I wish you all the best. Thanks again for being a part of this beautiful and important piece of journalism.

Sent by Sarah Benson | 5:06 PM ET | 08-25-2008

Keep your chin up! As a supporter of a patient we have to be strong before during & after. Our little fighters would want it that way.

Sent by Tara | 10:14 PM ET | 08-25-2008

lAURIE - I HAVE BEEN SO TOUCHED BY YOUR DESCRIPTIONS OF YOUR OWN PLIGHT. AND THAT'S WHAT IT IS. DON'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO SAY, "THIS WILL PASS..." IT'S TRUE THAT IT WILL, BUT NOT IN A SUDDEN SWEEPING, ALL-CLEANSING WAY -- ALL AT ONCE! THE PAIN LESSENS AND THAT'S A GIFT. IT JUST TAKES SO MANY MORE PHASES AND SO MUCH LONGER THAN EVEN CLOSE FRIENDS CAN TELL YOU. YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW, UNLESS THEY'VE BEEN THERE THEMSELVES, AS I HAVE. PEOPLE ALSO MAY TELL YOU WITH THE VERY BEST OF INTENTIONS THAT "IT WAS ALL FOR A PURPOSE" OR SIMPLY "THE WAY LIFE IS". AND IF YOU DO BELIEVE THAT, YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL BLESSING, AND I MEAN A TRUE BLESSING.. WHAT COMES NEXT HERE MAY INDEED BE TRITE,I SAY WAY UPFRONT (BUT PLEASE NOTE THAT I DON'T USE THE WORD 'COUNT'): YOU CAN FIND THAT YOUR BLESSINGS, YOUR MEMORIES, AND YOUR FRIENDS WILL HELP YOU AND HELP YOU AND THEN THINK OF NEW WAYS TO HELP YOU. AND KEEP ON LOVING YOU. MINE DID WHEN MY BELOVED DIED AND I TRULY BELIEVE I WOULD HAVE NOT HAVE EMERGED AT ALL FROM THE GRIEF AND PAIN WITHOUT ALL OF THEM. I WILL MISS LEROY'S HONEST AND BRAVE MISSIVES FROM THAT PLACE HE'S BEEN, AND THAT PLACE HE KNEW YOU WERE. I AM SENDING YOU MY ENCOURAGEMENT AND LOVE. AND ALL THE LIFTING YOU NEED, AS LONG AS YOU NEED IT. YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO ASK. I'M LIFTING. ALL ALONG.
KATHLEEN ANN

Sent by Kathleen Hale | 6:14 AM ET | 08-26-2008

Dear Laurie-
Please accept my sincere condolences for your enormous loss. Leroy gave a voice to what cancer patients go through. How wonderful that he had you to take care of him through his ordeal-that takes a truly special love.

For one week in the summer I am a counselor at an oncology camp. When are campers are homesick, we tell them that it is ok to be homesick, that means home is a very wonderful place. In the dark days that you will surely experience, I hope that you will be kind to yourself and remember that it is ok to miss Leroy-for he is truly worth missing. I know that friends and relatives cannot replace him, but know that we are here for you. 1-2-3 lift...

Sent by Kim | 2:50 PM ET | 08-29-2008