Hey Laurie,
Damn girl, you sound mad as hell.
Still dealing with what is left is no fun, I know I am still trying to figure it out. Reading your offering today reassures me that I am not alone. Please keep writing the blog, and maybe this community will bring some comfort to your hurting heart.

May the Lord keep you, may the Lord richly bless you, may the Lord soften your heart Laurie.

Sent by Donato S. | 7:41 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Absolutely,
Leroy's courage, and fight needs to be continues through all of us. If it stops now for all of us, because Leroy has gone, then we will do him and you Laurie and injustice....Maybe the beast won Leroy's battle, but it is far from winning the war.
Prayers,
Wanda Amorose

Sent by Wanda Amorose | 7:43 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Powerful Laurie, powerful!

We give up control when we allow things/life/circumstances to control us. We are capable of meeting them head on with support, the right information, rest, and of course nutrition. You are stepping with more confidence each day! Congrats!

Put that beast into the deepest hole, if only it would not surface again. What a world it would be!

1-2-3 Lifting, it doesn't feel as high today...

Sent by Sue Chap | 7:52 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie, Leroy's army is still with you. We will continue to fight the beast. We will never give up.

Sent by dorothy from Oregon | 7:53 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,
What a great tribute to Leroy, I am with you... Let's send that beast out of here!
I contribute my few dollars to research when I can, I help where I can and I will be there for the next person I touch that has come in contact with that beast.
I think now that we have seen it's ugly head, and we have traveled the road with Leroy, Neil, John, Bruce, Terry, Burge, Al, Eileen, Kay, JCR and the so many others, it is in their honor that we must fight. We will win this war...we have too many loved ones still here fighting and we have you and Leroy that have shown us the way! This blog is where we have fought and this is now where we can help each other continue to fight and to heal!
Your awesome Laurie and I thank you!.
To all,
the vertigo is still here, it has wiped me out, but it is temporary. I guess the stress of the last 10 months has finally hit me. The estate closes next week and I will be able to buy our home. I am hoping that will help to put some closure to some of this stress. I think it is time for a good massage! I had my good cry, it's time I heed the advice of many here, take care of me! Thank you!
I love you all...continued prayers!
Bruce, have a great time on date #4! I am excited for you and thank you for sharing!

Sent by Laurie Hirth | 7:56 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Don't forget - Leroy, for as hard as he fought also had some very bad days. And he has left you to fight the hardest battle alone, not by choice, but that is the way it is. You remain here still fighting. Leroy is hopefully drinking Mai Tais with my Mom at the cocktail party I imagine heaven to be. Or he is driving Ferraris with my brother (if heaven exists, he is race car driving with my brother who had a Ferrari business!). Who knows. Either way, this may be harder than the worst chemo treatment. Living without your loved one.

Chin up, Leroy had good days too and you will too!

Sent by Liz L. | 7:58 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Your grief, anger, sadness and even rage at what cancer did to your and Leroy's lives is understandable and quite normal. After some period of time has passed, I hope that the pain of your loss will not be as intense so that the light that was Leroy will shine through, push away the darkness and put cancer "where the sun don't shine". It will always be a part of your life. It took away a treasure. May the memories you built with Leroy warm your heart and restore your soul.

Prayers and blessings as always.

Sent by Al Cato | 8:09 AM ET | 09-25-2008

I'm in. Let's do it so it'll never return.

Sent by Linnea | 8:15 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Give it hell!!!!

Sent by Nichole in FL | 8:22 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear Laurie,
When my husband died, I entered a different world. No longer the "Cancer World" with scans and chemo, radiation and hospice. A different world but scary nonetheless. It makes me feel vulnerable and now I have a different fight on my hands. A fight to try and enjoy a life that now has a huge void in it. It's a more lonely place than before and though I don't like it, I wouldn't want to go back and watch my husband suffer. I still cringe when I hear the word "Cancer". There are a lot of us out here, Laurie only unless we tell people our story, we're hidden from view. No one can look inside and feel our pain.

Sent by Elaine | 8:37 AM ET | 09-25-2008

You GO GIRL! As tough as it is, do your best to beat that cancer up.

Sent by JJG | 8:44 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear Laurie,
It seems as if Leroy has left you with a gift..........inner strength. Grab the beast by the throat...........we are all here to help you..........God knows we all want to KILL the beast!

Sent by sasha | 8:58 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie, You will do what you need to do; there is no doubt in my mind. I finally watched on line part of the memorial for Leroy - the love that man had and still has - and its outpouring also goes to you. Leroy was "larger than life" and every other description that goes that way. And, part of the difficulty is that it is hard that ANYTHING COULD GET HIM. Now we all have to work together to get rid of that damned beast.

Much love,
Jan

Sent by janice goldberg white | 9:06 AM ET | 09-25-2008

I know that sad place: everything is out of focus but in the area of loss so clear.
The hurt is the only thing that is real.
I don't know how but it dissolves. It is as if it takes so much energy it burns out leaving you exhausted but back clearly in this world.

Sent by Liz | 9:07 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,

We're all behind you chasing the beast off the face of the planet!

Sent by Jan | 9:19 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear sweet Laurie,

I can feel Leroy talking through you today! I am amazed at the strengh you have to beat the beast down. By doing so you are healing the pain. I am proud of you. Still always in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the good work girl........

Warm Regards,
Diane

Sent by Diane in Wisconsin | 9:30 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie - I heard Leroy in your words this morning! And I loved it!!
Sending love to you today Laurie, Linda

Sent by Linda Lee | 9:43 AM ET | 09-25-2008

I'm sitting here at my computer, all by myself, and I'm realizing I'm vigorously nodding my head in agreement with you!
I'm thinking of you.
Susan

Sent by Susan | 9:44 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear Laurie,
I've been with you and Leroy for the last year. My son of 21 years died of cancer 14 years ago. His loss still takes my breath away... however, that endless pit of despair does change over the years. Your love and life with Leroy will always be with you and give you strength you never knew possible... just like Leroy's.
You are in my prayers.
With much much appreciation for your blog - you are helping so many of us whose hearts are broken and somehow are patched together. Your honesty and love help us with our own patching..
thankyou.
jenethen

Sent by jenethen | 9:55 AM ET | 09-25-2008

powerful message today, laurie. You say so much in so few words. Thank you.

Libby

Sent by Libby Gallaher | 10:18 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie, That anger is good anger. Hurray for you! You should be mad. C took enough from you - don't let it take anymore. I say we blast it into oblivion!
Laurie Hirth - Now that you've allowed your body to react, it'll start to heal itself. When I had learned I had C and was undergoing tests and making decisions, my brother died unexpectedly. 2 days before his death, after spending 2 days with him in the hospital, my body reacted with Bell's Palsy. I thought I was having a stroke and the remains of that palsy stayed with me thru my surgery and chemo. I think it was finally OK by the time I finished chemo. I thought I was the strongest person I knew but my body thought differently and it led to a different way of dealing with things for me from that point on.
Peace and blessings to both of you and to all of us out here.

Sent by Jeanne Stevens | 10:21 AM ET | 09-25-2008

You go girl, I'm right there with you.

Hugs and lifting prayers...

Sent by Kathy Barney from MI | 10:32 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,

I'm with you. Enough is enough. Even though it's too late for Leroy and my husband, I'm in this fight for the rest of my life now. I've never personally had cancer but am forever changed by it. I will do whatever I can to spread the word and fight this disease to do what I can to save my children and others from getting touched by the horrible beast. Let's take it down!

Sent by Lisa Y | 10:44 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Feisty, feisty is good, and it sounds like you are ready to do battle. Maybe the focus of beating It down to nothingness will be a good and decent distraction from your missing Leroy's presence. Not to mention how great it will feel when calm and peace return and you can share them with Leroy and all his memories. 1 2 3 LIFTING for you daily

Sent by Stitches | 10:47 AM ET | 09-25-2008

AMEN!!!!!

Sent by Deb from Michigan | 10:47 AM ET | 09-25-2008

To Laurie Hirth................hoping you feel better soon..........you are a beautiful person

Sent by sasha | 10:51 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Hi Laurie,

I love this idea. Perhaps this group could plan a certain day, certain time, and together we can scream our lungs out at cancer. The beast needs to be put in it's place!!! If we only receive a second a of relief, it was more than what we had before.

Prayers to you, Laurie

Sent by Kathy B. | 10:52 AM ET | 09-25-2008

I am so glad you are keeping this blog alive, Laurie. What a tribute to Leroy. You've got friends here.

Sent by Ellen | 11:08 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Good Morning Laurie,
The anger is part of the healing process and it is good that you are feeling it. Together we can hopefully send the beast into the pits of hell where it belongs. Hope your day is sunny.

Sent by Teresa in WV | 11:09 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,
Just wanted you to know that thoughts and prayers are with you. And to all here.

Sent by Jen | 11:13 AM ET | 09-25-2008

I can imagine the cancer is causing you significant anger. It stole the man you loved and a cruel manner. You are right that it is important to put it in its place and stomp it down. Leroy did such a great job showing us all how to treat cancer and keep control of it. Now that he is gone, we need to carry on his strength.

Maybe a visual "clue" for the cancer would help you stomp it down. A bottle of medication....a hospital gown...something of that sort to actually stomp.

Hugs to you Laurie. You are a real trooper. Know we are here lifting...

Sent by Alexis Redmond | 11:29 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Hey all
Cancer is the biggest mofo on the planet. The very mention of the word strikes fear deep inside, and if you are on the receiving end of that word, well I cannot begin to imagine what that feeling is like and I hope I never do.

I do not give to cancer research anymore. Someone is getting very rich from all the donations. We have been told since the 1970s that a cure is right around the corner????? oh really! Meanwhile people are dying from this, a total of almost 600k per year in the USA, all of them having some sort of treatment that costs money, big Pharma is rich people. You will never see them being bailed out by our Govt.
Laurie I feel for you girlfriend, I wish I could give you a hug. Please take care of yourself, you can drive yourself mad thinking about this. I hope you have a lot of people around you to help.
Peace to all today

Laurie Hirth, feel better girlfriend, a massage works wonders.

Sent by fay in gilbert az | 11:29 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie, Watching someone fight so hard for so long, does give you the will ti fight too. This fight happens all over the World every day. Some win, most do not. I will grind in the face of the Beast until I have no strength, or tools with which to fight.

Thoughts, Stan

Sent by Stan Wozniak | 11:31 AM ET | 09-25-2008

After anger someday will come acceptance.. Not HAPPY about it, just at peace I hope..

But we are here for you!!

1 2 3 4 LIFT
FROG...

Sent by Patsy Elmore from Knoxville, TN | 11:31 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Your comments are inspiring to anyone who has been a caregiver, and has lost someone to the "beast".

Sent by Sid Frede | 11:41 AM ET | 09-25-2008

It's a call to arms for Leroy's Army... really helping people... this is what we need... no yellow arm bands, something that can really help people and those around them live and live-on with/after cancer.

Sent by Brian "Brit" Goss | 11:44 AM ET | 09-25-2008

Thinking of you. I'm going to a national conference on lymphoma this weekend in San Francisco. Your email has energized me to go to the advocacy sessions as well as the sessions on my particular blood cancer. Your anger at cancer will help others survive.
We will all try to help you get through this really hard time.

Sent by Roz | 12:13 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Good Morning Laurie,
I did the 5K walking in the Komen Race for The Cure last Sunday. This walk is to raise money for Breast Cancer, which I feel is part of the Beast. Cancer is Cancer, and we must continue to beat it down with more research. I am a 2006 survior, all is well for now. Have you thought about setting up a program in Leroy's name that the contributions would go to Cancer Research? Lord knows this disease is epidemic size, so many people are diagnosised every year.
Page Hendryx - Oregon

Sent by Page Hendryx | 12:19 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear Laurie, What courage---attack that beast like Leroy did. Good for you but do remember there will be days when you may just have to rest, not fight the beast, but take care of you. Perhaps you could be helped by reviewing how the last day of Leroy's life was from your point of view rather than Leroy's. Only a suggestion--do whatever is best for you.

Sent by Martha C. | 12:31 PM ET | 09-25-2008

sounds good to me!! Iv been dealing with this darn CC for 5 years and I'd like to send it where the sun don't shine!

Sent by sue | 12:46 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear Laurie-

I spend a week every year as a counselor at a camp for children with cancer, those who are cured and their siblings. A lot of people say that it must be so very sad. But it is the happiest place I know. Like Leo, children have a gusto for life and our camp allows them to be kids instead of "kids with cancer". Every year we have a memorial for the children that we have lost in the last year. The camp social workers have read the following poem for the last several years-I am not sure where they found it.

What Cancer Can Not Do

It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit

I hope that this helps to comfort you. Be gentle with yourself when your grief overcomes you and strike a blow to cancer by seizing life when you are able.

To Fay,
I understand the way you feel. I have lost several close friends to cancer, my dad to a glioblastoma a month after he was diagnosed and countless children from camp. But, I am also a cancer researcher. Cancer is SO much more complicated than the average non-scientist understands. And we (cancer researchers) are very frustrated by the slow pace and tiny progress that we have made but yet very hopeful by what has been done and the research that is ongoing.

If you want to do something but still don't want to support research consider
sending to an organization that supports patients. For example, the Lance Armstrong Foundation has FREE "Livestrong Survivorship Notebooks" which provide all kinds of cancer related information (not just medical but emotional, practical, etc) as well as a notebook to bring to appointments and to organize the overwhelming amount of information that you receive from your physician.

To all-may you have the strength that you need to get through your challenges-whatever they may be.

Kim

Sent by Kim | 12:47 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Amen, sister!!!

Sent by Marilyn Trujillo | 1:35 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,
I so agree with you just what can we do. I feel the same way you do. We are without someone we love to live our life. I want to do sometime to blow this beast away. I give money all the time but it feels like it not helping. Maybe we can do something together as Leroy's army. If you can think of anything please let us know. I know if we could come up with a cure I would feel like my husband battle wasn't for nothing. Maybe it could help someone else out there maybe even my kids or grandchildren someday. Please if you want to start a group I'm in. I feel the same way you do.

Sent by Aurella | 1:39 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Dear Laurie,

Yes, you will heal. It will take some time. Thank you for sharing with us. Leroy's army is still here for you.

Fay, sometimes it does seem that there is little progress for all the money that goes into research. However, cancer is not just one disease and it is very complicated. I had cancer the first time in 1961. I have been given that diagnosis five times (colon twice, ovarian twice and small bowel once) over the years with the last bout in 2006. There are improvements in treatment if not a cure yet.
And brave patients like Leroy have helped by being agressive in taking new treatments that others might not be willing to try. I agree with you that the big pharmas could stand some investigation. People should not die because they can not afford the drugs.
Charlotte in Rural Ridge, PA

Sent by Charlotte Kewish | 1:53 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,
I had a bilateral mastectomy on August 12, facing my second brush with cancer in less than two years. I just wanted you to know that, being a faithful reader of Leroy's blog for the past couple of years, his attitude and great heart meant a lot to me. I think this time around I am less scared and more atuned to the impacts of my illness and recovery on my family, friends and coworkers -- in large part due to Leroy's thoughts and feelings expressed in his blog. He set a good example for me on how to look outward for inspiration to forge ahead instead of focusing internally on my own pain, fear, and discomfort. I am so sorry for your loss. I miss that guy, too.

Here's to healing -- mentally and physically -- for you and for us all!

Sent by Martha | 1:59 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Amen, sister Laurie, amen ...! Can I have a witness??? Oh yeah!

Here's to being with the sadness and the anger; sharing it(as often as needed); moving through it (eventually) to the other side of it ; and to life's flow and process, and all that it is.

God bless Leroy; god bless Laurie; and god bless us every one ~

Sent by Kim Forester, Pullman WA | 1:59 PM ET | 09-25-2008

I miss Leroy too.

Sent by Missy | 2:20 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Right on Laurie! So far I'm a cancer survivor and probably not as strong as you are---so could you give that cancer a few whacks from me, too??

Sent by Angela B. | 3:47 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie: I held my husband's memorial this past Sunday, on the beach that he love so much. After it was over, I felt a mixture of peace and sorrow. The next day, our niece had downloaded pictures that his kids had taken. One of them was taken with the two of them the morning of the day he died. When I saw that photograph, I was shocked and shaken. "Did he really look like that?" I asked my niece. I saw him 24/7, and to me he was my beautiful husband, even though I saw how the cancer had distorted his body so. It broke my heart; photos don't lie. But after seeing it, I'm so glad he's not suffering any more. But the emptiness and loss is so great; I understand what you are saying. Peace eludes us; but we put one foot in front of the other whether we like it or not. I have found a wonderful book, "Healing after loss", by Martha Whitmore Hickman, and one of the things she says is "I will see the shadows of my grief everywhere. And move on." Our love for our husbands will endure forever; it's just getting on with life that's hard. Peace to you, Laurie, Marsha

Sent by marsha bacenko | 3:54 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Hi Laurie. Ive read this blog for a few years now, first time for a comment though. Your post today knocked me off my feet. I lost my mom and two sisters to cancer. My best friend has stage 4 breast cancer. I remember the deep anger I felt,I just wanted to crush something. It still surfaces to this day, when I least expect it. But deep down inside I believe we need to keep this seething need for a cure, for victory always with us, just below the surface. This passion is what forces those of us touched by cancer to fight to end cancer's reign of terror, even if our wounds still hurt. I'm in, let the battle rage on. What do we do? Peace.

Sent by Jane V | 4:55 PM ET | 09-25-2008

we are with you Laurie. we'll lift you, carry you AND fight with you! we love you.

Sent by Lydia Yoder | 5:05 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Page Hendryx, Fay, and all,

Don't forget that we learned (here, on "My Cancer") that we can all donate to the Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center in Leroy's name, SPECIFICALLY FOR PATIENT SERVICES; and that you can tend to it easily online: http://www.hopkinskimmelcancercenter.org/contributions/index.cfm

While you may be frustrated, dear Fay, with donations not going where you wish, you can take heart in conributing directly to services for the patients, as Laurie and Leroy wished.

Hope this helps a little for those wishing to do "something" ~

Best wishes, again,

Sent by Kim Forester, Pullman WA | 6:02 PM ET | 09-25-2008

I lost a dear friend to a mental illness some years ago. In many ways Leroy's fight reminded me of him - the way he courageously fought a monster he couldn't see. I still feel pain like you describe sometimes - when something catches me off guard and reminds me of him. In a strange way that pain is comforting to me now - it lets me know that I haven't forgotten him, that he's still alive in my heart. My prayers are with you while you continue Leroy's fight.

Sent by Rebecca | 6:30 PM ET | 09-25-2008

So Laurie what's the plan?? What specific action do we take. It seems there are so many individual foundations, etc. But how do we mount a cohesive, serious attack?? I'm in - know it. ALL THE WAY. What we need is one angry leader!!!

Sent by JaeMoyer | 8:20 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,
Eventhough my husband is still here fighting the beast, it has taken the man he was. He's gone from a man with more energy than 3 or 4 men to one who can't walk 20 feet without getting breathless. I get so angry sometimes I want to scream, yell and take my arms and clean all the desktops and counters in one big sweep, breaking everything in sight. I can't imagine how angry and sad you are at losing the love of your life but I know how angry you are at cancer.I find it so amazing that you can continue to write everyday about this awful thing. I know Leroy is your saving grace still.Tomorrow I attend the funeral of a close friend that lost her fight with pancreatic cancer. I know her husband will not know what to do with himself having nobody to care for now, but she made him so much stronger over these last 9 months that he will figure it out. I am holding my breath for the results of my husbands brain MRI but his oncologist visit is Monday so we should know for sure then. Here's lifting us all.

Sent by Kathie | 8:55 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie,

Whatever it takes to heal. Is what we need to heal. Yes I know: out of no where when you least expect it you have been punched in the stomach...no wind left...week at the knees..wondering what hit you. That bastard cancer takes so much from us.

Laurie Hirth - if you get this late post: has anyone told you they love you today? I love you and hug you. we all do and would if we could. It's ok, its ok...just hang in there Laurie. Get that massage, you can imagine it is Neil's hands and then the tears will flow again healing you. Because tears represent all the love you still had to give to Neil. So let it out in a safe place. You are safe here too, my friend.

All Love from Graham in Sag Harbor.

Sent by Graham G. Hawks | 9:38 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Laurie, the pain, the grief of losing Leroy will bring you to your knees over and over again. It will take your breath away. How could it not?

We, in cancer world, sometimes think we are prepared for the final loss but nothing prepares us for the finality of losing someone we deeply love.

You will survive this, Laurie, as you did the cancer, but it will take time. That is the only medicine that works.

Anger helps. Hang in there.

Sent by Marilyn | 9:44 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Still helping you lift Laurie~~HUGS your way as well.
Fay.
I watched my Grandfather and Uncle both with lymphoma. I also have it a different form but aggressive all the same.(30 different cell types of non Hodgkin's lymphoma.) In over 25yrs I have seen many things change in the face of blood cancers. I am living proof with stage4 aggressive cancer that there are clinical trials working for some. Maybe not enough but some its a plus. I can't help but think if I sit here and do nothing change will never come.
Cancer is over 100 diseases made up of many different cells. So finding one cure doesn't cover it.Its many cures for many diseases.
I hope and pray one day they are all cured. Frankly after fighting it for this long I have one complaint only. That's if I don't do anything about it then it will never ever change for those just starting out. If I am silent and don't share my experience that yes some survive..Then what hope is there.
The other thing is it takes money to research. I am here due to two clinical trials. So I can't help but support research in patients behalf. I have a chance when my Grandfather and Uncle had traditional treatment and that was it. So in so many aspects. many things have improved its just sad that not everyone makes it. Beleive me being one who has I am very blessed. But its not with out great cost.
I have to always think I am hear I can do something for those who can't. Sometimes its just not about the money we give to research its about the hope we give to others in their time of need.
Blessings to all.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 10:19 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Keep fighting...He wouldn't want it any other way. Lifting 1 2 3.
Prayers and peace, always.

Sent by Julie | 10:37 PM ET | 09-25-2008

Hi Laurie,

Hang in there, and be as angry as you need to, to get through to a better place.

Sent by nancy kowalski | 11:12 PM ET | 09-25-2008

I love listening to his voice on the commentaries...he is still here, just around the corner.
Love and God Bless

Sent by T | 4:39 AM ET | 09-26-2008

Hi to Charlotte, Kim, Kerry and all
Thanks for your kind words. I guess I am still angry at losing my mum, sister, cousin and 2 or 3 best friends to cancer over the years. I am sure there are great strides being made in cancer world. I know personally of one lady who was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and survived. I think I am just looking for a way to help. When my sister died donations were collected for the local hospital where she had most of her treatment. I took the check to them the day after the funeral and the head nurse told me that it would go to buy a much needed sleeper sofa in the family room so that family members could stay over. I know how much this kind of thing is needed. I spent 8 days sitting at my sisters bedside 24/7 on a hard back chair.
Or maybe at the Ronald McDonald house, I have thought of just having a bunch of pizzas delivered. I don't know, but I am sure I will come up with something. I did not mean to hijack this thread, I feel a bit selfish now. I know my sister made a difference to the people who were around her when she was having her treatment. A bunch of really beautiful ladies with no hair came to her funeral and told me she was an inspiration to them. The head nurse told me that she had changed the way the doctors treated patients. She taught them that patients were people, not just bodies in beds. Apparently things changed quite dramatically there. Thanks again for being so kind.
Peace

Sent by fay in gilbert az | 10:56 AM ET | 09-26-2008

Amen! I'm so sick of cancer hurting those that I love.

Sent by Winelover | 4:06 PM ET | 09-26-2008

My dearest Laurie,
I can sit here and tell you how i feel but the process is different for everyone. I lost my father when i was seventeen years old to colon cancer after i saw him fight his ass off for five years! It is okay to be mad, sad, clueless, and numb all at the same time. It has been almost four years now and there are still days where i miss him so much it hurts! I just learned of Leroy's loss and i am sorry that you also got screwed by cancer. It makes me think back to when he did the special on t.v. about cancer about a year ago and that's when i found out about his blog. I hope that you will keep it up, it might be a form of therapy. And don't think just feel it is the only way to heal!

Sent by Danielle Majerczyk | 12:29 AM ET | 09-28-2008

Your very welcome Fay I think its finding where you want things to go. When you do then it works for you.
Sorry about your Mum, sister cousins, and friends.
Its tough been there in more ways then one.

Sent by Kerry in Michigan | 8:04 PM ET | 09-28-2008